Lust in Translation

“Can you find her though?” said Shining Armor.

Twilight sighed. “Sort of? I can trace where her teleport warped space, but I can’t get more than a general location from that.”

“Well show me where you think she is, and I’ll see if I can figure it out from there.”

They were standing outside the sushi place. It had started to rain. Wet pavement reflected neon light and the glow of Twilight’s horn. Cadence’s teleport trail didn’t match the topology of Euclidian space, nor did it show much consideration for walkability. They had to walk six blocks, and then double back when the trail led through a construction site. At last, they came to a neighborhood lit by even more neon than the street market had been.

Twilight sighed and let her horn flicker out. “This is the best I could do. She could be in any one of these places. Is your hotel far from here?”

Shining Armor nodded towards the epicenter of the neon in the area. “She’s in there.” The storefront pulsed purple and green. Cartoon characters danced through primitive animations over a name that Twilight’s limited skill at Neighponese couldn’t begin to untangle.

“Is it some kind of a night club?” Twilight asked.

“It’s Cadence’s favorite place here. We’ve gone there almost every night.”

Twilight snorted. “How did you find the time? Seventy-three times? Really?”

“Cadence is… you know, she’s very energetic. Very open.”

”I’ll say she’s open.”

“Twily, come on,” said Shining, pushing his rain-damp forelock out of his eyes. “There’s no need to be mean.”

“I can’t believe you told her!” Twilight stamped, kicking up droplets from the pavement. “It was our secret! We’d promised never to mention it again! We…” she waved a forehoof, “We said we’d remove it from the timeline! Like it’d never happened!”

Shining Armor ground his teeth. “You can’t do that, Twilight. Unless you figure out how to go back in time and stop it from happening, it’s real, and it happened, and I can’t deal with pretending it didn’t. I love you, Twiliy. You know that.”

“It’s possible to travel back in time. When I get back to Canterlot I’m going to travel back and tell myself not to…” she looked around the crowded street and blushed. “…Do what we did.”

Shining Armor turned away. “Let’s just get out of the rain and find Cadence, okay?”

The line to get into the night club was very long, but the bouncer — a kirin stallion bigger than Shining and Twilight’s total combined size — saw them and pulled them out of the line.

“Your wife’s already inside, Shiny,” said the bouncer in Ponese. “She seemed upset. Everything okay?”

“I hope so, Makoto. Did you see which way she went?”

“Naw. Busy night.”

They stepped into the foyer and shook the rainwater out of their coats. “You’re on a first name basis with the door guard?” said Twilight.

“Yeah, we’ve spent a lot of money here,” said Shining Armor. “I mean, obscene amounts. More than the GDP of Griffonstone.”

“There go my tax dollars,” mumbled Twilight.

Shining Pushed the double doors to the main room of the club open with his shoulder. Music slammed Twilight in the face so hard it blew her mane back. All manner of creatures jammed a dance floor bigger than Ponyville green, bouncing up and down in approximate time with…

“Is that a DJ PON3 song?” shouted Twilight. “Way to learn about other cultures BBFF.”

“She’s huge over here!” shouted Shiny, who headed into the crowd without another word.

Twilight followed after him as best she could. A group of griffons and yaks got in between her and Shining, separating them and throwing her into confusion.

“Shining? Shining?” she called, but her voice was lost in the music and the noise.

She knew a few spells that would help her find Cadence and Shining, but with so many creatures to sort through she was worried trying one would give her a headache or make the spell lock up or both. But this place was huge! There was a stage at the far end — currently in a flurry of preparation. Somecreature was going to be performing soon. Somecreature whose act needed a lot of special effects.

Looking upwards, Twilight saw two levels of balcony. Two Harmony darned levels! “Ugh!” she said, stamping her hooves.

”Do you need help?” shouted a stranger’s voice in her ear.

Twilight yelped and turned around to see a trio of kirin – a tall brown stallion, a short orange mare, and an even shorter pale colored mare. They looked like they were dressed for work.

”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, it’s just you looked really lost, and I wondered if you could use some help,” shouted the orange mare.

Twilight might as well ask. At least they seemed friendly. ”Kind sir or madam, could you tell me how to find… um… my friend… ah.. Princess Cadence.”

”Did she really just ask up to help her find a princess?” shouted the brown stallion.

“Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Your Neighponese is really bad,” said the shorter mare in Ponese.

Twilight blushed. “Language isn’t my primary area of expertise!”

“What?” shouted the stallion.

Twilight sighed. Never mind. “She’s tall and pink and has a horn and wings!”

“Oh, right,” shouted the orange mare. “Because Equestrian princesses are alicorns! Is she really a princess?”

“Yes!” shouted Twilight.

“We haven’t seen anyone like that!”

The shorter mare pulled a tiny flat rectangular device out of her clothes. “Wait, I think I can find her. Give me a minute.” She ran her forehoof across the front of the device for a few moments and then held it up towards Twilight. “Is that her?”

The device had a picture of Cadence on it. She was staring out at the viewer, lips pushed out in a moue. A half dozen empty cups littered the table next to her. The text under the picture read: “All alone and feeling sorry for myself. I really am a big jerk. #drinkingmyfeelings #sadprincess.”

Twilight felt the same creeping feeling of unreality she sometimes experienced when talking to Pinkie Pie. “I have no idea what’s going on right now. But yes. That’s her,” she shouted.

The shorter mare's device vanished into her clothes. “Second balcony, on the right side! Look for the emergency exit sign!”

✭☆✭☆✭☆✭

Twilight found Cadence just where the tiny pale mare had said she’d be. Cadence held one of those devices, too. She put it away as Twilight approached.

“What was that?” said Twilight. The music was a little quieter up here – enough for them to talk without screaming every word.

“What was what?” said Cadence.

“Never mind. Can I sit?”

Cadence used her magic to pull an empty stool over for Twilight. “Twilight I am so sorry.”

Twilight slammed her head down on the table. “I’m sorry too. I… I don’t know. I’m mad at Shinny for telling you, but I can’t be mad at you for asking. You’re his wife. You deserve to know.”

“Well, it’s all out there now, isn’t it?” said Cadence. “So what do we do?”

“I’m the problem here. You don’t seem to care, which I don’t understand, but okay. I get the feeling Shining wants to…” she hesitated. “He seems like he loves me and it almost seems like he wants to do it again.”

Cadence rolled her eyes. “Really Twilight, do you think?”

Twilight looked up. “Why don’t you care? He’s your husband, and he did something vile.”

Cadence reached out a hoof to stroke Twilight’s mane, then stopped it halfway. Twilight took it gently in her magic and pulled it the rest of the way over. “Twilight, I’m the princess of love. I want ponies to be in love more than anything else. I… there’s no better way of saying this than that I get off on it. It’s why I like coming here. So many creatures, of all different kinds, dancing together. So full of love.”

Twilight laid her jaw on the table and closed her eyes as Cadence ran her soft hoof across her head. “That’s because a lot of them are on ecstasy, Cadence.”

“The feelings are still there. So are your feelings. I know for a fact that you love each other. You weren’t using or abusing each other. You really care. Maybe you took that too far. Maybe you didn’t take it far enough. Either way, you have to move on.”

“I don’t know how! I feel like a big baby. I’m a rational mare. I should be beyond these stupid…” she waves her hooves around her head, “…feelings!”

Cadence sat up straight on her stool. “Look at me.”

Twilight rolled her eyes to look at her sister-in-law, who was smiling with the sort of confident, compassionate serenity you’d expect to from a religious statue. ”What?”

“Twilight Sparkle: by the power vested in me by Harmony and by the Principality of Equestria, I hereby command you to stop feeling ashamed about boning your big brother.”

Twilight blinked. “But…”

“Nope. It’s over. You can regret it. But you can’t feel ashamed anymore. It’s over. You can do what you want now.”

“I’m skeptical, but okay. I’ll try. But what about you?”

Cadence shrugged. “Absolving people makes me feel better. Shiny should be here with more drinks at any moment. We can make a decision about the rest of the evening when he gets here.”

“Oh. Did you make contact with him?”

Cadence laughed. “No, he’s just that awesome. And here he is, Johnnie on the spot with fresh supplies!”

Shining walked around the balcony towards him on his hind legs, carrying a bottle of beer, a large bottle of sake, and three more little umbrella drinks. “What’s going on? Are you okay, Honey?”

“I’m fine. Fine. I upset my two favorite ponies, but I’m okay,” said Cadence.

Twilight gave Cadence a confused look. “Two favorite? Really?”

Cadence giggled. “Sunshine sunshine ladybugs awake.”

Twilight gasped, hoof on her breast in mock outrage. “You were such a naughty nanny!”

“The relationship has blossomed over time,” said Cadence, stroking Twilight’s hoof.

Shining Armor set the drinks out on the table and started pouring sake. “I see things have moved along without me.”

Cadence straightened herself up. “Right. I’m horny as fuck and drunk as an alicorn can get. I need both of you in your right minds for a second so you can make an important decision. Hold on, this is going to hurt.” Her horn glowed bright blue.

Twilight felt like she’d been hit in the head with a mallet. Her mouth felt like it was stuffed full of sand. She was suddenly acutely aware she’d been having a serious conversation about fucking her brother.

”Cadence, what did you just do?” said Shining, clutching his head.

She smirked with the beneficence of a very smug saint. “I used time magic to borrow some of your sobriety from tomorrow morning. So. You have to decide right now — do you two want to be best siblings? Or best siblings with benefits? Just so you know I strongly favor the latter. But it’s up to you.”

Twilight looked into Shining Armor’s eyes. Her head pulsed. Her mouth felt even dryer. And yet her heart — and her groin — still yearned for her brother. Ugh. Really?

“It’s wrong,” said Shining Armor. “But I love her. I mean. Not as much as I love you, Honey, obviously, but…”

Cadence stuffed a hoof over his mouth. “Save it. What about you, Twilight? Do you take this unbelievable stud — who, by the way, has been hammering me and anypony else I thought was cute at least four times a day for the past three weeks and is still ready, that’s the level of virility we’re talking about here…”

“Cadence, you’re getting off topic,” said Twilight, clutching her skull. It felt like it was about to split in half. How much was she going to drink tonight?

Cadence sighed. “Fine. Do you take Shining Armor to be your fuckbrother for as long as the arrangement works for both of you?”

Twilight’s heart — and headache — suddenly lightened. She realized that if she was honest with herself, yes. She loved BBBFF. She loved his brilliant-yet-also-very-stupid mind. She loved his big, kind heart. And she loved his bigger, constantly hard dick. “Yes. Yes. I need him.”

Shining Armor’s grin nearly split his head in half. Cadence clapped her hooves. “Yes! Great! You can be drunk again!”

Twilight’s headache vanished for a second as Cadence gave her her drunkenness back. Then a sound like a thousand wolverines being fed into a chipper shredder tore through the club.

“Oooh, the band’s starting!” said Cadence.