John Sampson's Story

‘On your flank.’ That’s three of the most significant words in a pony’s life. I waved the Doctor back a little and stood so I could get a full view of it. Yep, there it was. In full color and real as real gets. I’m the flow chart pony.

So I step over to where Swift is standing, carefully take her head in my hands, bend over, and give her a full on, ‘x’ rated, promise of things to come, kiss. After about half a minute I pull back. She gasps, “John, please tell me, for future use, what brought that on?”

“While we were flying back in the chariot I made a bet with myself. I swore that I would kiss the first mare that realizes that physical strength isn’t my talent and asks what is. You just won first prize.”

That woke Twilight up. “John, are you saying that if I had asked first you would have put a lip lock like that on me?”

“Yes. I was actually expecting Celestia to win, though.”

Nothing but stunned silence. So went back to the ‘table’ and sat down putting me close to eye level with the Doctor. “What’s next Doc?”

Doctor Red Duke blinked once then said, “Major, while a little magic help may be needed, I am quite certain that you could have a foal in next year’s crop if you desired,” and pointedly looks down.

Oops. I’ve got a boner that would make Big Mac proud. Y O G A. Y O G A. “Doctor, heartbonding isn’t possible for a human. I’d never even heard of it. And I started it. I said the traditional words first with total and absolute certainty that those were the specific words that I must say. Are you sure I’ll need external help?”

“I can run a fertility panel on you and see what’s there to see.”

“Tell me, Doc. Humans have forty six chromosomes. Terran equines have sixty two, sixty three, or sixty four. How many do ponies have?”

“What’s a ‘chromosome?’”

“A chromosome is an organized stack of DNA that encodes the genetic information of a given organism.”

“What’s ‘DNA’?

I glance over and Twilight looks like she is approaching orgasm. “Doc, lets try the other end of this problem. Why don’t we start with the images of my body and be sure we are on the same page re organ names and such?”

The same Pegasus that took the pictures away earlier brought us three copies of them and a box of pencils. We determined that most of my organs are what and where they are supposed to be. The doc did notice one difference. “You have a well developed gall bladder. I take that means you are a meat eater?”

“Yes, Doc, that is one of my weaknesses. In fact, it was eating a Manticore that got me into this mess.”

The Doctor slowly edges away, “You ate a Manticore?”

“Well it seemed fair, Doc. He was trying to eat me.”

After an assurance that I didn’t eat ponies, we got back to the images. Generic images of ponies were brought in for comparison and I noticed a difference.

“Doc, what’s this web of veins that runs from the extremities to the horn in a Unicorn?”

Twilight spoke up instead, “It’s how we gather magic and conduct it to our horn so it can be projected. A Pegasus would have the veins terminating in her wings. An Earth pony has no defined terminus but does have the veins running from hoof to hoof.”

“Okay. Now look at my images. It’s called my Lymphatic System and it terminates in my heart. There is no magic on Terra so humans wouldn’t develop a magic system but damned if this doesn’t look just the same. Same patterns, same nodes. How can we test this idea?”

It was determined that Twilight would maintain a shield to protect all from an accidental discharge. The Imagining Unicorn would watch and record my lymphatic system while I lifted something beyond normal human strength to activate my magic. Doctor Red would measure the flow of magic in and out of me. But it was also decided to do it after lunch so I got dressed and we headed out.

“I’m all for the Guard Cafeteria. What interests you mares?”

“I don’t see why not,” from Swift.

“You want the meat, don’t you, John?”

“Yes, Twilight, I do. There are trace nutrients that have been missing from my diet and I’m anxious to repair that. And it tastes good.”

“Alright, John, let’s do it.”

Both the mares chose large salads. I chose a small salad and grilled chicken with potatoes. I decided to splurge and order a beer with it. It was going to be my first chance to spend an earned bit but she wouldn’t take my money. “It’s my honor, sir.” I took the salad and beer and followed the mares.

We settled on a table near the kitchen because I had to wait for my chicken to cook. I was about halfway through my salad when Twilight looked up and fired off, “When were you two planning to tell the rest of us?”

Swift looked at me so I fielded it, “I was planning something like lunch today but, in case you haven’t noticed, shit just happens around me. Like I told the Doctor, I didn’t have a clue what the significance of the words were, I just knew that they were right in some ultimate sense. When I tap my magic in the gym, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just will it to happen and it does.”

“John, that’s a pretty good description of how magic works for most ponies. The question is how you are manipulating the magic without a magic organ or is there a human magic organ that we don’t recognize?”

Somepony called my name about then so I went to the kitchen and picked up my grilled chicken. It didn’t last long at all. Twilight was watching me like an experiment. “John, I think you might have to adjust your diet. It takes energy to use magic. You wouldn’t believe how much Celestia eats and still stays slender.

We decided to pass through the Colonel’s office to update my status (again) and give him a date for Berry Blush. The clerk was opening the door as we walked in, “Princess Sparkle, Major Sampson, and Captain Trail to see you, sir.

“Princess, how may I help you?”

Twilight just pointed to me.

“Well, John, what have you broken now?” with a grin.

“Nothing, sir. This time I fixed something.” And I pulled my pants down exposing my flank.

“Congratulations. Now, what is it?”

“It’s called a ‘flow chart’. It’s a human tool used to organize large complex activities into something manageable.””

So your talent is organizing?”

“There’s more to it than just that. It’s also used to impose logic on situations too complex for one pony to visualize.”

“Interesting. Just how do you use it?”

“It’s the talent that makes me such an effective problem solver. Show me a problem and I will quickly break it down into steps that lead to a solution. It’s why I’ll need Berry Blush in three days.”

“You will be notified when he arrives.”

“Thank you, sir”

“I can’t wait to see what you come up with tomorrow. Dismissed.”

We paused long enough to let the clerk make a sketch of my new cutie mark then off we went to the Doctor’s office. When we got there nopony was ready for me. I decided to take advantage of the time with Twilight. “Twilight, Luna had these clothes made for me and I don’t have the first clue where. I need more, I need different, I would like to get my cutie mark printed on some of them. Do you have any idea where I should go?”

“John, that’s just perfect. Rarity is another of the Bearers and she owns a shop in Ponyville. You both need a wardrobe. I’ll just set you up with one as a wedding gift. And John, don’t try to back out. Rarity would pay you to wear her designs in Royal Court. Swift, you two need to complement each other if you want to mingle in Royal Society.

“I’ll tell you what, Twilight, there’s another condition. We need to get out of the Ambassadorial Suite sometime soon. It’s nice as hell after living in a mud hut for two years but everything we do is back here. Besides if I’m going to participate Royal Society, I want a place I can retreat to. I want a defensible space. The Colonel has offered us a decent apartment in the Guard Sector. I want the option to look at it and maybe say yes.”

“Of course, John. You can live anywhere you want as long as somepony else isn’t already living there. And I’ll outfit it with conveniences so I can visit you in comfort every once and a while.”

“One more thing. Allow time for a party in Ponyville and notify Pinkie before we go there.”

A low rumbling noise that I had noticed began to get loud enough to get everypony’s attention. It stopped just outside the hall door. The door opened and an Earth pony stuck his head in, “Where do you want it?” And right there, in the hall, was what we were waiting for, a deadpony ball.

The nurse wanted it in the imaging room but the cart wouldn’t fit through the door. The two Earth ponies made a production of rigging a bar through the ring and preparing to carry it in. I couldn’t take any more. “Just leave it there.”

“But, sir, if they leave it out there, how are we going to get it to the imaging room?”

“Just open the door.” I walked over, picked it up with one hand, and walked in. The nurse got out of my way.

I set the deadpony in front of the white wall and waited. In about ten minutes the Doctor and Image Tech came rushing in, “They told me it would take another hour to get that thing in here.”

“Captain, you are going to ignore me one more time and I am going to become a literal monster.” I walked over to the deadpony and picked it up. Waving it at the Doctor, I said, “I could have simply carried it back from lunch and saved us all a couple of hours.”

We decided that since I had already been ‘juggling’ deadponies without disaster for days, we would dispense with the shield. Everypony was lined up and ready. “Go.” And I lifted the ball and held it out with arm at full length in front of me. After several pages, “Enough.” and I set it down.

The sketches seemed to show that the veins moved but how wasn’t clear. The Imaging Unicorn said, “I can’t draw fast enough to show it but when he has the ball lifted there is something traveling from his core to his extremities through those veins with a wave motion like peristalsis. It’s very small and very fast but it’s too consistent to be an accident.”

Twilight is in her element now. “We need a control. John, can you do something hard without magic? And I don't think we want the sketches if they don't show what we need.”

“Sure. Ready?”

“Go” And I pushed hand against hand as hard as I could. Then I turned it around and pulled. “Enough.”

Everypony looked at the Imaging Tech, “Nothing. Good muscles, no magic.”

“John, could you do the same thing with magic, flex your magic muscles?”

“Ready.”

“Go.” And no magic came. Nothing.

“It doesn’t work. The magic won’t come.”

“That’s good John. It’s what I hoped for. It means that your magic is fully controlled. You just have to find out how to operate the controls.” Twilight smiled.

“Alright. Now what does that mean for my personal problem?”

The Doctor and Twilight looked at each other. Twilight spoke up. “John, It should mean that you are perfectly safe to do anything you want with Swift. You couldn’t use your magic to harm anypony unless you explicitly wanted to. Your magic is not like Unicorn magic, it’s goal oriented like Pegasus or Earth pony magic.”

“Are you both completely sure of that?”

“As sure as anypony can be with a completely new kind of pony.”

“What about fertility?”

"Ordinarily I would say ‘no’ right off. Ponies have made bands with Griffons, Zebras, and Minotaurs. None have been fertile without help. You might be an exception. I would just give it try. If it doesn’t work I can spell you to all physical stallion, part stallion, or make you fertile with any female. The worst thing that can happen is a years wait." Twilight offered.

“Major, I might be able to help. We talked earlier about a fertility panel. That would require a semen sample. I could tell you how healthy your sperm is and you could see what happens when you ejaculate with your magic while risking nothing but an A/V.”

“Now that is a plan.”