Another Q joke

“So, tell me dear, what is bothering you?” Troi said, levitating two cups of tea to the small table in between her and Rarity. “I can feel a lot of emotions coming from you: love, anxiety, fear and… lust?”

“How do you know what I am feeling?”

“I am a Betazoid, my species has natural telepath an empathy habillities. You are in love, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes. I am in love. Madly. I haven’t felt like this since my first crush! It’s insane.”

“May I know who the lucky man is?”

“Worf…” Rarity said, blushing.

“Oh, that makes sense. Explains your anxiety and fear.”

“I am afraid that he might reject me. I am doing everything by the book, you see.”

“What do you mean?”

Rarity floated the pad that she had been hiding on her mane.

“Um. ‘Klingon mating rituals’. I see.”

“I already did the cheek bite part, you know. I just hope he likes it…” Rarity’s face lit up for the nth time that day.

“You actually bit him? Dear, I would say you just won his heart.”

“Really?” Her eyes seamed to glow.

“Yes, Worf is very loyal to the traditions. I don’t think he would let you down.”

“Thank you!” Rarity said, hugging the mare. “It was all I wanted to hear!”

“No problem. Have a nice day.” Troi watched as Rarity left, humming a tune to herself with a large smile on her face.

       ____________________________________________

Data materialized at the transporter pad.

“Hi sir. How did it go?”

“It went fine Mr. O’Brien, thanks.”

As Data left the room, Worf came across.

“Data, I need o talk to you. But you have to maintain it a secret.”

“Okay Worf. What do you wish to discuss?”

The android and zebra started to talk and discuss the plans. Completely unknown to them, a certain orange Pegasus filly watched, hearing every detail from her hiding position on the Jefferies tube.

   ____________________________________________________

“Sister, what is a black hole?” Celestia asked, a little worried about Luna’s reaction.

“Tia, remember when I told you that was possible to make something so heavy that its gravity wouldn’t let not even the light escape?”

“Oh. How come they can make something like this?”

“I don’t know. But I hope they are right about it collapsing seven seconds later…”

   _______________________________________________________

Enterprise`s school ward, two hours later.

“Scootaloo, Alexander said that he is awaiting for us at Holodeck 2 to go on a trip, whatever that means... “

“Are ya coming?” Apple Bloom said, finishing Sweetie`s sentence.

“Nope. Sorry girls, i have to study some things.”The pegasus filly said, with out removing her eyes from the console.

“Study? Scoots, you never do that. What is going on?”

“Its a secret. I cant tell you now.”

“Okay, good luck for whatever you are doing!”Sweetie Belle said, going trough the doors.

“Computer: Bring up ‘Starfleet Operations manual 101 Ops station’.” Scootaloo said, making sure that no one would see or hear.

  _____________________________________________________

“What?!?!?!?”

The four ponies said in unison.

“The elements will only be able to stun the creature.”Twilight said again, this time only a few gasps filled the air.

“But then how will we defeat it?”

“We won`t: The Enterprise will.”

“How?”Rainbow asked.

“They will open a black hole for 7 seconds, just enough to consume the thing.”

“Sugarcube, what the hay is a black hole?

“Imagine that space is a sheet of rubber.”

The ponies nodded.

“Now imagine that everything that has a mass causes it to bend, like when you put a small piece of lead in the sheet of rubber.”

They nodded again.

“A black hole is something so heavy that it rips a hole in the rubber sheet.”

“”Now wait a second!” The cyan pegasus said. “I may not be an egghead like you, but isn`t opening a hole in the universe anywhere close to Equestria a tiny bit dangerous???”

“Yes, but it will collapse a few seconds after it opens, no harm done.”

“Twilight, I am going to take your word, but I still don’t fell comfortable with the idea of a bucking hole in space just around the corner.” The rainbow maned pegasus said, just before leaving.

___________________________________________

“A warp core overload?” Said the bald stallion, a frown on his face.

“Seems to be the only solution up until now. We would need to get close to the creature to get the maximum chance to hit the target. I recommend a saucer separation, and only use the battle bridge for the maneuver.”

“Very well. We shoudnt take any unnecessary risks withs the crews lives.”

____________________________________________

Rarity went inside the Ten Foward, with a wide smile and carring the pad with her magic.

“So, how are you now that Worf knows what you feel for him?” Guinan asked.

“I am 100% sure that he liked it, am I right?”

“At first he was a little shocked. But he says he will think about it.” Rarity`s smile faded.

“Think about it?” Her eyes were watering.

“Rarity dear. It may not look like it, but he has a heart of gold. Worf is afraid of hurting you.”

Her smile came back, a little smaller.

“Well, stage 2. Here it says that it is common to the Klingon female to start the relationship. I want to impress him, maybe a good drink...”

“Oh, I have just what you are looking for.” Guinan said, levitating an old looking metal bottle from under the bar.

“What is it?”

“Klingon Bloodwine, from the vintage of 2360. Worf`s favorite, young and sweet.”

“Do you mind if i take a sip? I don’t want to be surprised by the taste when the time comes.”

“Sure, here.”The brown alicorn levitated a small chalice to the bar and filling it to the half.

Rarity took the glass to her face, it smelled strong, stronger then Applejack`s whiskey, but sweet. She took a small sip.

“Strong!” She said, it indeed was, but sweet at the same time. It also had a small residual metallic taste. Perhaps that’s the why it’s called Bloodwine. “Anything else he would like?”

“Well, I would recommend a large portion of gagh. But we don't have any aboard, and replicated gagh is disgusting. I say take a dish of targ cheese with Zilm'kach jelly. Here, have some.”

The dish had four slices of yellowish cheese, covered with a caramel colored jelly. Rarity took one slice with her telekinesis and took a bite.

“Delicious!” The cheese had gummy texture with a slight sour taste, while the jelly had a sweet taste with a flavor that could be described as close to an apricot. “Out of curiosity: what is gagh?”

“A dish of serpent worms. Klingon's normally eat them alive.” Rarity`s face was that of disgust.

“Well i think I will stick with the cheese and jelly, thanks. But now i have another problem: You said he had a son, and I assume they share room. How do I avoid him between, you know, the act.” Her cheeks were on fire, even though she knew Guinan wouldn`t tell anyone.

“Don’t worry. I will take care of him for tonight.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Yes. He will understand that his father needs a private time.”

         ____________________________________________

O’Brien had been at the teleporter room for three hours, all that time he had spent looking at the chapter’s title.

Equine Reproduction

He had read the entire book. It was quite fascinating. But he still felt that, for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to look at that reproduction chapter.

C’mon O’Brien! It’s just like a normal science book, like the ones back on elementary school!

As soon as he got down the page, he regretted the decision. Without warning, a huge picture of a mare’s uterus, as seen from a camera placed on its entrance, appeared. He immediately shut the pad down.

Fuck! I really didn’t need that! I guess they don’t waste time on drawings and diagrams when the said animal isn’t intelligent...

“Mister?” He looked to his right, a small pegasus filly stood.

“Hi there kid. What do you want?”

“Sir, could you take me to Ponyville and back?”

He thought for a while.

“Yes, but you are going to need a teleporter marker. Let me get you one.”

He typed a few commands on the console, and a bracelet with a small button appeared on the platform.

“What is that for?” Scootaloo asked, O`Brien took the bracelet and got it on her right hoof.

“Damn, this is awkward without hands.” He said, cleaning his tongue on his right foreleg. “This baby emits a signal when you press the button. It will let me know when you want to come back. Now, any special location?”

“Ponyville library.” She said, stepping on the platform

“Okay.” He pressed a few buttons and she started to dematerialize “Call me when you want to come back.”