Another Q joke

“Sir, the simulation is done.” Data announced. “And we have a problem: the elements will not be able to fight it, not even with the help of the Enterprise.”

“Damn! Is there another way?” Riker asked, visibly angry.

“In theory, if we overload the warp core, it will create a singularity for a few seconds. It would be enough to destroy it. But the warp core would have to be inside the creature.”

“It will be our plan B. Go down to the planet and inform the princesses.”

“Aye sir.” Data made his way to the turbo lift and to the teleporter. Without anyone noticing, Worf had started a simulation of his own.

__________________________________________

“You’re back. How did it go?” Guinan asked rarity as she enterded the Ten Forward.

“I got this.” She showed her the pad.

“Should help.”

“Yes, but I need your help now.”

“Shoot it.” The brown alicorn said.

“I have to get me and Worf alone. I don’t want to embarrass him in front of other ponies, and I also feel I can’t do it with anyone else looking.”

“He usually comes here after his shift to drink a glass of prune juice. Should be about 10 minutes from now.”

“Okay but what about the…” She looked at the table where the crusaders were, it was empty. “Where are they?”

“They wanted to know more about the ship, so I sent them to the school.”

“Are you sure that it was a wise decision?” Rarity asked, again fearing for Guinan’s sanity.

“They will like the company. The will probably like Alexander too.”

“Alexander?

“Worf’s son.”

Rarity jaw’s dropped.

“Wait, WHAT? HOW COME NO ONE TELL ME HE’S MARRIED?”

“He isn’t.”Guinan stated. Rarity was confused.

“Care to explain? Please?”

“Worf was married to K'Ehleyr, a Klingon emissary that gave birth to Alexander. While she was supervising the empire’s succession ritual, she stumbled across a conspiracy and was killed.”

Rarity was shocked.

“She was murdered?”

“Yes. Worf avenged her by killing the man who killed her, Duras. He has been alone ever since.”

“Oh my. I-I think I should give up on him then…” Rarity said, with a tear on the corner of her eye.

“Why is that?”

“If I try to get him, I may open his emotional wound. I don’t want to hurt him…”

“Rarity dear…” Guinan placed her hoof on Rarity’s chin, turning her head in her direction. “Worf is a Klingon, he got over it the moment he killed Duras.  He is about to arrive. I will be back in a few minutes.”

Rarity was now alone on the bar; Worf would arrive any moment now. Her heart was racing.

It’s now or never!

        _________________________________________________

It had been three hours since the Enterprise had detected the threat, now named Kraken. Worf’s simulation was done, and he sighed.

I have to tell Data, I will need his help.

The Klingon warrior went through the doors of the Ten Forward, where he saw the unicorn mare. She was sitting at the bartend, drinking what appeared to be sparkly water. He sat next to her and noticed that Guinan was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is Guinan?”

“She had some business to attend to.” Rarity said, trying to hide the anxiety on her voice.

“I can wait.”

Okay Rarity, now or never! You can do it! It has to be quick! Oh my…

It all happened very fast, so Worf only became completely aware of what had happened after Rarity had disappeared, running away from the bartend. He took his hoof to his cheek and looked at it: a small dot of blood was there.

“Well, that went very well I would say…” Guinan said, coming trough the door on the opposite end to the Ten forward.

“Guinan! What happened? Why did she…” Worf was cut off by a brown hoof on his lips.

“She fell in love for you, and is trying to impress you by honoring Klingon matting traditions.”

It hit Worf like a d'k tahg blow. She had bitten his cheek, licked his blood and now had his scent. She wanted him.

“But I can’t! She is a horse!”

“So are you, for the matter.” Guinan stated. Worf sighed.

“It’s not only that! I may end up hurting her.”

“Worf, remember when I first introduced you to prune juice?”

“Yes.” He said.

“I asked why you were always alone, and why was that. You said that it was because human females were too fragile. Remember what I said next?”

“You said that there might be one or two women aboard that might be willing or wanted to try.” He said, a little uncomfortable.

“Exactly. Rarity not only wants to try, she wants to stay with you.”

“I still have to think this through.”

“Fair enough.”

        _________________________________________

The two princesses sat at their thrones, with the royal guards on each side. A pony started to materialize with a blue glow in front of them, causing the two white pegasi to go into battle stance.

“Hold it, he’s friendly.” Celestia said, the guards returned to their ordinary  guard stance as the pony stopped glowing.

“Your majesties, I am afraid I have bad news: The elements will not be able to fight the threat.”

“What? How so?” Luna asked, a little worried.

“The computer simulation showed that even with the elements full power, the creature would only be stunned for a few seconds. The only viable way we found of destroying it would be creating a singularity by overloading the Enterprise’s warp core.”

“I am sorry, but I didn’t quite catch that last bit. What is a singularity?” Celestia asked.

“Are you familiar with the cosmological mechanics your highness?”

“No, that’s Luna’s department.”

“A singularity is the same as a black hole.”  Data said.

“What?!?!? You are going to open a black hole this close to Equestria??? Are you insane?”  The dark alicorn said, a look of horror on her face.

“It will last only 7 seconds before it collapses. But will be enough to destroy the threat.”

“Is there another way?” Celestia said, concerned.

“Apparently, no. I will inform your highnesses on the progress.”

“Could you do a favor? Can you go to Ponyville and tell Twilight this.”

“I can.” Celestia touched the android’s forehead with her horn and the earth pony started to glow, there was a white flash and he was gone.

_________________________________________

Rarity had been walking for about ten minutes now. She ran away from the Ten Forward and  as she went inside of the turbo lift, she had shouted a random number. Now, her mind kept going back to those key 3 seconds when she bit Worf.

Did he like it? Did I scare him? Will he forgive me or avoid me?

“Are you all right miss?”

Rarity snapped out of her thoughts and looked to the source of the voice. It was a white unicorn, much like her, but with a dark-brown mane.

“I am fine, thanks.”

“No you are not. Do you want to talk about it? My name is Troi. I am the ships counselor and psychiatrist.”

Rarity sighed. Perhaps she can help me calm down.

“Okay.”

“Follow me.”

         ____________________________________________

Twilight saw a white flash of light coming from downstairs. She went down and saw Data standing in the middle of the library.

“Data! What brings you here?”

“Princess Celestia sent me to inform that the Elements of Harmony will not be able to fight of the threat.”

“What?” Twilight was shocked.

“The elements can only stun the creature, not defeat it. However, the Enterprise might be able to do so.”

“How?”

“We could create a black hole that would consume the creature, and collapse right after, but that would imply in most certainly destroying the Enterprise as well.”

“But, that would leave all of you stranded here.”

“As I said its only one plan. We are working on other possibilities.”

“Okay, thanks for the warning. Have a nice day.”

“You too. Enterprise: one to beam up.”