Roll for Initiative

The words came rushing back to him; racing through his memories to the forefront of his recollection, where they bounced and tumbled about in an endless echo in his skull. The pitch? Perfect. The syllables? Exact. The tone? Crystal. They were words Shining Armor had never, ever in his life wanted to hear. They scared him now as much as they did then, but his mind would not let him forget what she had said: "Shiny? Do you think my butt looks big?"

It was an unanswerable question. It was akin to asking what the sound of one hoof clapping was, or if a tree fell in a forest. There was nothing correct to say in response to such a fiendish inquiry; an accursed riddle Shining Armor thought he would never answer be able to answer in his life.

Until now.

Now, beholding the sheer amount of colossal ass looming before him, he had his answer. Now, staring into the white, snowy abyss of Cadance's clinging panties that swallowed up his vision and devoured his perception, he had his answer. Now, that he could see nothing but the monumental wall of rump that pilfered any resistance he might have had to the allure of Cadance's sweet pink behind, he unequivocally had his answer.

The. Ass. Was.FAT.

"Shiny?" Cadance purred, snapping the young knight free of his tushy-trance. He peered up at her with a greedy grin twisting over his features and she smiled coyly, giving her enormous rump an earth shaking wiggle that jostled the game board and shattered a nearby village.

"Weeeeell? Your quest has only just begun, good sir knight! The Colossal Callipygian mountain awaits!" she giggled, the crystal like chime of her laughter offset by the thunderous explosion of her rear when she lifted up and settled down in front of him once more with a powerful crash. Despite the destructive dimensions of her deadly derriere, Shining Armor found himself charging forward through plastic grass and cloth cardboard countryside. His legs were moving on their own, guided by both the pure love he held for his princess and the hardest erection he'd ever known in his life. One of which currently dominated the other, but he wasn't entirely sure which. He also did not care.

Shining Armor had never really considered himself an 'ass-stallion.' truth be told, his wife had a decidedly narrow little behind that never quite caught his attention. Her personality, spirit, and beautiful laugh captivated him and stole away with his heart, her body a distance third to his wanton passion for the alicorn princess. But now? Now the full bountiful panty-clad rump in front of him was all he could think about. It was all he'd ever wanted in life and all it would take to make him happy! He shot forward like a rocket, nearly tripping over his own hooves while his gaze remained locked on the alabaster flowers he found himself fixated on. The floral print that decorated Cadance's panties was an endless ivory garden that sang to him of pleasures beyond his imagination and pulled him like a magnet.

"A mountain is no match for the iron will of a paladin! I WILL concur its gargantuan size and claim its massive peaks!" Shining's tiny voice squeaked up into the room amplified by a gush of cerulean magic that carried his voice like a microphone. Momentarily, the impossible white wall of cotton shifted away from him and Cadance's face peered over her side, cheeks flushed a bright shade of rose.

"Gargantuan size?" she asked coyly. Shining grinned up at her and stretched his forelegs out to either side as if to attempt to indicate size. He was not shy about his response, mouthing "It's, fucking, HUGE" in a mock stage whisper and a barely restrained giggle of his own. Cadence's demure blush turned from a gentle tint of rose to an angry scarlet and she turned away with a faint shudder that jiggled her massive backside invitingly.

"W-Well then good sir knight...I do hope you're up for the challenge..." she purred. Shinning grinned, slowly approaching the fat globe pointed at him, and rested a hoof against the soft supple curve.

"Oh, I've claimed it before, I assure you, I will claim it again!" He called up, only to hear that beautiful chime of a giggle in response. Celestia how he loved this mare. He peered up at his daunting task, realizing, now that he was close enough, and the sky had turned to sheer snow, that he had a problem. The best problem in the world, perhaps, but a problem none the less. How on earth would he scale the beautiful behind before him? He bit his lower lip, unable to tear his eyes away from the flowery print while he wracked his brain for answers. Unsurprisingly, he was coming up with very little. Most of the blood in his brain had traveled elsewhere and it was proving to make this particular puzzle quite perplexing. Slowly, he took his time, wandering around the side of her rump. A journey he was sure might take him a full minute or so of walking.

He had the faintest trace of an idea. A smattering of a concept, really, but it was something he could build on. His lofty gait pulled him around the curve of her rump, towards her thigh where the material squeezed around her hips. Just where the cheek stopped and the thigh began, and the frilled boarder of her panties barred his entrance. He drew in closer, unable to avoid the scent of his wife. It was picking up. He knew that scent anywhere and he cherished it. It seemed she might have been just as eager to be explored as he was to explore her, and the idea forced a painfully wide smile across his lips. Wide and lustful. Oh, goodness yes, his cock was raging by this point, but it was something he could temper with the discipline of being a guard captain for several years.

With a herculean effort, Shining Armor's horn flashed and a powerful burst of magic tore from its point, clapping against the panties and tugging the fabric back with a strength proportional to Shining's twitching arousal. An effort that awarded him momentary passage into paradise. He had managed to tug the panties out. Just far enough for him to breach the cotton defenses, but breach them he did: He was in.