It had been the family dinner from Tartarus.

Twilight was halfway through her main course, her mind finally distracted from the stress of the monumental task hanging over her head… having to find some way to harvest a family member’s… essence.

But she’d managed to forget all that worry, thanks to a lovely chat she was having with her beloved sister-in-law, Cadance. She’d even brightened up enough to begin joking with her close friend and pupil, Starlight, as the two of them picked on her father’s penchant for adding cheeses to every side-dish he ever prepared.

That’s when it had hit her… or more accurately, fondled her.

A warm tendril of magic had quickly made itself familiar with her most intimate parts, sliding and probing with a practiced intensity that made her own private fumblings seem amateurish by comparison.

Immediately Twilight had glanced up in shock, trying to see just who the culprit was… this was no playful goosing or accidental grope… the rhythmic, sensual explorations were deliberate, erotic, and oh so skillful.

Her eyes caught several horns alight with magical activity, not uncommon at a unicorn dinner table as bits of food flew from plate to mouth. Even more curious was that nopony seemed to be looking at her with any interest at all. Her brother was eagerly inspecting his beautiful wife. Starlight was hastily chewing a third bread roll. Night Light was shooting waggling eyebrows at Twilight’s mother as he finished telling the same joke he’d told every night for the past fifteen years…

...and then Twilight began to orgasm.

Investigating the source of the adroitly sensual magical masturbatory field quickly became a secondary goal to concealing her effusive reaction. She shut her eyes, bowed her head, closed her mouth… and did her best not to squeak.

She always squeaked…

The next few minutes were a blur of sensation, heart-pounding fear, a cacophony of sound and stimulation as the poor alicorn did her best to blend into the background and avoid wetting herself and letting out the soft scream that was bubbling up in her gut.

Somehow, she made it through those few minutes. Somehow.

Twilight’s face was grinding against the dinner table, she’d never thought that she was going to get so up close and personal with her mother’s tablecloth… but she had to do something to conceal the sweaty, blushing, grimacing, eye-rolling mess that was her face.

“Sweetie… are you feeling alright?” Twilight Velvet’s soft, concerned tones from the head of the table drifted over to the purple alicorn’s ears.

Not now mom! Twilight’s mind raced, as she clamped her legs together, riding out the last bits of her orgasm. “Mm...Mmmhmm….” She mumbled out into the table, a final convulsive shudder making her chair squeak. Why was there always squeaking!?

At least it helped cover up the sound of dripping juices falling from the edge of her chair.

“Are you sure?” Twilight Velvet stood up, beginning to gather the plates. “Is it your tummy again? I told Night Light to go easy on the cheese… He knows it gives you the toots.”

“M-mooomm….” Twilight groaned. As if the situation couldn’t get any more embarrassing.

“Oh, don’t worry, Mrs. Velvet, her friends and I know all about Twilight’s…’toots’!” Starlight tried to hold back her mirth but failed… her chuckles escaping her hoof-covered mouth.

Great, now I’ll never hear the end of ‘Twilight’s toots’... Twilight groused internally as she pulled herself up from the table. Her breaths came in raggedy huffs, her face was a rosy-pink of exertion. Cadance had left the table to trot off with Night Light into the living room, leaving only her brother sitting on the other end of the table.

Her brother, who was now staring at her with the fear of Celestia in his eyes… a grim, ashen-faced mask of terror, locked on her face with such intensity that it was clear who the culprit had been.

Twilight’s jaw set forward in anger, her brows pinching together accusatorily as she growled silently across the table at her older brother. It was YOU!

Twilight slammed her hoof on the table and began to stand up, ready to berate Shining for… whatever this horrible prank had been.

But he beat her to the punch, standing up so quickly his chair toppled over behind him. “T-t-twilight, can I talk to you alone, please?” His eyes were begging, pleading with her…

“Fine.” Twilight said, as coldly as possible, before leaving the table, making very sure to tuck in her chair so as not to reveal the puddle left behind… and tucking her tail in tightly to try to keep the scent of her arousal as contained as possible.

The two trotted off to the kitchen, leaving just Starlight and Velvet at the dinner table.

“I wonder what THAT was about.” Starlight questioned, looking over at the departing siblings.

“Oh, those two are always getting all mixed up together… always have, always will.” Velvet sighed, pouring another generous helping of red wine into her glass.

“Twilight, I-I am so sorry.” Shining looked like he was about to throw up from anxiety.

“Just what the bucking HAY were you doing?” Twilight hissed through her teeth.

“I thought you were Cadance!” Shining rushed out as quickly as he could.

“What!?” Twilight half-snarled, prodding her brother’s big chest with a hoof. “And-and… you just do… THAT to Cadance in the middle of a family dinner?”

“Well… I mean… sometimes, Cadance is pretty aggressive…” Shining was still mortified, the horror on his face easily apparent. “It gets us into messes like this all the time… well… not quite like this...”

“Just how could you not… tell!?” Twilight snarled.

“It was under the table! I’ve never been good at sensing where my field is if I can’t see it.”

“Still… didn’t you realize that something was… different?”

“I mean…” Shining rubbed a hoof through his mane. “I thought it was a little tighter to squeeze into, but honestly it all feels pretty similar down there.”

Twilight’s face flared up with a new wave of embarrassment. She didn’t want to think about her brother having any idea about what her… down there felt like! “G-gross! Stop thinking about what my… what it feels like!”

“You asked!” Shining stammered.

“Still!” Twilight snorted and threw her head back in frustration.

“Again, Twily… I’m so sorry. I never meant to do that. Are you… are you OK?”

“What do you mean?”

Shining swallowed quickly, his eyes flicking back and forth as he searched for the right words in this very delicate situation. “Uh… I didn’t… it wasn’t… bad or anything… was it?”

Twilight’s blush deepened a few shades… now firmly into burning, volcanic crimson territory. “N-no… it… didn’t feel... bad.”

“Ah…” Shining rubbed the back of his head, “So… it was… OK?”

“Just what exactly are you asking!?” Twilight huffed with frustration. “Yeah, I came, is that what you wanted to hear? Sheesh!”

Now it was Shining’s turn to turn red, which was much more visible with his white fur as background. “N-no!” His eyes wide with shock and discomfort at this new fact. “I didn’t need to know that! I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you! Oh geez… I really didn’t need to know that.”

Twilight froze with even further embarrassment. She tried for a few moments to reboot her brain, to take her hoof from out of her mouth… but she failed. “This couldn’t get any worse…” She sagged in defeat, doing her best to study the floor between her hooves.

“H-hey Twily, chin up…” Shining forced out a little chuckle, “it absolutely could have been worse.” Shining put a wry grin on as he tried to cheer his little sister up. “At least I didn’t end up giving dad a magical prostate exam.”

“Pffft….” Twilight couldn’t help but chuckle, glad to let off a little bit of the tension and laugh with her BBBFF, like nothing had happened.

Shining sighed with relief, still inspecting his little sister closely… Twilight could tell that his joking was him attempting to ease the situation for her, to make everything all right… she knew that he was feeling just awful about what he’d done. He’d always been a great big brother, trying to make sure she was OK when she was in trouble or feeling down.

Twilight didn’t want him to feel awful. Not over some honest mistake.

“I really, really need to give you a remedial lesson on non-visual telekinetic positioning.” Twilight giggled, shooting the first smile in minutes at her brother. “There’s a fantastic lecture series by Maester Blind Bat on methodologies you can use if you are unable to see where your field is.”

Instantly she could see the tension melt from his face. He could see that she was OK, that he hadn’t permanently damaged or changed the relationship… Twilight felt something sink in the pit of her stomach as that thought flashed through her head: No, the pony who’s going to do that is ME.

“So, we can forget this whole horrible thing ever happened?” Shining chuckled slightly at his nerdy little sister, “I mean… I owe you one something huge - I’ll definitely make it up to you.”

“Oh, hay yes you will.” Twilight laughed. “I’m thinking you’ll pay for my amarezon.com book account for the next month.”

Shining’s mouth dropped open slightly as he mentally ran the calculations of just how many hundreds of bits his little sister’s reading habit could cost him. “R-really? A whole month? I did get you off… shouldn’t that buy me a little credit?”

“Shining!”

“Kidding! Just kidding sis!” Shining danced away from his sister’s playful swat as both laughed, all the awkwardness and tension dissipated.

For a moment, that was.

Twilight suddenly felt that pit in her stomach return. There was a monumental task in front of her. But she couldn’t reveal it to her brother, not yet… “Actually Shining… forget about the amarezon account… just… remember you owe me one… ok?”

Shining smiled and gave his sister a quick hug.

“Of course.”

“Also… I have to talk to Cadance.”

Shining pulled back from his sister to look her in the face, there was no way that he could miss the worry and concern that had returned. “About… this?”

Twilight sighed, “Y-yes… and some other things.”

Shining nodded solemnly. “No problem Twily, I don’t keep anything from her… she’ll tear my horn off for a bit then make fun of me for weeks… but I was going to tell her anyway… if you don’t mind - can you let me tell her first?”

Twilight nodded. “S-sure… if you don’t mind could you chat with her soon? I… I need to ask her for… permission… for something else.”

Shining raised a curious eyebrow, unsure what his little sister was scheming that could have her so tense. He ruffled her hair slightly before he turned away from her and started to head back toward the dining room, speaking back over his shoulder. “Whatever it is, Twily… don’t stress over it! Cadance is the most understanding pony in all Equestria. I’m sure she’ll say there’s no problem with whatever it is you need.”

Twilight stared at her departing big brother’s butt - Just why did it have to look so cute? - before mumbling under her breath.

“That’s what I’m afraid of."

After the pair returned to the dining room, they saw that the whole family was pitching in to quickly clear the table and get everything set away. Unicorn (and alicorn) magic made these things so much simpler. A few flashes of magic and the dinnerware was sparkling, stacked, and back in the cabinets.

Starlight and Twilight headed into the living room, though not before Twilight noticed her brother tap on his wife’s shoulder and ask her if he could have a moment with her in private. The two trotted up into Shining Armor’s old bedroom, still preserved by their parents after all these years - just like her own.

It was hard not to imagine how the conversation was going behind those doors. Was Cadance tearing into Shining Armor? Was she angry at Twilight? Twilight’s racing thoughts were interrupted by her friend Starlight, who poked her out of her spinning thoughts.

“Twilight?” Starlight asked with a cocked head, “Are you OK? You’ve been kind of… spaced out all evening.”

“Mmhm.” Twilight nodded, turning to face her friend.

“Are you stressing out about… uh… collecting from your brother?” Starlight wasn’t teasing her friend now, she could see that Twilight was nervous, and as much as Starlight Glimmer loved to be an impish troll, she cared deeply about her friends’ wellbeing.

“How could I not?” Twilight groaned, “...and you don’t even know what happened at dinner.”

“Well, it’s not like you have to worry about this right now... you can do it at some other time… wait until Shining and Cadance are back in the Crystal Empire and go to meet them there… wait… what happened at dinner?”

“Honey? Starlight?” Velvet, Twilight’s mother, interrupted from the doorway to the living area. “Sorry to interrupt you two, but Night Light and I are going to retire early… whenever he gets that cheese in him, he gets so… frisky.”

“Mom!” Twilight turned and stomped her hoof, her wings fluttering slightly in discomfort, “too much information!”

“Oh please!” Velvet chuckled, dismissing her daughter’s dismay with a dismissive hoof. “We’re all grown mares here. I just wanted to let you young kids know that the wine cellar and Nighty’s liquor cabinet are at your disposal.” Night Light strode past the older mare as she spoke, flicking her side with his tail and nipping at the unicorn’s ear, making her chuckle.

“Oh Nighty stop, you’re horrible.” Velvet giggled, swatting him playfully.

Night Light nuzzled his wife’s neck, growling playfully as he tried to hurry his wife toward the stairs. “C’mon my lovely Velvet lovebird… let’s go put that old bedframe out of its misery. I’m going to put your horn right through the headboard.”

“DAD!” Twilight’s hooves clapped to her ears, even as her wings slipped wider, “Way too much information!” Velvet and Night Light laughed as they retired to the staircase.

“See you in the morning, honey, Starlight!” Velvet called as they clopped up the stairs.

“Don’t open the door unless you hear screaming… actually, just don’t open the door!” Night Light chuckled, hip-checking his wife’s rump.

Starlight looked over to Twilight with a bemused grin. “Just what the hay is with your parents?”

“Gah, you have no idea what it was like growing up with those two.”

“Well, I can imagine.”

“No… no you really ca-”

“Twilight?” Cadance’s voice interrupted the two Ponyvillians, she and Shining had quietly glided into the living room. “Shining said that you had something important to ask me about?”

Twilight spun and faced the voice, the hackles on her back rising involuntarily. “Y-yes!” She squeaked out.

A comforting hoof rubbed the middle of her back, and Starlight’s friendly voice filled her left ear. “Don’t worry about it Twilight - Cadance will understand.”

Twilight nodded and rose to her hooves, walking over to her sister-in-law and former babysitter with a meek, unsure expression. She passed her guilty looking brother who shot her a smile and a supportive wink.

“Don’t look so stressed, Twily.” Shining ruffled his sister’s mane. “Cadance doesn’t bite, I promise… much!”

Cadance rolled her eyes and looked over at her husband with a stare. “Oh… ruffling her hair, that’s nice of you, sweetie… so I guess you do know where it is appropriate to touch your little sister, after all?”

Shining’s gulp was as loud as a sneeze. “Y-yes… C-cadie…”

Cadance extended a wing around her little sister-in-law, steering her away from her husband as she stuck her tongue out at him. “Honestly, making jokes already… you’re deep in the doghouse, buster.”

Shining Armor’s ears folded back, and he whimpered, tail tucked between his legs while he strode into the living room to slink next to Starlight Glimmer.

“C’mon Twilight,” Cadance smiled, “Let’s go have a quick girl chat, just you and me…” Cadance looked back over her shoulder and barked a command at her husband. “Shining! No ‘accidentally’ sexually assaulting Starlight Glimmer while I’m not monitoring you, understood!?”

Starlight cocked her head and raised an eyebrow in confusion… but still shuffled a foot away from the whimpering unicorn stallion in caution.

“C-cadie! Y-you know I d-”

“Don’t you ‘Cadie’ me! I mean it!” She pointed a hoof at her eyes then at Shining. “Starlight, watch out for this guy.” Cadance shot a wink at the purple unicorn. “C’mon, Twilight.”

The two trotted down Twilight’s familiar hallway, the door shutting softly behind them under the glow of Cadance’s skillful magic.

“First off, Cadance, I’m s-”

“Shh!” Cadance wrapped her sister-in-law with a deep hug, hushing her and stifling her before she could get started. “You don’t have anything to complain about Twilight, that was one hundred percent that big oaf’s fault.”

Twilight smiled shyly, a blush touching her cheeks, before she kicked at the floor.

Cadance was looking at her with a considered, knowing smile. “And Twilight… don’t beat yourself up about how much you liked it either…”

Twilight looked up at her with terror, wings snapping out in alarm. ’How did she know… how?

“I… I didn’t… I mean… I don’t-”

“Shh…” Cadance lifted a hoof to Twilight’s mouth, shushing her once again. “Twilight.” Cadance looked at her with earnest intensity and a knowing glance. “You know I’m the Princess of Love, right? That means all types of love. All of them.”

Twilight cocked her head slightly. “I… I still don’t…”

Cadance sighed and shook her head softly. “I know it’s something we haven’t ever really had occasion to discuss, well… at least since I’ve been old enough to completely step into my role.” She sat on Twilight’s bed and tapped the space next to her, inviting the younger alicorn to sit next to her.

“There’s all sorts of different love, Twilight.” Cadance grinned. “Familial love, parental love, friendly love, fantastical love… and erotic love.”

Twilight blushed, starting to take a breath and prepare a reply. But once again the alicorn cut her off.

“I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with feeling that kind of erotic love with another consenting being. Nothing.” Cadance patted Twilight on the knee. “Even if it’s with your friends… or your brother.”

Twilight’s wings shot out in fear and she looked at the pink alicorn with the whites of her eyes as wide as saucers. “I don’t…. I would never… I don’t feel that way about Shining.”

Cadance simply softly smiled back at her, patient, understanding. She would let her silence accuse the younger alicorn of the lie she’d just told.

“I don’t.” Twilight repeated, hoping her words sounded more believable.

“Twilight. I just told you that I’m the princess of love. There’s no hiding any of this from me, don’t you understand?” Cadance seemed to radiate with pink warmth, belying her godly powers. “It’s laid bare to me like an open book.”

Twilight felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest. Her fear and anxiety had just been rising minute after minute as the conversation had gone on. Now Cadance was accusing… no… confirming feelings that she’d buried deep down for so long. Her eyes raced toward the door and then to her window, the fight or flight instinct kicking in hard for the little lavender equine. She began to charge her horn to teleport away.

“Twilight. Stop.” Cadance scolded. “Talk to me.”

Like a fine wineglass clenched too tightly in a mare’s hooves, Twilight shattered into pieces.

With a desperate sob she buried her head in her hooves and began to spill things she’d never dared to speak aloud. “It-it’s true… I’m SO sorry. It’s not even really a big thing… just a little fantasy I had when I was a young filly… and then I never stomped it out and sometimes when I was lonely and I didn’t have any romance paperback novels and so sometimes I would imagine ShiningarmorandohmyCelestiaI’mgoing toTartarussssss…..” Twilight’s rattling confession quickly blurred into a single unending incoherent stream of excuses.

“Shh… shh… shh…” Cadance chuckled. “Don’t be such a silly filly Twilight. It’s perfectly normal, and far more common than you’d think. And like I said, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m fairly certain there are several laws against it, at the least.”

“Not in the Crystal Empire. Nor with any visiting diplomats from the Empire, which would include Shining… and at my pleasure, you as well.” Cadance chuckled. “Besides, those rules were only put in place because Celestia was getting tired of dealing with those noble houses that were inbreeding desperately to cling to power with no regard to love.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to tell someone as intelligent as you about the low genetic risk…”

Twilight nodded. “But if you multiply it over a bunch of generations, over and over…”

“...aaand that’s how you get Prince Blueblood.” Cadance sighed.

“Ugh. That… makes sense, now that I think about it.” Twilight chuckled.

“Yeah, but those laws won’t be around much longer. Besides, since when could laws ever stop love?” Cadance chuckled, prodding Twilight.

Twilight’s brief chuckle faded. She began to slump again. “That’s not the only thing that should stop it though… there’s you, there’s Shining, there’s what everypony would think. I just want you to know that it was all just fantasy. I would never have acted upon it.”

Cadance laughed again and wrapped Twilight up in a big hug. “Oh silly, I wasn’t suggesting you should. I know you’re not comfortable with these things… yet.”

Twilight nodded.

“Well… I guess that’s not entirely accurate if Shining’s description of the puddle you left on your chair is to be believed.” Cadance waggled her eyebrows.

“Cadance!” Twilight squeaked, her face as pink as a Ponyville baker. “Please don’t remind me!”

“Tell me, I’m curious.” Cadance grinned evilly. “When you fantasize about him… just how large do you think he is?”

Twilight’s wings, already partially extended, throbbed to full width. “C-Cadance!”

“You know he’s gotten a lot bigger in most places since you were both young, right?” Cadance chuckled.

“Cadance! Gahhh!” Twilight tried to plug her ears with her hooves.

The pink alicorn couldn’t help but continue to tease her. “I mean, when your mom told me that if Shining had taken after your dad, I’d be in for a rough first night, I believed her… but WOW, talk about hauling a log between your legs.”

“LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT MY BROTHER AND FATHER HAVING GIANT STALLIONHOODS LALALALA!” Twilight shouted out loud, her ears still plugged.

After she’d had her chuckle, Cadance reached forward and gingerly lifted the hooves from either side of Twilight’s ears.

“Just promise me that if you’re ever interested, you won’t let what other ponies think affect your decision.” Cadance paused as Twilight cocked her head at her with confusion. “That includes me. I don’t think you’d be surprised to hear that I can be a bit… adventurous. Especially when it comes to the ponies I love.”

Twilight could do little more than swallow under the predatory smile of the alicorn. “And… Shining Armor?”

“Oh… well,” Cadance chuckled as she stood up and stretched her neck, “I don’t want to spoil all the reveals in one evening, especially if you’re not comfortable with it… but let's just say there’s a reason I suggested that these sorts of feelings and fantasies are more common than you’d think. I can sense it in ponies near me… All. The. Time.”

The blood pounding through Twilight’s head made it feel like her ears were ringing… or on fire. Could bells burn? Her brain was filled with malfunctioning thoughts as she found it impossible to process what her sister-in-law had just implied. Her mouth worked up and down like a fish out of water as she struggled and failed to find words.

“Hee hee! Did I provide you with some good material for your next lonely night?” Cadance chuckled as she headed toward the door. “I promise not to tease you on this anymore tonight, you made it clear that you’re still uncomfortable with this… so don’t stress over it.” She flicked her tail playfully as she headed to the door back to the hallway and the living room.

Pausing as she put her hoof on the doorknob, she turned back to her still stunned sister. “Now I assume that was what you were so stressed out about, right? The whole misunderstanding at the table and your feelings?”

“I need Shining Armor’s cum.” Twilight blurted out. “Like, right now.”

“Huh?” Now it was Cadance’s turn to be stunned.

“You know… uh ejaculate, semen or the spermataz-”

“Baby batter, stud frosting, wild oats, colt cream, foal filling… Yes, Twilight I’m aware of the word, its definition and the vernacular.” Cadance groaned before slapping a hoof against her head. “The question I meant to ask, is why?”

“Science?” Twilight tried, herself still recovering from the exhaustion of having made her second massive confession related to her brother’s dangly bits in less than ten minutes.

“Uh uh Sister, that excuse isn’t going to fly.”

“No really! And the fate of Equestria could depend on it too.”

Cadance sighed again. “Details, please Twilight.”

Detail is something you should always be careful asking for from a stressed-out, anxious, nerdy, alicorn book horse.

Cadance suffered through an excruciatingly precise five minute lecture on Starswirl’s potion, how she and Starlight had discovered it, then found out that the key reagent was stallion semen, then even further that the critical potion in question required the semen to be harvested by an alicorn… from a member of her own family. Hence the predicament.

Twilight finished, flopping back on the bed with exhaustion.

Cadance grinned at the collapsed younger-alicorn, her whole aura glowing pink with anticipation at such an opportunity to get two of her most beloved ponies to express their love for one another in such a raw way…

She opened the door and nodded her head at the hallway. “C’mon Twilight… I think helping with this kind of thing is right along my area of expertise.”

Author's Note

This was a fun one to finish off! It was meant to be extremely light-hearted and fun.

Lots of jokes, lots of silliness, lots of characters acting at the 'limit' of their usual characterization.

Let me know what you thought! I don't always do comedy.