John Sampson's Story

The afternoon was a success. AJ’s pies drew comments both for their quality and her generosity. Everypony at least stopped in to say hello. And I got some important business done. So why do I feel like stepped on shit?

We had made it to the bedroom and were piled on the pad but I wasn’t resting. AJ and Swift both knew something was wrong and were holding me close.

I was looking for some comfort, “AJ, Twilight is going to talk to you about our trust and foals. I have decided that she can have a foal whenever she wants one if she will set up something legal to give the foal our name and heritage. She has accepted this after I explained why she can never be a member of our band. That’s what we were doing this afternoon. She cried a lot.”

Swift squeezed me, “We noticed that she looked somber after talking to you. I told several mares that you had been on Celestia’s business earlier and that this was probably related.

“Oh, Swift, my intuitive wonder, you are exactly right. But it makes it no less painful.”

“Can you tell us, John?” Swift asked.

“Sure. There’s nothing secret about it and you need to know. Just don’t blame me if you cry.

We heartbond. It’s the strength of our band. Have you thought about what is going to be like when one of us dies? When we have a part of our own heart ripped out by the roots?”

AJ spoke up, “But we know the bond will still be there when we get to the other side of death. We will be reunited in time.”

“AJ. Swift. Twilight is an Alicorn. How long do Alicorns live? Right. Joining our band would be condemning Twilight to an eternity of pain after we ripped out part of her heart and moved on.”

We all cried ourselves to sleep that night.

I decided to speak with Luna instead of PT in the morning. Two days in a row isn’t ideal but we were on a deadline. My timing was, again, perfect and I joined the sisters on their balcony again. When it was done Celestia asked, “Do you have news for me, John?”

I replied, “I’m here primarily for Luna’s expertise but you should know that the issue with Twilight is fully resolved. I have told her how to have foals without invoking Royal Privilege and why she can never be a part of our band. She is not happy but she is in agreement. She could probably use some consoling.”

Luna looked directly at me, “Thou art a wonder to me, John Sampson. A stallion dictating the affairs of a Princess is unheard of.”

“Show me a private place and I will explain.”

So we went down the stairs and two halls to a sitting room that I suspect is part of Luna’s private quarters.

When were seated Luna leaned toward me and dialed up the Royal focus, “Tell me, John, how dost it come to pass that thou hast refused a Princess Her due.”

“Luna, I came here to ask you to examine my soul. Please look as deeply as you dare. I refused Twilight’s request to join our band and I would refuse you or Celestia just the same. Neither my desire nor yours has any relevance in this. We are heartbonded. I could not condemn anypony, much less one I loved, to an eternity of loss when we all died and She didn’t.”

I do believe I see a tear forming.

“Luna, you have my friendship, my loyalty, and my love. I will give you foals for no more than an agreement to give them their heritage. You are welcome among us at will or we would come here just to be social with you. All is yours for a simple asking, except our heart. We would deny you that not for any reason but your own sanity.”

The focus is gone but the tear is definitely there. So I move to sit next to her and offer my shoulder. She grabs me with an unexpected strength and I feel a small sob pass. All I can do is hold her and wait.

“John, it hast been many generations of ponies since I have felt the embrace of a stallion as anything but a living dildo. Thank you. I may send for thou some day but it must be done with the utmost discretion. All of my other ponies worship me and I cannot break that mystique.

But thy came here with a problem of thine own. What be it?”

“I have an alter ego. I call him my inner pony. He’s been there since my Oath and I feel his influence in my daily life. This isn’t a bad thing. I feel and act more pony than human in many respects. Sometimes I have to consciously invoke my human nature. None of these are bad things. But while we were camping on AJ’s farm, he got out and took control. My intellect was an observer while he chased down and covered AJ in an instinctual manner. The strange part is that I was physically a full pony. I had all the physical attributes of a pony stallion right down to four hooves. AJ verified every one of them. I need to know just what he is and if I can control him. My hope is that you could put me in touch with him in a dream. And Luna, my band knows I came here to explore my dreams. We have time for some grooming afterward.”

“Lay back and make thyself comfortable, John.”

I did and She touched Her horn lightly to my forehead. Then She stepped back, “Where should we look for thy other self?”

We were in the same room but there was a difference. Then I realized that there were no shadows. I was dreaming. “Perhaps the last place that I saw him, the hidden pasture on Aj’s farm.”

“Picture it for me.”

The world rippled and flowed and we were there.

Call thy inner pony.”

I whinnied and looked around. I whinnied again and got an answer. He stepped out of the wood right behind where our tent had been. I had never looked at him before and AJ had only seen him in a dark night. In the daylight I recognized him instantly. “Fred?”

“What in the hell are you doing here, Fred?”

“You are helping me? How?”

A long and complicated conversation followed. Getting complex ideas into one word sentences isn’t easy. The short of it is that when I took my Oath and declared my desire to be a pony Fred was already linked to me and decided to help. My ‘inner pony’ was an image of Fred given to me as a pattern for my pony self. Fred was helping me by demonstrating equine ways using the Fred pattern. At the same time he was tapping my knowledge of verbal thinking and memories to help him understand ponies and communicate with me. It is a damned clever use of a limited resource and beneficial to both of us. But our direct conversation had to end.

“Okay, Fred. Thank you and please do this again.”

“He’s awake now. That was a very interesting discussion, John.”

“Yes it was. Luna, while we are here I would like to try something. Would you mind a bit of grooming?”

“Not at all, John.”

Her mane is like liquid magic. I don’t know what I could do with it but when I feel for the neck, it’s solid. Starting at the base of Her ears, I scratch and massage with my fingers along the base of Her mane. About a third of the way down Her neck She suddenly leans into me and starts chewing. I put both hands on that spot and She leans harder and begins to moan.

I massaged my way down both sides of Her neck. When I get to Her withers, I feel Her breath on the back of my neck. She begins grooming me one hair at a time. I started on Her back but I ran into Her wings.

“Luna?”

“Uhmmm”

“I’ve never had to deal with wings before. You’ll have to tell me how.”

“Just be sure each feather is clean and in line with the others. Thou can’t do any harm to me so try what ye will.”

I don’t how long we spent in that place because dreams are timeless but my body eventually made a tea related demand on me.

When I returned She was smiling. “That was a great gift, John Sampson. May I call on thou in thy dreams from time to time?”

“Of course. That was the intent behind this little experiment. This makes discretion much simpler. Remember that I cannot lie to my mares but I am sure they would never begrudge either of us a sweet dream.”

I took the binder apart and began to break the proposal into manageable chunks. When I had the whole of a piece, I gave questions from it to Swift for research. We exercised some Pegusi couriers for several days but the picture began to come together. There was a clear pattern of waste. I couldn’t prove that anypony was anything but careless or ignorant but I could prove that millions of wasted bits would invariably fall into the same small group of pockets. I made a list. I double checked everything on it. Then I told Swift to get me an appointment with Celestia.

She sent word that She would see me when I could get there.

We were in her private office.

“How bad is it, John?”

“It’s mildly brilliant. It will generate a boom in the region and many millions of bits will be made. And almost all of them will end up in the same few pockets.”

“Are you saying there is something wrong with the proposal?”

“There is nothing illegal about it at all. It’s just bad management practices that waste bits by the bushel. The clever part is that all of the wasted bits wind up in the same pockets over and over again. Herd A will build housing for workers in Baltimare because all of the buildings close enough are under contract to herd B and not available. The buildings are empty but nopony can force the lessee to let somepony else use them. Herd B is building housing in Fillydelphia because the herd A is leasing in Fillydelphia.

Hundreds of wagons are being purchased to haul material parallel to the existing railroad. As a part of the project is completed all of the wagons are auctioned off in the manner normal for surplus government property. Except the auction is being held on the construction site in the middle of nowhere. Expect to get about two bits per wagon. Then more wagons will be purchased for the next phase of construction at a bid price of twelve hundred bits each. Purchased from one of those same herds, who has no stock of new wagons nor source to obtain them in time for the contract.

This pattern repeats itself throughout the project. And when the project is over those same herds will be able to exercise dirt cheap options on most of the suddenly prime real estate along the new rail line, probably with the money that ‘fell’ out of the project. I can’t tell you which individuals are behind it nor can I prove that they are anything worse than stupid. I can guarantee you that you can see them from your balcony.

Here is a list of the things that can be fixed with ‘best management practices’. It should save you several million bits.