Ocellate

Ocellus stared dully at the wall and listened to the muffled voices beyond her door. It was hard to make out everything, but she could catch enough.

More than enough.

“...long has it been?”

“...days. She won’t leave, and Thorax is…”

“...probably for the best. She did…”

“...if Chrysalis ever…”

“...are scared. They think…”

Ocellus groaned and sunk her head into the pillow, trying to drown out the voices. She’d heard that same conversation over and over, from whichever drones had been posted outside her bedroom, and she was already sick of it.

Everyone knew.

Of course they did, why wouldn’t they? Thorax had asked the guards to keep the events of that night secret – the last thing the hive needed was believing their queen was about to follow in Chrysalis’ hoofsteps – and every last one of them had sworn their silence. Upon their return to the hive, the rumour had spread like wildfire almost immediately. Drones liked to talk, it seemed.

Ocellus didn’t blame them. She deserved it, really, their fear and their distrust. She would have felt exactly the same in their hooves. She felt exactly the same in hers, now that she knew how easy it was to slip, for her true self to come out.

Don’t think like that. That’s not you, you’re not that monster. You’re just believing what Chrysalis wants you to think.

Maybe. But it had been so simple to fall before, and that reassuring thought had no conviction. And how could she ever face her subjects now? She’d failed her maiden flight, returned without a clutch, and rumours swirled about her encounter with Chrysalis. The first day, everywhere she walked she could see the drones muttering and whispering and shooting her troubled glances when they didn’t think she was looking. There hadn’t been a second day; Ocellus couldn’t face any more of that.

And so she lay here and the events of that night spun through her memories and she waited for… something. She didn’t really know what, only that it would come from Thorax.

Perhaps he’d imprison her. He’d dress it up for her own safety and she would agree even though they both knew he’d be lying. Or maybe he’d send her back to Ponyville. That was the best outcome, but Ocellus wasn’t naive enough to believe it was likely. And even if he did, it would do nothing dispel that shadow hanging over her. What if she changed in front of her friends? What if she was doomed to become that monster again and next time no one would be able to snap her out of it?

Most likely Thorax would have picked a new mate for her. There wouldn’t be a maiden flight this time, he wouldn’t take the risk, and Ocellus would just have to give the hive a clutch. Just do what she was supposed to, be who she was supposed to be, no transformation, no fangs, no anger. Just clutches and breeding and Responsibility.

None of those options were particularly appealing. And so Ocellus had shut herself away instead of having to deal with the stares and rumours and regrets. It hadn’t really worked – alone with her thoughts was no place to be, and she’d heard enough of the drones’ gossip filtering under her door that she hadn’t even gotten away from it.

She wanted to go back to Ponyville, she wanted to be with her friends again, she wanted to leave her Responsibility behind, leave that terrible night behind and go and be just Ocellus again, with no title to worry about.

A pipe dream, nothing more.

The guards outside fell abruptly silent, and Ocellus perked her ears up just in time to hear a soft knock at her door, one that she recognised even before Thorax’s voice came through. “Ocellus, it’s me. Can I come in?” She sighed. Inevitability had caught up with her; there was no getting out of it. Better to just get it over with.

“Okay,” she called back, and then buried her head in the pillow again so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

They hadn’t really talked about that night. Once he’d recovered – aided by the entire hive sharing their love – he’d avoided her. Or maybe he’d just wanted to give her space to brood. And maybe he’d finally decided it had been long enough that she had to do something else now.

She felt the end of her bed sink down as he sat next to her, just like he had when he’d told her about the previous queen, when Chrysalis had been nothing more than a ghost story. She still almost was – everything about the clearing had taken on an almost transient quality. Her memories of Chrysalis were of teeth and darkness and green, glowing eyes, and she understood why her mother had always garnered such fear. Even after meeting Chrysalis and facing her down, confronting her in a way that almost no one would have ever dared – that Ocellus would have never expected to dare to do either – the old queen seemed ever larger and more intimidating each time she remembered it.

Chrysalis really was a monster, in the purest sense, and monsters thrived in imagination.

“Hey,” Thorax said, lamely. “How are you feeling?”

Ocellus shrugged. It said everything it needed to. “What about you?” she asked, after a moment.

“Better than I was,” he replied.

She hated this. Was he trying to rub it in her face, make her remember and force the guilt into her? Chrysalis’ words rang through her head

He’s kept you complacent, obedient.

and she hated it because no matter how hard she tried to deny them there was always that little ring of truth. Chrysalis was too clever, so quickly turning her against Thorax, and even after denying Chrysalis and rejecting her transformation Ocellus couldn’t shake those nagging thoughts from her head. And she’d seen how dangerous they could become, which made them all the worse.

“Can I see it?” he asked.

Ocellus rolled over, presenting her flank to him. His expression darkened as he reached out a hoof to gently trace along the deep, silvery scar where Chrysalis’ magic had burned into her, right through the chitin. She hadn’t noticed the wound at the time, adrenaline keeping the pain muted, and then they were flying back and her flank had started to burn and she looked back and saw blood running all the way down her leg. Thorax’s hoof was warm as he ran it along the spider-like crags the magic had left behind, and then he pulled back, biting his lip in concern.

“You could always change it,” he suggested. “If it bothers you. I know it’s not as simple as just reverting to your native form, but maybe once you get used to it?”

“I quite like it,” Ocellus said, smiling despite herself. “It makes me feel brave.”

“You were,” he said, and now he was smiling too even if his eyes weren’t.

Here it comes. He’s going to give you his mandate again.

Ocellus was ready for it. She wasn’t going to fight him anymore; whatever he’d decided, she would do it. The guilt wouldn’t let her do anything else. If he needed her to be a demure, obedient queen – if the hive needed it – then that’s what Ocellus would be.

“I’m sorry,” Thorax said, his voice cracking around the edges. “I’m so sorry, Ocellus.”

This was not what she’d expected.

“This is all my fault,” he continued. “I pushed you away, I asked for too much, and I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise. You just wanted to protect the hive.”

Thorax shook his head. “You’re our queen, but you’re also my daughter. That comes first, always. I want you to know that, and I’m sorry that I lost sight of it.”

This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be the one apologising, not after everything she’d done. It only made the guilt worse, made her feel even more ostracised. Ocellus knew she didn’t deserve it, and she wasn’t going to let Thorax humble himself when it should have been the other way around.

He should have been angry, or scared, or both. Or something. Anything but this. He was supposed to have orders, duties, Responsibilities for her to follow, one last chance to prove she was loyal to the hive. Or maybe not even that, maybe he should just lock her up and throw away the key.

But perhaps Ocellus should have seen this coming after tasting all the love he’d had for her.

“Don’t be stupid,” she said. “I almost killed you.”

He was smiling again, despite his eyes misting up. And yet this time it felt more real. “I knew you wouldn’t. You’re better than Chrysalis, you’re good. She’ll never understand that, and it’s why you’ll always beat her. But it’s my fault that you were in the lion’s den in the first place, and that should never have happened.”

“Stop it,” Ocellus said. “You didn’t know that was going to happen. You couldn’t have.”

“But that doesn’t mean it should have.” Thorax took a long breath. “You should go back to Ponyville. I’ll arrange an escort as soon as possible, and then you can-”

“But what about the hive?” she asked. “I thought we needed new drones.”

“We do,” Thorax admitted. “But not if it means losing you. I’ll placate the others, somehow. It’s not your concern.”

Hot rushes of indignation began to rise up through Ocellus. “No, that’s stupid.”

“What?”

She sighed. “I’m the queen. And I’m not just going to be an egg-layer, or spend the whole time breeding.” Ocellus hesitated, staring down at the scar on her flank. “But I’m still the queen. I’m the only one who can do this, and if I’m going to rule the hive one day then there are things I have to do.” A slight quirk of a smile. “Responsibilities,” she said. “And this is one of them.”

“But you-”

“I’ll take a mate,” she said. “For one clutch, at least. And then I’ll go back to Ponyville.”

There was a long silence. “Are you sure?” Thorax asked, eventually.

That was her out, she knew. Thorax giving her every opportunity to change her mind and bow out while she still could. But she’d changed. Chrysalis had changed her, Thorax had changed her. She’d seen what a bad queen could be. And so, instead, Ocellus nodded with finality.

“I’m sure,” she said.

“Okay,” Thorax said. “Thank you, my queen.”

Ocellus couldn’t help but giggle a little. “You don’t have to call me that, Dad.”

“Sometimes I do,” he said. “You can take your time choosing a mate. I know it’s a hard decision, but-”

“I’ve already picked one.”

“...you have?”

She nodded again. “A queen has to pick the best drone as a mate. That’s her duty, right? And I know who the best one is, now.”

Thorax blinked in surprise. “You do? Well, that’s great. I can have them brought up to you whenever you like.”

She shook her head. “They’re already here.”

His confusion was obvious as he glanced around the room as if expecting some changeling to pop out from a dark corner. She gave him a meaningful look and realisation dawned, his eyes going wide with shock.

“Wait, Ocellus, you can’t mean…”

She nodded. “You’re the best of them,” she said, quietly. “It has to be you.”

“I’m your father. We can’t-”

“And Chrysalis is your mother, that didn’t stop you before.”

“That’s completely different!”

“No, it isn’t,” Ocellus insisted. “She was your queen, and now I am. It’s exactly the same.”

“You don’t want this,” Thorax said, practically begging. “Pick another drone, don’t ask me to do this.”

“It has to be you,” Ocellus said again, although her surety was starting to slip. “For strong drones, and for the hive, and… And…” She paused, frantically searching for more excuses. He knew her too well, though, somehow almost better than she did, and he saw through her attempts so easily.

“What is it?” he asked. “If this is just because you still feel guilty, you’ve got nothing to-”

“It’s not that,” Ocellus said. She took a long, shaky breath. “I’m scared,” she told him, and goddess was it hard to look at him now, trying to find anything she could stare at instead. She settled for casting her gaze down towards the bedcovers – that felt safer. “I want the first time to be with someone I love,” she said, “and someone who loves me back. I want it to be with someone who cares about me, more than any other drone would.”

“Ocellus, I-”

He was going to say no. She could hear it already, but she had to convince him. If she was going to do this, it had to be with Thorax. Ocellus didn’t want anyone else.

“Please, Dad, it has to be you. Don’t make me find another drone.”

“I’m not making you do anything. You don’t have to do this.”

“That’s not true. And I want to, with you.”

And now she did look up, and he was still staring at her with incredulity, but she could see something else there, too. Could taste it in the air. Understanding. Compassion. Love. Thorax didn’t want to pair her off with some unknown drone, either. And why would he? She was his daughter, his queen. She was important, and she deserved to be loved and cared for, especially the first time.

Or maybe Ocellus was reading too much into it. Either way, she took advantage of his moment of hesitance to lean forward and pull him in for a kiss.

She’d never kissed anyone before – not properly, anyway – and Ocellus suspected she wasn’t very good at it. Thorax went entirely stiff, and she hoped that was surprise and not her technique, although she thought it could have easily been both.

Ocellus pulled away, watching him carefully as he reeled a little from the shock. He was reading her carefully, and when next he spoke it was with every effort to sound calm and measured even if she could hear the wavering in his voice.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

Ocellus remembered his love, how much he’d held for her, how it had coursed through her as she shared it with the world, so powerful and plentiful. “I’m sure,” she said.

Thorax nodded, and when he opened his mouth to speak she leaned forward and kissed him again. Again he stiffened, but this time he began to relax after a moment, even starting to kiss her back. His efforts were as clumsy as hers, and Ocellus wondered if he was as new to this as she was. It would make sense – she doubted Chrysalis had been a particularly caring partner. Most likely the old queen had just taken what she needed and nothing more.

But Ocellus wasn’t going to be like that. In so many ways she was going to avoid becoming like Chrysalis again, and this was one of them. Her drones weren’t tools, weren’t just studs to be used and forgotten about, and Thorax especially wasn’t.

She’d never forget that again.

Ocellus gave as much as she took this time, letting her own love for him fill the air, mixing with his as they slowly began to drop down to the bed together. His hooves were around her, holding her tight, roaming down to her flanks. They paused for a second as he brushed against her new scar, and Ocellus was worried he’d changed his mind, but then he just held her closer, kissed her even more passionately.

She could feel him, now, stiff and hot and pressing against her stomach. It felt exactly as intimidating as she’d imagined, and she was almost scared to look at it. It seemed so big as it rested against her, and those old doubts of how something like that was ever supposed to fit inside her resurfaced. She broke off their kiss again, and then her eyes were drawn inexorably downwards, towards his stallionhood between them.

The sight did nothing to reassure her. It seemed somehow even bigger now she was actually looking at it, thick and flared at the end, and it twitched a little from excitement as she stared. And yet, despite her nervousness, despite how scary it was, seeing Thorax so excited made a little flutter settle through her, sinking all the way down to between her legs with a shiver of anticipation.

What would it feel like, thrusting into her? Ocellus wasn’t completely naive; she’d enjoyed her hoof and magic before, but she wasn’t ignorant enough to imagine that was anything like the real thing. And, as nervous as she was, her own growing excitement was undeniable as she squeezed her thighs together with another shudder of desire. Ocellus reached down with an unsteady hoof, gently taking Thorax’s cock in her grip and smiling when he gasped.

“Is it that sensitive?” she asked, out of genuine curiosity.

Thorax nodded, but he didn’t need to – he twitched again in her grip and told her exactly how he was feeling. And even without that, she could taste what she was starting to recognise as lust as it poured out of him. Out of both of them. Gently she began to stroke him, her hoof playing clumsily along the entirety of his length as he grunted in pleasure. Maybe it didn’t matter that she didn’t really know what she was doing. Maybe Thorax was sensitive enough that she could do almost anything and still please him.

Ocellus thought it was more than that, though. He was only this excited because it was her, because her queen had chosen him. Drones should always be eager for their queen, that was an absolute. And indeed, of all of the choices Ocellus had made since her return to the hive, this was one she knew she wasn’t going to regret. Nothing else had felt so right, so natural as taking Thorax as her partner, being wrapped up in him, feeling him straining against her ministrations as he was overwhelmed with the desire to mate.

A queen needed her drones, and right now Ocellus needed Thorax more than she’d ever needed anything.

She lay back, pulling him down too, and Ocellus could feel his length pressing against her carapace, stiff and ready, as he lay atop her. He was panting a little now, both from their earlier kisses and raw lust, and all the love within him was rolling off in thick waves, suffusing the air around them. She couldn’t help but eat even now, and knew he would be doing the same, that her love would be just as plentiful.

“Are you ready?” he breathed, and she could feel him shifting a little above her, unconsciously rubbing himself against her.

Last chance to back out.

Ocellus nodded, ignoring the little voice. “But… Go slow,” she said, quietly.

“I will.” He slid back a little, tilting his head down as he carefully aligned himself. And then, after a moment more of fumbling, she felt the head of his length start to press against her, gentle but insistent. But there it stayed. Was it not going to fit? Was he not even going to get it into her?

Thorax leaned down again, planting a kiss against her neck this time, and then murmuring beside her. “You have to relax,” he said.

“You can’t just tell someone to relax,” she snapped. “When does that ever work?”

“It’s okay,” Thorax said, not dissuaded by her harsh tone. Ocellus already regretted it – her nerves were getting the better of her – but at least he hadn’t taken it to heart. “We can take it as slow as you need.”

And, strangely enough, that did help. His kisses split her concentration, and Ocellus found herself unconsciously leaning into him, a warm flush rising through her body. And then she felt herself start to part for him, felt him start to push into her, and oh fuck he was big this wasn’t anything like a hoof oh fuck how much of him was there?

True to his word, Thorax went slow, making sure she was used to each inch before pushing further, but now Ocellus wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. She shuddered and bit her lip and whined in either need or pain, even she wasn’t sure anymore, and there was just so much of him and it didn’t ever seem to stop and taking it slow only meant that he was drawing it out ever longer.

Thank the hive she’d chosen Thorax, thank the hive it hadn’t been with Thrips or any other eager drone. She knew they wouldn’t have been this careful, and even now it was still almost too much as she felt herself stretch around him. Still more, ever more, thick and pulsing within her – so hot, so stiff.

And yet, despite the sting of pain, despite how big he felt inside her, there was also some deep, primal satisfaction. Some part of her that demanded more, demanded that Thorax give her everything he had. An instinctive part of her brain delighting at the prospect of being bred, of fulfilling her role as queen, of letting Thorax rut her until she couldn’t move. And that part was making her so wet for him, and even as he grunted above her she could feel him slide ever more easily into her.

And then, with a soft bump, their hips met. He was inside her, fully, as far as he could be. His cock twitched again, and he muttered something under his breath that she didn’t quite catch. He looked up at her, and though she could still taste even more lust rolling off him his eyes were full of concern. “Are you okay?” he asked, breathing heavily even though they hadn’t really done anything yet. “Does it hurt?”

“A little bit,” she admitted, and indeed that dull ache hadn’t gotten any better. Ocellus shifted a little to try and make it more comfortable, and oh fuck that was strange, Thorax’s length so still and hard as iron as she moved around him. Strange, but in a way that made her shiver and gasp. Strange, but in a way that made her want to do it again, to do even more, to get him to thrust into her and rut her properly.

Where was that coming from? Was that the queen part of her, still, or was that simply what lust and desire could do? Ocellus wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure it mattered, either. She knew what she wanted, and that was the only thing that was important.

“If you want to stop…” Thorax muttered.

“No.” There was even more urgency and fire in Ocellus’ refusal than she’d intended, although maybe it was more honest that way. He couldn’t stop now, she couldn’t stop now. They’d come this far, he’d taken her first time, and she wasn’t going to give up now. Ocellus didn’t want to give up; she could feel herself clenching around him instinctively, her body doing what came so naturally. “No,” she repeated, trying to calm down as another shudder went up her spine. “I don’t want to stop.”

“Okay.” Thorax’s concern didn’t seem to be much alleviated by her reassurances, but he probably didn’t want to stop either.

“Just give me a moment,” she breathed. “It’s not what I was expecting.”

She didn’t really know what she had been expecting. Sharp pain, maybe. But it wasn’t that bad, or at least not as bad as she’d been afraid it would be. Certainly she wasn’t expecting to feel so full, so impaled on his length. Ocellus knew she was small compared to most drones, but now that difference felt all the more apparent with Thorax so deep inside her that even she wasn’t sure how it had all gone in.

And even though she’d asked for a moment, Ocellus wasn’t sure she was ever going to get used to this. It was all too much and Thorax hadn’t even started moving yet. The moments ticked by, and she still felt just as strange, just as stretched. She could tell Thorax was growing impatient, moving a little above her in anticipation, and every time he did so another shiver of delight went through her, and he would grunt as she tightened around him.

“Okay,” Ocellus murmured. “I’m ready.” She wasn’t, but she couldn’t wait forever. Her body ached for him, needed him. It was already too much and yet she needed so much more. “But go slow, okay?”

Yes for the love of the hive go slow go so slow please

Thorax nodded, and started to draw his hips back. She’d thought his slight movements had been too much already, but now as he pulled out she felt every inch of him sliding against her, and a desperate whine escaped her lips. And then he paused, and that just made it even worse. Now she just felt hollow, like something that was supposed to be there had been taken away. And now he’d stopped and he was supposed to be filling her again why was he doing this to her why wasn’t he fucking her?

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, with infuriating patience. “If it hurts, we can stop.”

“Stop saying that.” Ocellus could hear the layer of lust beneath her words even though she hadn’t meant to put it there. “Just stop talking. I’ll tell you if it hurts too much.”

It hurt too much.

It didn’t hurt enough.

Ocellus wasn’t sure where the ache ended and the need began anymore, they were starting to mix together and become all the same. It hurt, yes, but it would be so much worse if he stopped now.

Either Thorax finally put his fears to rest or she’d been firm enough that he knew better than to question her again, as he gripped her waist and began to thrust back into her, so slowly, just like he’d promised. Unbearably slowly, impossibly slowly. Again she could feel every inch of him as he pressed against her in ways that her hoof never could, deeper than even her magic had ever reached. She felt herself raising her hips to make it easier for him to slide in, and he did exactly that, all the way to the hilt again.

But this time he didn’t even pause before pulling back again. And this was it, they were mating now, properly, and every time he drew back Ocellus yearned so badly for him, and every time he thrust in again she gasped and shivered and her legs twitched. This wasn’t anything like she’d imagined, and she certainly hadn’t expected all the love that flowed so freely from him. Ocellus wondered if that was how sex normally was, if just because it was Thorax and he loved her more than anyone ever had.

She supposed it didn’t matter.

What mattered was Thorax above her, was the way his grip on her waist tightened a little with every oh so gentle thrust, was how he grunted and gasped at every little movement. He enveloped her – completely, absolutely – and she felt so small and warm and safe beneath him. There were no doubts anymore. Thorax loved her, in every way, and another little shiver of delight ran through her at the thought.

He was holding back, she knew. She could tell. His teeth were clenched, his eyes full of desperation and want and adoration as he stared down at her, his length straining even as he tried to stay slow and gentle for her. But he wouldn’t do any more unless she asked. Ocellus was grateful for that, made her choice seem all the more right. She didn’t think Thrips would have been so gentle. He would have fucked her, bred her, but this was different, and she didn’t need to feel all the love that emanated from Thorax to know the difference between rutting and making love.

And yet, as her body eased into it, as at last she started to grow accustomed to the feel of him buried inside her, Ocellus found herself wanting more. Thorax had been gentle when she needed him to be, but now it no longer felt like enough. She was still tender, but it felt as though something was missing, incomplete. With every slow draw out of her she longed for him to plunge back in, and her hips bucked up whenever he thrust forwards in an attempt to pull him deeper. She wrapped her legs around him to try and urge him onwards, but he wouldn’t. He’d promised to be gentle, and unless she said the words, gentle was how he would stay.

“Please,” she said, an embarrassed blush warming her cheeks. “Harder.”

Thorax hesitated, although he couldn’t help from biting his lip at the words. “Are you sure?”

“You don’t have to keep asking.”

He was still uncertain, and so Ocellus leaned up to pull him in for another kiss. This one felt better. Perhaps she was getting used to it, or maybe it was just a result of passion now that she wanted him so badly and wasn’t overthinking it anymore. Either way, this one was different, and in the best possible way. This one left them both gasping when she broke away, and that symphony of emotion that poured of them was all the brighter for it.

“I’m sure,” she said, although the kiss had said everything already. “I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

It would hurt, Ocellus was pretty sure about that. But that was okay, she could take it. She wanted to take it.

And so when Thorax pushed in again, hard, his hips colliding with her, reaching deeper and further than he’d ever gotten before, Ocellus couldn’t help but cry out and clutch him tighter. And it did hurt – the almost familiar ache replaced by a sharp sting – but it was more than matched by the fiery satisfaction that came with it.

This was better. Yes, it hurt, but it was still better. Her mate needed to be strong, her mate needed to be powerful and rough, just like her brood would be. And Thorax might not have been the most physically impressive of her drones, but he was strong in a way that mattered far more. Stronger than any of the other drones, stronger than she was. Strong enough to stand up to Chrysalis, twice, and win.

And for all her insults and degradations, even Chrysalis must have thought so to let him mate with her, and Ocellus wondered if there was some grudging respect buried beneath her otherwise pure hatred. Either way, Thorax was perfect, and she was proud to have him as a father, prouder still to have him as her mate.

And even as her back arched and she moaned a little as he bucked into her, Ocellus couldn’t help but dwell on how this would end. He was going to rut her, impregnate her, be the father to their children. The same thought had seemed so terrifying before, but now as she tightened around Thorax and he gave a particularly hard thrust in return the idea just sent another rush of pleasure through her. Thorax was going to breed her, and she wanted nothing else.

Maybe the queen hadn’t entirely gone out of her after all.

The sharp sting had all but been replaced by warm, content pleasure – a rising, tantalising excitement that swelled with every single one of Thorax’s thrusts. His face was tightened with effort, and every time he pushed forward into her it was a little stronger, a little harder. Every time his grunt of effort and lust was a little louder, deeper, closer to a growl.

If the queen inside Ocellus was coming out in her lust then so too was the drone inside Thorax as his usual, nervous demeanour faded. He didn’t seem nervous, or scared, or worried. Thorax just seemed hungry, and as he fucked her – and it was fucking, now, Ocellus could feel the difference – his thrusts only grew more savage and bestial as instinct took over.

She clutched futilely at the bedcovers, as if that would do something to stop her head from spinning in pleasure, would keep her grounded, but it didn’t help. There was only Thorax and sex and breeding and nothing else, Ocellus losing herself completely in desire and want. If she’d known it could be like this, she’d never have hesitated. She’d have named Thorax as her mate from the start and pulled him to her bedchambers and let him do whatever he wanted, as long as it felt like this. As long as he promised this wouldn’t be the last time, that he would mate with her as many times as she asked, as many times as she needed. It wasn’t even about the hive anymore, or about her eggs, if it had ever been. It was only about him. Only Thorax.

And she could feel that pleasure rising up within her – surging, rushing, filling her. Each one of Thorax’s increasingly wild thrusts sending another shock of satisfaction through her. Her breaths coming in rapid pants as she tried to stammer out words.

“I’m going to...”

Ocellus couldn’t finish, her sentence devolving into another half-sigh, half-moan. She was so close, and even just forming words seemed too difficult, focusing on anything else was.

But Thorax knew what she meant anyway. “I’m close too,” he breathed, but again he didn’t need to, again his body had already told her everything. His cock seemed to get even thicker, even harder, his thrusts were erratic and needy even for Thorax, and she could see the tension in his jaw as he clenched his teeth together.

“You’re so tight,” he added, under his breath, and she wasn’t sure he intended to say that out loud, or if he even realised he had done.

But it was no surprise. Ocellus was small, yes, but also she’d been keeping such a tight grip on him without even thinking about it. She couldn’t help but try and hold him whenever he drew back, tightening around him in a purely instinctive attempt to keep him from pulling away.

Don’t leave. Stay, stay deep, give me everything. I want it all. I need it all.

And even if that wasn’t really how it worked, Ocellus couldn’t keep from feeling a little pang of need every time he drew back, leaving an impossible emptiness behind. Before, she had felt overwhelmingly full whenever Thorax buried himself inside her, but now she was used to it and it was the thought of him pulling out that was terrible instead, that made her chase after him with bucking hips, wrapping her hooves so tightly around him, clinging on as her body begged him to come back to her.

And then Thorax would always oblige and she would shudder and moan and rather than feeling full it was more like she would feel complete. Ocellus would feel like a queen again.

His thrusts were so rough now, his grunts so vicious, and when Ocellus came it was so hard and sudden that it almost took her by surprise. Her mounting pleasure tore through her at last, as she cried out her climax loud enough that the guards outside would almost certainly hear if they hadn’t already. Ocellus didn’t care. She wanted them to hear as their queen became who she was meant to be. The entire hive could know for all she cared, as long as it felt like this, as long as she could taste all of Thorax’s love for her as he rutted her into the bed and prepared to make her a mother.

Because that was what a queen was. A mother to her changelings, in every sense. Ocellus understood that now; she’d learned it from Chrysalis and now she could feel it too, every single part of her longing to feel Thorax fill her, breed her, make her the queen she was born to be. And even as the aftershocks of her orgasm shuddered through her she could still feel that longing, that incompleteness that only Thorax could fix.

And he was on the verge of doing just that, she could tell. He was so close, but for some reason he was holding back, something keeping him from just letting go and giving Ocellus what she so desperately needed. And then she realised.

He was waiting for her permission.

Maybe subconsciously, but that’s why he was holding back, why he was trying so hard not to cum. And that was okay, that was right – waiting for his queen’s permission was how it should be.

And she would give it to him.

Ocellus pulled Thorax close, kissed him gently, tenderly, and then whispered as he stared at her, enraptured. “Cum for me,” Ocellus murmured, and there was that reverberation in her voice again, but this time she wasn’t scared of it. This time it was born of desperate desire instead of fear and anger. “Be a good drone, and breed your queen.”

It was all the encouragement he needed.

Thorax shuddered as he thrust forward one last time, his hardest one yet, his grip on her so tight as he practically pinned her beneath him. She felt him flare even wider inside her, pushing as deep as he could, and then shooting warmth as he came inside her, each spurt accompanied by a low grunt of satisfaction, each pulse sending another satiated shiver through Ocellus. Again and again, and she felt that warmth surge within her, and then finally Thorax slumped down on top of her, exhausted and spent.

The warmth within Ocellus spread, settling through her, and somehow she knew that it was done. She was carrying a clutch of her own, now, and even though it was still a little scary there was an overwhelming sense of contentment at the thought that almost – but not quite – entirely drowned out her worry. She was a queen, she was a mother. She was made for this. And her brood would make the hive stronger, better. Her drones would love her, and unlike Chrysalis she wouldn’t need fear to cow them.

She kissed her father again, deeply, enjoying every bit of him. His taste, his scent – the tang of sex unmistakeable in the air. And together they lay like that for a long time, Thorax still hilted inside her until he softened and drew back into his sheath and left Ocellus feeling so empty once more.

She was sore, and tired, but in the best of ways. And as she lay there, wrapped in a loving embrace, Ocellus’ thoughts began to drift. For the first time since they’d returned, they didn’t drift back to the forest, back to pain and guilt and fear. Sharp teeth glinting in the darkness, reptilian, green eyes staring out between the trees and haunting her every waking moment since. Haunting her dreams, too, inescapable. Chrysalis’ laugh echoing in her mind when everything was quiet.

But not tonight. Not anymore. The only sound was Thorax’s breathing, the thump of his heart against her chest. The air full of their love for each other, as intertwined as the changelings themselves were. And her thoughts didn’t drift to the past now, but to the future. She wondered what laying a clutch would be like. That was scary, too, but not in the same way. Ocellus was sure it would come naturally, and Thorax would be there for her so she could always make it through, no matter what.

And she also wondered when she would next see her mother. She would see Chrysalis again, of that much Ocellus was certain. The old queen wouldn’t let this lie, wouldn’t ever give up on her hive or her revenge. And Ocellus knew that because she knew first-hoof what being Chrysalis was like.

She’d felt all that anger, all that hate, all that desperation that had turned her own carapace as black and twisted as Chrysalis’. She’d felt that longing for power that still lingered in the back of her mind, and she’d seen the damage and hurt it could cause if left unchecked. But even that wasn’t scary, not anymore.

Because Ocellus had the hive, and she had Thorax, and she’d never let that side of her take hold again. And whenever Chrysalis confronted her, Ocellus would be ready. Ocellus would be strong.

Ocellus would be a queen.

But that was for later, and her thoughts drifted further still, losing coherence and fading into that dreamlike place between sleep and waking as she snuggled into Thorax’s embrace. Like she had done back when she was a nymph, but it seemed so long ago now. And while she’d grown up, and while this was a very different embrace, it still held all of the comfort and love that she remembered, that Chrysalis had tried to make her forget.

Thorax hugged her close and murmured under his breath. “Thank you, Ocellus.”

Ocellus didn’t know how to reply. She didn’t think she needed to. Instead she just held him tighter, and soon the little queen sank contentedly into sleep, nestled in her father’s hooves.