The King of Starbucks

I, Shadow Heart, came up with a brilliant alibi halfway to the destination the train was heading towards. It's quite simple really, and a stunning stroke of genius if I do say so myself. I based it all on the information I managed to lovingly caress it out of from my future wife, Angel Blade.

Now, I know what many people would think when talking about marriage with a random stranger who they just met. "It's a bad idea," and, "Don't do it, you moron," are both common and valid reasons in most situations, but in my current predicament. It's actually quite beneficial. Let me explain.

Currently, I'm the original Prince of the Crystal Empire who was kidnapped and replaced by King Sombra in an effort to take my place on the throne. While I was in my prison, I struggled to break free over the course of a few years where Sombra would entertain himself by throwing creatures in my cage for his amusement. It's a good explanation for my scars, teeth, and muscles if anyone should ask. Also, I couldn't use my magic for a long time, and due to my need for my survival. I forgot it over time. Plus, Sombra sped up the process with his Dark Magic.

I finally escaped my cage when the Empire returned from its imprisonment, and I'm now traveling to Equestria with my trusty guard, whom I've always liked, (wink, wink), to gather my strength for my grand comeback! And by comeback, I mean lying in wait until its an appropriate time to reclaim the throne for my own while living the life of a regular citizen.

Am I a bad person for playing with Angel Blade's feelings? I don't think so. After getting to know her better, she's the type of person I would genuinely wish to marry. She's honest, shy, loyal, affectionate, playful, and naturally adorable. As for the whole Pony thing? I got over it back inside the city. After all, since I'm a Unicorn. I can use magic. I've even managed to figure out Telekinesis on the train! Thank, God. Miracles do happen!

Now, I'm watching the landscape pass us by. Angel Blade sat close by, giving me shy glances every now and again with little flutters of her wings. She gradually warmed up to me when she realized that I wasn't the evil King Sombra that she learned to fear. In fact, I think she found my fake story very heroic. I won't destroy whatever fantasy is going through her mind. Right now, being honest about who I truly am on the inside matters. I'm a little relieved that she finds my true personality attractive rather than the fake one I used back in the city. I don't think I could keep up the charade for long.

It's been several hours since we left the icy tundra of the Crystal Empire. The train was now traveling through valleys of green with weather equivalent to the middle of summer. A city attached to the side of a mountain was gradually coming closer and closer, and I can see that the tracks were leading the train directly there. I made the city our stop for the time being to set up shop. My reasoning? It's in a well-defended position, large, and easy to escape from if I have to run for my life.

I've also made a story for when I arrive at our new home. Both Angel Blade and I are mercenaries from outside of the land we are entering. Our current objective is to get some rest—a vacation if you will. I've also already explained the plan for when we enter the city attached to the mountain. My part is to get a job in the customer service industry to build up my resume while also showing the local population my friendly personality. Next, I'm going to train my magic to the point that if I ever have to fight for my life, I won't die a slow, miserable death again. Once I'm strong enough to destroy any opponent in my way, I'm going to take over the Crystal Empire for my own.

Angel's part is a little more complicated since it involves her joining the local Guard to act as a spy...liaison for me. Once she's in, her job will be to give me any information about the Crystal Empire that she can find. When she isn't gathering information, she is to blend in as much as possible into her new role. She was quite enthusiastic about her new assignment.

Now that I think about it. Ever since I explained my fake background to her, she's been a little more willing to follow my orders. Does she really think I'm a prince or something? Well, if all things go according to plan, then I'll be the Emperor of the Crystal Empire. Angel, of course, will be my bride...After a few dates first. I wonder how Sofia is doing? It's a shame that didn't go anywhere. Oh well.

"Angel, how are you feeling?" I asked, looking out of the train stoically. The sound of shuffling hooves inching closer to me echoed inside the empty train car. I turned my head slightly to see Angel now sitting beside me with a tint of red on her cheeks. I still can't figure out how fur can change color so drastically.

"I-I'm doing fine, your Highness," she squeaked out. "How about you?"

"I'm doing alright, just thinking about what to do once we enter the city. We're going to need a place to stay for the time being, and I really don't want to live in a cave on the side of the mountain again," I replied with the last part to keep up my backstory. I felt a trembling wing wrap around my back in a reassuring hug. Angel gave me a shy smile.

"We'll be fine now that you're free from Sombra's prison," her smiled turned into a frown for what she said next. "I can't believe someone actually used a polymorph spell to take your place. I mean, it should have been obvious. Your eyes were always emerald-green and not blood-red and glowing; even your Cutie Mark is back to normal as well!"

My body tensed up. 'Wait a minute! Is she telling me that their is, in fact, a stallion that looks like me, talks like me, has the same eyes, Cutie Mark, and a big dick like me? Who is the legitimate Prince of the Crystal Empire?! Alright buddy, keep your cool. Don't ruin the lie and stay the course.'

I forced myself to relax, which pleased the mare now leaning against my side. I did my best not to blush at the intimate contact, but it was a futile effort if the sound of giggling was anything to go by. Thus, I let out a sigh of defeat and enjoyed the passing scenery.

We entered a massive city carved out of the side of the mountain. Alabaster stone made up of most of the walls, roads, and pillars supporting it. Canterlot, (the name of the city), was separated into several overlapping levels reminiscent of the legendary Minas Tirith. The train stopped at a station in the middle-district where it began undergoing a cleaning and refueling process. Angel and I chose to get off while the workers weren't looking.

Angel looked around with wide eyes. The number of ponies of various tribes walked to and fro to their destinations. Some of the ponies walking around were even wearing Victorian-style clothes that, surprisingly, looked quite good on them. I wish I could say the same for their stuck-up attitudes. If their noses were any higher, they would be selling their own ass. I snorted at the sight of them in disdain.

"As much as I wanted to admire all the glitz and glamour decorating the city, we have things to do," I said to the gob-smacked pegasus following me around. My words shook her out of her reverie for a moment before she realized that I was about to leave her behind.

"Sorry," She quickly rejoined me outside of the train station with a blush.

"Glad you could join me," I chuckled at her embarrassment. "Now, you know what to do?" She gave me a nod in response. "Good, I'll take care of housing and acquire a solid source of income. We'll meet up with each other in the town square at sunset. Does that sound like a plan?"

"Yes, sir," she saluted me with her wing, her eyes filled with DETERMINATION!

"Then off you go, my Love."

She tripped, but I managed to catch her with my magic. She tends to get adorably clumsy when I flirt with her. It's not a bad thing. I think it makes her rather endearing. She laughed sheepishly before flying off to complete her objective.

"Now then. Who would be willing to hire a heavily muscular, scarred up, handsomely intimidating Unicorn that's not from..." I paused to look at a stall with a bunch of maps on it. "...Equestria?"

My thoughts continued mulling over the question for some time as I wondered around Canterlot in search of a job application. It's not as though I didn't need to look hard or anything. In fact, there were several places with positions available, but I don't think; Ruby Clothing, Steelworks, or Tea Sanctuary, pardon my pun, would be my cup of tea. All of them paid more than enough for a good-sized apartment, however. None of them aided my plans at all.

I needed a job that would put me in the front row on full display, interacting with hundreds of ponies daily, while also paying enough to support two people. A fast-food restaurant would be ideal, but not one that served greasy food to the local populace. I promised myself that I would never work at a Mcdonalds again, and Hayburger is just insulting. No, I needed a semi-formal place capable of boosting my reputation, one that I won't vomit working at, and would get important people to notice me. But where?

"Get your freshly brewed lemon ice-tea here!" shouted a voice in the distance. "Ice-cold, sweet, and perfect for this hot summer day!"

The voice broke me out of my train of thought with her enthusiastic, chirpy voice. I looked around, finding myself on the upper-district of Canterlot. I felt a little confused as to how I managed to ascend two levels in under an hour. I shrugged. I'll figure it out later. For now, I have more important things to do. It's called food!

I found the location where the voice originated. I died a little on the inside when I saw a green circular sign with a white pegasus mare inside it. 'Starbucks. In this world. Kill me now.' Taking a deep breath, I made my way towards it while sneakily acquiring funds from the pockets of the local population. Telekinesis made pick-pocketing quite easy. I stashed my cash in the shape of small coins in a set of saddlebags I, "appropriated," with my magical charms earlier.

As I walked up to the storefront, I noticed, much to my dismay, a "Help Wanted," sign. Now, I don't have a particular problem with Starbucks. I simply don't like their coffee. It's overpriced, watery, and had way too much pumpkin spice. What I did like about it was its customer service. That, and I used to work there before I ended up as a hunky Unicorn. The only reason why I'm even approaching the place instead of the Griffonian Buffet Resturant down the street was that my laziness kicked in, making me give up on my job search. I figured I might as well work at the place I'm most familiar with. Plus, the spots available were the General Manager and Cashier positions. I also was both in the past. It seems fate has a sense of humor.

I walked into the cozy cafe filled to the brim with young mares and stallions trying to get their daily special with swagger. My head held high and straight, my stance professional, my chest was slightly puffed out, and each step measured and powerful. I instantly noticed that I'm the tallest pony in the store. I'm easily half-a-head taller than everyone, even a few Earth Pony stallions I walked passed. This little detail made me appear more badass than I had anticipated, but I'm not complaining.

A few eyes instantly turned to me, many of them were blushing mares giving me "dreamy eyes," while a few stallions either glared at me or realized their puny insignificance. One stallion of the Earth Tribe tried to trip me as I passed him by. I stomped on his hoof with a growl. He whimpered like a beaten dog before shuffling away from me. The mares around me found the act rather alluring than distasteful. 'The Earth Pony must've not been all that popular around here,' I mused to myself. I walked into the line without another issue.

As I waited, I listened to the conversations going on around me.

"Dear Celestia, who is that hunk!?"

Thank you.

"Look at his scars, Prism! I bet he's a member of the Royal Guard."

Fuck no. Those guys, from what I've seen, are complete pansies.

"No way! Do you see his horn, Ruby? He's clearly a foreigner."

Yep.

"I think he's a mercenary from Saddle Arabia."

I'm going with Griffonia. There aren't any dragons over there. I kinda' need them for my background.

"I bet he's a member of the Black Mamba! Those guys make the Royal Guard look like little colts playing Toy Soldiers."

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

"Do you think he's Princess Jasmine secret lover?"

Hahaha-wait. What?! Where did that come from?!

"Well, she is in town. I wouldn't be surprised if she had him follow her from the distance so that they can sneak away together while in the city at night."

Hold it right there!

"So romantic~."

I turned around to stared incredulously at the two gossiping mares in line behind me. Both of them turned bright red when our eyes met. I had to stop them before I somehow end up being chased around by the secret service of a foreign country across Equestria for, "deflowering," their virgin princess when I have yet to conquer my beautiful Angel! I have some standards, you know!

"I'd appreciate it if you two didn't fabricate baseless, wild rumors around. It isn't polite to make assumptions that could send a Hassassin at an innocent stallion," I huffed. "And another thing; I'm from Griffonia near the Dragonian border, (I learned that from a map I bought). I specialize in Dragon Slaying and not Assassinations," I finished with a nod before turning around to make my order.

"Oh. My. Faust!" they both gasped in awe. I rolled my eyes.

"Hello, S-sir. Can I take your order?" said a small colt of a stallion wearing a black dress-shirt underneath a dark-green apron. The poor thing shook in place as I looked down on him from over the counter. I gave him a nod.

"Can I get an Extra-large Double Espresso Mocha Latte with non-fat cream and natural sugar; a chocolate chip muffin, and can a meet your manager, please?"

"W-What?" the stallion said flabbergasted as he tried to put my order together on the register. He obviously couldn't handle such a complex order. The mare standing over his shoulder had to help in order to make sure he doesn't screw up my order. She also had the word, "Manager," on her name-tag. I felt slightly sorry for the colt if the Manager, herself, had to help you out. She let out a tired sigh.

"Is that everything, Sir? And what do you need to see me for?" the mare named, Coffee Crisp, inquired with a straight face. Take a guess on how she looks like. If you answered with a black mane, dark-brown fur, hazel eyes, and a Cutie Mark with a steaming coffee mug on it, then you'll be correct in your description.

I placed the appropriate amount of Bits on the counter for my order and replied with a straight face, "I'm here for a job."

"You're hired," she instantly replied before turning to the colt, "and you're fired." She took his name-tag with her hoof, removed his apron, and pointed to the "Staff Only" door. "Get in there and put on a uniform. It's lunch hour, and we don't have enough hooves for the rush. If you survive for the next three hours, you'll get your job."

I watched the heartbroken colt leave the counter with tears in his eyes. 'Poor, Bastard,' was my only thought.