Random idea processing and storage.
-Processing-
-Random Idea processor is encountering problems-
-Restart-
I have spent many days crawling on the ground, my legs don't work anymore... I'm not sure i'll make it, if only I wasn't banished to the badlands. I have no idea where to go, for all I know I'm crawling away from Equestria. I'm sure I made my ancestors proud with what I did, I don't regret a thing. This will by my final passage in my notebook, for I am dying. May humanity be blessed with my sacrifice for their betterment.
It is sad that we the readers, will never know what he did for us. Was his sacrifice in vain? Are we better for his sacrifice? What did he even do? We will never know, for this is all of the script Discord has given me...
Fucking Discord, he always forgets the scripts.
All I did was stare, before my eyes laid a spectacle beyond our wildest dreams. One would clearly think that within this strange fog wherein mystical creatures roam would be a paradise but I knew better. I am a lunatic, these hallucinations happen all the time. One moment i'm sleeping, the next i'm running from a flying cow. You just can't escape hallucinations like mine. The fog almost seems to call to me, asking for friendship and shared happiness. I don't listen, following my visions has always lead to suffering of those around me as well as myself, I don't care how tempting happy pony land is. I just want the pain to stop...
I watch Celestia from behind while gently stroking my Luna plushie. She can't see me, but I sure as hell can see her. We do this every day, she wakes up and does her daily rounds. I follow her and pet my Favorite pony. Luna hasn't returned yet, all I have been doing is waiting for he to arrive before I try to reveal myself. It's been YEARS, way to long in fact. It's almost as if I have arrived many years before Luna gets redeemed. But don't worry, i'll be here waiting, waiting and waiting. She will be here eventually, right? Best pony has always been there for me and she always will be. All I have to do is wait...
A pony died by my hands, royalty didn't take to kindly to the death of their citizens. I was imprisoned for crimes against Equestria. Discord himself took quite a liking to me, I don't like his attention. Being with him for any long periods of time drives you insane. He spends some time with lots of the prisoners but he spends most of that time with me. Celestia knew about Discord's shenanigans but refuses to stop him. She believes that I should be tortured by the likes of him. I forgot what the color blue was, it's almost as if I have never seen it before. If you think that's weird I also randomly stop thinking, you would think it would cause many problems but...
Ahhhh! I woke in a cold sweat. It was the same dream again. Strange apelike bipedal creatures studying and examining me on a table, slowly dissecting piece after piece. Yet when the dream reaches it's peak it ends and I wake up. I haven't told anyone about my dreams, not even Spike. I have been told by many that I have bouts of insanity and craziness. If I told anyone my teacher my disown me, I would lose a monumental opportunity to learn. I have been learning under Celestia for years, i'm not gonna let dreams of bipedal apes drag me down. I go down to the bottom floor of my large library in Canterlot to take a book of the shelf to bring to bed. "Of mice and mares..."
*Knock knock knock* They wont stop knocking! They are coming for me I know it! All I have to do is calm down and act rational. *Knock Knock Knock* Dammit! Fuck! I'm screwed, they want me dead why! I became a crying mess and hammered the floor with my hoof. I laid on the ground for several minutes sniffling, eventually I noticed that the knocking stopped and walked up to the door. I opened it to find a note on the ground. "Dear, Petrified Parchment. You took to long to get the pizza so we left it here for you, feel free to pay the next time you visit our shop. Ps: We know how you can get sometimes." Damn now they are sending spies to watch us do everything! I can never catch a break. I go back to the window and watch ponies walking on the streets.
"Dearie I'm home!" Said a feminine voice.
Shit it's the person who forces me to take pills for, for...
I was stabbed straight in my left fore arm. I'm glad I blocked that stab with my arm, it was going straight for my face. I kicked the pony who tried stabbing me with a knife, it was a unicorn. When it lost it's focus on the knife I pulled it out and straddled the fiend with my legs to make sure it couldn't escape. "Now it's just you and me, pony."
"Let me gooo!"
"You sound like a child."
"I'm only a adult child! I'm too young to die!"
"That's too bad, i'm gonna have fun anyways."
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
I spent that evening having plenty of fun, we played a series of games like Stop Bleeding, Help Me, Please Stop and Personal Hell. One thing's for sure, he did not have fun... Or live for that matter, that's what he gets for being a dick and stabbing me, only my mom is allowed to stab me and she's a tough bitch let me tell ya. it's only a matter of time before she finds me yet again. But by the time she does i'll be long gone...
-Storing-
-Random Idea processor is shutting down-
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Author's Note
-Initiate author's notes-
-Begin-
-Question - What do the readers think about my random idea generator?
Random idea processing and storage.
"Hello I am the cherry man!" Anon said.
"Who the fuck are you!" The random pony said.
Anon disappeared and a pile of cherries were left behind.
From that point forward ponies would randomly encounter the cherry man, many tales spread of him. Yet nopony knows where he came from, some have theories that he came from Discord's magic. If you ask Discord himself, he refuses to tell anyone anything other than he has no control over it.
"Ah Rarity, nice to meet you." Said the completely normal turtle siting on the tea table drinking tea.
Rarity did a back flip before turning around and greeting the turtle. "Hello turtle, how's the kids?"
The turtle's shell tore it's self off and 3 smaller turtles came out. "They are fine, but it'll be another 50 years before they can speak."
The room was deathly silent for nearly 10 minutes as Rarity and the turtle stared into each others eyes. Almost instantaneously after that, the turtles disappeared and Rarity continued her life as if they never existed.
In the days of old, there was an ancient tale of a being of flesh, he would appear when ponies know nothing but peace. This being would walk on two legs, he would bring a challenge to Equestria that friendship itself could not fix. He would challenge everything that the nation stood for and in the end, he would always get the last laugh.
No pony knows of this tale, not even the princesses. The tale is a heavily guarded secret told only between the oldest of dragons, the tale being passed from generation to generation. They wish to take advantage of the legend, should it be true. But little did they know, that every single being of the planet will be used as a pawn in his hands.
"Anon hello? Are you ok?"
'I fell on my head again, shit that hurt.'
"Anon are you hurt?"
"Yeah i'm just fine Twilight, I fall of 20 feet buildings everyday, would you stop yelling in my face please? It hurts my head."
"Oh, thank goodness your alright, I can't bare to lose my favorite study buddy."
"I can't bare to lose you either Twilight."
We stared into each others eyes and I could see her happiness for my survival, I did not kiss her. I am not worthy of kissing such a beautiful creature.
"Yeah let's get back to work, that roof isn't going to fix it's self."
"Uh, yeah but we should get you to the hospital first. You could have trauma."
"Fine I can get there myself, see you later!"
"By Anon."
