Revelations - Matters of Madness and Other Poisons

The Previous Day

Ponyville was in a panic.  Colts and filles alike ran to and fro, pounding on doors and asking neighbors if they’d heard the news.  Twilight’s library, once a house of knowledge and hospitality, had been turned inside out by some unnamed culprit and was in serious need of reorganization.  But the studious purple mare was not busy cataloguing her inventory.  Instead she, like most of Ponyville, had gathered at Sweet Apple Acres to get a good view of the real damage that had been done.  A large crowd stood around the barn and the edge of the apple fields, the early morning sun reflecting off of their collective coats.

Dozens of apple trees had been stripped bare of their produce, a financial setback which would cost the Apple family dearly.  Inside the barn, Applejack stood with her brother Big Mac, their sister Applebloom, and Applejack’s five closest friends.  Twilight Sparkle and her friends did their best to comfort AJ, who pounded at the floor of the now empty barn fuming and crying in agony.

“It just ain’t fair!  Who in their right minds would come in here and take so much from us?  We ain’t never done wrong by nopony!”  She glanced around the bare walls with red eyes and gritted teeth.  “Ah’ just don’t understand.  Everypony knows we need our farm to survive.  It’s how we get by…”  She broke down in a fit of tears and gasping breaths.  Fluttershy hugged her tightly, allowing Applejack to lean into her and cry softly.  Rainbow Dash hovered into the air.

“Uh-uh, no way.  Nobody is gonna hurt my friends like this. Come on girls, we need to go find this thief so I can give em’ a piece of my mind!”  She started to take off, but felt the tug of Twilight’s magic pull her to the ground.

“Rainbow, please calm down,” Twilight pleaded, “We don’t even know who did this.”

Rarity sat next to Rainbow Dash.  “Twilight is right darling.  And even if we did know who was responsible there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to find him… or her.  This pony, or ponies, could be long gone by now!”

“Ah reckon they can’t be too far.”  Big Mac’s voice boomed throughout the barn, catching the attention of every pony present.  He surveyed the room for a few seconds, and then turned to the six mares.  “This no-good varmint stole our entire stock of farm tools and most of our produce.  And unless it was a group of unicorns each as powerful as Ms. Sparkle here, which is very unlikely, I’d say they’re still somewhere on the outskirts of town lugging our goods along with them.  If they ain’t still in Ponyville, I reckon they’re somewhere nearby.”

Twilight nodded.  “You’re right.  We may be dealing with a whole group of ponies.  If we hurry we may be able to catch them.  Wait here.”  Twilight disappeared in a flash of purple light, only to reappear seconds later with a checklist in her grasp and a very dizzy Spike at her side.  She pushed the checklist and a quill into Spike’s hands.  “Focus Spike, we need to organize a search party.  Everypony please gather round.”  Twilight stepped out of the barn and into the crowd that had gathered.  She called out names and assigned tasks to each group.  This group would search the apple fields, this one would check the school, this one the town hall, and so on in that fashion.  Once everybody had left to fulfill their duties, Twilight turned back to the small group in the barn.

“Now I need some information from Big Mac and Applejack.  Does your family have any strained relationships or unpleasant interactions with anybody?  Enemies?  Competing businesses?”

Applejack shook her head.  “Nah Twi, you know us.  We don’t have any issues with nopony.  Folks from across Equestria come to buy our apples, and I sure don’t think we have any competitors.”  Spike jotted all this down on the scroll as Applejack spoke.

“Can you not think of any reason someone would do this?  Any motives at all?”  Twilight asked.  Again Applejack shook her head.  Twilight’s brow scrunched in thought.  “Okay, so we have a thief of unknown identity and no known motives.  Can you give a rundown of what was stolen?”

This time Big Mac spoke up.  “Everything in the barn, which just means all our farm tools and equipment.  Nothing in the house was stolen though.”

Applejack’s eyes widened.  “You think someone is purposely trying tah sabotage our business??”

Pinkie gasped.  “Oh my gosh!  Who would do such a thing?!  The Apples are the nicest ponies in all of Equestria!  And everypony loves your apples, especially the zap apples, though those only come like once every year.  What’s up with that anyway?  I mean I know they’re super rare and all but don’t you save any throughout the year to sell later?  Zap apple jam is sooo tasty, especially when it’s served—”

“Pinkie!”  Twilight shouted.  Pinkie stuffed her hoof into her mouth midsentence.  “Thank you.  Now Applejack, though I hate to say it I have to admit all evidence points to a sabotage.  Somebody wants your business to fail, though for what reason I’m not sure.  Perhaps a new competitor is rising and they want to take you out of the market as a precaution.”

Everyone in the barn gasped.  A competitor in the apple business?  But why would they want to steal from the Apples?  Couldn’t some sort of cooperative deal be worked out?

“But why would somepony want to steal from us?”  Applejack asked.  “Couldn’t some sort of cooperative deal be worked out?”

Twilight shook her head.  “I won’t attempt to understand the thought process of a thief.  All we know is someone is out to get you.  Your business won’t be safe until the culprit, or culprits, are apprehended.”

There was an awkward silence as everybody considered the prospect of a new thieving apple competitor.  “So then what do we do?”  Fluttershy spoke up timidly.

Every pony present looked to Twilight, who shrugged.  “For now, we help the others.  We need to check every nook and cranny in Ponyville.  Once we’re certain the town is secure we can look into the surrounding area.”

With that, the group left the barn and headed into Ponyville to help search for the unnamed culprit.  Applejack and her siblings helped the group searching the apple fields.  Rainbow Dash took to the skies, leading a group of pegasi as they scanned the perimeter of Ponyville.  Twilight and Pinkie Pie went back to Twilight’s library, hoping to find clues in the mess the thief had left behind.  Since Fluttershy lived near the Everfree Forest, she was entrusted with checking the edge of the forest for clues.  Venturing into the forest was out of the question due to the dangers within, but Twilight believed anypony hiding out in its depths would leave clues near the edge of the forest.  Rarity accompanied Fluttershy, knowing the yellow pegasus would be too frightened to complete the task without someone near her, and Spike insisted on tagging along “for safety reasons”.

Much of the day was spent hopelessly searching for clues with virtually no leads whatsoever.  Nopony had seen the robbery in action, and the culprit hadn’t left any evidence as to who they were or what they wanted.  Twilight sat in her library, flipping through and categorizing the mess of books strewn about the floor.  She took note of anything that was missing or out of place, and Pinkie wrote down her findings on a scroll.   Once all the books were back in their proper places on the shelves, she sat next to Pinkie and examined the scroll.

“Okay, so it appears I’m missing a handful of books.  Quantum Mechanical Structures of Biochemistry, Pony Anatomy – Biomedical Applications, All Things Science for Dummies, Higher Level Differential Equations in Multiple Dimensions… I don’t get it, was the thief a doctor?”

Pinkie pointed to the bottom of the scroll.  “Don’t forget Electrical Engineering – A Comprehensive Guide!  Aww this thief likes science-y books almost as much as you Twilight.”

“Yes but this is a library.  All they had to do was come in here and ask for the books.  There must be a reason they stole these books in particular... Wait what’s that!”  Her hoof brought Pinkie’s attention to another title hastily scrawled at the bottom of the page.

“Oh you said that one kind of fast, I only got the first part: The Mare in the Moon-“

“Nightmare Moon’s Banishment.”  Twilight finished.  “Why would anypony want to read that?  It’s just a small text on basic Equestrian history that’s common knowledge to most every filly and colt.”  She brought her forehooves to her head and rubbed her temples vigorously.  “Whoever this thief is they sure have us fooled.  Stealing apples and books on quantum theory just doesn’t add up.”

“Unless they’re using the apples to do the adding!”  Pinkie Pie shouted victoriously.  Twilight just groaned.

Meanwhile, Rarity, Spike, and a very shaky Fluttershy made their way around the edge of the Everfree Forest.  Fluttershy’s bunny Angel sat upon her back, arms crossed and brow furrowed in obvious impatience.  After scouting the trees near Fluttershy’s cottage, the group had begun walking the entire length of the forest that bordered Ponyville.  Hours past with nothing to show for it other than sore hooves and the occasional splinter.  As the sun began to lower past the horizon, Rarity released a small sigh.

“Can we go home now?  We’ve been walking for hours, and I’m afraid all this sweating may be bad for my complexion.”

Spike nodded in agreement.  “I think we should go too.  This place gives me the creeps.”

Fluttershy, though the most frightened of them all, continued forward.  “Twilight trusted us to look for clues.  If somepony thinks they can rob my friends…” she gulped, “then they have another thing coming.  Right?”

Rarity smiled at her friend.  “You’re right darling.  Oh Fluttershy, sometimes you do surprise me with your tenacity.  Very well!  Come along then, we want to be finished before sundown.”

As they trotted away, Angel hopped down from Fluttershy’s back and began tapping his foot on the ground furiously.  Fluttershy turned back to him.  “Angel bunny, we need to go before sundown.”  Angel stood his ground, arms crossed and eyes glaring as he pounded at the floor.  Spike, his patience worn, took charge.

“Look dude, I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t want to hang around this forest for long.  So let’s,” he picked a rather angry and squirmy Angel off the ground, “go!”

And with that, the group made the trek back to Fluttershy’s cottage, completely ignoring the large wagon tracks imprinted in the ground that Angel so clearly saw.

Back in Twilight’s library, the group of six friends sat in a circle and presented their findings.  Needless to say, the results were minimal.  Rainbow Dash and her group had thought they’d seen an unidentified pegasus making a break for it towards the Badlands and ended up following a cloud halfway through Equestria.  Applejack and her family had spent so long searching through the orchard that even she began to grow sick of the sight of a bright red apple.  Fluttershy was ashamed to report nothing of interest while Spike took Rarity into the bathroom to help her remove a large splinter she’d gotten during their trek.  As Twilight listened to each of her friends relate their observations, she made notes on an empty scroll, placing it down on top of the reports prepared by other Ponyville residents once she finished.  She huffed.

“Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  The entire town has spent all day looking for clues and we’ve come up with nothing!” She threw herself onto her back dramatically.  “It just doesn’t make any sense!”

Fluttershy spoke up.  “Um, to be fair, we didn’t exactly go into the forest to look for the thief.  Maybe they’re in there?”

Twilight sat up, shaking her head.  “You said there was nothing of interest near the edge of the forest.  And you aren’t the only group I had searching for clues there.  No, if somepony had entered the forest, they would have left a sign.”

At this, Angel, who sat on Fluttershy’s back, hopped off and began bouncing up and down furiously.  “What’s wrong with him?”  Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting this way since we were near the Everfree.”  Fluttershy attempted to nuzzle the frustrated bunny, but he just shoved her face away and continued throwing a tantrum.  Spike and Rarity walked back into the room as Angel began kicking at Fluttershy in frustration.

“Oh not this again,” Spike groaned.  “Fluttershy no offense, but I think putting up with that little guy isn’t worth the effort.

“He usually doesn’t act this way,” Fluttershy attempted to explain even as Angel began pulling at her hair.  “Maybe he just needs some rest; we’ve both had a long day.  I’ll see you girls tomorrow.”  And with that, she scooped up the angry bunny and made for home.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to be going too darling.”  Rarity said to nopony in particular.  “This thief has made such an absolute mess of things, and I could really go for a nice trip to the spa.  Ta-ta for now~!”

“I don’t know about a spa treatment, but a nap sure does sound nice right about now.  See ya Twi.”  Rainbow Dash said as she zipped off.

One by one they all left, leaving Spike and Twilight alone in the library.  Twilight lay her head in her forehooves, and Spike sat next to the deflated mare.

“You alright Twilight?  Want me to get you some tea or something?”

“No thanks Spike.  I just need some time to think.”

Spike nodded.  He knew that whenever the studious mare had some conundrum or another on her mind, it was best to leave her alone until she worked it out.  He hobbled upstairs, sore from an entire day of walking on twigs and various bits of forest litter.  Twilight, however, pulled herself up and plopped herself next to her writing desk.  Her horn sparked to life, beckoning a scroll, quills, and jars of ink to her desk.  She dipped the quill in the ink and looked out the window.  By now, the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, and it would only be a few more minutes until the moon peeked from behind the mountains.  Twilight took a small breath to steady herself and began to put her thoughts onto paper:

To my BBBFF,

It’s been some time since I’ve heard from you.  I guess that’s to be expected, considering you’ve finally managed to climb the ranks to Captain of the Royal Guard.  I’m so proud of you, and I don’t think I can tell you that enough.  You always dreamed of being the stallion you are now, and you had the strength of mind and body to make that dream a reality.  What am I saying?  You still have that fortitude – it’s just one of your many wonderful qualities.  You’re always willing to use your strength for the betterment of others and society itself.  In fact, I’ve come to rely on your aid and love throughout the years.  And it’s for this reason that I write to you today.

Strange things are happening here Shining, things that I cannot explain.  No, I’m not talking about Nightmare Moon’s return, although it has only been a few days since that whole incident…  As much as I hate to say it, I fear something much worse is threatening to rear its ugly head.  And to be honest, I don’t know if I’m ready for it.

My friend Applejack has been robbed.  She’s the farmpony on Sweet Apple Acres if you don’t remember.  And this wasn’t a petty robbery mind you – this was something far more sinister.  The thief, or thieves, stole her entire inventory of farm equipment.  Everything from shovels to saddles to sandpaper, and to make matters worse a large quantity of her trees were stripped bare!  I don’t know what to think Shining; I’m scared.  Someone or something is out there, waiting for just the right moment to strike.

I need you now more than ever.  Please, if you know of any strange happenings around Equestria you must let me know.  This theft is something much more than a new apple competitor.  I just know it.

With love, your sister,

Twilight Sparkle

Twilight lay down her quill and capped her ink.  She read over the letter once more, checking to make sure all she needed to say was said.  Satisfied, she rolled up and bounded the letter, setting it aside for Spike to send in the morning.  For now, all she wanted to do was rest.

Twilight climbed the steps to her room.  She carefully stepped around the sleeping dragon already curled up in his bed, and lay herself onto her sheets.  Moonlight shone upon her face, and as she stared out the window she couldn’t swallow the feeling of dread lodged in her throat.  She knew something bad was about to happen.

What she didn’t know was that during that very night, Viktor Splice was busy raiding and destroying the Canterlot Laboratories.  In a few hours he would be standing at the head of a convoy of stolen equipment, riding through the underground tunnels of Equestria without a care in the world.  He would emerge unscathed in the heart of the Everfree Forest, mane rustling in the wind and manic laughter ringing out for miles around:  “Ahahahaha!”  He shouts.  “Soon I shall have my reve-*cough cough* ack ah!  Fucking bugs…”

Later That Night

Much of the Everfree Forest remained quiet, the only exceptions being the occasional nocturnal predator and the laboratory of one Viktor Splice.  Now fixated with two access-control paneled doors and a nice set of barred windows, the lab served as a beacon in the dead of night.  A bright yellow glow emanated from the light fixtures in the second story, illuminating the surrounding area.  Inside a deranged unicorn applied the finishing touches to his new layout, making sure everything was just so.

“Welcome home ladies!  It’s good to have all my favorite equipment back,” Viktor said as he polished a large incubator.  “And I’m always happy to accept a few more additions,” he cooed towards a large computer sitting at the center of the room.  Wires ran up the walls and across the roof, making the entire lab appear more like the nest of a black widow.  Viktor darted to and fro, plugging in his new machinery to the electrical mainframe running about his house and setting up new equipment on the various tables now aligned along the walls.  Using his magic, he shoved a thick wad of wires into the wall and down towards the fruit cellar, which now contained a multitude of generators as well as apples.  He had enough energy to last for months or even years, but he knew that was no reason to slack.  Viktor Splice had work to do.

Once he was certain everything was up and running, Viktor trotted downstairs to the first floor of his lab.  This room was cluttered even more than his second floor.  Random bits of farm equipment lay scattered about.  Wooden planks, metallic sheets, glass panes, shovels, and even a large yoke sat in a large overstocked pile.  Viktor magically sorted through the pile, looking for bits that could be used for what he had in mind.  Metal metal metal, anything metal.  Oh this glass looks nice.  Ooo, and are these electrical cables?  Well don’t mind if I do…  He trotted back upstairs, followed by a plethora of floating resources.  Setting them on the floor next to him, he turned his attention to the four stolen machines that served him no purpose whatsoever.  Splice glanced over the large hunks of metal with a look of distaste.  Seriously, steam power is so outdated, why would they even have this?  And what’s the purpose of a computer system that predicts weather conditions WHEN WEATHER IS CONTROLLED BY PONIES??  I swear some people… Oh and is this used to predict tectonic activity?  That’s cute.  The only earthquakes from here on out will be the ones I bring to Celestia’s doorstep.  And what is th… he stopped midthought.  In front of him sat a very queer-looking spherical object supported by two large metallic beams.  Viktor pried open the machine with his magic, and was surprised when he found himself in the presence of degraded radioactive material. What the-?  Inspecting the machine’s structure more closely, he suddenly came to a startling revelation.  Oh dear, they’re actually attempting to understand nuclear fusion!  Ha, if I wasn’t so amused by the exceedingly small atomic sample used in this chamber I’d be more amused by the exceedingly small brains of the idiots who built this machine!  They’d be lucky to power a potato with this thing.

Shaking his head in amusement, Splice got to work taking apart the useless tools in front of him.  He nonchalantly chucked the radioactive material out the window and sent it flying somewhere into the Everfree Forest.  Out of sight, out of mind.

Next, he brought over a pile of metal, glass, and wires to a secluded corner of the room.  For the next few hours he welded, nailed, and aligned the various parts together, paying careful attention to the symmetry of the entire structure.  The night slowly crept away, eventually giving way to the morning.  But Splice took no notice of the passage of time.  Even when the sun rose and set again, and again, and again and again, Splice continued to work.  Days passed without as much as a blink of an eye from him.  And as the sun began to climb the tops of the distant mountains several days later, Splice sat back to admire his work.  Large tubes hung from a hole in the ceiling, bringing along with it a mess of wires that protruded from the dark depths of the walls.  These tubes were fixed to the top of a large glass cylinder.  This glass tube was filled with a smooth liquid gel, something Viktor had whipped up in a large vat at the other end of the room.  However, only the body of the cylinder itself was glass – the top and bottom faces were both metallic caps that connected the tube to the wires above and held it in place on the ground below.  The bottom cap was much larger and stockier than the top, and it served as the main control panel for the machine.  Light emanated from the various bulbs and computer screens on its face, and a multitude of figures and numbers ran across the screens as the machine ran startup-diagnostics.  Knobs, switches, and a large variety of other buttons adorned the front of the machine, and a small desk-like structure just underneath the computer screens projected from it.  Upon this sat a keyboard and small openings into the machine’s entrails.  These openings were designed to be test chambers, spaces in which to insert vials or petri-dishes containing organic material for analysis.  The whole of the machine produced a soft glow and a low hum, something Splice found extremely satisfying.  The doctor leaned back and grinned widely at his completed work – he was now ready to create a lab assistant.

Viktor sauntered over to a nearby table piled high with biochemical research equipment.  He flipped open his newly obtained reference book on pony anatomy and began reviewing material he already knew.

“Alrighty let’s see.  In order to do this I need to take a sample of pre-constructed genetic material and, by submersing it in an organic base rich with nutrients, reach viable stability.  All I would need then is a controlled release of energy into the cellular matrix and… I should achieve procreation.”  He smiled.  Curious, he pulled a few test tubes and various chemicals towards him.  Using a pair of shears, he pulled a leaf off of a plant hanging from the window above him.  He tossed the leaf into a dish along with various reagents and got to work.  After a few minutes he had a nice row of various organic samples to test.  He poured a few more solutions into the first dish and brought it over to his new machine.  Placing it into the test chamber, he flipped a few switches, turned a few knobs, and the machine came to life.

Inside the chamber a pedestal rose upwards through the liquid gel.  On top of the pedestal sat an airtight glass container, and inside the container was the petri-dish containing Viktor’s prepared plant sample.  A few wires snaked downward from the top of the tube and attached themselves to the glass container.  Once the computer screen finished the necessary procedures, Viktor pressed the large red button and hoped for the best.

The entire lab dimmed as the plant petri-dish was shocked with thousands of volts of electricity.  The metallic tubes within the chamber flashed rapidly with yellow and blue sparks, and the liquid gel began to vibrate against the glass container from the shear amount of energy it withheld.  Within seconds the organic material burst to life, and Viktor watched the wonders of cellular mitosis and differentiation occur within only a few moments.  A small stalk rose from the petri-dish, and a tiny ding sounded as the electric surges came to a stop.  The light fixtures in the lab came to life once more, and the metallic tubes within the container returned to their rightful place as the pedestal lowered into the depths of the machine.  Low hums and small clicks could be heard as further processing took place.  Waves of data washed over the computer screens, performing final calculations and calibrations to ensure success.  Finally, a large panel on the side of the machine popped open.  A flat panel extended outward, upon which sat the new sapling, and the words “CLONING COMPLETE” flashed green on every computer screen.

Splice levitated the plant up to eye level and stared at it.  His lips moved as he silently muttered to himself for a few seconds, and then he shut his eyes and inhaled deeply.  He was happy the cloning process was a success, but he still had one major problem: the clone needed to grow.

Setting the plant on the windowsill alongside its doppelganger, Viktor made his way towards the pile of unused parts still sitting in the center of the room.  “Okay okay, so I can create an exact copy of a plant.  But I need to copy myself.  And if I’m not mistaken, pony structures are much more complicated than those of a plant.  And then there’s this problem with growth.  I need to accelerate it… all of it.  Physical growth, mental growth… hmmm.”  He looked at the pile in front of him.  There still remained a large proportion of metallic pieces and other electrical components.  All he needed was the innovation to make his imagination a reality.

“A challenge eh?”  A dark purple glow surrounded the remaining material and dropped it next to the cloning machine.  “I love a challenge…”

Viktor whiled away another few days on this new project, and it wasn’t until the sun sat at its zenith for the umpteenth time that he had the chance to breathe.  When he finally finished, he had a brand new toy sitting next to his cloning device.  This creation had the uncanny shape of the gallows – one tall vertical beam standing upright and a horizontal beam jutting out from its top.  But instead of wood, this device was constructed from a finely polished silver-colored metal.  And rather than a noose trailing down from its metallic arm, a titanium hat hanging from a bundle of wires and cables swung in the air.  A similar hat and set of cables sat upon the floor, awaiting later usage by the doctor.  Under the “noose” and connected to the rest of the machine at its base lay a large metal sheet that served as a bed – a bed complete with straps and chains to hold the limbs of whatever unlucky bastard found himself strapped to the horrifying machine.  Viktor wheeled over a large computer sitting atop a moveable table and plugged this into the base of the machine.  He clacked away at the keyboard, creating and compiling new programming for this experiment to work.  Once the programming was complete, Viktor picked up the spare hat from the floor and plugged its wiring into the computer.  The screen flashed “READY TO BEGIN DATA TRANSFER” in bright blue letters, and despite exhaustion, dehydration and daunting hunger from over a week of straight mechanics, Viktor experienced a renewed sense of giddiness at the prospect of performing some true, hardcore science.

The time is now.  The stage is set.  This is my performance.  I have nothing to fear.  I have nothing to worry about.  “I have nothing to clone.”  Viktor thought aloud to himself.

The doctor had come this far but hadn’t considered what part of his body he would remove to actually being the process.  His mane and tail were out of the question; they were far too luxurious and belonged upon his body.  The same went for every bit of fur covering his figure.  And he held himself in too high a regard to consider removing bits of flesh.  Viktor was puzzled.  He levitated a small petri-dish up to his face and stared into it as he considered his options.

After a few seconds he snorted loudly and hacked up a storm.  Then he spit in it.

“Yeah that should do it.”

Viktor set his frothy dish onto the table and looked through his reference books.  Preparing a sample of unicorn genetic material would be much more difficult than plant preparation.  First off, unicorn genomic structure was much lengthier than a plant’s, and he would need time to correctly separate it from the rest of the cell.  Secondly, none of the books seemed to understand how the sections of DNA that gave unicorns their magic powers actually worked.  It was a mystery waiting to be resolved – a mystery Viktor had neither time nor knowledge to solve.  Splice gathered up a few materials and, through the wonders of genetic splicing, got to work removing the magical sections of his DNA and preparing the rest for cloning.

He trotted over to the cloning device and shoved his prepared cell culture into the slot.  A few beeps and boops later and the machine sprang to life once more.

This time, once the glass chamber rose and the wires lowered, the lights in the lab completely shut off due to the massive amounts of energy being used by the machine.  Electrical discharges flashed erratically from within, causing Viktor’s fur to stand on end and his pupils to dilate.  He could see the cell culture squirm and wiggle under the life-force being pumped into it.  It bubbled, spilling over the sides of the dish as the cells amassed into something beautiful.  Slowly but surely a small embryo formed inside the chamber.  It fell out of the petri-dish and convulsed as its features took on a more equine appearance.  Small eyes dotted its face, and the flesh on its torso stretched outward to form four limbs.  Ears popped up on each side of its head.  A small mouth opened in silent protest at being thrust into the world so spontaneously.  The fetus progressed past the stage of normal birth, and through the flashing lights and bubbling gel Viktor could see a mane and tail protrude from its ends.  Its figure was dark, silhouetted by the electricity surging into its body.  The small Splice-copy rolled left and right, obviously discontent with its sudden arrival into the world, and the cloning machine powered off once more.  As the glass container lowered into the depths of the machine, Viktor couldn’t get a good glimpse of his clone past the bubbling liquid within.  He darted to the side panel and fidgeted in place, eager to see his newborn self.

Light returned to the lab once more.  Data flashed onto the computer screens.  Whirs and clicks chimed from within, and a low guttural growl grew in Viktor’s throat as his patience wore thin.  Suddenly a blaring alarm sounded from the machine, and in bright red letters the words “CLONING ERROR” appeared on every screen.  The side panel sprung open, and his clone was presented to him amidst a cloud of steam.

Viktor’s eyes widened as he gazed upon his “clone”.  Its form matched his fairly well – perfect facial structure, same mane and tail, similar cranial shape.  His flank was bare of any cute markings, but that was to be expected.  Cutie marks had to be earned, not created.  And as for race, Viktor was ashamed to admit his inability to recreate unicorn DNA and had to deal with having an Earth pony clone.  All of this Splice could learn to live with.  However, now that Viktor could actually see his clone, he knew he’d made a much bigger mistake.  Viktor’s coat was a dark charcoal color, and his mane and tail were patterned with blue and silver stripes.  His clone retained this same color palette, but the placement of each color was off.  Rather than having a gray coat, his clone’s fur was the color of the silver in Viktor’s tail.  And though his clone had blue stripes as well, the alternating stripes were charcoal rather than silver.  Somehow Viktor had gotten the genetic structure for fur color and mane color flipped, creating the imperfection before him.

Splice sighed.  It’s fine..  A simple translocation of DNA coding for hair color.  That’s nothing too drastic.  As long as that’s the only thing wrong with him…

Viktor levitated his sleeping clone to the second machine and lay him down onto the operating table.  Straps whipped across his body, holding him in place, and Viktor lowered the titanium hat hanging above onto the clone’s head.  He then sat down in front of the computer and began typing as he took off his beret and placed the second hat upon his own head.

“So first off, I wanna say welcome to the world!  I know you can’t understand me right now, seeing as how your primary task is to breathe oxygen and whatnot, but I’m very excited that you’re here.  Right now you’re kind of useless to me. I mean what good is a lab assistant that can’t even feed himself?  Don’t worry though, this baby’ll get you up to speed.”  He patted the side of the computer.  “Then we can kick some celestial ass together!  Now, I’m going to beef you up just enough to be mobile, but not enough to overpower me.  We want others to know who’s in charge don’t we?  And as for your current mental capacities… well let’s just say it’s an empty case waiting to be filled, eh?”

Viktor entered some final figures into the machine and pulled the switch.  It felt as though a small tickle of water were running up the base of his neck and towards the back of his head.  He felt his scalp prickle, and the top of his skull began to vibrate slowly.  Well this isn’t too ba— suddenly a surge of electrical energy shot downward from the hat into his skull and down throughout his body.  Viktor lost control of his body and flopped backward onto the floor, limbs flailing about and eyes spinning in their sockets.  The computer gathered every bit of useful data from within Viktor’s mind and sorted through it infinitely fast.  Then the process halted just as quickly as it began.  Viktor sat upright and removed the hat – smoke rising from his splayed mess of hair.

“WOW WHAT THE FUCK.”  He exclaimed.  Viktor pulled on his beret, head shaking, and clacked away at the computer once more.  Once the files ready for transport he glanced over to his clone.  “This may sting.”  He said as he pulled the lever.

His clone shook violently as the machine went to work.  Physically, he changed from a newborn baby into a young colt, complete with stubby legs and an adorably oversized head.  Mentally though, he changed in ways even Viktor couldn’t predict.

The computer pumped file after file of information into the developing pony’s brain, emptying lifetimes of knowledge into his mind within a matter of minutes.  Every fact, relation, and idea Splice had formed over his years as a scientific researcher – minus his personal memories of course, those were for him and him alone – found their way into the unprepared brain of his clone.  So within the span of a few minutes, that poor unsuspecting soul was forced to adapt to the new wave of information and develop some sort of moral guideline based off of it.  It was left up to him to analyze the data and infer what implications it all had to him and how he lived his life.  And what is even more unbelievable is that he did just that.  Opposing all statistical probability, Viktor’s clone managed to take in the massive quantity of new information and develop the most outstanding moral guideline known to ponykind.

Silence.  That’s all that was left once the machine had powered off and Viktor’s clone had been unstrapped from the table.  He just lay there, eyes shut and unmoving.  Splice began to wonder if he’d failed, if his clone’s small body had been unable to handle such stress after birth and had died as a result.  He leaned forward to check its heart rate, but just then his clone’s head jerked upward and his eyes flashed open as a blood-curdling scream erupted from his throat.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

“Hey!  Hey!  Shut up!  Stop it you’re fine!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

“Clone what’re you doing??  I demand you to stop!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

“SHUT UP JEAN!”

The young colt shut his mouth and gazed at Viktor with wide eyes.  Wide, aquamarine eyes.  Viktor’s train of thought came to a halt.  Not only had he failed to replicate his fur color, mane color, unicorn horn, and cutie mark, but he had even produced the incorrect eye color.  Do you know how many genes work collaboratively to create eye color?  Viktor knew.  And it was a lot.

Viktor’s clone continued to stare at him, and his mouth opened and shut as he tried to make heads or tails of the situation.  Fortunately, the doctor regained his composure first.

“I’m sorry for yelling.  Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Viktor Splice, creative genius extraordinaire and leader of the Equestrian Scientific Revolution.  Your name is Jean Splice.  You are my clone and I am your creator.  Welcome to Equestria!”  He held out his arms dramatically, beckoning the young clone to take in his surroundings.

Jean blinked a few times, jaw hanging open in awe.  He looked left, then right, drinking in the new sights and sounds about him. Finally he stuck out his front hoof in greeting and responded in a small voice.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, me.”

Viktor laughed and shook his outstretched hoof vigorously.  “Yes indeed it is.  Come Jean!  Allow me to show you the ropes.”

By now the sun had past its highest point in the sky and nearly reached the horizon once more.  Viktor spent the rest of the day taking Jean on a tour of the lab.  Much to his credit, the young colt knew his stuff.  He could easily differentiate between each piece of equipment and understood their function and purpose.  But he didn’t have the same level of enthusiasm that Viktor did for good old-fashion science.  Jean only raised an eyebrow while Viktor drooled over a neurotoxin chamber, and he seemed even less amused when Viktor explained to him how the cloning process had worked.  But Dr. Splice took no notice – he was ecstatic.  Finally here was somepony who understood him, and it was him!  Celestia wouldn’t stand a chance with the doctor and his somewhat-genetically-identical self running rampant, right?

The sun dipped below the mountains when the tour finally came to an end.  Viktor sat in the middle of his second-floor lab, a big goofy grin plastered on his face.  Jean sat directly across from him and looked at the doctor in a quizzical fashion.

“Well!”  Viktor said.  “That concludes our tour of the lab.  I’m sure you have questions Jean, so please, let me know what’s on your mind.  I’ll do my best to answer them for you.”

Jean sat still and gazed about the room.  It was apparent Viktor had put plenty of effort into this plan – stealing from Canterlot Laboratories, making a clone, seeking “revenge” on the Princess of the Sun for some unknown misdeed.  His creator had intended Jean to be his bread and butter, making it much more difficult for Jean to say what he had to say next.

“Well…” he began.  Viktor leaned closer, still smiling, while Jean rubbed his arm nervously.  “I uh, I really like what you’ve done with the place.  And it seems you’ve got this whole ‘kill Celestia’ thing worked out.  But, and hear me out, I was just thinking that maybe, it isn’t such a good idea?”

Viktor stopped smiling.  Jean gulped and continued.  “I mean neurotoxins?  Creating life from your spit?  Nuclear fusion?  Which may I add is a power found within Celestia’s sun and should remain there and nowhere else.  I just think that… what you’re doing is disrespectful to our all-knowing and benevolent ruler.  She is the immortal being that controls this land – she’s essentially God.  And it’s my opinion that… your never-ending desire for knowledge and destruction goes against Her will.  And that’s… well, blasphemous.  You know?”

If Viktor could process what had just occurred he would have done much more than simply sit there and stare at Jean like some slack-jawed moron.  He tried to speak but nothing came out.  Jean grinned sheepishly.

Suddenly a bright light erupted from Jean’s flank, causing him to yelp and jump up in alarm.  When he looked back he was greeted with an image of Celestia raising the sun materializing on his flank.  His eyes widened and a grin spread across his cheeks – he had just earned his cutie mark!

“Viktor!  Viktor!  Do you realize what this means??  My one special talent is to forever serve our wonderful leader Princess Celestia and spread the word of her greatness throughout the lands!”

That did it.  Something snapped in Viktor’s mind.  Snarling and frothing like a mad-dog, Viktor picked up the nearest table and chucked it with all his might at the cloning device, shattering it and leaking gelatinous goo all over the lab floor.  His scream echoed into the nighttime forest air:

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"