The (un)Life and Times Of Specter Shift

"You know, it comes to mind that I haven't asked the most obvious question." Specter tried to roll his eyes up high enough to get a good look at his new accouterments. He could have probably used a mirror, but-

Mirrors weren't good news for ponies of his unique disposition.

So instead he was forced to accept he had a large bug-cum-hat and had absolutely no idea where it had come from, or, more importantly-

"Oh yeah?" The hat spoke in a raspy voice easily identifiable as the Changeling's, "What's that then?"

-more importantly "Why are you my hat, now, exactly?"

"Your head looked naked, of course," Came Wilhelm's matter-of-fact reply.

"I can't argue with that logic," Specter mused.

Even if I really, really want to. He finished mentally.

"It's just a bit odd, I guess."

"Well, I could be softer, if you want!" Wilhelm chirped eagerly, "And if I move my wings like so-"

Specter raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "You don't really have tooooOOOOOOooooh my-y-y-y...

His eyes unfocused and slowly crossed as the 'hat' practically melted around the contours of his head, vibrating in just the right spots.

In that glorious instance of pure bliss Specter Shiftcompletely forgave the strange-even-by-his-lofty-standards Changeling that had, only minutes ago, crash tackled him, assumed his identity and revealed his half-baked plans to siphon the love from the one pony he truly admired.

The fact that this implied the Changeling had thought he'd had a chance at all with Twilight Sparkle was deeply flattering and may have contributed to the decision.

The moment ended rather unceremoniously after Specter, so overwhelmed by cranial bliss, forgot that there were, in fact, other parts of his anatomy that needed some small amount of attention to retain basic functionality.

Other, trivial parts like his limbs.

He hit the ground, tongue lolling out the corner of his mouth, eyes scrunched shut in pure bliss, slamming open with the surprising impact and the loss of a small piece of heaven from his head.

"Wilhelm?"

The hat, now visible to Specter, lay beside him. It seemed to be leaking from the brim.

Or was it... Was it crying? Huh.

"I'm sorry!" it cried, "I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again, I promise!"

Oh dear, Wilhelm, if you say something like that you might make me cry too.

"Hey, hey, my fault, okay? I just wasn't expecting it, it was an accident. But, maybe, you could-" This is going to be the hardest thing I've said in my long, long life,"-Not do that again, for now, or whilst I need to concentrate? You're just way too good at that, it feels amazing, but it's a bit... Too amazing? Is that a thing?" Specter stared at the hat, studying it for any reaction.

The Changeling was literally brimming with relief, wagging his ribbon back and forth like a wagging tail. It was, undoubtedly, cute.

It was adorable. What an odd thing to think of a giant shapeshifting bug straight from Luna's own nightmares. Nightmare's nightmares?

Donning the hat, which seemed to be gently bobbing with joy, Specter felt happier than he had in years.

"Wilhelm, I have a feeling this is going to be a beautiful friendship."

Wilhelm broke out into an impromptu rendition of the Marexican hat dance, laughing with glee. Specter tottered back and forth, trying to keep the over-excited hat balanced upon his head.

Specter lifted his head and focused a little, sniffing the air. Smoke, spices and sweet fruits were nearby, clearly defined from the dank, mossy smelling undergrowth of the forest floor.

"Wil-Hat!" He called, "We're home!"

"H-home?" It whispered, voice filled with wonder.

Specter felt his head grow cold suddenly and there was a soft thud in the leafy brush beside him.

He just passed out from... Joy? Specter stared at the gibbous beside him.

"Well!" Specter said cheerfully, trotting along his path and unlocking the front door with the harsh KA-KLACK of a moving deadbolt, "You truly are an evil one, aren't you?"

The gibbous seemed to melt in green fire once more, causing Specter to shield his eyes with a hoof.

There was a soft buzzing noise. The stallion blinked, slowly forcing his eyes opened. Before him was a bright, technicolour beanie with a propeller on it. It bobbed happily in acknowledgement.

Specter sighed, though it was a happy sigh filled with amusement, as he opened the front door to let the changeling in.

Huh. Fighting 'pure evil' with nothing but kindness, honesty, generosity and whatever those other two were. Heh, I'm just like Twilight. He thought proudly. He thought a little more with a tight, worried frown.

Except, you know, a dude.

Nodding to himself he locked the door behind him and followed the beanie inside.

Who knows what strange ponies could be around?

"I am most sorry, Black Velvet," Luna spoke calmly, soothingly, "I have no idea what came over my dearest sister." She glared at the sheepish white alicorn huddled on the other side of the room.

"Oh, it's quite alright, dear. My goodness, you're Princess Luna, aren't you?" The book slipped effortlessly between 'doting grandma' and 'fan worship'.

"You know of me?" Luna was, frankly, amazed. Black Velvet was most certainly deceased by the time of her return.

"Oh, yes, dear, Glimmer Sparkle would go on for hours talking about her best friend, she did, she'd-" The little old book was stunned into silence as Luna charged the dusty tome, eyes bulging at the gilded title, thrusting her hooves around the cover and jerking it to head height, mouth agape. Celestia huddled tighter into her little corner, too scared to look, too shocked to look away.

"Glimmer Sparkle?! Glimmer Sparkle? Glimmer Sparkle?!" Luna babbled.

"My particularly great grandmother." The book confirmed. Whilst normal ponies would be frightened at being forcefully shaken by a flabbergasted princess, one with the power to move the very cosmos, death tended to put things into perspective.

Luna, in turn, just stared, grasping the book tighter.

"Whoah, there, Princess, ease up now dear." The book chuckled. "You break my spine and Twilight might just try to do her darnedest to return the favour. After all that trouble Specter went to-"

"Specter?"

"Now, please, stop interrupting, it isn't very ladylike, especially for somepony of your status." The book scolded, "Besides, I was getting to that. Oh, princess, Specter is just such a kind pony, really, it was because of him I got to meet my dearest granddaughter again." The book 'smiled' wistfully. "And meet both the royal princesses in the flesh. Shame I can't do the same for you, eh?" The pages rubbed together in an attempt at a dry chuckle. It was... hauntingly accurate.

Haunted being a key word there, it seems.

"I do apologize." Princess Luna gently lowered Black Velvet in as regal a manner as possible. "I am still learning to cope with such transgressions of mine, it seems. Now..." Luna stared meaningfully at her Sister, "Do tell us more about this 'Specter' pony."

Her features hardened. Celestia gulped.

"I do think we should like to meet him, rather soon at that."

"Hey, Specter, what does 'Oblivious' mean?"

"It's like, unaware, but it's more like naivety."

"Oh... What about naivety?"

"Naivety is that thing, my chitinous friend, I apparently was when I suspected teaching you to read would be a good idea."

"I realize this may undermine your point somewhat, but- what does chitinous mean?"

"It means we're starting off with the ones that have pictures in them." Specter sighed. He brightened, somewhat, when the top-hat-monocle combo perched on one of his house's many convenient skulls seemed to bubble over in frothing excitement.

'It's bizarre seeing something so cute act so innocently on something a lot of other ponies would consider macabre, but hey, c'est la vie-  Or, rather, c'est la mort, I guess.'

"What is that fancy-talk for?"

'Oh, bugger, I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?'

'You're still doing it." The hat pointed out nervously, gesturing with its brim.

"Gurk!" Specter articulated precisely, "Thoughts, stay inside the head, stop trying to have a ménage la trois with mouth."

"What's a 'menage-la-trois?" The hat asked naively.

"Something I will never, in my long, fruitful life, ever have, but many changelings probably do daily." Specter nodded sagely, doing his best to hide his blushing.

"Well, I'm a changeling, want to have a ménage la trois with me?" The hat asked hopefully.

"I am surprisingly scaroused by that offer, Wil-hat," Specter's lower eyelid twitched subtly as he tried to retain eye contact with the monocle lens without burying his head in his hooves, "But maybe we should read some books, huh? Look, this one has bright colours and a little ducky!"

"I love duckies!" Wil-hat chirped.

"Of course you do." Specter sighed in relief, happy to be back on safer ground.

"They taste great with gravy!"

"This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" the pony massaged his throbbing temples furiously.

"Well, that's okay biffle-bestie-buddy, we can have a sleepover, only I don't have to sleep either, because I think you're pretty swell!"

"Th-That means a lot to me, WilHat." Specter flinched, completely caught off guard.

The hat, in reply, sneezed, launching a bubble pipe out from its depths. Catching it with the monocle chain and looping it around the mouth piece, the hat proceeded to blow a stream of bubbles from approximately the skull-perches mouth.

It looked rather dapper, actually.

"Alright! Gentlecolt mode activate!" The hat's voice turned deadly serious; "Let's get scholarly."

Specter nestled into his soft leather reading chair, made only of leather from the skins of creatures that had died of natural causes and whom he had asked very politely for permission, the snoozing cap with a rather amusing pom-pom leaning eagerly forward for reading time.

Sipping his warm soy-milk and nestled in his comfy chair Specter felt totally at peace with the world. He had found the reading buddy he had sought in Twilight, a thought that still caused him no end of emotional distress, in his rather peculiar headgear.

"There once was an ugly duckling" he began slowly. Whilst reading was his favourite past-time, an activity which allowed him to escape from reality into happier worlds. Sometimes even much, much unhappier worlds, worlds where he could cheer for anypony trying, against all odds, to make it suck less...

Whilst normally reading his old foalhood books would be far too below his skill level to be entertaining at all the lonesome grey pony had found a new, greater source of entertainment in sharing the gift of reading with his... 'hat'.

"None of the other ducklings liked him at all. They called him ugly, they teased him. The ugly duckling was sad because he never fit in. He was the odd one out. You try, Hat!"

His head felt a soft little surge and the little tuft of pom-pom danced at the top of his peripheral vision.

"Err... T-h-e, the! u-g- ugly, d-u-c-k-l-i, oh! I got this! The, ugly, duckling, was, all, alone. S-o-m-e... Soam?"

"That's 'something' Wil."

"Oh! Something changed, ha I know that word, though, as the duckling g-r-e-w, grew, up."

Specter smiled, sipped his milk, and continued from where the changeling had left off by turning the page of the old, stained foalhood book.

"He became taller, beautiful, far more graceful  than the other ducklings. They became confused, what had happened to the ugly duckling? It was then that the ugly duckling's parents found him." He turned the page, revealing ony a landscape portrait of two gorgeous swans. No text to mire the effect. WilHat bounced on his head with glee.

'Why must I be so, hee hee, ticklish?!'

"The ugly duckling wasn't a duckling at all... He was a beautiful swan."

"Wait!" Wil cried out, "I have a question, Mr Book!"

"The book can't answer you, so why don't you ask me?"

For the first time since they had met, Specter realized, Wilhelm reverted to his original, changeling-bug form and stared at him in confusion.

"What if he was a duckling? Or if no swans ever showed up?"

"What do you mean, Wilhelm? They did find him, so-"

"No!" Wilhelm cried out, "He would have been ugly forever, and no one would know he was actually beautiful, because all the ducklings couldn't understand. They'd think the swan was just a really ugly duckling, wouldn't they?!"

"Well, I suppose so, so isn't it-"

"You still don't get it!" Wilhelm wailed, "Now that they know he's a swan he can never, ever go back to the ducks again! He's still an outsider, he still doesn't fit in! What if... What if I'm an ugly duckling?" Wilhelm whimpered.

"What makes you think something as awful as that?" The grey stallion dropped the book, gently of course, and gave the sobbing Changeling a lanky hug.

"I can change into anything! I feed off love, but no one loves me, no one will ever love me, everybody hates Changelings!" Wil bawled, head nuzzled into Specter's side, "I know I'm a swan, but nopony else does. They still think I'm just a horrible, horrible duckling."

Specter opened his mouth to console his new friend, to take back ever reading that book, to assure him that he was wrong-

No words came out.

One bitter thought rang through Specter's head, echoing around and around his brain like the soft clanging of funeral bells;

"What if the ugly duckling never met another swan?" They... They'd probably...

I think, I think they'd...

Specter leaned into the hug a little harder, a little tighter, pulling Wilhelm ever closer.

Wilhelm never saw the tears that fell from the other's eyes.

I''ll never meet another swan, so I'll always be the ugly duckling...

"Thanks, Rarity, I appreciate you doing so much on such short notice."

"Think nothing of it, dear, I packed it with all the essentials." Twilight subtly floated out a checklist and well-inked quill, glistening from its recent thorough dunking, That stylish bag holds a tent-" check, "A lantern,"  check

"Some soup Sweetie Belle made,"  That's not-, "It makes excellent lantern oil, burns brighter and longer than kerosene, "Ah, right!, "I've made some apple-jelly sandwhiches to eat, dear, worry not,"  check, "Some shampoo, some conditioner, three brushes, a hairdryer, a hoof file-" Err... Those aren't on the list. Forgive me, Rarity, for what I am about to do... Eventually.

"I'm sorry, Rarity," she levitated the bric-a-brac out of the rapidly lightening duffel, "But I'm heading into the Everfree. Lightness is critical. Anything I can't defend myself from I need to run away from, and a hairdryer isn't..."

She glanced back and forth, sighed, and unceremoniously dumped the beauty products on the ground having found nowhere else to place them.

"I'm in a rush, that silly pony's run off into the Everfree! Who knows what a sweet little guy like that would do by himself out there?! He's probably scared and afraid right now, and I need to help him. Every second counts, so I don't even have time to finish this sente-"

And with that, Twilight rushed off in a burst of magically enhanced speed, leaving a stunned and horrified Rarity in her wake.

"Have you located the necromancer, Stalwart?"

"Indeed, Miss, your carriage awaits to take you to his location."

"We leave at once. Prepare the men."

"At once? Your highness, are you sure-"

"At once."