Winx Club Lite

You are Anon, and you’ve had an insane week. A couple days ago, you and your girlfriend, Celtic Savage, have came up with ‘Project NXT’, a program to create a new generation of heroes after the Rainbooms graduate from CHS. Today is going to be special. The two of you rush to Sweet Apple Acres, where the band is performing a cover of Daichi Miura’s ‘Blizzard ’. “Holy shit, dudes! That was awesome!” Said Rainbow Dash. “Yep, I think we’re about to achieve maximum-waifu-faggotry,” said Pinkie Pie. “Well, that’s putting it rather bluntly,” said Sunset. That’s when you and Celtic burst into, falling and hitting your heads in the process. “Ahh,ooh. It feels like I’ve just been skull fucked by the tin-man. Sunny Buns helped you up. “What’s on, Anon?” Sunset said. “Booms, did you not hear? The motherfucking Winx Club went on the Joe Rogan podcast, and they were totally talking shit about you girls. “Really? I’ll be the judge of that!” Dash pulled out her phone, and pulled up the Joe Rogan Podcast. Sure enough, Bloom Sparx, Stella Flare, Flora Lymphea, Tecna Zenith, Musa Melody, and Aisha Tydez were jacking around and laughing with Joe Rogan.

“Damn, Bloom… I can’t believe you were to get THAT high!”

“Well, Mr.Rogan. Domino has the best weed in the magic dimension,” said Bloom

“It is also my understanding that you got the other Winx into Pro-Wrestling?”

“That’s right!”

“Cool, let’s play a game. I’ll name some magical girls and factions, you associate them with certain wrestlers. Got It?”

“OK, shoot!

“You girls?”

“John Cena,”

“Hehe, the Totally Spies?”

“Well, considering that they apparently sexually awoken an entire generation, I’d say either Joey Ryan, or D-Generation X,” said Stella with a smirk.

“OG She-Ra?”

“Don’t make it too easy, uh…Hulk Hogan, minus the cunty bullshit!

“New She-Ra?”

“Pre-Leukemia Roman Reigns,”

“Jesus fuck… Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts,”

“Easy, THE ROCK!”

“Fucking classic, and finally, The Rainbooms?

Bloom scratched the back of her head thoughtfully. “I actually don’t have a wrestler for these girls. While they have a cute gimmick, I can’t really say anything other than…well…they’re a cheap-ass wannabe version of us. Basically, Winx Club Lite. Sure, they captured some major Ws, but I feel like the Winx have become something of a measuring stick. There have been many times where we’ve heard the buzz behind something or someone, but, from the Crystal Gems to the Mysticons, and everyone in between, when it’s time to see what’s up, they don’t seem to measure up to the hype. The Rainbooms have yet to prove that they measure up,” she explained.

“Well shit, before we end this show, do you think you can hook me up with some of that weed from Domino?” Joe asked. “Sure, if you don’t mind cosmic horror,” Bloom said, half-jokingly.

With that, the video ended, The Rainbooms looked at the screen, and at each other. Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. “Winx Club Lite? WINX CLUB LITE?!? I KNOW THOSE FREAKIN’ HAS-BEENS DID NOT JUST CALL US OUT!” She raged. Sci-Twi Sparkle placed a hand on her shoulder. “Simmer down, Dash. We’ll figure something out,” she said. You give Celtic you phone, as her’s it dead. She turned on the camera. “So, Winx Club decided to talk some shit about the Rainbooms, huh? Well…WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS? These guys think they’re it. Think they’re that good shit. These fuckers talk more shit than I fucking do! Tell you what, you phony little twats, why don’t you get your punk asses in the ring and mix it up with the Booms,”

Celtic’s tirade was disrupted when Rainbow Dash snatched the phone from her.

“So, Winx Club Lite, huh? Listen, you banjo-built bitches. We can kick your butts! Anytime! Anywhere!” The belligerent blue bitch ranted.

Sunset blinked. “You know what? Screw it. Rainbow, point the phone towards me,” she said. Rainbow obliged. “Winx Club, we do respect you, but you stepped where you should not have stepped. You see, YOU are the ones who need prove that you ‘measure up’. How about we see who truly measures up. The Rainbooms versus the Winx Club. We can call it, ‘G1 HYPERCARD’ for all of the bragging rights. “Let’s see if you still measure up, you know where to find us, bitches. Oh, and by the way, at least we don’t dress up like very expensive hookers!” Sunset took a deep breath. I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. In any case, Anon, you can upload that or delete it, I don’t care which,” she said passively.

You immediately upload it. “Youtube Gold, here I come,” you say as you run off.

The Next Day…

Pinkie runs into the Shimmer Shack with reckless abandon. “SUNSET SHIMMER!!!” Ponkers shrieked. “Hey, you don’t have to yell, I’m right here,” said Sunset. “Sorry, but look!” Pinkie pulled up the video. “Oh my Faust! It went viral over night!” Said Sunset. “And guess who retweeted? The Winx!!” Said Pinkie. Sunset pulled up her Twitter. The tweet came from none other Bloom. The fairy of the Dragon Flame.

The tweet read:

LMAO. How cute. Listen, your passion is lovely, but this is not a hill you want to die on.
Just stay in your lane, kids! XOX
-Bloom Sparx

“So, they’re still underestimating us,” The two looked up to see Rainbow Dash. “I’m calling the others, we’re taking a little field trip to Gardenia!” Rainbow group texted the others.

To: AppleJack, Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy….
Meet me at the tour bus in about an hour! We’re going to pay the Winx a little visit!

One hour later…
“Ah can’t believe we are actually going to Gardenia!” Said AppleJack. “I’ve been thinking about it, and Rainbow Dash is right. We must show the Winx that we measure up to the hype! Besides, these are the only lives we got, so we got to live big time,” Sunset mused. “Oh my…” said Fluttershy. “Damn, I should have packed some clothes,” said Rarity. “Don’t worry, Rares. This won’t take long. Dash assured. The Rainbooms got on the bus, and, after some last minutes checks, the bus began to take off. Rainbow dash closed her fist. “Just you wait, Winx. We are coming to fix your wagon!”

What will the Rainbooms do in Gardenia?

Will Rainbow Dash get her ass folded in the most cosmic sense?

Why does Sunset’s hair look like bacon?

Stay Tuned to find out!