Chapters A Lonely and Shameful Beginning
Wawaka, Indiana. 1970.
Tobias O'Leary, or Toby as his friends liked to call him, was ashamed to be alive.
Well, maybe that was a little harsh, but he thought about this often as he drove around the lake that dominated the small community in northern Indiana. Small, isolated, forgotten - you rarely saw any young couples here. The place was chalk full of retired families, but there were several very young families living on the south shore of the lake.
Did Toby care about any of these things? No, not necessarily - but you tended to notice these things when you drive in circles around a lake so much that you could brand the trees around with names and remember each and every one of them.
Most of the Wawakans see his car drift by once a day, and often think to themselves What is wrong with that man - running away from a war like he did? Shame on him!
Whether or not they were really thinking these things, Toby could only guess. Some would say that God would know, and tell him not to worry about it - that was all anyone would tell him nowadays. Don't worry about it. Everything will be fine.
Everything was not fine, however. Not in the remotest sense. No exceptions, no buts, no technicalities. Nothing had been fine since that cursed war. The war that had literally ruined his life inside and out.
Vietnam.
When most people think about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they imagine energetic flashbacks of explosions and screaming people or whatever, and that may be true for some - but for Toby, he was convinced that it was all wrong. It was not often that he saw explosions, but when he did, it involved a friend or fellow American - someone he felt connected with.
Before the war, everything had been perfectly fine - Toby had been fresh out of Middlebury High School, not far from where he lived, ready to face the opportunity and blessings life had given him. He was second in his GPA, behind only the valedictorian - his best friend, Carter McGlaggen.
The two of them were unstoppable when it came to smarts - Toby could remember his father's face one day when he came home with a box full of medals and honors from all sorts of academic competitions - the Regional Spelling Bee, the school's Geography Bee, the Math and Science Bowls... the box had to have weighed at least thirty pounds. The pride his parents expressed in him that day made him feel more elated than he would have felt if he had owned the world.
That was three years ago. Three long, excruciating, tormenting, hot, insufferable years.
Toby and Carter - the dynamic duo, able to solve any issue or question thrown at them, awaiting their promised scholarships to Oxford... thrown into the war before any sort of second opinion could be made. And, thus, their futures were dumpster-fired.
Toby could remember the day when they came to see him - was a Wednesday? Or a Thursday? It didn't matter, at any rate - he had been relaxing, enjoying the pleasant anticipation of receiving the reply from Oxford, which was due later that week.
He could remember the soft ding that resonated from the happy little bell over the parlor door, and he remembered lazily looking over to see who the newcomers were.
Army Recruitment Officers - two of them. He smirked bitterly at the memory. He had thought he was safe from the stupid war, with his promised attendance to Oxford and all of that good stuff. He recalled the moment of hesitation when the officers scanned the room and caught his eye. They made a beeline for him, and took a seat in the booth seat across from him without invitation.
One long and painful argument later, he found himself packing his bags and heading to California - good 'ol Cali. From there he was told that he would be sent to the naval base in the Philippine Islands.
His head was shaved. His normal, comfortable, everyday clothes were shunted off to Salvation Army. He was given a rough camouflaged rucksack and sent to said naval base without further ado.
How long had be been given time to say goodbye to his parents? An hour? Was it even normal for Recruitment Officers to act that hastily?
It didn't matter, even if he had a say in any of it. 'It was for the greater good for the safety of capitalism', they had told him. 'The communists are fighting harder than ever, and we have to fight back'. Something about stopping 'the great wave of evil that threatened to encompass the world'.
Blah, blah, blah. He just wanted to go to Oxford - somewhere where he could have a future . All his dreams rested on whether or not he was able to attend.
Well, all except one - Marietta Blue. His his high school flair.
She was an angel - golden brown hair flowing down her pretty, thin face in curls that fell to her shoulder. Freckles lined the bridge of her nose - not heavily, but just enough for it to create a subtle starry effect on her face. Her eyes were a vivid green, a hue that you could maybe find on the leaves of a lavender plant - her favorite flower. His favorite flower.
He could remember the night they got together - it was such a wondrous night. It seemed to come straight out of one of those cheesy romance flicks you'd see at the town cinema.
Toby softly pressed on the brakes and let his Chevrolet Corvair roll into a drive-in diner that sat on the edge of the west shore, suspended on a cute little pier that was painted white. A dimmed neon sign that spelled Mamma Martha's sat above the diner's kitchen.
As he rolled into an open spot, Toby rolled down the driver's window and pulled his Corvair to a complete stop. He absentmindedly jammed his finger on the menu button and waited, sinking back into his own bitter memories.
Where had he been again? Oh, right - Marietta. His baby girl.
Just before he was carted off to 'Nam, he and Marietta had spent a nice, quiet evening under a tree near the center of town. He could remember the worry in her cute brown eyes as she rolled over on the grass to meet his eyes as the sun began to dive behind the horizon, washing the Indiana sky with beautiful hues of all sorts. God sure had done a good job there.
"Tobes," she had said, smiling ever so slightly. "Do come back in one piece, ya hear me?"
Toby laughed hollowly at her gallows sense of humor. "Darling, I can't guarantee you anything - heck, I don't even know what those darned officers will assign me to in the Philippines - but what I can assure you of is that I'll try."
He could remember Marietta's smile after he said that - small, but slanted in the corners. It was so dang cute.
"Tobes, just remember in those awful jungles," Marietta said, trying to keep a calm tone to her voice. "I will always love you. Always , Tobes, ya hear me?"
Always indeed... he should have never trusted that back-stabbing whore.
"Hey! You there?" crackled a disgruntled voice from the loudspeakers on the menu board, snapping Toby out of his reverie.
"Yeah," Toby grunted in reply, thumbing the speaker button once more.
"Copy that," the kid on the other side quipped. "I take it you'll have the number four tray again?"
"How did you know who I am?" Toby asked wearily.
"It's kinda hard not to know who you are; you come 'round every day," the kid replied. "Damn, that war must of gave you an unquenchable desire for our burgers... it'll be a couple minutes."
The speakerphone fell into silence, and Toby slumped back into his seat. Jerk... the stupid kid would probably never know what it was like to be on a night patrol in 'Nam.
"Here's your number four, sir," a voice said, and Toby stuck his head through the window to see a weedy teenager standing there, clutching his tray. He paid the kid and settled back into his seat. What the kid had said earlier was true. He had definitely come by this place every day at twelve fifteen for lunch, and always got the same thing.
It was all part of the routine. The same thing, every day, all day. Tonight he'd bunker at his folk's place again, just like he had every day since he learned Marietta was done with him.
It just wasn't fair - he had already gone to rot in the head because of the horrors in Vietnam, but that really put the cherry on top.
He remembered showing up at her front door three days after he had returned back to Wawaka - she hadn't answered the phone at all for the first few days. No one answered. Two days later, he found her; - pretty as ever, with the same old smile that he had dreamed about every night since he left her.
He had gone out to the local bar to decompress a little, and that's when he saw her. He remembered the lurch in his gut as well as the smile that formed quickly on his face as he began to make his way toward her.
She was sitting at the corner of the counter, talking animatedly to someone hidden by a large man. Then the large man moved, and there was another man there. He's just a friend , he had thought. Time to bring back that good 'ol O'Leary charm.
Then the pair kissed. Not your normal, romantic smooch - it was a deep, throaty kiss, one where tongue was clearly exchanged. Toby remembered watching the man's hand slide slowly down Marietta's side, and left without a word. Everything made sense, then - the ignored phone calls, the rare, terse letters he had received in 'Nam - it was crystal clear at that very moment to him.
He was not loved. He was not appreciated. No one cared.
Sure, his parents were there - sorta. They had been some of his favorite people before Vietnam. They raised him well, excited by his interest in academic success. Excited by the path he was taking. More proud of him then he could ever imagine.
Then the war happened.
It seemed to deflate them as the officers told them the news. Toby remembered his parents giving him a look that said, How could you?? It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his decision. When they found out why their son had returned from the war early, they were even more disappointed.
Now, every time he looked one of his parents in the eye - which was rare nowadays, since they ignored him so much. It was clear that their pride and joy had become a pawn - nearly worthless, disappointing. Or, at least, those were the vibes he received.
All of this happened two weeks prior to the current moment - the fourth day he had been home.
Toby stared blankly at the sparkling surface of the lake, basking in the afternoon sun. They had called the lake 'Diamond Lake' because the surface of the water appeared to be full of them. Why this mattered, he didn't know. Just a stray thought.
He took a bite out of his double cheeseburger. All of his friends had either died in 'Nam or been married - the latter living God knows where. They didn't care. They didn't need him anymore... they had new struggles of their own.
With every bite of his burger, he felt a new surge of loneliness washing over him, creating a tight knot of misery in his chest.
Finishing up his lonely meal, he revved up the Corvair and began his drive around the lake again. He left the window down, for this day in particular was very humid. More humid than your average Indiana day, anyway. He sighed as the breeze washed over him, and wished that he could be more than just a shame on the family.
Why was he calling himself a shameful presence? Well, that was easy - but perhaps a little more background wouldn't hurt.
To make things short and simple as well as keep the horrors of 'Nam to a minimum, let's just say that he was on yet another night patrol. Doesn't sound too bad - unless you were actually on one before, in which case you would already understand.
The scariest part of 'Nam had to have been those night patrols. The jungle pressed in on you from all sides, and occasionally you would hallucinate with anxiety. You would see strange things that weren't actually there. You would sense the snipers that may or may not actually be there. That was to put it simply ...
The tension was too much for him one day - so he shot himself in the foot. A quick and easy way to leave the war. Maybe not a guaranteed way to exit the war, but it was certainly a way.
Had he known what he would come back to, perhaps he would have stayed. Perhaps he would have rather have died in Vietnam instead of facing his parent's disappointment. He would definitely have preferred to die rather than seeing Marietta leave him without a word...
The stupid woman apparently caught wind that he was back and knew about her new love. She tried to reach out to him, tried to 'sympathize' with him - like he would let her. He didn't associate with traitors in love. Heck, she was still trying to reach him, but he wouldn't let her. No one at home would tell her where he was - they probably didn't care, as long as he was still alive. They wouldn't want their son's suicide on their own consciousness.
As he drove over a bump, he heard the bible that he had always kept in the passenger's seat flop over. He frowned slightly, feeling many bitter emotions towards that wretched book. What had it ever done for him? How could a book fix anything?
He had forgotten God completely - and he did it with his own reasons. How could something that was so - so "loving" let something like Vietnam happen? Why didn't He stop Harry Goldschmidt from falling into a pit of punji sticks? Why didn't He prevent Carter from getting thrown into a tree full of sharp cords? Why did He let Marietta leave him? Why did He spare Toby O'Leary, now as good as worthless, from the horrors of the Vietcong?
Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing.
Toby turned around another bend, and felt his eyes sting with tears. If everything happened a month ago, why was he still alive? How was he supposed to cope with his own head when no one was willing to help him?
You're not , said a voice in the back of his head. Don't blame God for everything that happened. That was all your fault, and you know it.
Toby pulled his Corvair to the side of the road and drove twenty feet into the trees. His tires sank into the tepid mud, and he smiled with satisfaction. He grabbed his bible and got out of the car. Before he could shut the door, the telephone in his car rang.
He froze. It couldn't be Marietta - she didn't know this number. It was probably his parents... they didn't call him often, but when they did it was for mundane matters.
He leaned over the driver's seat and picked up the phone. "Yes?" he asked in a weary voice.
"Toby? Is that you??" asked the voice of Marietta Blue. Toby dropped the bible onto the driver's seat and slowly dragged a hand down his face.
"How did you get this number?" he asked, and he could practically feel the retarded girl on the other end cringe.
"Y-Your parents gave it to me," she replied shakily. "Look, I need to talk to you -"
"- And tell me that you have a new guy, how you're done with me, and lie to me about feeling sorry," Toby deadpanned. "You don't need to apologize because, like I said earlier, you're not sorry."
"Toby, I know you're feeling alone and hurt that I've found someone else, but w-we can still be -"
"Stop acting like you still care," he said bitterly, clenching the phone tightly in his fist. "You said that you'd be waiting for me to return so we could be forever happy with one another. You lied. Goodbye."
"Toby - Toby!" sobbed Marietta from the other end. "Don't hang up - please! I'm serious! I wanna help!"
"Don't call this number again," Toby said in a strangely calm tone. "Ever. Because no one will answer." He half-slammed the phone back into its holster, then sighed. The conversation, however, stiffened his resolve.
He grabbed his bible and slammed the car door shut. Finding some broken branches and stray leaves, he set to work on hiding his car. When that was complete, he turned and began to troop through the mud until he found a strong looking tree. From there he began to climb - just him and his bible.
The climb took time, but he didn't care. He was in no rush to get to where he wanted to be.
As he reached the highest sturdy branch, he sat upon it and looked down. From here he could see a small section of the lakeside road at the place he turned off of. Hopefully the path he had carved into the undergrowth wouldn't give him away... as if anyone would look.
He teetered on the edge of the branch, then looked down at his bible. He kissed it, then heaved it as far as he could. He watched its downward arc as it traveled towards the mud some one hundred feet away. He looked at the sky and closed his eyes.
Forgive me, he thought sadly.
He opened his eyes and scanned the branches below. If he could hit every single one on the way down... but something caught his eye to the far right - something at the road. Looking over, he saw a bright red Volkswagen roar past the area where he had driven his car into the forest.
It was Marietta's car... the idiot came looking for him. He had to do it soon, or else he'd never be able to.
There was a loud screech from the direction Marietta went. Then, slowly, the red Volkswagen rolled back into view. Then she got out.
Seeing her in his memory was one thing, but seeing her with his own eyes was something else completely. His chest filled with painful, pure spite at the side of her. Even if she really did care, he couldn't bare to see her with... well, it didn't matter. He was going to emotionally hit this backstabbing slut right where it hurt.
The small figure of Marietta had climbed out of her car, and started to squint into the wide path Toby's Corvair had carved.
Now or never, Toby.
Toby grit his teeth, rocked back and forth nervously, then let himself slip off the branch.
Author's Note
So let me get something straight - I don't have PTSD, nor can I explain it. I will do my best, though, because Vietnam veterans have a close place to my heart. So those of you who are suffering from PTSD, you have my deepest condolences. All I ask is that you be patient with me, because I know that I won't be perfectly accurate.
I love you all, and suicide is not the answer. DM me if you need to - I'll be there.
Pain.
Toby was used to pain. Daily it invaded his life, his social life, and, ultimately - his thoughts as well as emotions.
Right now, pain decided to inhabit his physical being. All he remembered was falling from that tree... he must have been knocked unconscious from one of the first couple branches.
Then, nothing. Just pain.
Every cell in his body ached, like he had collided with something large and hard - which didn't make any sense, because below his tree there was only mud.
But this surface under him - that was definitely concrete. Or bricks. Something solid, anyway... much more solid than mud...
He pushed himself over onto his back, and doing so he rolled onto his right arm, which gave a splitting pain. Toby looked down and sighed as he saw the strange angle that had become of his forearm. His leg throbbed painfully, but not sharply, which means he had sprained something.
Broken... great. Just wonderful.
He strenuously pushed himself into a upright sitting position with his good arm. All around him he heard a collective gasp.
Gasp? He couldn't remember anyone except Marietta close by when he... died...
He wasn't dead. He fell from a sixty foot tree and didn't die. He groaned and looked up, feeling slightly shaky. His vision was blurred, but he could make out short figures surrounding him. He couldn't see what they were; they just resembled one of those prismatic spectrums he had seen in his school days when his science teacher had shown the class a prism.
He grunted and keeled forward once more, his legs sliding uncomfortably out from under him. There were some more murmurs, but then he heard the voice of a small child. She was close, too - probably no more than five feet away, unless his ears were deceiving him.
"What is it?"
"Shining Dusk! You get right back here, you foolish filly!"
"It looks hurt, mom, look..."
"I said get back here! NOW! Get away from that - that thing! "
Thing? That thing? Who were these people... was this some sort of sick joke Marietta was playing on him?
He grunted and placed a hand to the ground to push himself up, but then paused.
Cobblestone. He was laying on cobblestone. How did he not notice it before? The hard, lumpy texture... that hardly mattered at the moment. Did he survive the fall? Did Marietta bring him back and lay him on a cobblestone surface?
No, that was stupid. The fall should have killed him; maybe it did. Was this the afterlife? Could you fell pain in the afterlife?
"Think, Toby, think!" Toby hissed softly, accidentally putting weight on his broken arm. Pain shot up his arm, but he swallowed the groan that fought to get out. He had suffered worse... much worse.
One thing was for sure: there was nothing but mud under the tree he had jumped from. So how in the world did end up on a cobblestone surface amidst all these talking colors?
Think!
It was as if a cloud of angry bees had risen up from the ground around him; the buzz of the crowd began to rise.
"It looks mean - you think it would eat us?"
"I dunno, sweetie - but look at its mane ! It's in one place!"
"It kinda looks like a monkey - a big monkey..."
"Come on, children, it isn't safe here! Back to the school!"
"Ugh... wwherream I?" Toby said, groggily, trying to sit up again. "Issthis heaven?"
There was a scream, and some shouted, "It can speak! RUN!!" The noise that followed made Toby imagine a herd of frightened calves fleeing over an asphalt road.
"What's all the ruckus?" asked a male voice in a firm, urgent tone that Toby recognized immediately. A fellow soldier!
Then he heard the chinking of... armor? Was it armor? He couldn't tell. A large golden blob loomed over him, and Toby looked up at it.
"Please... help me..." he said slowly.
The blob seemed to recoil, then moved back in aggressively. A split second before it happened, Toby finally understood.
A blunt metal object collided with the side of his head, knocking him out cold.
It was turning out to be one of those 'how did this happen' days?
First, his attempted... you know. Next, he was beaten unconscious by a golden blob, and he had yet to figure out what was going on.
Now... he was in prison.
It wasn't the kind of prison they used in America, either. It was the equivalent of a dungeon; the walls were carelessly shaved off, leaving them uneven and rough. There were very large iron bars separating him from the narrow passage beyond as well as a thick steel door to keep him in. The only source of light were the torches that lined the walls at equal intervals. A dingy, undersized cot sat in one corner of his cell, and there was a small slot in the door - presumably to slide his meals through.
It could have been worse - the floors were fairly smooth and at least swept, and there was plenty of space in his cell to pace is he felt like doing so.He didn't feel much pain in his arm or leg, which were now in a cast and splint. He found this very odd considering he had sprained a leg before - which HURT, even with the splint. He also had plenty of time to consider the situation - and think about other things.
He still didn't know where he was. He didn't know any country on Earth that held prisoners in places like this, but on the other hand he had no experience in that sort of thing, so maybe there were, and he was unaware of it.
Another thing he had considered was that those who were holding him here were not human. Was this hell? If so, he would have imagined someplace that involved more torment and anguish than this... than again, he may be waiting to get placed somewhere... he shuddered at the thought.
Many hours he spent pacing his cell, thinking and speculating. After a while, though, he began to be thinking the same things over and over in his head, which became quite annoying. At one point he even punched the wall, not hard, but hard enough to make him yelp and nurse his throbbing hand, feeling quite stupid.
He was not at all concerned about the time he had spent in his cell, though... it wasn't like he had anywhere to be. Before he was now occupying space at home - but now he was out of his parent's hair... they wouldn't have to worry about taking care of their sorry excuse of a son. Surely they would miss him... but how much?
Then there was Marietta. What was she up to? Did she find his body? Was there even a body to find?
He had been laying on his cot (which was scratchy, itchy, hot, and uncomfortable enough to keep him from sleeping) pondering these things when he heard clip-clopping noises echo down the corridor. He sat up and gazed through the bars to the other side.
Then, finally, one of his questions were answered. Just not how he imagined it.
A unicorn in golden armor - probably a guard - trotted over to his cell door, magicking along a plate of what looked like beans and some strange sort of bread. He took in the appearance of the horse - no, pony, it was much smaller than a horse. It had unnaturally large eyes and a small muzzle. Its coat was an indigo color, and it seemed capable of emotion.
The thing that really frightened Toby was that it looked at him and... spoke.
The guard gave him admonishing look and grunted, "Dinner." It then used its magic to slide the plate through the slot in the door. Toby flattened himself against the wall, terrified. This didn't go unnoticed by the guard, who, as he turned to leave, raised an eyebrow. Despite the professional manner, Toby could see the small glint of curiosity in its eyes. There was something else there, too - was it afraid?
It then snorted and turned to walk back down the corridor, as if to say pathetic. The echoes of his hooves grew faint, finally stopping after a soft bang of a door.
Toby slumped down against the wall and ran his good hand through his hair. What had he just witnessed? Was this really the afterlife, or was this an entirely different world? The horse had looked, if not acted sapient - were they the equivalent of humans in this world - dominant and superior in relation to the other species?
Toby inhaled through his nostrils and exhaled through his mouth - a trick his army instructor used to teach them to calm down. What else did he say that day, when you found yourself facing the unknown?
Think, Toby. What would be more useful then speculating right now?
He paused to think, but his mind yielded no results. Then -
Observe!! he thought with a pang, snapping his fingers.
But what was there to observe? He had seen everything he possibly could - including the weird pony-soldier. What was up with that anyway?
He sighed and ran his left hand through his hair again. Maybe he should just wait this out. Yes... there was not much else he could do at this point. He moved carefully towards the food, which was cold, and ate the beans. After one bite of the roll, however, he spat the lot out immediately. It felt and tasted like he was eating alfalfa - did the guard give him its meal?
Already disgruntled by the food, he gave the cot a scathing look, but laid down on it anyway. Within the next minute he felt himself begin to itch, and he stared miserably at the stone ceiling, forcing himself to think about his home.
His parents... they would surely be worried now... right? Or at least his mom would be. And Marietta - was she looking for him? Did she find his body, or was there nothing to find? Was she okay?
... Not that I care, he thought sheepishly, grabbing a tuft of his hair angrily and pulling slightly. The way she had come looking for him... had it been genuine? If so... no. It couldn't have been.
As he stared up at the ceiling, he thought about his mother again, then Marietta, feeling incredibly stupid for trying to kill himself. All the while... why did everything have to happen to him?
Night had fallen over the Song Tra Bong river. The ripples that moved gently among the surface glinted innocently in the moonlight.
But Toby knew better - under the surface it was a raging torrent of darkness, waiting to suck unwary travelers into the pits of Hell.
He, along with his friend Milo (or Garbanzo, as the others called him) were stationed on either sides of their camp, which was stationed fifty feet from the riverbank. Garbanzo was assigned to watch the riverbank, and was currently hidden away in one of the tall trees next to it. He was impossible to spot - despite his rotund shape, he was able to disappear completely when he wanted to.
Toby, on the other hand, was stationed next to a path that ran about seventy yards due west of the camp. He sat huddled against a tree, clutching his weapon - a Colt M16, apparently - but to him it was just another tool to kill. He never liked killing, but his captain wouldn't let him do anything else when the enemy was present.
Nights in Vietnam were, to put it simply, terrifying beyond comprehension. Every little sound made you jump; every little shadow made you instinctively aim your weapon. You would never fire, though - if you did it would mean instant death for your whole company. He remembered wanting to do anything for his captain the previous day, just so he wouldn't have to be assigned this task.
And yet, here he was - in the middle of the jungle, poised and ready to eliminate intruders. How dearly he wished for a fire, but that would be one of the least intelligent things to do on nights like these. So he sat in the darkness, gritting his teeth hard so as to not flinch at the sounds of the river, which seemed to be magnified through the woods.
A rock skidded past, causing Toby to quietly scramble into a ready position. He waited, not daring to breath... rocks didn't move by themselves...
The next few minutes were unimaginably tense - there would be nowhere to run if this was an attack, he'd be gunned down in seconds, he had to fight -
Another couple of minutes passed. Nothing. Then -
A small shape snuck around the bend in the path to the right, not making a sound. It was moving carefully, looking like it was taking each step with extreme care.
Without second thought, Toby ripped the pin out of one of his grenades and rolled it down the path towards the figure. He took cover behind a thick tree, crouching against the ground and covering his head with both arms.
There was an immensely loud snapping sound, then silence. Toby peeked through his arms and saw smoke blowing across the path. Slowly, he crawled back to his bush and peered down the path. The dark figure was now laying down on the path, motionless.
Breathing hard, Toby emerged from his hiding spot and cautiously moved towards the body. When he arrived, he felt his heart explode into a million pieces. The person on the path was as dead as you could get, but when Toby took a closer look, he retched, horrified.
It was a child, maybe in his early teens - he had a chasm in his face the shape of a star.
A loud metallic clang woke Toby from his slumber. He blearily looked around to see that the unicorn guard had returned. It gave him a scathing look and whinnied, gesturing with its head move along!
When Toby didn't move, the guard scowled and pointed to its left (Toby's right). Toby's eyes followed the direction in which the guard's hoof was pointing, and when he saw it his insides were filled with ice. He felt his jaw slip, but did nothing to prevent the gawk.
A large, white unicorn with wings stood impressively in the hallway, looking down at Toby with a mixture of curiosity and shrewdness. It wore a crown upon its head as well as a golden breastplate and golden horseshoes. He assumed it was some sort of princess by the way it carried itself. She surveyed him for a moment, then neighed importantly. Was it trying to communicate with him!?
Toby stared. The princess seemed to notice that he couldn't understand her, and whinnied to the guard, who then looked a bit sheepish. It pulled out a large key chain full of iron keys and slid one into the door of Toby's cell. It creaked open, and the guard walked into the cell and hauled Toby to his feet. It bound his hands in rope, then led him out of the chamber.
There was something distinctly dehumanizing about being bound in such a way, but protesting of any kind was not an idea that crossed his mind. Not only was he in any condition to fight, but he also felt kind of... dead. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really care about being somewhere else. Sure, the fact he was being kept in a cage for no reason (as far as he knew) did irk him a little. He couldn't explain why he felt this way...
Perhaps it was because he knew he deserved it. After the stunt he pulled, what, not twenty four hours ago (how fast did time move here?), of course he would. Perhaps it was just his guilty conscience, but if it was, the guilt was well earned. He had chosen to end his life like the coward and disappointment he was.
A sharp poke in the back by his equine buddy jolted him out of his thoughts. He had been so deeply invested within himself that he hadn't even noticed where he had been led. He felt his jaw hang there loosely in astonishment.
He was in a massive hallway lined end to end with stained glass windows. The ceiling rose above him at an incredible height - the place made him think of a cathedral. The princess-horse walked regally to the end of the hall, and that's when Toby realized that he was right about the horse being royalty.
Two thrones sat at the end of the room, each one with a different design. The one on the right seemed to be themed around the sun; the one on the left, the moon. Upon the moon-throne sat another giant horse-thingy that resembled her sister - apart from the fact that she had an army blue coat and a mane that resembled the sky at night. Judging by the black regalia, she was a princess as well.
Which didn't make Toby any less scared. This whole equestrian theme was really starting to freak him out.
The dark princess eyed Toby suspiciously for a moment, then stood up and trotted over to the other princess. Now that the two stood next to each other, he noticed that the moon princess was a head smaller than her comrade. The moon princess whinnied something to the other with a pointed nod in Toby's direction. Clearly he wasn't trusted.
The white princess turned to give Toby a searching look while Moony looked at him disdainfully behind her. A small indignant feeling began to swell up in his chest. Why was she looking at him like that? Had he done anything to offend them?
The white princess turned to her friend and neighed in an impatient tone. The other replied in such a way that Toby imagined it to be a quip of some sort. He studied the way the two princesses acted towards one another - slightly impatient, but in a comfortable way, as if they had a connection.
Then it hit him - these weren't companions... they were sisters.
The white princess turned back to look at Toby, who had only just noticed the tattoo of the sun on her butt.
Well, I guess that makes sense, he thought.
Sunny cocked her head to one side curiously, staring intently at Toby. It was then he realized he had been staring at her flank, and blushed. He tried to step backward, but the guard behind him shoved him roughly forward. He fell to his knees and found himself stuck due to the rope around his wrists.
The white princess walked towards him, and neighed something. The way she was looking at him when she did - there was some sort of meaning behind it, maybe?
The princess neighed again, almost emphatically. Then, with an uncomfortable jolt, Toby understood. She was trying to communicate with him.
"Er - sorry," he said nervously. His voice shook as he spoke. "I-I can't understand you."
Sunny looked taken aback as well as confused all at once; could it be that neither of them could understand the other?
The princess gave him a hard look, then shook her head slowly. Then her sister walked up behind her and neighed something. It must have been rude, because Sunny replied very curtly. She then lit up her horn, and the pressure on Toby's ears began to change dramatically.
At first it wasn't bad; then it started to build. It felt as if his ears were imploding, he half expected them explode at any second. Then -
POP!
"- sure this is going to work?" said a soft, doubting voice.
"It was worth a try," said a firmer one.
Toby blinked the tears out of his eyes. The pressure, along with the pain, in his ears had passed, although his ears were still ringing.
"Let's try this again, shall we?" said the firm voice.
Toby looked up slowly, hardly daring to believe his own ears. Sunny was looking down at him with a calm but slightly apprehensive look.
"Who are you, and where do you come from?" she asked calmly, but there was an urgent tone in her voice.
Toby froze. That horse just spoke fluent English.
"Well!?" asked Moony aggressively, but Sunny gave her a quelling look.
Toby took a deep, shaky breath.
"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGHH!!!!!"
Author's Note
There are some OOC moments in this chapter, and they are there on purpose - plot line thing.
Chapter 2
Princess Celestia had seen many strange things during her thousands of years of existence. Hay, she even had her tail temporarily stolen by the Lord of Chaos, Discord - before he reformed, of course.
Still... she hadn't been anything like this.
The ape thing had taken one horrified look at her before screaming - had she scared it, or was this a defense mechanism?
Judging by the plum color on its face, which had been pale only moments before, it was angry. Usually, ponies went pale when they're scared - to be fair, though, this was a species of ape she had never seen before. The only fur on its body was on top of its head, and it wore clothes; nothing extraordinary, though - she had seen her subjects wear things such as t-shirts, although his pants seemed to be made out of denim, or a similar material.
The thing shrieked for another moment, then hit the floor. It had passed out, which meant one thing - there must not be sapient ponies where it came from. Was it dangerous? Possibly. As a ruler, she couldn't be too careful, though her gut seemed to tell her that the ape was harmless.
Luna, her sister, seemed to disagree.
She scowled at the crumpled form of the ape. "Pathetic," she said with disdain.
Nope. She clearly thought it was spawn of Tartarus. Weird... Lulu very rarely acted this way towards new phenomenons. Sure, she had a strange way of showing her feelings, as Celestia had spent many a century with her - before and after her banishment to the moon - but something was different. She couldn't quite put her hoof on it, but it was a bit strange...
She took a deep breath to clear her mind, and gave her sister a stern look. "Luna, I understand your - ah - disapproval, but I need you to be patient until we learn more about our new friend here."
Luna opened her mouth as if she wanted to protest, then made a face, as if she had swallowed something nasty. She then gave Celestia a pouty lip and remained silent. Celestia felt a strange pull to interrogate her sister, but thought the better of it and turned to face the slumped form on the ground in front of her.
"I'm going to wake it up, Luna," she said calmly. "I ask that you hold any snide remarks until later, when we're done. Alright? ... Luna?"
Luna did not reply; she had silently walked over to her throne and sat down in a resigned silence.
Why is my sister acting so weird? Celestia thought, turning to the unconscious ape and preparing to wake it.
Man, Toby had a way with headaches. They seemed to really like him.
He grunted and rubbed his eyes. His head felt like someone had driven a blunt axe right down the middle of his forehead, right in between the two buttcheeks of his brain.
"... Okay?" said a distant voice, and Toby opened his eyes. The light made him wince painfully at first, but his eyes slowly came around. When he saw the white horse-princess looming over him, everything came flooding back to him.
Sunny could talk, and apparently her sister too. Could all of these colorful horses talk?
"No need to be afraid, young one," Sunny said in a calming, regal voice. Despite the tone, Toby was not reassured.
Easier said than done, he thought to himself.
There was a tense moment where Toby and Sunny stared at one another, neither of them moving a muscle.
"You can talk," Toby blurted. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. No duh they could talk.
Sunny smiled slightly. "Yes. We can talk."
"But - but you're horses - horses don't -"
"Ponies, not horses," Sunny corrected. "And we do talk. I'm going to assume you have ponies where you come from?"
Toby nodded, feeling lightheaded. I'm going mad - it's like living in a show meant for Kindergartners!!
"Allow me to introduce myself," Sunny said, seemingly aware of the awkward tension in the air. "I am Princess Celestia; soon-to-be retired ruler of Equestria and raiser of the sun. My sister, Luna, raises the moon."
Toby's eyes flickered over to the moon-themed throne, upon which Luna grunted in recognition. His eyes found Celestia's again, and found the deep magenta color of them slightly calming.
"Toby," he blurted again nervously. He needed to get out, to leave - but how? The windows, maybe...
"I beg your pardon?" Celestia asked curiously. "Is that your name? Tob - what was it?"
"T-Toby," he stammered, feeling Celestia's eyes boring a hole straight through him. "Toby O'Leary."
"Ah, so you have two names?" Celestia asked.
"Er - yeah, something like that," Toby muttered, eyeing the princess's horn. It looked long enough to stab through three people. Was she just buttering him up to murder him easier?
There was another uncomfortable silence, then Celestia sighed. "Now for the hard part... in order to insure my nation's safety, I'm required to interrogate you. It's simple conduct -"
As the princess rambled on, Toby looked past her towards her sister, who was still perched upon her throne. He didn't like the look she was giving him - it was as if she were trying to melt him with her gaze.
Celestia apparently didn't notice that Toby had stopped listening, because she kept talking about her code and laws without blinking. Finally, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luna stand up from her throne and rustle her wing feathers.
"Sister," she announced, cutting through Celestia's speech. "While I appreciate your attempts to be kind to this... thing, more extreme measures are needed in order to maintain the safety of Equestria."
Celestia shot her sister a scandalized look, but amazingly didn't reply. Luna had an odd expression on her face - was it smugness or triumph? She approached in a manner that made herself seem as tall as possible. Toby had seen this many times before; it was the very thing his superiors in the army did when they assigned him orders.
"Now I will show you how this is supposed to be done, Tia," Luna said firmly. "You are almost too soft sometimes."
"I - wha - I am not!!" Celestia sputtered angrily. "You have taken the reigns of this situation - during the hours of daylight no less! You are the princess of the night !!"
Luna scoffed. "I am doing what mother told us to do when something like this -" She gestured at Toby as if he were dog poo that she had almost stepped in "- happens! Remember?"
Celestia bit her lip, clearly holding back the angry retort that fought to get out. Toby looked nervously from one princess to the next - what had their mother told them to do?
Seeing that victory was hers, Luna turned back to Toby and gave him a harsh look. "We will now begin - you are clearly intelligent - the extent of that questionable."
Toby looked up at the lunar princess, feeling a twinge of hurt. Did she just call him stupid?
"You must answer all of my questions correctly, or you shall be subject to the consequences," Luna continued coldly. Celestia stared at her sister incredulously, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing - almost as if she couldn't believe how rude Luna was being.
"First question - what are you?" Luna shot, making Toby jump.
"A - a human, your highness," Toby replied, trying to sound as calm as possible.
Luna sniffed. "Titles will get you nowhere, human , so no use in flattery. Second question - where do you come from?"
Toby felt his insides boil at the injustice. Flattery!? He was showing respect!
"Um... the planet Earth, miss."
"Earth? Never heard of it," Luna replied carelessly. "Are you lying to me?"
"He's not lying and you know it, Luna!!" Celestia cut in hotly. "No need to be so rude. What's gotten into you?"
Luna glared at her sister as if to say shut up! "It needs to know its place."
"It's a male, Luna," Celestia said wearily. "Address it with the proper pronoun, at least."
Luna huffed in reply, looking incredibly disgruntled.
Normally, Toby would have been scared witless by this, but somehow the fact that the two sisters kept arguing made it marginally less frightening. He was still frightened, however; he could only imagine what those magical horns could do.
"Anyways, before my sister interrupted me," Luna said, scowling (Celestia huffed indignantly at this). "So - from this... Earth , are you?"
Toby nodded very fast.
"So... what is this Earth like?"
"Um..." Toby replied, his voice shaking slightly. How would he describe his own planet? "It's... seventy percent water... a lot of plants... four seasons?"
"So it can hold life?" Luna pressed. "Other humans, I presume?"
Toby nodded again.
"What is your race like?" Luna continued. "Are you a peaceful race?"
"Er - no, not really..." Toby said very quietly. Then a jolt of dread shot down his spine - why didn't he just say yes?
Luna's eyes widened, and to Toby's dismay, so did her sister's. "Are you meaning to tell me that your race is belligerent in nature?"
"S-Sometimes, your highness."
Luna shot her sister a triumphant look that seemed to say, I told you so. "You hear that, sister?"
"I - I do, Luna," Celestia said, looking at Toby apprehensively. "Although..."
"Protocol is protocol, Tia," Luna said smugly. "If the subject is to show any hint of violent tendencies, take precautionary measures. You know the book as well as I do, sister."
"Luna, this is most unlike you!" Celestia cried, looking torn. "Is there something you would like to tell me later?"
"Tia - the rule was written in mother's own hoofwriting!! " Luna snapped, evidently ignoring the question. "You've seen it, too!"
"At least allow me question him further!" Celestia chided impatiently. "We need to know more!"
Luna seemed to be unable to argue against this point, for some strange reason. She merely huffed and sat upon her haunches.
Celestia sighed and turned to face Toby, no longer showing him that kind smile. Her expression was something else, now - urgent, doubting. It sent an unpleasant tingle down Toby's spine.
"So - you say your race has violent tendencies," the princess said in an emotionless tone. "As in... wars?"
Thinking of nothing else to say, Toby nodded, doing his best not to let his body betray a frightened tremble. What were they going to do to him?
Celestia closed her eyes for a short moment, and let out a disappointed sigh. "To what extent does the violence reach in these - wars?"
"That - that depends on the w-war, your majesty," Toby stuttered in reply.
"A-HA!" Luna laughed triumphantly. "There should be no more question to why the precautions should be taken, Tia. The intents of this one could be hidden for all we know."
"Luna - are you really going to judge the fate of this individual based on the rest of those in his race??" Celestia cried, stomping a hoof on the ground.
"Protocol, Tia," Luna said in a singsong voice.
"Protocol - yes, fine," Celestia said in a tired voice. "I already have enough on my plate today than to deal with your stubborn vigilance. Guards... take him back to his cell."
The injustice of it all began to take hold of Toby's emotions. What. The. Hell.
He wasn't even getting a chance to explain himself - they had just asked all the wrong questions to begin, not even stopping to look at any reasonable possibility of an alternative. Now they were acting like he was a criminal - whether or not they seemed to want to was beside the point. So much for trying to be honest.
"Toby - I-I'm sorry," Celestia sighed, looking as if she had no choice for what she was about to do. "Truly. You are to remain in the dungeons until further notice."
"But why!?" Toby blurted before he was able to stop himself. "I didn't even do any - !"
"You are a strange creature from an unknown place as well as origin," Luna said sharply, clearly disapproving of his attitude. "What we have gathered is that you are violent - and for now, it is enough."
"Are you serious!?" Toby cried in outrage, but Luna screamed in a voice that shook the very foundations of the room.
"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK IN SUCH WAYS TOWARDS YOUR SUPERIORS!! GUARDS!! " she roared, going slightly pink in the face. Celestia was looking at her sister as if she had never seen anything like that before.
Toby felt the guard yank on his bounds, pulling him onto his rear. Glaring at the floor, he allowed himself to be taken away.
He did not pay any attention to his surroundings as he was led back into the damp, cold dungeon corridor. Everything had happened so fast - it had felt like he had only left the cell minutes ago. And the princesses - they were some pieces of work, that was for sure. Not even giving him a trial -now, that was bull.
Of course, he knew that the government of these ponies was obviously a monarchy. Two princesses - yeah. Definitely a monarchy. But they way they talked to him... something in the way Celestia had confronted him told him that they may believe in the right to a fair trial, which would be a very intriguing characteristic to find in a monarchy.
His insides still flared at the unfairness of it all. Trial or not, the princesses apparently had to follow this 'protocol' - whatever that was. Perhaps an excuse to imprison him quicker.
Well, he wouldn't satisfy them. Celestia seemed to want to see reason for a minute there - but the amount of time it took for her to turn around irked him to the point of boiling anger.
So a prisoner is what they want? Fine, Toby thought indignantly as he was shunted back into his cell. Well, this prisoner isn't going to eat anything they give him; neither will he say a single word.
It was about time he stuck up for himself, anyway.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Another meal had come and gone, and Toby still refused to eat - much to the disapproval of his stomach. This was going to be much harder than he thought.
They seemed to be making more of an effort, however - they included a biscuit along with other items that wouldn't generally suit a human's stomach. The biscuit did tempt him, since he hadn't eaten since he had grabbed that burger - it felt like an eon had passed since that day.
Fortunately for him, a distraction in the form of the pegasus guard came to his rescue.
She had arrived no more than five minutes after a different guard had delivered the food. She paused near the door of Toby's cell, and her eyes found the untouched plate on the floor. Her eyes flickered between the plate and Toby for a brief moment, but she said nothing. Then she breathed in deeply and announced, "Princess Luna has summoned you."
It was as if a bucket of ice cascaded down his throat. He swallowed and clenched his hands while millions of speculations ran through his mind. Why did the mean princess want him? What was she going to do? Was he going to be killed, or sentenced to prison for life?
The guard fumbled with a key, then opened the door and stepped through with a pair of rusty cuffs in her mouth. She stepped into his cell and gave him a pointed look.
Toby hesitated, then, slowly, raised his arms outward so that she could bind him, seeing no reason to struggle. The guard cuffed him, then tied a rope to his cuffs so that she could lead him away. As they were leaving the cell, a sudden inspiration came upon Toby.
He flipped the plate of food over with the toe of his boot, sending his wanna-be meal across the floor. The clatter of the plate caused the guard to jump, making her turn and scowl at him as if to say, Try me, buddy. I've faced much worse. But then her eyes met the mess on the ground.
"Oops," Toby rasped quietly, trying with all his might to not show any emotion. It seemed that he did well, for the guard's eyes widened and looked at Toby in a shocked manner. They then narrowed, as if trying to search for something she couldn't find. Then, finally, she stepped back to grant him departure from the cell.
As the guard led him out of the dungeons, Toby marched along in silence. He could feel his fear and anger fading to numbness with every step. Who cared if he was sentenced to death? Who cared if he wasn't eating? He certainly didn't, for it no longer mattered to him.
They had only traveled a short ways inside the castle before the guard led him into a pitch black room to their left. The only details Toby could make out were those of the iron door that stood ajar. As they passed, he noticed the thick steel bars that seemed to be hidden behind a pane of stained glass. He frowned slightly; why in the world would someone want to hide a room like this in a castle? Or keep one in the castle, for that matter?
He was pulled into the room roughly, shaking him out of his speculations. A pair of hooves roughly forced him into a chair, scraping his chest painfully. He let out a startled hiss of pain, but inwardly reprimanded himself for making a sound.
Then, suddenly, the lights blared on, flooding the room with a harsh, white aura. He squinted and blinked painfully for a few moments before adjusting. He was sitting at a beat-up table in the center of the room, which had blank white walls. On the other side of the table in front of him stood Princess Luna, who regarded him with an expressionless face.
Toby felt a slight tug at his wrists, and turned his head as far around as his neck would allow to see the guard binding him to the chair with the same rope she had used to lead him here.
Luna cleared her throat, grabbing Toby's attention again. The lunar princess squinted down at him shrewdly, taking in his physical stature. Her eyes barely widened, but did so ever so slightly that Toby wouldn't have seen it had he not been paying attention to the details. Luna did not betray any emotion, however, and cleared her throat once more.
"You have been detained on suspicion of being a violent individual," Luna began, not breaking eye contact with Toby. "My sister and I, however, have agreed to give you the benefit of the doubt - a fraction of it, anyway - and hear you out."
She paused as if almost expecting Toby to say something, but he remained silent. He stared back at the princess with intense feelings of bitterness filling him from head to toe. So now she was going to hear him out? Would she even listen ?? She didn't the time before - why would anything change now?
"I take it by your silence that you have nothing to say?" Luna replied, and to Toby's immense surprise, seemed to soften her expression upon studying his own.
Toby clenched his jaw and remained silent.
"Well - I see," Luna said with a slightly gentler tone. "I see - since you apparently have nothing to say, I will ask my own questions. You mentioned that your race was violent, but my sister convinced me that it may not be the determining factor of - er - certain individuals. What is your background?"
Toby's mind flashed back to a scene in a certain tropical rainforest, in the dead of night - mortars rumbling through the darkness -
He shrugged, feeling that answering such a question would not help his case. The fact that he had been forced into a war he didn't want fight wouldn't increase his chances of freedom. Did he really care, though?
Luna didn't seem to know how to take his response. She did, however, stare at him as if trying to see him from different emotional standpoints. Was this a lure - a mind game to trick him into liking her, so that he would be more easily coerced?
"You have a past, do you not?" Luna pressed, frowning slightly. "How old are you, Toby O'Leary?"
In his shock that she remembered his name, he yelped, "Twenty one!!" Realizing his blunder, he instantly bit his lip so hard it tasted like iron.
Luna nodded, seemingly confused by this. "Indeed - so you would have to have a background?"
Feeling defeated, Toby nodded his head slowly.
"You have a voice; use it!" shot Luna in an irritable voice.
Toby frowned at her. Yelling at him did not give him any sort of desire to comply - rather, in his bitterness towards Moonbutt, he felt more justified in his silence.
"Fine! You will answer me yes or no," Luna submitted, clearly getting very irritated. "Were the levels of violence high on your world?"
Toby stared. For the human race, that wasn't necessarily a 'yes or no' question...
Amazingly, Luna seemed to understand this, and her expression softened ever so slightly. "Was it occasional violence on your world?"
Toby thought for a moment, then nodded his head.
"Was it world-wide, or in specific areas?"
Thinking of the war, Toby stared.
"My apologies - that was not a yes or no question. So, then... did violence only occur in specific areas of your world?"
Toby nodded.
"Were they organized?"
He shook his head.
"Sporadic?"
He nodded.
"Hmm," Luna said, summoning a scroll and quill with a flash of magic. "Is your sense of unity strong where you come from?"
Toby thought for a moment, then frowned. How could he answer that in an accurate way without speaking? He stared at Luna blankly and shrugged.
Luna sighed and looked at the floor for a moment, taking in a deep breath. This was a much calmer Luna than Toby expected coming into this interrogation. Not that he thought any better of her; he hadn't forgotten what had happened in the throne room.
Luna looked back up from her silence and gave him a hard, silent stare. "I need you to speak - you know that, don't you? I will not ask again," she added irritably when Toby continued to remain silent.
Since Toby still showed no sign of reply, she huffed and continued the interrogation.
"Do you consider yourself violent?" she pressed, poising the quill upon the parchment.
Toby paused. He had been violent - but not willingly... he shook his head.
"Have you ever found yourself in violent circumstances?" she pressed, scribbling furiously upon the parchment.
Toby paused and clenched his eyes shut. Please, dear God please, don't let it come to this...
Luna looked up impatiently. "Well!? " she asked harshly.
Toby slowly looked up to Luna's face. The exhausted, dead, stormy gray eyes met the harsh, teal eyes that seemed to want to drag the information out of him. Slowly, he nodded.
"But that contradicts your other answer!!" Luna protested slamming a hoof imperiously down on the table, but Toby didn't flinch. She glared at him for another second, then removed herself from the table and began pacing back and forth.
"You say that you lack violent tendencies, but on the contrary, I don't think you lack anything if you have been in violent situations!!" she snapped angrily, half to herself.
"Permission to speak, your highness," said a voice behind Toby, giving him a start. It was the pegasus soldier that had brought him from his cell. She stepped forward and stood at his side at attention.
"Granted," Luna replied warily.
"Perhaps the violent situation he found himself in was possibly not one he wanted to participate in," she put in reasonably. Toby stared at her incredulously, but still made no sound. Was she sticking up for him?
Luna stopped her pacing and bit her lip, as if she were mulling this information over. She then murmured something to herself, and looked up at Toby with a slightly calmer expression.
"Is this true?" she asked, staring Toby down fiercely as if she were daring him to lie.
Toby stared back blankly, then, slower than ever, he nodded.
Luna squinted at him, clearly scrutinizing the level of honesty he was providing her, and then seemed to find nothing to criticize. She gnawed at her lip in thought, then sighed.
" My sister and I shall give you the benefit of the doubt, Toby, and consider you," she said carefully. "In the meantime, you shall receive more interrogations as the week progresses - not from myself, but from invaluable assets to Equestria's security. Now, before I send you away, I have one more question, and I require your honest answers."
Toby listened attentively.
"I have received word that you are refusing to eat anything presented to you," Luna said with the air of holding back something, which was strange to Toby, since she hadn't bothered to hold back on her anger for the entire length of the interrogation. "Why is that?"
Toby looked at the floor and attempted to lean forward, but forgot that he was bound and ended up sitting back awkwardly again. Finally, seeing no reason to stay silent, he croaked, "It... it doesn't matter, your majesty."
Instantly, Luna recoiled. Even Toby didn't recognize his own voice - croaky, hollow, void of emotion, even a little dead - it would have scared him, but he didn't care. Luna, however, seemed to have a complete mood switch; she looked scared rather than disgusted.
"Well - alright," Luna said in a reserved manner, eyeing Toby in a strange way - was it concern? "I think there are some definite things to consider from this conversation. In the meantime, Clarity - return him to his cell."
The pegasus guard (who was probably Clarity, since there were no other guards in the room) quickly untied him from the chair, tied his wrists together, and led him towards the door.
"And Toby -" Luna said loudly as he reached the door. The guard pulled him to a halt, forcing him to listen.
"Eat something - please," she said in a calm tone. This was an unnerving change in attitude.
Toby shook his head, and heard the lunar princess behind him sigh. Then the guard pushed open the door and gently pushed him through. As he left the room, Toby smiled inwardly with grim satisfaction.
Author's Note
Sorry for the lateness of the chapter - I hit a massive writer's block and needed to take some time. So no; this isn't a dead story, I promise!
Anyhoo, I'll try and get the next chapter out sooner. So toodles in the meantime, I guess.
The pegasus guard named Clarity strode purposefully towards the throne room, looking confident and strong - but on the inside, her guts were full of boiling concern. As she reached the large doors, she drew in a deep, calming breath - Princess Celestia was patient; she had nothing to fear from the solar princess.
Just before she opened the door, it swung open from the other side. She hurried to one side to allow six ponies to pass - when she recognized them as the elements, she instantly inclined into a slight bow. They were walking slowly, too - couldn't they just go a little quicker? She had very important news to share!
"Thank you for your time, Twilight," said the voice of Princess Luna through the doors. "We shall be looking forward to the results of Fluttershy's interrogation. I believe you have set her up to be very successful!"
She pushed the doors open and poked her head through. "Your highness?"
"Yes, Lieutenant Clarity?" replied the voice of Celestia. Looking towards the throne, she could see the princess stand up gracefully with a smile on her face. Luna was in the process of returning to her respective throne, but had turned to observe the tidings the guard had brought.
"The human still hasn't eaten anything," she said in a quiet but desperate voice. We've thrown some of our best delicacies that would seem to suite him, just as you ordered - but he hasn't even touched them!!"
Celestia froze, the smile falling off of her face. "None of it?"
Clarity shook her head. "None of it, your highness. It's clear he's doing it on purpose, too - he simply turns over the plates if they tempt him too much."
Celestia and Luna exchanged an alarmed look.
"Sister," Luna said in an urgent voice, trotting back up to the throne. "Twilight's hunch was correct - something is definitely wrong with Toby!"
"But I thought you detested him?" Celestia asked curiously.
"Do you seriously not recall the conversation we had a couple days ago?" Luna deadpanned.
Celestia thought for a moment, then blushed. "Oh! That. My apologies, sister - but you are right. Something here is off - the seriousness of the issue has yet to be discovered, and I hope Fluttershy can break through."
"Sister..." Luna said at a whisper. "You don't think - Twilight told us that Toby mentioned a war he had been in - you don't think...?"
Celestia's pupils shrank to pinpricks. "I haven't seen that sort of thing in hundreds of years - if that is what's happening here, I fear you and I have made a grave mistake - his safety may be in danger..."
"Of course, we are in the midst of our own speculations..." Luna put in reasonably.
"Be that as it may, we need to be on our guard nonetheless," Celestia replied concernedly, dismissing Clarity with a nod.
For what it's worth, I think you're harmless.
Toby called bull. There was simply no way any pony here could truly have any respect for him. Therefore it was nonsense to believe that a princess that was suddenly entered into the picture would have a suspiciously sudden sureness of who he was.
Of course, he had plenty of time to reflect upon this, being confined to his cell around the clock. The only things distracting him from thinking were the hunger pains in his stomach, which were getting sharper by the day. He was still determined not to eat, however - he would not give these primped-up ponies the satisfaction of knowing that their V.I.P. (Very Important Prisoner) was healthy.
On a different note, he had been informed by his guard that he was going to be pulled in again for questioning that day. He just replied like he usually did - a blank stare. After making sure his morning meal became one with the floor, of course.
He already knew about his questioning, being told by Twilight the day before. He wondered whether or not the pony interrogating him would try and butter him up for some answers.
He sighed as he heard the sound of hooves echoing up the chamber towards his cell. They were literally going to put him through the same stupid process for a week - the guard comes to wake him up noisily, he waits for them to get him, he gets interrogated, then back to his cell for the rest of the day. Just to figure out whether he was dangerous or not.
So here he was, waiting to be escorted off to his third interview... three down, four or more to go (if the interviews stopped after a week, of course - he didn't trust anything here).
... He'd rather die then put up with all of this. It wasn't worth the trouble... what would he even do when he gained freedom? He could starve himself, but if he thought the hunger pains he were feeling that moment were bad, he couldn't imagine how painful it would be to die of malnutrition. So he would have to take a hard pass, unless these ponies kept him here - in which case he would definitely do it.
Get as far away from these ponies as I can, he thought to himself, letting the pleasurable thought churn around in his head. He imagined himself living in an isolated cottage built by his own blood and sweat, in a quaint little yard on a mountainside somewhere. Complete peace...
CLANG!!
Then again... death may be able to give him peace. All it took was a small bit of pain in return, if he did it correctly - right?
The guard walked in, uninvited as always, and performed the usual routine of binding Toby's wrists together. The two left the room, one functioning on automatic duty, the other on his brooding thoughts.
Fluttershy had been waiting in the interrogation room for the past five minutes, and she was starting to get extremely nervous - and when paired with her other feelings of excitement at meeting a new, sapient creature, she could hardly sit still.
She was so ready that she jumped when the heavy iron door clicked and swung open, revealing a pegasus guard and... the human.
She held back a gasp - were humans supposed to look that skinny - almost skeletal ? Her motherly instincts longed to shove food down his throat, but her shy side counterbalanced that impulse. She had seen what malnutrition looks like before, and she was sure that - humans, or whatever he was - were not supposed to be that skinny.
Clarity finished binding the human to the chair, then took a position in the corner of the room as she always did, watching with interest.
Fluttershy swallowed an urge to hide and looked up at the human carefully. "What's your name,?" she asked softly, remembering what Luna had told her before she had entered the interrogation room.
"Remember - you are the one who's asking all the questions. You have every right to ask him what you please, despite what he may think."
Toby looked up at Fluttershy, feeling a little startled by the mare's soft, controlled tone. He looked up at her and regarded her - she looked very shy, but there was something else - was it determination?
He drew a deep breath. "Toby..." he said in an awful voice that didn't sound like himself.
Fluttershy jumped at the sound of his voice. "Goodness! Have you always sounded like that!?"
Toby shook his head slowly.
"What happened to you?" the mare asked with a concerned edge to her tone.
Toby shrugged in reply. Was she trying to lure him into a false sense of security? He would not play her games.
She stared at him long and hard, then sighed. "My name is Fluttershy... it's nice to meet you, Toby."
Toby looked at the butter-colored pegasus incredulously. If she was trying to win him over, that was a seriously lame attempt.
"I can see you don't want to talk... and I won't push for any answers," Fluttershy said, picking her words carefully. "I'm sure you know why I'm here..."
Toby did not say anything. Instead, he chose examine the table.
"Twilight mentioned something about a war, and that you were in it," the pegasus continued quietly. "Then Princess Luna told us that you had said that you never wanted to be a part of it."
Toby looked up at her and shook his head earnestly.
Fluttershy put a hoof up to her mouth suddenly, as if she had just discovered something. Toby quickly averted his eyes back to the table again.
"Oh, my... Toby, please look at me..."
For some reason, he felt his eyes peel away from the table and slowly look into Fluttershy's deep blues. They were extremely pretty. There was only one other pair he had seen with as pretty a blue as these eyes - no, prettier... of course, the owner had treated him like bilge, so whatever. But these eyes - they were filled with compassion and - sympathy ?? There was no mistaking it - this 'Fluttershy' seemed to genuinely give a damn... but only time would tell...
Things were way worse on Fluttershy's end, however - for she had the oddly remarkable ability to see the reflections of a creature's past in their own eyes. In some circumstances, she would gladly trade this trait in exchange for almost anything else. The moment she looked into his eyes, she wanted out - but she couldn't pull her gaze away. She had to get answers.
She found herself in a whole different world - less vibrant in color than her own, but it held its own beauty. In front of her sat Toby, leaning up against a tree alongside another pretty human - a female with long brown hair.
"You promised to return, remember?" she said in a cute feminine voice. "Tobes, you even promised. Besides, it's our last night out before your plane leaves - enjoy yourself!"
Toby shifted his weight and looked at the pretty female. "Listen... war promises nothing but few things, Marietta - and you would know of some of them because of school..."
"Tobes... don't be like that..." the girl named Marietta whimpered.
The scene began to change in a swirl of color. Now she was surrounded by massive tropical trees, sizes of which she had never personally seen before. It was extremely creepy here, and the air seemed to be thickening with unbearable tenseness.
At her feet lay Toby, who was clearly trying to stay motionless among the bushes. Something was different, however - this Toby was decked out in a camouflaged outfit that was clearly meant to keep him hidden. He lay there, drawing in deep, shaky breaths as he stared straight ahead. Judging by his expression, he was listening with all his might, holding some sort of wooden stick with a long metal pole sticking out from the front end.
Then the sounds of footsteps came rustling through the bushes, as if they were trying to be quiet but held enough confidence to not worry about it. A troop of humans, slightly different in their facial appearances, came marching into the area where Toby was hiding, all wielding similar sticks - were they weapons? As they reached the bush where Toby was, the human in front held up a - thing (well, it wasn't a hoof , so she couldn't exactly call it that) and motioned for the others to stop.
At this point poor Toby was practically shivering. His eyes were scrunched up as he muttered something silently to himself - probably a prayer of some sort...
The man who had stopped his troop from advancing peered around the opening suspiciously, letting his hand fall to a small mechanism. He was clearly going to kill anything out of the ordinary. Now, Fluttershy was no mechanical genius, but she instantly recognized the mechanism on the man's stick as some sort of trigger.
After a very tense moment, the man and his troop moved on. Toby shakily sat up slightly, watching the men disappear into the forest.
The scene changed again. Toby was cowering in a foxhole as explosions rained down on him from all sides. The starry sky above was painted red and orange with the fiery waves of death that rained down on him from above, and the sounds of the rainforest were drowned out by the sounds of the apocalyptic scene.
Then, once more, the scene changed. Toby was sitting on a sofa with his face hidden in his hands as an older version of himself loomed over him, clearly beside himself with anger.
"You what!? " Toby's father cried out. "No son of mine would intentionally hurt himself to leave the line of duty! That was a COWARDLY thing to do, Tobias!"
Toby looked up, revealing his red, puffy eyes. "Dad, I - I couldn't - you don't understand -"
"Get out of my sight..." he growled, pointing to the door. His son followed the command dejectedly, trudging out of the room. An old woman, probably his mother, watched the son go with a sad glint in her eyes.
"Dear... I don't think you had to be so harsh," she said quietly. "You should be grateful he's alive and well. Not all parents with enlisted children can share that privilege."
The father grunted rudely in reply, slumping down into a loveseat that sat on the other end of the room.
More and more scenes flashed by - Toby driving around some strange mode of transportation, Toby hiding in a forest while experiencing horrible things nopony should ever have to, Toby alone and looking depressed...
She finally pulled herself out of Toby's world, and the interrogation room came back into focus. She looked at him as if he were in a whole new light - she knew some of his dark secrets, and they had barely exchanged even a few words.
They sat in silence before Toby stuttered, "Wh-what did you do, miss?"
Fluttershy closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath. "I'm s-so sorry, Toby... you had to go through so much..."
What is she talking about?? he thought to himself. She's making no - wait. No - she can't know -
He looked up at Fluttershy and could see that she was on the verge of tears. He then experienced a sensation similar to feeling a bowling ball drop into your gut.
"You don't know, right...?" Toby asked quietly, hoping against hope. When he saw the look she gave him in reply, he shook his head. "No - NO! I don't need your sympathy! I don't need anyone's sympathy in this stupid world! You ponies, acting as if you understood, acting as if you could know who someone is by just looking at them - I'm over it!! I'm sick of ponies, and I've only been here for, like, five days!!"
Fluttershy recoiled. Toby, recognizing his blunder, simply looked back down to the floor. That was it - he had yelled at one of them. He was surely sentenced for life now. Then the sound of Fluttershy's voice startled him back to reality.
"Um... Toby, please tell me... have you been eating?" she asked in a timid voice.
Feeling a pang of deep satisfaction, Toby shook his head slowly.
"Oh - okay," she said in a very quiet squeak. "I guess I'll - I'll go..."
She practically bolted out of the room, leaving Toby and Clarity in silence. Clarity moved from her post automatically to take him back to that stupid cell.
"Alright, Toby," she said in a dutiful tone, "You know the drill. Back to -"
"My cell, yes, I know," Toby grumbled quietly. Clarity paused for a moment, since Toby had never spoken to her before, then proceeded with her task.
As Toby was led out of the room, her swore he heard a sad sigh from behind him.
Celestia paced the length of the throne room, watched anxiously by her sister as well as the Elements. They were all eagerly awaiting the results of Fluttershy's questioning, as all of them believed that it would provide serious answers.
That's why everyone jumped when the throne room doors opened, allowing Fluttershy's entrance.
Celestia smiled. "Fluttershy - excellent. Did you get anything from him?"
Fluttershy looked up at the solar diarch, and the look on her face wiped the smile off of everyone else's/
"Oh - I see," Celestia said, looking disappointed. "Just because you weren't successful doesn't mean you didn't help -"
"No - I got answers," Fluttershy said quickly, slightly hiding behind her mane. "But... um... ajnflksbdhbf..."
"Er - sorry, what?" Luna asked walking over to the timid pegasus.
Fluttershy took a deep breath. "I said, I have answers, but you're not going to like them."
Author's Note
And the story drags on. I promise this is going somewhere, just gimme some time.
Author's Note
This was a bit hard emotionally to write. That's all I'm gonna say here.
Chapter 7
Another day another...
BeYyEeOoOwL...
Aaaand that would be Toby's hangry stomach. Another day, another - 'beyeowl', apparently. It was much longer and more drawn out than the previous day. Which meant malnutrition times two.
Woo-hoo. He was dying. Now that he actually thought about it, how long did it actually take for a human being to die of starvation? Something like forty days? If so, he had a way to go.
Something had been piquing his interest that particular day, though - it was the first day that he had woken up on his own terms. Besides the times he had been aroused by nightmares, of course. But normally that guard - Clearify or something - would come to wake him up, since that's apparently what they like to do to their prisoners here.
But this strange change meant one of two things: either the guard had forgotten (which seemed very unlikely), or Flutterbutt had spilled the beans about what she had gathered from the previous day's questioning. Would it help him at all? These ponies seemed like the kind to overdo it with sympathy. He did not need their sympathy.
He slowly sat up, feeling a sharp pain in his left abdomen. Ah, so stomach cramps were now a thing when you were hungry. Toby didn't really know if this was a normal thing or not; he was focused on other sciences than health.
"Oh - you're up," said a feminine voice said from behind, making him jump. He turned to see the guard, Clarity, escorting some sort of bug-pony into the cell on the other side of the corridor from his own. "That's good."
Toby hesitated. "You knew I was still sleeping?"
Clarity nodded, locking her prisoner away. "Mm-hm. Princess's orders. They're getting much closer to deciding what to do with you."
"That's hardly fair," Toby grumbled. "No sense of justice in this system."
"What was that?" Clarity asked, frowning.
"Nothing," Toby replied quickly. He didn't want to make things worse for himself - he was already on the point of breaking, and that was scary enough in and of itself.
"Er - okay..." Clarity said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm going to go collect your breakfast."
"Have fun."
Clarity hesitated, but then shook her head sadly as she walked back up the corridor. Toby relaxed, contenting himself with plans of how he would creatively turn down his meal this time.
As it turned out, the more habitually he refused to eat, the easier it became to do it - not that he didn't have the physical desire to eat - it just became a mental game for him.
Clarity returned a couple minutes later with a steaming scrambled egg platter balanced on her back. She grabbed the edge of the plate with her teeth and placed it on the floor, proceeding to then slide it under Toby's cell door.
Toby merely just stared at it. After a moment Clarity groaned and walked up to the bars of his cell.
"Oh, for Celestia's sake - EAT!! " she cried, looking slightly desperate.
Toby shook his head.
"Why?" Clarity asked in a strange tone.
Toby looked up, and a shiver of realization ran down his spine. That look on her face - the sad, desperate edge to her tone - she was genuinely concerned about him. She clearly didn't believe he was dangerous.
"I don't want to give the princesses the satisfaction they're seeking," he said with a deep breath. At that moment, he only half-cared about his no-talking rule. "They put me in here without a proper trial. I assume normal citizens - ponies, I mean to say - get fair trials before they get thrown into the slammer."
"Y-Yeah, that's true," Clarity said quietly. "And don't tell anypony else, but..." She stuck her snout through the bars and whispered, "I don't agree with a lot of the traditions the princesses follow around here - they can ruin so much so easily with their stubbornness, and they aren't even aware of it."
"Tch, tell me about it," Toby muttered bitterly, propping himself up against his cell wall. "This whole 'treat him like garbage until we find out who he really is' thing is really grinding my gears - if I somehow get released, I'm getting as far away from you ponies as I can."
Clarity looked offended. "Why!?"
"I thought you'd have figured that out for yourself," Toby deadpanned.
There was a moment of awkward silence during which Toby closed his eyes and leaned back to rest with a soft grunt. Clarity shifted her hooves slightly.
Finally, after a moment later, she chose to speak. "Do - do you hate me?"
Toby looked up. "That's a strange question to ask your prisoner."
"I know, it's just..." Clarity said, trailing off. "You just seem eager to end conversation, and you avoid my eyes all the time. I'm getting a very negative vibe off of you."
"Wonder why that is," Toby growled, patting the floor of his cell. "Besides, I have no idea why you should be valuing my opinion - I'm a prisoner. I don't get a say, especially since I'm... different."
Clarity shook her head. "Do you even care??"
"About what?" Toby asked indifferently, examining his arm carelessly.
"About - about... I don't know - yourself!!"
"An interesting question," Toby replied. "Yes and no, but I'm not going to explain myself, so don't even ask."
Clarity bit her lip and stomped her hoof angrily. "What's that even supposed to mean!?"
"Didn't you hear me?" Toby asked calmly. "I said that I'm not going to explain anything to you, so don't even ask."
"You explained to me why you aren't eating."
"That's different."
"Hardly." Clarity turned to leave, then hesitated. She frowned at Toby. "I was also supposed to tell you that your next interrogation will occur in roughly an hour."
"Whoopee," Toby groaned as his stomach gave a particularly painful lurch.
Clarity stared at him for another moment. "Just one more question - do you even trust those who are in charge of you? You seem very uncertain about everything."
"And why do you say that?" Toby asked nonchalantly, playing with a small piece of chipped concrete.
"Dude, all I have to do is look at you," Clarity answered impatiently. "It's so obvious."
"Alright - fine - you got me," Toby said, pulling himself onto his cot. The floor had been making his malnutritioned buttcheeks sore. "I'll answer you this - so long as the creature in charge is a pony, I don't see a reason to. Although... Miss Fluttershy seemed to - somehow - understand how I felt, and I could tell Princess Evening -"
"I think you mean Princess Twilight ," Clarity corrected.
"Yeah, her," Toby acknowledged, nodding. "She seemed to pick up on the fact that I was -" His eyes went wide, and he immediately stopped talking.
"The fact that you were... what?" Clarity asked.
"It doesn't matter. None of your business."
"Actually, it is my business," Clarity said curtly. "But I'm not going to press you for information you don't want to divulge."
Toby looked up at his guard, and with a shiver realized that she was serious. Maybe.
"Stop that," he said suddenly.
Clarity looked at him confused. "What are you talking about? I haven't done anything."
"I don't know what it is, but you're doing it!!" Toby huffed irritably. A long silence followed during which Clarity put a hoof up to her mouth.
Finally it was too much. Her laughter bubbled out of her barrel and out into the empty corridor, echoing off of the walls.
"Heh... sorry," Clarity said, catching her breath, trying not to look at Toby's disgruntled expression. "That was kind of funny."
"Fine! Fine - maybe not all of you ponies are bad..." Toby said, grinning slightly. It kind of hurt - he hadn't used his smiling muscles in a while.
"Well, normally I'd press you for a more satisfying answer, but... that would be a bit rude," Clarity admitted with a smile.
"What do you mean?" Toby asked with an ornery expression. "Go for it. You outrank me."
"Nice try, wiseguy," Clarity said with a smirk. "You're just looking for an excuse to hate me."
"I don't hate you..." Toby said quietly. "It's hard to hate someone who goes out of their way to be kind. That's why I liked Miss Fluttershy. And Princess Twilight. And... you, I guess. Even though you take me to those stupid interrogations."
Clarity smiled. "Thanks, Toby. I really hope you get out of here."
"That means a lot," Toby replied as Clarity made to leave. "And... Clearity?"
"It's Clarity," the guard corrected, turning to look at him.
"Right..." Toby said, looking as if he didn't want to say what he was about to. "I - I trust you , if that means anything..."
Clarity beamed, then walked out of sight.
"Rainbow, are you - are you sure you're the best pony to go next?" Celestia over her pancakes as the questioning company was eating breakfast in the royal dining room.
Rainbow puffed out her chest, placing a hoof on it. "I was born ready, princess!"
"Yes, Ahm sure ya would make a great interrogator an' all, but I don't think you're the kind of pony who should question the critter next," Applejack commented. "Your style is a bit - tempered, don't ya think?"
"Yes, I'd have to agree with Applejack, darling," Rarity added. "You are a bit aggressive - and the poor fellow is hurting ."
"According to Fluttershy, anyway!" Rainbow huffed, hovering above her chair out of habit. "I bet that hamine -"
"Human," Twilight deadpanned.
" - Human, whatever - I bet he's acting like that on purpose!" the prismatic pegasus declared. "I don't think he really means it when he says that he's safe!"
"But I saw his eyes," Fluttershy said in a very hushed voice. No one in the room heard her.
Luna sighed. "Rainbow... are you absolutely sure?"
"Pfft! Of course , princess!!" the cocky mare exclaimed. "I was born for this!!"
"But you already said that, silly!" Pinkie chirped.
"Not helpful, Pinkie," Twilight groaned. "This is important!!"
Celestia sighed. "Just make sure you don't go hard unless absolutely necessary , Rainbow Dash - er - Rainbow Dash? Where did she go?"
Sure enough, the over-determined mare had left the room unannounced.
"Should we stop her, your highness?" asked one of the guards by the door asked. Celestia thought for a moment, then looked to Luna, who shook her head.
"Let's see how this plays out, sister," the lunar princess suggested. "Hopefully we shall not have to interfere."
"I hope you're making the right call here, Luna," Celestia replied skeptically, throwing a concerned look towards the door that Rainbow had left through.
Toby had begun to think that the ponies weren't that bad - that maybe, just maybe , he could integrate into their society.
Then the stupid, bloody interrogation happened. Just his luck, of course - when things seem to get better, life poops on your head like an oversized cockatoo. Screw ponies.
That day he was interrogated by a cyan pegasus with a prismatic mane who called herself 'Rainbow Dash' - and he had never met a meaner personality in his entire life. And mean was an understatement, too - she was a straight up jerk . The first thing she had done was hover directly in front of his face and examine him.
After a moment or two, she pressed her snout uncomfortably close to his nose and bellowed, "YOU AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE, YA KNOW!!"
Apparently she thought he was some sort of actor, for she didn't seem believe to believe the genuine look of confusion on Toby's face was true confusion. She settled herself down on the other end of the table and slammed her hooves down upon it.
"Listen here, dirtwad," she said with an over-determined, cocky smile on her face. "I know that you pulled something on Fluttershy yesterday - because she's not the same anymore."
Yeah, right, Toby thought inwardly. She's just looking for reason to scream at me some more, I bet.
"Well, I'm here to find out if you're really the nice guy you say you are," Rainbow smirked standing up. "So, tell me - what are your abilities?"
Toby's mouth fell open slightly. "What - what are you talking about??"
"You're a monster, duh!!" Rainbow scoffed. "All monsters have abilities - so what are yours??"
Toby gave her a deadened gaze in return. Yeah, he was definitely not going to speak - especially if it gave this stupid mare the satisfaction she was seeking.
"Speak , for Celestia's sake!!" Rainbow huffed. Toby raised an eyebrow. Seeing that he was doing nothing, she lunged at him from her end of the table. "I command you to listen to me! Talk!! "
Toby huffed as the pegasus breathed angrily into his face. "Fine - I don't have any abilities. Look at me - you all have magic and can fly, but I've got nothing on me."
Rainbow stepped back, eyeing his form suspiciously. The she smirked. "Alright - yeah, I can see that... you do look pretty worthless."
Toby's eye ticked. Why was it that when she said it, it hurt? He inwardly called himself worthless countless times a day in order to give himself some sort of emotion other than bitterness, and it wasn't really affecting him in the ways he had hoped.
Rainbow began to circle him slowly, eyeing his motionless form in the chair. "Yeah... come to think of it, you look really weak - and slow - and even stupid ... what business did you have coming here to Equestria? Huh?"
"I didn't come here on purpose," Toby said quietly.
"A likely story," Rainbow snapped, giving him a queer stare. "So, randomly , you decided to bust open a street in the middle of Canterlot for no reason?"
"Again - not on purpose," Toby deadpanned in a quiet voice.
"Mm-hm... okay," Rainbow said, trotting over to his chair. "I guess I could - whoops."
She pressed a hoof to his chest, pushing him over backward while he was still in his chair. The back of his head connected with the stone floor, sending a splitting pain through the center of his brain. Stars danced in front of his eyes for a moment until Rainbow's head came into focus, which loomed overhead.
"Get up," she said with a stupid grin plastered on her face.
Toby growled. "You're kidding."
Rainbow scowled. "No, I'm NOT! Get up, loser!!"
The clink of shifting armor echoed off of the walls, and Clarity's voice rang out.
"That will be enough, Ms. Dash," she said curtly.
"I'm not even done with him, though," Rainbow whined. "I'm almost there, I can feel it!"
"Pardon me, Ms. Dash, but I didn't see any progress," Clarity said, hoisting Toby up. His head throbbed painfully and slumped forward. "This will be reported to the princesses."
"You don't know what I was trying to do!" Rainbow cried angrily stamping her hoof. "Give me five more minutes."
"No."
"Fine! Two?? "
"NO! "
Clarity fumbled with the ropes tied around Toby's wrists, then quickly led him out of the room, careful not to cause him to fall over - he had hit his head very hard on the floor.
When the two had returned to Toby's cell, Clarity gently placed him onto the cot on the floor. "I'm sorry about that," she said regretfully as Toby groaned and put his hands up to his head. "I'm going to go report this to the princesses, and then I will return with some ice for your head." She ran off, leaving Toby to sink into his dark train of thought once more.
Rainbow entered the throne room, feeling really disgruntled.
"Ah! Rainbow Dash," Luna said in a false cheery voice. "Did the interview go well?"
Rainbow grumbled. "No. Your guard stopped it halfway through."
Celestia, Luna, and Twilight exchanged a frightened look. They all looked back at Rainbow with baited breath for a moment, but Twilight was the first to step forward.
"What. Did. You. DO!? " she said through gritted teeth.
Before Rainbow could reply, a voice cut across the room. "Permission to speak, your highness."
Twilight looked around to see a guard that stood in the room. "Er - okay... Clarity, was it?"
"Yes, your highness," Clarity said with a respectful bow. "Ms. Dash here was downright ferocious with the prisoner - she did nothing but dispirit and provoke him, including knocking him onto the ground while he was still bound to the chair. It was a nasty affair, princess."
Celestia looked angry, making the ponies in the room shiver. Rarely was she ever angry. "Rainbow, is this true?"
"I was trying to find out if he was dangerous or not!!" Rainbow protested.
"By calling him worthless??" Clarity pressed.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. "You didn't ..."
Rainbow avoided her friend's scathing gaze. "Okay, maybe I got a little carried away... but how else was I supposed to figure out what kind of powers he had?"
"Powers!? Humans don't have powers, Rainbow!! You should have asked me before assuming something like that! I've been to their world , for buck's sake!!"
Celestia frowned deeper. "Rainbow, we all know you are capable of much more - as well as how dedicated you can be to your duties - but there will be an inquiry about this. In the meantime, you are on probation."
"Pro-Probation??" Rainbow asked weakly. "What d-does that mean?"
"You'll know shortly," Twilight replied curtly. "And believe me, you deserve worse - not that I want you to be punished, but you've earned this."
Rainbow looked at her friend in disbelief. "Twilight?"
"She's right, sugarcube," Applejack put in, appearing at her friend's side. "You hafta realize what ya did back there - well, comin' from Clarity, anyhoo - that was downright horrifyin' . That's not who you are, Rainbow Dash, an' you know it. The Rainbow Dash Ah know would've done exactly what she was told."
"To be fair, she never received clear instructions," Celestia said, looking as if she were trying to hide her anger under her calm outer appearance. "Not to nullify what has been done, obviously... but Rainbow, I have to impress upon you how serious a situation you have caused. You barged in - without invitation, really - and proceeded to almost definitely ruin any progress we have made with Toby. Now, Clarity, would you please escort Rainbow Dash to her room?"
"If it pleases her majesty, I was planning to take some ice down for Toby's head," Clarity pleaded, bowing slightly.
The corners of Celestia's mouth twitched sympathetically. "Very well - Twilight, would you and your friends escort Rainbow Dash, then?"
"Of course," Twilight replied. Clarity departed the room immediately after, followed closely by Twilight and her friends, towing along a morose-looking Rainbow.
He fought back some tears. Of course, it had to happen - as soon as he let his guard down with these ponies for five minutes, he ended up paying for it. These ponies had made his life go from miserable to absolute torture in less than a week - perhaps it was time to call the ultimate shot.
No, said a small voice in the back of his head. That's unforgivable! Don't you dare!"
"I can't go on like this," Toby muttered as a hot, wet sensation developed behind his eyes. "I can't."
Rainbow Dash's voice echoed madly through his head, confirming the biggest insecurity he ever had. Now he believed it.
... You do look pretty worthless...
... You look weak - and slow - and even stupid...
... Get up, loser!!
... Worthless...
... Loser...
Coward , said a small voice in his head.
The tears came hot and fast, but Toby made no move to intercept them. Instead, he rolled off of the cot and grabbed the flimsy blanket. Looking up at the ceiling, he saw a thick support beam that held up the rock ceiling - it had small holes throughout it, placed at equal distances, that were probably there for some engineering reason.
Without hesitation, he rolled up the blanket tightly and began to fiddle with the ends it...
How did it go again? The bunny comes out of the hole, around the tree a couple times, then back into the hole...?
When the knot had been almost completed, he threaded the skinny end through one of the holes in the support beam and the tightened the knot. He stood back for a moment to admire his work, then, hesitating slightly, approached it.
The tears still fell heavily from his face as he placed the noose around his neck. He gave a slight tug to test it, and it tightened satisfactorily. He took a deep breath as memories of his life zoomed before his eyes - the time he achieved an all-state academic notice, when he graduated high school, his first kiss with Marietta, his drafting into the army... his cowardly return... his father's words...
Unbelievable! And to think that I believed that I had a truly impressive son for a time...
Toby choked back a sob and let his legs give out, letting himself dangle. It was a curious sensation, really, being strangled... not as bad as he thought...
Clarity hurried down the dungeon corridor with a bag of ice from the kitchens. She hoped Toby would at least trust her enough to take care of him.
As she reached his cell, she fumbled for her key, not looking up. She felt a pair of eyes on her, and turned to see the changeling prisoner she had barred up earlier staring at her with an extremely reproachful, yet horrified expression.
"What happened to you? " Clarity asked.
The changeling changed its stare to something behind Clarity - something that was in Toby's cell. Clarity followed her gaze, and dropped the bag of ice.
"Holy Celestia... TOBY!!" she hollered, doubling her efforts to gain access to his cell.
Clarity had her own insecurities. It was only normal.
Despite the fact that she didn't care what she looked like, she was a very pretty figure on the royal guard, with a burnt orange coat and a violet and pink mane. Her irises were a deep, attractive green. Somehow all the colors came together to make what some stallions considered to be a masterpiece of a mare.
So when she was called ugly, it didn't bother her. But when she couldn't do the one thing her job required?
Clarity paced the hallway just outside the medical wing nervously, occasionally casting extremely anxious glances at the door. Why hadn't she thought to give him some mental support after that terrible interrogation with Rainbow Dash? She was so stupid! She was supposed to take care of him...
Truth be told, she scarcely grew attached to the prisoners being held in the castle dungeons - mostly because they were the last creatures you'd ever like - the kind that held hostages, pulled off large heists, or harmed another creature sexually... occasionally there would be a psychotic murderer, but those were rare in Equestria.
Toby, however - he just wasn't the type of guy that occupies a dungeon cell. From the moment she first saw him, she knew something got mixed up. Sure, she had never seen a human before, but he seemed far from dangerous.
Of course, she still had to be careful. Toby was a creature she had never seen before, and it was common for ponies to make the wrong call - actually, it happened a little too frequently. One of Clarity's life goals was to be open minded, and lo and behold, she was a happier pony by nature. Not perfect - just happy.
She paused and looked at the door to the operations room where Toby was currently being held, becoming one with the heart monitors and IV bags... she felt a sharp, twisting sensation in her chest. Suicide was unheard of in this world - she had never even imagined it possible that something would actually want to take their own life! It was insane - life had so much to offer... nopony had ever been that crazy.
I wonder what amount of pain could make someone want to do such a thing... Clarity thought to herself, gazing absentmindedly at the door.
The sound of hooves behind her gave her a start, and she turned to see Fluttershy standing there.
"Oh - sorry," Fluttershy said, instantly taking notice of Clarity. "I-I hope I'm not bothering you..."
Clarity sighed. "No... you aren't bothering anypony. What brings you here?" Fluttershy looked at the door to the operation room sadly, and Clarity squeaked, "Oh. I see."
"Are we allowed to see him?" the timid pegasus asked.
Clarity shook her head dismally. "They aren't letting anypony in there... it makes me worried that he - you know..." The conversation fell into silence, broken only by the occasional shifting noises of nurses bustling past them.
What if he had succeeded, and Clarity was just standing here for no reason? Did he even care to think that there were ponies here who truly cared about his well-being, regardless of the fact they barely knew him? Ponies could be very stubborn and xenophobic, but they were a compassionate race all the same. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, anyway.
"Why did he do it?" Fluttershy asked in a thick voice. "Did he not like us?"
Clarity inwardly smiled at the childishness of the question. "I think it was a long time coming - there's something about the way he carried himself that gave it away - I just didn't think he would do - you know - this. " She gestured sadly towards the door. "There's a bigger mystery here, Ms. Fluttershy - if we knew what was the real deal with him, we could help him..."
"I know some things," Fluttershy said very quietly. "A-About his past."
Clarity looked at the mare incredulously. "I know you had an interrogation with him, but how!? He's more stubborn than a dragon when it comes to opening up!"
"I looked into his eyes," Fluttershy muttered uselessly.
"Into his eyes," Clarity repeated in a disbelieving tone. "Right - what does that mean?"
"If I try hard enough - I - I can see reflections of the past in somepony's eyes," she explained. "I s-saw some - things..."
"Would - would you mind telling me?" Clarity asked, but to her surprise, Fluttershy shook her head.
"I can't," she replied sadly. "I haven't even told the princesses everything I saw that day... it was too terrible, and I didn't think Toby would want me to share that information anyway..."
Clarity nodded, wisely choosing not to pursue the subject. Instead she contented herself on staring wistfully at the door to the operation room.
"I'm - I'm going to leave," Fluttershy said weakly. As the pegasus turned to leave, the operation room door opened. Her head whipped around in time to see the doctor emerge.
"Well, he's going to be out for a bit, but we've managed to stabilize him," the doctor said coolly. Clarity collapsed onto her haunches, taking in deep, shaky breaths of relief. Fluttershy began to cry.
"Will he be okay?" Clarity asked in a thick voice.
The doctor peered at his clipboard. "He's showing great signs of recovering ability, so... we'll see. In the meantime, he is in a coma due to oxygen deprivation. It was a miracle you showed up, Clarity... had you arrived thirty seconds later..."
A very uncomfortable silence followed this statement.
"Well... he's not dead - so there's nothing to worry about..." muttered Clarity.
"Can we go see him?" asked Fluttershy.
The doctor stared at her, then sighed and shook his head. "I don't know why you would even bother - it's really uneventful in there right now. Nothing interesting."
"Please," pressed Clarity. "Do you even know what happened??"
The doctor held up a hoof and gave the guard a cold look. "It is in my understanding that Mr. O'Leary attempted to take his own life."
"You should be scared then, too!!" Clarity hollered, causing the passerby to halt their activities and stare. "Nopony's ever tried to kill themselves in Equestria before - and you just stand there, without a care in the world -"
"Clarity, is it?" the doctor asked, going slightly red around the ears. "Do you know the things you have to be able to deal with in order to become a doctor? I've seen worse physical injuries - including replacing organs that have been ruptured. I'm no stranger to patients who are on the verge of death, Ms. Clarity, and I have to be able to remain calm while operating! So excuse me if I don't follow your - ah - emotional standards."
Clarity closed her eyes and huffed. "I - I - sorry. I just -"
"- Didn't think to look at the big picture?" the doctor finished coolly. "I know. Everypony does that at some point, Ms. Clarity, and what you're going through emotionally..." He nodded in the direction of Toby's operation room. "... It's understandable to become irrational with your emotions. I suggest you think about that, regardless of whether or not you outrank me in the castle heirarchy. Nurse Bluecross will be here shortly to supervise Mr. O'Leary's room - wait for her until she arrives to see him. Good day."
The doctor bustled off to the waiting room, leaving Fluttershy and Clarity in silence.
Pain. Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. Toby's whole world was just pain.
When he first opened his eyes to a fierce light, he thought, Did it work? Did I actually...?
Then a soft beeping noise made him hesitate. Everything around him drew into more focus, and he could make out a bright lamp of some sort above him. He looked to his right and saw a large heart monitor.
His heart plummeted. He looked to his left and saw an IV bag, which could mean only one thing - he hadn't succeeded.
His heart decided to take the emotional elevator down another hundred levels. Now he would have to remain here, in this stupid, forsaken pony world, suffering from the naive happy-go-luckiness the land possessed. No doubt the princesses would start kissing his butt - they had tried to get him to eat, after all, with the improved quality of food they gradually sent him during his stay in the dungeons.
Speaking of food... his stomach didn't feel quite empty anymore - which means that they tube-fed him or something while he was out. He groaned, then inhaled sharply at the sharp pain it took to use his throat.
"Ohmygosh - Toby!" said a hushed voice from the other side of the room. The sound of hooves slowly approached to his left, and the blurry form of Clarity entered his vision.
"Whaddyoowant?" he growled, wincing.
Clarity froze. "H-How - h-how are you feeling...?" she asked in a shaky voice.
Toby scowled. "Nevverrbeen better. Absolootely ecstaticc..."
Clarity shot a frightened glance at someone who Toby couldn't see. A warm voice replied, "It's alright, lieutenant - he's just loopy from medication."
Clarity nodded tensely and looked back at Toby. Her eyes were incredibly red and puffy, and her lips were quivering ever so slightly. Toby pretended not to notice this and stared straight up at the ceiling, trying not to acknowledge her. After a moment, however, his attention was forced back to her as she spoke.
"Why?" she asked in the smallest of voices. "Wh-Why would you do that?"
"It's a secret," Toby replied, chuckling darkly as he did. The chuckles quickly turned into a minor coughing fit, but he recovered. He was not going to confide in these stupid ponies anymore; he was a bit gullible by nature, and had always been, but enough was enough.
"Toby..." Clarity said, hesitating. She then stepped closer to the bed and lifted a hoof to place on Toby's shoulder.
"Don't," Toby said grumpily, and Clarity quickly brought her hoof back. "Please."
"Toby, don't take this out on me !!" Clarity cried, tearing up. A couple slid down her face, but she didn't seem to care. "I've done my best to take care of you, regardless of my guard responsibilities, and this is how you decide to treat me!?"
"Don't pull that on me," Toby growled, fighting to sit up. The nurse looked over and yelped.
"Lay down, Mr. O'Leary, for Celestia's sake!!" she cried, rushing over and gently pushing him back down.
Toby growled, but did as he was told. He faced Clarity, looking nearly livid. "You buttered me up - gave me a sense of security - then betrayed me by taking me to that questioning session -"
"I VOUCHED for you!!" Clarity snapped.
"After watching that homosexual pegasus torture me for a bit," Toby added nastily. "And now you come back and claim that you're sorry - of course, I had to try to kill myself to make a point -"
"Didn't you stop to think what kind of damage you would cause??" Clarity sobbed, tearing up again.
"Of course," Toby replied indifferently, looking back up at the ceiling. "I had all that time in my cell to reflect. To reflect upon my life and how I was viewed here. No one would miss me - especially not the princesses. They would just feel extremely guilty if it became public that they had let an ape monster kill himself under their 'supervision'."
Clarity didn't know what to say to this - she merely just shook her head, staring at Toby in a horrified trance.
Finally, after a long, tense silence, she spoke. "You - y-you are so unbelievably wrong, Toby. The princesses were a mess when they discovered - you know..."
"Yeah, alright," Toby said in a disbelieving tone.
"If you don't believe me, I'll tell you what happened when they found out," Clarity offered with an air of desperation.
Toby turned himself slightly to look at her. She wasn't joking. He hesitated. He had chanced trusting ponies before - would he truly give it one more shot before he closed the door on them completely?
"Okay," he agreed curtly, shifting back to stare at the ceiling. "Spill."
Clarity took a deep breath. "It all started when I found you in your cell..."
"Lulu, it will be all right," Celestia said soothingly to her sister as the the mane six left the throne room, just after Clarity had gone to get ice for Toby's head. "I'm sure Toby will be okay - we may just need to redouble our efforts."
Luna sat down on her haunches dejectedly. "Having a savage attitude was not a good idea, sister - I fear I may not have helped."
"Well - not to be stubborn or anything, Luna, but it's good to finally hear you recognize that," Celestia said solemnly. "It's a step in the right direction for the both of us. We may be retiring in a week, but that doesn't mean that we can let things slide before then."
"Indeed, sister," Luna agreed. "In the meantime, what will be done about Toby??"
"Well..." Celestia replied. "The only thing we gathered from Rainbow Dash's interrogation was the possibility that Toby may be using a silent treatment as well as a downtrodden demeanor as a ruse to hide his true intents. To officially release him, we need solid proof of who he is like - for instance how he behaves when nopony's looking."
Luna sighed. "I feel that it would just be better to release him," she said quietly.
Celestia nodded. "I have a gut feeling that we should as well, but..." She trailed off. "You know we can't guarantee anything based off of gut feelings."
"But what if he is safe, Tia??" Luna objected. "All the signs have pointed towards it - and now you are the skeptical one, whereas I now see that we have made a mistake! This could seriously hurt -"
She was cut off when the throne room doors burst open, admitting a very panicked and horrified Clarity. "PRINCESSES!!" she screamed, forgetting her professionalism.
"What on Equestria would make you act like this?" Celestia asked calmly, addressing her guard with curiosity.
"I - I'm sorry..." Clarity squeaked, and stood up straight. Both of the sister could see, however, that it was taking Clarity every ounce of sanity and mental energy she possessed to remain like this.
"Never mind that, now - you can relax," Luna said quickly.
Clarity immediately gritted her teeth and stared straight at the ground. The two hearts of the princesses sank when they saw tears run down her cheeks, dripping onto the floor.
"Oh dear... Clarity, what is the matter?" Celestia asked soothingly. "Is it about your job? I for one thought you enjoyed it immensely."
"No - princess - it's not me," Clarity sobbed. "It's - it's - T-Toby -"
Luna and Celestia exchanged a look of dread, then returned their attention to the distressed guard. Celestia then said in an urgent tone, "Clarity - what's wrong with Toby??"
"He - he tried -" she sobbed, struggling for words. "He tried to - to die!! "
"To WHAT!? " both of the princesses yelped.
"What do you mean, 'he tried to die'??" Luna asked in a slightly shaky tone.
"He - he tied his bed sheet into some sort of knot, and - and tied it around h-his n-neck - and then t-tried to st-strangle himself!!" Clarity cried, looking almost beside herself. "H-He's in the in-infirmary wing..."
Luna gulped. "He killed himself?" she asked in the smallest of voices.
"I - I don't know, y-your highness!" Clarity replied, choking slightly.
Celestia brought Clarity into a hug with a wing, and held her there. Clarity was extremely receptive to this, and buried her head into the solar princess's shoulder and poured out her grief. Celestia herself began to tear up. Never, in a thousand years...
"I'm - I'm going to go see him," Luna choked, and departed the room at high speed. Celestia continued to hug Clarity until she began to quiet down. Tears of her own had fallen into Clarity's mane, making it slightly damp.
"You have done well, Clarity. No one should have to experience what you have gone through," Celestia said consolingly.
Clarity picked herself up and managed a watery smile. She then departed the room, leaving Celestia in silence. She thought for a moment, than made for the door slowly.
"I think I'll go join my sister..." she said softly to herself.
Clarity finished her recollections in heavy tears. The nurse had left the room to briefly grab some supplies, leaving just the two of them behind.
Toby took a moment to process the story. It was clear that the guard wasn't lying, but on the other hand, he wanted to be left alone.
"Well... so there have been some sad moments since I was put here. Cool - but then, suddenly , you all realize that life continues on without me," Toby replied stubbornly. "Shocker."
Clarity whopped him on the shoulder, giving him a painful start. "Don't mock me, Toby!! You've scared the sweet bucking Tartarus out of everypony !!"
"A likely story," Toby growled, scooting to the other side of the bed.
"Oh yeah?" Clarity said angrily, beginning to tear up. "Do you seriously want me to give you a rundown of the past three days you've been here?"
"No, not really," Toby deadpanned.
Clarity ignored him. "Princess Celestia has been unable to go a whole day with her royal duties without taking space at least seven times. Princess Twilight has been an absolute wreck , and I won't even tell about Fluttershy.
"Rainbow Dash has been doing chores - chores - to try and make herself feel better, but anypony can tell it's not working. Princess Twilight's other friends - Applejack and Pinkie Pie - well, I don't know much about them, but I can tell you that Pinkie Pie won't be throwing any parties anytime soon, and that's basically all she does."
Toby raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like someone's been paying attention. What about Moonbutt?"
"That's Princess Luna to you," Clarity snapped, "And she hasn't been seen since the day you tried to strangle yourself." Her voice hitched on the word strangle .
Toby sat up a bit. Now, that was interesting - no one just hides themselves away for no reason - and it was clear that Moonbutt hated him. Right?
"Toby - listen, we want to help you," Clarity said quietly, knocking him bluntly out of his thoughts. "Also, you shouldn't be sitting up, remember...?" She moved forward and raised her hooves to help him, but he swatted them away.
"Don't - touch me," he said, looking down at the hand he had used to repel her. "I - I just need to be alone. Stay away from me."
Clarity bit her lip and looked at the ground. "O-Okay... just so you know, Princess Celestia is coming to see you later... just thought y-you'd like the heads up..."
She moved to the door and opened it. Before she left, she hesitated, then turned back to face Toby.
"Please... just know that you are valuable... 'bye..." She left, looking dejected. Seconds after she left, Nurse Blueheart trotted in.
"Oh, did Ms. Clarity leave so soon? Usually she sits in that chair for hours," she said, gesturing over to a cushioned chair next to the door.
Toby grunted, feeling a small balloon of guilt swell up in his chest.
When the nurse had notified Toby that he would be staying for only a couple days more, he couldn't have been more happy. Well, happy was a rather relative term, but I digress.
Unfortunately, that mood lasted for about two seconds. The nurse informed him that Princess Luna would be coming by later to talk with him.
"Wait - why her!? " Toby cried in outrage, sitting up. "Of all the princesses -"
"Mr. O'Leary, sit down!! " the nurse protested, bustling over to his bedside. She made to gently push him back down onto the pillow, but he batted away her hoof. She backed away, looking hurt and startled.
"Don't," Toby snapped. "I'm fine . You ponies don't have any boundaries."
Nurse Bluecross opened her mouth slightly, but only managed a strangled squeak. She then shook her head dejectedly and left the room.
Toby allowed himself to flop back down onto his pillow. As he did this, he noticed that his right arm felt curiously stiff. He looked down and saw a cast there. How had he not noticed it before? Maybe in all the excitement of avoiding food he managed to forget that his arm was broken. How in the world did he manage?
Maybe you're finally becoming numb, he thought to himself. It's not like I'm a stranger to pain at this point...
He rolled onto his good side and closed his eyes. Maybe he could sleep through the rest of the day. He slowly drifted off into the dreamscape, trying not to think about Luna.
When he woke up, the lighting outside the window on the other end of the room was much dimmer than it had been when he had fell asleep, meaning he had slept most of the day away.
He sighed. Did this mean he had slept through Luna's visit? That would have been swell!
Looking around the room, he confirmed that he was all alone. Only a couple more days until he was able to leave this wretched place, a couple more days until he could space himself from these ponies as far as humanly possible.
He heard a pair of voices out in the hall and forced himself to remain still, feigning sleep.
"Doctor, you're sure...?" said a brighter feminine voice.
"Positive," replied a deeper, masculine voice. Probably the doctor.
"Okay. Well, if he's not awake, I can leave..." said the female voice in a solemn tone. Why did the voice sound so familiar?
"You're allowed to check, your highness," the doctor replied. "I just can't guarantee anything. All I'm saying that he's making a faster recovery than we thought he would."
"That's really a relief," replied the feminine voice. They were now resonating from just outside the door to his ward.
The door creaked open, and Toby chanced a peek. The doctor bowed at the doorway and left the room, allowing passage to a very purple princess. Of course... that's why he recognized the voice.
Princess Twilight seemed to buy the fact that he was sleeping and crept up to his bedside, obviously taking care not to wake him. She looked down at him silently, breathing slowly. She let out a deep exhale, and raised a hoof tentatively.
"Oh, Toby..." she muttered sadly, extending it to his arm in a sympathetic fashion. Upon her touch, he flinched, making her yelp and jump backward in alarm.
Knowing his gig was up, Toby slowly sat up and acted as if he had just woke up from a deep sleep. He eyed the princess wearily.
"Oh - I'm so sorry - I-I didn't mean to wake you up," Twilight murmured apologetically. "I just wanted to see how you were - you know... holding up..." She faltered off into an awkward silence.
Toby studied her. "Why did you really come here?" he asked shrewdly, squinting slightly.
Twilight took in a deep breath. "I - I wanted to say that I was sorry, sorry that I didn't help you - sorry that I didn't stop Rainbow Dash from -" She stopped immediately as soon as she a cold look harden on Toby's face.
Noticing this, Toby exhaled tensely and waved a hand at her in a dismissive way. "No - it's fine, go on."
"W-Well - I just came to let you know that if there's anything I can do for you..." Twilight continued somberly.
Toby scrutinized her suspiciously for another moment, then shifted on his bed with a grunt.
"I guess I do have a question or two that needs to be answered," Toby replied casually.
Twilight suddenly smiled. "Really? I'd love to answer them!"
Toby forced a small smile. "Am I going back to my cell when the doctor releases me?"
Twilight gulped. "I - I don't know - the matter hasn't been given much thought since you tried to... anyway, I'm being crowned as Equestria's ultimate princess several days from now, so everypony's been busy..."
Toby slumped back into the bed. "Why do you frickin' ponies insist on keeping me in there? That terrible, horrible, dark, cold, miserable dungeon? It makes no sense - you go to all that effort to try to make me eat, be happy, and be compliant - as if I hadn't already been before - and yet you still detain me like that?? You're all insane! Mad! Ridiculous - and I might go as far as to even say inhumane!! "
"I-Inhumane?" Twilight asked weakly.
"It means to treat others without compassion towards their misery or suffering," Toby deadpanned in reply. "In my case - both. Will I ever be released, or am I the new royal pet?"
"That's a terrible thing to say," Twilight said quietly with watery eyes. "Do you even hear yourself?"
"For your information, yes - yes I do . And I hate it, hate every minute of it. If you haven't noticed, I hate myself, princess. I have ever since that stinkin' war, and it's only gotten worse since. When I came here to your magical pony land, it got worse exponentially . So, please - just don't talk to me like that, as if I don't know. If anyone doesn't understand, it's you ponies ." He covered his face with a pillow, trying to pretend not to notice the tears flooding down Twilight's face.
"Toby... please - don't hate yourself, you have so much life ahead of you -"
"Indeed?" Toby growled, slightly muffled by the pillow. "That is ultimately up to me, last time I checked."
Twilight gritted her teeth and stomped her hoof in protest. "Toby, why are you acting as if we hate you!?"
"Because you have yet to prove otherwise!!" Toby snapped loudly.
Twilight flinched, her ears flattening against the back of her head. "Toby... please please please, let me help you. I care ! I know humans aren't bad! Psychologically, they're nearly identical to ponies!!"
Toby hesitated. This may have been true, she had claimed to know what humans are - which Toby soon believed, for she was the only pony who didn't seem weirded out by his appearance.
"How could you care?" he finally said in a very quiet voice. "You don't even know me; everyone's different."
"Which is why I want to know you - the real Toby - the good, the bad, the in-between!!" Twilight pressed, regaining her confident tone. The tears were still coming, but she didn't care. What mattered right then was that she saved Toby.
"I - I..." Toby stammered, but fell silent. Why not give her a chance? He was sure she had buttered him up to get him to talk - but was that her true intention? It was a risk - and maybe he was being ridiculous by saying so - but he was sick of ponies. All the same - why not let her? It wasn't like it mattered - he was going back to that cell either way, no matter what he told them.
"Fine," he muttered in a defeated, dead tone.
Twilight gave him a watery smile and wiped her eyes. She then levitated a chair over to his bedside and walked over. Making eye contact with him, she asked, "You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"
Toby shook his head, and she promptly took her seat.
"Now," she said in a comforting tone, "What was your home like?"
"Before or after the war?" Toby replied wearily.
"Oh... sorry," Twilight apologized quickly. "Sensitive topic?"
"No, it's fine," Toby grunted. "I guess I don't really mind telling you about it, if you want to hear it bad enough."
Twilight nodded her head earnestly.
"Well..." Toby sighed, chewing on a fingernail in thought. "Before the war, I couldn't of asked for a better life, really. I was top of my class, ready to pursue a career in the advanced sciences... my family was so proud of me. No siblings; just a mother and father... father was a righteous man. Anyone who he had pride in should consider themselves the luckiest beings on the planet. He was a very hard man - but loved me more than I could know - well, before the war, anyway..." Toby faltered off miserably.
"And... your mother?" Twilight asked, gulping slightly.
"She always placed her religion and her family first, as did my father, but she was a more gentle force in the family," Toby replied sadly. "She was probably the nicest lady in America - not exaggerating. She always told me that, no matter where my path take me, that I work hard to achieve. She was full of wisdom, mother was. Both of my parents loved me to the moon and back - they supported everything I did with more effort than most people see necessary."
"What is a 'people'?" Twilight asked curiously.
"It's like saying 'ponies' here in your world; it references humans," Toby replied, looking slightly taken aback at being interrupted for such a strange question.
"Oh - okay... sorry, please continue," Twilight said, nodding.
Toby sighed. "As I was saying, my parents were the most supportive when it came to my ambitions. I almost made it into a university by the name of Oxford, which is one of the most prestigious universities for science and discovery back where I come from - and then that military officer visited me..."
"Did you have any friends back in your world?" Twilight asked.
"I - yeah, I did," Toby replied dejectedly. "My best friend was trying to make it into Harvard - one of those famous universities like Oxford - but he got drafted into the war as well. There was also this - chick - her name was Marietta. Jeez, I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful pair of eyes in my life."
"You were in love?" Twilight pressed lightly, a smile forming on her face.
"Yeah," Toby replied bitterly, "Key word there being 'were '."
"Oh dear," Twilight squeaked, dropping her smile in an instant.
"I remember her making me promise that I would come back alive from the war," Toby reminisced with a painful look on his face. "I took that promise to heart. I did everything I could to survive, eventually making me - well, I get to that later," he added mysteriously.
"So - wait - what happened?" Twilight asked quietly.
"I said I'll get to that later," Toby said dismissively. "Before I left, Marietta was the one who kept a flame of saneness alight inside of me. I thought she was the one - I trusted her - but when I came home from the war, desperate to see her, I saw her making out with another man."
Twilight put a hoof up to her mouth. "Toby, I - I'm so sorry you had to deal with that."
Toby nodded slowly, staring at his bedsheets. "That isn't all that had changed about life during the war. My parents couldn't even see me as their own son after I left the war - and I don't blame them... I had no one to go to. Nothing to do. I simply just drove around the lake at the edge of my hometown, day after day, wondering what was so wrong with me that made everyone turn me away. Finally, I decided to end it - I threw myself off a tree - and then I somehow ended up in this place."
"You - you've tried to kill yourself twice now!?" Twilight yelped, tearing up again. "Toby, how could you??"
"Not worth it anymore, I guess," Toby replied in an oddly casual tone. "Just no point in living."
"You just have to look for a reason!!" Twilight sobbed. "I know you have a purpose."
Toby looked at the ground at the base of Twilight's chair. "I once thought that too - but I've given Him up. He has done nothing for me, especially in my time of need."
Twilight gave him an inquisitive look. "What do you mean?"
"I once believed in an all-powerful God - the one and only deity that created the Earth and everything in it," Toby replied, taking a deep breath. "A God that supposedly loves us beyond everything. Well, I've prayed - and prayed - but he hasn't done squat for me."
"Is that the religion you mentioned earlier?" Twilight asked curiously. "It sounds like a hope-giving one."
Toby chuckled darkly. "Heh. Yeah, it did at one point, didn't it? But He betrayed me in my moment of need."
There was a very pregnant moment of tense silence between the two of them that seemed to go forever.
"Toby...?" Twilight asked quietly.
"What?"
"Do you think you could tell me about - about your war?"
The human sat up straight and faced the purple princes with an intense stare. Twilight did not waver, but she did inhale deeply as the two stared at one another.
"You realize that the concept of it is something I can't see in a happy-go-lucky land of ponies?" Toby asked seriously.
Twilight grimaced. "Was it that bad?"
Toby sighed. "It's worse than anything you could possibly imagine. But I guess it wouldn't hurt my position to tell you - but I'll give you the short, simplified version."
Twilight nodded.
"It starts with governmental policy called Communism - which basically means everything is shared among the public. Resources everything. Good idea, but it doesn't work. So there's this country called the Soviet Union - they're communists. My country, America, was Capitalistic - basically the same type of economy a monarchy like this country would have.
"Anyway, the Soviet Union wanted to spread its influence, so it began doing so through its neighboring countries. My government, being the idiots they are, didn't like this. So they sent in troops to a tropical country by the name of Vietnam to halt the progress of the Communist movement. Well, we were fighting on unfamiliar terrain, so that went about as well as one might expect. We were getting our asses handed to. America needed troops, so they began recruiting young, healthy men like myself - regardless of whether they wanted to fight or not. Young men like myself.
"Nights in those in the rain forest were a new kind of hell. Black presses in on you from every side. Every little noise makes you jump. It's enough to make the sanest of men go crazy within a week - one of my fellow soldiers completely lost his mind and ran off into the forest. We never saw him again."
"Sweet Celestia," Twilight murmured in a tiny, horrified voice.
"Most of the things I can tell you are things you don't understand unless you experience them," Toby continued sadly. "The nights were only a fraction of the crap I had to deal with in 'Nam. Actual encounters with the enemy were actually few and far between, to be honest until I got relocated to a different troop. In my old troop, I had the privilege of getting to watch each and every one of my friends die."
A tear fell down Twilight's face. "That's horrible."
"You don't know the half of it," Toby replied thickly, starting to tear up himself. "My good pal Eric? He stepped on a land mine - an explosive device you place under the ground, activated when someone steps on it."
"So - wait - you just step in a certain place - and just explode?" Twilight put in, disgusted.
"Basically," Toby affirmed. "There was another guy - his name was Harry - he fell into a pit-trap full of punji sticks - basically wooden stakes fastened into the ground and coated in either feces or poison."
Twilight shook her head vigorously to try to rid the image that had just been placed in her mind.
"Then - when I was relocated to that other troop, the stars aligned and I was somehow with my best friend from school again Carter," Toby continued, and Twilight perked up.
"Well, there's something that went well!" she said in a hopeful voice, but Toby shook his head sadly. She ears flattened as she asked, "No - he didn't die too, did he?"
"He stepped into a booby trap that throws you into a tree," Toby rasped as the tears began to flow. "The tree was l-laced with sharp cords and - and we spent the rest of that day c-cleaning his g-guts from the lower canopy of the surrounding t-trees -"
"STOP!!" Twilight sobbed, standing up. "Oh, Toby - I can't - I'm so sorry!!" These details were obviously way too much for her to mentally handle. She stood up on her hind legs and embraced Toby before he could react.
Toby froze as the princess hugged him consolingly, but felt a bit strange at the fact that he had no desire to fight her off - it actually felt a little... comforting. Consoling.
After a long moment, Twilight released him and replaced her chair. She fixed him with a sad smile. "Toby - please remember that I'm willing to talk - I just wasn't mentally prepared to hear such awful things..." She shuddered. "I - I can come again another time, if you like."
Toby thought for a minute, his eyes tracing Twilight's genuine face for any trace of betrayal. When he was completely and utterly positive he saw no hint of it, he slowly nodded.
"Awesome - I would be more than happy to," Twilight said brightly, levitating a handkerchief over and proceeding to wipe her nose with it. "In the meantime, if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask."
The princess made to leave, but as she did, a thought popped into Toby's mind.
"Er - princess?" he asked.
Twilight turned and gave him a polite look of curiousness, despite the fact that her eyes were red and puffy. "You can call me Twilight, Toby."
"Er - okay," Toby replied, uncomfortably shifting on his bed. "Do - do you know why Princess Luna of all princesses wanted to see me earlier?"
Twilight squinted at him. "How did you know that? She said you were asleep ."
"Oh - that," Toby replied, looking guilty. "Er - the nurse tipped me off, and -"
"Were you sleeping on purpose?" Twilight asked shrewdly.
"Er - um - maybe -"
Twilight shook her head. "You need to give her a chance, Toby - she's been in a right state ever since you tried to - you know..." She faltered, looking at him meaningfully.
"Kill myself?" Toby finished for her. "Yeah - that guard Clarity told me that suicide doesn't really exist among ponykind. Can you answer my question, though??"
Twilight sighed. "If I knew the specifics, I would tell you. All I know is that she came here looking kind of desperate, then when she thought you were asleep, she left looking more miserable than I've ever seen her."
"You're lying," Toby replied disbelievingly.
"I'm not," Twilight deadpanned. "Luna, believe it or not, is an extremely caring pony. She's probably feeling beside herself with guilt right now, and needs to make it up to you."
"What could I possibly want from her?? " Toby snapped. "She was a jerk!! "
"I know, but I've seen her talking with Celestia about it, and it's clear that she's only putting on a strong face around you!" Twilight replied indignantly.
"She was - wh-what?" Toby stammered. "A strong face? Around me? Why the hell would she do that!? "
Twilight shook her head sadly. "Toby, please - just give her a chance. You gave me one, after all..."
"Well, you have been kind to me ever since you met me," Toby justified.
"While that may be true, I promise that Princess Luna has never hated you," Twilight said quietly. "Toby - please."
Toby groaned and sat back. "Fine," he said in a defeated tone. "I guess that's only a problem if she comes down here, anyway. Or to my cell, when I go back."
"For this place, that could be arranged," Twilight said slyly. "As for your cell? I swear as soon as I'm princess, I'm getting you out. Somepony who had to go through anything like you did doesn't deserve to be kept in prison like this."
Toby froze. "You - you're serious?"
Twilight nodded, then flapped over to his bedside again. She held out her hooves, offering a hug.
"You kidding? You promised that you're going to give me freedom - that's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time," Toby said, the corner of his mouth twitching. "Of course you can have a hug."
Twilight let out a small squee and embraced him. After a moment, she released him and made for the door. As she reached it, she turned and looked at Toby.
"Do you - do you mind if I tell Princess Celestia?" she asked hesitantly. "About - about... you know... the things you've been through."
Toby sighed. "Fine, just don't let this blow up into a big deal."
Twilight gave him an indignant look. "So you're just going to bottle this up??"
"You heard me - I don't want anyone to trouble themselves over me," Toby replied. "If you can't agree to that, I swear, you better not tell anyone."
Twilight groaned. "You know I can't do that, Toby - it's for your own good."
"Then everyone will try and baby me!!" Toby snapped. "No - nothing doing, Twilight."
"Toby..."
"I said no."
"Well, then," Twilight said smugly, straightening up a bit. "I didn't want to use this card, but... as a princess, I'll do what I please."
"That's evil!! " Toby cried as Twilight opened the door to leave. "Don't do this -"
Twilight gave him a super concerned look. "Toby - this is for your own good. You claimed that we princesses don't care? I'll prove to you that you're wrong."
"But - hey!!" Toby protested, but Twilight had already left.
He flopped back down onto his pillow, morosely trying to process everything that had just happened. He was so sure that everyone here hated him, especially Princess Luna - but after that discussion with Twilight, he was now more confused than ever.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Sunshine rained down upon Canterlot, basking the entire capital of Equestria in a golden glow as the light reflected off of the marble streets. Every single soul in the place was hearty, upbeat, and anticipating change.
Especially a certain human in the Mental Health ward in the royal hospital wing.
Yes, Toby was in fairly high spirits - as high as they could be, anyway - for this day would be a day of change. A day of freedom. The day he could finally get away from these ponies, no matter how much they wanted him to stay. He would keep to his resolve; he had enough trouble with the species to last him a lifetime.
Today was the day Twilight was crowned as Princess of Equestria. She had promised him freedom, and she dead set on granting him it after the talk the two of them had together.
So where would he go when he left these ponies behind? Far away was sort of a vague term. Whenever he pictured his freedom, he would picture a quaint little cottage in a small forest clearing, where he could live in solitude. He had read an article during his school days that solitary moments in the midst of nature could soothe the soul. If this was true, Toby was willing to make it a pattern of life.
Then the explosion happened.
Fortunately, Toby was being a naughty patient when it happened. Performing his daily disregard of the nurse's instructions, he paced the length of his room, anxiously mulling everything that had happened to him in the past few weeks in his head. It had been such a drastic change to be unceremoniously thrown from one world into the next. But how had it happened? Some sort of portal?
Nah, too childish. Too simple. Almost all inter-dimensional-travel-related phenomena were blown off by the use of portals. It was still a possibility, however - no matter how much Toby detested the cliche idea used in countless Sci-Fi movies back in his world.
Then he was immediately thrown into a prison cell. However, ever since that talk with Twilight, he had experienced a strange change in the way he thought about the whole situation. Instead of feeling extremely bitter every time he thought about it, he considered the probable fact that the princesses were only upholding their priorities of keeping their nation safe - of course, there still could have been more consideration on his behalf, which inevitably made him bitter.
But did the ponies here really care about him? After that deep conversation, he was convinced Twilight was telling the truth about herself as well as several others that came to mind - but Princess Luna? There was no way that a living being could have such a drastic emotional turnaround that quick - right?
He sighed in the midst of these speculations and walked over to the cabinet to pour himself a glass of water. He smacked his lips after taking a deep sip. Man, hospital water was disgusting.
This world of ponies he had been thrown into - from the very little he saw of it, he guessed that it had many similarities to his own world. That should make it easier to adapt to it - it wasn't like he had any intention of returning to his home world - unless things were drastically different outside the castle walls.
He casually leaned up against the counter and took another swig of water, feeling it wash away the dry spot in the back of his throat. As he did this, he observed the room around him casually for the umpteenth time, taking in all the familiar details.
He froze. Something wasn't right - there was a faint noise, but he couldn't quite put a finger on it. It sounded like the echoes of a din that was happening a good distance away. He listened closer.
Shouting. Crumbling noises. Screaming. Laughing...?
Oohh, whatever's happening in this pony-castle, it's gonna be good, he thought to himself. It sounds like it might add a bit of flavor to the everyday life he-
BOOM!!!
The opposite side of the room exploded, showering the room in dust and splinters. Toby instinctively crouched and covered his head with his cast, feeling the impacts of the debris. When he looked up, the dust was still settling. Furniture had been tossed around like playthings. A massive, gaping hole was all that was left of the opposite wall and the hallway outside. The wall next to his bed had been crumbled as well, and sunlight streamed in through the hole the explosion had left, leaving an excellent view of...
Wow. Was that the castle the princesses live in?
He was literally standing in a marble city that appeared to be on the side of a mountain.
The sounds of shouting were now louder. Looking up towards the source of the noise - the castle's throne room, he was guessing - Toby witnessed something that made him question his own sanity.
An extremely large, buff centaur-thing with massive horns crawled out of the rubble, snarling. He growled and leapt back towards the throne room. There he could see a couple other figures dashing about through the large hole made in the wall of the throne room.
Now was his chance. Not missing a beat, Toby gathered all of his bedsheets except one together and tied them into a long rope. He tied one end firmly to the end of the bed, and tossed the other end through the blast crater in the wall. With the last sheet, he fashioned himself a makeshift toga - you know, so he wouldn't be running around in a hospital gown that would allow him to moon everyone he encountered.
He climbed out of the hole and gingerly let himself down on the charred remains of the hospital wing. He hoped everyone had been evacuated - if not...
He shook the thought out of his head and began to pick his way through the wreckage towards the wrecked outer walls. Peeking over the charred remains, he saw a very long drop down the mountainside - so that way was not an option... unless...
He saw an artificial waterfall flowing out of the side of the city's foundation, a good fifty feet away. Hardly daring to believe his luck, he hurried through the remains. If he moved along the edge of the wreckage, he could position himself directly above the waterfall.
Was this a safe idea? Probably not. But if he wanted to get away, this was the only way without being caught.
As if fate had read his thoughts, he felt a sharp tug on his blanket-toga, pulling him backward. He looked around quickly to see who was responsible, and groaned.
Clarity, in full-armor, stood there glaring extreme daggers at him. Her teeth were bared, and she looked beside herself with anger. Among the rubble behind her, soldiers emerged, pointing long spears in his direction.
"You're kidding me, right!?" Toby snarled. "What gives??"
"I have orders to not let you esca - er, leave!" Clarity snapped. "And I'm definitely not going to watch you throw yourself off the mountain!!"
"I'm not even trying to kill myself!!" Toby retorted indignantly. "I'm just sick of you ponies - how many times do I have to say it??"
Every pony who had heard him flinched at the mention of killing himself.
"Princess Twilight was going to give you a chance!" Clarity protested. "A new life!"
"I don't want a new life," Toby replied, inching towards the edge. "I want to live my own life."
"Toby, DON'T YOU DARE!! " Clarity shrieked as Toby had backed up as far as he could go. She made to hurry forward with a horrified look on her face, but halted abruptly as Toby froze.
"So... what's going on in the throne room...?" asked Toby, half of him genuinely curious, the other half hoping that the overbearing guard would take the piss and look.
"Three of Equestria's most dangerous villains are in a fight against Twilight and her friends," Clarity replied, not taking her eyes off of him. "I was given orders to make sure that you were kept safe! And now you're about to jump off a cliff!!"
Toby grinned. "Alright, yeah - something like that."
Clarity recoiled. "Wait, you're not actually gonna - oh sweet Celestia," she said, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. "Toby, NO!! "
"Sayonara, retards!" Toby cackled, and hopped backwards. He felt the thrill of cold air rushing by him, whistling sharply. Any second, now -
He hit the waterfall with force. He did it - surrounded by guards, too! He escaped!
But now the water was pulling him down, down - Canterlot was shrinking, quickly shrinking to the size of a soccer ball. Then a golf ball...
When he hit the water below, everything went black.
There is a forest that holds many magical myths and legends south of Canterlot - one that is rumored to hold some of the most wonderful, magnificent animals ever - the kind of magical nature with which humans would see unicorns on Earth.
It was now Hearth's Warming season, and a feverish attitude gripped the atmosphere in the only nearby village - small as it was, it was one known all over Equestria. It was famous for many things - the current residence of Princess Twilight Sparkle, champions of the most recent Equestria games, the monster attacks... but most importantly, the wonderful, magical feel of the place.
The name? Quite simple - Ponyville. When the name of Ponyville was heard in Equestria, smiles followed.
North of this village was the Whitetail Wood - the mentioned forest where mythical creatures were said to live. One of these widely acknowledged creatures was the jackalope - a creature that resembled a very large rabbit with antelope horns. Legends had told ponies for years that if one could capture a jackalope, they would become very lucky. If they could manage to befriend the jackalope - their descendants would prosper and thrive for generations.
Now, it wasn't uncommon among ponies to not believe in this sort of thing - after all, nopony had ever seen a jackalope. Those who had claimed to were always disproved and exposed as liars looking to gain attention. Therefore, jackalopes became a mythical creature, since all evidence pointed towards their nonexistence.
However, in the third week before Hearth's Warming Eve - the day after Canterlot had been attacked by Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy Glow - something magical happened.
In the thick of Whitetail Wood, along the banks of the Canterlot River, a squirrel sniffed along the ground, scavenging for any last minute scraps for hibernation. The river sat to its right - and to its left, a bush rustled, causing it to freeze in place. It stared at the bush motionlessly, waiting for the intruder to make its first move.
Behind the squirrel, a blur moved up a tree. It moved so quickly and silently that the squirrel gave no notice - whatever it was, it could have gone anywhere imaginable merely by its stealth. It hopped down from the branches, noiselessly landing on the ground. It approached the squirrel slowly from behind, regarding it with interest.
The squirrel seemed to realize what was happening, for it instantly relaxed. It turned and saw the creature standing there, in all of its subtle glory - a slim, muscular rabbit, roughly the size of a bobcat, with a magnificent pair of horns on its head.
The squirrel chattered briefly before scampering off. The jackalope understood, but it came as nothing new to it. It was forewarned of the coming winter storm by its own instinct, but was appreciative nonetheless of the critter's concern - the gloomy gray clouds above had already given it away. The reason it had come out of its hibernation shelter was that it had felt an unusual disturbance along the shore.
It lowered its head to the shore and sniffed slightly, then swiveled its ears. Drawing back up to full height, it sauntered over to the river banks, and leapt out onto a large boulder in the middle of the river. It quivered slightly, perching itself upon the rock, staring at the icy water intently. It flinched, then made an attempt to grab something in the water with its mouth.
The jackalope returned to the shore and dragged the motionless form of some sort of hairless ape up onto the river bank. It had never seen anything like him before... it shook the water off of itself, staring at the new discovery curiously.
It pressed an ear to the ape's soaked chest. No breathing. No heartbeat. The thing was just still. The jackalope closed its eyes and placed the tip of its antlers to the ape's chest.
Instantly, the thing gasped for air and sat straight up. It patted itself all over with an expression of disbelief. It then slowly looked up and made eye contact with the jackalope.
"AAUGH!" the ape cried, falling onto its behind. "What in the -??"
A pang of fear coursed down the jackalope's spine. The thing was sapient! It had to leave. Without hesitation, it turned and bounded back into the forest.
"No - wait!" cried the ape, but it was already gone.
Toby sat there on the riverbank puzzling over what he had just seen. Some sort of rabbit with horns - did it save him? If so, why did it run?
He got to his feet unsteadily, shivering. He would follow it, of course - spending all those nights in those miserable jungles did teach him a thing or two about how to find animals. However, that was so he could avoid him - today, he was chasing.
He stumbled off in the direction he saw the creature go. Sapient or not, he had a strange urge to get some closure - or at least thank it for saving his life.
As he walked, a startling revelation came to mind. He kind of wanted to be alive - could it be the fact that he was now a free man now made him feel less - well - contained in his mind? He was no longer contained physically , of course, but now that he was actually free, the lack of dark thoughts was quite noticeable.
Of course, he still knew he was worthless - why those ponies wasted their energies on him, he would never know... he would never forget the way he was treated at the castle as well as back on Earth.
As he proceeded through the woods, he wondered how Twilight was faring in her fight - or at least, Clarity told him that she was in a fight. Despite the fact he had finally escaped from the ponies whom he disliked so much, he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at the thought of how Twilight would feel about his disappearance. Well - if she won that fight with her friends, anyway.
He paused. He had walked at least five hundred yards in the general direction in which the creature went, and still hadn't seen a single sign that it had come this way.
What was that trick that he had learned during his days in 'Nam? The differences between predator and prey in terms of hiding - if he were a predator, he would make sure to always stay just beyond the victim's line of vision. If he were the animal being chased, like that weird creature... he would make sure to stay out of sight, keep low, making sure to know where the hunter was at all times - and have a good hiding place.
He started off again, although this time with care, treading over sticks, loose stones, and low-lying bushes. He proceeded slowly, but silently. He kept his breath controlled - if he had any sort of camouflage, this would have been much easier. Nonetheless, he proceeded, using extreme caution and planning with every ginger step.
Soon Toby came up on a very small stream, which trickled by noisily despite its size. This would provide slightly more cover for the tiny sounds he made with every bit of progress.
Before long, the stream was far behind him. How far had he come into these woods? Was the creature really that important? It wasn't like he had much to do...
An icy wind sharply blew through the trees, creating a rushing sound as it moved through their branches. Toby shuddered. Scratch that - he needed to find a place to build a shelter, before the weather got bad. He would have to forget about that creature if he wanted to survive out here. It wasn't like he was going to find it - not at the rate things were going, anyway...
As soon as he thought that, a sharp howl cut through the chilled air. Not from the wind - it was the unmistakable howl of a wolf. He frowned. So they had wolves here in this world, too - how would they react to a human?
He was about to set off back towards the river until another sharp noise cut across the cold forest - it was some sort of a shriek - it sounded scared. Seconds later, a myriad of howls hollered in reply. It was close, too - probably closer than a quarter-mile to his location.
Without thinking, he began running in the direction of the din, forgetting his plan of stealth completely. His bare feet pounded over the mossy forest floor, aching with cold, but Toby didn't care. Could that shriek have been what he really thought it was?
A large boulder loomed into view, and he paused shortly to catch his breath, listening intently for any other noise. The howls were much louder now - and they sounded hungry ... there was another noise too, but it was drastically different than the howls in tone - much deeper, guttural...
A growl, without a doubt - but how could he here growling from this far away?
Suddenly, Toby found himself falling face-first into the dirt as a heavy force knocked him down from behind with a howl. It was definitely one of the wolves, but he couldn't see it. It seemed to have fallen over in the attack, but by the sound of it it was reeling and preparing to pounce again, growling. As Toby was getting to his feet, he only had a glimpse of something that looked wooden before feeling a horrible, sharp pain on his back - the wolf had raked its claws across his back and held steady to its prey, refusing to yield its painful grip.
Toby kicked out behind him and felt his foot connect. The claws left his back, tearing a bit of skin as they did so. Toby howled and whirled around, to face his predator. His jaw dropped slightly when he saw the offender.
It was a wolf indeed - but something was much different about this one than the ones back on Earth. It was made completely of timber, twigs, and leaves. Its eyes had a nasty green glow about them, something that just screamed evil vibes.
Toby wasn't afraid, however. He reached over to the nearest tree branch in the area - a thick, sturdy birch - and used his damp cast to break it off. Picking it up, he faced the timber wolf, which seemed slightly more hesitant to attack. Toby grit his teeth, enraged.
"So," he growled in a deadly voice. "That's how you want to play it, eh? You're fucking with the wrong guy, pal."
The wolf lunged at him, but Toby was faster. He sidestepped and brought the branch down on the wolf's head as it went passed. It flattened on the forest floor, whimpering. Toby placed his foot on the wolf's head and stomped down, pouring out his anger towards the wolf through the scarred pads on the bottom of his feet.
Taking a second to enjoy his opponent's satisfying defeat, he picked himself up and continued towards the howls. He hadn't traveled a hundred yards before coming to a large dip-clearing in the woods.
A massive pack of those wooden wolves were all slowly advancing upon a single point on the far side of the clearing. When Toby recognized the prey, his heart gave a miniature jump.
It was the creature he had been tracking. It had save his life, hadn't it? Now, he was going to repay the favor.
The wolves were all advancing at a very slow rate, which gave Toby a chance to look around the clearing for a way to deal with such a large pack. Some dead trees, pebbles, loose twigs, as well as a fallen tree and a couple boulders that lined the very edges of the clearing.
Wait - dead tree. Boulders.
The cogs in Toby's mind began to turn as he snuck glances at the clearing. They were getting uncomfortably close to the creature - he needed to act, and soon.
Inching to the nearest boulder, he couldn't of asked for a better set-up - the boulder was practically halfway towards falling into the clearing. All it would need was a little push.
Bracing his feet, Toby threw all he had into pushing it. To his slight surprise, it gave instantly. The boulder tumbled into the clearing, crushing dozens of wolves before they knew what had happened.
The wolves temporarily forgot their prey and turned confusedly, snarling, whimpering, and gnashing their teeth alike. As they tried to focus their canine minds, Toby had moved on to the next stone. Once again, he threw his back into it, and sent it into the clearing, this time taking more effort.
It was complete chaos in the clearing. Two boulders had mysteriously fallen on many of the wolves' comrades, causing their pack to shrink to half the size of what it originally was.
Toby kept going, a feeling bit beside himself with how well his plan was working. He crept up to the dead tree and tried to lift it. This proved impossible, so he tried to push.
No beans.
He huffed, and looked up anxiously. The pack was beginning to slowly return its attention back towards their prey.
Toby looked around, starting to shiver. The fact that he was cold didn't matter right now - he needed to find a way to move that tree.
His eye caught a large, sturdy-looking stick on the ground a few feet away. Without hesitating, he bolted over to it and collected it, then returned to the fallen tree. He wedged the stick under the trunk and put all of his weight on one end. Slowly, the tree budged, moving closer to the edge.
"C'mon... c'mon...!" Toby urged as the tree was perched on the very tip of the clearing. Giving one final push, it gave and tumbled into the clearing, wiping out a large portion the distracted wolves. They reared and howled, turning to peer at the spot from the tree had fallen. Several of the wolves made sure their prey stayed in place while the others broke off to investigate.
Toby, finally realizing that the stupid canines were catching on, pelted off towards the last boulder. Unfortunately, this wasn't exactly the quietest of decisions, and wolves seemed to finally locate their common enemy. There was a great howl, and the chase was on.
Toby, feeling a surge of terror surge through his veins, willed himself to move even faster towards his destination. He slipped slightly while trying to stop once he had reached the boulder, causing him to fall on his bottom. Knowing he had no time to lose, he scrambled to his feet and began pushing with all of his might.
Of course, of all the boulders at the edge of the clearing, this one was the hardest to move. He grunted and groaned as he hoped against hope to give the boulder at least one productive push. Alas, he only managed to move it a couple inches.
A loud growl resonated from close by. Toby looked up just in time to see one of the wolves who had tried to flank him lunge at him. He kicked out at its jaw, and his aim was true - he kicked it clean off of the animal, who stumbled and collapsed into a pile of sticks. Three other wolves followed; however, they seemed to learn that straight attacks wouldn't work, and they slowly surrounded him.
Feeling a super-surge of adrenaline, Toby pushed harder than he had ever pushed before. Slowly, the boulder budged. It seemed to be making progress until it seemed to be stopped by a contradicting force.
"No!" he growled, gritting his teeth from the effort.
The three wolves pawed the ground, recognizing their advantage, and lunged. Just as they did so, the boulder rolled up and over a rock embedded firmly in the ground at the edge of the clearing. Toby toppled over backwards into the clearing, along with the three wolves.
Toby landed hard on his back, knocking all the air out of him. He staggered to his feet and looked up to see that the rabbit creature had been liberated from the wolves cornering it. Strangely enough, it wasn't moving - it stared at him curiously.
More growling brought Toby back to his senses. He turned to see the three wolves bearing down on him. Conveniently, they seemed to be the only remainder of the pack.
He growled back. "That thing saved my life," he snarled, pointing at the rabbit-thing. "And I'm not just going to let you kill it after it did such a thing."
The wolves pawed the ground and licked their lips in anticipation, slowly surrounding him. They seemed to be adapting to his fighting style - this was really the only time Toby had been given a real-life test of his hand-to-hand combat training - in 'Nam, he only ever needed to fire a gun.
Another freezing wind swept across the clearing, causing his shredded back to throb excruciatingly in protest. He stood his ground.
As the first wolf was about to lunge, a branch landed in front of Toby. He looked up, and the rabbit creature was sitting in his line of sight, just outside of the wolf-circle. Toby looked at it, and it stared back, looking like it was trying to tell him something. Toby's eyes flickered back and forth from the stick back to the creature, and he understood.
The creature winked, making Toby jump.
Another growl brought him back to the dangerous situation he was in. Picking up the branch, he brandished it before the wolves, who were considerably closer now. No escape - he had to fight. He grinned grimly.
"I'll see you in hell," he muttered darkly, clutching his branch tightly, and the nearest wolf snarled. It immediately lunged at him, and he sidestepped it, exposing his backside. Aware of this, he whirled around, just in time to block the next attack. He caught the wolf mid pounce with his branch, and kicked out. The wolf collapsed into pieces.
He turned and swung wildly, batting the next wolf out of the air while it was mid-pounce. It too was reduced to timbers, leaving just one more left. It seemed to realize that it was all alone, and attempted to flee.
As it turned tail and ran, Toby threw his branch low, knocking out the wolf's feet from under it. It flopped to the ground depressingly. Before it could regain its feet, Toby was there, standing on top of it.
"You and your pals should have attacked me all at once, stupid," Toby growled, stomping down on its face. With a satisfying crunch , it was reduced to splinters.
He collapsed to his knees, feeling shaky. When was the last time he had eaten?
The sound of soft footsteps approached, and he looked up. The rabbit creature stood over him confidently.
Toby managed a faint smile. "Thanks for saving my life," he panted. "If you can even understand me..."
He slowly staggered to his feet. He gave the thing an acknowledging nod, then turned and left the clearing through a small slope that was clearly the only way in or out. No wonder the rabbit creature was trapped.
He struggled on through the forest. His blanket was in near tatters, but it offered slight protection from the cold. He shivered as he progressed.
He continued in the same direction for some time, then sat down, trying to ignore the bitter chills of wind that were slowly picking up. He shuddered, looking at the ground. He hoped there weren't any more wolves out in the woods - they seemed like they didn't belong.
A slight rustling behind him made him jump to his feet, but his state caused him to stumble trying to do so. He turned to try and catch the intruder, but didn't have to look far.
The rabbit-creature was sitting there calmly behind him, staring at him with curiosity. The cold winter light reflected slightly off of its beetle black eyes.
"Wha - shoo," Toby said gently, waving his hands at the animal. It didn't budge; it simply stayed in place, staring at him intently.
Toby sighed and took a seat, regarding the rabbit creature with confusion. "Why were you following me?"
The creature blinked calmly.
"Please... you don't want to be around me," Toby grunted, standing up. "I don't have anything for you to eat - is that what you want?"
The creature gave him a look as if it were saying, Are you stupid?
Toby sighed and stood up. "I can't do anything for you - I'm sorry." With that said, he stood up from his seat and walked a couple paces. Behind him, the creature followed.
Noticing this, he came to a stop again and closed his eyes. He turned. "What?"
The creature cocked its head to one side, seemingly in reply. It was just so frickin' cute - those adorable black orbs for eyes - it was unfair.
Toby sighed and smiled slightly in spite of himself. "Alright... what's going on?"
It cocked its head again.
"Who am I kidding?" Toby asked himself, feeling stupid. "It can't understand me."
To his immense surprise, the creature shook its head.
"You - you can understand me, then?" he asked, bewildered.
The rabbit creature nodded, not breaking its gaze from the weary human.
"Is there a reason you're following me?"
It nodded its head.
"Is it because I saved your life?"
It nodded its head.
"Listen... it was nothing," Toby explained, exhausted. "You saved mine. We're fair now. You have no obligation to stay..."
The creature nodded its head.
"Are - Are you saying that you want to follow me??" asked Toby, amazed.
The thing nodded its head.
"But - but you have your own life," Toby protested. "You have obligations of your own - you don't need to... what are you doing?"
While he was speaking, the creature slowly walked up to Toby and around to his backside. It touched the tips of its antlers to Toby's ripped up back. The cold touch of the antler tips made him gasp, but immediately made him feel warm. A tingly sensation began to form on his wounds.
"Hey - h-hey, that feels weird," Toby chuckled. "Wh-What are you do-?"
The creature left, and the tingly sensation disappeared. Feeling the injured areas of his back, a shock of excitement coursed through his spine as his fingers felt only smooth skin.
The creature had healed him. Not only his skin - but his blanket-toga had been restored as well!
"Did you - why?" Toby asked in an awed tone, feeling himself all over. He turned to the creature. "I - thanks... but why did you do it?"
The rabbit creature walked up and rose up on its hind legs, placing its large, powerful legs on Toby's chest. It nuzzled his face in the same way a dog would nuzzle its beloved owner.
"I - oh," Toby stammered. "I - I take it you're not leaving me?"
The creature shook its head.
"Do you have a name?" Toby asked.
The rabbit creature shook its head.
"Well, if you're not leaving, I've gotta call you something..." Toby murmured. "Are you a male?"
The creature shook its head. So it was a 'she'.
"How about - Tacet?"
The creature cocked her head.
"It means 'silent' in an old language from my world," Toby replied. "Or Pacificae; peace."
The creature nodded enthusiastically.
"Okay," Toby said with a smile. "Pacificae it is - I'll call you 'peace' for short."
Peace leaned into his leg affectionately. Smiling, Toby rubbed her head and set off. Now, thanks to Peace, he could continue his journey with not only a healthy body, but a companion.
He smiled. He could now truly say that this was the happiest he's been in years.
As it turns out, building a cabin is hard. Even when you had a magical, strong, rabbit-antelope thing helping you, it was difficult.
Toby and his new companion had begun construction after a good hour or so of walking through the woods. Pacificae would assist him with scouting ahead for predators.
"So - what were those wolf-things, then?" Toby remembered asking during their trek.
Pacificae chattered in reply, pointing a paw towards the nearest tree.
"Tree...? Tree-wolves?" Toby asked.
Pacificae shook her head.
"Um... wood wolves?"
Nope.
Toby raked his brains for any word relating to 'tree'. After a moment, he stopped dead in his tracks. "No - that's stupid ... they're not called 'timber-wolves', are they?"
Pacificae nodded, and Toby groaned even louder.
"That's awful!" he complained. "Man, this place seems to be chalk-full of terrible puns. I mean, 'Canterlot ' as opposed to 'Camelot ' - terrible."
Pacificae chittered curiously. Ever since she had healed Toby with her antlers, she gave him the ability to sort of understand her - in other words, he could usually get the gist of what his friend was trying to say.
"What - have I been to Canterlot? Yeah - yeah, I have," Toby replied, vaulting over a fallen tree. "Yeah, good times. They kept me in the dungeons - they said it was because they didn't know whether I was dangerous or not. That was probably true, but they could have gone about dealing with it so much better."
Pacificae cocked her head to the right and chirped brightly.
"Oh - I jumped off the artificial waterfall flowing out of the mountain," Toby replied carelessly.
His furry friend hopped in front of him and chirped angrily.
"Well, of course I could have died!" Toby replied indignantly. "It was better than being around those ponies."
Pacificae gave him a reproachful look.
Toby sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry - it wasn't my intent to die, just a risk I was willing to take. Now, c'mon - I don't have a fur coat, so I need to find a place to build a shelter."
A half hour of walking later, the two had walked up a hilltop to find a large flat area on top. The soothing trickle of a creek could be heard close by.
Beaming, Toby said, "Perfect! Let's get to work, shall we?"
A short minute later, however, he encountered his first problem - he had no tools. He would have to find some makeshift tools or use his hands.
And he didn't want to use his hands.
Pacificae chirped at him.
"Yeah, this is the place," Toby said happily. "Only thing is, I have no tools to build a home... I need to be able to cut some logs and dig a foundation..."
Pacificae hopped closer and chirped excitedly.
"You - you can dig?" Toby replied, bewildered. "Not only that, but do you even know how to dig a foundation for a home?"
She nodded enthusiastically.
"I'm not even going to ask..." Toby muttered, turning around. "Okay, well - work your magic, I guess. I'm going to see if I can find any good sticks as well as rocks to make an axe."
As he walked away, Pacificae chattered after him.
"What? What do you mean, 'do you have a plan'? Of COURSE I have a plan," Toby called back. "Just do a simple rectangle shape or something, I don't care."
To his immense frustration, he couldn't find any suitable sticks or stones to make a makeshift axe. Grumbling, he returned to the place he had left his companion. The moment he saw what Pacificae had done, his jaw dropped.
The foundation had been perfectly dug - or at least, perfect for his limited knowledge of construction. It was about five to six feet deep with incredibly smooth walls. Not a single little pile of dirt could be seen on the floor of the hole; it was all in a neat heap on the other side of the hole. Below him, Pacificae sneezed as she sat there patiently.
"P-Peace - did you do this just now ??" Toby asked in awe.
Pacificae nodded.
"Wow... I can't even - wow," Toby stammered quietly. Inhaling deeply, he looked at his friend. "Do you think you could help me with the timber?"
Pacificae shook her head slowly.
Toby shrugged. "Ah well," he grumbled. "It's not like you're a beaver, anyway - I guess it wouldn't be one of your abilities to knock down trees."
Pacificae chattered.
"Oh - I hadn't considered dead logs - but they wouldn't be very stable, would they?" Toby asked in reply.
She chittered again, pointing a paw at the corners of the pit.
"Oh!" Toby exclaimed, straightening up a bit. "I see what you mean - yeah, I guess they would make for a good frame - if we could find any that are sturdy enough. Still, sooner or later we're gonna need an axe."
Pacificae chattered in agreement.
Twilight had the most overwhelming week of her life, and needing to deal with an emotionally destroyed Toby was only one of the major concerns on her mind.
First of all, Equestria was under attack from the three most dangerous villains to ever step foot onto their world - and they nearly succeeded with their plans, too. After that, she had been crowned as Equestria's principal princess - not exactly the most relaxing thing in the world, either.
She hadn't been on the throne for two days when Clarity told her the news that finally broke her.
When the lieutenant informed her with a hollow voice that Toby had thrown himself off of Canterlot Falls, that was it for her. She returned to her quarters for the remainder of the day, only allowing passage to her closest friends. Knowing full well she had new responsibilities as the head princess, she resumed court the following morning.
Fortunately, with Hearth's Warming around the corner, it would be understanding of her to take a leave. It took a lot of convincing, but her friends finally managed to talk her into coming out to Ponyville for the holidays to reconvene with her family as well as the older royal sisters. They all agreed that no one should be alone after Toby's death had put a massive damper on the normally-cheerful holiday.
So there Princess Twilight Sparkle sat, on a comfortable seat made of royal silk, on the Equestrian Express leaving Canterlot. She rested her chin on a hoof dejectedly and stared out of the window, watching the receding outline of Canterlot against the evening sky. It was a beautiful sight to behold, but the princess was too wrapped up in her thoughts to enjoy the moment much.
So many regrets - why hadn't they cut straight to the chase when Toby had mysteriously arrived in this world? They could have helped him. Nopony should ever have go through anything like he did - but how could they have known? They were so busy treating him like a bomb about to go off that they didn't see the real issue.
She sniffed, feeling her eyes beginning to sting. Why didn't she do anything? This had to be her fault...
"Twilight?" asked a high-pitched male voice behind her. "What's wrong?"
She turned slightly to see her dragon assistant, Spike, looking at her with a mixture of sadness and concern from the seat next to her. He studied her face for a second, then said, "Is it that human again?"
Something in his tone sent a shiver of anger down Twilight's spine. "His name was Toby, Spike," she growled, making the dragon recoil. "You didn't know - you couldn't know - this is all my fault!!" She broke down into a collection of short sobs.
Spike knew Twilight enough to know that she had seriously cared for Toby - and it broke his heart to see her this way, but even more so at being accused of not caring. This was incredibly false - he remembered feeling hollow when he found out the human had tried to kill himself - kill himself!!
"Twilight... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," the drake replied sadly, looking at his claws. Nothing he could say would cheer Twilight up - and she had every right to be been upset, too. What she needed right then was closure and company.
Twilight seemed to realize her outburst, and looked around at Spike, feeling sick.
"Oh, Spike!" she cried, "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to - mean to -"
Spike hugged the weeping mare, silencing her. He smiled as Twilight relaxed in his grip. When they released, Twilight fixed him with a watery smile.
"All I can say is that I'm here for you," Spike said in a soft tone. "And it's okay - you're upset, and for a genuine reason..."
"I'll be okay, Spike, honest," Twilight chuckled, wiping her eyes. "I just have regrets... I wonder what Toby would say if he knew that he did this to us..."
"SLIPPIN' RIPPIN' DANG FANG, ROTTEN - ZARG BARG-A-DING-DONG!!!!"
Toby hopped up and down, clutching the throbbing foot the dead tree trunk had fallen on. "Ooh, you've got to be - argh! It hurts!!"
Pacificae walked up and nuzzled him apologetically. She chattered softly, giving him a sad look.
"No, no, I don't blame you," Toby grunted. "Seriously - I dropped it on myself. Mistakes happen. Let's go, it's getting dark."
As Toby picked up one end of the log, his furry friend ducked under the other end and hoisted it up in-between her antlers effortlessly. She squeaked happily.
"Alright, c'mon," Toby sighed, and the two slowly trudged off towards the soon-to-be cabin.
When they arrived at the construction site, Toby stopped to catch his breath, admiring how far they had come, especially now with only the moon to give them light. Even with the moon, its light had been dimmed by the myriad ominous storm clouds moving in.
Three of the corners in the pit were now occupied by large, surprising-sturdy trunks similar to the one Toby and Pacificae had just carried. He sighed contentedly.
"Just one more, then," he chuckled. "How are you holding up, buddy?"
Pacificae chirped.
"What!? Don't you ever sleep?"
Pacificae shook her head, then hopped over to the log. She thumped her foot on the ground eagerly.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Toby muttered, getting to his feet with a massive grunt. "Hold up."
He walked over and wrapped his arms around the trunk. He nodded at the jackalope, who jumped into the pit, waiting patiently at the last open corner for Toby to push the trunk in.
Toby threw his back into one massive push, inching the trunk over until the other end tipped into the pit. Pacificae caught it expertly, and set the end neatly into the corner.
Toby held the trunk steadily while Pacificae hopped out of the pit. She braced herself, then hopped nimbly onto the end of the trunk that was high in the air. She stomped down on it several times, driving it a couple feet into the ground.
"OOH! Splinter!!" Toby hissed, shaking his finger. "Aye aye aye, that smarts. Ah well - input and output, eh, Peace?"
Pacificae chattered in reply.
"Atta girl."
The two of them then sat down, looking over their start to a cabin. Toby panted, sucking on his hurt finger. There was a long, contented moment of silence before Toby broke it.
"Well... all we need is an axe," he sighed. "Y'know where to get one, peace?"
Pacificae nodded, and pointed at a gap in the trees that revealed a quaint, bright village in the valley below them.
Toby froze. "What!? How did I not see that? Do you know who lives there?"
Pacificae chittered softly.
"PONIES!!?? " Toby cried. "Nope. Nothing doing, pal."
Irritated, Pacificae chattered at him.
"Oh - a hardware shop?" asked Toby. "I see - on the closest side of town, you say? Well, that's convenient."
Pacificae looked at him pleadingly, and chattered earnestly.
"Okay, okay - we'll go," Toby sighed. "Just don't question me if I keep my distance from any ponies." The two began their journey down the hill in silence, only penetrated with Toby's panting.
"Geez, been a while since I had to do this sort of thing," Toby grunted after stumbling on a large stone obstructing his path. "It's impossible to see."
Pacificae squeaked.
"Do I hate the ponies?" Toby asked, frowning. "To be honest... no. They're kind of freaking cute, honestly. The thing is, whenever I've been around them, bad things happen. Therefore, I avoid them - plus, I wasn't exactly treated fairly during my stay in Canterlot..."
Pacificae chattered in reply.
"What? I know was a prisoner," Toby said dismissively. "I know prisoners are treated differently, but you know what I mean. I've told you all about my adventures in that stupid place."
Pacificae's ears flattened against her head sadly, and she nuzzled Toby's stomach affectionately, all the while making cooing noises.
"Listen - I'm not going to do that to myself," Toby consoled. "Not again, anyway. I just feel too emotionally drained and, for once, it's nice to feel valued."
Pacificae squawked at him.
"What about princess Twilight?" Toby replied indignantly. "So what if she valued me - that was one pony."
The jackalope raised an eyebrow and chittered shrewdly.
"Okay, okay, the ones named Fluttershy and Clarity too," Toby grunted. "You understand my point! Plus, why do you care? You've spent your whole life avoiding ponies!"
Pacificae chattered in what Toby assumed was a deadpan.
"Ah - I see. I forgot - so is that an actual myth, or do ponies actually get good luck if they catch you?" Toby asked. "And if that's the case, what does that mean for me?"
Pacificae's reply made Toby stop dead in his tracks.
"'I chose you'?" Toby asked. "Oh. As in, you wanted to be my friend?"
Pacificae squeaked happily.
"Aw, thanks, peace," Toby said, feeling his cheeks grow warm. "No one's called me a friend in a long time. Same to you! Who needs ponies like Princess Luna when you can hang around someone that genuinely appreciates you?"
Pacificae chattered.
"Huh? 'You may be surprised'? What's THAT supposed to mean??"
Ponyville, fifteen minutes earlier...
"You know, your friends were right, Twilight," Spike huffed as he hauled her heavy luggage up the steps to the front door of her old home - the crystal tree castle in which she used to live with Spike and her student, Starlight Glimmer. The baby dragon rapped on the door before slumping down onto the top step, exhausted.
"I - I guess," Twilight replied in a worrying voice, starting to pace subconsciously. "I just have so many princess duties that I need to -"
"Important ones? No," Spike added. "Relax. Fancy Pants and the others are more than capable of taking care of the parade. Plus, it's tradition for the princesses not to be in it - it's the one parade of the year they can take a break from."
"Yeah, but -" Twilight began, but was cut off by the opening of the front door followed by a squeal.
"Princess Twilight!" cried the mare in the door, leaping out to embrace her mentor.
"Good to see you as well, Starlight," Twilight replied quietly.
When the two let go of one another, Starlight gave her teacher a curious look, then deflated a bit a moment later. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened - really. We're here for you, Twilight, as well as the others who've been destroyed by the - the - you know..."
Twilight nodded tensely. Levitating Spike onto her back, she followed Starlight into the castle, bringing the luggage with her. Closing the door behind her, a small squeal greeted her as a baby alicorn instantly latched onto her face.
Twilight gasped, setting her luggage down. "And how's wittle baby Flurry Heart?? Oh, good! Ooh, you're doing so good, aren't you Flurry? Are you excited to see Auntie Twilight??"
A warm male voice chuckled. "Hello, Twi - do you want me to get your bags to your room?" Flurry was then surrounded with a magenta aura and carried away to the owner of the voice - Twilight's brother, Shining Armor.
"No, I can do that later," Twilight said with a large smile. "How are you doing, BBBFF?"
"I was actually just about to go out to find and cut down a Hearth's Warming tree," he replied. "Princess Luna was going to come - her sister encouraged her to get some fresh air. We don't have an axe, though, so we'll need to stop by that hardware store at the edge of town."
"Oh, so they're already here?" yawned Spike from Twilight's back.
"Yeah," Shining Armor replied, smiling slightly at the sight of the tired drake. "Yeah, she's putting on something warm before we go. Did you want to come, Twilight?"
"Maybe..." Twilight replied. "Where's Cadance?"
"Either in the kitchen with Celestia or in the living room with Celestia," her brother replied thoughtfully. "All I know is that she's with Celestia."
Twilight laughed. "I think I'll go find -"
At that moment, Luna entered the room, but she was very far from the Luna Twilight was used to seeing. Her starry mane was all frizzled, her posture slumped was slumping over, and she looked like she hadn't slept in a while. She walked into the room dejectedly and muttered that she was going to ask where Celestia had put her scarf.
"L-Luna??" Twilight stammered, feeling a bit startled.
The lunar ex-princess looked around at the new voice and seemed to force a smile. "Oh, hello, Twilight," she replied in a very calm tone. "Glad to see you made it here safe." She then trudged her way out of the room.
"Has she always been like that?" Twilight asked, feeling very concerned.
Shining Armor and Starlight sighed collectively.
"She's... been like that the whole time she's been here," Starlight replied nervously. "It's been really weird..."
"Do you know why?" Twilight asked. Starlight shook her head, but Shining Armor nodded.
"It's because of the death of that human, Toby," Shining replied sadly. "Everyone took it badly - when I heard that you needed to take a day off, I had half a mind to go and visit you. But Luna - she definitely took it the worst."
"That's not that hard to believe..." Twilight muttered. "She looked awful."
"You do, too," said another voice that made Twilight's heart jump. She felt herself get pulled into the tight embrace of her sister-in-law, Cadance, and smiled. "We knew you would have been traumatized, since you were the one he opened up to."
Twilight sniffed, then wiped her eyes. "But what about Luna? I thought she hated Toby... or at least, hated him until he tried to hang himself..." She faltered off miserably, feeling herself tear up again.
"Luna... well, this may either make sense to you or confuse you even more," Cadance replied. "You see, I was one of the first ponies she made the effort to talk to at this gathering. She was really confused with her feelings, you see, and wanted me to answer her questions."
"Did it help you find out anything to as why she's affected worse than the rest if us?" Twilight pressed.
Cadance and Shining Armor looked at one another, then back at Twilight.
"Actually, yes," Shining Armor said slowly.
"... And?" Twilight asked.
"Well, it's quite simple, actually," Cadance replied sadly with a slight smile. "Luna was in love."
"With - with TOBY!? " Twilight exclaimed. Cadance nodded. Then the sound of Luna's voice made them all jump.
"Did someone mention Toby?" she asked thickly, as if the very thought made her want to break down into tears. She had just returned with her sister from looking for her scarf.
"Er - I'll explain later," Shining Armor replied awkwardly. "You ready to go, Luna?"
Luna nodded, and followed him past Twilight towards the door. They hadn't made it far before Twilight had made up her mind.
"Wait!!" she hollered. "I'll go with you guys!"
"Why do ponies need so many variants of axes?" Toby asked curiously as the shop keep of Hard Nail's Nails and Hardware wrapped up his order - a simple, small wood-chopping axe.
"It's just what I do - if anypony's interested enough, I sell it to them," the shop keep replied gruffly. His name was Hard Nail, which could have been a funny name, but Toby wasn't one to make fun of people - or ponies, in this case. He was a large, muscly pony with a tan coat and dirt-brown mane. He looked like he could have bench-pressed a small house.
"Ah," Toby replied friendly-like, gazing around the shop. "It's amazing that you can make these all with your hooves."
"Thank you - it's something I enjoy doing," Hard Nail replied, finishing the package. "Now, your name is...?"
"Er - Toby," Toby replied nervously. "Toby O'Leary. Thanks for the axe, by the way."
Hard Nail beamed. "It was no problem at all, fella. I love all woodland creatures, but I never thought I'd see the day I'd get to see a jackalope, much less get friendly with it."
"Ah, well - Pacificae here is really understanding," Toby said with a small smile. "See ya around, man."
Hard Nail bowed them out of the shop. As they left, Toby stopped and turned to Pacificae.
"Hey, thanks for that," he told the jackalope. "I know you don't like letting ponies see you." Pacificae rubbed her head on his leg and made a cooing noise in reply, making Toby smile.
"Aw, thanks, Peace," he chuckled warmly. "Now, whaddya say we go - we go..." He froze as he saw a couple figures approaching, talking to one another. Squinting at them, he recognized two of them at once, sending his stomach into a plummet.
Luna and Twilight, along with some other stallion.
"Go!" Toby hissed, and he made to move into the shadows.
"Did somepony hear something?" asked the stallion.
Toby, lost in the terror of the moment, momentarily forgot where he was going. He collided with a shelf advertising Hard Nail's forged farming equipment, sending everything into a noisy mess. He scrambled to his feet, hoping to make a getaway, but it was too late.
A pair of hooves on his back whipped him around, and he found himself face to face with a very dead-looking Princess Luna.
"T-Toby??" she asked, clearly not believing what she was seeing.
"U-Uh - d-don't kill m-me," Toby squeaked.
He was then being hugged harder then he had ever been hugged before - and by a sobbing Princess Luna, no less.
When will fate finally decide tell him about what the fuck is going on??
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. THUD!
"OW!! PACIFICAE, YOU fffff....." Toby howled, clutching his hand. It had gotten smashed under the log that the jackalope and himself had been carrying. Pacificae had dropped the log a bit too early, when Toby wasn't prepared to take the full weight of his end of the log.
"Toby, is everything alright!?" hollered Applejack, who had been off collecting other sturdy logs with Big Mac. Moments later, she came hurtling around the corner of the house with a nervous look.
She watched as Toby crammed his throbbing hand into the snow to subdue the pain and swelling.
"Hey, are you okay??" Applejack asked, reaching a hoof towards him. As the country mare's hoof barely came in contact with his shoulder, he whirled around.
"Don't touch me!! " he snapped, backing away.
Applejack glared at him. "Now what was that for? Ah didn't do anything ta deserve that!"
Toby had to use all the self control he could muster to bite back an angry and possibly quite offensive retort. He forced himself to his feet and trudged off, muttering something about 'needing some air', leaving a very bewildered Applejack and Pacificae in silence.
"Has - Has he always been like that?" Applejack asked the jackalope. Pacificae shook her head in reply, then scampered off after her friend.
Meanwhile, Toby trudged onward through the forest, trying to keep himself under control.
All these ponies wanna do is help, said the rational voice in his head. Please - give them a chance -
NO - there aren't enough hands in existence to count the amount of times that we've gotten hurt. These ponies are only working to resolve their guilt! said another, angrier voice.
But if they're guilty, they CARE , reasoned the calmer voice. Don't give in!!
Are you INSANE!? The two princesses sentenced me to prison for being different. I was beaten while defenseless by a lesbian pegasus. The only ones who really come through are Twilight and Fluttershy, but even Twilight tries to push us around! As if SHE understands! She wasn't there with us in Vietnam!!
What about the others, then? Twilight's other friends?
I don't even KNOW Applejack! Why did we even consent to trust her!? These ponies are no good!
But Luna loves us...
Don't even get me started on HER, the angry voice snarled. She doesn't love us - it was just an excuse for her behavior!!
You don't know that, the other voice said softly. After all; we don't know her that much. For all we know, she could be absolutely smitten with us.
Oh, please!! Smitten, my -
"Shut up!! Just SHUT UP!!" Toby howled, falling to his knees and clamping his hands over his ears tightly. "Enough already...!"
There were soft footsteps in the snow behind him. Whirling around, he saw that it was only Pacificae. The jackalope eyed him, then sniffed.
"What are you looking at!?" Toby snapped.
Pacificae took a cautious step closer, then cooed.
"No - I don't - go away," Toby snarled, leaping to his feet. "I need to be alone."
Pacificae stayed put. Seeing no point in arguing, he huffed and walked on. The sounds of shifting snow behind him confirmed that he was being followed.
After a long, tense moment, Pacificae chattered.
"Am I okay? AM I OKAY!!?? God, Peace..." Toby came to a halt and buried his face into the nearest tree, shielding his face from view with his hands. "Just look at me... and you ask if I'M FUCKING OKAY!!!" He emphasized the last sentence by striking the tree with his fist. Angry tears streaked down his face.
Pacificae squatted down low to the snow and remained motionless as she watched her best friend stagger away.
"You can't possibly understand Peace - you know nothing, NOTHING!!" Toby cried, irately kicking out at the nearest tree with the bottom of his foot. "You wouldn't know ANYTHING OF IT!! THE THINGS I'VE SEEN! THE PEOPLE I'VE LOST! The things I've done..." he faltered off and slumped onto the tree he had kicked.
Pacificae slowly crept up next to him and put her weight against Toby's leg. Unconsciously, Toby scratched her behind the ears.
"I-I'm lost..." he murmured to himself. "I don't have a purpose here, Peace... at least you're here..."
The two of them remained silent for a long period of time, as Toby stared off towards the sky in a subdued silence. Then Pacificae gave her friend's leg a small nudge, and Toby nodded slowly.
"Yeah... let's go back," he muttered, picking his way back through the forest towards the construction zone.
As they were on their way, Pacificae squeaked nervously. Toby gave her a sideways glare, but said nothing. He was too busy figuring out how he was going to tell Applejack to leave.
Pacificae squeaked again.
"Stop it," he groaned. "You know how I feel about damned ponies. I tried, okay?? A genuine, honest attempt - and I still don't see a reason to like them. Is that good enough for you??"
Pacificae slowly shook her head, but Toby ignored her.
Just tell her to piss off, said the morose side of his conscience. Make yourself clear!!
She's just trying to help, said the rational, noticeably weaker side of his conscience. She and her brother have basically completed your entire wall in HALF A DAY!! There's only one log left to go, remember?
Shut up, you!! You're soft ass has put us through WAY too much crap already! You better lie low - you're not appreciated here.
At least break it to her nicely...
Toby groaned, massaging his temples. He longed to slam his head as hard as he could into a tree repeatedly - anything to get those bickering thoughts to shut up. However, he had to agree with his darker side - he was sick of putzing around with those stupid ponies. All they wanted to do was give him sympathy, and that was the last thing he wanted. No, he just wanted to be left alone.
As he walked into the clearing, he could see Applejack and her brother conversing in low tones. They both looked around at the sound of approaching footsteps, and smiled nervously.
"Er... howdy, Toby," the orange mare greeted him, but her expression quickly fell away upon seeing Toby's face. "Is somethin' botherin' ya?"
A thick balloon of rage swelled up inside of Toby's gut, and he had to muster all of his willpower not to kick something. Instead, he pointed in the direction of Ponyville and deadpanned, "Leave."
"Uh - pardon?" Applejack stammered, taken aback.
"You heard me," Toby snarled. "Don't make me say it again."
Applejack studied his face for a second, then looked over at her brother. "You heard him, Big Mac... Ah know a stubborn case when Ah see one."
"Piss off," Toby growled. "Don't get smart. I've had enough of you ponies."
The siblings left without another word, leaving Toby and Pacificae in a very tense silence. The latter watched Toby as he huffed and turned towards his soon-to-be home.
"C'mon..." he said wearily. "Let's get the last log up there."
As he moved away, Pacificae stayed put. It wasn't until Toby clutched his end of the final log when he noticed that his friend remained still.
"Peace...?" he asked. "A-Are you coming?"
The jackalope stared at him contemplatively for a long moment. Then, without another word, she turned and walked off towards Ponyville, leaving Toby completely alone. He looked down at the log, as if he were deciding if it was really worth the trouble.
"... Okay then..."
Without another word, he hoisted up one end of the log and propped it up on the wall. If he could manage to slide it up on top, he could manage this alone...
In the thick of the busy mid-day hustle in the Ponyville marketplace, a loud, angry voice could have been heard over all the din to anyone who was present at the moment.
"Twi!!" it called in a thick southern accent.
Twilight, who had been shopping for study supplies for Starlight and the School of Friendship, turned as a very angry Applejack approached.
"Er - is something wrong?" Twilight asked, thrown off. It was pretty unusual for Applejack to look this irritated.
"Yeah - about yer human friend," Applejack huffed in reply. "Ya failed to mention that he's a bit of a pill."
"What are you talking about?" Twilight asked, frowning. "Toby is not a pill - he's actually very sweet! What's gotten into you?"
"What's gotten into you , Twilight!?" Applejack retorted indignantly. "Now look here, would Ah lie to you??"
Twilight froze. After a moment, she babbled, "A.J., I -"
"It's alright, sugarcube," Applejack sighed in understanding. "These little misunderstandings can happen all the time."
"Right," Twilight blushed. "Sorry about that, really - but is something wrong with Toby? Did you guys not get along well?"
"Well, we were fine ta begin with," Applejack replied as a slight scowl made its way onto her face. "Then, outta nowhere, he has a tantrum after I tried to help him with his hurt paw -"
"Hand," Twilight corrected. "And what do you mean, his hurt -?"
"Now hold on, sugarcube, Ah haven't finished yet, and it's a long story," Applejack interrupted. "When Toby came back, he looked much worse than he did before marchin' off into the woods. Then he just told Big Mac and myself ta leave, and wouldn't take no for an answer either."
"He's always been stubborn, but that seems a bit too nasty to be Toby," Twilight put in, scrunching her nose. "I'm serious, he was super sweet when he stayed at the castle for the holidays. That doesn't sound like him."
"Or maybe he only respects ya because you're a princess," Applejack suggested with raised eyebrows. "Ah think you've maybe only scratched the surface."
"A.J., are you okay??" Twilight asked. "It's not like you to be quick to judge others like this. Besides - he's met Rarity and Fluttershy, and the two of them sure aren't princesses."
Applejack pawed at the ground in deep thought. "Ah'll admit that Ah don't know him as well as you do, Twi, but believe me when Ah tell you that somethin' was off."
"I do, Applejack," Twilight said with a smile. "Besides - Toby's been struggling with himself for a long time..."
Applejack shuddered, remembering his suicide attempt back in Canterlot. She hadn't even met him when it happened, and yet it still hit her right in the feels. "Ah know what ya mean, sugarcube..."
The mood in the surrounding crowds of ponies seemed to suddenly change. Instead of calmly going about their business, they were staring at a fixed point. Many were gasping and pointing, but most stared with their jaws to the ground.
"What are they...?" Twilight asked, following their gaze. She began to make her way forward, and halted as soon as she realized what had been causing the commotion.
Pacificae was slowly walking through the crowd towards Twilight and Applejack. She did not pay any attention to the amazed masses that surrounded her. She seemed very intent on reaching the two mares whom she already knew.
"Wh-What are you doing here?" Twilight stammered. "Aren't you supposed to be with Toby??"
Pacificae shook her head quickly and thumped her foot impatiently.
"Ya think we should go get Fluttershy for this?" Applejack asked nervously.
"Probably the best decision, since all we can ask are yes and no questions," Twilight murmured in reply. "It looks like she wants to tell us something - and it's nothing you answer with a yes or no question, right?"
Twilight motioned for Pacificae to follow. The jackalope cautiously agreed, hesitating every six steps or so. This pattern continued until they had reached the quaint cottage that belonged to their shy friend.
Twilight wasted no time in rapping on the door. "Fluttershy, it's Applejack and I - we need your help!!"
Soft hoofsteps could be heard from the other side of the door. Moments later, the timid pegasus poked her nose out through the frame, observing her visitors. She then relaxed and stepped out with a smile.
She opened her mouth to speak, but whatever she had in mind died in her throat as soon as she saw Pacificae. Her jaw fell open and her wings flared in surprise.
"Is that a - a -"
"A jackalope, yeah," Applejack beamed. "She belongs to Toby."
Fluttershy looked up at her. "To Toby -? Is he here too?"
"No - he's in the woods, building a home for himself," Twilight replied. "According to A.J., he completely snapped at her, which isn't like him. Moments after she told me that, the jackalope showed up. This has got to mean something important! It clearly wants to tell us something, but we can't understand it, so we came to you."
"M-Me?" Fluttershy whimpered. "I-I can try, if it's not too much on the little guy."
Pacificae gave an angry chirp, making Fluttershy jump.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were a female - I've just never seen a jackalope before..."
Pacificae sat on her rump and began chattering at the intrigued pegasus, who's ears slowly flattened as she listened. After a long moment, the jackalope stopped her monologue, leaving Fluttershy in an overwhelmed silence.
"I - this is a bit much," Fluttershy muttered. "I don't know if I can -"
Pacificae interrupted her by touching the tips of her antlers to Fluttershy's barrel. A pleasant, warm feeling expanded in her chest, as if Pacificae had given her a sudden swing of confidence.
"What just happened?" Applejack asked blankly. "None of that made any sense."
"I'm just as confused as you are," Twilight agreed. "Fluttershy, what did Pacificae tell you?"
Fluttershy turned towards the purple alicorn and frowned. "She doesn't really know what's wrong with him, but he's been acting very strange lately. Like he's not right in the head."
"Ugh - that could have been answered with a 'yes-or-no' question!!" Twilight grunted impatiently.
Pacificae shook her head frantically and squeaked.
"She says that it's worse than that - it's as if Toby's falling apart, according to her," translated Fluttershy, who looked like she was about to have a panic attack. "He needs help, but he wants nothing to do with ponies..."
The three of them all stood together in silence, contemplating the possibilities.
"I'll go talk to Celestia and Luna," Twilight offered after a long moment. "They're going to be staying here in Ponyville while planning out the leisurely part of their retirement. I have to leave for Canterlot tomorrow, but I'll try and talk to him. I know he'll listen to me."
The other two nodded in agreement.
Toby staggered up the hill to his home, carrying as many plywood boards as he could carry from the hardware store to his home. With his nails, he managed to build a frame for the roof. All he needed was to build the structure and tile the surface.
Of course, he would be doing none of this in good spirits. He could definitely manage to finish the roof before things got dark, but he would have to do it alone. Pacificae seemed to have finally give him up as a lost cause. The way she had just left without a word...
The scene played over and over in his head. No matter how much he tried to put it from his mind, it replayed over and over in a maddening cycle, making him even more miserable as the seconds rolled by. His only friend - gone. Just like that.
As he reached the top of the hill, he hauled the boards over to the side of the house. He propped them up against the nearest wall, and wiped the sweat from his brow
Before he knew what he was doing, he fell to the ground and began hammering it with his fist, clenching his teeth.
It seemed like only bad things would happen to him - fine! If fate wanted to play games with him, he would ignore it completely. He was forsaken, lost, worthless, and worst of all, a monster - those stupid ponies would never understand, NEVER!!
And now... he was alone. Looking up at his home through a blur of tears, he vowed to never speak a word to anything ever again - unless he had no choice.
Fluttershy was falling.
She didn't know how, or when, or even where ; all she knew was that she was plummeting to an inconceivable fate at unknown speeds. The rocky cliff face to her left was passing in a large blur - how had this happened?
Her veins were filled with liquid fear, inhibiting her from thinking or moving. All she could do was watch the distant, violent waves of the sea below her as they moved to greet her. "It was over, there was nothing she could do, she was paralyzed with fear -
Suddenly, her downward progress came to a steady halt as she was enveloped in a blue aura. She whipped her head around, looking for even just a glimpse of her savior.
There was a large flash of blinding, warm light, and Princess Luna appeared several feet away, hovering next to the distraught pegasus.
"Do not worry, dear Fluttershy," she said in her familiar serene voice. "No harm will come to you."
Fluttershy instantly relaxed as a wave of relief washed her fears away. This was merely a dream. She looked to the lunar mare and said in a shy, grateful tone, "Thanks so much, princess..."
Luna nodded, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. Her horn lit up, and in another flash of light they were standing on solid ground at the edge of the cliff. A quaint little cottage sat approximately fifty yards from the drop, nestled into a small group of trees.
Luna peered over the side of the cliff with a curious expression. "Do you know this place?" she asked with faint interest.
"Y-Yes... this was where my aunt lived," Fluttershy whispered shyly. "I've always been scared of the cliff..."
A silence followed this that was only interrupted by the faint crashing of waves far below. The two mares gazed peacefully at the horizon.
"Such beauty for a dream," Luna finally sighed. "Alas, I must take my leave. Sleep well, dear Fluttershy."
Fluttershy returned this with a sweet smile as Luna disappeared back into the dreamscape.
It had been a rather peaceful night as far as nightmares go - giving Luna time to look. She did not know if he would be here, or if he was even sleeping - for his well being, she hoped so - but what would a dream of his look like?
She could tell from the very first day that Tobias O'Leary was a tortured soul - she saw a bit of herself in his eyes. However, the way she had reacted to his presence... she sincerely regretted every moment of it. What was she thinking?
Not only that, but her conversation with him on Hearth's Warming Eve? Tactless. No words to describe it - but was that how she really felt? Over the hundreds of years she had lived, she had never felt attraction to another pony. Maybe that was partly because she was a royal, but... she had no idea how love worked. Was it some unstoppable, unpreventable force that enveloped somepony in its crushing grip, sealing their fate?
Cadance was often referred to as the Princess of Love, but not this kind of love - she was the princess of the kind of love that one would find in families and acceptance, not the kind that involved joining of two.
So why was she so determined to reach Toby? Did she truly love him, or were these empty words to explain her unknowns? What did she feel when she saw him for the first time?
Maybe a trip into her memories could serve an answer...
She closed her eyes and lit up her horn. A warm, bright flash of light later, she was standing in the throne room on the day of Toby's arrival - her own memory.
At the moment, it was only her past self that populated the room - but knowing what would happen, Luna turned to watch the throne room door. Moments after she had done this, it was thrown open, admitting her sister. Following close behind her were Toby and a guard. The latter was giving the poor human sharp jabs from his spear to keep him moving forward.
She watched curiously then as Celestia began to attempt to communicate with Toby - she had almost forgotten about that! The human could not speak nor understand modern Equestrian until...
POP!
... Celestia performed her 'Linguistic Bridge' spell. Sweet heavens, it looked painful.
As the interrogation commenced (after Toby had awoken from his brief unconscious moment), Luna stole glances at her past self, who looked alarmingly cold. Finally, it was all too much as her past self lost it.
"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK IN SUCH WAYS TOWARDS YOUR SUPERIORS!! GUARDS!! " past-Luna roared, going slightly pink in the face.
With a small crackle of energy from her horn, Luna froze the scene and approached her past self. It was very hard for her to look herself in the eye, especially when it showed so much... hatred .
"Now why would I hate somepony like this, yet warm to him as soon as he harms himself?" she murmured to herself. "Why am I so weird?"
Why was she so weird indeed - it took a lot more for her to process things than it did for normal ponies - after all, lots of things happened to her during her time as a princess that took lots of thinking and, occasionally, a bit of counsel from her sister. Like when she became Nightmare Moon...
She froze. Nightmare Moon...
She faced her past self's loathing expression once more, and her own softened. Becoming an entity of hate, jealousy, spite, and anger was something Luna still regretted - and probably would for the rest of her life. So when she learned that this new alien had a violent past, had she seen a bit of herself in Toby? Or, at least, something about him that reminded her of her dark past?
She studied the eyes of her past self for a little longer, trying to catch a glimpse of anything else besides the anger and blind loathing. For several, fruitless minutes, she saw nothing.
But then - there it was.
A small speck in the corner of her flickered with fear - and now it made a little more sense. Perhaps she had been afraid of Toby's assumed destructive power? No - it was more likely the quick, irrational hatred of the poor thing that was a thing Luna thought she had put completely behind her. Maybe a couple more nights with the Tantabus would help?
As soon as that last thought entered her head, the lunar princess shook her head violently to rid herself of the thought. No, that would be stupid - had she not learned her lesson from the first time she had used the Tantabus?
Her horn lit up, and the sound of her magical aura echoed off of the walls of the silent room spontaneously like a chorus of soft chimes. She then exited the scene in a flash of light, finding herself back on the dreamscape. Now all she had to do was find Toby's dream pod...
She knew it would be here somewhere - every single sapient creature in the entire world was unconsciously connected to the dreamscape, whether they have magical capabilities or not. So Toby would definitely be here - although she was unsure of where to find him. She could always sense a nightmare, and could arrive in no time to put a stop to it. At the moment, she couldn't sense anything - but she had to be on her guard. For now, she would walk along. Perhaps towards the outskirts of the dreamscape? Lonely souls' dreams tended to reside where there was less company.
Luna searched as hard as she could, while keeping a wary eye out for any other nightmares - despite her ambition to locate the human here, she still had a huge responsibility. Fortunately, nightmare activity seemed fairly low that night. If it wasn't detectable, then it wasn't one that could drastically hurt somepony. If somepony needed her help, she would know in an instant.
After what seemed like an hour of looking, Luna settled down and observed the dream pods that floated by. It was so peaceful here; perhaps Toby was having a pleasant dream.
Just the thought of that brought a smile to Luna's lips. The poor thing could use a break.
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw something - she had almost missed it entirely, since it had blended so well with its dark surroundings.
A pitch-black orb was hovering in the shadows, almost out of her range of sight. Any dream orb that came close to ten feet from it made a wide berth, probably to avoid it. Luna stood to her hooves and lit up her horn, prepared to fight. However, she hesitated - she hadn't seen anything like this before, not in her thousand-plus years of doing this. Was it a dream orb?
... And if it was, was it - Toby's?
She cautiously approached the orb, eyeing it. It was giving off a low, disheartening hum that throbbed like an unhealthy heartbeat. As she moved forward, it began to retreat slowly in a reclusive manner. Whatever this was, Luna was determined to get to the bottom of it.
She took another couple of steps forward, and the orb retreated more. However, she noticed that the orb couldn't move very quickly, like all of the others in the dreamscape, and she had no trouble catching up to it.
As soon as she was within three feet of the black orb, it stopped and remained in one place, omitting its depressing pulse. For what felt like the longest time Luna stayed put, simply observing the orb. It did nothing, as if waiting for something.
Luna closed her eyes. It showed as much behavioral activity as a dream pod, and hasn't done anything to harm any of the others, like a Tantabus - which meant that it was almost definitely a dream pod.
Tentatively, she reached out a hoof towards the orb - if it really was an orb, it would respond to her touch.
Her hoof made contact, and the orb shook slightly, as if her touch had unsettled it. The surface was rock-hard, as if it didn't want anypony to see what was inside. This was definitely a dream orb - but why was it this way? Was it indeed Toby's orb? Could this have a deeper meaning?
She recalled the day she had discovered the extremities of Toby's depression - and what he was suffering from was definitely darker than anypony had anticipated, probably even Fluttershy...
Her mind was made up in that moment - she would try and enter.
She lit up her horn and prepared to enter the dream orb. Her horn flashed, and she felt the familiar sensation of being sucked though a tiny funnel as she braced herself to completely submerge.
Suddenly, she felt her body flatten painfully against an unknown force, as if she had slammed headlong into a brick wall. It seemed she had actually hit a wall of some sort - whatever this unknown force was, it was extremely strong.
And extremely black.
There was still a major problem, however. The magical force that had always been responsible for pulling her into ponies' dream orbs still had a vice-like grip upon her, and was desperately trying to pull her into the orb. However, the massive force of blackness in front of her wasn't having any of it, causing her to get compressed in an extremely painful manner.
She couldn't breath; both the magic and the unknown barrier were too strong, and if she did nothing soon the pressure being exerted onto her would crush her into a pulp. Mustering everything she had left, she let off an extremely powerful wave of energy that blasted a small hole in the barrier.
The magical force pulled her through, and in a flash of white light, she was standing upright again.
She had entered the orb - and was now in the middle of a jungle. Before she knew what was happening, loud cracks and bangs filled the air, soon joined by a chorus screaming and shouting.
Night time in Vietnam was so much more bearable when you were in a tent - not that you lost your overwhelming sense of anxiety, but it was better than spending it out on those night watches.
The only problem was that one couldn't see anything that was going on on the outside of the tent - they had to put every inch of their trust into those who were out on night watch to allow themselves to sleep.
Toby lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling of his bunk. How were his parents faring? He hadn't received a letter from them in a little over a week. Were they okay? Had anything good or bad happened back home since they had sent the letter?
And Marietta - was she thinking of him? Beyond a doubt she wanted him to come home - she HAD made him promise to make it back in one piece, and that was the very thing he intended to do... anything for his doll...
Suddenly, a myriad of gunshots echoed through the forest outside, making everyone in the barrack jump out of their skin as the very thing that gave them anxiety was actually happening.
"AMBUSH!!!" cried a voice from outside, followed by another chorus of gunfire.
"EVERYONE OUT OF BED!!!" bellowed an older man, no younger than forty-five, as gunshots rang through the air. "GRAB YOUR WEAPONS!! NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!! Hey - I said to MOVE it, you two!! If you don't move your ass the last thing you'll ever get to do is sit there like a PUTZ!!"
The mobile barracks that belonged to his platoon were in complete chaos. Everywhere fellow soldiers were scrambling out of bed, reaching for their helmets and weapons, shouting at one another, trying to throw on their clothes as quickly as possible - it was a mass panic.
The canvas five feet to the left of Toby's bed frame was suddenly torn to shreds as someone opened fire on it from the other side. Half a dozen men bellowed in agony as they were peppered by the attack, some of them dead before they hit the ground.
Toby reached for his gun and instinctively aimed it in the direction of the mauled canvas, still in his bed clothes. A young Vietnamese man emerged through the hole brandishing a semi-automatic. Before he knew what he was doing, Toby opened fire on him.
"TOBIAS, GET OUT OF BED!!!" bellowed the older man, whose name was Magnus Collier - his platoon leader. He was a war-hardened man - he had been in 'Nam five months longer than Toby had.
Toby, who was indeed still in bed when he had killed the man, leapt to his feet and fumbled with the buttons on his rucksack. If he was going to fight, he was gonna do it with pants on.
The air was filled with the shrieking as the far corner of the tent erupted into flames.
"We've got contact from the east!!" shrieked the voice of one of the platoon's scouts from an unknown location outside the tent. "We're being flanked!"
"Cannigan!! Bruehller!! O'Leary!! McGlaggen!! Go and intercept!!" bellowed Magnus as he snatched up his rifle. He then pelted out the far side of the tent to join the fight.
"You heard the Corporal!!" cried Cannon Bruehller, a short man with fiery ginger hair. He pushed his way out through the hole in the tent, followed by Marcus Cannigan, a reedy kid in his very late teens. As Toby yanked on his trousers, Carter McGlaggen, his best friend of all time, appeared at his side.
"Hurry up, Tobes! We can't let them take all the good ones," his buddy joked, but even Toby could sense the terror and anxiety coming off of him.
"Shut up, ya putz," Toby retorted, and the two charged out.
Not the brightest idea when considering that the hostile forest outside their tent was pitch black and chalk full of enemies.
"HIT THE DECK!!" bellowed the voice of Bruehller as the faint sound of a grenade clip being pulled out sounded off to his right. Toby did so without hesitation as the unseen forces in the woods opened fire. A sharp grunt came off to his left, followed by the sound of a body hitting the damp forest floor.
"GRENADE'S OUT!!" Bruehller shrieked.
BANG!!
There were now shouts coming from the woods as the opposing sides fired upon the other simultaneously - the air was buzzing with gunfire and reeked of death and hatred.
"Toby, you gonna help??" cried Carter's voice from the ground a couple of yards away.
Toby grit his teeth. "COVERING FIRE!!" he hollered, blindly firing into the darkness in front of him.
"Good call, Toby!" cried Bruehller, and Toby could hear his fading footsteps as he engaged further.
"How many are there??" Carter cried out in the direction Bruehller had gone.
"Seriously!?" said his voice from a considerable distance. "You expect me to see in this shit?? GRENADE!!"
Toby and Carter waited until the bomb had gone off, then followed the sounds of their friends voice at a dead sprint. He was pressed up against a tree, and footsteps could be heard in the darkness not far beyond. Toby aimed his weapon towards the source and let off a quarter of a round. There was a short holler in a Vietnamese accent, then silence.
"There can't be many of them!! The gunshots are too few and far between!!" Carter called over the gunfire.
"What are y'all doing here!?" Bruehller cried, finally noticing the presence of the other two. "This is MY tree!! Are you TRYING to give them a chance to kill three birds with one stone!!??"
Toby flushed sheepishly. Trying to rectify the problem, he turned to find his own tree.
Now, Toby wasn't a stupid man - but he was never one to make excellent decisions under the effects of extreme pressure - in this case, in the middle of an ambush. Unfortunately, the path he decided to take put him directly in harm's way.
He had barely made it ten feet before his right leg burst into a pain he had never known as a couple bullets from an unseen enemy were driven deep into his thigh. He roared in agony and hit the ground. Gritting his teeth, he closed the rest of the gap between him and the tree at a crawl, moving as fast as he could.
"Toby!! Are you good!?" hollered the voice of Carter in the distance.
"No!!" Toby gasped, and rested his back up against the tree.
It was very fortunate for the American platoon that the Vietnamese ambush had been very poorly planned. While they had the upper hand with their familiarity of the geography, the Americans simply had too many numbers for the ambush to succeed.
Quick footsteps approached Toby's location, and Carter's pale face loomed above him in the dim light that washed out from their mangled tent.
"Hey, dude, take it easy," Carter said smoothly, clutching Toby's shoulder. "You need to get looked at - where did you get hit?"
"L-Leg," Toby hissed.
"Okay - I'm gonna have to take your word for it, because I can see next to nothing out here," his friend replied. Squatting down, Carter managed to hoist Toby up, who yelped as a horrible electric pain shot up his thigh. Noticing this, Carter added, "Simmer down, I'll get you to the medic."
Despite his friend's calm tone, the expression on his face was definitely anything but. It was pale as death, and his eyes kept flickering nervously towards Toby's legs. Toby didn't blame him; after all, it isn't every day when your best friend gets shot in close proximity to yourself.
As Carter struggled to carry his heavy friend, Toby noticed a body that lay in the warm light from the tent - and it was wearing a familiar army-green jacket, similar to his own.
"Carter - who is that?" he grunted, but as they drew closer, he could see for himself.
It was Marcus Cannigan. He lay there motionless, staring up the black upper canopies of the forest with a frozen expression. The flickering light from the tent was reflected in his glassy, lifeless eyes...
"NO!!" bellowed Toby, who instantly began to weakly struggle in Carter's arms. "He's nineteen! Marcus! MARCUS!!!"
Carter gulped. "Quiet, you've lost a lot of blood - it's soaking my arm... Toby, stop, there's nothing you can do for him..."
Suddenly, everything faded to darkness around him. The pain in his injured leg left him, along with his wounds. He looked around wildly - where was he? He was standing in almost complete darkness; the only thing that broke it was the stream of light that streamed down on him from an unknown source.
"C-Carter??" he called out in a shaky voice. Nothing.
"It was only a dream, Toby," said the serene female voice that was maddeningly recognizable. He turned to see Princess Luna standing there, regarding him with a very nervous look.
Toby felt his face automatically fall into the deepest scowl he had ever made. "You," he growled in a rasping, broken voice that didn't sound like his own.
"Toby..." the lunar princess pleaded, but Toby clenched his teeth so hard a tooth split.
"YOU TORTURED ME!!!" he screamed. "YOU TORTURED ME AND ENJOYED IT!!!"
"Toby, listen to me, please -"
"NO - YOU LISTEN TO ME!! I SPENT TWO WEEKS IN A FUCKING CELL BECAUSE OF YOUR SO-BELOVEDPROTOCOL - AND YOU TREATED ME LIKE A PIG!!! A PIG!!! And now you have the AUDACITY to come PRANCING into my unconscious mind and ACT LIKE YOU'RE MY SAVIOR!! I DON'T NEED YOU! I HATE YOU!! I HATE EVERYTHING!! EVERYONE!! YOUR SISTER! TWILIGHT! THAT GAY PRICK, RAINBOW DASH!!"
"Toby, stop," Luna pleaded once more. Tears were pouring down her face now.
"Stop? Stop!? I've had enough!! I did all I could to keep myself from hating you all, but then you THROW IT ALL BACK IN MY FACE!!! HOW COULD YOU!? IF ANY OF YOU CARED, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN QUICK TO HELP INSTEAD OF IMPRISONING ME!!!"
Luna looked to the ground. "Please, you were having a bad dream..."
"GRAAAAAAH!!!" Toby bellowed, grabbing a stone that materialized out of thin air. He hurled it with all of his might at Luna, who let it hit her in the side. As much as it hurt, part of her felt like she deserved it.
"That was real!! ALL REAL!!! PEOPLE I KNEW! THINGS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!! AND YOU JUST WRITE IT OFF AS A DREAM, LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I WAS VIOLENT!? BECAUSE OF A FUCKIN' WAR I NEVER WANTED TO BE A PART OF!!!"
"Toby... I'm sorry..."
"Are you!? Then WHY was I treated like bilge!? All you said at that castle after apologizing to me during the holidays was that you loved me - AND YOU'RE JUST FULL - OF - FUCKING - LIIIIES!!!!" Toby howled, falling to his knees. He punctuated every word by striking the ground.
Luna stood there, looking stunned. Finally, she replied, "I - I don't know what was going on during the holidays - honest , Toby. I don't think I love you - I was just - just trying to -to -"
"Create a justification in your head to as why you treated me like filth?" Toby snarled.
"Yes!" Luna said desperately.
Toby turned away and balled up his fist. He then whirled around and screamed, "WHO FUCKING DOES THAT!? I DON'T CARE THAT YOU ALL ARE GUILTY!! YOU SHOULD BE!! BUT IF YOU TRULY LOVED SOMEONE, PRINCESS, YOU DON'T SEGREGATE THEM!!!"
"The reason I treated you the way I did was because I saw some of myself in you - some of my darker past..." Luna said quietly.
"Your dark past!! " Toby scoffed. "As if!! What dark things could lie behind the mask of someone who is essentially a unicorn with wings??"
"If you do not believe me, then fine!! " Luna sobbed, clenching her eyes. "I don't think you'd understand the heartbreak of a broken family!!"
She reopened them and looked at Toby. As soon as she saw his expression, she knew instantly she had made a mistake.
"I think you'd do better to avoid making assumptions like that..." Toby said in a quiet, hollow, voice. His tone was shaking with rage and his fists repeatedly fidgeted. There was a glint in his eye that Luna had never seen before - it was a mad, forsaken look.
Around them, angry male voices suddenly boomed out of the darkness. The atmosphere around them flashed, giving Luna glimpses of an older human that had many facial complexions that matched Toby's; each of them were distorted with bitterness, regret, rage, and coldness.
"He is no son of mine!!"
"You ask why I'm so angry, Toby?? Can anything penetrate that stupid, thick skull of yours? You are a DISGRACE to this country!! Now, are you through with the stupid questions, or are you gonna torture me with your presence a little more??"
"Can't you do anything right, kid!?"
"I've raised a selfish, lazy, SNOWFLAKE!!"
"Oh for PETE'S sake, STOP CRYING!!! You're such a CHILD!!"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED IN VIETNAM!!!!! AT LEAST YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN OF WORTH TO YOUR COUNTRY!!"
As the harsh voices repeatedly lashed out, Toby crumpled, covering his ears desperately with his hands. Tears were coming out in torrents as he rolled into a fetal position.
"ENOUGH!!" Luna bellowed, flaring out her wings and letting off a massive magical shockwave, instantly blowing away the loud, hateful, wretched face of the man from the air around them. Once again, the two of them were in the lonely darkness. Despite the sudden absence of the human voice that tortured him, Toby remained on the floor, clutching at his head. His body was no longer in a childish position; it was now deadly limp.
Luna galloped to the place where he lay and knelt down, barely reigning in her own emotions. "Toby, speak to me... Toby, please!!"
"I've got nothing..." the human muttered with a glassy, emotionless look in his eye. "Let me die... let it end, please..."
"No - fight it, Toby," Luna sobbed. "You're so incredibly strong, you've lasted for so long... please, if you won't talk to anypony else, talk to me!! I want to help!!"
"There's nothing to fight," Toby said monotonously. "It's no use... I'l just get hurt again... ponies don't care..."
Luna lit up her horn and brought his limp body to her chest and embraced it. "Then I'll hold you here until you understand how untrue that can be... Toby, nopony can possibly understand what you've been through, not even those who dwell in the deepest pits of Tartarus... but when you call, I will be there."
She began to release him from her gentle grip, but his arms shot out and held her. He let out a sharp gasp.
"NO!!!" he yelped in a raspy voice. "Don't leave... I don't want to be alone..."
Luna couldn't stop the large, watery smile that made its way onto her face. She went back to holding the broken man, rubbing the top of his head with a hoof consolingly.
"Fear not, dear Toby... I am not going anywhere."
When Toby woke up, his mind exploded.
Figuratively.
He was laying something soft within the walls of his in-progress home, except... there was a roof above his head.
He frowned and sat up, instantly noticing the comforter that fell to his waist as he did so. He yelped, and scrambled to his feet.
When had he ever bought himself a queen-sized bed? The roof was certainly far from done when he had fallen asleep...
Looking around the room, he noticed that there were now quaint little four-paned windows placed at cozy intervals. He certainly hadn't even carved the holes for the windows in his walls, much less considered it. Where there was once a door-shaped gap stood a beautiful spruce door with a ovular window of ornate glass in the center, along with a pretty brass doorknob.
Someone had clearly come and done some work while he was asleep - but how?? How could they have managed to do all of this in one night? Not only that, but how could he have slept through that?
He wrapped the coat Rarity had made for him tighter to his body. The mare had seemed super apprehensive about helping him, but since Twilight considered him a friend the seemingly pampered mare did so anyway. Not that he cared; the more ponies who stayed away, the better.
Still... who could have done this? This had to have been really expensive! His eyes scanned the room once more, looking for something that could give him an answer, anything - but it was empty. Sighing and rubbing his temples, he walked over to the front door. A key was in the lock, which Toby carefully placed in his pocket. He then pulled the door open and stepped outside.
He forgot about the lack of a front porch, and remembered this the hard way.
Picking his face out of the dirt, he scowled at the foot-tall gap between the bottom of the front door and the ground. Well, that would have been nice to know. Ponies.
Getting to his feet, he noticed a basket sitting at the edge of the clearing, its contents hidden from view by a plaid picnic blanket. A small note rested on top.
Toby closed the distance and snatched up the note. He paused to read, a contemplative frown forming on his face as he did so.
Thought you may want to start the day with something to eat. I know you don't want charity, but sometimes the wisdom of accepting help from others completely outweighs the foolishness of roughing it alone.
Inside you'll also find some bits to finish your home. I hope you enjoy what we have managed to do overnight. May your day be fruitful!
~ 🌙
P.S. - I hope you'll forgive us for the lack of a front walk - there wasn't enough time. :(
Toby huffed in slight annoyance. Was it because he knew Luna was right? He didn't hate her anymore, but that didn't mean he forgave her in the slightest. She treated him like dirt, and then tried to blow it off by blaming it on false feelings for him?
That was low, man. Low. Besides - what were 'bits'?
She was sorry, however, and it never sat well with Toby to hold a grudge against someone who was genuinely trying to apologize to him. This came as a blessing and a burden - even though he wanted to be angry - he was more than justified to feel that way, after all - he couldn't stop thinking about the night prior.
"Fear not, dear Toby... I am not going anywhere."
Did that mean he was going to be pestered by the lunar mare until he was 'better'? Was she going to keep trying to help him, even if he didn't want it?
"I don't need help," Toby tried to say in a strong voice, to no one in particular. "I'm lost, but I'm fine. " Despite his efforts, his tone was weak, reedy, and full of doubt.
Was that really true? That conversation in his dreams... was that even real? He remembered being able to genuinely feel Luna when she freed him of that nightmarish memory. Jeez, why did it have to be Marcus...
Toby squatted low and stuffed a fist in his mouth as a wave of misery engulfed him. Nothing, nothing could make him forget the sight of those lifeless eyes, searching for his own lost soul as it wandered to the heavens. Why, it had been only a couple hours before that when Toby had been in merry conversation with him, along with Carter, about the wonderful blessings and follies they had as children. There were many moments when they broke out into raucous laughter, slapping one another on the back to congratulate them on the joke they had just made.
Marcus had no idea he would never go home... never see his family ever again...
Of course, Toby would rather have died in 'Nam if he had known what lay in store for him back home should he leave in the cowardly way - which he had, shooting himself in the foot. What was his purpose here, anyway, in this alien world of sapient horses?
He felt a ball of emotion well up in his chest. A hazy vision of a beautiful pair of large, cyan eyes swam into view for a brief moment. He shook his head quickly to rid himself of the random image. He wondered if it meant anything.
Sighing, he moved the blanket in the basket to the side, revealing a dozen rolls, still warm, an apple, ingredients to make himself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and the tools to help him do so. Under all of this was an apple pie, and under that...
A large amount of gold coins resided at the bottom of the basket. Sick.
Upon seeing the pie, however, he made no comment, knowing who it was from. Still, a frown made its way onto his face. He accepted the gifts, however, and made his way back inside, taking care to step up into his house. Building a deck would be the first thing on his list of to-dos; he would later carve a hole in the side of the house to make room for a stone fireplace.
He placed the basket on top of his new bed, figuring he'd eat later - although he made a point of. Turning back, he returned to the outdoors and collected his bag of nails and hammer. Sighing, he set off down the hill for the hardware place to get some lumber. He was sick of cutting it himself, and he had money now.
It was going to be another long day... would Luna appear in his dreams again when he fell asleep, or was that just a strange coincidence? It all seemed so real and yet - if any of it was fake, he would never ever trust anything again, never.
Fluttershy galloped down the street towards the Ponyville market, trying to catch a glimpse of Luna. Fortunately for her, Luna was easy to spot, being taller than most - she was scrutinizing the options that a homely fruit stand beheld.
"Princess!!" Fluttershy gasped, as she was not too accustomed to running such distances.
Luna looked around frantically; however, when her eyes found Fluttershy she relaxed. "Dear Fluttershy, remember that I am no longer a princess - Princess Twilight left for Canterlot only yesterday, did she not?"
The breathless pegasus witnessed an excited group of ponies taking a selfie behind Luna, but chose not to bring that up. "O-Okay... sorry..."
"Do not apologize," Luna consoled her. "It is understandable - although, may I ask why you have come in such a manner? It's not like you to - well..."
"- Run, yes," Fluttershy finished. "I'm sorry - it's just - one of the woodland squirrels told me that Toby took the basket!!"
Luna perked up. "He did? What was his reaction?"
Fluttershy gave her a strange look. "Uh... I-I don't know, the squirrel didn't say..."
Realizing the strangeness of the question she had just asked, Luna quickly added, "Er - what I meant was, 'did he look happy?'"
Fluttershy nodded, then looked down at her saddlebag, which she had taken from home. "I should get going, your highness -"
"Luna," Luna interrupted. "Just Luna is fine."
"R-Right - goodbye, Luna," Fluttershy corrected with a nervous smile.
Luna beamed down at her. "Farewell, Fluttershy. I hope your shopping goes well."
As soon as the butter-colored pegasus trotted off, Luna looked down at the selection of fruits before her. If she was going to enter Toby's dreamscape again, she would need as much energy as she could muster.
As Fluttershy arrived at her home, her mind was on Toby. She knew he was a poor, troubled soul after she had seen a reflection of his past in his eyes... not many pegasi had this ability, and it had federal restrictions, but it was very unique - not quite mind reading, but could still be invasive.
She was planning on giving Toby a visit, but after hearing about his outbursts... she figured then it would be best to leave him to his own devices - she wasn't good with handling that sort of thing. She was good with animals, not personalities.
As she pushed open her front door, a sharp chirp that said HEY! sounded off to her right. She looked around, expecting to see a large bird or something of that sort, but gave a start as soon as she recognized the culprit.
"Pacificae?? " she said in disbelief. "Why aren't you with Toby??"
Because he's hurt, Pacificae replied. He's mad at something, and I need someone to help him.
"If he's suffering, why did you leave?" Fluttershy asked, taking off her saddlebag. "You're his friend - doesn't he need you around?"
Pacificae fixed the pegasus with a stare. He yelled at me. He needs help, and I'm trying to find some.
"I don't know much about that sort of thing - besides, Luna said that he doesn't want anything to do with ponies..." Fluttershy replied sadly. "I don't think it was a good idea to leave him."
But he needs help! Pacificae chattered in protest.
"It's not about finding help for him - it's about being a friend," Fluttershy replied, now fixing the jackalope with a stern look. "I don't believe you abandoned him on purpose, but what how him? Did you ever consider how he might feel? Did you tell him why you left, at least?"
Pacificae froze, then shook her head. She then scampered off towards the Whitetail Woods, leaving Fluttershy on her own doorstep in silence.
"Oh dear... I don't think this is gonna end well," Fluttershy whispered, and gave chase.
Applejack watched with a satisfaction as the apples from the tree she had just bucked fell neatly into the baskets below. She was really fine tuning her accuracy.
She paused to wipe a couple beads of sweat off her muzzle. It was nearly dusk, and she and Big Mac had managed to overachieve their desired quota for that day - no mere feat. They had worked fast and diligently, taking ten-minute breaks for meals, and had accomplished harvesting roughly a third of the entire orchard.
In one day. Not bad for two ponies.
"Alright, Big Mac! Ah think we're fine ta call it a day," she called happily. "Let's get these over to the barn, load 'em up, and call it then."
"Eeyup," her brother agreed, hoisting a couple baskets of apples into a cart that stood waiting on the orchard path.
The process of loading them up and bringing them back to the barn only took ten minutes - fortunately for Applejack, that meant she would have time to stretch out her muscles, eat a snack, and relax before bed.
Unfortunately, that would not be the case that night.
"APPLEJACK!!" screamed a raspy voice as the country mare was locking up the barn door. A prismatic stream of color came to a screechy halt in front of her.
"Rainbow Dash!! Is somethin' wrong, sugarcube?" Applejack asked the cyan pegasus in a mild shock.
Rainbow's eyes flashed around nervously before meeting Applejack's. "Is it true? Is he really in town?"
"What are ya blabbin' about?" Applejack pressed, raising an eyebrow. "Who are ya talkin' about??"
Rainbow gulped. "Toby... is he here in town??"
It dawned on the country mare in that moment, and her eyes widened. "Oh - that... er, yeah, he is..."
Rainbow's body went rigid as soon as her fear was confirmed, and she began to pace back in forth in a state of panic. "Ohmanohmanohmanohman - he's gonna kill me!!!"
"Simmer down there, sugarcube," Applejack said in a firm, calming tone. She placed a hoof on Rainbows back just above the tail and pushed, forcing her to sit down. "No one's gonna hurt ya; Celestia and Luna may be off duty now, but they won't let him do anything to ya."
"But he's going to come looking!!" Rainbow squeaked, fidgeting. "He's gonna tear my wings off, then use my tail as a -"
"Oh fer Pete's sake , Rainbow Dash!!" Applejack scoffed, shoving a hoof in her friend's mouth to keep her from her terrified monologue. "Toby wants nothin' ta do with us ponies - if ya don't engage him, ya should be fine. Besides, we all make mistakes - some worse than others, but still..."
Rainbow let off a deep shudder as she recalled her interrogation of the poor human. "A.J., it was overkill!! I was out of my mind, I don't know what hap-"
"Again, Rainbow, simmer down!!" Applejack interrupted sternly. "Ah'm not going ta brush off the fact ya beat the willies outta the poor guy, but you're not the only pony that would turn nasty when given that sort of power."
Rainbow looked desperately at her friend. "Wh-What do you mean??"
"It's a psychological thing," the farm pony explained. "Some ponies, when given the power, will start ta act in ways they usually wouldn't. Doesn't mean they are brainless when they do, but that's just the way it is sometimes - that's all Ah know, anyway."
"Still," Rainbow said in a weak voice. "I-I was -"
"- A monster, yeah," Applejack agreed. "That doesn't mean you're a monster, though."
"He definitely hates me..." Rainbow said in a sullen voice.
"Ah would agree with that," Applejack confirmed. "If you're an equine, Toby probably hates ya. Although, he probably hates ya more than the rest of us."
"Thanks for the support, A.J.," Rainbow grumbled.
"Now don't go blamin' me," Applejack replied with a hint of indigence in her tone. "What's been done's been done. Ya could try ta apologize, but I doubt the critter would take that well."
Rainbow hung her head. Applejack, realizing she had been a bit harsh, could see that her friend was genuinely regretful; sitting on her own poo, so to speak. She trotted a bit closer and lifted the pegasus's chin, so that they could look one another in the eye.
"You're still my friend, sugarcube, and Ah'm sorry fer bein' a bit harsh," Applejack said consolingly. "Ah know you're sorry, it's just that some things aren't easily forgiven."
Rainbow returned this with a weak smile, and flapped a couple feet off the ground with her powerful wings. "Thanks, A.J. I'm going to go check on Tank - are you still up for working out later?"
"Ah work out all day anyway, but Ah'll take ya up on that there offer," Applejack replied, and the two friends parted ways to continue going about their day - although now with a heavy topic on their minds.
Luna hoped that Toby's dreamscape would be easier to enter this time - however, if she had to break that hard, black shell again, she would without a second thought. Being the well-educated pony she was on the complexities of dream orbs, she knew for an absolute fact that the shell wasn't meant to be there. There was a deeper meaning to all of this, and if she was going to help Tobias heal, she would need to get to the bottom of it.
Still - some of the things Toby had shouted at her during her last excursion into his mind still echoed in her thoughts - and what bothered her most was the fact that the things he had said were accurate. She knew he wouldn't lie about such things either; despite barely knowing him, anypony who had been around his pre-breakdown self would have known that he was reserved, quiet, and incredibly strong in terms of morals and personality.
That, or maybe that was only herself that knew these things - she was really good at reading ponies. Or humans, in this case.
It took her much less time to locate Toby's orb - since she knew what she was looking for this time, her magical influence over the dreamscape allowed her to find it very quickly - after looking for any other nightmares that may have arisen, of course; she still had to care for her ex-subjects.
She approached the depressing, pitch black orb with confidence. If she was going to hit the shell again, she would be ready to blast another hole in it. The orb gave off a small trail of smoke and a faint hiss, probably from her last forced entrance.
She took a deep breath and lit up her horn, and experienced the same old sensation of being pushed through an extremely small funnel. Then she hit the shell; the solid black mass had severely knocked the wind out of her, but she was ready regardless. Another powerful blast of magic, and she was in.
Once again, she found herself in a tropical rainforest - although it was now dusk, rather than the middle of the night. This time, she knew that this scene wasn't a fabrication of his mind. She knew better now.
This would be another memory.
The shade provided by the upper canopies of the Vietnamese rainforest did nothing to prevent the sweltering humidity that rested over the accursed place. It was like walking under a thick, heavy electric blanket turned all the way up to the highest temperature setting and through a steam room all at once. Pair this with the weight you carried in your pack, along with your camouflage attire that seemed to get heavier with each step, and you find yourself willing to do anything to stop and rest.
Toby's platoon had been marching for some time now - the third day of it, to be exact - and the target was still a two day's journey away. They had walked through these miserable conditions for about twelve hours now, with breaks scattered over two-hour intervals, and everyone was more than ready to collapse with exhaustion. Fortunately, their spirits were slightly lifted as the sun sank below the horizon, signaling the waning hour of their march was upon them.
It was still hot as balls during the night, but monumentally less so than the day - but the only good thing about daylight in Vietnam was that you didn't have to worry about death lurking in the shadows - whether that be in the form of enemy-set booby-traps, killer wildlife, or another ambush. The whole platoon was still shaken by the prospect of the latter, even though the ambush that took Marcus's life as well as the lives of six others occurred before the march started.
Evenings in Vietnam were the second-best time of day in Vietnam - the first being dawn - and the difference between the two was only separated by the waves of anxiety that would crash over you as the insidious rainforest around you fell into shadow.
Unfortunately, Vietnam is patient. Leave your guard down for one second, and it lunges for your throat - in the case of Carter McGlaggen, his best friend of all time, it went for his ankles.
They were picking their way to the base of a small waterfall that fell into a small pond. Magnus gave the order to drop their things, and a faint whoop went up among the troops. They instantly dropped their burdens and began setting up camp.
"O'Leary! McGlaggen! Collins! Weber! You're all on firewood duty tonight!" Magnus ordered, and the subjects of it grumbled.
Toby had been pulling out his tent canvas when the order had been called out, and inwardly groaned. He felt a hand clap on his shoulder, and Carter was there, sporting his signature stupid grin. Leave it to him to try and brighten up any situation. Toby wished he sported the same optimism.
"At least we're in this together, eh, Toby?" his friend said cheerily.
"I can't believe you have the energy to even talk like that," Toby grunted, but felt himself grin anyway as he pushed himself to his feet. The two friends pestered one another as they left the camp, followed closely by the other two comrades that had been ordered to go.
"Listen, it's only firewood," Carter said in a bright tone. "Stop being so grumpy; together, we can do this!!"
"You're a frickin' child, Carter, you know that?" Toby deadpanned, squatting down to pick up a large stick. "Besides, I don't see why we can't just use leaves or something."
"I thought you were the smart one?" said a voice behind them, and Toby scowled at the offender - Sedgwick Weber, a sandy-haired, pudgy-faced man with broad shoulders. "Leaves burn faster than wood, and we need something to consistently burn to cook shit. Besides, Collier won't let us waste C4 or other stuff to cook, so this is what we got."
"Fire makes us way easier to see if you're going to ambush us," Toby reasoned. Weber didn't reply, meaning he probably had nothing to argue that point right now. Ambushes were a touchy subject among their platoon.
"Quit bickering," Carter groaned. "You're ruining my efforts."
"Shut up, you," Toby laughed in spite of himself. "Just because YOU'RE cheery doesn't mean the rest of us can be."
"Amen, man," Weber put in, and they all shared a good chuckle.
The group collected sticks in silence for a while, trying to beat the dusk. When they felt they had met the proper quota, they began the return journey by retracing their steps to the best of their ability.
"Man..." Carter said after a while, "I don't know what I'd do if I had no friends here. You're all keeping me sane."
"Glad you think so," Toby grunted in reply. "I think I can agree with you there."
"Well, you also have Marietta keeping you sane," Carter pressed playfully.
"Shut up. I haven't gotten a letter from her in three weeks," Toby retorted. "I hope she's okay..." He watched subconsciously as they approached a branch from a bush that stuck out into their path.
"Well, she's definitely better off there than here," Carter sighed. "Can't forget what happened three days ago..."
Now Toby was looking intently at the branch as it drew closer. Was it just him, or did it look abnormally... tense?
"Hey Carter, watch your feet," he said quietly.
His friend clearly didn't hear him, and continued his monologue. "I mean, this place is freaking terrifying, man. I don't know any other place where - AUGH!!!"
"CARTER!!" Toby bellowed as his friend disappeared into the treetops. The three left standing looked wildly around, crying out the name of their lost comrade.
Over the next five seconds, disgusting sounds that Toby couldn't even explain resonated thickly through the trees, which forced upon him the unbearable, horrible truth that he had tried not to consider possible for as long as he had been with his best friend in this war.
Carter was gone. All those years they had been together was now more than just a memory.
He heard a strangled feminine sob, and he whirled around to find a strange creature standing there - a navy blue unicorn-pegasus combination with a starry mane complete with a image of the moon on her flank.
She was kind of pretty for a horse...
The scene faded around him, and everything came flooding back to him; landing in an alien world, being imprisoned, mistreated, and misunderstood...
He was in the familiar darkness again. The last time he had been here, he had heard echoes of his father's voice - things the wretched man had said to him during his brief stay on Earth after the war.
He was not alone, however - Luna was standing ten feet from him, her face soaked with tears. She glanced at him for a second, then looked away.
"Toby... I - I had no idea... was it that bad?" she asked softly in a very thick voice.
Before he could register his own emotions, Toby felt as if a geyser burst behind his eyes, and stooped over with his hands on his knees. How could he answer a question like that??
"W-Who was the poor human whom you lost??" Luna asked, clearly trying to reign herself in.
Toby swallowed bitterly and sat down. He wiped his eyes and nose, trying to keep some dignity with the way he held himself - he was being a child!
YOU'RE SUCH A CHILD, TOBY - GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, a voice boomed out of the darkness the instant he had thought it. It sounded almost exactly similar to his own...
Luna looked around wildly, then at Toby. Suddenly, she recognized what was going on. "You aren't a child, Tobias. You are strong, stronger than I ever was - the fact that you managed to swallow the emotions regarding these horrible m-memories - that takes a level of moral fiber I have never seen before..."
Toby didn't reply, he just sat there in silence.
"... Toby...?"
"Carter McGlaggen," Toby suddenly said.
"Wh-What?" Luna stammered, taken aback. "I-I'm afraid I don't understand."
"His name was Carter McGlaggen," Toby repeated. "The guy who was thrown into a tree... he was my best pal. Knew him for nineteen years before he - he..." His voice faltered.
"Toby - I - I never knew," Luna sighed. "Nopony should ever have to go through that..."
"Tch! Humans go through it all the time; what makes me so special??" Toby retorted nastily.
Luna bit her lip. "I want to tell you that I know you are special, and have a purpose, but what good can I do if you don't believe me? I don't understand the things you have see, or have been put through, or anything like that - but I don't want to see you destroy yourself, like I did once..."
"You're lying," Toby muttered, but Luna could hear the slight doubt in his voice. "Things didn't just always happen in the war - I did things, Luna, DID THINGS THAT I'LL REGRET UNTIL MY DYING DAY!!"
Luna winced at the outburst, but then a sudden idea stuck her. "I too have a past I wish I could change, Toby," she said softly.
Toby looked at her incredulously. "Wh-What? What are you talking about?"
"Allow me to show you... and then you can understand that we aren't so different in many ways," Luna replied calmly, and the scene shifted once more as she lit up her horn.
They were now standing in an old, ornate bedroom with a lunar-themed color scheme. A much younger-looking Luna lay huddled in the center of the room, sobbing her eyes out. It was a pitiful sight, but Toby recognized those kinds of sobs - heavy, hopeless - the feeling of being forsaken.
"How long ago was this?" Toby asked, gazing directly at Luna's past self.
"Just over a thousand years ago," Luna replied, and giggled slightly at the shocked squeak that escaped Toby's lips. "My sister, Celestia, was the prized possession of Equestria - and acted the part wholeheartedly. The citizens loved her so much that I was shunted aside, forgotten."
Toby watched as an evil purple glow began to form around young Luna, growing stronger with each silent cry she let out. "So... what's this purple stuff?" he asked.
"I will explain in a moment," Luna replied sadly, watching her former self's shuddering form. "I soon grew jealous of my sister; what was so great about the sun? Wasn't the moon a celestial body too?"
"... I don't follow," Toby said quietly.
Luna smiled for some reason. "I'm getting there. I wished for ponies to see me for what I was - a Princess, not a spare in case something were to happen to dear sister."
Her past self went still as the purple aura that surrounded her receded into her very skin. She suddenly got to her hooves, a new expression making its way onto her face - hatred. Anger. She made her way to the door with an intense look on her face.
"Wait - what's happening?" Toby asked, completely lost. "You still haven't told me what the purple stuff was."
Luna's horn lit up again, and the scene changed to what Toby guessed was a throne room.
"From my room, I came here," Luna said somberly.
Past-Luna did indeed show up moments later. The scene that unfolded in front of Toby's very eyes awed him - Luna confronted her sister and transformed into a pony-monster with extreme power. The two began to duel, and the scene faded into darkness.
"From that day forward, I was known as Nightmare Moon, the evil pony who wanted eternal night," Luna said sadly. "Sister banished me to the moon for one thousand years, and when I returned I was fortunate enough to be restored by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. It took a long time for me to be forgiven by my subjects; even longer for me to forgive myself."
Toby didn't know what to think. For some strange reason, he wanted to believe her; perhaps it was because he finally found something in common with someone since the war had ended (if what Luna had told him was indeed true). However, he found himself doubting her regardless; after all, she had lied to him before.
"This is a lot to take in," he muttered, rubbing his temples.
"I am not asking you to believe me, Toby," Luna said in a somber, serene tone. "I just wanted to point out that nopony's perfect, no matter how badly they messed up - if they truly regret it, that is what matters."
Toby looked up at her with a lost expression. "What do you mean?"
"Once I realized that my friends and subjects have forgiven me, I learned something important. Even though I created a name that ponies all over would fear for a thousand years, that didn't define who I was - the real Luna - and I believe the same applies to you."
"But - but - I killed people, Luna!!" Toby protested. "You don't understand - some of them were children - imagine how their families felt!! Imagine what lives they could have had!!"
"Yes, Tobias, but just think!!" Luna protested. "Are you reveling in this or regretting??"
Toby gave her a reproachful look and snapped, "Well, DUH!! I'm regretting th-" As soon as he said that, he froze, finally understanding Luna's point.
"Do you want to heal, Toby?" Luna asked softly.
"Y-Yeah, I do," Toby replied.
"Then the first step to it is to forgive yourself," Luna advised in a consoling tone. "I must go... will you be alright?"
"Y-Yeah," Toby stammered, and the lunar pony smiled.
Her smile didn't last long before falling off of her face. "Toby, I'm sorry... I don't mean to press this, but I hope you forgive me for... you know."
Toby's expression was blank. "... We'll see, Luna... there's a lot to process right now..."
Luna nodded. "I understand. Please if you have any questions, don't be afraid to -"
"Just one," Toby cut in, making Luna recoil ever so slightly. She instantly relaxed and nodded for him to continue.
Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Are you really in love with me?"
Whatever Luna had been expecting, it was not this. Her face felt uncomfortably warm as she stammered, "O-Oh! Erm - I-I'm afraid that - I don't -" She sighed. "I don't believe I do, Toby. I confess that I was only looking for an excuse for my unexpected tyrannical attitude towards you."
"Alright. Thanks for being honest," the human replied. His expression was completely unreadable.
"Er - yes, of course," Luna said with a smile, and approached the human. She embraced him warmly, a gesture of which he did not return. This stung a little bit, but she decided to brush it off. She released him and lit up her horn. She felt a sensation of being pulled out of a very confined space, and she was outside Toby's dream orb once more - although this time, she noticed a small difference.
On the relentless, depressing black shell, there was a small stress crack.
When Toby woke up, he felt slightly less heavy than he usually felt when waking up. This was an unusual difference, but there was something else on his mind, something that made him strangely uncomfortable.
So she really doesn't love me.
He thought that such a thing would put him in good spirits, but he felt a bit put out. Maybe it was the prospect of knowing that someone was attracted to him, but now was informed that it was not true. That was a typical psychological thing for humans; it usually boosted one's self esteem to know that someone else was attracted to them. No - knowing that Luna doesn't actually love him in that way was a good thing, period.
But still... why was it bothering him so much?
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. "Thank you all for coming," Fluttershy said confidently as she looked around at all of her friends.
All six of them (plus Spike) were all sitting around a table at Sugarcube Corner. They had all arrived there quickly as soon as they heard that Fluttershy wanted to talk with them about Toby - especially Twilight and Applejack, who had been sent from his home by Toby himself.
"Of course," Twilight responded with a smile. "How did your conversation with him go? Did he tell you why he didn't want anything to do with us?" The lavender alicorn bit her lip nervously.
Fluttershy nodded, feeling all eyes on her. "Um... he said that you were all too pushy..."
"Is that to put it lightly?" Applejack asked in a slightly disappointed tone.
Fluttershy nodded her head nervously.
"Well, that would make sense, darling," Rarity sniffed, and everyone looked at her in surprise. "From everything I have heard from you, Twilight, you and A.J. here have been forcing your company upon the poor thing. If he claims that he doesn't want help, you clearly shouldn't try and disregard him by shoving it down his throat?"
"And stop helpin' him?" Applejack protested hotly.
"Nothing like that, dear - simply be subtle," Rarity replied calmly. "I gave him a coat. You have been helping with construction, and I haven't heard him complain."
"You haven't heard him at all, silly!!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, who was the only one at the table who seemed to have energy. "Well - except for that one time you measured him for his coat. Squee!! "
"When Ah tried ta help him on tha first day Ah met 'im, he went bonkers," Applejack replied. "I haven't been able ta see him in a good light since."
"But he was such a gentlecolt when I measured him!!" Rarity protested. "Granted, I don't know him, but to me it sounds like life has been too rough on the poor dear."
"I was too rough on him," Rainbow mumbled miserably in the corner.
Twilight looked over at her friend sadly, then wrapped a wing around her. "Rainbow Dash, no one here is mad at you - I mean, how could we? You're practically a mess!"
Rainbow scowled. "And how is that information supposed to help me, exactly?"
"Well, it means you care, doesn't it?" Twilight explained. "That right there should be enough to prove that you're not a bad pony."
"Yeah!" Pinkie chimed in. "Now we just know not to give you too much power!!"
Rainbow moaned pitifully and slammed her face down on the table.
"PINKIE!!" everyone else groaned.
"Oops, hehe - squee!! "
"Going back to what we were talking about earlier," Twilight said pointedly, trying to reign conversation back in. "Rarity's right. AJ and I - especially me - have been too straightforward with him. I had some talks with Luna recently about him, and... well, what he's dealing with is apparently way worse than any of us thought."
"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.
"Remember when Luna told us he had been in some sort of war before coming here that he didn't want to actually be a part of?" Twilight replied.
All of her friends around the table nodded.
"Well, she didn't give me any specifics - and maybe I should be grateful," Twilight added, remembering the look on Luna's face when the lunar pony had told her these things. "But Toby has seen some awful things, events that are awful beyond imagination... and these memories are torturing him."
"Well, he isn't alone," Rarity replied with a concerned frown. "There's Starlight, remember? And Sunset Shimmer - not to forget, Nightmare Moon... how can one top that? No offense to dear Luna, of course."
"Well - Luna said that she had brought up that point to him several nights ago," Twilight replied. "But she also told me that his memories are - well - 'Nightmare Moon' tier in terms of regret and intensity, if that makes any sense..."
Everyone around the table froze - could it really be that bad?
"How about a party??" Pinkie asked enthusiastically, earning eye-rolls from all around the table. "He's new to town, I could just -"
"PARTIES AREN'T GONNA FIX HIM!!!" Rainbow bellowed, causing the whole of Sugarcube Corner to fall into a deathly silence. "YOU CAN'T JUST THROW SOME RIBBONS AND CONFETTI AT HIM AND EXPECT EVERYTHING TO BE FINE!! HE'S BROKEN, PINKIE, BROKEN BECAUSE OF ME!!!! " She broke out into tears.
Automatically all of her friends moved around the table to embrace the cyan pegasus while everyone else in the bakery watched in an absolutely shocked silence. Rainbow Dash, the strongest personality in Ponyville, the one who looks danger in the eye and laughs, the one who has saved the world with her friends countless times - reduced to a sobbing mess...?
"Rainbow, if Ah've said it once, Ah'll say it a million times if Ah've got ta," Applejack said in a firm, sympathetic tone. "You are not defined by your past actions - if Toby never likes ya, that's on him. It would be his own fault he didn't get ta know the one an' only Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow smiled and hugged the cowpony even harder.
Those watching the scene unfold threw curious looks at one another. There had been rumors going around Equestria about the presence of a bipedal creature... did that have anything to do with this?
"I think we should get some sun before the winter wrap up," Pinkie suggested solemnly as the room returned to their conversations. Her demeanor had changed completely after being hollered at by her friend. "Just enjoy the snow before it's gone, you know??"
The girls all nodded in agreement and made their way towards the door. Before Pinkie could follow suit, however, a cyan hoof stopped her.
"Pinkie... listen," Rainbow said in an apologetic tone. "I'm... I'm sorry for yelling at you. It's just - Toby -"
Pinkie broke her off by way of warm embrace, squeezing her tight. "It's okay, Dashie - I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it! Now, come on!"
The two of them hurried after their friends, giggling.
Chimneys were stupid hard to build. On top of everything that had been happening, he thought things may start to look up.
Didn't seem that way anymore.
It was nearly evening, and the cementing paste he had bought from the hardware store was practically useless. He had only managed to dig a small pit in which to add extra foundation for a fireplace. He slumped to the ground into a cross-legged sitting position, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his forehead on the palms of his hands.
His mind wandered off. Fluttershy... he really appreciated how seemingly relaxed she was about his condition; she probably cared , unlike any of the others. Then again - was he being stupid? After all, when he had told Twilight and Applejack to leave, they did so without much protest. That had to mean something - were they realizing that they had been to pushy up until that point, or were they just trying to give him a moment of peace?
A lump of guilt formed in his throat. He hated being depressed like this - he would give anything just to be able to return to his old life, the life before that war . Since then, he had been mistreated - but now that he thought about it, those who had been involved with his interrogations at the castle made daily attempts to reach him. The attempts had been growing more subtle as the days went by... probably because he pushed them away.
Was he making a mistake? From day one he had associated these ponies with his own bad luck. Maybe he needed to be more optimistic? Was that the problem here - that he wasn't being grateful?
What is there to be grateful for!? he thought to himself bitterly. You lost your innocence, future, and all of your friends to the war. You come back to find that the love of your life doesn't love you back anymore, and 'forgot' to write to you about it. Then your own family forsakes you - only to be followed by a couple of botched suicide attempts that landed you in an alien world.
He felt desperate, as if he were clawing at the sides of a bottomless pit, slowly being dragged down into nothingness. It was hopeless - unless...
What if he tried to give friendship a chance? What would the others think? What if they hated him for being a jerk, for being too violent??
If he became an outcast here too, it was probably time to call the curtains for him.
A bush rustled behind him, making him jump. He faced himself in the direction of the noise, listening, as a hazy vision of a dark rainforest swam into view. He shook it out of his head - it was not what he needed right now!
A bush on the far side of the clearing quivered, and a large shape emerged.
Toby's jaw fell open. "P-Pa... Peace!"
Pacificae stood up on her hind legs and gazed at him with a look of immense tranquility.
"I'm sorry..." Toby muttered audibly. His eyes became watery as he experienced a tight clenching sensation in his chest. "I - I can't... I'm not worth it..."
Pacificae calmly closed the distance in between them and nuzzled into her friend. Toby wrapped his arms around the jackalope, holding on for dear life. He grit his teeth; he would not let himself cry.
They held this position for what seemed like years. After ten minutes, Pacificae chirped at him.
"Yeah, you're right," Toby chuckled, wiping his eyes off. "Whaddya say, Peace? Wanna help me build this chimney?"
Two weeks later ~ the day before Hearts and Hooves Day.
As Luna approached Toby's dream orb, she noticed that there were several stress fractures on the black outer shell. Whether this was a good thing or not was unknown - if the shell shattered, what would happen to the stability of the rest of the orb? Would it collapse?
She lit up her horn and entered, this time managing to avoid colliding with the barrier. She braced herself to be amidst a terrible memory of Toby's war, but when she opened her eyes she was not in a deep, sweltering, miserable jungle.
She was in the middle of a quaint town in a pleasant, deciduous environment. Strange metal carriages that drove themselves rolled past her. A man in a dark blue uniform leaned upon a mailbox, observing the small groups of humans around him with a look of slight authority. An elderly lady that held a small dog on a leash approached him, and the two began conversing happily.
Luna looked around. This place reminded her of a quaint street in suburban Manehattan, with the colorful, vibrant shops that caught passerby's eye by way of the colorful awnings that highlighted their presence along the street. A large group of salivating kids clogged up the window to a candy shop. They gawked over the delicious looking treats as they pressed their faces into the glass.
"My hometown - Wawaka," said a familiar voice from behind her that made her squawk and whirl around.
Toby giggled. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
Luna blushed. " I didn't expect to see you out of a dream before. Is this a memory of your home?"
"More than that - I remember this day like the back of my hand," Toby replied with a hint of spite in his voice.
Luna looked at him. "Wh-Whatever do you mean? How can you be in the memory of the dream, yet be aware of my presence?"
"I don't really know..." Toby replied, looking down at his own hands. "I just kinda realized I was in a dream, since I recognized that all of this had already happened. Then I was suddenly watching myself in the third person - I could think and move individually."
"Interesting..." Luna murmured. "I shall have to study such a phenomenon sometime - however, now is not that time. You said you were watching yourself?"
"Yeah - follow me," Toby replied, and started off towards the far end of the street. As they approached a gardening shop, Luna recognized the man standing in front of the storefront window. It was Toby - although he looked a lot less tired and worn. He wore a nice looking pair of black fabric pants, paired with a business jacket and a tie. He kept fidgeting with his tie and adjusting his hair, occasionally glancing down to nervously check his watch.
"What in Equestria are you doing?" Luna asked curiously.
"This was my fifth day home from the war," Toby replied with a distant look in his eyes. "The first day I was allowed out of the house by my parents - my mother finally convinced my father not to loom over me with an iron fist, and I was allowed to go out."
"Why are you so dressed up?" Luna asked.
"Marietta," Toby replied curtly. "This was the first day I saw her when I got back from Vietnam."
"Oh, how exciting!!" Luna exclaimed, making Toby scowl. Failing to notice this, she continued, "I can't imagine how excited you were on this day. It must have been wonderful!!"
"Yeah," Toby grunted, "For someone else."
Luna looked around at him, surprised. "What is the matter with you? ... Do you miss her...?"
Toby glowered at her, making her recoil. "Remember when I didn't want to tell you about the last time I gave my heart to someone on Christm -er, Hearth's Warming Eve?"
"I - I do," Luna replied, taken aback. "Why?"
"You're about to find out," Toby huffed morosely in reply, turning his attention back to his past self.
His past self straightened his tie slightly, and glanced at his watch. As soon as he did so, he jumped. Beaming, he set off down the street at a brisk pace with an excited spring in his step. Luna followed curiously, while the present Toby trudged in the back. He really didn't want to have to see this scene again, but a strange sensation in his gut told him that Luna should.
Past-Toby turned a couple corners, not relenting his speed one bit. A couple of blocks later, he came to an abrupt stop outside what was clearly a bar. A homely sign hung over the entrance, swinging softly in the pleasant afternoon breeze.
El Rancharo's
Past-Toby seemed to hesitate. His eyes were full of nervous, twitchy energy, wildly looking around as if he were afraid he were being judged for some strange reason by passerby.
"I was so nervous," Toby said sadly, watching himself fidget with his tie's alignment again. "I hadn't seen her for two years - the longest two years of my life. She was the one I would think about constantly during the war just to keep myself sane - she was a beacon of hope, well-being, and most importantly, a future ..."
"She meant that much to you?" Luna asked in a hushed tone. "You have mentioned her before, and that she had been important to you, but... I had no idea it was that intense."
Toby nodded, not taking his eyes off of his past self. Past-Toby checked his reflection in the storefront mirror of the bar again, and brushed his bangs to one side.
"You were not kidding when you said you were nervous," Luna joked nervously. "But why are you taking this all in so solemnly? Was it really that bad?"
"I told you," Toby grunted, "You'll find out soon. What happens in these next few minutes has destroyed me, and I still feel it to this day."
Past-Toby straightened up his posture and took a deep breath, closing his eyes while doing so. He set his jaw and made his way for the door. Present-Toby gestured sadly for Luna to follow, and they followed him into the bar.
It was a crowded and noisy place, but still had a friendly atmosphere if you could ignore the rowdy bunch of men seated at the mahogany counter to the left. Round wooden tables were scattered about the room at neat intervals, some empty, others playing host to other drunken, obnoxious people or souls who were just looking for a quiet moment to themselves.
Past-Toby stood framed in the doorway, as his eyes raked the room. They fixed themselves upon a beautiful human girl with brown hair that fell to her shoulders in curls. She was sitting at the counter, chatting happily with another man. Past-Toby's face lit up the moment he saw her, and eagerly began making his way towards her. That was definitely Marietta; Toby had explained her appearance to Luna so well, a sure sign of love... but then something happened that changed everything.
What happened next caused her jaw to hit the floor with disgust and immense sympathy for Toby. What happened next finally made her understand what kind of pain he was experiencing to this day.
The strange man with Marietta leaned in towards her, and she submitted herself to him willingly. They entered into a passionate kiss, drawing stares and even a couple wolf-whistles from the group of loud drunks. One of the man's hands held Marietta's side, while the other drifted down her back in a sensual fashion.
The expression on Past-Toby's face would be reflected in Luna's nightmares to her dying day. It was the look of someone who had finally realized he had lost everything - someone who finally wholly and completely believed they were of no use or worth to the world anymore.
Past-Toby was finished, and he knew it.
He pelted out of the bar, earning a couple of surprised and curious looks from people in the immediate area. Luna watched him go, horrified, not even daring to look back at the cheating woman who had utterly ruined him.
"Toby..." she said quietly as her eyes began to burn. "Toby, I had no idea..."
"You didn't know a lot of things," Present-Toby agreed wearily, who was also clearly in the mood to leave. "That's alright, though... you just want to help. That's what friends do, isn't it?"
"Toby..." Luna replied softly, noticing the strange tone he had used when saying the word 'friends' .
"It doesn't matter... I'm not meant to be with anyone - at least I know that ," he said grumpily as Luna faded the memory around them into nothingness.
"Toby, that's not true..."
"Luna, if you haven't noticed, I'm an alien here!!" Toby snapped. "Even if I was somehow compatible with someone here, I've pushed them all away!! I'm a jerk! Who would want to hang around a pill like me...?"
"I know a group of ponies who would be more than willing to give you a second chance at life," Luna replied, feeling a bit stung by the way he lashed out at her.
"Tch - yeah right," Toby replied. "Fluttershy, maybe, but the others? I'm sure Applejack would be real enthused to hang out with me after the way I've treated her. I've done nothing but push Twilight and her well-intentioned efforts away. I hardly know Rarity, or that other pink one you mentioned, but they'd probably hate me for treating their friends like crap."
"Not true," Luna disagreed in a confident tone, "I think they have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to support you since day one. Besides, you missed a pony."
"Who?" Toby asked, raising his eyebrow. "Is it anyone I know?"
Luna bit her lip. "On second thought... I don't know if you'd want to know."
"Try me," Toby deadpanned.
Luna swallowed. She could very well be jeopardizing the safety of one of her dear friends - but how could she know how Toby would react? He had finally just admitted to his loneliness, which was music to her ears... perhaps something had changed?
Luna sighed. "Rainbow Dash. That's who."
Toby turned away from her, hiding his expression from view. "Great. Whoopee. So not only would I get turned away by her friends, I'd get the crap beaten out of me. Again ."
"If you're giving Twilight and her occasional invasive tendencies a chance, I think you need to hear this one out," Luna replied sternly. "Not a day has gone by that I haven't seen Rainbow Dash smile since I saw her before your - er - interrogation. She's a mess, Toby, and ever since she found out you were here -"
"She knows I'm here?" Toby interrupted, turning around. He had a slightly frightened look in his eyes.
"Let me finish," Luna continued. "Ever since she found out you were here in Ponyville, she has been an absolute nervous wreck. She thinks that any second you might pop out and take revenge on her for the physical and mental damage she had caused you. What she did to you back in Canterlot has haunted her, Toby, and it takes two to heal forgive such a thing. Not only do you need to forgive her, she needs to forgive herself . I'm not forcing you to do anything, Toby, but I strongly encourage that you be the bigger stallion - er, human - here."
Toby chuckled at her display of confusion at the end of the lecture. "I - I'll think about it... but back home, I would be known as a 'man', not a stallion."
"Interesting," Luna replied curiously. "And what would humans call a female, rather than 'mare'?"
"We call them 'women'," Toby replied.
"Ooh!" Luna chirped.
"Yeah," Toby laughed. "I don't see why you're so excited by this."
"Because your world is fascinating!! " Luna replied enthusiastically. She hopped slightly in place, making the butterflies in Toby's stomach flutter slightly.
"Cute," he murmured before he could process it.
Luna stopped her hopping abruptly and fixed him with a raised eyebrow. "What was that?"
"Wha -? NOTHING!!" Toby yelped, turning slightly red. "I was -"
"I could have sworn you said something," Luna pressed with a smirk. "Care to elaborate? Alicorn's ears don't lie."
"... I said nothing. NOTHING," Toby replied in a flustered tone.
"It sounded almost like you said, 'cute'!" Luna slyly remarked, grinning even wider. "But I thought you were emotionless!!"
"Alright, fine. Guilty as charged," Toby deadpanned, making Luna giggle. "It was sort of cute in an excited-puppy sort of way, you know? Don't tell you wouldn't think a dancing puppy isn't cute, because you'd be lying."
"Are you implying that I'm a dog?" Luna asked in a mock-offended tone. "Tch, the nerve!"
"In my defense, you both have four legs," Toby quipped.
Luna laughed and hugged Toby. "I'm only teasing, Toby. Loosen up a bit."
"Tch, the nerve," Toby said in an imitation of Luna's voice.
"Hey!"
"Do you think Luna was telling us the truth?" Fluttershy asked Rarity as the two made their way to Toby's home. The night before, Luna had approached them both individually in their dreams and told them about her conversation with Toby the night prior - everything that concerned them, at least. It was clear to both of them that Luna was hiding something else, for she acted a little strangely when Rarity asked her about it.
"Honestly, darling, I have no clue," Rarity admitted, taking care to avoid a muddy puddle. The Winter Wrap Up had been completed in record time this year, but some of the moisture from the snow had created some 'icky-dreadful' puddles, as Rarity so maturely put it.
"I guess we'll find out soon..." Fluttershy replied. "I don't know how he's going to react when he sees you."
"I can take it, darling," Rarity assured her anxious friend. "Honestly. He was such a gentlecolt when he came by for his coat, so maybe he won't mind my presence. Maybe the food will help soften the tension," she added, shaking the basket of bread, butter, jam, and eggs they had brought.
The two friends continued through the woods in silence, admiring the beauty of the post-winter woods. Everything seemed to gleam happily, encouraging all the hibernating critters that resided there to come out.
"My my, what a quaint little place," Rarity commented as they approached his cabin.
Fluttershy stared in amazement at the stone chimney that was on the left side of the home. "That wasn't there yesterday... how did he do it?"
"Are you saying that he built that in a day?" Rarity asked incredulously, following her friend's gaze. "I find that hard to believe, but not impossible to do, I guess. Shall we?"
Fluttershy nodded, and the two of them approached the front door. The deck out front gleamed in the morning sunlight, boasting its beautiful carved handrails that had been assembled by Applejack and her brother. The roof glinted with post-winter moisture, the tiles each doing their job in keeping the house inside nice and dry. This was also assembled by Applejack, along with some others; it baffled her that Toby had still failed to say thank you.
Fluttershy knocked softly on the door. A grunting snore resounded from inside in reply.
"Toby, darling, we have breakfast!" Rarity called out.
"Wha -? Where -?" said a faint masculine voice, followed by a dull thud . Footsteps... then the door was flung open to reveal a very tired looking Toby.
"Oh! Fluttershy," he said groggily. "You're earlier than usually are for these morning visits."
Fluttershy exchanged a look with Rarity. "Um, no I'm not."
"You're - not?" Toby replied, looking bewildered. "But it's only - wait, what time is it?"
"I left home about eight, and it took about five minutes to walk here," Fluttershy answered. "Did you sleep in today?"
Toby rubbed his eyes. "Must have..." He then noticed Rarity standing there. "What is she doing here?"
"I just thought that maybe I could tag along," Rarity replied nervously, biting her lip. "I hope that's not a problem...?"
Toby stared at her. "You - you want to come in? And talk to me?"
Rarity blinked. "Well - yes, darling, that was sort of the point of coming along. Is something wrong? Am I out of place here?"
To the immense surprise of the two ponies, Toby smiled. "Nope. Why don't you come in? I'll wake Pacificae."
As they walked inside, Fluttershy let out an excited squeak. "You two are friends again?? How exciting!! Where did you find her?"
Taking a seat at the table, Toby chuckled. "Actually, she found me . I was trying to work on my chimney yesterday, and she came up out of the woods. Then we just kinda made up on the spot."
"Yes - about that - how in Equestria did you manage to finish a chimney that size in one night?" Rarity asked, setting the basket of food on the table.
"Well, I wasn't doing so hot until Peace showed up - I know this sounds kind of gross, but when we mix her saliva with mud and clay, it makes for a super strong cementing paste - way better than that garbage you can get at the hardware store," Toby replied as he reclined in his chair. "Isn't that right, Peace? Peace? Oy, Peace, wake up!"
The jackalope, who had been slumbering on his bed, didn't budge.
"Ah well," Toby grunted as he turned back around. "What's in the basket, Miss Rarity?"
"Just Rarity is fine," Rarity giggled. "And here Fluttershy and I brought you some breakfast rolls, butter, jam, and eggs - although I forgot why we brought the eggs, since you have nothing to cook them on..."
"It's a work in progress," Toby said dismissively. "Thanks so much, though!"
"Of course," Fluttershy replied, smiling brightly at him. "It was no trouble."
Toby dove into the basket, pulling out napkins, a few butter knives, the condiments, and the rolls. He divided them up, and they began to eat.
"So - um, Toby..." Fluttershy said quietly. "You seem in a good mood today. May I ask why? ... If that's okay with you, I mean."
Toby smiled at the unnecessary politeness, but after a moment his expression immediately changed into a slight frown. "I - I've just been thinking a lot lately..."
Rarity took a dainty bite out of her roll and stared at Toby. "I can tell - from the sounds of it, you haven't been too happy lately..."
Toby groaned and placed his forehead down on the table.
"Oh dear... I'm really sorry, darling," Rarity apologized quickly, seeing her error. "I didn't mean it in the insensitive way I said it!"
"No, it's okay," Toby replied. "It's just... yeah, I haven't been happy, and it's taken a while for me to be honest with myself about it. "It's just - I'm tired of feeling like the grouchy alien on the hill. I know I have reasons, but... it's really lonely up here, being by myself every day. When you began visiting me a week ago, Flutters, I think I started to notice it more."
"But you have Pacificae, too," Rarity pointed out.
"Not before yesterday, though," Toby replied. "Remember?"
"Right, right... forgive me."
"It's cool, Rarity," Toby replied reassuringly. "As I was saying, though, I just started to notice how lonely I felt. I kind of wanted friends, but I still felt bitter towards ponies in general, save a few. "The more I thought about it, though, and the more I talked to Luna about it, I realized that I was isolating myself. I sort of realized that - that I wanted friends. People to talk to and laugh with... and all I've done since coming to Equestria is push you guys away."
"You haven't pushed us away," Rarity replied, making Toby look up at her incredulously. "We've actually been waiting - Twilight most of all - for you to open up more. Speaking of Twilight, she does feel really bad about trying to shove help down your throat - she can be a bit over the top sometimes..."
Toby laughed. "Yeah... it's okay. I forgive her."
The words had simply fallen out of his mouth, but the impact it had on him was monumental. A small burden seemed to slip and fall off of his shoulders - he still felt heavy, but a little less so now.
"Would - would she want to be friends, then?" Toby asked. "I know that sounds childish, but -"
"Twilight already thinks you're a friend," Fluttershy said happily. "I do, too."
"And so do I," Rarity chirped. "Remember, Twilight was the Princess of Friendship for the longest time. Still is, really, but now she's responsible for even more. Despite all this, she still considers helping you a priority."
"Wha - me!?" Toby yelped. "I'm more important to her than an entire freaking country??"
"I didn't say that," Rarity replied. "If Equestria was in danger, she would be on top of that. Things have been smooth, though, since the last incident with Tirek, Cowzy Glow, and Chrysalis -"
"I don't even wanna know," Toby joked.
"- But since then, things are running smoothly. Despite the responsibility of running a country, she's still concerned for your well-being," Rarity continued. "If that isn't friendship, I don't know what is."
"But what about the rest of you?" Toby asked. "Applejack has to hate me after I turned her away like that. I don't know about that pink one, whatever her name was..."
"Oh, Pinkie Pie?" Fluttershy answered. "It's impossible to get her to hate anyone, and when we all thought you died, she wouldn't come out of Sugarcube Corner for a long time."
"And Rainbow Dash... is she really scared of me?" Toby asked, and the expressions on the faces of the other two became deadly serious.
"Y-Yes... how did you know??" Fluttershy asked in a timid voice.
"Luna told me," Toby sighed, and he placed his head down on the table. "I'm just sick of holding grudges..."
"Aren't you afraid of her , darling?" Rarity asked.
"I - I don't know," Toby replied hesitantly. "Luna told me that she genuinely felt bad about the interrogation... for some reason, I want to believe her. I'm sick of being depressed all the time, and the worst part about it is that I can't really help feeling that way most of the time. I think I'm becoming desperate, girls - I-I don't want to be like this for the r-rest of my life..." His voice broke, and Fluttershy went over to hug him.
"Rainbow has been an absolute mess after the - erm - incident in your cell at C-Canterlot," Rarity replied, looking as if that were the absolute last thing she could think about. Had his suicide attempt really affected them this bad?
"She hasn't been anything like herself recently," Rarity continued. "When she learned that you were back in town, she became a nervous wreck - she thinks you're going to get back at her... you're not going to, right?" She cast him a nervous look.
Toby looked down at his hands. "No. That wouldn't help - if anything, it would only make me feel worse about myself..."
They ate in silence for a while, only broken by the sound of the butter knives clinking against the jam jar. Finally Rarity cleared her throat awkwardly.
"So, um... Toby, you've been talking to Luna?" she asked.
"Yeah," Toby replied, and a beautiful pair of cyan eyes swam to the foreground of his vision. "She's pretty great nowadays..."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. "Wait - are you...?"
"Am I what?" Toby asked curiously, feeling slightly uncomfortable as the unicorn scrutinized him.
"Oh, sweet Celestia..." she finally gasped, and leaned over to Fluttershy. She murmured something in the pegasus's ear, and now both of them were looking at him in a funny way.
"Guys...?"
"Um... how often do you, um... see Luna?" Fluttershy asked, blushing deeply.
"Uh... she comes to my dreams every night," Toby replied. "Why?"
"I thought you didn't like her," Rarity pressed with a sly look.
"Only until I learned who she really was, and now she's my best friend along with Peace," Toby replied nervously.
Rarity squealed, then she and Fluttershy put their heads together and conversed in low tones.
"Okay, what's going on here??" Toby asked, now a bit indignant.
"Oh, don't be thick," Rarity cooed. "You know what we're talking about - you like her, don't you? You do, right?"
"What!? No!!" Toby yelped, nearly falling out of his seat. "That came out of nowhere! What gave you that idea!?"
"Quick on the defense, aren't we?" Rarity giggled.
"You look a bit flustered," Fluttershy added.
"No - no! You're completely reading into it," Toby protested. "Besides, even if I did, she doesn't feel the same way."
"And how would you know that??" Rarity asked smugly.
"Because I wanted to know if she genuinely meant what she said on Hearth's Warming Eve," Toby deadpanned. "So I asked her, and it was a definite no. Any more questions?"
"When are you going to ask her to be your special somepony?" Fluttershy asked politely.
"WH-WHAT!? No!!" Toby sputtered. "What is that even supposed to mean?"
"Exactly how it sounds," Rarity pressed. "Every time you've said your name, your eyes sparkle."
"They do not!!!"
"Do too, darling!!"
"Um... do too?" Fluttershy added.
Many minutes were spent heckling Toby and his supposed crush on Luna. The topic soon changed, though, much to Rarity's dismay (being the gossip diva she was). As the sun ascended in the sky, Toby could feel himself grow closer to these ponies. He was feeling more of a resolve to go and live... after some time, of course.
Toby was busy explaining to his two friends how an automobile worked when someone hammered on the front door.
BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!
"Who in Equestria could that be??" Rarity asked, thoroughly startled.
"Hold on," Toby grunted as he got up from his seat. He crossed the room and heaved the front door wide open.
"Luna!? "
Luna was indeed on his front doorstep. "Hello, Tobias," she replied cheerfully.
"Is something wrong??" Toby asked, looking around at the surroundings outside. She was alone.
"Wrong? No, nothing's wrong," Luna replied blankly. "Why do you ask?"
"You nearly knocked down my front door," Toby deadpanned.
"Oh! That - I must have gotten carried away with excitement," Luna replied, blushing. "It's just - today is Hearts and Hooves Day!!! "
"Come again?" Toby asked, blinking.
"H-Hearts and Hooves Day," Luna repeated, now looking a bit deflated. "Have you never heard of such a holiday before?"
Toby shook his head blankly. "Is this important?"
"Er - um, not really," Luna replied, looking hesitant.
"Uh... wanna come in??" Toby asked, gesturing a hand towards the indoors.
"Actually, I was wondering if you'd accompany me to the bowling alley," Luna blurted.
"Ponies can bowl?" Toby asked. "Weird. To answer your question, though, sure! That sounds like fun. Maybe you can explain to me what this Heart's and Hooves Day is."
"No worries, Luna!!" rang out the voice of Rarity from inside. She sounded a bit more excited than was normal. "We can explain it to him!!"
"Y-You can??" Luna replied, blushing.
"I don't see a problem in that," Toby laughed. "What's up? You look like you're suffocating yourself. You wanna join us and eat something? We have breakfast rolls."
"Th-That sounds lovely, b-but I have - um, other things to - you know - do," Luna stammered. She then began trotting back towards Ponyville. "See you tonight, Tobias!"
"Wait!!" Toby called out after her. "When and where do you want to meet?"
Luna came to an abrupt halt, then turned to face him. "I'll just come and get you," she replied with a smile. She then turned and departed from view.
"Okay then..." Toby muttered, turning back to go inside. He only made it two steps before noticing how both Fluttershy and Rarity were on their hooves facing him, grinning ear to ear.
"What are you two smiling about??"
Author's Note
Yeah, so the ending may be a bit abrupt for some of you. I just wanted to get this done. Sorry...
Mares were so confusing.
Within the hour of Luna's encounter, Toby found himself being dragged off to Rarity's home, which apparently doubled as a boutique. The trip there had been an experience - it was then he had realized that he had never shown himself publicly before then. The whole way he received a mixture of awed, curious, and even frightened stares from the pony passerby. Now pair that with the fact that Rarity and Fluttershy had been acting like a bunch of giggly children since Luna had talked to him.
When the company of three arrived at Rarity's place, she instantly began dressing him up. This was extremely confusing, but Toby decided to swallow his frightened instinct to run and lock himself in his house for the sake of friendship.
"Okay... so tell me again - what does this day mean again?" Toby asked. "You guys have done nothing but squeal and whisper whenever I've asked you about this."
"Yes, yes, of course, darling," Rarity hummed, clearly not paying attention to anything he was saying.
Toby frowned. "Hmm... did you know that lasagna is just spaghetti-flavored cake?"
"You don't say..."
"Did you know that a female ferret in heat will literally die if she doesn't mate?"
"I knew that," Fluttershy put in, who was watching Rarity frolic about with a multitude of different fabrics. She giggled as she watched her hold up a roll of purple silk and compare it with the human.
Toby, who was forced to pose with his arms straight out, sighed. "Rarity, you already have my measurements. Can you please stop making me hold this pose?"
"Hmm... no, that doesn't accent your hair..."
"RARITY!! " Toby hollered, making her tumble backward. "Can you just please tell me what's going on!? Why are you doing this??"
"Oh! Well, I was just going to fashion you a tuxedo - no pun intended," the white unicorn giggled in rely. "You must have one - it's Hearts and Hooves Day , after all."
Toby gave her a dull look. "Okay, one - I still don't know what that means. Two, do I really need a tuxedo to go bowling?? "
Rarity froze for a split second, then immediately began to back off slightly. "Oops, hehe... I guess you're right."
"Well, it's about time you payed attention to what I'm trying to say," Toby grunted. "Do I have to keep posing, then? I don't want a tuxedo, they're expensive."
"Pfft," Rarity replied, smiling up at him. "I'm not going to charge you for any of this - what's your favorite color, darling?"
"Er - you're not?" Toby asked, blinking. "Also, purple."
"Thank you, darling, and of course you don't have to pay," Rarity hummed as she levitated a couple rolls that were differing shades of purple from a shelf. "I see this as a challenge!! ...Well, that, and I have a bit too much material to work with."
"How can you have too much material if you make a living doing this?" Toby asked, raising his eyebrows.
"My home is only so big," Rarity replied, placing the fabric rolls next to her sewing machine. "You should see my bedroom - I can barely move around!"
"Aha," Toby replied uncomfortably. "Um... you all still haven't told me about this 'Hearts and Hooves Day' yet."
"You don't know what it is!? " exclaimed Rarity indignantly.
"I've only tried to say it a kajillion times," Toby muttered grumpily.
"Why, it's the only day of the year that glorifies romance!!" the diva-ish mare squealed, pressing her hooves to her cheeks as a starry, far-off look took residence in her eyes. "It's by far the most adorable holiday of the year!!"
"I think we had something like that back in my world," Toby observed. "It was called 'Valentines Day', but in my opinion it was only for simpletons."
Rarity gasped. "How could you??"
"I haven't had the best experiences with romance, so pardon my lack of enthusiasm," Toby deadpanned. Making her angry expression to fall.
"Oh dear... Toby, I didn't mean to -"
"Forget it," Toby interrupted. "I'd rather not talk about it."
"Why dwell on the past, though, when you have a potentially exciting future ahead of you?" Rarity asked, regaining her excited energy again. All this mushy stuff seemed to give her unlimited hyperactiveness.
"What are you talking about?" Toby asked, racking his brains for a possible answer. As a hazy image of Luna came to mind, it dawned on him. "No - no! Luna and I are just friends - she's establish - I mean, we've established this!!!"
"See, Fluttershy??" Rarity giggled gleefully. "I told you! He does like her."
"Whatever," Toby grunted, wishing this extremely uncomfortable topic to change.
But what if she was right? Was he actually attracted to her? Every time he looked at her, his heart seemed to miss a beat. Every time she laughed at one of his quips, his stomach gave a lurch. Every time they talked, he couldn't get enough of those blue eyes...
A massive chill ran down his spine, as if someone had come up from behind and poured a bucket of ice-cold water down his back. Rarity was right.
Toby ran a hand through his hair. Now that he had actually been honest with himself, he found a multitude of mixed emotions, fear being the most dominant. Was this actually happening? Was it because Luna showed him who she really was, and how they weren't so different? She had become by far his best friend since she began counseling him in his dreams, but the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the friendship he had with her...
Besides, he would never forget what happened the last time he fell in love. The memory would stick with him for as long as the universe would endure.
"... Besides, Fluttershy, you never try anything new," said Rarity, who had been rambling to Fluttershy during Toby's brief train of thought. "I think your dear Angel would look absolutely dashing in a tuxedo... after all, I am starting to get comfortable with this biped clothing design - even familiar, I daresay... Toby, darling, you can take a seat."
The sudden fact of being addressed gave the human a start. He smiled at Rarity gratefully and made for the red sofa next to the door, and sat next to Fluttershy.
"I don't think Angel would like that very much..." Fluttershy replied with a grimace.
"Nonsense!" Rarity chuckled. "I believe the little one would be ecstatic to be presented as sentient being he wishes he was for once... Toby, what do you think?"
"Oh! Er, what she said," Toby said hurriedly, gesturing to Fluttershy. He hadn't been listening; his mind was too preoccupied on the night ahead of him.
Luna came by his home as the sun began to set that day. It wasn't a huge ordeal (partly because Toby was home alone, meaning there was no one else there to make it one), but Luna seemed to have a cheery attitude. They began their trip to the bowling alley immediately, with Luna leading the way.
Her attitude helped with Toby's nerves, which seemed to intensify by a thousand times since he had last seen her. Probably because he knew the uncomfortable truth.
It wasn't only the fact that he didn't want to ruin anything that made him anxious - he hadn't forgotten their differing anatomies. He would have never thought he'd be attracted to a pony; he would have considered it downright bestiality a couple weeks ago. Was it still the same if the pony in question was sentient?
"Toby, you're quiet this evening," Luna observed as they left the forest. "Is something wrong?"
"Me? No," Toby replied quickly.
Luna stopped and looked at him suspiciously. "Toby... you can tell me. I know that look - something's on your mind."
Toby gave her a hard look, then looked at the ground. "Fine. You got me - I'm just a little confused, that's all."
"Would you feel comfortable elaborating?" Luna asked, softening her gaze.
Toby forced himself to look into her eyes. "I'm - I'm just curious... we could have gone bowling together, yet we're going today. On Valentin- erm, Hearts and Hooves Day, of all days. Why?"
Luna's expression was completely neutral as she looked him in the eye. "I needed a friend to spend the evening with - I would have liked to spend time with you for longer, but Tia decided it would be fun to go on a small self-guided tour of Equestria to see what Hearts and Hooves was like in other places. On top of that, she has been pestering me to find my special somepony ever since we retired, and I was in dire need of a break as well as a friendly, unobtrusive friend."
"Oh," Toby replied. So she was trying to get away from the lovey-dovey stuff. Cool. "Won't there be couples spending the evening at the bowling alley, too?"
"Undoubtedly," Luna replied with a snort, "But they are none of my concern. Now, come, while the night is still young!!" She froze. "The moon - oh, horseapples, I almost forgot!!" Her horn lit up, and the celestial body of the night rose into the starry sky.
Despite his slight disappointment, Toby grinned slightly at her antics and followed his friend. It wasn't every day that you watched your friend casually raise the moon.
"AHA!! My score has been doubled!! " Luna cried gleefully as all of the pins in the lane had fallen victim to the lunar pony.
"... Again," Toby grumbled. "Seriously, how on Earth is it possible to bowl this good when you don't have any fingers??"
"I'm just a natural," Luna replied teasingly, sticking her tongue out. "Besides, what are fingers?"
"These," Toby answered, holding up his hands and wiggling them.
"Fascinating!! I would think they would give you an advantage, though," Luna quipped, bumping her flank against his side.
"I've n-never been one for sports, okay??" Toby stammered angrily, his face turning a deep cherry red. He stepped up to the ball return and collected his ball. Then, with all the concentration he could muster, he let loose his fury on the pins. He looked up, panting, and groaned as he only saw two meet their doom.
"You have another try, Toby," Luna pointed out. "For... redemption?"
"Har har," Toby grunted as he waited for his ball to return. After he had grabbed it from the machine, he half halfheartedly rolled it towards the pins. He then turned to go back to his seat, not caring enough to watch.
"Oh!" Luna cried, her eyes transfixed on the lane. Toby looked around and found that he had achieved a spare. Luna wrapped him up in a hug and said, "Look at you! See? You can bowl!!"
"Okay, for the record, I still stink," Toby rasped, since he had barely enough air to speak in Luna's grasp. "It was pure luck, so stop being so ridiculous."
The game went on fro what seemed like an eternity, with Luna winning each frame unopposed. As Toby finished his last turn in the final frame, he looked around at Luna.
"What was my score?" he asked as he put up his ball. "Luna, did you hear me? Luna?"
Luna was clearly not paying attention; she was closely watching a young stallion and mare in the neighboring lane cuddle in their seat. She had a far off look in her eyes.
"LUNA!"
"What? Huh?" Luna gasped, clearly startled. "Wh-What was the question?"
"I wanted to know what my abysmal score was," Toby deadpanned. "Are you gonna tell me, or are you gonna start a magazine on 'Ponyville's Cutest Couples' ?"
"Your score was forty-three," Luna replied, blushing furiously.
"Mm-hm - and what was yours?" Toby replied, raising an eyebrow.
"One hundred and twelve."
"Hmm, a sixty-nine point win. Nice," Toby grunted. "I didn't know I had lost that bad. Adds insult to injury, doesn't it?"
"Oh, Toby," Luna replied, giving him a slight hug. "You'll hate me for saying this, but it's just a game."
"Not when you lose," Toby joked, earning a well-deserved cuff of the wing from Luna. "Should we leave?"
"I feel like three solid wins should suffice for now," Luna agreed in a mock-noble accent.
"Can it," Toby replied, rolling his eyes. "I get the point."
It was roughly eleven o'clock when the two left the alley, earlier than half of the couples present. It felt strange, being awake with Luna this late at night - he always saw her in his dreams, but almost never awake anymore.
It did not take the two of them long to leave town, and as they entered the Whitetail Wood they found themselves silently observing the dark scenery around them. It was strangely beautiful; normally Toby imagined a forest at night to be eerie and insidious, but instead the woods around them were full of life - crickets calling out for their long-awaited partners, owls hooting softly in the branches above, and the fireflies that gleamed like miniature stars of their own among the dark background.
As they walked, Toby recognized how he was now picking up on any small details about Luna - the way she walked, the way she beamed at his clever jokes, her tinkling laugh, her eyes when she talked about something she enjoyed, the earrings she wore that night that were barely noticeable...
Wait - she never wore earrings.
"Those are nice," he found himself saying, pointing to her ears.
Luna beamed, coming to a halt. "You noticed??"
"Well, yeah - er, I just happened to look that way..." Toby muttered. "They just looked pretty on you is all."
Despite the lack of light, Luna blushed deeply. "You - you think so...?"
It was as if a cascade of ice washed into his stomach. "W-Wait! I m-meant that they just looked good on you - crap, that's not wh-what I meant either - what I m-meant w-was... you know what? Never mind. Leave it to me to make a compliment sound weird."
His attempts to brush off the awkward moment did not go unnoticed. Luna gave him a queer look, opening her mouth several times to say something, but closed it again time after time as whatever she wanted to say died in her throat.
Finally, they reached the clearing in which his house resided. The two walked silently up to his front door, taking in as much of the night atmosphere as they could. Alas, it was clearly time to part ways.
"Well..." Toby yawned, reaching for the doorknob. "Thanks so much for taking me. It was fun to spend time with you, even though I lost so many times. Sleep well!" He smiled at her, and she seemed to hesitate for a moment. Toby, however, didn't wait for a response, and began to open the door. It was only halfway open before a blue aura halted its progress.
"Wait," Luna said in a strange tone. Toby turned around and noticed that she hadn't moved and inch.
"Is something wrong?" Toby asked.
"No - no!" Luna replied quickly. "It's just - just - did you mean what you said earlier?"
"Er - a-about the earring?" Toby stammered. "I mean, of course - they were pretty..."
"No - that's not what you said," Luna said, now with a strange expression. "You - y-you said they look pretty on me... do you think I'm pretty?"
"I - I don't -" Toby stuttered.
Luna quickly looked at the ground. "You didn't have to answer, I-I was j-just curious... I-I'll go..."
Toby's eyes widened. "N-No! Luna, I meant it!!"
Luna froze on the spot and looked up at him. "S-Serious?"
Toby nodded, gulping. He then looked away, feeling absolutely terrified. "I-I'm sorry, I just don't want m-my emotions to come between our friendship, and I-I don't want you to th-think differently of me, I just -"
A pair of fuzzy lips pressed up against his own, shutting him up wholly and completely. It was brief - only a couple seconds - but when Luna broke it off, it was clear she meant every millisecond of it.
"G-Goodnight, Tobias," Luna stammered giddily. "I shall see you tomorrow? I-If you want to, anyway, I don't m-mean to intrude!"
"Y-Yeah, th-that would be awesome," Toby replied in a weak, far-off voice.
Luna beamed, blushing even deeper (if that were even possible) and disappeared from view in a flash of light as she teleported away. Toby stared at the place where the mare had disappeared, and pinched himself.
Yep. Still awake.
Author's Note
TRIGGER WARNING!! This is the chapter where Christian themes become more prevalent, and will be seen throughout the rest of the story. They will NOT try to shove a religious message down your throat, but the uses will be pretty noticeable - so if you aren't religious, just try to ignore it if you can.
Don't say I didn't warn you, because I definitely did.
That being said and done, thank you so much for the support!!! I hope those of you who remained for this closing chapter enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I can't believe it was featured within the month of beginning it, and even more astounded at the support it has received since. May you all experience an overwhelming surplus of diggity in the years to come.
For those of you who are thinking that this ending is a bit abrupt, I know, I know. I have become severely unmotivated to write much of this, making the content slowly worsen as I write. So yeah... sorry. If someone wants to write a sequel or something, cool, just hit me up with your ideas first. I'm just at my dead point as far as the story goes.
Chapter 20
Toby could hardly sleep that night - did all of that really just happen?
All of a sudden, Luna seemed to share mutual feelings about him - or was that all a dream, an orchestration of his own mind? No - if that were a dream, chances were that it would have actually been Luna, since she could (and often did) visit his dreams. So... what did this mean?
He woke up early the morning after, unable to keep himself still. Luna said she wanted to come by later - whether she actually would, only time would tell. If the events of the night prior actually happened (which made sense logically), he would know within the next couple hours.
He had never been so nervous to see Luna in his entire life.
Luna had never been so nervous to see Toby in her life.
Moments after she had kissed him the night before, she was terrified that she had crossed a line. Broken his trust. Severed the ties to their friendship. Instead, she found herself astounded after the human blushed harder than she had ever seen him blush before - he felt the same way.
It was too good to be true. Even after she had told him weeks ago that she didn't love him... there was something about him that stuck with her. Something that drew her towards him, night after night. He just seemed to understand her in a way nopony else could, which was an outstanding thing to comprehend.
After Luna had left Toby the night before, she immediately departed by wing for Canterlot. She had probably waited too long for this, but something in her gut told her that it needed to be done. The journey was not long when traveling by alicorn wings, and within minutes the fair mountainside city came into view. She directed herself towards the castle. As far as she knew, Twilight was still in Ponyville, which meant that Spike was probably here alone to lead the interim court.
As she soared up to one of the balconies, she set herself down lightly onto the smooth marble. The guards stationed at the entrances recognized the ex-princess immediately, and granted her entrance into the castle.
How strange it was to be walking these halls when you no longer owned them - as familiar as they looked, they seemed so foreign to her now, as if to say, Why did you come back? She ignored these feelings, though - she had an appointment to make.
She entered the throne room and gazed towards the throne. It surprised her to see that Twilight was sitting there, writing something down on a long slip of parchment. The purple alicorn's eyes flickered up slightly, and she smiled as Luna approached.
"Luna! How can I help you?" she asked brightly as she rolled up the parchment in her magic aura, then teleported it away.
"I am here on an appointment?" Luna inquired. "One considering Tobias O'Leary - I thought you were still in Ponyville."
"I'll be there tomorrow; I'm having breakfast with my friends," Twilight replied. "So now, what about Toby were you here for...?"
"The book," Luna replied.
Twilight furrowed her brows briefly before her face lit up. "Oh! Right! The book! Do - Do you really think it was a good idea to keep it from him? It was found on his body when he first appeared here, so it's definitely his."
"I know... I almost forgot that I kept it from him," Luna replied nervously. "Back when I - you know - hated him... I feel like things needs to change."
"You're going to give it back to him?" Twilight asked with a hint of awe in her voice. "Man, you must be confident in how comfortable you think he is around you."
"I'm extremely nervous to how he will take it, actually," Luna answered sheepishly. "It was wrong of me to treat him in the way I did..."
"But you're sorry ," Twilight said consolingly, placing a hoof on Luna's withers. "I'm sure he'll believe you. Now, let's go, so you can give it to him in the morning tomorrow."
"I should have given it back to him long ago," Luna said bitterly as they began their descent into the lower levels of the castle.
"Has he ever brought it up?" Twilight asked curiously. "Did he ever asked where it was, or even tell you about it?"
Luna paused. "No... come to think of it, he never has - although once I did ask if he missed his belongings on his homeworld, but he claimed to miss nothing at all."
"Nothing?? " Twilight gasped. "It must have been bad..."
"I will go into no more detail than that - it's a sensitive topic," put in Luna simply. "He has enough troubles on his plate to last him a lifetime."
"He is healing, though, right?" Twilight asked nervously. "I mean, today I received a letter from Fluttershy telling me in his change of mood towards ponies."
"He is on the path, yes, but only time will tell," Luna sighed. "Besides..." A slight grin and blush crept up onto her face. "He is surrounded by ones who deeply care for him."
Twilight gave the lunar mare a strange look, but chose not to reply.
The two of them traveled through the winding corridors with ease. Luna knew where they were heading - to the lab in the Royal Archives, where specialists examined anything from ancient documents to recent newspaper headlines that would be saved for future reference. It was one of the most fascinating places in the castle.
They rounded a corner, and a large pair of doors made from a golden alloy loomed into view. Luna knew it was heavily protected, however - there was a magical seal of security on the door, one only a princess or somepony who wore an Identification Amulet could pass through. Twilight lifted the barrier briefly so Luna could enter.
Tables lined the room in the chamber beyond, with papers, maps, documents, and books of all sorts lay scattered across the tables. There were only two ponies present; both were hunched over a book on the far side of the room, muttering to one another. When they heard the approaching company, they turned and bowed.
"Princess Twilight," said the one on the left, a stallion with a tan coat and blonde mane. A pair of large, circular glasses rested on his muzzle. "How can we help you?"
"Greetings, Dr. Glass and Dr. Whinny - Luna is here to extract a book that was found on - er - an anomaly several months ago," Twilight announced casting a look at Luna that said, no offense .
The mare on the right - Dr. Whinny - straightened up. She had a light lavender coat and a white mane, with a pencil resting on her tight ear. "You mean the alien literature, your highness? We haven't finished examining it..."
"Well, what have you accomplished so far?" Twilight asked, and Dr. Glass beckoned her to the table.
"Quite a bit, actually, the translation spell proved quite useful, your highness," Dr. Glass said appraisingly, straightening his glasses. "We've been able to read through it, and some of this stuff is pretty deep - no doubt written by some kind of philosopher."
"A human philosopher?" Twilight asked curiously. When the two specialists gave her a questioning look, she added, "Toby is from a species called 'humans'."
Luna looked down at the soft leather cover of the book. She read the large gold words on the front cover.
Holy Bible
"What are the contents of this book?" Luna asked inquisitively.
"From what we guessed, a bunch of human fairy tales," Dr. Whinny sighed. "There are a lot of crazy stories in there - most of them seem to use magic of some sort, but..." She shuddered. "Something about them gives me these strange chills."
"How much have you read?" Twilight asked.
"We've read it cover to cover," Dr. Glass replied. "Unfortunately, we have made little progress as far as interpretation - perhaps this Toby fellow could help?"
"I can try to send reports if he obliges," Luna offered. "It belongs to him anyway - he should know what it means."
"Can you at least summarize it for us?" Twilight asked brightly.
Dr. Glass and Dr. Whinny exchanged a look that seemed to say, Oh crud. The whole thing?
Dr. Glass cleared his throat. "Erm... are you sure? It's kind of... long. The timeline in the book spans thousands of years, with hundreds of different little stories. Hay, there's even several incredibly long chapters that are purely poetic!"
"Interesting," Luna hummed, but Twilight frowned.
"That's it? Surely you can summarize that," she grunted.
"Perhaps you would like to read it yourself, your highness," Dr. Whinny bowed. Luna giggled at the slight display of sarcasm.
"Maybe I will!" Twilight huffed, but Luna placed a wing on her withers.
"This doesn't belong to us, remember?" she said smoothly. "I thought you cared about Toby's interests."
"... Fine," Twilight sighed. "Do you think he could read it to us, at least?"
"If your royal schedule permits it," Luna chuckled.
"Okay, okay - let's get his book back to him," Twilight replied, levitating it over to Luna. "Thank you, Dr. Glass - Dr. Whinny."
The two specialists bowed them out of the chamber. The two friends made their goodbyes and parted ways, Luna with the book in her possession.
"Say, while we're here on Toby's account..." Twilight said as they walked down the corridor beyond. "Do you remember Clarity?"
"The guard stationed at the dungeons that immensely cared for Toby's well-being?" Luna responded. "Of course I remember her - is she well? Is she aware of Toby's - er, existence?"
"As far as I know, she's aware of the rumors going around of a tall ape-like creature in Ponyville," Twilight said simply. "Beyond that, I don't know. She may still think that he's dead."
Luna was literally shaking. Would he push her away? Would he get mad?
No - that was silly. He definitely had a crush on her, it had been clear since they had started bowling. If she hadn't been one hundred percent convinced that Toby had a crush on her, she wouldn't have kissed him. Still, it seemed impossible to predict the outcome of the situation she was putting herself in.
The sun was just above the horizon, bathing the land in a pink and orange glow - but even beholding the wonderful distraction of a beautiful sunrise wasn't enough to still her nerves.
She tried to keep her thoughts rational as she approached Toby's front door. Would he turn her away? Would all that time spent earning his trust have been for nothing? On top of that, this was the first time she had seen him since she kissed him...
Mustering all the confidence she could, she strode up the front steps and rapped smartly on the door. A large THUD resonated from beyond, but after that everything fell quiet.
A minute passed by, and there was no sign of him. Was he avoiding her, or just up and at 'em early today?
The door was suddenly pulled open, making her jump, revealing a very red-faced Toby. The two of them locked eyes for a second, then simultaneously looked away, feeling thoroughly embarrassed.
"Er - hi," both of them murmured shyly, perfectly at the same time. They both looked at one another in surprise.
"I'm sorry," they both said again. Again, at the same time. "No, go ahead... how is this happening??? "
They both held eye contact for a long moment before bursting out into laughter. Toby leaned against the doorway while Luna used the railing on the front porch to support her, and both of them were blushing profusely.
"Good morning, Luna," Toby sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. "I can't say that that's ever happened to me before."
"Neither can I," Luna chuckled. "May I come in?"
"Sure, I guess," Toby replied, scratching his head. "Fluttershy won't be along for a little bit, so I have nothing to eat. Is that alright?"
Luna nodded, and Toby stepped aside to allow her in. Her eyes fell on Pacificae, who was sleeping peacefully on the mantle next to the fireplace, which glowed with old embers.
"Oh, she's so cute," Luna squeaked, watching the jackalope's form slightly rise and fall as it slept. "Is she aware of our - erm - excursion last night?"
Toby turned a deep cherry red. "Th-That happened, then?? It wasn't a dream??"
Luna looked down to one side bashfully. "N-No, it wasn't - is that alright w-with you?"
Toby stared at her as if he could hardly believe it. "I - I - yeah..."
Luna grinned nervously and levitated a chair over to the fire. "Do you mind if I sit over here?"
Toby shook his head. "I can get a fire going, too, if you want."
"That would be lovely," Luna replied with a soft smile.
Toby smiled at her, then disappeared out the door. Luna watched Pacificae while she waited for the human to return, slowly studying the steady rhythm of her breaths as well as the peaceful expression on her muzzle. Could jackalopes dream? She knew Pacificae had a certain level of sentience, so she probably could.
Toby returned minutes later with his arms full of chopped wood. He placed them precariously in the fireplace, then retreated to his bed, muttering something about matches.
Luna grinned as he rummaged about, and lit up her horn. The fireplace in front of her instantly blazed to life. Toby froze.
"Did... you do that?"
"I did," Luna replied casually.
"Wish I had magic," Toby added wistfully, pulling a chair over next to Luna. "I could've fixed so many things - heck, I could have prevented so many things..."
"Are you feeling alright?" Luna asked as a concerned frown formed on her face. "Are you still feeling messed up from...?"
"Not a day goes by that I don't," Toby sighed. "I feel a lot better now that I know I'm not alone anymore, but... it doesn't go away - I still have all these painful regrets - no matter how much I forgive myself, Luna, those who I've killed won't do the same. Neither will those I let die..."
"Is there anything I can do?" asked Luna in a worried tone.
"I - don't know," Toby sighed. "To be honest, I feel like I'm fine as far as support goes - but I still feel empty, I guess, like a glass that will always feel only partially full."
"Well - if you're sure," Luna said softly, "I won't push it. Besides, you'll come to me if you have any troubles, right?"
"Right," Toby agreed. He then suddenly blushed. "Also, speaking of which... something is kinda bugging me..."
"O-Oh," Luna replied in what she hoped was a calm tone. She knew this moment would come. "Do you want to - to talk about it?"
"Er - y-yeah, actually," Toby stammered. "About last night... why?"
Luna felt her face burn like it had never burned before. "Wh-What do you mean?"
"You kissed me," Toby put bluntly. His face was entirely red now. "Wh-Why? I thought you said you didn't... you know..."
Luna sighed. "Toby, do - do you promise to c-continue being my friend after what I have to say?"
"Of course," Toby replied nervously. "You can tell me."
Luna inhaled very deeply, trying to calm all the screaming nerves inside her. Finally, she said, "To be honest, Toby - I think I really do love you... when you asked me back in the dreamscape if I did then, I thought I was right. I thought I was just using something I didn't really understand to explain my destructive behaviors - but as I began to spend every night with you, saving you from your tortured past being reflected in your nightmares, I realized that you were genuine.
"We had so much in common! I soon became attracted to all the little things - your jokes, your laugh, the way you care for others, your intelligence - I couldn't help it after you complimented my earrings..." She faltered off into an embarrassed silence.
Toby's mouth hung open. He made to speak, but the words died in his throat every time he tried. Finally, he muttered, "I - I was definitely not expecting that..."
Luna chuckled nervously for a second, then fell back into an uneasy silence. "Did - d-did you not like it? The kiss?"
Toby stared back at her. "Well... it's not every day you get kissed by a pony - but for what it's worth... yes, I mean - I l-liked it..."
Luna blushed deeply, and the two of them sat in an immensely awkward silence for the longest time. They would occasionally steal a glance at one another, but both were to busy shaking with nervousness and blushing to say anything. Finally, after about ten minutes in this cycle, Toby broke it.
"So... what are we?"
Luna looked at him intently for a moment, then began to giggle. That giggle quickly turned into a chortle, and before long she was bellowing with laughter. Toby had no idea what kind of meaning this bared, but decided to laugh along anyway.
"I-I don't know," Luna sighed as she began to calm down. "It depends on how we both f-feel, I guess..."
"What do you feel, then?" Toby asked. "I mean, it's not like this could get any more awkward, right?"
"I suppose..." Luna replied nervously, twirling a strand of her mane around her hoof. "I... if I'm being completely honest with you, I would suggest we give it a try... but only if it's one hundred percent mutual..."
Toby felt his muscles turn to stone. This was it - the sort of scene he had been childishly playing out in his mind for the past two weeks - and it was now a reality. He mustered all of his remaining courage and looked Luna in the eye.
Drawing a deep breath, he said quietly, "I - I think it wouldn't hurt... I trust you..."
Next thing he knew, he was being wrapped up in the tightest, warmest hug he had ever received. Luna's chest heaved slightly with emotion. Toby could hear her heartbeat racing, something he could seriously relate to in that very moment.
When they broke the hug, he looked at the Lunar mare, very well aware of the fact that his face felt like it was oozing lava at that point. "So - is that's that? We're... dating now?"
Luna hesitated, then nodded, beaming and blushing.
Toby laughed nervously. "I-I'm glad that we're on the same page, then - I mean, groovy - that would have been really embarrassing if we weren't."
Luna laughed. "I agree. I for one would have been mortified."
"Yeah..." Toby said softly. In attempt to make things less awkward, he grinned at Luna, who grinned back. "What are your plans for today, then?"
Luna froze. "... Funny you asked... was there anything you remember having on you when you first came to Equestria?"
"No," Toby said blankly. "Should I?"
"I don't know," Luna replied, now feeling very confused. "We found a book on your body when you first came here, but we examined it. It seems to be some sort of book full of tall tales."
"I don't remember having a book full of stories," Toby said blankly again. "Can I see it? Do you know where it is?"
"I have it with me - I felt that it should find its way back into the hands of its owner," Luna replied, opening the saddlebag she had brought along that rested against a leg on her chair. She handled the book with extreme care as she pulled it out, as if it could shatter in the slightest breeze. She set it gently on Toby's lap, biting her lip nervously.
His expression was close to unreadable - he had this look in his eyes that seemed to prove that he could hardly believe what he was seeing. Despite this, they glinted slightly with a look of betrayal.
"Toby...?" Luna asked meekly.
In one swift motion, Toby leaped to his feet and hurled the book to a far corner of the room. It collided with the wall, then fell down to the ground with a dull and saddening plop .
"I don't know how, or why , but I don't need it," Toby grunted. "It hasn't done me any favors."
"Did you have to throw it, though?" Luna asked, a bit taken aback by his actions. "It's merely a storybook!!"
"No, it isn't," Toby replied, and sighed as he slumped down into his chair. "It's hard to explain, but the meaning of it is intended to represent things that are beyond simple stories - even though that's all they are - stories ." His tone sounded hurt, but in a very complicated way - it was a mixture of confusion, bitterness, spite, contempt, and even forlornness.
"What do you mean?" Luna asked. "I'm afraid I don't follow."
Toby sighed, then looked into her eyes. "Have you ever participated in a religion of any sort during your life?"
Luna shrugged. "Such a thing was discouraged during my time as a royal... sister was too preoccupied with running the country in my absence to dabble in such things. Is this book a religious book??"
"It's one-hundred percent religious," Toby replied, casting the book a nasty look. "Allow me to explain - this book is the holy text for a religion back on my world called 'Christianity'. I used to be a Christian myself - the belief was that there was one divine power that created everything and everyone, but despite all that power he humbled himself to bring us back when we went astray."
"Come again?" Luna asked blankly.
Toby groaned. "Fine. So basically, this power - we call him God - supposedly created each one of us to be special in our own way. The religion claims that he loves us more than we could possibly imagine, and therefore sent a flesh-incarnation of himself to Earth to die for us - apparently that allows us to get into Heaven now."
"So these Christians believe in Heaven, then?" Luna asked with genuine curiosity. "Interesting - does Christianity have any requirements for getting into Heaven?"
"A lot, from what I know," Toby grunted, resting his cheeks on the palms of his hands. "There's a list of commandments, telling you what you shouldn't do, but I know I've broken every single one anyway. It's complicated."
"Ah - I see," Luna replied, giving him a strange look. "You seem bitter - were you a Christian once?"
"Yes," Toby answered sourly. "But I soon learned that none of it was true - I mean, if God loved me so much, he wouldn't have let Vietnam ruin my life. He wouldn't have let my friends die - he wouldn't have let my family and old flame turn on me!!!" He slammed a fist onto his knee, gritting his teeth. His vision was full of red.
Luna cast the book in the corner a wary look. "Toby, I'm sorry you feel this way - and I can take the book away if you want."
"Do whatever you please," Toby replied in a grumpy tone. "It doesn't bother me. Also, it's called a Bible - even though it is just a book."
There was a very tense moment of silence during which Toby stared morosely at the floor.
"Would some fresh air help?" Luna asked. "The sun has risen, I'm sure there will be a couple cafes we could visit."
Toby smiled slightly and looked up at her. "Yeah - I would like that. Maybe I'll see Twilight, too - is today the day she leaves for Canterlot?"
Luna nodded. "She has been in Canterlot for some time, apparently. She'll be here today, though - why do you ask?"
"I still need to apologize," Toby replied, heading for the door.
Ponyville seemed brighter than usual that morning to Twilight. After walking through the town half-a-million times, one would think that it would be old news - but something was definitely different. Even the very air smelled of change; whether it was good or bad had yet to be discovered.
She had a good feeling about that weird morning after she had congregated with her friends at Sugarcube Corner for an unofficial sendoff breakfast. After today, she would be staying in Canterlot indefinitely, with no visits. With everything that had been going on recently, she had a lot to catch up on - Spike could only do so much.
When she arrived at Sugarcube Corner, she immediately scanned the mostly-empty room for her friends, who could be seen waving her over to a window-side booth.
"Pinkie, has your Pinkie-Sense gone off for any reason?" Twilight asked as she took her seat with her friends.
"That's a weird question ta start off with," Applejack commented, raising an eyebrow.
"Nopety-nope!!" chirped Pinkie, who was the only one who wasn't seated. "Why do you ask?"
"Something about this morning seemed really off, but I can't put my hoof on it," Twilight replied. "Am I the only one that feels this way?"
"I felt it too, darling," Rarity agreed. "Something seemed very... oh, what's the word?"
"Different?" Rainbow suggested.
"No, more than different, but you get what I'm trying to say, right, Twilight??" Rarity continued.
Twilight nodded, and Fluttershy smiled at her. "My animals were a bit rowdier than they usually are, but that was the only thing for me."
"Hmm..." Twilight sighed, looking at the table. "It just worries me, I guess."
"C'mon, no need to let it ruin our time together, sugarcube," Applejack said with a hint of indignation. "If somethin' happens, we'll deal with it. Like we always do!"
"You're right, I'm being silly," Twilight giggled nervously. "Pinkie, what have you got for us today?"
"Whatever you'd like, silly!!" Pinkie squeaked. "Oh-oh-oh!! The Triple Fudge Raspberry Cake Pop Supreme is really good - it's a new flavor!!"
"I'm in," Rainbow responded almost immediately, licking her chops.
Pinkie hopped up and clicked her hooves together. "I'll go tell Mrs. Cake right away!!"
Twilight subconsciously tapped a hoof on the table, her eyes drifted towards the door. When she saw the two figures walking towards the door, she recoiled in surprise.
Toby pushed open the door with a tired but bright look in his eye. Luna was at his side, looking beside herself with happiness. There was an odd air of closeness between the two, more so than before. She found her eyes flicking towards Rainbow Dash, who also had seemed to notice the newcomers. Her face had gone extremely pale as her eyes seemed to be looking for a hiding place.
"Rainbow -" Twilight began, but a pair of footsteps sounded off to her right. To her horror, she looked around to see Toby standing there. His eyes were fixed on Rainbow Dash, who was now starting to sweat.
"Uh - Toby!! What a surprise!!" Twilight said in desperation, trying to avoid the inevitable confrontation. "How are you today?"
"Better than I have been," Toby replied calmly, not taking his eyes off of Rainbow. "Rainbow... do you need some water?"
His tone was not angry, nor aggressive in any sort of way. It was simply a normal tone.
"I- uh, I-" Rainbow stammered, and Toby's eyebrows rose slightly.
"Ah. I see now," he said quietly. Everyone stared at him, confused. He made eye contact with Rainbow and took a deep breath.
The words he said next seemed to pour life and opportunity into the room.
"Listen, Rainbow Dash... I forgive you."
Chapter updates from here on out will be few and far between, (maybe like a month or so between each chapter). I will bring this story to life again, mark my words.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. "Listen, Rainbow Dash... I forgive you."
A thick, disbelieving silence filled the air around them. The others in the bakery tried their best not to stare even though the drowning silence was affecting them too.
Rainbow's pupils swelled to full size in her eyes in disbelief. "You - y-you what...?"
"I forgive you." Toby grunted, as if he would have rather been anywhere else at the moment. "For... you know. What you did. In Canterlot."
There was another suffocating silence.
"Wait... does that mean...?" Twilight murmured after a very tense moment.
"It only means that I'm forgiving her for what she did to me," Toby huffed. "Nothing more than that. I'm still hurt by it, moron. I definitely don't like Rainbow in the slightest." He made eye contact with the pegasus and sighed. "But still... I forgive you for what you did. You're a downright mess, and holding a grudge would make it worse. Besides, I can tell you regret it. I don't want anyone to suffer because of me."
Everyone looked extremely shocked. Twilight looked slightly miffed on top of that, but that was probably because of the fact that he called her a moron a couple moments ago. Luna slowly extended a wing towards Toby's back and stroked it calmingly. She looked very unnerved by his last comment.
"No one here is suffering because of you," a small, soft voice spoke suddenly. All eyes moved to Fluttershy, who was glaring slightly at Toby. "Don't say that."
"That's good to hear," Toby chuckled, but Luna could instantly tell that it was forced. She could also see that Toby did not believe Fluttershy in the slightest.
"Toby... I'm really proud of you for doing this..." Twilight sighed, a warm smile forming on her face. "I think that it's a really good look into who you are as a pony."
"I'm not a pony, Twilight."
"Oh! Right - sorry." Twilight instantly replied with a nervous giggle.
Toby smiled weakly. "No worries. Also... before you go back to Canterlot, Twilight, I need to talk to you. Could we find somewhere more private?"
"Eh? This is kind of sudden," Twilight replied, clearly caught off guard. "Yeah. Want to go outside?"
"Ooooooh, they're taking this outSIDE!!" Pinkie said in a gruff voice, mimicking a very tough masculine accent. Everyone burst out into laughter except for Twilight, who rolled her eyes.
"Oh, Pinkie. Alright Toby, let's go."
Toby nodded and followed the purple princess outside, where they took a seat at a table in the shade across the street.
"So! What did you want to talk to me about?" Twilight asked, looking pleasantly curious.
Toby swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Listen, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Twilight asked, confused.
"For what I did after Canterlot was attacked," Toby replied in a monotonous tone. "You know when I - when I jumped."
"Oh..." Twilight said quietly.
"I didn't think it would cause that much pain. I'm not even sure how it did, honestly," Toby explained. "I was so ready for an escape - or for it all to be over, I'm not sure which."
"Toby..." Twilight said in a shaky voice. She was clearly trying to keep a neutral face in public, but Toby could tell that her emotions were putting up a heck of a fight. "Why? Why would you do that? First you tried to strangle yourself in your own cell, then you jumped - why do you want to die...?"
Toby felt an enormous amount of guilt swell up in his chest. "Listen, I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. I never meant for any of it to happen."
"Answer the question!!" Twilight cried, drawing looks from passerby.
Toby looked down at his lap. "I... can't."
"Toby!" Twilight snapped. "Please!"
"I don't know," Toby said in a very low tone. "Please, stop asking me. I don't know."
Twilight backed off immediately seeing the expression on his face. Her look was a mixture of urgency, disbelief, and distress.
"Okay..." she replied softly. Her voice quavered. "I'm just worried, you know."
"You don't need to," Toby insisted. "Please. You have a responsibility. I know you care, but please don't let me get in the way of your royal-"
"You're my friend," Twilight interrupted bluntly. "I will never, ever stop worrying about you. Okay?" She ended the statement by bringing the human in for a hug. He responded well, hugging her back.
When they let each other go, Toby sighed. "Do you at least accept my apology?"
Twilight smiled. "Of course. Let's go back to the others, okay? They might be worried."
The two of them headed back into Sugarcube Corner, where they were delighted to find that their friends did not appeared worried at all. The only exception was Luna, who eyed Toby worriedly as they rejoined the group.
"How did it go?" she asked quietly, ignoring the pie in the face Applejack had just received from Pinkie in the background.
"Well, I think," Toby replied with a smile. "She was receptive to the apology, at least."
"Okay, I'm glad!" Luna remarked, followed with an affectionate nuzzle on Toby's cheek. This did not go unnoticed.
"Oh-HO!" Rarity exclaimed, drawing the attention to her. "What do we have here? You two seem unusually close."
Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash looked rather confused, since they were mostly unaware of the happenings between Toby and Luna. As far as they knew, the two still disliked each other.
Toby and Luna both turned a bright red in unison. They avoided the eyes of the others as they stammered nervously.
"Um, is it alright for me to say?" Fluttershy squeaked.
Toby raised his face to the group before saying, "Luna and I are dating now. So yeah."
"WHAAAAAT!!?? "
"Shhh!! Don't be so loud!!" Toby yelped. Luna simply giggled.
"I don't see a problem with telling them," she said sheepishly.
Rarity squealed. "Oh my goodness, congratulations!!! How about a trip to the spa, on me?"
"It's not like we're getting engaged right now!!" Toby stammered.
"We need time before we do that!" Luna said cheerfully, making Toby turn the deepest shade of red. The group 'aww'ed at this.
"I insist!" Rarity declared. "After all, Toby, I daresay you deserve the relaxation!!"
The group all hummed in agreement (including Rainbow Dash), ignoring Toby's babbling protests. Before he knew it, he was being tugged outside by Luna's magic as they (accompanied by Rarity and Fluttershy) began making their way towards the spa.
Until they were interrupted, that is.
The spa building had just come into view around the corner when Toby heard an immensely familiar voice.
A voice he had not heard since jumping off that cliff. And it was pissed .
"TOBY O-BUCKING-LEARY, YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!! "
Author's Note
Thank you for all the support in the comments!! I've been going through a really rough patch in my life right now, so it's always nice to see the praise and constructive criticism in the comments. It tells me that you guys dig it, which keeps me going.
I apologize for the delays. This story will be completed, but slowly.
"YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!"
"Uh oh," Toby murmured before feeling something blunt knock him in the back of the head. The momentum it carried sent him to the road, but he quickly got to his feet, turned around, and found himself glaring at another glaring face.
Clarity's glaring face.
"Clar-?" Toby began, but she punched in in the face before he could finish. Once again he hit the ground. This time his nose felt... off. Something very warm was coming from it.
Toby lifted his hand to see that it was shining crimson with his blood.
"Oh, heh... blood."
He then immediately passed out.
Toby groaned. He had an awful headache. What just happened? Was he unconscious? He tried to sit up, but someone - no, somepony - hurried over and gently pushed him down.
"No, you must relax ," said a female tone in an accent Toby couldn't recognize. "Your head is probably very delicate at the moment, so you must remain still. Don't remove the cucumbers from your eyes. Don't worry, the facemask you have is supposed to help remedy that! It's an infusion of -"
"Not to be rude, but where the hell am I?" Toby grunted. "How did I get here?"
"Why - you are at the spa," the mare said. "Luna, Rarity, and Fluttershy all came in with you."
"I don't ever remember entering this place," Toby argued.
"That was because you were unconscious. Are you feeling any better?"
"WAIT, WHY DID YOU LET AN UNCONSCIOUS -"
"Toobyyyyyy!!" rang the voice of Luna. "Are you alright? I heard you shouting!"
"Yeah, I'm peachy," Toby replied as everything came flooding back to him. Clarity punched him in the face. He had probably been carried here by Luna, if not one of the other two.
"Oh my goodness!" said the voice of Fluttershy as she and Rarity appeared just behind Luna. "How are you feeling?"
"A bit of a headache, but other than that I'm fine," Toby answered sheepishly.
"Let me help you, then," Luna offered, lighting up her horn. Toby nodded in consent and felt the pain in his head disappear with a faint pop .
"Oh, that's better," Toby sighed in relief.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Rarity asked nervously, eyeing Toby's forehead with anxious eyes.
"Yeah...?" Toby grunted. "Why?" He placed a hand to his forehead and winced. It was heavily bruised.
"That pegasus guard hit you hard..." Fluttershy said softly. "Do you know her?"
Toby froze. The image of Clarity's face swam into view and caused a lump of guilt to swell up in his throat, but was soon replaced with anger. Something about her just royally pissed him off at the moment.
"...No. I have no clue who she is," Toby replied in what he hoped was a convincing tone. Luna stared at him in shock, and he remembered that she already knew about Clarity. Before Luna could say anything, Toby shot her a warning look. His marefriend instantly caught on and kept her mouth shut, but still looked slightly taken aback.
"You can press charges then," Rarity urged him. "No - you should press charges, especially since you don't know her!!"
"I'll pass," Toby deadpanned. "I've had enough time dealing with pony-politics... no offense," he quickly added with an apologetic look at Luna.
Luna looked down at the floor, and Toby knew instantly that she still felt guilt about their first encounters with one another. He reached over to her and stroked her head, which melted her anxious looks away in the blink of an eye. She closed her eyes and grinned, soaking up the affection.
Fluttershy blushed at this while Rarity giggled, bringing the two lovers back to reality. Both of them turned a bright tomato color and turned away.
"Er... so let's start with this - this spa stuff!" Toby stammered through his own embarrassment, and got to his feet. He then noticed that two nearly identical looking spa-ponies stepped forward, one of them being the one who Toby met after waking up.
The next hour turned out to be very bizarre yet oddly relaxing. Toby had never received a proper massage before, so it was a little painful to begin. However, as he felt his muscles loosen over time the experience became strangely enjoyable. He never thought he would of liked the touch of a hoof this much.
Author's note: that's what she said.
The best part of it all hands down was the jacuzzi-bath-whatchamacallit. It felt so nice to simply float there in the sparkling water. The heat of it seemed to waft all the stress out of every orifice, even if it was only temporary.
"Man, that was a treat. Thank you very much, Rarity!" Toby said contentedly as the four of them left the building. "I had no idea I could be so tense."
"I think you needed it," Luna said quietly, nuzzling his cheek.
"Oh? You think so?" Toby replied cheerfully. As he looked ahead of them he saw Clarity standing in the middle of the street, looking like she was waiting for someone. He knew who she was waiting for.
Inevitably, Clarity spotted the group. Rather than getting angry this time, she smiled and trotted over to the group. Toby felt the smile slide right off of his face. What the hell did she want, especially after punching him? He scowled.
"H-Hey, Toby..." Clarity said with a nervous smile as she approached.
Toby simply walked past her without giving a single acknowledgement of her presence. She stood in place for a moment, too shocked and perplexed to act.
She whirled around. "Toby! Helloooo? I know you heard me!" Clarity cried out, but Toby kept walking forward. Rarity and Fluttershy shot one another a mixed look of surprise, confusion, and suspicion. Luna, who was also stunned by Toby's behavior, came to her senses and cantered over to his side.
"Toby - that was rude!" she scolded, but Toby remained expressionless.
"Toby!!" cried Clarity, who had started to follow them. "Why are you ignoring me?"
"Toby, you are acting like a fool," Luna pleaded. "What has she done?"
Toby still gave no reply. He turned off the road and began making his way down the path that led to his homestead. Luna fell silent, watching her loved one with irritation and concern.
He reached his home after a very tense walk, much to Luna's dismay. The silence was suffocating. Clarity had not given up, and had followed the pair all the way to Toby's home. She looked at the comfortable home and gave a weak smile.
"Is - Is this your home, Toby?" she asked in a brave tone. Toby still gave no reply as he fiddled with the front door.
Luna frowned, gritting her teeth. "Toby - if you are going to just act like this, I'm going to come back when you've settled down." She turned around and began to leave. Toby opened his mouth, realizing his mistake, but it was too late. Luna had already retreated back down the hill, leaving himself and Clarity alone.
Clarity cleared her throat nervously. "Er - so you two seem rather close..."
Toby gritted his teeth. One more word out of her mouth...
"Toby... please stop ignoring me," Clarity huffed. "If you're mad at me for punching you I'm sorry, but you have to realize what you've put me through -"
"Took you until just now to apologize, eh?" Toby said, his voice quavering with anger.
Clarity recoiled, not knowing how to reply for a moment. She then said quietly, "I'm your friend, aren't I? Right...?"
Toby turned to face her with a scathing look as he opened his front door.
"Go to hell," he replied before slamming the door shut behind him.
Author's Note
So! Another long-awaited update to this dramatic tale!
I figure I should give an update for myself as well. Balancing work and school is extremely hard for me right now, on top of legitimately suffering mentally on the daily (I know, cliché). I am doing my best to give you guys quality content to read regardless, even if that means taking longer to write chapters. Suicidal thoughts are the norm now, among other things, so finding time and mental fortitude to write this has been rough.
Anyhoo! Sorry for the dark update, but as always thank you for the amazing support for this story! I love you all!
Toby was at a loss of what to do. The events from the day before all came together and jumbled into a large, confusing mess inside of his head. What started as a simple spa trip ended up turning into something that was threatening to become a nightmare. He admitted to himself that he needed a day by himself to process, so he stayed home.
He had heard nothing from Luna, which made him a bit hesitant and worried. Horrible scenarios played themselves over inside of his head, making his thoughts about the matter turn sour. He had not expected his girlfriend (or marefriend?) to simply just turn on him like that. In all fairness, he was very rude to Clarity. Luna shouldn't of gotten upset on her behalf, right?
Toby lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Clarity. Just the thought of her made him angry, but why? Something about pummeling him in the side of the head the day before had set him off, although he wasn't sure why. He was always a person who highly valued physical touch; did that just mean he would get more butthurt when someone hit him?
It took her a long time to apologize for hitting him, too. Even still, it sounded half-assed beyond belief. Did she really want to hurt him? After all that time caring for him when he was thrown into the dungeons, just to do that?
A picture flashed into his head that made a hot pang of guilt rise into his throat. He was standing on the edge of a half-ruined Canterlot, preparing to jump down the waterfall. The expression on Clarity's face at that moment, when she realized what he was going to do...
Why am I so stupid? Toby thought to himself, groaning. The noise caught the attention of Pacificae, who was relaxing by the fireplace on a rug made for them by Rarity.
She sat up and chirped, cocking her head to the side.
"I'm fine," Toby replied quietly. "A lot happened."
Pacificae walked over and rested her head on the bedside. Toby placed his hand on her fuzzy head and began scratching the area behind her ears. She closed her eyes, thoroughly enjoying the feeling.
After some time had passed, Toby stretched. "I need to run into town to get some groceries. You want anything? Any particular kinds of food?
Peace chirped.
"Bananas and apples? That's simple," Toby said with a smile, and slowly got to his feet. "Anything else?"
Peace shook her head.
"Groovy. I'll be back in probably a half hour," Toby yawned as he shuffled over to the door. He slowly put his coat and scarf on and made his way into the frosty air outside. It was late March by now, and it was still frigid. The town had some sort of huge event planned soon that they called the "Winter Wrap-Up". Toby didn't feel like questioning their way of going about things in this world for obvious reasons. It didn't make a difference to anyone whether or not he understood.
There were more ponies out and about today than he expected. He pulled up his scarf a little higher. As he passed by, he started to notice that he was receiving an unusual amount of attention.
"Look, it's the monkey-thing Princess Twilight is friends with... wasn't it a 'hooman' or something like that?"
"Did you hear what he did to that guard mare? Apparently she did a lot for him, too."
"Sweet Celestia, he's a flankhole. I don't want my fillies around him..."
Toby quickened his pace, wishing they would stop. It had hardly been twenty four hours since all of it happened, how did word spread so fast? Not only that, but how were the ponies all viewing him as an asshole already when he had barely been known amongst them?
Much to his relief, he made it to the grocery store soon after. He wasted no time entering, hoping it would shelter him from the unnerving stares. It was much quieter in the store, aside from the soft music magically playing from the ceiling. He grabbed a basket and began to make his way towards the produce aisle. Patting his pocket, he realized with a sad lurch that he forgot his shopping list at home.
As he turned a corner, he almost collided with Rarity.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry," Toby apologized to the very startled mare. "I should have been more careful. Are you-"
"Yes, I would agree with you there," Rarity replied coldly. "I expected nothing less from you, after everything that's happened."
"Are you being serious or not?" Toby asked, feeling like he had just been punched in the stomach. "Are you joking right now? Rari-?"
"Don't talk to me, I have more important things to do," she answered curtly, and trotted off.
Toby fell into stunned silence. Yesterday, she had been excited to offer him a chance to relax. She was super warm and friendly. Something had changed between now and then. Did someone tell her about him saying "go to hell" in Clarity's face before leaving her on his front porch?
Why would they all alienate him so quickly, then? It all seemed so unfair. It was true he had been a jerk to her, but there was another side to it! Did no one else see her deck him in the middle of the road??
Or maybe they did... and didn't care.
Did I really just betray myself again? he thought. Just when I start putting my good faith in these ponies and things seem to start going well...
Toby shook his head. It was too early to be thinking about that. Ponies surely weren't that horrible, especially since he could already count the number of times they had shown him forgiveness on two hands. Maybe all of this would simply die down after a little bit, and everyone could be happy again.
...Right?
He grabbed the items Peace requested, then decided to get a cooking pot and a bunch of canned soup. No point in trying to remember what was on his shopping list, and he was low on money as well.
Money... he hadn't thought that far ahead. He needed a job. The provisional money Fluttershy had lent him was nice and all, but there was no way he was going to mooch. As if he needed another reason to decrease the public opinion of himself.
It was when he was at the checkout stand when he saw a sign on the wall that read:
Hiring Back-End Clerk Rate: 20 bits/hour Applicant must be able to do the following:
Toby read through the list of requirements and smiled. All of these were easy for him! Not only that, but they were paying 20 bits an hour!!!
The cashier totaled up his goods and said in a tired voice, "Thirty one bits. Would you like help with your groceries today?"
"No, I'll be fine thank you," Toby replied politely. "I actually have a question about the sign right there." He pointed to it.
The pony behind the counter's eyes followed along to the sign. He looked slightly skeptical. "You want to apply?"
"Yes please, I need work," Toby answered.
"Well normally we'd have you fill out an application, but the owner is in today," the pony sighed. He clearly did not want to be at work today. "I'll go grab her, make sure you keep your receipt with your groceries. Just wait over here a moment." He gestured to the area behind the counter before trotting off.
Minutes later he returned with a very tired looking unicorn mare. She had a green and brown mane that had a windswept look, and a very light green coat. She looked shocked when she saw him at first, but forced a smile.
"Corny here tells me you're interested in the Back-End Clerk position?" She asked in a very polite tone, though her voice was a much higher pitch than Toby anticipated. He nodded.
"Would you please come up to my office, then?" the mint-colored owner stated. "I'll conduct your interview and capability test there."
As Toby followed the owner into the back, he thought to himself What the heck is a capability test?
"Alrighty, you passed the interview part of it," the owner announced (who introduced herself as Minty at the beginning of the interview) as the two of the sat in her office. "Now we need to test you on your ability to physically meet the requirements of the job. This part is where everypony else has failed in the past."
Toby gulped. That must have meant that it was a very hard test.
"Alrighty, so first I'm going to ask you to demonstrate how to pick up that box full of paper right there," Minty began, pointing to a - surprise - box full of paper. "Keep in mind, it is fifty pounds."
"Sure thing!" Toby answered, and squatted down next to the box. He made sure to lift with his feet as he stood up.
Minty now looked slightly more energetic. "Oh, you made that look easy. I'm not really sure how your body works, but as long as you don't put any stress on your back when lifting heavy things we'll be good."
"Yeah, I use my legs to lift this stuff," Toby replied, carefully setting the box back down. It was really heavy, but not unbearable. "I worked at a grocery store when I was younger as a shelf stocker."
"Right! You mentioned that earlier," Minty chirped, suddenly looking like a caveman who had just discovered fire for the first time. "Alright - you're hired!"
"Wait - already?" Toby asked, pausing.
"Yep! Usually the physical part of the interview is longer because the ponies who apply have a hard time lift heavier things without magic. Even then, it's a little rare for a unicorn to be able to lift more than sixty pounds with their horn," Minty explained.
"What about those who can?" Toby asked.
"They wouldn't work at a grocery store because they can lift heavy things," Minty elaborated.
"Ah."
"Alrighty, so let me get your uniform real quickly..." Minty said in a muffled voice as she rummaged through a drawer. "Let's see... ah! Here we go!!"
She handed Toby an apron and a baseball cap with the store's logo on them. He gave a quick thanks.
"You have no idea how badly we needed the position filled," Minty groaned, resting her head on the desk. "I've had to do all the back end work myself, since there's nopony else capable of doing it. The ones who can obviously don't want a grocery store job."
"Well, that just makes both of us winners, eh?" Toby asked. "Thank you so much for taking me on, even though I'm not a pony."
Minty waved her hoof dismissively. "Princess Twilight put an end to all that stuff a while ago. Anycreature can work here, they have the right."
"I see... I still have a lot to learn," Toby remarked. "When is my first day?"
"How does Monday at 4:30AM sound?" Minty asked.
"I have no other plans, it works for me," Toby agreed. "I can deal with the early mornings."
"Great! See you then!!" Minty replied, looking very cheerful.
Toby's trip home was anything but smooth.
The number of ponies out and about was much greater now, and it seemed that everyone knew about his treatment of Clarity. To them it was clear that in their eyes Clarity had done nothing wrong. It was so one sided he could vomit.
He wasn't going to blame Clarity for it, despite what everyone else might think. She was not the kind of pony to spread rumors to hurt others. Especially not if she was trying to make up with him.
Speaking of which...
He caught sight of Clarity heading into the woods in the direction of his home. He made to follow her, but he was stopped by an orange hoof. He turned to see a glaring Applejack, whom he had never really held a conversation with before one-on-one. She wasn't alone however, and Pinkie Pie stood at her side. Even though Toby had never really interacted with Pinkie either, he knew that she was by far the friendliest pony around and that it was impossible to get into her bad books.
Or so he thought.
"What are ya doin', Toby?" Applejack asked angrily. "Why did you hafta treat Clarity like that? What in tarnation did she do??"
"She literally decked me in the middle of the road yesterday when there were better ways of showing frustration!" Toby said defensively. "Of course I was gonna get -"
"So that's how ya treat yer family, huh?" Applejack scathed.
"You're acting like the meaniest meanie to her!!" Pinkie joined in, causing Toby to look at her in shock. "You could have given her a chance, but you said reallyreallyreallyreally mean words to her!! You're a JERK."
"Now hold on, girls -"
"Poor Clarity, I'm glad she told us," Applejack said coldly. "It's good to know that yer a bad apple in the core. I had a hunch in the beginning."
"You aren't even gonna give me a chance to explain myself?" Toby said quietly, starting to shake with anger. "Who's being mean now? It's only been -"
"Why should you?" Pinkie snapped, causing many ponies around to cast frightened looks in their direction. "You've been so -"
"IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE DAY!!" Toby cried out. "IF YOU'RE TYING TO ROPE ME IN AND SET ME UP FOR ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING, JUST... leave me alone." He shrugged them off and walked away, ignoring their protests. He just wanted to get home with his groceries. The conversation had completely killed his good mood from getting a job.
Everyone just wanted to act like nothing was wrong with him. Even in the recent days, Luna seemed to have forgotten Toby's past completely. They all just wanted him to be fine with no problems. It seemed that way, at least. Perhaps they didn't really care about his own problems.
As he made his way into the clearing where his home was, he found Clarity waiting on the porch. She looked surprised to see him, and stood up quickly.
"Toby, I -"
"What are you doing here?" Toby asked.
Clarity recoiled. "I-I came again to see if you were home, to see i-if you were okay... I also j-just wanted to talk -"
"Listen, I'm fine," Toby sighed, massaging his temples. "Don't worry about me, alright? Also... I'm sorry for being really cold to you. Something about you punching me in the face as a greeting pisses me off."
"I-I have been thinking about that..." Clarity replied. "I realized th-that the public isn't l-like the Royal Guard... slapping or punching was a severe punishment for those who b-broke the rules... I was so scared, Toby, I thought you were dead! B-But when I saw that you were alive, I n-needed to see you... I-I'm so sorry for hitting you, I'm not used to being outside of the palace..."
"Clarity, I know you didn't want to hurt me seriously, and I really appreciate you apologizing," Toby said quietly. "I just - need some time."
"The ponies in town are being horrible right now, though..." Clarity pressed. "I know that this will affect you. Especially since you come into contact with them a lot..." Her eyes rested of the bags of groceries that Toby still held.
"I know, but... give me some time, okay?" Toby asked, giving Clarity a weak smile.
This simple gesture made the difference. Clarity's eyes widened and she bolted over to Toby, wrapping him up in a monstrous hug. She began to cry.
"Toby, oh thank you. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!" she bawled. Toby awkwardly patted her head, trying to fight back his own emotions. She really cared about him...
When she released him, she took a couple steps back. "I-I... will give you all the space you need. I'm not going anywhere though, alright? I'll always be there for you. Please remember that..."
"I will," Toby replied weakly. "Don't be a stranger."
Clarity beamed, sniffing. "Okay!"
"Don't worry about the other ponies, alright?" Toby continued. "I'll deal with it."
Clarity frowned. "It's just not fair to you... everyone except me is angry at you for being rude to me, isn't that ironic?"
"It really is, good grief," Toby sighed. "Besides, how does everyone else know what happened? There was a bunch of stuff that only happened when it was just you, Luna, and myself around."
Clarity paused. "You didn't know? Luna went and ranted about it to a bunch of ponies in the market when she went shopping."
Toby froze. No. She didn't actually do that, did she?
"Thank you for telling me," Toby replied. "I'm gonna go inside now. Bye."
"Be safe," Clarity said with a very concerned look.
Toby closed the door behind himself, set the groceries down, and slumped to the floor once again.
Luna was the reason everyone hated him now, apparently. His own marefriend.
His world became darker and darker. He hardly even noticed Peace coming up to him with concern. He looked at the jackalope and forced a smile.
"Peace, can you go get some of the firewood at the bottom of the hill? Here's the last of the bits we have, that should be enough."
Pacificae hesitated, but the nodded and took the pouch of coins that Toby had extended to her. She walked out the door when Toby opened it for her. As soon as she was out of sight, Toby opened one of the cupboards nearby and pulled out a roll of gauze. He then grabbed a kitchen knife from the table and sat down on the floor. He rolled up one of his pant legs until a good portion of his thigh was showing. Everything was black, and his emotions and thoughts swirled around him like a suffocating black cloud.
He pressed the blade of the knife to his thigh, inhaled, then sliced.
Author's Note
It's been months, I know. Things have been rough. However, I present to you a new addition to the story, one that I've been brewing up for a while. Enjoy!
Author's Note
ooga booga, a new chapter
Chapter 25
So Luna was talking crap about him.
Luna, out of everyone.
Toby's mind reeled in confusion as he sat on the floor next to the fireplace. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly, the light flickering in his eyes. He certainly didn't hate Clarity any more. Damn, he didn't even hate her to begin with. So what was up with all the attitude from everyone?? Was he not allowed to feel upset when he was mistreated?
Again, he wasn't mad at Clarity anymore. Whereas the memory of the punch stung a little, she obviously had meant well. He could picture himself beating up a good friend if they attempted suicide right in front of his eyes. The irony behind that made him smirk slightly, knowing full well that those types of things leave lasting damage.
So how did Luna tell everyone? Had she just paraded around town bellowing horrible things about him for everyone else to hear? It didn't seem like her. Not after everything they had been through.
An extremely dark thought crossed his mind. What if she was trying to get revenge? What if everything up until now had been a devious act in order to truly send him into a bind?
What if she wanted him dead...?
His new job started without a hitch. He didn't talk much, and he only focused on his work. It was nice, going to work so early. Not a soul was out in the frosty street, giving him some piece and quiet. There was simply so much work to do, however, and having him around made operating the store much more enjoyable for Minty. He often would attempt to stay at work until dark, despite her best efforts at convincing him to go home earlier. She could tell that the 11 hour days he had been working were taking a toll. Still, Toby couldn't bring himself to tell her about the situation, since it would only add to her stress.
Not only that, but he feared that there was a chance that he would lose his job if they treated him like the other ponies did.
It had been nearly five days since the incident, and Minty had finally put her hoof down and demanded that Toby take the next three days off and rest. He begrudgingly agreed. Now it had began to snow, bringing in February.
Peace was more than well aware of her best friend's uneasiness, but did not press the issue. She made sure to snuggle up to him whenever she sensed a particularly strong emotional disturbance.
Toby sighed. It was the second of three days he had off, and the snow was piling up. He made a point that morning to go get a shovel for the front porch, but Peace cleared the massive drifts in a matter of seconds. Now with nothing to do, he spent most of his time in front of the fire keeping warm.
He heard something land on the floor next to him, and looked down to see an apple next to his leg. Peace, who had dropped it there, nudged him gently and gave a soft coo.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry," Toby said with a smile, rolling it back at her. She stamped her foot in protest.
Toby groaned. "I appreciate it, but I don't feel hungry right now. So please don't."
Peace's ears drooped as she gave him a worried look. Toby smiled and patted her on the head, making her relax.
There was a sudden knock on the door that scared Toby out of his moment with Peace. He slowly got to his feet and answered it. To his surprise, it was Fluttershy.
"Toby, how are you?" she asked pleasantly, causing Toby's jaw to go slack. She had a small basket of goods with her.
"I - fine, I guess... what brings you here?" he replied, trying to look awake.
"I, um... brought some treats for you and Peace," she said quietly, looking back up at him. "If you'll take them, that is..."
"I - well, thank you," Toby stammered, taking the basket from her outstretched hoof. "I hope it wasn't too much trouble."
"Oh no, it was no trouble at all!!" she beamed, looking very pleased that he accepted her gift.
After an awkward moment, Toby stepped aside. "Would you like to come inside? I can put on some tea..."
Fluttershy smiled and accepted his invitation. Toby closed the door behind her and hastened to get a kettle over the fire. "All I have is some peppermint, is that alright with you?"
"I like any kind of tea," Fluttershy replied with a smile. Once Toby got the kettle situated, he joined her by the fire. Peace laid next to him and rested her head on his lap. His hand subconsciously drifted over and began petting her.
Fluttershy's smile did not linger, as she soon gave him a serious look. "Toby."
"Er - what?" he asked, feeling uneasy now.
"You haven't been seen for days," she said, frowning slightly. "You seem to be avoiding everypony..."
"Gee, why on earth would I do that?" Toby spat out sarcastically. "It's not as if I'm being thrown around emotionally like a bag of rocks every other week."
"I don't know why they get so defensive," Fluttershy said softly, looking at the floor. "I know what happened, but Clarity also told me everything."
"So - you aren't mad at me?" Toby asked, feeling slightly hopeful.
"I don't have any reason to be upset with you, Toby," she answered sympathetically. "You didn't do anything wrong, but the others seem to have something against you."
"What!?" Toby cried indignantly. "Why??"
"I'm not entirely sure..." she replied shyly, as if she was scared to talk about her friends in such a way. "I think... I think Applejack is already a bit against you because she seems to think that it was all your fault that Rainbow got in trouble after the interrogation. Rarity has always been really against rudeness, but I don't think she understands the situation as much as she thinks she does... actually, none of them do. They don't even - even know what you've had to go through..."
Fluttershy began to cry a little bit. Toby was at a loss for words.
"Y-You need us t-to support you b-but nopony else u-understands," Fluttershy sniffed, attempting to collect herself. "You need help..." she faded into silence, and the two of them spent a long, quiet moment staring at the fire.
"I'll be okay. I'll manage on my own," Toby replied quietly.
Fluttershy looked at him with alarm. "N-No! Toby, y-you can't! Y-You don't deserve to be alone!!"
Toby looked at her in wonder. Here was Fluttershy, undoubtedly the most shy and unintrusive personality he had ever seen, raising her voice and acting up for his sake. He couldn't help but smile as he reached out and hugged her. She seemed surprised at first that he initiated the contact, but accepted gladly.
"I'll be fine, Flutters," Toby said again.
"B-But-"
"You can visit me whenever, right?" Toby pressed. "Life isn't always fair. People like you - they give me hope. Hope that others take away. I need to stop blurring the lines between enemies and friends."
Fluttershy let go with an uneasy look on her face. "Toby, that's not what I-"
"By keeping myself around those who only prove to make my life hell, I'm only hurting myself," Toby sighed. "Almost every single pony I've had to deal with so far has given me an outstanding amount of trouble. Except for a select few. So I'm sort of done dealing with them."
"So you're avoiding us?" Fluttershy asked quietly.
"Well cripes, Flutters, that's complicated," Toby sighed. "Most of the time yes, but I'm never going to turn away a friend. Take you or Clarity, for example. You guys are probably the ones I trust most."
"Luna too," Fluttershy added, but Toby's expression became dark.
"Don't talk about her," he said coldly, looking away. "I don't even know anymore as far as she's concerned."
Fluttershy hesitated. "Toby, I-"
"Don't talk to me about her!!!!" he snapped, punching a wall. Fluttershy let out a squeak of terror and hid behind her mane while Peace just stared at Toby, dumbfounded.
A very long, tense moment passed.
Finally, Fluttershy broke the silence. "Um... thank you for your hospitality. I'm going to go now. Please take care of yourself."
Before Toby could muster a response she walked out the door, leaving him alone with Peace. The only thing that broke the silence was the howling of the tea kettle, which hadn't even been taken out of the fire yet.
A while earlier, after the spa trip...
Luna was frustrated. Maybe it was a little unfair for her to walk away from Toby like that, but she couldn't take anymore of that atmosphere. Why did Toby have such an extreme mood swing back there? Especially towards someone who cared immensely for him??
She didn't head towards the crystal castle where she was calling her temporary home; rather, she made a beeline for a small tavern on the edge of town. Despite its location and size, it was quite popular among the longtime locals. The beverages there were some of the best Luna had ever tasted, perfect for taking her mind off of things.
It was so unfair, the way Toby treated Clarity back there. In all fairness the punch to the face was unnecessary, but Luna had thought Toby would be much stronger than to blow her off like he did.
"Ah, Prince- er, I mean, Luna!!" the bartender croaked, an elderly stallion with a cream-yellow coat. "What can I do fer ya?"
"Aged Cherry Cider," Luna replied wearily. "Thank you." She took her seat at the end of the bar where it was empty. A very drunk stallion noticed her presence and stumbled over to her.
"Heyy, prrettyy (hic) ladyy," he slurred, nearly falling over before propping himself on the counter. "Cann I buy yoo a drinkk? Maybeee (hic) come to my place laterr?"
Luna shot him a look so cold that made him instantly cower on the spot. It seemed to turn the atmosphere in the bar to solid ice, and suddenly everypony felt very uneasy. She towered over the stallion with an unwavering gaze that ripped through his very soul.
"Scram," she said quietly. "I love someone else. If you so much as touch me I'll see to it that you won't wake up for the next month."
The stallion shuddered and stumbled away as quickly as he could. Luna realized that everypony's eyes were now on her, and buried her face in her hooves on the countertop. The bartender delivered her drink and leaned on the counter.
"You look like you've seen a wendigo," he chuckled. "Need a sounding board?"
Luna glanced up and saw him smiling at her as he began to dry off some of the glass cups. She sighed.
"I don't know what to do about my coltfriend... he's had a very unpleasant life, and even though we have similarities I feel as if we are so different..." she took a deep swig of her cider and smacked her lips. "He hasn't had an easy time ever since he came from - er - out of country."
"You're talking about the creature with you that appeared recently, right?" the bartender asked curiously. "What was it - a 'hooman' or something of the like?"
Luna looked shocked. "How do you know him?"
"It was big news when the ex-princess of the night was seen on a Hearts and Hooves date with him," the old stallion admitted. "His name started with a 'T', I think. Was it 'Tooba'?"
Luna blushed a deep crimson. "That's not the point!!"
"My apologies, lass. Please continue."
"Well... anyways," Luna sighed. "There are ponies like myself who came to care for him immensely. We were helping him heal, and right now he's improved almost completely since then!!"
"So what are you upset about, then?" the bartender asked. Luna took another deep swig of her cider and slammed the empty cup on the counter. A light blush was now cemented on her face, as the effects of the alcohol began to take hold.
"I'm upset because he can be such a spontaneous jerk!!" she shouted, catching the attention of everypony else in the bar once again. "He is so unfair to the ones who love him most! There was a guard who learned that he was alive after he was proclaimed dead, and she traveled all the way from CANTERLOT to see him again!! The poor mare was scared to death! I could tell when she hit him in the street, it was because she was scared - but she didn't do it in a way that made it seem like it was to be mean."
"Sort of like when a loved one does somethin' really stupid, and you slap them for it because you're concerned," the bartender replied with an understanding nod.
"Yes!! Exactly!!" Luna motioned for another refill and he obliged. As soon as she received it she downed half of it in one go. The other ponies in the bar had been hanging on every word she had said so far, and there was now a lot of muttering amongst them. Luna was too tipsy to notice.
"So the mare came and hit him, but she was also excited to see him, right?" Luna continued. "So then (hic) what does Toby do?? HE IGNORED HER and LEFT. He got really touchy and left. It's not the first time he's done it, too! He did it to Twilight and several of her friends at different points! How do you (hic) even deal with that?? He went through this big phase where he wanted nothing to even DO with ponies because he thought we made him miserable!!"
The bartender was too attentive to Luna's venting to notice that his customers began to trickle out, muttering amongst one another.
"The human? I've seen him around. Thinks he's tough or something? Who ignores a mare who is concerned?"
"Sounds like he's a nutcase. We need to let the others know."
"Why would she keep dating him? She needs to dump his flank, for Celestia's sake."
"Well, did you make him miserable?" the bartender asked.
Luna rubbed the counter nervously. "Well... yes. In the beginning we heavily mistreated him because we misunderstood him. I think he secretly holds that against us. I don't blame him for feeling that way, but he should (hic) be honest about it instead of telling everyone he's forgiven them even when he (hic) HASN'T!!"
"Yeah, that sounds like a crappy thing to do," the stallion agreed. "It may be a good idea to tell him about all of this. If you don't, things will probably get worse from here on out."
Luna puffed her cheeks. "I'm just too angry at him (hic) right now, I don't even want to (hic) SEE him right now!!"
"Maybe you could talk to the new princess?" the bartender suggested. "I'll admit it's a bit odd giving advice to a pony who just retired from being one, but they don't call her the "Princess of Friendship" fer nothing. Plus, it should give you some space before going to see him again."
Luna downed the rest of her second helping of cider and sighed loudly. "I (hic) think that is a good (hic) idea, thank you. I shall go (hic) as soon as I can, but I'm not certain of how much space I (hic) need..."
Luna passed out on the countertop. Clearly she was a lightweight, which immensely surprised the bartender. Apparently being an alicorn had no influence on your tolerance for alcohol.
"That human is scum, did you hear what the princess said?"
"Yeah, let's get out of here. I don't want my fillies having anything to do with that rude monkey. I'll let my wife know."
The bartender finally realized that the bar was empty, noticing the cutting words of the ponies that had just left. It wasn't hard to deduce that the other customers that had left felt the same way.
"Oh dear... Toby, wherever you are - stay strong, I have a bad feeling about this..." his eyes drifted down to Luna's unconscious form. With great effort he moved her onto a couch next to the wall and draped a blanket over her. Before he left for his own room, he muttered, "You poor soul, you have no idea how hard you have made things for yourself now. I hope you can find a way to fix this..."
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. The jungle seemed unusually cold and still that night. Toby watched from his perch next to a log on the forest floor as he performed his night watch duties. Toby peered into the darkness, which was unnervingly quiet.
Then again, EVERYTHING was unnerving.
There had been no night time sightings of the enemy at his location for almost five days. The tension in the air was so thick it almost suffocated him. How long had it been since he was deployed? A month?
The stench of the nighttime jungle mixed with the crushing anxiety threatened to overwhelm him, but he swallowed hard and closed his eyes. The hazy picture of Marietta swam into view, bringing warmth to a desolate soul.
"Marietta... Marietta!! MARIETTA, DON'T LEAVE ME!!"
"MARIETTA!!" Toby wailed, sitting up fully in his bed. He was drenched in a cold sweat.
The nightmares had come back, now in full force. Toby hadn't even realized that they stopped for a period of time, but now for some reason they were back and stronger than ever.
He took a deep breath as he fell backward. His eyes rested on the empty place where Peace once slept. A painful feeling welled up in his throat, and her lack of presence finally settled onto him fully. Would life ever give him a break...?
He looked at the clock. A few weeks had gone by, and no one had come. It had almost been a full four months since that date with Luna on Valentine's Day... or whatever stupid pony-like name they had given it here. He lost count of the months. He had been here in Equestria for too long. He hated this place. Was it worse than Earth? No.
Maybe it was just him.
Perhaps Marietta had left him because of something that was his fault. He wasn't good enough was the easiest, half-hearted explanation he could give. For her to make out with another man entirely, right in front of him...
Then there was Luna. When it came down to it, she turned away from him just as Marietta did. The things she had said about him... from a pony's perspective, as much as he hated it, were probably true. He was a hated man, that was obvious. No one seemed to give a rat's fart about his existence anymore. Maybe he had driven them off.
Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Fluttershy for some time. Maybe she was avoiding him too. They had schedules of their own, too, but they had clearly made time for him before.
Toby shook his head. You're being selfish.
His eyes fell on an unused backpack and hiking stick laying in the corner he had gotten from Minty as a thank you for what he had done for the store a couple weeks ago. Even since then, she seemed to need him less and less as she brought on new hires. They had more difficulty than Toby did with the heavy stuff, but despite that he was being scheduled less and less.
He gazed at his backpack for a long time before finally grunting and getting out of bed.
"I'm leaving."
He paused again after he took his first step, staring blankly at the front door. Why was he hesitating? What on Earth could make him want to stay here? Everyone else... ugh, he was thinking in circles. Again. He needed to make a decision and commit. All the logic pointed to what he needed to do.
Taking a deep breath, Toby emptied as many clothes as he could from his drawer into the backpack. Handy and convenient,
He shouldered the pack and sighed. Army knife, some food, a lot of clothes, his lack of will to live - check. He was ready to go.
He made sure to lock the front door on the way out and pocketed his key. The winter wrap up had already happened, so the early morning air was extremely pleasant. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he began heading in the direction opposite of Ponyville.
"Where are you off to, Toby? I thought the job you worked at was in the other direction."
Toby nearly had a heart attack. That voice. The one he had expected to hear the least at a time like this. "P-Princess Twilight??"
Luna had returned to the Crystal Palace (not to be confused with the not-so award winning club located in England) in Ponyville after her time with Cadance, which had been slightly humiliating but enlightening all the same. Since time was of the essence, they had to move to Ponyville. The longer they waited, the more distance and damage there would be between Toby and Luna.
Which was now the larger problem. It had been three days and Luna still felt too nervous to see Toby. She was busy reading a book in her room about the nature in Whitetail Wood to help her curb her uneasiness, but it wasn't really helping.
"Lulu, is that a good book?" Cadance asked, poking her snout into Luna's field of view.
"You're being unusually nosy, Cadance."
"Luna, it's been three days. How long are you going to let this sit??" Cadance huffed, dropping herself on the bed in exasperation.
"I-I don't know, you ask this every day..." Luna murmured, tossing the book aside. "I'm - nevermind."
"No, go on. It may be super important," Cadance urged her in a softer tone.
Luna sighed. "I'm just- scared. What if he doesn't accept me??"
"What happened to that determination?" Cadance pressed. "You were so full of heart back in Canterlot! If you choose to give up now, then Toby is out of the picture. I can't make the choice for you, but your happiness is at stake here..."
Luna covered her eyes and groaned. "What if he doesn't love me, Cadance?"
"Then you'll win him back."
Luna punched her pillow, causing Cadance to flinch. "This isn't a fairy tale, okay?? I made him hate me, it was my one chance!!"
"Calm down, you don't know anything yet," Cadance sighed. "Stop assuming things, it'll only make it worse."
Luna took a shaky breath. "You just don't get it... 'win him back?' Are you crazy??"
"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't possible," Cadance replied stubbornly. "You're forgetting that my hunches are never wrong."
Luna looked at her with a slight twinkle in her eye. "Cadance..."
Author's Note
definitely not me taking a shot at Crystal Palace
In all seriousness, this was a short chapter. I know. But life has had a mind of its own with me like everyone else so it was really hard staying motivated or encouraged to keep writing (that's not even mentioning the busy work schedule because life). I'm still dedicated and fully intend on finishing this story into something that will hopefully be remembered and enjoyed even after it's complete. So thank you for all of your support and eagerness to follow along, it's kept this thing alive and I owe it all to you!!
Again, sorry for the late and short update. I really needed to make a release.
On top of all of this it's really hard dragging these massive nuts around 😩
the end
Hey... are you okay...? That was really depressing...
Shut the fuck up pinkie, your mom's an amish knockoff
"So... what's the backpack for?" Twilight asked curiously. She was alone, which was strange since Toby would of assumed she would have escorts as a princess.
"Just - going for a hike," Toby grunted. "Need some air."
"On a work day?" Twilight pressed, raising an eyebrow. "Does your boss know about this?"
"Yeah yeah, she er - she came up with the idea, actually," Toby lied quickly, turning away.
"Oh really? Will she say that if I go ask her?" Twilight asked shrewdly.
That did it. Somewhere deep inside, an emotional cork blew. A massive, unexplainable feeling of rage boiled up inside of his chest. He glared at the princess so angrily that his teeth bared and trembled. "Then go ask her, nosy. Or you can just remember that it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS ."
Twilight half-gasped and stumbled slightly. "T-Toby?"
"It's literally just a hike!! A mental break! SO JUST LEAVE ME BE AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN JOB AS A PRINCESS!!!" Toby bellowed, kicking a rock at her. "YOUR DUTY IS TO THIS COUNTRY, NOT ME!!!!"
He took off running before Twilight could get another word. After a few hundred yards he stopped and caught his breathe. What the hell was that? Who did she think she was? His overbearing mom?
Surprisingly enough, he didn't feel guilty. Instead he just was happy to be off scott-free. Not only that, but away from the ponies to his great delight. He still felt awful of course, but it was a step in the right direction. He continued to walk through the woods, making sure he headed in one direction and one direction only. He didn't want to end up back at Ponyville.
Panting, he looked up at the seemingly endless spread of trees before him. Taking a deep breath, he began walking. His mind wandered as he moved through the trees, despite his best efforts to distract himself with the tranquil atmosphere around him. He couldn't shake this nervous, guilty feeling that continued to make his gut sink further with every step.
He was so confused, everything that had happened to him since finding himself in Equestria only weighed even more heavily upon his mind. None of the ponies, bar Twilight and Fluttershy, always seemed to treat him based on whimsical unproven rumors. Or at least, that's what it seemed like.
A twig snapped behind him, causing him to spin around and peer at his surroundings. Did Twilight follow him? Were those wolves coming after him again? He nearly forgot about them...
After a couple minutes of intense silence, there was nothing. Toby took a deep breath to calm his nerves and continued forward. He couldn't help but look for a large piece of wood to help him defend himself as he walked.
Eventually the trees thinned out and he found himself at the top of a very top cliff. Mist shrouded the trees far below, but he could just make out the leaves. For a brief moment, he thought about jumping.
Just that one thought, one single thought, and he began to shake his head. Now it was not just fleeting. Toby grit his teeth and forced himself to take a couple steps backward. He could not let himself go out like a coward... right?
Now that he really thought about it, when had there been a moment where he wasn't a coward? Coming home from Vietnam, saving his own skin rather than his friends on several occasions, and now he was running from his problems again. Maybe this time it could actually be the end... or would that damn God he used to believe in send him to some other place as another cruel joke?
Toby looked to his right and realized that he had subconsciously let his bag slip off his shoulder to the ground. He turned once more to face the cliff. Last time he had jumped, he survived... but Peace wasn't here to save him again. He would certainly be unstoppable this time. Besides, those ponies would find something else to be flaky about.
Luna's smiling face came to the front of his mind, and he froze. A bizarre mixture of sadness, anger, and regret bubbled up. It was no mistake that he couldn't help but love her still, as much as he wished he didn't. What was wrong with her?? Leading him on, only to turn what seemed to be a nice community against him...
He forced a laugh. It was all just a huge joke, wasn't it? Just a huge, disgusting joke. A joke where he would eternally be the punchline. It sounded cheesy in his head, but most jokes had an ending didn't they?
Maybe it was time he really ended this one. The final punchline.
It was at that moment he didn't even feel human anymore. As he slowly paced up to the edge, he wondered when he had lost it. Was it after 'Nam? Was it after Marietta abandoned him, before making a last ditch effort to find him?
Would someone do the same for him here?
Toby laughed. He remembered all those times the ponies had been visibly upset about his self-harming acts. In all fairness, it was mostly unheard of in this world. They would undoubtedly be upset if they ever found out about this time, but at that point he wouldn't be around to see it.
That last thought made him chuckle. His chuckle slowly turned into a small laugh, which slowly escalated until he was on his knees. It was so ironic, taking his own life in a world of happy ponies and rainbows.
His laughing died away into cold silence once more, and he looked down at the forest with a deadly feeling of motivation. This time it had to work, or else none of this would ever be over. He sat down fully and dangled his feet off the edge, trying to calm his nerves. It was a long way down, after all.
This was it. This was really it. He was finally going to die. He pushed himself off and immediately felt the thrill of adrenaline at the lack of solid ground. His heart and stomach rose up to his throat as he fell, and he closed his eyes.
He felt something soft underneath him as his fall came to almost an abrupt halt. The flapping of wings could be heard underneath him, and he could feel himself slowly rising up again.
He opened his eyes and saw navy blue fur. Without really realizing he began to hold on tighter. The cool wind tickled his face with every beat of the wings. Slowly they came to a stop, and Toby slipped to his knees on solid ground once more. He already knew who it was, but he didn't think much of her at the moment. He wasn't thinking mostly at all.
"Toby..." said a very quiet, soothing voice. It trembled slightly, causing his gut to wrench. "Did... did I do this?"
He felt shocked for a moment and found himself looking up at Luna. Her eyes were locked onto him in a gaze of disbelief, and the sides of her cheeks were soaked from tears.
Toby was lost for words. He expected her to be angry at him for attempting suicide. A lecture, at the very least. He would have expected her to be sad, of course, but not like this...
"Is it m-my fault?" Luna asked quietly. "Toby, please... talk to me..."
"What is there to say??" he snarled suddenly, causing her to jump. "I thought we had something, you had me CONVINCED!!"
"We do!" Luna yelped. "Toby, I know you're upset -"
"HOW MANY MORE TIMES WILL THIS KIND OF THING HAPPEN TO ME!?!?" he bellowed, rising to his feet. His vision became watery. Luna's pupils shrunk as she finally realized. "HOW MANY... how many more..."
Toby slumped to the ground, suddenly feeling immensely exhausted. He didn't want to move nor breathe. "There was only one way for it to end, Luna."
"Did I do this to you? Am I just as bad as... her?" Luna asked.
"You should know," Toby moaned. He felt as pathetic as he sounded.
"Please, you must listen to what I have to say," Luna pleaded, taking a shuddering breath. "I made a mistake... and it hurt you."
Toby remained still and silent.
"I was frustrated because you... you were pushing everypony away again! All Clarity had wanted to do was help, even if it wasn't in the right way, and you..." she took another deep breath before continuing. "I was upset, I ranted about it to a shopkeeper and at the bar. I forgot that others still look up to me like a princess... and then everypony hated you."
Toby just gazed at her. No words came to mind.
Luna squatted down. "I know you probably don't trust me. I want to apologize, I j-just don't know how to!!" She began to cry. "Toby, I love you! You are the best thing that's ever happened to me! So don't l-leave m-me!!"
Toby could see it in her eyes, she was desperate. She was telling him the truth.
He clenched his fists. "I... I'm sorry."
Luna went silent in shock. "Why are you apologizing? Toby-?"
"I'm so sorry for everything," Toby grunted, and tears began to fall. "I'm always confused, Luna. I mess everything up, don't I? Everything bad happens to me, so many bad things that I don't even know what is good anymore! H-Help me... I don't know anymore... the things that I have done..."
He felt a sudden warm embrace and felt as if he could melt into it. Luna had gently wrapped her wings around him and stroked his hair with one hoof.
"I can't live like this... it never ends, Luna..." Toby choked. "I can't be loved, can I?"
Luna kissed the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere. Marietta can go buck herself. I can succeed where she could not."
Toby looked up at her. "Er, yeah..."
Luna hugged him even more tightly. "I made a mistake because I was not patient enough. I'm sorry, Toby."
He laughed before worming his way out of the hug. "Okay, you big cheeseball... I'm sorry for not trusting you. I know I was used to bad things, but... I promise I won't run away from you. I just... can't go back to Ponyville."
"I understand that my mistake will have lasting consequences," Luna sighed before smiling. "Despite that, Ponyville is just one small town in a large country."
Toby raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you talking about?"
"My sister and I had a small little retirement cottage next to the ocean over near Las Pegasus... if you wish to settle with us there," she added slyly.
Toby paused. "So... I wouldn't have to...?"
Luna giggled. "Nope. You could start a new life in Las Pegasus, and Tia and I would support you along the way."
Toby turned a bit red. "So wait... are we still...?"
Before he knew it Luna had closed the distance to him and kissed him. Everything around him turned to a blur. He felt the urge to jump into the air and shout like he did as a kid.
When they separated, Luna smiled at him. "I don't ever remember breaking up, do you?"
Toby suddenly felt his limbs give away from relief. He smiled, but this time it felt like a true smile. Luna helped him to his feet and pecked him on the cheek.
"Let's get back so we can pack up your stuff," Luna said softly. "You don't have that much, do you?"
"Considering I've built half of my furniture, not really," Toby laughed.
"But they're so prettyyy," Luna cooed. "Ooh, I know!! We can pass them down to our children when they move out!"
"What!? Children!? That's so far away!!" Toby sputtered, embarrassed.
"Of course!!" Luna tinkled. "But before that happens, we're getting married on the beach. Can you see it?? Ooh, how romantic!!!"
"L-Luna!!"
As the couple retreated back towards Toby's cabin, the man felt a sense of hope he hadn't felt since getting accepted into college. Hell, he knew things weren't going to be good for him emotionally at first. He was certain that he had Luna by his side now, and that made a hell of a difference.
He now had hope. Now, things would get better, he was finally sure of it. He would never, ever forget the traumas he had suffered. They would probably weigh him down - but now they seemed like an issue he could truly tackle.
Because no matter what, they would always be the things he carried.
END
Author's Note
I intentionally left it with an open ending, how it continues can be left to your imagination.
A lot has happened recently, and I apologize for the wait. After all, I did make a promise to you guys that I would finish it.
I didn't want to half-ass it, though. I wanted to do the story justice and end on a note that wholly impacts the plot in a meaningful and hopefully uplifting way. Any spinoffs or sequels are more than welcome! I hope you enjoyed the read, and hopefully I can churn out more stories in the future!
Once again, Toby had been abruptly roused by the harsh rapping upon his cell door. He rolled over and watched as the pegasus guard named Clarity pushed in a plate of a presumably stone cold scramble. It seemed that the princesses were tempting him into eating by the slight increase in the quality of food - which was all the worse for him, since it made it harder for him to ignore. Not only this, but his stomach seemed to begin to slightly gnaw at itself - not a good sign, but this was a battle he had chosen.
He forced himself to roll back over onto his other side so that he faced away from the food. He heard Clarity let out a frustrated sigh behind him. It was hard to notice this, however, for he was busy trying not to betray a gasp of pain as he had rolled onto his bad arm. He carefully extracted it out from under him and let it lay next to him, throbbing pitifully. Now that he thought about it, it looked a bit - purple.
"Oh for Celestia's sake, eat!! " she said with a sharp edge to her tone.
A pang of rage burned in Toby's chest - it was funny how they were going through all this trouble to try and feed him, but they seemed to ignore the fact he was hurt - and now they were trying to demand him to eat? It gave him even more satisfaction to ignore her and remain motionless. He was starting to like these ponies less and less every day.
He waited, taking care to take deep, slow breaths like one would if they were sleeping. Then, after a long, silent moment, he heard Clarity sigh quietly and walk back up the corridor. The corner of Toby's mouth twitched as she did.
It was very unusual for the royal sisters to communicate vaguely in their letters - that's why Twilight was still scratching her head as the Ponyville Express puffed up the mountain towards Canterlot.
The last time (that she could think of on the spot, anyway) she remembered the princesses sending her an undescriptive letter was when they had summoned her to tell her about the Crystal Empire for the first time. All they had said was that she had a 'test' of some sort - not remotely helpful.
She had been signing up the last couple of documents needed for an official repair to a portion of the plumbing in the ladies' bathroom at her School of Friendship - long story - when she had received their letter. Right off the bat she knew it was going to be a short one - the scroll was much thinner and lighter than usual. Still, being the eager pony she was, she wasted no time opening it.
Twilight,
Please come as soon as possible,
Not only did the vagueness of the letter frustrate Twilight, it was that Celestia had gone and scheduled stand-in professors at her school, which forced Twilight to then assess their friendship-related teaching abilities (fortunately, they fit the tasks assigned to them quite nicely). Fortunately for herself and her friends, they were in a particularly lax period of the school year, so going to Canterlot wouldn't affect the flow of things too much. She just wished Celestia would have done a better job organizing the request, which she was usually very good at doing.
"What kind of alien do you think it will be?" squeaked Pinkie Pie from the seat in front of Twilight, who had been snapped out of her train of thought with the question.
"Oh - er... I'm not sure, Pinkie," she replied, shaking her head to clear it. "Princess Celestia didn't describe the situation at all . All I know is that there's an alien of some sort involved."
"Do you think it could be dangerous though, darling?" Rarity said from behind a large sketchbook that she had been invested in since the beginning of the train ride. "They scarcely call upon us for other matters."
"Except for being awesome!!" Rainbow Dash said enthusiastically, standing up on her seat.
Rarity rolled her eyes. "You are so unbelievably predictable, Rainbow Dash - you know this, don't you?"
Rainbow blew a loud raspberry at the unicorn and sat back down. "What are you even drawing, Rarity? You've had your nose in that doodle pad ever since we got on the train!"
Rarity raised her chin in a dignified way and turned the notebook to reveal a sketch of a magnificent gown. "Only the best addition to my new line in Manehattan - moonlight-related numbers are all the rage right now."
"Pff, dresses," Rainbow retorted, waving her hoof dismissively. "You should go outside."
Twilight huffed and looked out the window, feeling too tired and stressed to deal with her friend's banter (that would most likely solve itself). She hoped that Celestia wasn't up to her pre-retirement shenanigans - she had been less like herself ever since she and Luna had declared their retirement.
As Twilight predicted, the argument between Rarity and Rainbow simmered down before the train came to a halt at the Canterlot Union Station. Twilight and her friends bade the conductor thanks and began their trek up to the castle. This did not take long, for Canterlot was a fairly small city. The streets weren't too crowded, either, allowing them to pass through easily.
When they had reached the castle's front doors, the guards stationed there instantly recognized the Princess of Friendship and company. They hastily moved aside, nodding subtly but respectfully as the mares passed.
They wasted no time arriving at the throne room doors, and Twilight pushed them open without invitation. She had been prepared to ask what the matter was as well as expecting to see the urgent, dire expressions on the royal sisters' faces. All of her thoughts and calculations came to an abrupt halt when she saw that Luna and Celestia were... confused? Worried?
"Twilight," Celestia said, addressing the confused purple princess. "My sister and I are so glad you could show up."
"Celestia - Luna - I-I don't understand," Twilight stammered. Why were they so calm?? "Is something wrong?"
The sisters exchanged a look, and then Luna looked at Twilight. "Er... sort of. It's quite the confusing situation, but we need your help. Guards, leave us please."
The soldiers stationed around the room automatically left their posts and marched out of the room. When the last guard had bowed and closed the door behind him, Twilight saw a flicker of concern on Celestia's face. She turned to Luna with a calm expression that looked a bit forced.
"Is it true he's not taking anything we give him?" she asked in a hushed voice.
Luna shook her head slowly. "I'm afraid not, sister."
Celestia sighed and turned to face Twilight and her friends, whom all were staring at the princesses curiously.
"Er - Princess Celestia," Twilight said, stepping forward. "I take it that this isn't... urgent?"
"Well..." Luna cut in as her sister opened her mouth to reply. "It is yet to be seen whether or not the creature we told you about is a national threat. It seems that so far he is harmless, but we have been fooled before."
Twilight grimaced as a hazy image of Cozy Glow floated to the front of her mind. She nodded. "So what do you want us to do?"
"We ask that the six of you stay here for the following week," Celestia said in a serious tone, "So that each of you in turn can interrogate the creature that is currently being held in the dungeons."
"Interrogate?" Pinkie asked. "What is interrogating? Does it involve confetti or silly string?"
"It's basically questioning," Twilight said, throwing a meaningful look in the bouncy mare's direction, as if to say Seriously? This is important! .
"Ooh! What are we asking him?" Pinkie continued, completely missing Twilight's attempt to get her to act serious.
"That will be up to the six of you, plus myself," Celestia replied. "Although they shall be questions that are appropriate and respectful to an interrogation, " she added, glancing in the direction of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie.
There were nods of agreement, Rainbow doing so grudgingly (she had clearly been hyping herself up for a rather... intense questioning).
Celestia smiled. "Now, before I give you some general information, I would like to apologize for the short notice - my sister and I wanted you here as soon as possible."
"No worries, Princess," Twilight said in what she hoped was a cheery voice. "It was a good thing we weren't so busy."
Celestia nodded in acknowledgment. "I'm happy to hear that. With that said, you need to know everything you can before going into your interrogations. Luna, why don't you tell them?"
"Well, for starters," Luna began, "The creature is a male and identifies himself as something called a human."
Twilight gasped, as if someone had hit her across the face. A human?? HERE!? She refrained from saying anything, however, and let the princess continue uninterrupted.
"His name, from what we gathered, is Toby," Luna continued, ignoring Twilight. "Whether or not that is his true name has yet to be seen. We have detained him on account for suspicion of violence - royal protocol, of course - but thus far he has claimed and shown to be relatively harmless. What we need you six to do is to find out as much about him as you can, so that we can take action if necessary."
"When do we start?" Twilight asked, careful not to betray a look of eagerness.
"Today, if possible," Luna continued. "Only one of you will interview him each day. The order in which you choose is completely up to you."
Twilight nodded. "I'll go first, if that's alright with anyone."
"In mah opinion, Twilight's the most qualified ta go first," Applejack put in. "Not to point hooves, but she is a princess an' all."
"Yeah! And she's super smart!!" Pinkie added, bouncing up and down.
"She's definitely capable enough to handle a dangerous alien," Rarity agreed, earning an appraising look from Twilight.
"It's decided, then," Celestia said, bowing her head slightly in Twilight's direction.
"So - when do I start?" Twilight asked, suddenly feeling slightly nervous. "I need time to prepare some questions!"
"Preferably today, but only if you feel comfortable enough to do so," Celestia said with a motherly smile. "If you need to prepare, I understand. In my experience with interrogations, however, you don't find the questions; the questions find you. In other words, you may not need to prepare. The creature in question isn't exactly, er - talkative."
"Um, excuse me, please," Fluttershy said in a very quiet voice. "I'd like to ask a question... if that's okay with you..."
Twilight inwardly grinned. Typical Flutters - almost always timid and over-polite, even in the most welcome environments.
"We'd love to hear it, Fluttershy," Luna said encouragingly, making the shy pegasus perk up.
"Well, you said he wasn't talkative..." she began, looking more confident. "Do you think I could... you know... talk to him after Twilight?"
"You would have to wait until the next day," Celestia replied with a smile. "We don't want to overwhelm him, but I think you would be a great pony to be among one of the first three to interrogate him."
Fluttershy smiled. "Of course, your majesty."
Luna then walked closer to Twilight. "Will you need a day to prepare, then, Twilight?" she asked, and the purple princess looked at the ground.
After a long moment, she said in a quiet voice, "No - I can question him today."
Once again, Toby found himself ushered into the steel interrogation room where he had been questioned by Princess Luna. He would, without a doubt, be subject to another interrogation. He resolved to his old plan, with a small change - he would not speak unless if it was absolutely necessary. Unless he could get out sooner by talking more, and if that were the case he would be more than happy to comply.
Clarity sat him down in his chair, but something seemed different this time. He didn't know if his mind was playing tricks on him, but the pegasus guard seemed to handle him more gently.
He sat there, vaguely aware of the scratchy rope holding his wrists to the back of the chair. He looked around, feeling suddenly nonchalant. Why did these ponies have to be so interested in him? The level of justice and xenophobia was diabolically annoying on so many levels that he could practically just... die.
Hey - now there was an idea. A bit extreme, but he could leave this mixed up, crazy, stupid, violent world permanently. No more dreams about the War. No more crazy waves of loneliness. No more agonizing thoughts of what could have been with Marietta...
The sound door behind him opening brought him back to reality with a slight jolt. The soft clatter of hooves on the ground slowly approached the table, inching their way around. Toby closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself, and opened them again.
On the other end of the table stood a smaller unicorn with wings - probably another figure of power. Her mane and tail were a deep violet color with a pink streak. Her coat was lavender, and her eyes were also a deep violet. She wore a small gold crown upon her head.
"Hello, Toby," she said brightly. Huh. This one may try to be friendly to him. "I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship."
Toby swallowed a snort of laughter that would have surely been cause for his death. Why the hell would someone need a princess for friendship?
She studied Toby's form up and down with an odd expression, like he looked incredibly familiar before. Then she said something that threw all of his conscious side thoughts into the bin.
"I've seen humans before," she said quietly, still gazing at him. "I was once in the human world for a month - then I returned again later..."
"Wh-What??" Toby stammered hoarsely, completely forgetting his vow to be silent. The alicorn recoiled, clearly startled by the sound of his voice.
"Well, yeah... the only confusing thing is, when I traveled to the human world my physical form became human. When I came back to this world, I became a pony again. So why didn't you change?"
Toby stared. "What city were you in when you went to the human world?" he asked quietly.
The pony thought for a moment. "Canterlot City, I think. Why?"
"Doesn't exist," Toby said quickly.
"Sorry?" Twilight asked, furrowing her brows.
"It doesn't exist," Toby said in a gravelly voice. "I know my geography of Earth really well - such a place as that has never existed."
"Earth?" Twilight said curiously. "The name of the human world I visited was called Equestria - just like our country here in this world." She frowned in thought for a moment, then let out an excited squeak. "Are you from a different dimension of humans?"
Toby, suddenly remembering his plan to stay quiet, shrugged. He stared at the table, determined not to meet the princess's eyes.
"Did - did I do something?" Twilight asked nervously.
Toby slowly shook his head.
Looking mildly disconcerted from his sudden change in demeanor, Twilight cleared her throat. Levitating a piece of parchment in front of her, she glanced at it before stowing it under the table. She tried to look Toby in the eye, which was very hard considering the fact he was in an intense staring contest with the table.
"You know why you're here, right?" Twilight asked.
Toby shrugged, knowing very well that this pony government was trying to find out whether he was a danger to their society or not.
"You have been brought in for questioning so that we can determine if it would be safe to integrate you into our society," she explained, putting her forehooves up on the table and pulling out a quill and a roll of parchment . "Princess Luna has informed me that you have claimed to have been involved in violent activities, but didn't want to participate. Is this indeed true?"
Toby nodded.
"Would you mind giving me an example, then?" Twilight pressed, looking straight at Toby.
Toby thought for a moment. Should he tell her? It was, obviously, his least favorite topic by far. Maybe if he just kept it simple, and didn't go into it - no, he wouldn't say anything more than the necessary words...
"A war," he said, repressing a shudder. He hated the disgusting word.
Twilight recoiled. "Oh... my... er - would you - you know... care to elaborate?"
Toby made a point of looking Twilight dead in the eye, giving her what he hoped was an intense glare. It seemed to work, because she frowned and scribbled at the bottom of the parchment.
"It was that bad, huh?" she asked in a conversational way.
Toby shook his head in sad disbelief. How could she, or anyone in this weird land, understand what he had been forced to experience?
What he had been forced to do...
Twilight put down her pen and quill and paused to stare at Toby. Everything about him screamed 'harmless', but something else was bugging her - and frustratingly enough, she just couldn't put a hoof on it. There was one thing she was sure of, however - something about Toby was wrong.
The sound of the human's voice knocked her out of her trance. "Is it possible for me to get out of prison?" he asked in a hollow voice.
Twilight regarded him, then thought her reply out carefully. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna request that you be questioned by each of my friends before you are considered for release... it's not my place to release prisoners - yet."
Toby looked up slowly. "Y-Yet?"
Twilight sighed. "I'm going to be crowned Princess of Equestria in a couple weeks, and by then I'll be in charge of everything - including prisons. And to be frank, I don't know much about you yet, so legally I couldn't release you because of the protocol. Thank you for you time today, Toby."
Right. The stupid protocol, Toby thought to himself bitterly. It makes no sense. I've taken government classes, and the rule is the dumbest and most pointless thing I've heard.
Twilight looked at him sadly, then turned to walk towards the door. When she was halfway out of the room, she hesitated. She then turned and smiled sympathetically.
"For what it's worth... I don't think you're harmless, Toby," she said quietly. She then left, leaving Toby in a stunned silence as the guard untied him to return him to his cell.
Author's Note
Aaaaand howdy again. Not gonna leave you guys hangin'.
Good, I've had my eye on you.
... For the love of Christ, Pinkie, leave. I said I'd come back - and also, I happen to be in charge here.
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy this. It's my number one priority to not dumpster-fire this story, so the feedback has been great. Just keep in mind that your comment may or may not be considered, so nothing personal...
So yeah. Cheers.
Chapter 13
Trees passed by in a haze of green as the car passed over the Indiana landscape Toby had known so well. His father hadn't said a word after he had began the drive home after picking his son up from the airport in Indianapolis.
Toby watched the shrubs and trees shoot past with a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. His mind constantly replayed the only bitter words his father had said when they saw each other.
"Get in the car," the man had growled, gesturing angrily towards the old pickup with a gnarled thumb.
Since then, the only interaction the two had between each other were the occasional nasty looks he had received from the driver's side. It was clear to Toby that his father was unhappy, but it was a strange thing to behold - his father wasn't an unhappy man. He was proud of his son in everything he had accomplished, even proud when Toby had been forcibly drafted by the army. The fact that his father had been acting like this from the moment he saw his son, despite having not seen him for two years, came as a seriously unsettling thought.
They had been driving for the past hour and a half, and neither of them said a word to the other. It was nearly torture, being treated like this by a man he had loved with his first conscious thought, without knowing the reason.
Toby's foot gave a dull throb, and a thought snuck into his head, confirming one of his worst fears... he had disappointed his father. He knew, somehow - perhaps someone in the military told him of his injury, the injury that sent him home?
"So... I suppose you'll need a place to stay, will you?" his father growled, making him jump.
"Er - yeah..." Toby murmured quietly in reply.
His father grunted grumpily in reply. "After all these years, I never... if it weren't for your damned mother being so stubborn about you..."
"Father, what -?"
"QUIET, BOY!!!" his father bellowed, pounding the steering wheel. The truck lurched, causing the car behind them to honk angrily.
Toby stared at his father, feeling a creeping feeling of despair in his chest. He studied the line on the old man's face, and how deeply they were carved with the enraged expression on his face. Had he only been a trophy to his father, after all these years? Were all those whisperings of how much the man loved him utter lies...?
A blunt force stuck Toby on the head, making him jump out of his slumber. Pacificae sat to his immediate right, staring at him intensely. After a moment, he realized that the blunt force had been her paw, and he rubbed his face angrily. His hands were suddenly wet, and he quickly examined them.
Had he been... crying?
Pacificae gave his side a nudge and squeaked.
"What -? No! I was taking a nap!!" Toby snorted indignantly.
His furry friend raised an eyebrow and squawked at him.
"What are you talking about? I'm fine!" Toby grumbled, getting to his feet. "Don't give me this 'you're acting depressed' crap - you know I'm a reserved person, Peace."
He sighed and looked around the clearing in which he was building his soon-to-be home. It had been a full week since Hearth's Warming, and the end of the holiday couldn't have come soon enough. He and Pacificae had managed to lay a stone foundation using large stones and boulders in the surrounding area. Then, they had managed to create a cementing paste from mud, a bit of glue from the hardware shop, and Pacificae's saliva (it was kind of gross, but worked super well for some reason). By applying it in between the boulders and stones, they had built up a solid, immovable foundation.
Throughout all that work, Toby had lots of time to reflect and ponder about
He had really sugarcoated his words back at Twilight's place during his holiday stay. He had appreciated the out-of-the-blue hospitality he had received, but he still wasn't ready to immerse himself among ponykind just yet. He also needed a lot of time to process it all - especially when it came to Luna (thank you, solitude!). How had the lunar princess gone from meathead to marshmallow all of a sudden?
... Oh yeah. They thought he had died. Now that he had considered that, it made a bit more sense. She obviously had felt guilty about being an absolute jackass to him, and wanted to make things right. What didn't make sense was that she claimed to love him - that was what bothered him. He could have sworn that she hated him with every living cell in her being, and yet she claimed it was a cover-up.
That wasn't how love worked, or at least to his knowledge. If you wanted to hide the fact that you loved someone from that person of interest, than it was illogical to act as if they were scum on the bottom of your foot. Then again, he only had a vague knowledge of human psychology... pony psych could be vastly different for all he knew.
Besides, the last time he had loved... just the thought of it made him strike the ground with his hands out of angry impulse.
The day after the Hearth's Warming holiday, Toby had left. Thankfully, he was able to manage doing so under Twilight's radar, and she hadn't noticed him sneaking off until that evening. It didn't take her long to track him down, since he had returned to his makeshift construction site. Every now and then the scene would replay over in his head...
He and Pacificae had almost been done with the first layer of stones in the foundation when an irate voice pierced across the woods.
"TOBY!!!" the voice of Twilight shrieked, making him jump.
Swearing under his breath, he hoisted himself out of the pit and found himself face to face with a very angry, very purple alicorn.
"Hey, princess," Toby said airily, but Twilight scrunched up her nose.
"Don't you 'hey princess ' me," she snarled. "You just freakin' left!! Without saying anything!"
"I had my reasons," Toby replied nonchalantly, leaning up against one of the supports to his future home.
Twilight huffed and stomped a hoof, clearly to intimidate him. Why she would try was beyond him, and the fact that she only came up to the bottom of his ribcage didn't help. It was kind of cute in a childish way.
"We're going back," Twilight grumbled, and turned to leave. Toby stayed put.
"No," he replied firmly. "I'm building my home."
Twilight looked stricken, as if she hadn't expected this reply. She then regained her composure and glared at him. "You don't have a choice. You'll freeze out here."
"Don't I?" Toby replied, raising his eyebrows. "I was under the impression that you good friend Rapity -"
"Rarity ," Twilight huffed.
"Yeah, that's the one," Toby agreed with a nod. "She made me this awesome coat as a Hearth's Warming Gift - despite only meeting me the day of. It's kept me more than warm, I assure you."
"That's really - that's not - so??" Twilight sputtered.
"Long story short, I don't really need any more charity from ponies," Toby replied, stroking his fuzzy chin. Doing so, he paused. He really needed to shave.
Twilight shook her head. "It's not charity, Toby," she countered. "What's gotten into you??"
Toby turned and gave her a reproachful look. "Seriously? After all I've been through when it comes to treatment from you ponies? Do you you really think I'd be all puppies and rainbows after that?"
Twilight's eyes shrunk as she began to understand what he was saying. "You - but - you said that you forgave us... you lied?"
"Well, what was I supposed to do? Ruin your guys' holiday?" Toby quipped. "I don't sink that low - and yes, I know that I've already done so by lying to your face - but I haven't forgotten how you all treated me back at the castle..."
"What about Fluttershy and I?" Twilight asked as her ears drooped down. "Do you... hate us as well?"
"Wha - no!" Toby groaned, smacking a hand to his forehead in exasperation. "I never said anything about - ugh - listen, even though I haven't forgiven some of your friends, it doesn't mean that I hate them."
Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "Are you prejudiced against all of ponykind because of a couple flaws in our leaders?"
Toby snarled and narrowed his eyes. "A couple flaws? It takes more than a couple flaws to make someone beat feet out of your city in the way I did. What your princesses were back there to me? Nasty. Especially Luna! And now - all of a sudden everyone wants to be all buddy-buddy! All I have to say to that is thanks, no thanks."
"But they know how they treated you - and more importantly, they are extremely, genuinely regretting the decisions they made!!" Twilight cried in protest. "All they're asking for is some forgiveness -"
"And what happens when I do genuinely forgive them?" Toby countered. "Will everything be forgotten? No ma'am, I can't accept that. See, I don't forget things. There have been crimes I committed that not only will linger in my memory until my dying days, but would make your guts go stone cold if you knew about them..."
As he faltered off, Twilight noticed something in the man's eyes that made her visibly cringe - they were empty; the look he had was more hollow than anything she had seen. The look of someone who had nearly hit rock bottom, but wouldn't even try to claw their way back.
"Toby..." Twilight pleaded. "Let us help - if not them, then at least let me!"
Toby froze, then looked at the ground. "I couldn't tear you away from your friends... nor your royal responsibilities..."
"Be that as it may, ever heard of teleportation??" Twilight replied stubbornly. "I will visit you every day if I have to. I will do anything I can to help you heal, Toby, and I mean it."
Toby remained silent for a moment, feeling half touched and half annoyed by the alicorn's persistence. Finally, he groaned. "Fine - but if I start to get in the way of your duties as princess -"
"I can enlist Fluttershy to help, if you like," Twilight interrupted.
Toby looked around at Twilight's stubborn expression, and his own softened. Of course - how could he have forgotten about that small, incredibly kind pegasus?
He remembered the day when he had been interrogated by her - but was it really an interrogation on that day? He remembered how scared she had seemed at the beginning, but when she had given him that strange stare, as if she could see into his very soul? She immediately went from her meager demeanor to that of a motherly one. She seemed to understand the scope of his struggles...
"Yeah, that would be cool..." Toby murmured. "She was nice. I liked her."
Twilight beamed. "You wouldn't believe how ecstatic she was when she was told that you were alive - she would be more than happy to help you. You could meet my other friends, too, if you feel like it!"
Toby was taken aback. "Your other friends? Twilight, you have a bazillion, give or take a couple thousand."
"Har har," Twilight scoffed. "I was talking about my main friends. You haven't met Applejack or Pinkie Pie. Rarity would be pleased to get to know you more as well, too - after all, they would have questioned you had you not tried to - you know." She gulped and stared at the ground.
A pang of guilt shot down Toby's spine, and before he knew what he was doing he had knelt down and wrapped Twilight up in a massive hug. She gave a startled squeak, but then returned the gesture tightly.
"I swear I'll never try that again," Toby said softly. "Back in my world, suicide is on of the most selfish acts one can commit."
They released one another, and Twilight gave him a curious, watery look. "S-Suicide? What does that mean?"
Toby sighed. "Suicide is a word that roughly translates to 'self-kill'."
"Oh," Twilight said quietly, than looked back up to Toby with a faint interest. "You should really tell me more about your world. It sounds super interesting."
Toby chuckled and stood up. "Someday. For the time being, I'm gonna work on my house."
"If you're not coming back to the castle, where are you going to sleep?" Twilight asked with a pleading look.
Toby shrugged. "Here, I guess. Pacificae's body temperature stays constant because of magic something-or-other. She'll keep me safe."
Twilight looked over at the jackalope, who blinked at her peacefully. Giggling, Twilight nodded.
"Alright... just stay safe," she sighed. "I'll tell everyone else back at the castle about - everything."
"And tell them I don't feel like being bothered," Toby added. "No loopholes, princess."
Twilight stuck out her tongue. "Will you at least meet my friends? Rarity's making you some clothes, similar to the ones you wore when you were found. You can't go running around in that blanket all the time and expect to stay warm."
Toby had forgot about that, but just shrugged. He could use some actual pants for once.
"As far as your friends go, if they wanna help me with the house, sure. I'm still not in the mood for pony interactions, but..." Toby shrugged. "It's whatever. As long as they don't get in the way, bug me, or annoy me to hell and back, I guess I don't mind."
Twilight smiled, then turned to leave. "Whatever you say. Am I still allowed to visit you?"
Toby shrugged. "I mean, you haven't done anything. You're more than welcome here, given you don't try to force me to do anything I don't want to."
"You have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes, Toby," Twilight sighed, making her way down the hill.
"Funny you mention that, since I seem to be at the polar opposite of comfort nowadays!!" he called after the alicorn, but she made no sign of hearing him. Huffing, he turned to Pacificae.
"C'mon, buddy, let's get back to work... I wanna get the walls up before I lose the nails..."
Since, he and his furry little friend had managed to lay the foundation. As it turns out, a proper foundation made of numerous stones requires painstaking placement, which took what felt like a millennium.
Fortunately, he had Pacificae to help him, so it all went quicker. Especially with the small boulders they found here and there - she was able to push them like they were balloons.
That had been three days ago - since, the two of them had managed to build up two layers of the wall all the way around. Nails worked okay for the ends of each log to attach it to the frame, but Toby found that the same makeshift cementing that was used for the foundation could be applied to the logs to keep them together.
Unfortunately, this proved to be difficult, since the stuff would freeze up. Therefore, Pacificae had to use her body temperature to keep the paste from stiffening so it was still useful. As it turns out, jackalopes were marsupials, so there was a handy-dandy pouch where the paste could be stored.
Toby rubbed his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. Pacificae eyed him suspiciously as he did this, clearly not believing his lie. Wiping off his damp cheeks with the sleeve of his coat, he looked up at his progress. At this rate, his house would be finished within the month, but things would definitely go slower as they had to build higher up.
"Well... you ready to work, Peace?" he asked his jackalope, and she nodded.
Grabbing his hatchet from its resting place against a tree on the edge of the clearing, the two of them made their way through the forest to look for a suitable tree. Pacificae determined this by sniffing at the bases of the trees. If they were beetle-infested or brittle, she would know.
It wasn't long before they found one, and that's where Toby came in. Clutching the handle of his hatchet smartly, he scratched out a mark at which he would cut the tree. He raised the tool behind his head and began his work, slowly ebbing away at the sturdy trunk. The longer he did this, the more accurate he became.
Figures, he thought to himself as he paused to catch his breath after the ninth swing. Practice really does make perfect.
Ten minutes later, a loud cracking resonated through the woods as the tree plummeted to the forest floor. As soon as it had settled, Toby and Pacificae began removing branches and twigs, so that it would become an official log. After this had been finished, the two of them hoisted it from both ends (Toby held the lighter end) and slowly made their way back to the construction zone.
When they had arrived, the two of them placed the log on top of the others, resting it against the frame. Toby then turned to Pacificae.
"Paste," he grunted.
Pacificae reached in her pouch and pulled the container out with her teeth, then gave it to Toby. Picking up a thick brush (Hearth's Warming gift, courtesy of Star-Bright or whatever the hell her name was), he began applying the stuff as quick as he could. The two of them then held the log in place as the cementing paste set.
When that had been completed, Toby hacked off the excess lumber on either end of the log and hammered the ends into the frame, for extra stability. The nails were short, but he discovered that it still worked if you applied them to the ends of the log at an angle.
The two friends then took a short break, admiring their work. They were getting better at this.
Unfortunately, this process would have to be repeated for a long time before the walls were complete.
Sighing, Toby slumped down against the nearest tree.
"Well, I'll be - you look plumb-tuckered out there, fella!"
Toby gave a start and whirled around to discover the source of the voice. At the edge of the clearing stood a bright orange mare with a stetson on her head. Her blonde mane and tail were both held together by hairbands at the ends.
"Er..." Toby said warily.
"Sorry - didn't mean to scare ya," the mare said in a thick southern accent. "Twilight told me ya'd be up in this here area, and Ah thought I'd meet ya."
"Sorry, didn't catch your name," Toby said tersely, getting to his feet.
"Applejack," she said, eyeing him with a sudden curiosity. "Ah hope I'm not imposin' or anything."
Toby relaxed a little. "Twilight mentioned you - you were one of the friends that was going to question me, weren't you?"
Applejack nodded slowly. "Ah didn't really want to, ta be honest. Keepin' an intelligent critter such as yourself behind bars seemed pretty darn unnecessary. Ah knew you'd be nothin' harmful after Fluttershy told us about her interview."
Toby felt a genuine smile stretch across his face. "Thanks... that means a lot, Applejack."
Something that Toby never really told others was that he was really good at seeing when someone was lying to him. He could tell by just looking at them - when someone was lying, they had a game-y look on their face. Only the most adept poker players could lie to him and get away with it. The country-style mare in front of him was definitely not lying - she gave off a vibe that he could trust, similar to Twilight.
"Well, of course - Ah can't say I've ever seen anything like ya before, though," Applejack replied with a friendly curiosity. "What do ya call yerself?"
"I'm a human," Toby answered, picking up his hatchet. "Or homo sapiens in the language of intelligent people -"
"Old ponish?" Applejack guessed.
Toby blinked. "What? No - Latin. I named Pacificae here using the Latin language," he replied, gesturing to his fuzzy pal, who had watched the whole thing unfold calmly.
"Well, I'll be..." Applejack muttered in awe, looking at Pacificae. "A real jackalope... and here Ah was thinkin' they were a myth..."
"She sort of started following me, so now we're buddies," Toby said quietly.
The two watched as Pacificae licked her paw and rubbed it over her face to remove dirt, in the same way a cat would. After a moment, Toby cleared his throat and rested the hatchet on his shoulder.
"Well... I should probably continue work on this," Toby grunted, interrupting the silence. "This needs to get done so I don't have to sleep under the stars."
"Whoa - now hold on," Applejack said, taking a step back. "Ya can't just sleep under the stars!"
"I can, and I will," Toby replied stubbornly. "I've already turned Twilight down, so don't even offer."
"Alright, alright," Applejack said calmly, raising a hoof. "If ya don't wanna take mah offer, that's perfectly fine. Ya have the right to your own decisions."
"Thanks, man," Toby said tiredly. "Also - not to be rude or anything, but can I get back to building my house?"
To his surprise, Applejack smirked. "Ah figured ya'd say that. Twilight said you wouldn't be deterred." She turned around and hollered down the hill, "Big Macintosh! Hurry and get your flank up here!!"
Seconds later, a very large, red stallion appeared next to Applejack. He looked very calm, but also like he could blow your house to splinters with a fart if he wanted to.
"Toby, this is mah brother, Big Mac," Applejack explained, gesturing to the buff stallion.
"H'lo," Big Mac replied. Definitely the strong and silent type.
"Anyway, we'd like to help ya out with your project here," Applejack said proudly.
Toby's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?"
"Eeyup," Big Mac replied.
"So what can we get started for ya?" Applejack asked brightly.
Still a bit shocked from the sudden help he had received, Toby looked around for anything that might have needed to be done before the walls. Finding nothing, he turned back to the two siblings.
"Alright... erm... let's go find a good log, I guess."
Hey all! It's been a long time since I "ended" this story, and looking back I just wanted to explain a bit.
First off, then ending. I did not do this story justice at all. The past few years have been really tumultuous for me personally, and it was hard to keep writing. Especially hard to keep writing with any heart in it.
That being said, any spinoffs are extremely welcome!! Even encouraged! There are so many open paths that this story could go down. I personally won't continue. This story brings me bad memories of when it was being written. Regardless if any writers want to write their own ending, or even a spinoff (as mentioned before) please do!!!!!
Thank you all for the support. I was in way over my head for parts of this (especially those related to PTSD, no idea what I was thinking). At the end of the day, you read this story. Whether you liked it or not, thank you so much. It's the reason I write. :)
More than anything, I really apologize for the awful ending. Looking back it just didn't do the story justice.
Hopefully I get to see some fun spinoffs!! Happy writing!!
~M
