Contemplations

Barely a thought left,
I feel hollow.
I cling to my hope; to my sorrow.
Hopefully for me,
There will be a new tomorrow...

She humiliated me, made me weep;
Now she's invading my sleep.
Isn't my life and dignity enough,
That she must rack my mind with thoughts of doubt;
Remind me why my life is so tough.

Dragging my tail through the dirt;
Keep myself moving,
To avoid the hurt.
Every new town is a new opportunity for me,
But more often than not,
I'm a failure for all to see.

Why do I keep myself going,
When I'm always left with nothing?
To garner some sort of achievement;
Fulfilling some sort of appeasement?

Keeping my step,
I cannot afford to rest.
My steps echoing out into the dark;
Ringing off the bark,
In the forest of the lonely hearts.

Where I'm going, it does not matter.
No one to find me when I'm gone;
Perhaps this was my destiny all along?
Transcending to a forlorn,
Harrowing foregone whisper of a song.

All I seem to be,
Is an unwanted pain in the neck,
Doing them a favour,
It would only take one small step...
Off into the abyss I would go.
The future seems hollow;
It would rid me of my mourning,
To never see tomorrow.

Bright light on others' faces,
An entertainers' end?
The welcoming stage is.
But the cries of appeasement have waned and ceased,
Their jeering 'lies' perhaps hold some truth it seems...

I've taken a step back,
Why did I do that?
Never mind, another step forward;
The chasm seems less welcoming,
Now that I know what I truly step towards...

Second thoughts; beckoning calls,
Promising me a better life;
Joyous tolls.
Trying to sway me from my true cause;
Its better like this, don't they see?
The wholly welcoming embrace of death welcomes me...

Pattering hitting the ground,
Wondering: what is that sound?
Rain falling from the sky,
Or just tears rolling from my eyes...
Too long I've been behind my pride;
This is not something I ought to hide.

My achievements aren't for naught,
Only what I sought.
A purpose steeped in banality,
Power hungry;
Cheap fury.
Perhaps it was no wonder I wasn't seen...

Grounded trepidations,
Is this an overzealous bet?
Although the symptoms aren't onset,
Has due care been truly met?
Perhaps then,
This isn't for the best...

But with all my possessions in ruin;
How can I set a goal again,
Without the means to become whole again?
Or perhaps they're just petty lies...

The painful torment released through my eyes;
Searing wounds too open to hide;
Needles of rejection keep them wide.
All I've ever wanted is someone by my side.
No hidden truth from them;
No need to hide.

Bubbling emotions rising up again;
This is all too much to take in; too much pain.
I've made my decision,
This happens tonight.
I'll take my final step.
Because after all,
What's the point in my miserable life?

"WAIT!"