What a wonderfully fucked up life (rewrite)

by JJcrafter50

The Behemoth

Previous Chapter

(POV Jekyll)

In front of me stood the beginnings of something magnificent. It was the skeletal frame of a massive machine that could easily surpass any of the ponies I had come across so far. It vaguely reminded me of a Tau mech suit but somehow it felt more...human. It's hands had five blocky fingers (Including the thumb) the hand which sported an extendable blade was then connected to its massive arm which supported four-inch thick mithril plating and a rocket booster located on the elbow. Both it's arms then connected to its broad chest which housed a single nuclear reactor which was wrapped in copious amounts of lead and was supported by a steel frame which held up the half foot thick mithril plates on it's chest. The behemoth's legs were built much like those of a human but on the bottoms of the feet were multiple rockets which could be used for jumping or slowing falls. Like it's arms the legs supported four-inch thick mithril armor and on the back of the boots were small rockets to increase kicking power. It's head was a pentagon-like shape of mithril with four blue eyes which in reality housed energy beams. The behemoths true sight came from the five cameras positioned on it's body it had three on its head and two on the chest.

"And you're done now just to activate your personality subroutine and weapons, I think I'll set it on random," I pressed a few buttons on the keypad on my wrist telling the machine to go through a system check and activate the personality randomizer. "And here we go."

"Behemoth mark 1 ready for battle...performing a systems check...Checking weapons systems," It's right hand pulled into it's arm and was replaced by a glowing yellow cannon but was returned to it's original form soon after. "Plasma cannon online," The tips of all ten fingers then began to glow as electricity coated each arm but was launched from the fingertips," Electro cannon online and charged," The back then opened up allowing for a three-barreled autocannon to fold out. "Heavy autocannon ready for battle," Once the autocannon retracted into the body of the machine it thrust it's left arm forward allowing for the extension of a five foot glowing yellow blade. "Energy blade hot, activating personality matrix."

"Well here we go," I waited and watched as the machine's eyes changed from blue to a dark red

"Hey, there boss man ya ready for battle."

"Why would I need to be ready for battle," I said while reaching for my pistol.

"Cause of the bugs in the hall my sensors count twelve," He activated his energy blade and I watched as the heat radiating from it turned the stone floor to lava.

"Hey Behemoth might wanna cool your sword a bit or your gonna melt through the ground," I said coolly while extending two of my own blades. "Let's try not to waste ammo."

"Names Titus and I'm cool with no guns so long as we get to rip an tear."

(POV Drone)

The queen has ordered us the top infiltrator squadron to capture Celestia's newest weapon and I, unlike the others, feel honored at this privilege. We should always feel honored to serve the Quee-SQUISH!

(POV Drone 2)

"What in Tartarus is that thi-SHING!" A glowing blade cut me in half stopping my sentence but not my brain well not until the massive boot crushed my skull.

(POV Drones 3-6)

We barely had time to register our companion's deaths before two of us had our heads' cut off and one of us was kicked into a sixth tripping them and allowing for both of our chests to be crushed underneath a massive metal boot.

(POV Drone 7-9)

"HAHAHA It's like shooting fish in a barrel," Laughed the massive behemoth. "Boss permission to activate the bug zapper?"

"Permission granted," The metal beast right arm glowed with electricity before bolts of lightning turned my comrades to ashes and I barely had enough time to register the pain of my face melting under the electrically heated metal hand.

(POV Drone 10)

I decided my best bet was air and so I jumped into the air and flew out the window only to be struck by a flying tube which then exploded.

(POV Drone 11-12)

I along with my companion gave up and were dragged by the behemoth into a room and tied up. We watched it leave in awe at what it and the smaller one had done.

(POV Titus)

"Yo boss the bugs are dealt with what now?" I said while turning and spotting the twenty guards who had lost their lunch while another ten lay on the ground from having passed out. "Awe come on I'm not that ugly."

(POV Stormy)

Unfortunately, I and most of the guards were in the barracks when the changeling alarm sounded and in our scramble for weapons none of us thought to teleport and it was because of this that we, fortunately, didn't see the entirety of the battle between Jekyll, the Changelings, and a golem of some kind. The golem quickly blocked my path after speaking asking if it was really that ugly.

"Golem as one of Equestria's royal guards I order you to stand down," I said to it calmly. It was a well-known fact that many golems were used for construction purposes but like all golems were programmed to obey the guard in case of emergency.

"Nah I'm fine right here," It's hand turned into a glowing tube and a blade jutted out of it's forearm. "The boss man hasn't given ya permission."

"Golem I demand you allow me to pass," I yelled at the clearly defective creation.

"Titus let her pass she is not a threat to us," came the voice of Jekyll.

"Yes, sir," The golem's sword pulled into its arm and it's cannon became a hand. "But if the bitch pulls a weapon I'll fry her with lightning," It's hands were covered with lightning at the statement.

I turned to Jekyll and began to speak. "Jekyll the princesses wanted to talk to you,"

"Yeah sure thing just lemme catch my breath," said the clearly not tired Jekyll. "and yea let's go."

As we began walking the golem followed behind Jekyll who I assumed was it's creator due to it's obedience. As I was looking at it I saw it extend a large triple barrel cannon over it's shoulder and begin messing with it.

"Yo boss I think the autocannon is broken," The machine said. "It ain't spinning when I activate it."

"Follow Stormy I'll work on it," Said Jekyll as he calmly hopped on the golems back and began tinkering with the cannon.

"So golem what is yyour designation and purpose?" I asked it.

"Name's Titus and my purpose is to help out the boss."

"Who is this boss you speak of?"

"My creator of course but ya'll know him as Jekyll."

"Oh...how the buck did he create you so fast?" I asked in wonder.

"Well, the boss is pretty good when it comes to tech."

"BANG!" I looked up just in time to see Jekyll be launched off of Titus' back due to a large explosion.

"Like I said pretty good," He let out a rumbling sound like a Chuckle.

"That was pretty good?"

"Hey at least nobodys hurt."

"Gun is fixed," came the tired voice of Jekyll who had decided that six small barrels were better than three medium barrels. "Bullets were too big to fabricate with the nano-lathe in the chamber," he said as if I should easily understand it.

"Oh we're here," I said when we suddenly came upon the door to the dining room.

"Oh lunch yes," said Jekyll.

"No, it's dinner you worked through lunch."

"Oh."

(Titus)

I found my creator quite interesting. He at times he held himself like a general of many battles and at others, he acted like a child in a toy store. The purpose of my creation was clear to me once I set my sights upon the beings that ruled these lands. My creator was frightened by the beings he found himself surrounded by and with good reason. Within the first five minutes of me being booted up and my systems being checked my creator was attacked by twelve bug-like creatures ten of which were killed and two taken prisoner for questioning and experimentation.

We were then approached by large horse-like beings that easily towered over my creator but were dwarfed by me a few even passed out from the sight of my blood stained body. The boss as I had decided to call my creator put on a mask of calm and acted as if he was unaffected but when I looked through the camera at his face I saw horror at what he had done and watched me do. So as he was collecting himself I played the part of dumb behemoth protecting it's master and during our walk made up an excuse for him to not have to talk and just rest.

My cannon while not malfunctioning could use some upgrades and while the boss worked I detected an upgrade that gave me a lesser form of his fabrication powers that would allow me to heal from any wound no matter how grievous. Once we reached the door he created a small concussive explosion using a missile and launched himself backward using rockets on his suit. He arrived between me and the guard just as the doors opened and he walked face first into one of the creatures that immediately began yelling about monstrosities and idiotic beasts which then led to the extension of all of my weaponry.

(POV Celestia)

I seriously hope he falls off a cliff and onto some rocks and is eaten by wolves. These were my thoughts as I watched Blue Blood yell about peasants and the stupidity of my guards who had been killed by multiple Changelings when they broke in apparently they were looking for my new superweapon whatever that meant.

"-lestia can you believe that these idiots would expect me to pay when it was clear that their cart was in my was. It was preposterous so I ordered the guard to lock them up and you know what the did?"

"No nephew whatever did they do?"

"They laughed it off and walked away. Seriously who does that to me prince blue blo-OOF," Blue Blood had managed to somehow get close enough to the door to get bumped into who I believed was Jekyll. "You idiotic beast get out of my way now or else I'll crush you for I am prince Blue Blood," He said his horn glowing

"You and what army," Came a deep rumbling voice as I saw a massive golem walk in bending down to fit in the door. On it's left arm was a glowing blade and its right had become a massive cannon with a six-barreled musket on the right shoulder.

"W-what are you?" he quietly asked.

"I'm your worst nightmare bitch," It said menacingly it's cannon becoming a hand and throwing Blue Blood out the door and we all heard the sickening crunch from the hall. "One less asshole in the world," said the giant retracting it's weapons into it's body and sitting down in the corner.

"Thanks, Titus," said Jekyll. "Hey Celestia sorry about your hall."

"What about my hall?" I asked

"Oh it's nothing but I hope you have a tough stomach and like the color green," he said calmly. "I know I do.


Author's Note

hope you like it and hey ya'll get a bit of info on Jekyll so tell me what I did wrong or right and if I can improve.

also about the grammar, if anyone wants to help just message me.

Also here's a pic I used for the base of Titus