Getting dressed and going back into the main room, it was obvious that their ahem... festivities... needed to be cleaned up, as the whole place was a mess and would surely become impossible to clean after setting for a week.

They also needed to get their tech.

"I am not looking forward to cleaning all of dis," Midnight said.

"I'll take care of that," she said as the huge mess from their sex drive went from all over the room into a milky white ball, encompassed by her aura, "Open the window."

Midnight did as she said, then she threw the ball of love-juice out the window and onto the street.

"Or we just do dat."

"We do have other things to do."

"I'll get da shit outta da car and-"

"I'm coming, too."

As Midnight and Luna went and took their tech and her clothes back into the apartment, both knew that, in the back of their heads, Midnight would have to teach Luna to stab her hand with a knife.

The fact that there was a puddle of smelly crust forming just outside the front door of the complex didn't really help matters either.

Going back in and putting the stuff down, Midnight eyed the knives on the countertop and began contemplating.

Should I lie and say I'm sick? No, they're not dumb. Leave LU here? No! No abandoning! Oh, fuck. What can I do?

Finally accepting defeat, he reluctantly began.

"Luna," he said, getting a knife and going to the couch with her and a notebook, abused and battered from months of torture from various knives, "It goes like dis," he put his hand down, fingers apart, and began stabbing.

Oh, I have all my fingers
Da knife goes CHOP CHOP CHOP!
If I miss da spaces in between, my fingers will come off
And if I hit my fingers, da blood will soon come out,
But all da same I play dis game 'cause dat's what it's all about!
Oh CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP, I'm picking up da speed,
And if I hit my fingers, den my hand will start to bleed!

He had played a perfect round.

"Dat's how it's supposed to be done. Yous need to stab a finger accidentally at some point."

He gave her the knife.

"Show me, and try to mess up."

He hoped she would and wouldn't at the same time.

On the yes side, it would keep him sustained via the accidents. On the no side, he genuinely cared for her.

"Alright," she said, violently stabbing between her fingers, perfectly until she decided to put the knife down.

Midnight's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"H- how...?"

"My coordination may pose issues," she said, worried.

"Okay, two things. One, coordinate on your hand, preferably a finger. Two, DON'T STAB LIKE YOU'RE INSANE!!! I just need a small cut, NOT A REASON TO GO TO DA DAMN HOSPITAL!!!"

"Right," she said, playing a perfect round like Midnight had showed, "Better?" she asked, hopeful.

"At least... At least I won't need a new pair of pants. Focus on stabbing a finger. Not bad, just enough to cut yourself."

"Alright," she said, stabbing herself four hits in and opening a decent-sized cut that bled almost instantly, causing them to both wince, "Was that correct?"

"Perfect," he said, taking her finger and sucking on it, licking it closed a few seconds later, "Just like dat."

"I thought it would be worse."

"Nope. Dough I still wish yous hadn't turned me into a vampire, even though it's pretty cool."

"I'm sorry. I can fix it if you-"

"No, it's... actually pretty cool. I have to drink blood, but still, I like it."

"I'm confused."

"I can do so much more now dan before."

"You said you have to drink blood."

"It's still amazing," Midnight pulled her into an embrace, "Thank you, Luna."

"Y- you're welcome," she said, returning his embrace, "You'll still show me everything in your world, right?"

"Everything dat I can."

"Are you sure?"

"I swear on my grave."

"Thank you."

"Now, wanna take a look at your laptop?"

"Sure."

"Alright!" he said, turning her around, "Let's do da unboxing!"

Unboxing the computer, he saw that it was the Pro model, immediately noticeable because of the magnesium alloy body. It was still twelve inches, though.

"We ordered a white one, did we not?"

"Da guy knows dat I always need da metal-bodied models."

He plugged up the computer and started it up, but after the Pine logo, came one of the MANY banes of his existance.

"AUGH!"

"What?" Luna said, concerned, "Is something the matter?"

"Dat dude KNOWS Arch Linux is founded on da KISS principal!"

"Kiss?"

"KISS. Keep it simple, stupid."

"Excuse me?" Luna said, thinking he was insulting her.

"No. It literally means 'Keep it simple, stupid'," he said, loading up the Wikipedia article for Arch Linux on his phone and showing her, "See? Keep it simple stupid. Not make a person who gets a laptop wit it preloaded sit down and do everything at a fucking terminal."

"Is that a problem?"

"Depends," he said, restarting the laptop, "If it comes to a setup screen, I won't have to type a command. If it doesn't, den I will. If dat doesn't work, well I could build one of dese in my sleep."

The laptop rebooted and went through a regular setup process, asking to set up a user profile and connect to the WiFi.

"That was simple," Luna said.

"Yeah. Just make a username and password, den have it connect to my wireless internet. I have 80 Mbps, so don't worry about it being slow. Anyway, you wanna play around with it or let me show you?"

"You mentioned earlier that you have your own things to set up. But, one thing I am wondering."

"Yes?"

"What is Firefox?"

"Firefox is da Arch Linux of web browsers. It's da best in existence."

"I guess I shall begin here," she said as Midnight went to set up his new computer.

"Okay," he replied, "If ya need me, I'll be in here, dealing with da hell that is better known as Nvidia Tegra."

"Thank you," she said, getting a feel for the trackpad.

In his bedroom, Midnight had already connected a data transfer cable between his 2010-era Pinebox and the brand-new computer with its keyboard and mouse already connected.

"Okay, den. Blank drive should put the new PC in slave drive mode, and just run Pine Clone from da old one to da new one and play da waiting game."

As the old one took its precious time, Luna came into Midnight's bedroom with her laptop.

"Midnight, can you tell me what this is?"

"Lemmie see wha-" he said, stopping when he saw what was on her computer.

"Is it bad?"

It was a sex video on Pornhub.

"Luna, dat's porn," he said, as if trying to clarify something.

"Should I get rid of it?"

"Yeah. Porn is basically da same as you dreaming about coming here and doing all of dis stuff. Da sex we had earlier is equal to actually coming here and enjoying yourself. Why would you want the former?"

"How do I get out of it?"

"Bring it here," Midnight said as Luna navigated around the boxes and cables, "See da little shapes in the top-right of da window? The X closes it."

"Oh," she said as he closed the window and opened a new Firefox session for her.

"Now, go put it back to charge, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, leaving the room as Midnight began cloning everything to his new computer.

"Goodbye N-shit-ia, hello Rockwell," he said, getting everything ready to put into storage.

Author's Note

So, the first thing Luna does is google porn.