My Little Program

I walked down the road towards the center of town, using my data self to get directions. While I was walking I saw many ponies pass by, all of whom were friendly and waved. Continuing down the road I reached where I wanted to go.

It was an immigration bureau. Obviously it would be much harder to do things if I had no forms of citizenship. Walking inside I saw that it was relatively quiet, with only a few ponies at the reception. Walking forward I saw a white coated mare look up at me.

"Hello and welcome to the Ponyville Immigration Bureau. How can I help you today?" She said kindly.

"I would like to apply for citizenship please." I said. The mare then pulled out paperwork and handed it to me, easily trusting much?

Name. Huh. Haven't thought of one yet. Maybe a band name, no, that's dumb, only a huge nerd would do that. How about something techy? Yeah that could work. I pondered the name for a bit. It took a while for a name to dawn on me.

Andromeda Bender.

Next was my sex. I could choose either or, but I'll stick with male.

Height, easy. An even 6ft'.

Race. Unicorn, don't want people to think I'm royalty.

Town of birth. I can't really put one down, it would give me away. After all, no ponies live outside of Equestria. I put down Unknown and moved on.

After putting down some extra information I gave the papers back to the mare at the reception.

"Now all I need you to do is to have your picture taken. Please, stand in front of the camera." I did as such. A few moments later I was walking out of the building with an ID and multiple forms in my hand, and I went off into the setting sun.

After walking aimlessly for a while, bored because I had no idea what to do now, heard something in the distance. It was the sound of a mare in tears. Following the sound I reached an hidden alley. Looking carefully around the corner I saw something disgusting.

A pinkish purple colored mare with a purple colored mane was in tears as several goons pounded away at her.

"Shut the fuck up you damn bitch. Unless you want us to just kill you." He grunted at her, making her almost cry even more.

I couldn't take the sight for more than a few seconds. I quickly charged my hand blasters and shot two in the back, sending them flying. The third was brought out of his rape euphoria of the mares mouth at the sounds.

"What the fuck!? I'll kill you!" That honestly sounded like something a video game goon would say. He pulled out a gun and tried to shoot me, but ran up to him at lightning speeds, and knocked the firearm away.

I grabbed the stallion by the head and kneed him in the face, several cracking sounds filled the area as he quickly fell unconscious.

The other two stallions got up and pulled out their own firearms. As fast as I had before I zoomed behind them and smashed their heads together, swiftly knocking them out.

I then ripped off some of their sleeves and used it to tie the goons together. After doing so I went up to the most likely mortified mare, who stared at me with fearful eyes.

"Are you ok?" Suddenly, instead of a response, the mare pulled me into a hug as she cried into my neck. I saw a phone on the ground and picked it up. When the mare calmed down a little bit I showed her the phone.

"What's the number for the police?" I asked, she was still terrified but responded.

"000" She said. An easy enough number to remember. I impute the number and called.

"Ponyville Police Department."

"Hello a mare has been raped." I responded

"Where are you located."

"In an alley on Jack street, in-between Apple and Stride street."

"Okay, we are sending police and medics to your location, please remain there." Then I hung up.

Twilight Sparkle was worried. Her student and friend Starlight Glimmer was supposed to be at work hours ago. Now being a princess and a police officer made her worry very easily, especially when her friends are involved.

As she waited, her walkie talkie went off.

"Attention units. There is a reported B-20 going on on Jack street between Apple and Stride street." That was only a few blocks from where she was. Twilight quickly picked up her walkie talkie.

"This is officer Sparkle reporting in, heading to B-20."

Quickly she drove to the scene. When she got out she saw a familiar looking mare.

"Starlight!" She said in surprise.

"Starlight!" The purple police pony shouted as she got out of her car. The now identified Starlight quickly looked up to see her, and silently ran into her arms. When she let go the officer looked to me with narrowed eyes.

"What happened?" She sternly ask while approaching me, a clipboard and pen levitating into her hands as she got closer.

"It started as I was walking down the street and overheard crying. I followed the sounds and found those stallions behind me trying to rape that mare. I shot magic bolts at them before knocking them out before they could do anymore damage." I explained, the purple police officer wrote it all down before looking at the knocked out stallions.

She took off the ripped cloth and replaced it with handcuffs and threw the unconscious ponies into the back of the car and shut the door.

"You're going to need to come down to the station with me, as a witness you'll be needed to testify." Ok that seemed fair enough.

As I was sitting in the station I watched as ponies of all shapes and sizes moved around and went about their lives. I was brought out of it by the purple pony walking up to me.

"Come with me, the chief wants to meet with you." Uh oh, that's not good.

As we walked into the room, I saw the blinds on all of the windows were closed like in those old shows I would watch. The darkness of the room also matched with the stereotype. In the desk in front of me, a large grey and brown stallion sat, looking very upset.

"Sit down please." I did so.

"You were involved in something bigger than you think." Oh shit. "You see, that mare that was being raped was the student of one of Equestrias princesses, and these stallions in particular are in a group of very dangerous gang called The Hoof. Now this shifts to you, you were able to incapacitate three notorious gang members when not even a royal student was able to, and it is because of this I have something to ask you." He said as he stared me right in the eyes.

"How would you like a job."

Wut.