Equestria Girls: Shinji's Revelation

Misato: "You do nothing. We no longer need you but you will stay here like a good little dog. Escape and you' will be put down like one."

Asuka: "None of your Damn Bussiness. No one cares about you anymore. Your dead to me and Misato."

Gendo: "Pilot the Eva. That's all your good for Shinji Ikari."

Sakura: "Never get in an Eva! You'll kill us all!"

Rei Q: "I don't know. I don't remember you. I don't remember you saving me nor do I remember even meeting you before."

Shinji suddenly shot up from his sleeping bag as he was soaked in cold sweat. He could feel his heart pounding very fast as he breathes in and out. He immediately grabbed the cartage of his pills and quickly took two and drank some water to help it go down. The breathing started to calm a little as he felt his heart calm as well.

Shinji sigh in relief, he thought he was gonna have another panic attack. Although the problem is that he is running out. The doesn't have enough money to buy more since Gilda took his money he was gonna use to buy more.

After Shinji got dressed he grabbed his backpack and exited his tent as he ran to get to school on time. Shinji lived in a tent in the middle of the woods where no one can bother him. He couldn't afford a decent place to live and even though the school offered him a place for him to stay he declined. He felt this was right for him. After all, he doesn't deserve any comfort this world has to offer.

After he exited the woods he made his way towards the town as he planned on getting to school extra early today so that way he doesn't end up late again or by running into Gilda.

As he walking through the neighborhood he noticed that it was another beautiful day today. Birds were singing, the wind was blowing. Just another beautiful day. Shinji loved peaceful days liked this. It gave him a feeling of serenity just like when he looks at the stars at night. It feels like many of the things that have happened to him don't really matter.

As Shinji was heading to school while listening to his S-date he noticed a messy green haired girl wearing a brown striped sweater waiting for the light to turn red so she could cross the street. When Shinji got closer he saw she had freckles on her face and her eyes were brown. Shinji doesn't know her name but he noticed that she is the only kid in the school that most kids don't acknowledge. It was almost like she's invisible to everyone. Not even a photo of her made it to the school yearbook. Shinji kinda amazed by that. She might not like it but to him, he wished he had something like that. Shinji was like a magnet. Always attracting trouble. People always want to talk to him but never in a good way. Sure he made friends in the past but...just like everything else, nothing ever lasts. Especially with him.

The green haired girl noticed Shinji staring at her as she irritably frowned at him as she didn't appreciate the Japanese boy staring at her like that. She then shot a glare at him as Shinji quickly looked the opposite direction trying to pretend he wasn't staring at her at all.

"...Pervert." She muttered as she crossed the street when the walking signal lit up. Shinji was surprised at the fact that she called him a pervert. It wouldn't be the first time he was accused of being one but he would have never expected she would assume that he was checking her out.

Shinji blushed by that. He never understood why so many women thought of him as a pervert. Then again, he would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to pretty girls. However not wanting her to get the wrong idea he immediately went after her. "Hey wait!"

When Shinji caught up with her he immediately bowed in front of her trying to show his respect to her. "I-i'm sorry! I didn't mean to stare at you like that! Forgive me if I was being rude." Shouted Shinji nervously as he stuttered every word.

At first, the green haired girl didn't say anything except frown in annoyance. "Get up. You do realize we don't do that here right."

Shinji rose his head up as he realized he was making a bit of a scene as other people walking by were staring at them. "S-sorry. Old habits." He said as he fake chuckled. Everything fell silent between the two. It felt awkward. Shinji wanted to break the ice so he introduced himself. "My name is Shinji Ikari. What's your name?"

She continued to frown at him but decided to give him a chance as she raised out her hand to him. They shook hands as the girl decided to change her mood. "My name is Wallflower Blush."

"Wallflower Blush, that ah yah...long name." Shinji than thought to himself. "Why do most people in this world have such strange names?"

"Just call me Wallflower. Now if you excuse me I need to get to school," said Wallflower as she walked past Shinji.

Shinji than caught up to her as he wanted to ask her a question. "Hey wait. How come I don't see you in any of the classes. I'm pretty sure were in the same math class right?"

Wallflower glared at him again as she growled in annoyance. "Yes, we are. I sit right behind you. Remember?"

Shinji was bewildered by that as he blushes in embarrassment at how dumb he sounded. How could he not notice her sitting behind him then again she was always the quiet but however so was he and he gets a lot of unwanted attention. "Oh uh yeah now that I-I think about it I think I do remember that you go to the same math class as me."

Wallflower knew he was lying. Just like everybody else who protected to remember her. She rolled her eyes and continued to walk not wanting to hear him make up a story on how he remembers her. Than Shinji called ou her again.

"W-wait, I'm sorry I-I never meant to hurt your feelings-" Than Wallflower had enough.

"Listen Shinji, I would appreciate it that you stop talking to me. No offense, but you irritate me." She said as she continued walking across town to get to school.

Shinji stood there looking at Wallflower as her harsh words depressed him. Stared at the floor for a while before he continued to make his way to school. "Nothing ever changes. Even in this world, people hate me. I try to fit in, I try not to draw attention myself. But why does she hate me of all people?"

Later on, Shinji Ikari was in art class. The art teacher told everyone to paint whatever came to their mind. Shinji wanted to paint something positive since most of the things that come to mind were his horrible memories of his past. He tried to keep his memories at bay. He tried to focus on something positive. Who was the only person that was kind to him. A person Shinji loved very much. He thought hard but slowly the horrible memories started to creep up. He tried to focus on what makes him happy. "What makes me happy?" He whispered to himself.

Pinkie Pie was having the same problem. She didn't know what she wanted to paint. "I just don't know," She said as she shook her head in frustration. "There are so many deferent things I could paint, but I'm drawing a blank."

"You just need to find some inspiration that's all," said Sunset as she overheard her friend Pinkie Pie. Sunset was busy painting her own picture as she was painting an image of sunflowers. "Get those creative juices flowing."

Pinkie Pie expression suddenly turns into a small grin as she had an idea what she needed. "Your absolutely right Sunset Shimmer," said Pinkie Pie as she suddenly exited the classroom.

"Wait, wha-" Sunset Shimmer was suddenly confused. "Where are you going?" She muttered.

Shinji focused really hard on things that make him smile. He suddenly heard an echoing voice calling out to him as he recognized it. It sounded distant at first but it soon sounded more and more clear as it sounded like it was getting closer. Shinji looked towards the opened doorway and saw someone very familiar smiling at him as she knew him from long ago.

It was a ghostly figure, a familiar girl around his age with pale blue air with bangs cantered in the middle of her red eyes. She wearing the same Japanese school uniform from before. She smiled at Shinji sweetly as she stood by the doorway watching him. Shinji's eyes grew wider as his pupils shrunk in fear as tears started to slowly drip down his eye. He immediately shook his head as he tried to snap out of it. Shinji than looked at the doorway again and this time the ghostly figure that was once standing there now vanished.

Shinji wiped his tears than went back to figuring out what to paint. He took his paintbrush and raised it up on the blank board. He stopped as he still couldn't figure out what to paint.

"Paint something for me Shinji." said an older woman's voice. It sounded motherly and kind as it echoed just like the voice from before.

The ghostly person was standing right behind Shinji as she took Shinji's hand and started to make Shinji paint. Shinji than started to feel relaxed as allowed this person to guide his hand. Shinji's smile grew as he could feel his heart warm up. He could feel her warmth as he embraced her. He wasn't sure what he was painting. He just followed the brush. Followed in what he felt was right.

"...remember Shinji. Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live." Shinji than started to remember the good times. Like the time when Shinji and his friends were eating lunch together at one of the top secret facilities that were trying to restore the ocean. It was him, Toji, Kensuke, Kaji, Asuka, Rei, and even Pen Pen. They were all eating together having a good time. He remembered how much they complimented his cooking and how good it tasted and much they loved eating it. He even remembered all the crazy things that happened to him.

Flashback:

"Ooh, Shinji you forgot this!" Shouted Misato as she chased after him with a special lunch she made for him.

"It's alright Misato. I'll be late. I'll be okay." Said Shinji as he purposely tried to lose her.

"But its the lunch I made for you." She said with an excited smile. "I made it so full of LOVE!! Take it with you!"

"No!" he said as he ran faster.

A while later he manages to lose her. When it was lunch he notices the lunch Toji was about to eat looked familiar as he remembers the cloth Misato wrapped it in.

"Toji, that lunch. i-it wouldn't be m-my lunch would it?" asked Shinji as he was scared at the idea of his friend eating his guardians awful cooking.

"You better believe it Shin-man. I mean honestly. Why would anybody not want to eat a home-cooked meal made by one of the hottest women like Ms. Katsuragi?"

"TOJI DON'T!!!"

Later on, Toji ended up at the nurses' office as it was confirmed that he had food poisoning. Both Vomiting and diarrhea.

"I'm...Fine...guys...Tell my...sister...that I...Lo-" Than he fell unconscious as he felt his soul leave this world.

Switched to another flashback:

Shinji and Misato were looking at one of the most perfect views of Tokyo-3.

"From up here? The city looks so lonely," said Shinji as Misato was looking at her watch.

"Its time." then suddenly Shinji heard an alarm go off that could be heard throughout the entire city. Shinji watched as the building started to raise up from the ground. "Wow, the buildings. There growing." Soon the Shinji was looking one of the most magnificent sights he has ever seen as the sky scrapper started to block out the sun.

"This whole city is a fortress built to intercept Angels. It's our city, Tokyo-3" Misato said with a smile. She then looked at Shinji "Take a good look down there. Do you see it? That's the city you protected. What you did to today was a good thing. I just wanted you to know that."

End of Flashback:

"Well, well Shinji Ikari, you've been holding out on us." Said the art teacher. "I never realized we had such an artist in our class." Shinji found himself back to reality as he noticed everyone in the class was looking at him in awe as they looked at the painting he did. Shinji looked at the painting and realized he painted none other Rie Ayanami smiling so sweetly. The painting was beautiful. It was a perfect painting of her. It was almost like she was here right beside him.

"Outstanding Shinji Ikari. I'd say you get an A' for this piece." She said as written a grade on a piece of paper on a clipboard she was holding. "So what are planning calling this piece?"

Shinji looked at the painting with a small smile forming on his face. "...I call it...Rei Ayanami."

While everyone was admiring Shinji's painting Sunset Shimmer was staring at Shinji. Her expression showed curiosity and interest. However, she narrowed her eyes towards him as Sunset felt something in him. She wasn't sure if it was magic or not but it felt somewhat unsettling.

Suddenly and without knowing, Pinkie Pie came back to class as she suddenly started painting. Pinkie Pie was painting so recklessly to the point where she was making the mess. She got paint on Sunset's painting, including on her. Pinkie Splashed her portrait with a bucket of orange paint as More and more splashes of paint fell on Sunset Shimmer as she frowned in annoyance. The splashes of paint even got other people's artwork.

"Yeeeeehooooo!!! Yeah!!" shouted Pinkie pie as she was having fun.

Pinke Pie was finally done, she smiled in at her finished work. "When you said to paint a subject that's totally awesome and makes me happy, I thought of something right away," she said as she showed her work to Sunset. "Tada!!, I painted you Sunset!"

Sunset still deadpanned even at her friend's generous painting. she was covered in red and orange paint all over her. It was on her hair and her clothes. "Yes Pinkie, yes you did." She responded with a small smile as looked at all the paint that was on her clothes.

Meanwhile, on a hot sunny day, Sunset Shimmer and her friends watching the school's football team practicing for the upcoming game. While Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were cheering them on Sunset Shimmer thinking about the Shinji Ikari. She wanted to know about him but there wasn't much. She knows that most of the student treat him like an outcast for some reason. She even knows about Gilda bullying him and all the tortures she puts him through. Sunset would have to try to put end to that.

"What's wrong Sunset?" Asked Fluttershy as she was holding her bunny rabbit named Angel in her arms. "You seem distracted."

"Nothing it's just." She then paused for a moment as kept thinking on how to approach Shinji but couldn't figure out the answer. "Hey, what do you guys know anything about Shinji Ikari?"

Her friends looked at her then at each other. "Why you asked darling?" asked Rarity. "You wouldn't be...interested in him are you?"

Sunset Shimmer shook her head with a small blush. "It's not like that Rarity. It's just every time I look at him he just looks...depressed. Like something inside him is broken or something. I can't really put my finger on it but I feel something...off about him."

"Well, I don't know much about the sad feller," said Applejack raising her hat a little. "Shinji actually works at my farm. He helps pick out the apples and milks the cows and what not. He doesn't talk much and is usually a loner. Try to friendly with him but he seems to just keep his distance. Like he's afraid of us hurting him or something."

"Weeeell, Now that I think about it." Rainbow Dash paused for a moment as she tried to remember. "From what I've heard from the swim team, Shinji's been going to the school's pool by himself. Rumor has it that he even goes to the pool at night time."

"Is he part of the swim?" asked Sunset Shimmer.

"I think so, or at least he used to be," R.D answered. Than Fluttershy step into the conversation.

"This one time when I was being picked on by Gilda, Shinji stepped in and offered himself to be beaten up instead of me. At first, I thought he did that cause he cared." Said Fluttershy as fed Angel bunny. "But the more I think about it. It was almost like he wanted to get beaten up."

"What makes you say that?" asked Applejack cocking her eyebrow.

"I-i'm not sure. Perhaps I'm over thinking it." Said Fluttershy. "When I tried to thank him he just walked away before I could even help him up."

"Well, when I first met him, I found him sitting alone in an alleyway. What he was wearing terrible." Said Rarity in disgust as she couldn't stand ugly clothing. "It was one of the most atrocious clothing I've ever seen. I wouldn't even consider it clothes. Anyway, I've generously given him some new clothes but he declined and said he would rather have something simple. Such a shame that he'd rather have simple plan clothes like a white collared shirt and some regular old jeans. I would have given him something more fashionable to wear."

"Really?" Asked Sunset. "What was he wearing?

"It was ugly." Rarity Responed. "The material wasn't even made out of anything used for clothes. It was a rubbery purple bodysuit. It was almost like a diver's suit but it looked like it was made for something else."

"And what about you Twilight?" asked Sunset as she wanted to change the subject. "Do you know anything about Shinji?"

Twilight shook her head in response. "No, I haven't even spoken to him yet."

Then suddenly Pinkie pie zoomed in "Don't worry girls I've actually invited him to one of my special parties tomorrow. It will just be him and us." Said Pinkie pie as she puts her arms around Twilight and Sunset Shimmer. "and also Flash Sentry."

"Flash Sentry?!" Sunset Spurted as was taken back as her face turned red. "W-why did you invite him??"

"Well duh, Shinji does need a guy friend right?" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.

"...Yeah, I-I suppose you have a point there." Sunset sadly admitted. It was always awkward between her and him. She never did tell Flash Sentry that she was sorry for being such a horrible jerk but she understands why Pinkie invited him. She wouldn't blame him for still hating her.

After Shinji was done with school he went to therapy. Shinji was lying down comfortably on a chair as he listens to his therapist. The room looked very relaxing. It was mute from most of the sounds from the outside. The only thing he could hear was the tick-tock sound from the clock.

"Now Shinji, in order for me to understand your problem. I need you to try to open yourself up to me a little. What painful trauma from the past caused you to shut yourself off everyone?" asked the therapist as he was ready to write down whatever Shinji was about to say.

Shinji lay there quietly. He had a hard time trying to tell the therapist his problems due to how painful the memories were. He would rather just jump off a building than remember all the horrible things that have happened to him. All he wanted was to avoid talking about the past as much as possible. The past was dead to him and he rather keep it that way.

"Shinji please, I'm only trying to help you. I can't do it unless you talk to me." said the therapist in a calm voice.

Shinji really didn't want to but he had to in order to better medication. He was tired of seeing the past come back and hunt him. "Well, fourteen year- I-I mean before I came to this town." Shinji corrected himself as he didn't want to make himself sound older than he looks. The story had to sound believable or else the therapist would think he making stuff up."I was called by my father to...do something for him that I really didn't want to do. I hated him so much cause he only called me over to his job if he needed me. Nothing else. After doing the work he wanted me to do I always felt I got nothing out of it. No thank yous, nothing. However, over time I made some friends who respect me but then I wonder."

"What is it do you wonder Shinji?" asked the therapist.

"Did they respect me cause they loved me for me? or they only respect me cause I pilot the- I-I mean..."Shinji paused as tried to speak carefully. He had to remind himself that angels and Evas don't exist in this world. "Did only like me cause I'm part of my father's work."

"Well respect and liking someone is two deferent things. Respect has nothing to do with liking someone. Did you feel that they only liked you cause you were part of your father work?"

"...It felt that way sometimes." said the relaxed Shinji as he tried to remember everything that happened to him. "Even from the people who were close to me. And perhaps I was right. Maybe they only did like me cause I was part of my dad's science project. But the other part of me keeps telling me that is not entirely true. The love was there. The love was real."

"So what happened next?"

Then came the even darker memories. The ones Shinji refused to think about. "One day...something terrible happened. I-I was trying to save a friend a-and...I-I did something. Something that I wasn't even aware I could do. There...was...a-a horrible incident."Shinji tears flowed down his cheeks. He stuttered every word. He was too sad and too afraid to remember what happened next. "A-and...everyone...I knew...everyone t-that was close..to me...t-they betrayed me." Shinji started to break down as he couldn't continue anymore. Just thinking about it drove him insane. It drove him Into madness.

"Shinji, Shinji," The therapist than walked up to and kneeled in front of him Shinji it's okay. "Shinji it's okay. I can tell whatever happened to you before must have been traumatic. But remember whoever those people are, can't hurt you anymore. Just remember the past is that past." Even the therapist tried to help Shinji, even his words couldn't help the broken boy. The boy was broken, no one can help him. He has no one in this new world. No family, no friends.

Later on that same day it was night time and school was closed but despite that Shinji stood there overnight in the school's pool. The lights were off but the light in the pool remained on. He was bottom of the pool, drowning out all the noise from everything. It helped him think. It helped him focus.

"I'm free. There is no Nerv. No father, No Wille, No Misato. No angels or Evas. There is no one left who can hurt me. I've escaped that madness. I've escaped that cruel world. But why do I still feel trapped?" Shinji thought to himself as remained floating at the bottom of the pool. "I don't understand. Is it because of this world treating me terribly? No...I don't think so. Why?... Why can't I move on?"

He felt very relaxed in the pool. He didn't care if the school was closed. He just wanted to forget his worries. Allowing those memories to fad deep inside his mind. When he opened his eyes saw Rei appear before him again as she was standing in front of him at the bottom of the pool as well. Just like before he knew his mind was playing tricks. He never understood why he kept seeing her. Did he love her that much?

After Shinji was done swimming he decided to head back to the tent where he lived. He decided to cut across the school's garden as he wanted to make a short cut. When he got to the school's garden he saw very pretty it was. The rock formation was a nice touch too. There were so many types of flowers Shinji didn't know any of there names. Before Shinji could continue he noticed someone was still working on it as they had the lantern on. Shinji recognized who it was as he noticed the familiar messy green hair and the striped sweater.

"Wallflower?"

"Aaah!!" shouted Wallflower as she quickly got up as she was startled by Shinji. "S-shinji?" She said in surprise. "W-what are you doing here so late?"

"Oh, I uh." Shinji scratched the back of his head. "Just went for a late night swim." He gave a fake laugh trying to hide his true feelings.

"...Oh" The was long silence between the two. Shinji wanted to talk to her a little more but couldn't figure out what to talk about. "Nice night isn't it?"

"Yeah...I guess." Shinji signed as this started to look awkward. "Well um, good night. I'll see you tomorrow." Shinji continued to across the garden but then was stopped by Wallflower's voice.

"Wait." Wallflower than looked at Shinji. "I... wanted to..apologize." She said as she placed her hand and her left arm, messaging it.

"...for what?"

"For being such a jerk earlier. I-I was in a bad mood and I shouldn't have taken it out on you," she said feeling a bit guilty.

"Don't be," Shinji replied with a smile. "I'm a pervert after all."

Wallflower giggled a little. "I never really...meant that." Then she played with her hair a little. "I don't think you're a pervert Shinji."

"It's fine if you really think that," said Shinji as he fakely laughed it off. "I actually used to get that a lot."

"So Shinji, are you really from Japan? What's it like?" she asked out of curiosity.

"It's really nice. The weather is always nice and the people are very polite" Than Shinji stopped as he couldn't figure out what to say next. "So uh, is this your garden?"

Wallflower expected him to tell her more about it but shrugged it off for now. "Well, technically it's the schools but I did make this garden all on my own."

"Wow, really?" said Shinji as he was impressed at how beautiful her garden is. "You made this all by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm actually the president of the gardening club." Wallflower then suddenly frowned. "I'm and also the only member." She looked at Shinji as she realized something. "You're actually the only other person who's got to see this garden."

"Really? I'm really the only one," he asked in surprise

"Yep" She replied in a smile. "Hey Shinji, do you wanna-" Wallflower wanted to ask Shinji something but couldn't get herself to finish what she wanted to say as she blushed a little under her cheeks. "If you want ah-...Never mind, its nothing." Wallflower then grabbed her stuff and went home. "Later Shinji."

Shinji stared at Wallflower as she walked away. He was wondering what she wanted to ask him. He decided to just leave it be as he continued to way home.

Later on, as he walked through the woods he suddenly stopped to up at the stars. He loved looking at the stars, there was something about it that gave him hope. Shinji smiled as they looked so beautiful. He even saw a shooting star. Maybe it was time he started opening up a little. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea but then again this world was nothing like the world he came from. Then again maybe he shouldn't. Shinji was very indecisive on what he wanted to do.

"Tomorrow is Pinkie Pie's party. Should really go?" Shinji asked himself. It made him feel very uncomfortable at the idea of being surrounded by people who may or may not like him. He was never really a party person but perhaps he should go just so he wouldn't hurt Pinkie Pie's feeling. "Well whatever, It's not this party is gonna change anything right?"

To be Continued

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

– Steve Maraboli