The Timepony’s Journal

The TARDIS rematerialized by the seaside, the waves crashing and rolling while seagulls soared overhead. Inside the ship the Doctor was staring at Sea Shanty and Pearlescent Aura. They were both speechless, marvelling about the impossible dimensions of the ship. Only moments ago they were outside at Canterlot Gardens to return the key that Petunia had left behind. They weren’t even aware that the TARDIS had moved.

“Good heavens!” exclaimed Pearl.

“Blimey, where did all of this come from? Some kind of magic artefact, is it?” Sea asked, looking over all the controls on the console.

“The Tardis is nothing of the sort, and stay back from those controls!” the Doctor snapped.

“The what?”

“The Tardis, my time and space ship, sir. You entered in the midst of dematerialisation.”

Sea and Pearl just looked at him a bit dumbfounded.

“Well uh, why don’t you just undo what you did and we’ll be off.” Pearl suggested.

“I can’t. That’s the, the cause of half of my troubles through my journeys. I can’t control where we arrive.”

The Doctor looked over the readings before he opened the door. The two newcomers were gone before he even had a chance to comment. Following them outside the smell of saltwater lightly stung their nostrils.

“It’s lovely. Awesome trick you got there.” Pearl said while combing the beach.

“Lovely?! I need to report to duty in a couple of hours, duchess. Else my commanding officer will have my hide!” Sea called out, Pearl going further down the shoreline.

Neither of them seemed to fully believe the Doctor’s word on the TARDIS travelling through time and space. It was probably just teleportation magic to them. The Doctor was somewhat cross as he had another pair he had to get back home. Why were ponies always sticking their noses in things they shouldn’t? There was a village in the distance, they could call a ride home from there. He could just leave, not even bother to sort out this mess. Oh who was he kidding. The Doctor quickly followed after Sea and Pearl as they wandered off.

The seaside town was small, constructed mostly of bricks and wood. The highlight of the town was the still unfinished church on the highest cliff by the sea. Pearl was acting as if she were on vacation while Sea was trying to catch up with her. Observing the architecture, the Doctor was trying to work out the precise era that they were in. He’d hardly had the time to check the date and location before they rushed out the door. It looked about the 9th and 19th century depending on what calendar you used. It was hard to tell as towns like these tended to be frozen in time at a first glance. Finally Pearl stopped outside of a small tavern, the pair taking their time to catch their breath.

“Goodness, gracious me, don’t move so quickly.” the Doctor huffed.

“Sorry about that, I just love exploring old Baltimare.” Pearl replied.

“Baltimare? Get off. It’s not possible to teleport that far.” Sea retorted.

“And I’ll have you know that I’m certain that I’m right. My grandmare took me here all the time when we visited in the summer. The barber’s next to the baker, besides the bank down the road. Best place to get a sandwich with coffee down that way.”

The Doctor was rather impressed. Her knowledge matched the geography perfectly. Maybe they hadn’t moved in time at all.

“You have a point there. I’ll go inside, see if we can phone home so everypony knows where we went.”

“And I’ll get us something to eat. I’m absolutely famished.”

The Doctor just sighed and let them go in. He felt the call to leave again, but he had to know that they were safe. A loud noise caught his attention down the nearest alleyway and he decided to take a look. Crates were knocked over as a group of bandits were fighting another stallion. There was nothing that he could do, he was too old and weak to fight. In the blink of an eye the bandits stabbed their victim in the chest and left him for dead. None of them noticed the Doctor as they quickly fled the scene. Quickly rushing to his side, the Doctor did his best to stop the bleeding. Unfortunately it appeared far too late for him, the Doctor didn’t even have the proper tools. Beckoning the Doctor closer with his dying breath, the old stallion gave him one last message.

“Tell Starboard: the key shall rise where Celestia greets the land. Below is Chariot, Veneer and Gurney. He’s…in the tavern.”

The stallion passed away in the Doctor’s hooves. This only spelled trouble, the stallion’s words hanging over his head. To him they were just another nonsensical riddle that he had to solve. He quickly pulled himself up and dusted himself off before entering the tavern. The Doctor nearly had a heart attack when Sea tapped him on the shoulder.

“Sorry, I just wanted to know if- what’s the matter? You look like you met the grim reaper.”

“In a way I have, young stallion. I’m afraid that I’ve witnessed a murder.”

“You what-”

The doors to the tavern burst open, the room going silent. A dark brown mare with the mane the colour of seaweed crossed the room. A sword was sheathed beneath her wing, a scar crossing over her right eye. The Doctor was catching on by now. Pirates, genuine real pirates.

“Which one of ye is Starboard?” she asked.

The crowd parted around an ocean blue stallion in the middle of his drink. One of the thugs from earlier smacked his cup away, the drink spilling on the floor. Starboard looked down at it, slightly dejected.

“I wasn’t finished with that yet…”

Looking back up, a sword was mere inches from his nose.

“Well, I hoped ye enjoyed it, fer it was yer last.”

Starboard leaned over just as a blade swung over his head. A few hairs dropped from his head as he came back up with the tankard.

“Thank you, I was looking for a manecut. Always too many bits for one and they always cut it too short.”

Swing after swing, Starboard merely stepped aside from the blade as if it were nothing. In one swift motion his assailant was flipped over and onto a table. Only then did Sea enter the scuffle, throwing punches and trying to protect Pearl. Even with the absurdity of the situation he still didn’t hold back. The Doctor desperately tried to reach them, lost in the fray of the fleeing crowd. While pushing through, Starboard grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him out of the tavern.

“Get your hooves off of me! What is the meaning of this?!”

“I’m guessing that you have the message? You’re older than I expected, but dressed like that it’s not hard to tell who sent you.”

“Now I haven’t the faintest…ah, I see. So you’re the Starboard I was told about. I should have known.”

“In the very flesh. So, how’s Shady Skies doing?”

“Ah. He’s dead.”

“What?”

“That mare’s ruffians, they dealt with him beside the building in an alleyway.”

“Sweet Celestia.”

“He was sent to deliver a message, I presume. He told me: the key shall rise where Celestia greets the land. Below is Chariot, Veneer and Gurney. Complete nonsensical riddles to me.”

“I understand it completely. I was sent here to conclude some final business on the behalf of Captain Sparrow. Always said that she’d retire on her riches or drink herself to death. I should have known that it would lead to this.”

“I believe that’s my business concluded then. I’ll simply be collecting my companions and that will be all.”

“Oh no you’re not. If she saw them standing out as much as you were then the Mare of the Isles has them. Any knowledge of what we’re doing here today is impossibly valuable. I know where we’re going next, and if you value your friends then I suggest you come with me.”

“But what is this all for, hmm? What is this all for?”

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re finding Sparrow’s last treasure.”

“Manacled to a wall…not even my first day and I’m already in chains. Thought they were having a laugh there.” Sea sighed, his forelegs chained to a wall.

The Mare of the Isles’ henchponies had overwhelmed Sea. Pearl tried to help but wasn’t as capable at fighting back. They were currently both in her ship being held prisoner.

“What did you expect from pirates?” Pearl asked, also manacled to a wall.

“Real pirates? Get off. This is just a practical joke gone too far.”

“The barmaid didn’t know what a telephone was, or manners either. Maybe what the Doctor said was right.”

“Heh, might be a blessing if so. I’m not several hours late for duty, I’m several centuries early.”

Pearl smiled, glad that he wasn’t in as much of a mood anymore. A scrawny stallion sat down on a bucket, a cutlass by his side. He stared at the two of them down like a predator surveying their prey.

“I think ye know how this goes. Don’t try to deny it.” the scrawny shipmate said, pulling out the cutlass and holding it to Sea’s cheek.

Sea looked him dead in the eyes, not even flinching.

“What do you want to know?”

“The treasure, ye numbskull! Cap’n Sparrow sent ye one last message, the clue to ‘er stash. I need tah know what she said word-fer-word. Ye wouldn’t want tah be returned to the sea inch by inch, would ya?”

The shipmate winced as Pearl plucked a hair from his tail. Quickly turning around, Pearl now found herself at the edge of the blade.

“Careful, dude. Nopony messes with…the Mare of the Radio.”

Sea just looked at her confused, Pearl side-eying him nervously as she continued.

“A single hair can link the soul to my power. The flowers speak to me, the forces of nature uh, they bridge between thyself and the uh, spirit realm.”

The shipmate just stared at her completely confused.

“Ye really thing I’d believe that yer a witch? Ye may be speaking in tongues, but I ain’t daft.”

“Care-careful mate, she isn’t messing around. You can feel it, can’t you? You can sense your breathing, it’ll drive you mad.” said Sea as he caught on.

“N-no, I- what sorcery is this?”

“Flower power, baby. Unchain us, before I curse ye to have serenades haunt ye for eternity.”

“J-just reverse ye hex! You ain’t getting nothin’ from me!”

Pearl smiled and simply said “Groovy”. The shipmate yelped in fear before unshackling them. He bolted, yelling about forgetting how to breathe and not being paid enough.

“Okay duchess, I’m more convinced. Unless he’s had a few too many I don’t think anyone would be convinced by that performance.”

“Nice one coming up with the autonomous breathing bit. Now we just need to get off this ship and back to the Doc.”

“Eh, that might be easier said than done.”

Looking out through the porthole they could see the shoreline, only several hundred metres away.

“Hopefully the Doctor is getting on better.” Sea sighed.

The Doctor huffed as he continued to trek up the hill. The church wasn’t very far out of town, though he was definitely getting winded faster than he used to.

“Please, slow yourself. I’m no eh, spring chicken.”

“Not much of an adventurer in your younger days, were ya?”

“Precisely the opposite, young lad. Time simply takes its toll on all of us.”

“That’s not much of a calming thought. I bet you’ve seen and sailed every sea in Equestria?”

“And beyond, in a sense.”

“Beyond? Now that’s certainly a sight that I’d like to see. Let’s rest for a moment, tell me your tales o’ weary traveller, wise beyond your ages.”

The Doctor chuckled as he laid down on the grass.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, sir.”

“It got me where I am. How did you get here, exactly?”

“It’s a rather long story. The Tardis, my ship. Has few eh, faults.”

“Heh, don’t they always? Where’d you run from? Definitely something of ‘high society’ from the looks of ya.”

“Whatever makes you think that I’m running?”

“It’s how all pirates are. We were good little stallions and mares in the eyes of the law, in society. But then our higher ups give us an impossible choice, a question of authority, something. Unless you fall in line with the way they think and the way they act, you’re cast out.”

“I am no pirate though. I am simply an explorer, a researcher if you will.”

“But you left your home behind, didn’t you? I can tell that you’re missing something or someone. It’s always the eyes and demeanour that give it away.”

The Doctor was somewhat flabbergasted. Nopony had really understood that part of his life in a long while.

“Well…I asked a question, er had a question. In the face of evil, why does good always prevail? Good is inherently illogical. It requires compassion, self-sacrifice, love. Reality is far from the fairytale that we tell foals at bedtime, so why isn’t the universe governed explicitly by those rules? Why would a revolution for good ever win?”

“Because evil is nothing but fire and rage. It burns, it simmers in our hearts and destroys anything that it touches. However every flame requires constant fuel to keep it going. Good is like the sea. It is patient, near eternal. The water may evaporate in the heat but it still rains. Even the greatest of fires can’t outlast the rain forever.”

The Doctor paused, contemplating those words. He simply nodded in approval as he stood up.

“Are you sure that you aren’t a pirate?

“Hmmph, perhaps. However my ‘treasure’ wouldn’t be worth any monetary value.”

“Got it, the treasure is the friends that you made along the way.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes and continued the journey up the hill.

“You still haven’t told me precisely why we needed to convene at the church.”

“Simple, the riddle was a clue. The key will arise where Celestia greets the land. This is the highest point in the town, where the sun rises first and sets last. Not only that but this is the Church of the Holy Sun, at least it will be. The ground Celestia walks on is considered holy, and it doesn’t get more holier than her own church. Come on.”

Back aboard the ship, the Mare of the Isles was reaming out the shipmate who let their prisoners go. Sea and Pearl snuck around, finding a hiding spot behind the corner between the captain’s quarters and the stairs to the lower deck. They were at the back edge of the ship, the deck mostly empty. There were two lifeboats on either side of the ship though probably too far to just run to.

“Alright, what’s the plan of action Cap’n Sea Shanty?”

“Very funny. There’s only three of them and two of us. One of them will probably run with their tail between our legs so I could easily take on the other. The captain is our biggest problem. What we need is some kind of distraction.”

“Hmmmm, how much would you wager on steering this ship to shore?”

“W- Pearl, no. You can’t just sail this ship to shore.”

“Why not. You’re a sailor, this is a ship, that’s what you’re for, isn’t it?”

Sea just stared forwards, completely lost for words while trying to process what she said. Meanwhile Pearl was sneaking off, a barrel on top of her for cover. Sea nearly had a heart attack when he processed the ridiculous display. The two shipmates ran behind their captain, yelling something about witchcraft again. Rolling her eyes at their simple-mindedness, the Mare of the Isles simply flipped the barrel over. Pearl just froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Ye really be trying me patience, lass. I ain’t no fool, I know yer old feller has the clue now. Do ye know where he’s headed?”

“Uuuuuuh…no. Wait, why do you think the Doctor has the clue?”

“Because me stallions are idiots who didn’t think seeing ‘em off with Starboard didn’t mean nothin’. They left who we were supposed to capture fer dead, so he’s all we got.”

“You didn’t think to supervise? To make sure that your bloodthirsty idiots didn’t even attack the wrong stallion?”

The Mare of the Isles drew her sword, ready to cut off Pearl’s tongue. She stopped as Sea untied several of the ship’s sails. The little wind that they had was just enough for them to move. The two shipmates tried to stop him, but in one quick turn the ship lurched to the left. While it was a slow turn it was enough to catch them off guard. Pearl picked up one of their dropped swords, though she didn’t know how to use it in combat beyond a blind swing. Rushing to his side, Pearl quickly gave it over to Sea.

“Just what I’m for, eh duchess?”

“Aye, aye, captain! I’ll take the wheel while you fight them off.”

“What?!”

“Sword fighting is not a part of basic naval training I take it?”

“Not for my division, no!”

“First thing for everything then. Hold on to your hats!”

Starboard looked curiously out one of the church’s windows. He squinted at the ship in the distance, watching as it started to approach the shore.

“Doctor, we’re running out of time. I think we may have company very soon.” said Starboard while jumping over a pew.

“That’s good. If Pearl and Sea are aboard that ship then they’re within reach of rescue.” the Doctor replied with a smile.

“That’s the spirit, now help me move these crates.”

“Ah, to beneath the church, I presume?”

“Exactly!”

Shoving some supply crates out of the way revealed a hatchway to the church’s crypt. The stonework was in pristine condition and the air smelt of fresh oak wood. However the crypt was completely empty, not even any supplies for construction present. Picking up a lamp, the Doctor pulled out a matchbook from his jacket pocket. He followed Starboard, shining the flame over the row of graves. Tracing his hooves on the stone, the Doctor read the etched in names.

“Here we are, Chariot, Veneer and Gurney. Once my fellow crewmates.”

“Now I understand. A pirate captain placed her trust the most in the crew. All the way to the very end it seems. Quite poetic, hmm?”

“You could say that. Nopony but us knew each other's real names. Once the last of us are gone then the clue would lose all meaning. Baltimare is where we first became a crew, it all ends where it began. There’s hundreds of graves across Equestria, there’s bound to be duplicates with the same name. Still, to be buried here amongst the eventual heroes of Baltimare. Not just anypony is buried in this crypt, at least not when it’s finished. It’s what they would have wanted.”

“I see. My deepest condolences.”

“Thank you Doctor. Nopony else would say such a thing to a pirate, even on their deathbed.”

The sound of a small pirate army could be heard from outside. The ship had docked alongside the shore, though crashed might be a better fitting term. The two quickly left the crypt and re-hid it by pushing back the crates. There was a banging on the church doors, muffled yells coming from outside.

“You still any good with a sword?”

“Err, no. An acquaintance of mine was taught by the Royal Guard but myself, not so much.”

Starboard drew his sword, ready to mow down a pirate army. The Doctor held out a hoof when he recognized those voices.

“Could be a trap” Starboard suggested.

The Doctor shrugged and let them in anyway. He nearly fell over after being swept up in Pearl’s hug. Smiling and patting her back, a warmth filled the Doctor’s hearts.

“There’s three others…coming. Captain and her mates…aboard the ship when we were. We got a head start but…they’re still on our tails.” Sea sputtered through labored breaths.

“Then we must leave at once. Any back entrances?” the Doctor asked.

“One, but they’ll be tearing this place apart looking for my captain’s treasure.”

“Pearl, Sea, did they have any knowledge on our current whereabouts?”

“No, they knew nothing. The Mare of the Isles, geez, bit of a mouthful, threatened me with a sword, but I didn’t tell ‘em nothin’.”

“Absolutely splendid, my dear! They likely haven’t the faintest idea of this church’s significance, let alone our location.”

“Then the treasure is safe? I can just…sail away and it’s all over?”

“Certainly, my colt. You seem disappointed.”

“Well…it’s not exactly a grand battle with a fight for my crew’s honor.”

“I see. You have many years ahead of you, and to let them go would be a terrible waste. I respect you, I believe that you’ll go on to do great things. Move forth and forge a new family of your own.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I’m still not sure if I’ll be able to have a life beyond all of this. This was meant to be it, I’ve seen so much, I’ve done things that I’m not proud of. I know that you understand.”

“Well, if you wish, I do believe that there is at least one thing that is left to see in this world.”

“That’s your ship?”

Starboard looked back at the blue Police Barn, dumbfounded and unimpressed. To him this was just an average crate with an odd color. The Doctor opened up the doors to his confusion and let the others inside.

“Oh I do believe that appearances may be deceiving. Come inside, if you wish.”

Upon entering, Starboard was shocked by the spacious interior. Stepping back out he walked a full circle around the box. There were no telltales of tricks or illusions. Going back inside was just as daunting as the first time.

“I did mention every sea in Equestria and beyond. We are wanderers in the fourth dimension, able to explore all that there is to offer. The navigational unit is err…unreliable, however I can promise things that have rarely been experienced by even my eyes.”

“I really thought that I’d seen everything that this world had to offer.”

“As did I, once. Perhaps, you’d be willing to join us?”

Starboard briefly thought it over.

“No.”

“No?” the Doctor asked, rather surprised.

“No. This was already my last mission before I retired. The life we live, we either go on until we die or we just stop. I’ve been out on the sea for nearly half of my lifetime. If I were to join you, then I’d truly never stop. I’d love to join you, but I mustn’t.”

“I see. Very well then. It was very nice to meet a fellow traveller such as myself.”

“A fellow pirate, no doubt. One last thing, try not to die out there.”

Starboard did a quick wave before leaving, closing the Police Barn doors behind him. He watched as the TARDIS faded away into nothing, no trace it was there besides an outline in the sand. To the Doctor, it was as if he’d left behind a brother or a son. He hadn’t felt this kind of connection, the desire to answer that question since his granddaughter joined him. Somehow the answer that Starboard gave him comforted him, gave him a peace of mind. Sea and Pearl were talking while he aimed to get them relatively close to home. It was Equus, incredibly cold outside and the Yearometer was jamming. Lovely. Turning on the scanner revealed a complete whiteout.

“Where have we gone now, Doctor? Forwards or backwards in time?” Pearl asked.

“I have no idea. I have no control over such matters.”

“Oh come off it. I still don’t believe that we actually travelled back in time.” Sea scoffed.

“Because Equestrian pirates still roam the seas? In 966?” Pearl quipped with a smirk.

“Well, it better be 966 or I’m in dead trouble. Anyways, wherever it is can’t be as bad as where we just left.”

“My dear colt, it could be a great deal worse.”

Pearl shivered as the console room became colder. A little light came up on the Fault Locator with a serial number for the malfunctioning part. It didn’t take a genius to know that the external temperature buffers were going out again. It just couldn’t handle intense heat or cold, ironically the exact thing it was built for.

“What’s happened, Doctor? I’m freezing!” Pearl shivered, her breath visible.

“Yeah, it’s getting right parky in here.”

“Just look up at the scanner.” the Doctor pointed out.

“We have arrived in the coldest place in the world.”