Shining Armor is a Goddamn Moron

by Clopficsinthecomments

Teaching 'Essential' Skills

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(106 votes / 61%) Let’s have some sexy-time with the wife… then we’ll infiltrate the school tomorrow as a substitute teacher!

The FLURRY HEART METER remains UNCHANGED!

Currently the meter is at 5 / 10 !


Shining grinned as he crossed the floor in a couple of quick strides, hungrily eyeing his wife, who was completed distracted, with her nose buried in her book.

“Oh, Cadie….” Shining growled playfully, putting his front two hooves on the foot of the bed.

Cadence simply giggled, looking over the top of her book. “Oh Shiny, you’re incorrigible. Aren’t you tired after such a long day?”

Shining shook his head. “I’m never too tired for you, my love.”

Cadence simply sighed then looked back at her book. “As much as I’d love to, sweetheart… I think that you should actually uh… pause… any release for a little while.”

Shining arched an eyebrow. “Pause?” He shook his head slightly, “Why should I do that?”

“Well… have you heard of tantric sex?” Cadence hummed, still reading her book. “It was developed in Poneladesh. They say that your orgasms can be up to ten times as intense if you simply restrain yourself for a short time.”

“A short time?” Shining whined.

“Mmhmm… say… the next couple of weeks? Just until Flurry’s birthday.” Cadence giggled. “Don’t you think that would be fun?”

Nope.’ Shining’s thoughts echoed the immortal wisdom of that one farm-pony he’d met in Ponyville. Shining slipped his head under the covers in response, slowly moving up under the blankets, crawling between his wife’s legs.

“Shiny! You’re being a naughty little colt.” Cadence chuckled. He heard her turn a page on her book.

But he wasn’t about to stop. Already his nostrils were filled with the lovely perfume of his wife. A scent-trail of wonderful vanilla that was leading him right between her pink thighs. ‘It’s so strange that she smells just like those oils… I wonder if she uses them… down there?

Shining planted a light kiss on the inside of Cadence’s left thigh, making her giggle. “Kisses won’t buy you any credit from me, Shiny.” She was teasing him… but she still spread her legs, giving him access to plant a trail of kisses along that tender flesh - approaching her wonderful honeypot.

“Cadie…” Shining growled. The feel of his cock dragging against their silk sheets, the smell of his wife’s building arousal, the wonderful spicy vanilla musk from Flurry’s back massager… He was horny.

Cadence’s puffy pussy booped him right in the nose. He plump pink lips never failed to excite him - swollen flesh that hinted at the twisting pink love-tunnel inside. He leaned in and planted a long, slow lick… starting right at the sensitive flesh between Cadence’s tailhole and her pussy… trailing it slowly across her pussylips until reaching the cleft of that wondrous mons, whereupon he flicked the tip of his tongue, just barely snagging his wife’s clitoral hood.

“Ohhh… what a naughty colt…” Cadence shifted in her seated position, drawing up one of her rear hooves, brushing against Shining's stallionhood quite deliberately, “...not listening to his beautiful wife… you should be punished.”

Shining buried his nose deeper into his wife’s cunt, thrusting his tongue into her tight, hot snatch. With years of skillful practice, he had learned just how to curl his powerful pink muscle, hooking it upwards to stroke Cadence’s clitoris from the inside with twisting and erratic movements.

“Mnnfgh!” Cadence wrapped her rear hooves around his head, pinning him inside her. Shining felt the covers fly off as his wife threw her book aside and tore off the blankets, exposing him. “Shiney! I’ll.. punish you later… for now… don’t stop!”

He had no intention of stopping, not that he would have even been able to. In addition to his wife’s powerful thighs clenching him, she had also taken hold of his horn with her forehooves, using it like some kind of lewd joystick to direct exactly how she wanted Shining to eat her out.

So he dedicated himself to his work, thrashing about with his tongue as deeply as possible - breathing when she let up the pressure ever so slightly, inhaling deep whiffs of her marehood that made him wild with excitement.

Soon he wasn’t just breathing her… he was drinking her. Cadence had always been a rather wet mare. The alicorn’s red-hot love bud winked out against his muzzle, as squirts of nectar shot into the back of his throat.

“Y-yes! YES! YES SHINING! I’M...” He heard that familiar sound of alicorn wings spreading wide, felt the powerful clench of spasming mare-muscle, and the rhythmic clenching of his tongue that signified that his wife was indeed - “...CUMMING!”

Does Flurry Heart overhear her parents having sex (30% chance)? Shining rolls… success! Flurry Heart does NOT overhear!

Cadence groaned, her legs loosely slumping off of her husband. Shining loved being able to put his wife into post-orgasmic pleasure… she had such powerful releases - it was fun to just watch her as she dreamily drooled in a sea of bliss... An audible *thunk* filled his ears as her head slumped back and her horn impacted the headboard, leaving a small notch.

It was one notch of many. Shining was proud of those notches.

“Mmmm hmm hmm hmm…” Cadence half-groaned, half-chuckled. “Is there just no stopping you, my love?”

“Nope,” Shining starting crawling up his wife, his painfully hard cock dragging against her thigh as he prepared to-

“N-no… no Shiny…” Cadence groaned, attempting to close her thighs despite her weak muscles. “I’m serious - I want to hold off on any sex until Flurry’s birthday.”

“Wh-what? That’s not fair!” Shining moaned, sliding up and looking Cadence right in her dreamy face. “Cadence, I’ll never make it! You know how… ‘little Shining’ gets!” He looked down at himself.

Cadence glanced down too and bit her lip.

Despite the fact Shining was still nearly two feet from her, the tip of his jet-black cock hovered an inch from the end of her nose. With Cadence’s help, he’d developed had a bit of coltish, immature pride in his massive length and substantial, hoof-sized girth. What had once been something he tried to hide in the showers because of his almost freakish size, was now one of his not-so-bashful personal glories. Despite Cadence cautioning him that size had nothing to do with satisfaction - she’d quickly shown him how to put his stud-level stallionhood to expert use.

“Mmm… I... “ Cadence hesitated, not looking at Shining, but at her husband’s throbbing erection.

“P-pwease?” Shining put on his best puppy-dog eyes and clenched his hooves together in supplication.

“Hmmm…” Cadence reached forward, putting a hoof under his heavy black balls, as if gauging their fullness. “Ok-”

“Yes!” Shining pumped a hoof, flexing his cock proudly. A fat spurt of juice splattered from the end right across his wife’s face, forcing her to close an eye.

“Shiny!”

“Sorry!”

Cadence licked some of the flavor-filled, stallion juice away. With a bemused grin, she wiped her face and looked up at Shining with a mischievous grin. “Ok- if… you promise to drink something the night before Flurry’s birthday that will make it llike you’d held-off the whole time.”

“What’s the big deal with using her birthday as some tantric checkpoint, anyway?” He asked, cocking his head.

Cadence blew a warm stream of air across the fat, onyx head, causing another burble of pre-cum to spell from his cockslit. “That’s the deal… take it or le-”

“I take it!” Shining groaned, pressing his cock forward against his wife’s mouth.

Cadence chuckled, then pressed her tongue underneath his glans. Shining groaned, throwing his head back. Her soft tongue always brought him so much pleasure - right from the first, awkward blowjob she’d given him as a colt all those years ago… and she’d only gotten better with time.

Her tongue new every inch of his cock, every crevice, every vein. She slid it around the swollen ridge of his head, coaxing and slathering him with drool, not afraid to let the hot steel of erection press against her muzzle, into her mane, against her nose. He particularly loves when she took deep whiffs of his virile pre-juices. It made him feel like he was a potent drug - like his wife was getting high on him.

“Cadie… you’re so good at this.” Shining groaned, one hoof gently rubbing behind his wife’s ear - he never tried to grab Cadence’s head… she was far better at giving him pleasure than he would ever be - there was no reason to interrupt a master at work.

Cadence giggled, planting a kiss right on his glans. “You know… I remember when I used to practice on giant eggplants after our first romp in the hay together.” She blew a warm stream of air across his balls, then went back to his head, and somehow managed to fit the whole thing in her mouth for a couple of swirling bobs, which she broke off with a wet smack. “I wanted to practice for my love, so I could be the best for him.”

“Oh… you are the best Cadie…” Shining groaned, his legs twitching. He was getting closer. The knot in his stomach was tightening and tightening. “The best Princess… the best mare… the best cock-sucker… the best lover… the best mom…”

Cadence looked up at him with sparkling eyes at the last phrase. “Mmmhmm…” she drew her tongue from his thick medial ring all the way up to his tip. “I’ve learned lots of skills, haven’t I Shiny…”

“O-oh… b-buck, Cadie!” Shining’s hooves clenched. “I’m… I’m gonna…”

“But you know what makes a really great mom?” Cadence wiggled her eyebrows at him.

But he was having trouble focusing - the collapse of reason and restraint as his boiling orgasm surged through him had already begun. He felt his cock throb once, twice… then the throb of his flare expanding and straining.

“...passing those skills on to your daughter,” Cadence growled throatily, before impaling herself on Shining’s cock, shoving him all the way down her throat in a single thrust.

Shining screamed out, eyes shutting in absolute ecstasy as all eighteen inches of his length slid down the Princess of Love’s throat. Throb after throb of spasming clenches wracked through his body, each one coming with the intense satisfaction of release - with spraying gouts of steaming cum, poured directly into his wife’s belly.

Rope after rope shooting in blissful agony - all swallowed by his beloved wife. Until…

Eyes rolling in his head, Shining groggily saw Cadence removing his softening stallionhood from her mouth with a hungry, satisfied slurp. The world was spinning, the exhaustion of the day suddenly catching up to him, and he felt himself collapsing into the welcoming bed.

“Nighty-night Shiny…”


“Well, Mr. Armour.” The stodgy, gray-haired unicorn sighed, before sitting behind his desk. “I’m ecstatic, of course, that such a talented and respected pony would be willing to teach at our school… even if it’s only for a brief period of time.” The stallion adjusted his tie. “But why do you have to do it in disguise? Why the secrecy?”

Shining Armor smiled nervously. He really did look quite different.

Cadence had helped him gel his hair into an impressive set of luxurious curls. Despite her protests that this was ‘the stupidest idea of his many stupid ideas’ and that he should ‘just wait and not go buck everything up’, when he’d insisted and started trying to comb his hair… she’d pitched in to help with his concealment.

With the different mane-style… a pair of thick, black reading glasses… an ugly green sweater vest… and a little bit of concealing make-up to disguise his cutie mark (now it looked like a crystal-notepad)... he appeared to be a completely different pony! He’d even come up with a different name for himself: Sparking Shield… or Sparky for short.

Cadence had disagreed with his choice to wear his tail up in a bun, however. According to her, nopony in the Empire wore their tail that way - especially not Stallions… not unless they were trying to show off their bits for the whole world to see. He’d scoffed and derisively shook his head at his wife, informing her that he had received the very latest in fashion advice from Flurry on the subject.

That had gotten her to give in on the subject… though she’d done so with more chuckling than he would have liked.

In any case, when he’d left his home he was more than happy with how few ponies greeted him with salutes or greetings. Not a single passerby recognized him! The disguise was working!

The most extreme test had come when he’d passed his daughter walking through the hall on the way to see the principal...

Does Flurry Heart see through her father’s disguise (30% chance)? Shining Armor rolls… Success! Flurry Does not see through his disguise!

And she hadn’t noticed! He hoped it wasn’t just because she was chatting with a few of her friends at the time… but so far so good!

Shining turned his attention back to the old unicorn. He needed some kind of a reason for why he was undercover. “Principal Accommodating Zircon, my presence here needs to remain a strict secret… if any of the Empire’s enemies knew I was out in the open… it could place the entire school, and my daughter, at risk.”

The principal tilted his head quizzically. “B-but we already have so many guards in place to protect your daughter… and she’s happy to enroll under her true identity.”

Crap.’ Shining quickly tried to think up some other reason, but couldn’t find one. “I… uh… the reasons are… top secret… only you and I can know, nopony else… especially Flurry Heart!”

The principal glared at Shining, and for a moment it seemed as though all would be lost. “Well, they don’t call me Principal Accommodating for nothing… I’m always happy to be of service to the Empire, of course!”

Shining let out a deep breath of relief.

“I assume that you’ll want to teach a class that your daughter is attending?”

“Oh! Yes, yes that would be ideal.”

The principal stared at the strange prince. “Can I ask why the young Princess needs to have her father watching over her?” Once again seeming upset that he wasn’t being given the full story.

“You may not.” Shining gulped.

“Ok! No problem, always happy to help!” He pulled out a thick book, filled with all the various class-schedules and used his magic to skillfully navigate to a particular page. “Ah, here we go… hmm… there’s really only three options that I could give you.”

Of course.’ Shining groaned internally. ‘It always seems to be three…

1) Low Risk / Low Reward: Shining was a Captain of the Guard! That’s basically a Ph.D. in physical education. He knows every type of sit-up, push-up, wing-up, and horn-up ever devised by pony-minds! If there’s one thing that Shining is well-qualified to do, it’s to stare at teen-filly butts as they are stretching and make sure that everything is in the right place! (20% chance of something going wrong, rewards are given a 0.5 times multiplier penalty)

2) Medium Risk / Medium Reward: Teach potions class in 2nd period. Yikes - it had been a long time since Shining Armor had done any study on potion brewing. Unicorns just… didn’t really need to use potions that often! That being said, how hard could it be? Potions are basically glorified cocktail mixing… and if Shining could fix up a mean rum and coke! If only he’d read that book from the night before! (50% chance of something going wrong - Rewards are given a 1.5 times multiplier)

3) High Risk / High Reward: Teach sex-ed in 3rd period. Insert tab A into slot B… how hard could it be, anyway? Sure he’ll have to discuss throbbing genitals and estrus cycles with a bunch of horny teens for over an hour, but he’d faced down changeling invasions! There was no way this could go wrong! Hmm… are teachers supposed to demonstrate things during sex-ed? (60% Chance of something going wrong - rewards are doubled)


Author's Note

STRAW POLL HERE!

Vote for your choice! Once we hit 150 votes I'll write the next chapter!


Incredible work everyone! We hit the vote count so quickly it surprised even me! You guys are awesome!

I hope you all enjoyed the little clop scene between Shining and Cadence! Just a little tease, not meant to be the 'full-shot' which will come (if you earn it) when you manage to fill the Flurry meter!

Coming up now is Shining's attempt to be a substitute teacher - YOU get to choose which class he'll teach. It will be interesting to see which of the options you all pick - you've been a bit conservative so far... you're going to need to take a few risks eventually!

But all three classes will be fun to write!

Hope you're all enjoying!

As always, commented suggestions are also welcome and can end up becoming a new choice/outcome if good enough!

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