The King of Starbucks

"Get me a small, non-fat, regular, coffee with a Boston Cream donut!" I ordered while making a fresh pot of medium-roast. My minions obediently followed my demands.

"I need a refill for this mare over here!" I dashed down the counter with the grace of a gay Olympic figure skater. Several mares swooned at the sight of my gorgeous body.

"Can someone please clean coffee pot three?! We can't use it until it's cleaned again!" I moved in between the tables, quickly cleaned them with the aid of my magic. I heard the "clicks" of cameras documenting my epic badassery.

These demands went on for three hours. I made sure the staff did their jobs, kept up with customer demand, and ensured their satisfaction. I also changed the mixture recipe for the coffee to make it taste good instead of the watered-down shit they used to serve, and the result? Nearly twice the amount of regular customers started coming in, which greatly impressed the Manager.

I did my part as well. I made sure everything remained clean, took out the garbage, gave the local mare population delightful eye-candy, and even helped out my fellow employees. I did everything a General Manager should do. Which greatly impressed Coffee Crips when it finally came time to check up on me.

"Well, I'll be," Coffee Crisp smiled approvingly. "Not only did you survive rush-hour, but you kept the rest in line. Not bad. Not bad at all."

I gave her a shrug, "I'm used to being under pressure, and coffee. I'm all about the coffee."

Coffee chuckled, "I've noticed. Our coffee hasn't tasted..." she paused to take a blissful sip from her personal mug, "...this good in a long time."

"I'm glad you enjoy it," I nodded politely. Coffee put her mug down upon her desk. Her face turned stern. I sat in front of her in the uniform I borrowed several hours ago. It surprisingly fit quite well. I gave her my full attention.

"Now, after observing your performance. I can tell that working in this kind of establishment wasn't your first time, which begs the question: What did you do before now?" she inquired calmly. I carefully put together my story for her.

"I'm originally from Griffonia near the border of Dragonia. Obsidian Shores is the name of the town I was born in," I began while making sure I stared directly into her eyes. "I came to this country to get away from the mercenary life with my lovely companion. As for why I'm not trying to become a member of the Royal Guard? I don't think they'll...agree to my standard of combat prowess. Killing dragons tends to be rather brutal and violent with a side of destructive power they wouldn't appreciate."

"Now, in regards to my knowledge on how to work in this area of expertise? While traveling across the eastern continent, I had to work in order to live when Dragon Hunting became a little slow. As you can see, I'm quite experienced in the customer service industry."

She leaned back into her chain with a thoughtful look. I can figure out what's going on through her mind—She thinks I'm too dangerous to have around her shop. I understand her reasoning, but she also needs someone capable of running the show while she's somewhere else. My little show earlier proves that I'm the kind of pony she's looking for, however. I don't have any history in Equestria. Thus, she's at an impasse.

To prove my skills, she'll throw something at me. I instantly activated my magic the second I saw her hoof grab her letter opener on the desk. With a flick of her wrist, the blade went flying towards me. I caught it with Telekinesis an inch from my eye. This entire act happened within a second, and I didn't lose my cool nor moved from my seat. I raised my brow at her while placing the knife back in its original spot. Next, she'll test the truth about my willingness to stay in this country without causing any trouble. I already had something in mind for that once she asked the question.

"Good reflexes," Coffee praised. "I've never seen a unicorn activate their magic and cast a spell so quickly before, especially as something as basic as TK. Normally, they would try to dodge or summon a shield. So what did you try to grab the weapon instead of blocking or dodging it?" she questioned.

"So that I can stab back into the attacker. Mage Blades are my preferred weapon in medium-range combat. A small letter opener is perfect for slitting the throat of a smartass Manager trying to prove a point," I huffed.

'Wait, Mage Blades? I don't remember ever using those. Strange.'

"Well, you can't blame a former Major of the Royal Guard for wanting to test her newest subordinate," she chuckled, taking another sip of her coffee. "And Mage Blades? Seriously? Those things are one of the most difficult weapons a unicorn can use. I'm surprised you'd dare to boast about being able to use those unwieldy things. Most veteran Unicorn Captains can't properly use Mage Blades without stabbing themselves."

"I'm used to using twelve or more made of magically created diamond with a blade sharp enough to cut the scales of dragons like a hot knife to butter. Would you like a demonstration?" I chuckled darkly back. The warm, emerald, glow of my magic lit up the room slightly in preparation for an impromptu demonstration. I don't know what's going on, but I do know that it's starting to freak me the fuck out!

'Hold on a minute! I have no fucking clue how to do that! Stop it brain! Don't make promises that you can't keep!'

Coffee's eyes went wide before waving her hooves frantically, "No, it's fine. I'll take your word for it." I felt my magic deactivate in disappointment. 'Thank, God. If I started using magic I can't do, in front of a former member of Equestria's military no less, then I could end up in deep shit. Is this because of, Q? If it is, then I'm going to be extremely pissed off.'

She recollected herself before continuing, "Now—Ahem—May I ask about this companion that you speak of? Is she the reason that you put away your armor for a more peaceful life?"

'Ah, finally. And no weird possessive urge to show my prowess to her. Good.'

"You could say that," I replied feeling a bit of heat coming off of my cheeks. The Cheshire grin that formed on Coffee's face made me wish I did start swinging around magical Mage Blades around in her office.

"Oh, a rough stallion bathed in the blood of his enemies found a beautiful mare capable of taming his fiery heart," her smug face giggled like a dirty, perverted old man. "Well, I kinda' want to meet the lucky mare now if she can tame tall, dark, and handsome sitting before me. I bet it would be educational."

"Do I get the job?" I groaned, trying to change the subject.

"Don't be like that. I bet she's a pretty unicorn, or maybe...A pegasus?"

I want to die.

"Please, remain professional while conducting the interview," my blush deepened.

"What do you like most about her? I bet cuddling. Feeling those warm feathers caress those muscles of yours. It must be divine~."

Fuck my life.

"Don't you have anything better to do than interrogate the love-life of your employees?"

"Pegasi are known to be a very affectionate race. That, and they're extremely frisky in the sack," her grin grew even more devious.

Oh. My. God.

"I don't think this conversation is appropriate for the content in which we were discussing. Speaking of which! Can we get back to the topic at hoof?" I gulped nervously.

"Nah, embarrassing you is more fun!" she cheered.

"I hate you," I replied bluntly.

She fell over laughing at my response. On the bright side, I got the General Manager position. I wish it didn't come at the cost of my sanity. I hope Angel is having a better day than I am.

oOo - Angel Blade - oOo

I stared at the castle, slightly afraid for what I'm about to do for my Prince. I never was a brave mare. I get scared at some of the most innocent things. Ever since King Sombra took over the Crystal Empire, every day of my life was lived in fear. All of my friends were murdered by that evil stallion or turned into his sex-slaves for his pleasure dungeon. My sister, my mother, my cousins; all of them became willing whores for Sombra, and I trembled in fear, crying in my home, begging to Faust to save me.

Then, in an instant, it was all over. King Sombra disappeared from the city, and everyone began walking outside again. I felt as though my prayers were answered! However, when a dark-colored stallion with the same resemblance of the King walked into the marketplace that day. I never felt such soul-crushing terror before.

I wanted to run, to scream, to fly away as far away from him as fast as possible, but I couldn't move! He pinned me into Sapphire Cream's bakery kiosk. I can vividly remember his warm, emerald-green eyes staring down at me; his deep, seductive voice, his handsome face, rippling muscles that made me wish I could rub my feathers all over his chiseled body; even his long, thick, body-destroying horn between his legs! No wonder no mare ever wanted to leave his bed after he had his way with them. They must have died from pure, unrelenting pleasure caused by his mighty scepter!

I don't remember much of what happened after he demanded my name. All I could think about was how, at least, I can see my family again, even though I'd be sharing the shaft of my sister's rapist, but that didn't happen. No, instead I found myself on a train heading towards Equestria with a stallion claiming that he wasn't King Sombra and that he was the long lost prince, Shadow Heart.

His story made sense, and it does explain a lot of the strange things about how King Sombra came into power. The Nobility couldn't fight against him since he pretended to be the real Prince of the Crystal Empire. Paired with his Black Magic, and murderous tendencies, King Sombra had no opposition to dethrone him legally. Not even the Crystal Guard could do anything to him.

When it came for asking the Equestrians for help on the matter. Those fucking Alicorn sluts turned a blind eye to our plights like always! They only stepped in to help us in our time of need when Sombra began sending his armies to their "perfect" country. Faust, it makes me sick on how hypocritical they are when it comes to protecting pony-kind from the darkness. Tartarus, I bet the ponies leaving the train were their goons sent to my home to take it over now that Sombra is gone! Well, they can try. After abandoning us over and over again, they'll find it extremely difficult to be taken seriously over there. And traveling with Shadow Heart, listening to his plans, seeing the fire in his eyes, I couldn't help but believe him. I don't know if he put me on a spell or a curse of some kind, but deep down in my heart. I knew he was the true Prince of the Empire. Thus, I chose to follow him.

'Just you wait, Equestrian scum. When Shadow Heart is back to full strength, he's going to make you regret abandoning us in our time of need.'

Back to the present, I'm going over the plan Shadow Heart tasked with me in my head all over again. The first part had me joining Equestria's Royal Guard with the backstory of me being a retired mercenary from Obsidian Shore in Griffonia. Once I'm in, I'm to acquire any and all intel regarding the current military strength of Equestria as well as the situation in the Crystal Empire. The information I've gathered over the course of six months will determine how we'll free the Empire from the Equestrians. With Shadow Heart as the Emperor and me as his...his...E-Empress.

'Ohhh! I can feel the heat coming off of my cheeks again! Alright, Angel. Stop blushing like a school filly. You're a proud member of the Crystal Guard! Act like it!.'

Slapping my cheeks, I made my way into the recruitment office attached to Canterlot Castle. Inside didn't have many ponies walking about, only a couple of colts barely out of their teens pretending to be soldiers. I automatically knew they weren't going to pass basic training with their attitudes unless Equestria's standard was extremely poor, which would be good for the Empire.

Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the front desk; my shoulders were straight, wings firmly held to my sides, steps perfectly spaced out, and eyes forward. The officer sitting behind the desk raised his brows at my practiced march before giving me a cocky smirk. I said I wasn't a brave mare before, but when it comes to combat—except maybe against Sombra—fear is afraid of me.

I gave a quick salute with my right hoof to the officer and announced promptly, "Recruit Angel Blade reporting for voluntary conscription into the Royal Guard, Sir." I could feel all eyes in the lobby staring at me at that moment, but the recruiter looked impressed at my display.

"At ease, Recruit," he chuckled mirthfully. I followed his suggestion. "I'm Second Lieutenant Swift Wing. I'm responsible for ensuring that all recruits, such as yourself, get through the recruitment process as quickly, and cleanly as possible. Now, I know your name, but not the reason for joining the Guard. Care to briefly explain while I get your paperwork together for the medical officer?"

"Of course, Sir," I nodded before I began. "I'm originally a mercenary from Obsidian Shore in Griffonia..." he tripped in surprise when I said that, but made no comment about it. "...I chose to retire from that life with my companion after one too many near-death experiences. Thus, we chose to move to Equestria for a new life. As for why I want to join the Royal Guard? I never truly liked the idea of sheathing my sword in the first place. I don't want to get rusty, and the Guard is a safe, legal way to stay in shape in that regard."

'I hope I did well, Shadow!'

Swift Wing hoofed me several sheets of paper while looking at me with slight fear. I don't know why he's afraid of me. I mean, it's all a fabrication brilliantly constructed by my Prince. His shaking hooves didn't help my current image of an Equestrian officer either. I clearly took them under my left wing with a nod and asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to know, Sir?"

He gulped, "No, that is all, Recruit. Please return them filled out and signed by Doctor Bonesaw down the left hall. Once everything checks out. You'll be assigned a barracks and begin your new life as a member of the Guard. Have a good day." I gave him a much more confused salute before following his instructions. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I'm glad everything went smoothly.

An hour later, and I've completed my first objective. I hope my Prince is successful in his mission as well. I began flying towards Town Square just as the sun began to set with a smile on my face.

Elsewhere...

'My holy Anal Penetrator finding an apartment was difficult! It took me several tries, a few hundred pockets picked and avoiding a few thirsty mares, but I finally got a decent place in the upper-district of Canterlot near my place of work. Now, where am I?' I took one look around, noticed that I'm nowhere near Town Square and that the sun began to set. One word entered my mind when I realized the situation I've found myself in.

"Fuck."