Revelations - Matters of Madness and Other Poisons

Two ponies, one a devious doctor with a dilapidated sense of reality and the other his innocent clone, wandered through the darkness of the Everfree Forest.  It seemed like the start of a bad joke.  One you tell at a cocktail party after the butler has just been arrested for murder and you’re trying to re-lighten the mood.  But this was anything but a joke - except maybe to Viktor Splice.  He trotted along to the beat in his own head, bouncing up and down over the leaf litter and grime.  The magical containment unit, glowing orange with the energy pulsating through it, hung from his neck by the strap connected to it and bounced along with him.

Jean cantered beside Viktor.  He was frightened by the Everfree, that much he knew.  The cold shadows consumed him, draining him of his cheery attitude and replacing it with pure, unrestrained fear.  He bolted forward and stopped, whirling around to face Viktor.

“Okay Viktor, enough of the mystery.  What are we doing? Why are we here?”  His breathing came in short spurts, and his eyes darted about the forest warily.  Viktor eyed his clone up and down, taking note of his nervousness.  He smiled and continued walking forward.

“Ah young, impressionable Drog.  Does the forest upset you?  I don’t know why it would – you live in it!  The Everfree Forest is one of the most interesting locations in Equestria.  It doesn’t answer to the whims of ponies like the rest of the Equestrian landscape.  Instead, the Everfree Forest is its own master, continually growing and changing with no regard for the convenience of others.  Its depths have plagued the minds of scientists for centuries, driving those who attempt to study it insane, turning them into the very beasts they spend their lives observing.”  He stopped in front of a large-leafed plant ripe with pink fruit, taking a deep whiff of its contents.  Curious, Jean stepped forward and sniffed it delicately.  His snout made contact with the green leaves, and instantly a sharp stinging bite tore at his skin.  He yelped as his nasal passages were seared internally.  Viktor laughed, using his magic to remove the leaves and deposit them into his saddlebags.

“Dendrocnide moroides, otherwise known as Moonlighter.  Its leaves are covered in small hairs that stick to the victim and deliver a wonderfully painful neurotoxin.”  He looked down at Jean, who rolled around on the floor and cried in agony.  Viktor used his magic to take out the sharp slivers that had embedded themselves in Jean’s skin and sat the young colt upright.  His snout was bright red where he had been stabbed.  Viktor shook his head.

“Come on Drog you should know this, you’re my clone for crying out loud.”  He tenderly rubbed Jean’s face with a hoof.  The young colt looked up at Viktor with wide, watery eyes.

“Awwhh poor baby,” Viktor said.  He then smacked Jean upside the head, growling as he did so.  “Come on, snap out of it.  We’ve got work to do.”

Rubbing his snout, Jean glared at his creator.  “Jackass,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that!”

The two of them continued to venture deeper into the forest.  There was no path, no guide, no detectable marker that could lead them back to the safety of the lab once they were finished with this little mission.  But even so, Viktor continued forward, and Jean continued to tail behind him.

“You still didn’t answer my question.  What are we doing here?”

“You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”

“I guess I get it from you.”

“Mmm yes, my scientific inquisitiveness.  It’s great that you inherit one useful aspect of myself and yet still find a way to annoy me with it.  Do you really want to know where we’re going?”  He turned to face Jean, who returned his steely gaze.  “We’re going to find a Phoenix.  Why exactly is for me to know and you to find out, but if it succeeds, I’ll finally have what I want.”  He continued walking, leaving Jean hanging on his speech.

Jean took the bait.  “And what exactly is that?”

Viktor sighed.  “A return to normalcy.”

Later that night, the unlikely pair set up camp in the midst of a small clearing.  Mushrooms roasted on an open fire, and two sleeping bags lay separated by a pony’s breadth.  Viktor sat with a small notebook propped open in front of him.  Various jars surrounded him, each containing a different plant, fungus, or smaller life form he had gathered for further study, and he jotted down notes with a small quill held in his telekinetic grasp.  Jean eyed him curiously as he straightened out his own sleeping bag.  Viktor had a smile plastered on his face – not a malicious smile, but one reflecting true unbridled happiness.  Like a child unwrapping his very first present on Hearth’s Warming Eve.  It was fucking weird.

“What are you so happy about?”  Jean asked as he lay down to rest.

Viktor  jotted some final observations down before setting his quill to the side.  He looked at Jean, whose confusion sat plain as day upon his face.  Splice laughed.

“What?  Am I not allowed to be happy?”

“Well no it’s just, you usually aren’t.”

“To be fair Drog, you haven’t known me very long.  I admit I let my anger get the better of me at times, but there are moments when I’m happy.”  He gestured towards the preservation jars around him.  “Working is one of them.”

Jean eyed Viktor deliberately.  “And what exactly is ‘working’ to you?  Planning Celestia’s demise?”

“It’s much more than that boy.  There was a time when I didn’t want that bitch dead, and I loved working then almost as much as I do now.”  As he spoke he gathered up the jars in his hooves and organized them into his saddlebags.  “My love for science is something much simpler.  It’s a love of the work itself.  A love of analyzation and observation.  The best discoveries are those that are made when there is no intention to find them.”  He laid a hoof on Jean’s back, an act that could almost be mistaken for one of compassion.  “Sometimes you rattle the cages just to hear them sing.”

Jean’s gaze considered Viktor in his entirety.  He sensed something in his creator, something besides the homicidal and demented.  “What happened to you Viktor?”

Laughter rang throughout the clearing.  “You mean recently?  Well you did, you little fuck-up.”  Jean frowned - okay maybe there wasn’t anything more to Viktor.

Sparks rose steadily from the fire.  Crackles of light that danced an ephemeral dance on the stifling nighttime air.  Jean watched them rise and fall, twisting around each other until they blinked out of existence.  Maybe it wasn’t the best camping experience a young foal could have.  Maybe it wasn’t the best family a young foal could have.  Maybe it wasn’t anything special, sitting in a clearing with your devious creator planning something… well devious.  But to Jean, it was all he had, all he ever knew.  Half a month of living, and all he knew of were apples and pain.  He reached upward, pulling the red fez off his head, and held it in front of him to examine more closely.  It was a dark crimson, about the same color as blood, with a long black cord protruding from its peak.  It wasn’t anything special, just a freak accident that flew into the air and landed upon his head.  But he loved it.  That rigid cylindrical structure connected Jean to the only sanity he knew in this world: Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.  Three ponies he’d gladly call friends, and three ponies who accepted him for what he was rather than rejecting him for what he might be.  His fez let him know they were out there somewhere, hopefully happy and well.  Plus, if he was remembering correctly, the fez had a religious aspect to it.  That was something he could wear with pride.

A loud snoring sound reached Jean’s ears, and he turned to see Viktor sprawled out upon his sleeping bag, hat and glasses hanging precariously off his face.  The unicorn lay on his back, and drool oozed out of his open mouth as he snored.  His teeth, all sharpened to a point, shone brightly in the firelight.  It was peculiar, a pony with sharp teeth.  Jean knew it wasn’t natural – after all, ponies were herbivores, not meat-eaters.  Though I wouldn’t put it past Viktor to eat flesh…  The more Jean stared the more he wondered.  Why the sharp teeth?  Was it a mutated abnormality?  If so, why didn’t he have it?  Did Viktor do it to himself, or did somepony else do it to him?  So many questions to be answered, and considering them just created more.

Why the need for murder?  Why all the observing and scheming and destroying?  What does he want?  The never-ending string of questions swirled about in Jean’s head, circling one another until he became dizzy from just thinking of it.

A loud snap from beyond the line of trees caught Jean’s attention.  He shot to alertness, ears sticking straight up and breathing sharp while his eyes skittered the edge of the camp.  Jean didn’t want to die, not yet anyway.  He shoved his hat onto his head and pulled his sleeping bag closer to Viktor.  The doctor may not be the safest person to be around, but Jean would rather take his chances with Viktor than with a Manticore.

Splice awoke to find Jean snuggling against his side.  He lifted his head and looked at the child with drooping eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Jean nearly jumped out of his fur.  “Oh Viktor!  I thought I heard something and I got scared so I scooted over and and and oh jeez I’m sorry.  Can I please sleep next to you?  I promise I won’t make a noise or anything, you won’t even notice I’m here!”

Viktor glared at his clone.  I did notice you nudging up against my side you little…  He sighed.  Reaching a hoof around Jean’s shoulder blades, he pulled the young colt closer to him.  Jean could feel Viktor’s heart beating through his chest.

“Fine, but only for tonight.  Just let me sleep.”

“Oh thank you thank you Viktor!  It means so much…”  But Viktor had already begun snoring loudly.

Jean stared at him for a moment or two.  Smiling, the young colt lay his head to rest and shut his eyes peacefully.  Maybe there is something more to Viktor…

Jean’s eyes shot open.  A loud crack, much closer than the last time, had ripped him from his slumber.  He tried to sit up, but Viktor’s foreleg firmly held the colt low to the ground.  Jean looked at Viktor and was shocked to see the doctor’s eyes wide open, staring intently into his own.  Splice whispered very discreetly to his clone.

“We are not alone.  Lie down and pretend you’re asleep.”

As he said this, the rustling in the distance grew louder.  It sounded like somebody was running – hooves could be heard clapping against the rocks and dirt as the unidentified figure moved.  Suddenly, the bushes along the edge of the campsite shook violently.  A pair of bright pink eyes floated into Jean’s line of vision.  For a second they seemed to be eyeing both he and Viktor with something akin to predatory contemplation, but the next instant morphed into an expression of fear.  And as Jean watched, the floating pair of eyes protruded from the forest, followed closely behind by the rest of the creature’s figure.

It was quite the bewildering sight, seeing that frightened beauty come running from the depths of the Everfree.  She was tall, slender, but with the appropriate curves in all the right places.  A pegasus mare, probably about Viktor’s age, coated in mustard-colored fur and a flowing brown mane.  And flowing could barely describe it.  Her mane trailed behind her at lengths that rivaled Princess Luna’s.  It seemed to be a separate apparition, billowy and shadowy in appearance, as though it were the very beast she was running from.  It held its own level of beauty, truly wondrous in nature.

Now her eyes were something else entirely.  Jean found himself wrapped up in their depths.  Vibrancy incarnate, the very definition of lurid allure.  They made one feel safe, secure, frightened, consumed… it was as though their very appeal drained one of his livelihood and brought him to the brink of madness.  Appeal so strong it threatened to starve the soul.

All this and more registered in both Viktor and Jean’s respective minds as the lonely spirit sprinted into the depths of their campsite.  Her face was contorted into an expression of fear, and her limp revealed an issue with her front hoof.  Jean wanted to help her.  He didn’t know with what, but seeing someone as gorgeous as her so undoubtedly scared made him feel uneasy.  But Splice wasn’t having any of it, oh no.  He held his clone down with relentless fervor.  The doctor knew something was amidst, and he had an inkling of what it might be.

As she drew nearer to their fire, the pegasus mare vocalized her fears.

“Oh please, somepony help me!  Please, oh please!”

Viktor bolted up, eyes half-shut and discombobulated, acting as though he’d just woken up.

“Wuh, huh, who’s there??”

“Please, you’ve got to help m—oof!”

As she ran the yellow pony trip on a small rock in the clearing, falling face-first onto the ground.  Jean made a move to help her, but was stopped by Viktor’s hoof.  The unicorn shot Jean a hard look and shook his head.  He then trotted towards the mare in mock-concern.

“Oh dear, are you alright?”  He cooed.

She sat back on her haunches.  Her eyes watered pitifully, and her lip pouted out in utter sadness.  She cradled her injured hoof in the other one, attempting to nurse it back to health.

“A Manticore!  It was chasing me, and I tried running, but then I got this huge splinter in my forehoof.  And oh it hurts so much!”  Sniffles and chocking sobs emanated from the young mare.  She was a sorry sight indeed.

Splice once again displayed mock-sympathy.  “Oh you poor thing!  But, what were you doing out here all alone in the middle of the night?”

“My friend wandered off.  I told her not to, but she didn’t listen!  She said some guy had told her to meet him here, and now she might be… she might be…!”  The weight of it all became too much for the pegasus, and she broke down crying.  Jean couldn’t take it anymore.  He stood up and walked forward.

“Would you like me to take a look at that hoof?”  He offered.

Viktor glowered at him, but the young mare sniffed gently.

“That’s sweet of you, really.  But I’d rather if some more, experienced hooves, worked their magic on me.”  As she said this she looked up at Viktor, giving him a sly wink.  Jean blinked confusedly.

“Of course my dear,” Viktor replied, “now let’s have a look at that hoof.”

He reached forward carefully, keeping his eyes firmly on the hoof in question.  She extended her foreleg, keeping suspicious care to conceal the bottom part of the hoof were the supposed splinter resided, and as Viktor drew nearer to her Jean could see something change in her demeanor.  It was slight, but enough to be noticed: her eyes shifted from doleful to something more along the lines of viscously hungry.

But just before making physical contact, Viktor halted his forward movement and powered up his horn.  Purple light covered her hoof, which was violently flipped upward to reveal the affected area.  She yelped at the suddenness of Splice’s actions, appearing both surprised and frightened, as the three ponies looked down to see…

Nothing.

There was nothing attached to her hoof.  No splinter, sliver, bramble or any other sort of organic infiltrator.  She was spotless.

“Well,” Viktor stated nonchalantly, “isn’t that interesting.”  He looked upward to meet her gaze, a sly expression upon his face.  She returned a very shocked expression.

“Oh, well, I...” she muttered.

Viktor stood up and walked around her towards the fire, eyeing her suspiciously the whole time.

“Where did you say you were from again?”

“I-I didn’t.  I’m from… Ponyville.”

“Ponyville.  Yes that’s the name of it.”  Viktor moved to the other side of the campfire, placing a good amount of distance between himself and her, and beckoned for Jean to follow.  He complied obediently.

“Tell me my dear, why didn’t you go to the authorities when you felt your friend’s life might be in danger?”

The pegasus stared at Viktor in confusion.  She seemed to be at a loss for words.  “I-I… I panicked.”

“Mmm yes, panic often does drive one to perform ridiculous actions.  So, did it never cross your mind that you might fly over the forest and scan for your friend?  Or if that proved inefficient, at least use your illustrious wingspan to escape this supposed Manticore that was following you?”

“My wings are broken.”  She sputtered quickly.  Viktor laughed.

“No they aren’t.  I can tell by the way they were splayed out when you so foolishly came running into our campsite.  Trust me, I’m a doctor.”

The young mare, who up to this point had looked so frightened while being placed under interrogation, suddenly wised up to Viktor’s antics.  She smiled wickedly.

“Alright fine.  You’ve caught me.  I’m fit as a fiddle, and twice as lovely.”  She stood up and walked towards the fire.  As she skirted the flames, Viktor and Jean walked the same direction as she did.  They rotated around the fire, keeping it between them, as they watched each other carefully.  Splice glared at her angrily, while she watched him hungrily.

“So tell me pegasus, why are you really out here?  You can’t really expect me to believe you have a lost friend roaming these woods.”

“It’s really none of your concern why I’m out here, but if you must know I’ll tell you.  I’m hungry.”

“There’s plenty of food in Ponyville.”

“Mmm yes, but nothing like they have out here.  The tastes of the Everfree are much more exquisite.  Wild, exotic, squirming.  Why I could practically live out here if I wanted to!”

“And you do don’t you?”

She smiled cunningly.  “What do you think?”

As Viktor and the perpetrator came to a stop, he glanced at her cutie mark thoughtfully.  It was unlike any he had ever seen: a heart split down the middle – the left half a gorgeous shade of pure pink, the right dripping with black, malicious ooze.  Both halves were eternally bound together by four large stitches.  He smiled.  Gotcha.

“Tell me my lady, what exactly does your cutie mark represent?”

She smiled, looking out into the trees behind the pair rather than at her flank.  “Oh this old thing?  Why it’s simply a mark of my clan…”  She turned around, hoping to lower Viktor’s guard with a sudden change of pace.  “But why are you so worried about my cutie mark?  You should be worried about the Manticore sneaking up behind you!”

Viktor and Jean both took the bait, whipping around in fear of the beast they imagined was leaping out at them that very second.  But nothing was there.

Instead, a loud screech echoed from behind them.  It tore at their eardrums and sent freezing chills down their spines.  Jean turned back just in time to behold the most horrifying sight the young colt could ever hope to see.

The yellow pegasus had pounced into the air like a panther.  Embers grazed her underbelly as she soared over the campfire toward Splice and his furry little friend.  But now Jean could see what Viktor had already known.  She wasn’t a pony.  Four huge claws protruded from each of her forehooves – they seemed to just tear right out of her skin and threaten to sink into their unwary prey.  But they weren’t rigid structures like normal claws.  They were something far more sinister.  Her claws appeared to be half-flesh and half-shadow, a wispy mass of oozing black matter that pulsated with the pure evil flowing through her veins.  Her entire body was stretched and contorted in a similar manner.  It seemed as though her skeletal structure had gained extra mass and bulged outward, ripping apart her skin and fur to reveal the shadowy flesh-like substance that made up her entire being.  Trails of shadow flowed behind her as she flew through the air.  Tentacles of dark putty lashed about, extra appendages that protruded from her hideous form.  The base of her body was still there: yellow streaks and patches that peeked through the black shadow-flesh that now made up most of her.  It was like a zebra, half one color and half the other, impossible to tell which was in larger proportion.  She was truly horrifying.  But worst of all was her face.

Her mouth had ripped open to reveal rows upon rows of jagged shark-teeth.  Not just two rows of sharp teeth like Viktor’s, but rather several lines of teeth, one behind the other, receding into the depths of her maw.  The jaw seemed to not only dislocate, but stretch and morph like the rest of her body due to its oozing, malleable, fleshy design.  Her lips, now dark and shadowy, spiked into a number of large spears meant for tearing and gnashing at flesh.  And her tongue…  Her tongue was long and forked – a snake’s tongue that was far too large for a snake.  Impressive amounts of drool poured out from the cavernous entity that was her mouth, prepping it for the meal to come.  As for her hair and eyes – the two entities that once reflected a dangerous sort of beauty – they now only revealed her true demonic nature.

Her hair had turned black as night.  It was pure shadow, gushing from the back of her head and flowing out into the world behind her.  Her mane was another being entirely.  It transformed into arms and claws, ready for grabbing its prey.  Like snakes for hair, but shadow instead.  And her eyes, once so gorgeous and alluring, now large and slit like a cat’s.  The pink of the irises took up more space than before.  They now glowed vibrantly, only exacerbating their vibrancy.

In conclusion, Jean Splice pissed himself.

She howled into the night as she descended upon her prey.  A banshee screech would have nothing on the sound this beast produced.  But even so Viktor Splice did not flinch.  His back was still turned to the horrifying spectacle leaping towards him, and he made no effort to turn around.  Until the last second that is.

With climactic timing, Viktor whirled around and braced himself in a powerful stance.  His horn burst with energy as he focused his magic on the beast before him.  And while Jean cowered with a frightened complexion, Viktor Splice grinned devilishly at his triumph.

Jean Splice sat with his eyes shut tight, muttering to himself and expecting the end.  But it never came.  Cautiously, the young colt pried open his eyelids and gazed upwards to see what had gone wrong in the course of his certain demise.  He wished he hadn’t been so curious.

The monster hung a few feet above Jean’s head but only several inches from Viktor’s face.  Its mouth was opened large enough to swallow a stallion whole, and the tip of its snake-tongue sat a mere hair’s breadth away from the end of Splice’s muzzle.  Those large pink eyes stared at the doctor fearfully, wide with shock and bewilderment.  Its black-fleshy body arced over the fire, stretched far beyond the normal limits for a pony.  The beast had expected to be the victor, but was instead unfortunate enough to meet Viktor.

Viktor Splice’s horn shone brightly with the large amounts of energy pulsating through it.  A similar glow radiated from deep within the beast’s gut, and the unicorn had only managed to stop the monster by grasping it at its very core.  He could feel its vitals pulsing in his telekinetic grasp.

And so they remained, two ponies below and evil incarnate hanging above, until Viktor broke the silence with a small chuckle.  He looked the monster up and down before speaking.

“My goodness you are a gorgeous specimen.  So ripe with energy and volatility.  But you made one fatal mistake.  You attempted to subdue a pony who’s all too familiar with the shenanigans of your kind.”  He lowered her so her large eyes were level with his.  “You should really make your intentions less obvious, Shadow Being.”

As he spoke the creature’s eyes widened in disbelief.  Viktor continued speaking.

“Just how many of you are there?”

“Just me,” came the abominations slow curdling reply.

Splice growled.  “Liar.  Your species never travels alone.  You always move in packs, like Timberwolves.  Where are they, hiding in the trees?”  He turned his attention to the surrounding forest, calling out into the dead of night.  “Come on out!  I know you’re out there!”

“There’s nobody there, only me…”

He snorted.  “Lone wolf eh?  Alright.  Tell me, who are you?”

“I don’t need to tell the likes of you,” she snarled.

“You will, or you will die.”

Laughter slid out of the beast’s throat.  Laughter that didn’t actually sound happy, but rather the kind of laughter that masks a deep pain.  “Go ahead, kill me, you’d be doing the world a favor.  You’d be doing me a favor as well.”

Viktor stopped his onslaught of venomous remarks.  He shot her an inquisitive look.  “How?”

She snorted loudly.  “I’m the last of my kind Doctor…

…The last of the succubi.”

Thinking came to a standstill.  Viktor couldn’t correctly formulate words or sentences, and was condemned to sputtering incoherent phrases.  He took a few short breaths to steady himself before responding.

“The… last?  How is that possible?  Your race was a powerful one many years ago.”

She scoffed.  “A few centuries ago maybe.  Now it’s only me.  I am the last remaining member of the last remaining tribe of the once great race of Shadow Beings.  So go ahead, kill me, cleanse the world of our presence!”

Profound sadness emanated from within her very core.  Viktor could feel it with his magic.  He could see it in her eyes.  But most of all he could understand it, that feeling of utter desolation.

Slowly, Viktor released his magical grasp on the succubus, lowering her to the ground before him.  As he did, she relinquished her beastly form and reverted to her pegasus appearance.  Her face was marked with curiosity as to why the doctor was releasing her.  He looked into her eyes.  Those bright pink eyes.

“Your race may have been well-hidden, fairy tales to those who knew nothing of it.  But to those of us who knew, you were a powerful people…  What happened to your race?”

The mare stood her ground, determined to uphold her sturdy demeanor.  But seeing Viktor soften up, even slightly, broke her defenses.  She sighed.

“That tyrant used the power of the Elements to decimate us shortly after banishing her sister to the moon.  I guess we posed too much of a threat to her precious subjects.  Better us than them, you know?”

“She… exterminated the Shadow Beings?”

The mare nodded.  “She took everything, and now there’s only me.”

The two adult ponies considered each other for a long while.  They could kill each other, right here, right now.  If only one of them were to make the first move.  But instead, they both looked to the floor, disheartened and downcast.  Viktor was the first to speak again.

“She took everything from me as well.  My family, my life, my identity…”

The succubus looked into his eyes, searching for a hint of deception.  She found none, only that dismal dreariness that comes with bitter honesty.  He truly meant what he said.  Splice nudged his clone, who up until now had been watching the scene unfold in front of him amazedly.

“Hey, Drog, come on snap out of it.  Go pack up your saddlebags alright?”

Viktor looked the pegasus in the eyes.  “You’re free to go.  I won’t stop you.  Just… go.”  He snuffed out the fire with his magic, and then turned to pack up his things.  Before walking away he looked over his shoulder at the yellow mare.  “You have very beautiful eyes you know.  Pink is a wonderful color.”

She watched dumbly as the unicorn and his clone packed their sleeping bags away, and kept on staring even as they begin to walk away.  Just as they reached the edge of the clearing, she found her voice.

“Sarah!”  She shouted.  Viktor stopped, cocking his head back questioningly.  Shakily, she continued.  “My name is Sarah.  Sarah Pheromone.”

A gentle breeze flitted into the clearing, rustling the soft fur on the three ponies.  Viktor had his back turned to Sarah, who eyed him almost pleadingly.  He kept his own gaze pointed firmly downward.  Jean looked up to Viktor, eyeing him for any sign of emotion.  Sarah stepped forward.

“Let’s work together.  We can destroy her for what she did to us.”

Viktor laughed a scoffing laugh.  He responded without ever looking up from the ground.  “And how can I trust a demon such as yourself?”

Sarah stepped forward.  She was determined to make her point.  “Either we work together, or one of us dies here tonight.”

Viktor smiled.  He turned around to face her, newfound bliss plastered on his face.  “My god I think I love you.  Very well Sarah!”  The unicorn stepped forward, coming face-to-face with the succubus.  A blue hoof was thrust outward in mutual companionship, and she gratefully accepted it in her own.  “My name is Viktor.  Viktor Splice.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance Viktor.”  She smiled.

“Well of course it is.”  He smiled back.  “Come now Sarah, we’ve much work to do and very little time to get you up to speed.”

And so three ponies, one an evil doctor, one a demonic succubus, and the other a religious child wandered through the depths of the Everfree Forest.  The start of a bad joke indeed.