John Sampson's Story

A day went by then I got a message to appear before Royal Court in the morning. I went at my now usual zero six hundred. The Throne Room was empty except for a Guardpony who told me that the Princess was waiting for me on the balcony. I knew the route so up I went.

Celestia was waiting. “Hello John Sampson. You told me that I could see the source of my problem from my balcony. I want to share that view with you. That cluster of large houses over there surrounded by the high black wall is it. The herds behind that proposal and a number of similar projects are all headquartered right there. They have a lot of names but their common face is Prince Blueblood. He’ll be in Court today to hear my refusal of their proposal. He is irritating and obnoxious but don’t underestimate him. He doesn’t get his own hooves dirty but he will direct those that do.

“Publicly these herds are the great philanthropists of Equestria. They ‘selflessly’ sponsor great works like bridges and railroads for the good of all. I have long known that after each great project their wealth and influence increases without obvious means. You have shown me the means. They are not going to love you for this. Expect dirty tricks and malicious rumors. They will do anything to discredit you because they will know that as long as you are my adviser, their income will be sharply reduced. Your biggest advantage will be your lack of a history. We know exactly when you began your life in Equestria. That will make it hard to dig up ‘witnesses’ to your previous ‘malfeasance’.

“You will stand next to my throne. I will ask you to speak if it is required. Do not reply to anything, even if directly addressed to you, by anypony other than me. I doubt this will take more than a few minutes. The reaction will come later, after he has received instructions from his superiors.

“Now, John, we have a few minutes. Tell me more about Twilight.”

“Celestia, I tried to simply discourage her but she is one very determined pony. I talked to Steel for a stallion’s point of view and he told me what an idiot I was for even thinking of turning her down. All she has to do is agree to give the foal my name as sire and my heritage and she can have the cover. But regarding her desire to join our band, I finally explained to her in blunt terms what life would be like for a heartbonded Alicorn and refused to allow her to be treated that way. We had a long hard cry afterwards.”

Celestia looked hard at me. “’We’, John?”

“We. I tried to be strong for her while she was there but the entire band cried ourselves to sleep that night in sympathy for her. She is and will always be a friend. She can sleep over, socialize, enjoy wild and crazy sex, go on adventures, whatever. She just has to leave before it becomes dangerous for her. I have misgivings about the risks but AJ and Swift are confident they can manage them. So I will leave mare matters to the mares.”

“I am very pleased, John. I want to thank you for taking care of my Twilight.

“The time for Court is approaching. Shall we go down and meet our ponies?”

It was interesting to see Court from the other side. We went across before we went down this time. That brought us into some offices on the same floor as the Throne Room. Celestia picked up her regalia and I was inspected. A Guardpony brought a list of everyone waiting for Audience. Celestia checked them off and issued instructions for a few of them.

Celestia turned my way, “You’re in luck, John. No ambassadors have shown up so Blueblood is first. You can leave as soon as he is dismissed. Or you can move to the spectators seats and watch the show. It’s a normal mixed lot today.”

We walked into the Throne Room and Celestia took Her Throne. I took my place at Her left and the doors opened. A white impeccably groomed Unicorn pranced in with a mildly drab entourage in tow.

He bowed in front of Celestia, “Good Morning Your Majesty. I believe you are ready to approve our grant proposal.”

This boy may have cornered the market on arrogance.

Celestia smiled sweetly at him, “Why of course, my dear Prince, just as soon as we have corrected some minor errors in the transcript that I received.”

“There were errors? I’ll have a clerk’s hide for this!” Blueblood looked annoyed.

Celestia was helpful, “Here’s a list of the errors,” floating an ornate copy of my list to him.

He caught it and held it in front of his eyes. And flipped a page. And flipped another page, scowling a little deeper with each page. Then he went all the way to the back page and looked at the number.

“That’s quite a list, Your Majesty. And I have to have my engineers sign off on some of these changes.”

Celestia is smiling even bigger now, “That’s not a problem, Prince. Take your time. In fact, my staff will be glad to proofread your amended proposal for you.”

He spun and charged for the door scattering his entourage.

Celestia dripped sweetness, “Have a nice day, Prince.”

I didn’t roll on the floor but I did make a note to stay on Celestia’s good side.

I stayed for a few of the following Audiences. Mostly they were regular merchant ponies getting approval for contracts to supply various goods and services to Royal agencies. After a while I left and went to the Colonel’s office to catch him up on recent developments.

Steel was in and waiting. After the door was closed, “Hello there John. How did this morning’s Audience go?”

“Did you know that Celestia has a dark side? She positively enjoyed tormenting Blueblood.”

Steel laughed, “Blueblood is directly related to Celestia, to about the same degree as a thousand other ponies. The difference is that he thinks it makes him Her equal and superior to everypony else. She despises him but needs to tolerate him as a handle on the Noble Herds.”

“Well, I just chopped down their money tree. They’ve been getting millions of bits in graft from each of their ‘philanthropies’ up until now. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last week, documenting how they steal. Celestia just handed him a list of ‘errors’ to be corrected. It won’t take them too long to connect all the inquiries into their properties and contracts to me. Life may get interesting after that.”

“You know I’ve got your back, John, but I can’t see them getting too rude with a Guard staffer. They can trash your public image but it won’t change a thing inside the Castle. Celestia will stand against it anyway. Any kind of physical attack would bring the entire Service herd down on them with a vengeance.”

“You’re warned and I’m alert. There’s not much else to do. I do have good news, though. The Twilight issue is fully resolved complete with Celestia’s blessing. She may visit and do anything but stay. The details are being handled by the mares.”

“That’s good, John. Shining will be here in three days anyway. Do you still need to see him?”

“Yes, I do. It’s just not quite as urgent now. And Steel, there’s something I have been wondering about. I know you are busy but you always seem to waiting for me to show up. How do you do it?”

“It’s horn, John. Why do you think so many administrators are Unicorns? Many of us have a talent for knowing when and where to be. It takes some training and development but you can see how it would be useful.”