Walker woke up slowly, his mind chugging away as if it operated in a thick fog. He smacked his lips, his throat and mouth incredibly dry. His tongue tasted terrible and felt far too small in his mouth, likely a result of his dehydration. Walker kicked out with each limb, making sure he still had four. When all four responded, he considered it good enough, despite the fact that he couldn’t curl his toes or clench his fingers.

Walker decided it was as good a time as any to try opening his eyes, so he wiped at the crust on his eyelids, then opened them fully. That was a mistake. Walker guessed he had been out for a long time; it was the only reason that the sunlight stabbed into his brain like knives. Walker growled and rubbed at his scorched eyes, keeping them closed as he worked away the pain. Once they seemed back to normal, Walker opened them slowly, learning his lesson from the last time.

Walker cracked open his left eye first, then his right. Squinting so that he could only see out of a slit, he looked at his surroundings. It was definitely outside. Walker sighed and rubbed his eyes as he tried to work them open fully. Though it still hurt some, he could see better now, his eyes getting used to the bright sunlight that streamed through the open tent flap. Walker could tell that it was an Army tent, it was the same ugly green burlap that it always was. He kicked his legs as he looked at the wool blanket laying over his body. He was surprised at how comfortable it was; usually his skin had an adverse reaction to the itchy wool, but right now he was happy to just feel warm.

Other than the cot he was on, the tent was empty save for a nightstand by his bed. Walker’s mood brightened when he saw a jug of water sitting on it with a cup waiting, empty beside the jug. Walker licked his dry lips, and reached for the jug, ready to kill his thirst.

Until he saw his arm, or rather, his hoof.

Walker’s brain fired as it struggled to process what he was looking at. The hoof was black, and filled with holes, yet it didn’t feel strange at all. Walker imagined his fingers and clenched it, the hoof responding by curling. The feeling of the hoof, his hoof curling was too much. Walker screamed.

He flung back the blanket, saw his worst fear come to life. His body was gone, replaced by black chitin that covered the entirety of his torso, as well as his legs, each ending with a hoof, riddled with holes. Walker saw wings, could feel fangs in his mouth. Another rabid scream crept past his lips as his mind began to panic.

A pony, one he didn’t recognize sprinted into the tent. Walker felt his panic rise as he tried to scramble from the cot, his legs flailing. He got nowhere, wasn’t used to moving four limbs to walk. Walker rolled to the side, taking the cot with him as he tried to escape. He couldn’t be near ponies, couldn’t be near anyone. He was a changeling, a bug. He was a danger to everyone, and he needed to leave as soon as possible before he lost his mind, before he attacked them.

The pony was at his side in an instant. Walker tried to scoot away, but found his limbs pinned by the pony as it tried to calm him down. Walker couldn’t hear the words, didn’t want to. He just wanted to run, run faraway and never return. When he couldn’t do that, he did the next best thing, retreating deep into his mind as he tried to cover his eyes, tried to make everything go away.

Unheard to Walker, the pony shouted over his shoulder at a trio of guards that had been stationed near the tent.

“Go and get Phillips the human! Then find Princess Celestia!” he yelled.

The guards nodded briskly and sprinted off, leaving the pony healer to try and comfort the panicking changeling under his hooves.

“Colonel Walker, Colonel Walker can you hear me?” he said, trying to pry the changeling’s hooves away from his head. The pony tried to get a look at Walker’s eyes.

“Colonel I need you to calm down so that I can help you.” The pony said, trying to sound like the human soldiers did. The changeling whimpered and shook his head.

“Go away. I’m a bug. You’ll only get hurt.”

“You’re not going to hurt me Colonel, and I’m not going anywhere. One of your friends is coming, just hold on.”

The pony heard booted footsteps slam the ground as Phillips slid into the tent. The man’s eyes quickly locked on Walker’s flailing form and he was beside the pony within seconds. The man took over the situation instantly.

“Colonel, this is Sergeant Phillips, I need you to calm down immediately.” To the pony he said, “Hold his arms so I can get a look at his eyes.”

“Arms?” the pony asked.

Sergeant Phillips grunted and pointed at the hooves around Walker’s head.

“The hooves damnit!”

The pony sat on the changeling’s lower half while grabbing his hooves, successfully dragging them to the ground. Walker whipped his head back and forth, still trying to escape. Phillips grabbed his head with both hands, stopping the motion. Walker responded by screwing his eyes shut, a whimper escaping his chest. Phillips talked slowly and in a low voice.

“Colonel, I need you to remain calm and still. You are back at Romeo Sierra Alpha; you are currently recovering from your last mission. While I take a look at you, I need you to, in detail, tell me about your last mission. Do you copy?”

Walker froze at the words, then nodded slowly. Panic still raced through his mind, but the voice of someone he had considered a friend calmed him just enough. Phillips slowly released his head and pried open one of Walker’s eyes, grabbing a flashlight from his belt as he looked at.

“Go ahead Colonel. Start at the beginning.”

The changeling swallowed roughly.

“We-… We…..” he stammered.

Phillips let the eye lid drop, and pressed his head against the changeling’s forehead.

“Colonel, breathe, think, talk. This is so I can ensure you’re in the proper state of mind.”

“But I’m not Sergeant,” Walker replied bitterly.

Phillips sighed, gently prying open Walker’s mouth.

“That’s for me to determine Colonel. I’m the medic, I get to conduct the psych evals. Now talk, start after you left camp.”

“We… Seal was driving. Celestia and Shining Armor were in the back seat, and Sergeant White was on the gun,” Walker started.

Phillips nodded, moving away from the teeth as he felt along Walker’s ears.

“Keep going,” he said as he snapped his fingers, causing the ears to flick.

Walker nodded.

“We were on our way to Overlord. The mission was to determine what happened to Overlord and destroy any changeling’s in the area. A mission we failed.”

Phillips scowled and moved lower, feeling along Walker’s neck.

“I didn’t ask you to determine the mission status, I said to list the details of the mission. Continue with the events that happened.”

Walker blinked, his eyes opening fully for the first time since he had seen his hoof.

“Seal was taking the hills too fast. With all the rain the roads turned to muck, and I couldn’t see through my window. I didn’t see anything until we got to Overlord.”

Phillips nodded as he felt lower, tapping on Walker’s chest with his knuckles. Walker had no idea what that was supposed to accomplish, but he continued, feeling marginally better now that he was talking.

“We got out of the vehicles at the front gate. There were no guards, no people at all. Just rifles and emplacements with seven shots fired. It was far too quiet.”

Phillips moved lower, and suddenly; Walker felt embarrassed. He hadn’t noticed before, but he was quite naked. He cleared his throat, drawing Phillips’ eyes up.

“Sergeant, if it wouldn’t be too much of an issue, can we continue this after I get some pants?”

The medic grinned.

“Yes sir, I believe we can. I’ve seen enough anyway. Let’s get you back into bed.”

The pony stood up, freeing Walker’s legs, and Phillips offered a hand, pulling Walker to his feet. All four of them. Though the motion felt weak; his legs hadn’t moved in some time after all, Walker felt like he was already used to walking on all fours. He didn’t like that he felt that way. It was a relief when Phillips helped him onto the cot, allowing Walker to go limp as he laid there, not wanting to use his body.

He looked at Phillips as the man re-tucked the blanket, making sure it was spread all the way up Walker’s torso, so only his forelegs stuck out. Walker stared at the ceiling rather than those black limbs. He swallowed roughly and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see anything.

“Colonel? Are you alright?” Phillips asked.

“No Sergeant, I am the furthest thing from all right,” Walker replied.

He felt tired, and the only thing he wanted to do was escape into the sweet release of sleep. Phillips evidently had other ideas. Walker felt something sharp prod him in the side through the blanket. The first time he ignored it, thinking somebody had accidently bumped into him. The second time he also ignored, though now he recognized it was an intentional act. The third time Walker opened his eyes and glared at the medic.

“What do you want Sergeant?” he asked with an angry tone. The medic prodded him in the side again.

“Just checking for shell softness and nerve damage.” Phillips said, a slight grin on his face as he prodded Walker’s side again. Walker slapped his hand away.

“My side is fine, and I can feel everything like normal, now stop that!”

Walker’s eyes flicked over to the pony, who was rapidly writing something on a sheet of paper. Walker looked back to Phillips.

“What is he doing?” Walker asked.

Phillips didn’t answer, instead moving to stab Walker in the side again. Walker stopped his hand with a hoof, wrapping it around Phillips’ wrist in a firm grip. Walker dragged him down a little so that their eyes were level.

“Stop poking me Sergeant, or I will personally track down every crate of Charms in existence and make you eat them.”

The man grinned broadly.

“I’ll hold you to that sir.”

He didn’t poke Walker again though, so Walker settled back down. Phillips stood up, walking across the tent to grab a stool. He then brought it back and sat down next to Walker’s head. The pony continued watching Walker, his eyes poking up from his paper every few seconds. Walker tried to make him go away with a glare, but it did nothing. Walker snorted and laid his head down. A creeping sensation made its way across his brain. The events of the past couple days began compounding at the front of his mind, the loss of his family, the loss of his company, the loss of his own body. Walker felt overwhelming sadness, accompanied by a deep sense of loss. Walker felt the tears rise to the corners of his eyes, but he pushed them away, bringing forward a cold sensation that numbed his chest.

“What’s the damage Sergeant?” Walker asked.

Phillips shook his head.

“I’m not qualified to say Colonel, that’s probably better left to Princess Celestia.”

Walker snorted.

“Not about me. What’s the situation across the board? Who’s left?”

“Say nothing Sergeant,” The pony hiding behind his paper said.

Walker felt anger rise in his chest and glared at him again. Surprisingly, so did Phillips.

“I’ll tell the Colonel what I damn well please Healer. He’s as much a man as he was before. No green glow, no issues giving orders. There is no evidence that he’s been impacted mentally in any way.”

The pony stuck his stupid eyes out from behind his paper. Walker felt hatred for the pony. He really wanted to smack him upside the head.

“Sergeant, we have been ordered to remain silent about all important subjects until Princess Celestia can confirm what the physical signs are telling us.”

Phillips snorted, looking away from the pony and back to Walker.

“You’ve been ordered maybe, but I’m looking at my commanding officer. Far as I’m concerned, he’s welcome to all the intel he wants.”

Walker felt a bit better at those words. At least one man still held trust in him. The pony tucked the page away, and Walker noticed one of his hooves shift toward a knife at his side.

“Sergeant Phillips, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the tent. The changeling may be-..”

Phillips got to his feet.

“Fuck that, don’t feed me some BS line about mind control. For anyone smart enough to use their eyes, it’s fairly clear the Colonel Walker is still in control of himself. I am too, and unless you intend to use that knife, I want you out of my tent.”

Walker reached out with his hoof, tapping Phillips gently on the arm. The medic’s angry glare turned to him.

“That’s enough Sergeant. If I’m restricted it’s probably for a reason.”

Phillips shook his head.

“That’s bull sir. You’re as human as any of us. I won’t let anyone,” his glare drifted back to the pony, “tell me who I can and can’t trust. Especially not some fuzzball who likely learned to practice medicine from a cereal box.”

The pony bristled visibly.

“I’ll have you know that my special talent is in medicine! I am more than capable enough to study a changeling. Certainly, more than some non-magical monkey.”

Walker flinched at the venom behind the word changeling, while Phillips towered over the pony. The man grabbed him by the collar, and brought them together so that they were nose to muzzle. In a low growl, Phillips said;

“Don’t ever call Colonel Walker a changeling again or I’ll shove that quill so far up your ass that you’ll sprout wings and fly. Now why don’t you use some of that capability of yours and go find Princess Celestia before I show you what a “non-magical monkey” can do with thirty seconds and a pair of fists.”

The pony flinched and fled the tent. Phillips glared after him, then took a deep breath, walking back over to Walker’s bedside. Walker flinched again as the man sat down roughly and sighed.

“Sorry about that Colonel, it’s been a rough couple of days.”

Walker swallowed.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” he asked.

Phillips looked up, ready to protest, but the anger left his eyes and he nodded in agreement.

“Unfortunately so sir. Evidently, most of the ponies didn’t know that she was taking changelings alive and shipping them off to “friendly” queens. When your team came back, with you still out on a stretcher, it brought up a stir, for everyone.”

Walker looked at the ground, a dead expression.

“How bad?” he asked softly.

Phillips sighed again.

“Well, there’s two camps. Princess Celestia, along with Captain Armor and all of our original company are on the side that it’s better to have you alive and a changeling than to be shot. Princess Luna, most of the ponies, and most of the outside boys think you should have been shot on sight. A bug is a bug they say. Needless to say, tensions have been high.”

“They’re right,” Walker said, tears creeping into his eyes once more as his vision blurred. “They should have shot me. I’m a bug now.”

“Sir, that’s not true. You’re still the same man as you were before-…”

“No!” Walker shouted; his sadness being replaced by a brutal flash of anger. “If I was the same man I was before then I should be shot anyway because that means we’ve committed genocide. How many? How many bugs have we killed? How many used to be people? If I’m still human, then what does that make them?”

Walker flopped limply back to the cot. Phillips sighed.

“Sir, I don’t have an answer for that. Princess Celestia explains it better. All I know is that you’re a special case. A bug is still a bug, but you don’t fit the marker. Look it’s… it’s complicated Colonel.”

Walker snorted and flipped over.

“I don’t think so Sergeant. I think it’s very simple. It would have been better if I died.”

Phillips sighed, and Walker felt his hand on his shoulder. Walker shrugged it off, didn’t want to be comforted. He felt the hand drop away. The pair sat in silence for a while, before Phillips slowly got to his feet, placing the stool back in its corner.

“I’ll be close if you need anything Colonel,” Phillips said. Walker didn’t reply, the silence enough to convey how he felt.

Phillips sighed again.

“Sir, I know how this must all feel, how it must hurt, but I refuse to believe the man who looked after us deserves to die because he doesn’t look the same anymore. You stood up for us, and I’ll be damned if I don’t do the same in return.”

Walker stared at the wall of the tent, refused to even look in the man’s direction. He felt tears roll down his cheek. Phillips sighed for a third time.

“Try to rest some Colonel, I’ll try to find the princess.”

Then the man was gone. Walker was alone once more. He wished he told Phillips to close the flap. Every once in a while, someone would walk by, and Walker could see the glares, the hatred. All of it which he deserved. He was the enemy, the thing that had taken so much away. Walker whimpered softly and tried to hide his head in the blanket, closing his eyes as he let sleep claim him.

*****

Walker woke quickly, shoving away at the dreams that had plagued his sleep. He tried to forget, had no wish to remember. The darkness, the voices, that damn laughter… Walker scrambled out of the blanket, panic momentarily overwhelming his need to hide his new body. Walker fell from his cot again, the dirt offering no assistance as he tried to make his way to his feet. Having to deal with four of the suckers now made things far worse. He just couldn’t seem to get on all four at once, couldn’t find his balance.

After the third attempt, someone finally came into his tent, and Walker couldn’t help but try to shy away as they saw his pitiful state. Walker felt himself be lifted into the air. He heard Celestia sigh softly as she set him back on his cot. Walker snagged the blanket and cruelly tugged it back into place, not caring that it left one of his legs exposed. He needed the security of covering his upper half.

Celestia was patient enough to wait for him to get settled, a fact the set Walker on edge. He didn’t want pity, and he certainly didn’t want help. Not from her. Walker pointedly made sure he was facing away from the pony, made sure she saw every part of his back as he turned it against her. Celestia sighed, and Walker watched the stool in the corner float over to her, out his view. Walker heard her sit down, but she didn’t say anything. The silence aggravated him more than anything else.

“Go away Princess, I don’t want to talk to anyone these days,” Walker said, his voice dripping with anger.

“Cornelius please, this isn’t the way to-“

“To what?” Walker asked, his eye peaking over his shoulder. “To grieve? To move on? To live?” He snorted and plopped his head back down. “News flash Princess, not all of us are exactly glad to be alive.”

He heard her sigh a third time.

“Cornelius, just… please listen to me. You shouldn’t waste the life you have, changed though it is. You have so much potential to do so much good.”

Walker snorted again.

“Potential, is that why you kept me alive Princess?” He heard her stiffen, likely stunned that he knew it had been her. “Do you think so little of me Princess? Did you really believe I couldn’t figure it out on my own? There were two ponies with us, and Captain Armor certainly wasn’t going to be saving me, so that just leave you. You, who decided my life was better as a bug.”

Walker sat up, glaring at the pony. He could tell she had been crying, likely due to the strife caused by his very existence. The fur around her eyes was matted, and her magenta eyes held traces of lingering tears. Her mane was disheveled and wasn’t flowing, something that looked strange. Finally, her armor was in a state of disrepair, with stains marring its normally shining surface. Walker didn’t care, he could only feel extreme anger. She didn’t meet his eyes, choosing to instead look at the ground.

“Cornelius, your life is worth living. You are only a changeling in the physical sense. I managed to stop the change before it affected your mind permanently.”

“Permanently,” Walker said with a snarl. “So that means they had their little insect hooks in my head, temporarily right? Tell me Princess, did I kill any of my men during that short term? Perhaps reveal valuable intel to the enemy that got more of my men killed? How much do you think the changeling’s got out of me?” he said with a shout.

She flinched visibly.

“Cornelius, you hurt nobody. You revealed nothing. You are as human in mind as you ever were, and the changelings were able to take nothing from you.”

“Except my body,” Walker replied bitterly.

He laid back down, still facing away from the pony.

“What do you want from me Princess? What haven’t I sacrificed yet that you need from me?”

“Cornelius, this isn’t about that,” Celestia said.

“Isn’t it?” Walker replied. “Because I’m thinking you came here to get me out of bed yeah? Get me out and doing something so I’ll stop moping like a slug. Fat chance of that happening. Nobody out there wants a single thing to do with me, and why should they? I’m the failure human turned failure bug.” Walker glared at the tent wall, trying to prevent the tears from welling up. “I wouldn’t want me either.”

Walker felt a hoof on his shoulder.

“Cornelius, that isn’t true. None of it is. You haven’t failed anybody, and there are still plenty of people, human and pony alike who wish to have you back, myself included. I know you are entitled to your rest, but you are not resting here. If anything, remaining still is simply making things worse.”

Walker looked over his shoulder at Celestia.

“What things?”

She sighed and levitated a thick packet of papers to him. Walker sat up on his cot again, dangling his feet over the edge while he accepted the packet. On the front it read; Side Effects of Forced Conversion by Twilight Sparkle. Walker looked to Celestia.

“When did this get written up?”

“Months ago. My student was studying the effects of partial changes on ponies and gryphons. She is one of the few who knew about my saving of changeling eggs and outcast drones.”

Walker snorted as he flipped open the cover. Inside was a clearly labeled table of contents, on which Walker spotted a subsection labeled; Permanent Emotional and Mental effects. Walker tapped it clearly, his glare rising back to Celestia.

“No permanent effects, huh?”

She opened her mouth to protest, but Walker ignored her, flipping to the designated page. Walker felt his anger rise as he read the words aloud.

“Although some effects dissipate within the first few days of a forced conversion, all subjects report a variety of different emotional and mental symptoms. These include; dramatic mood swings, increased agitation, increased depression, an increase in volume of nightmares, increased emotional vulnerability (particularly with the emotions of embarrassment, and fear) and increased susceptibility to suggestion.”

Walker read the last symptom like a question, looking up to Celestia.

“Just what is that supposed to mean Princess? What, am I going to fall in line to any old order somebody gives me? Did you keep me alive to have a little human-bug puppet?”

Her face rose from the floor in anger. Her eyes seemed to rage like fires.

“Colonel Walker I will not hear that sort of slander. I will not have you or anyone accuse me of manipulating the minds of others for my own gain.” Her voice lost steam and her head drooped again as the anger fled. “Cornelius, please believe me when I say that I only wished to save your life. There is no other ulterior motive than that.”

Walker felt a pang in his chest, but he squashed it. He didn’t want to feel sympathy, especially not for the pony who had robbed him of everything. Walker closed the packet and dropped it onto the nightstand. He slowly curled back into a ball on his cot and rolled over, facing the blank, green wall once more. He could tell she wanted to say more, but she didn’t, choosing to remain silent. Walker felt the tears rise to his eyes.

“Just go Princess,” he said with a whisper. “Just go and leave me for dead. I’ve already made peace with it.”

Celestia sighed deeply, and Walker swore he could hear tears drop, but her voice was as even as always.

“Alright Cornelius. I’ll go, but if you ever need to talk with someone… I am always available. My door shall never close to you. We are friends, and I will not let my friend suffer as you are. I don’t wish to see you throw away your life over a moment like this.”

Walker closed his eyes and sniffled.

“You’re not my friend Princess. A bug can’t have friends. Just leave me alone.”

He could tell the words hurt her, but Celestia said nothing in reply. She rose from the stool and it levitated back to its proper place. Walker watched it as the first tear escaped. He felt a sob well up in his chest as he heard the tent flap open. Part of him wanted to beg her not to leave, while another was glad she was going. Only when the flap fell did the part that wanted her to stay win. His head popped up, but she was gone. Alone now, Walker slumped, tears falling freely as he sobbed, more than aware that he had likely driven away one of his only friends.

*****

He had been awake for quite some time. Walker stared at the tent wall, his eyes dry and dead. He had stopped crying well over an hour ago, and simply felt nothing but soul crushing emptiness since. Taking a long look at his reflection hadn’t helped either. He was in every way shape and form a bug, save for two things of note. His eyes were different from the average changeling’s. It should have given comfort to still have the same eyes, but it didn’t, neither did the mop of hair on top of his head. Why both of those things were the same, Walker didn’t know, and he had no way to find an answer. Not only was he stuck as a bug, he was a bug that shoved away the few people left on the planet that gave half a shit about him. Phillips had tried visiting several times, so had Richardson. Walker dismissed both, saying that he didn’t need them around, didn’t want them around. He hadn’t seen sight of either Sergeant White, nor had he seen Celestia. Walker dismissed White as one of the men that hated him now, but Celestia… he knew he had hurt her. Accusing her of making him a slave, Walker imagined that had cut her more than a little.

So now, he was a bug, and he was alone. A dangerous combo that made Walker wish for a gun.

Walker heard the footsteps behind him, but didn’t so much as move in response. He heard Seal clear his throat, but Walker remained silent, content to stare at the wall for the rest of his life. Seal had other intentions evidently.

“Colonel, it’s time to get up,” he said stiffly. Walker could hear the anger in his voice. He mildly wondered if that anger was directed at him.

Walker didn’t respond. He felt a foot on the edge of the cot.

“Colonel come on. I need you to come with me,” Seal said as he rocked the cot slightly.

Walker snorted.

“Go away Captain. Whatever it is, I am fairly sure that a non-changeling can accomplish the task just fine.”

Seal remained silent for a moment, and when he began to shift, Walker felt satisfied that the man was going away. Then he was on his face, in the dirt, with his cot lying beside him as his blanket fell to the ground. Walker sprang up, getting close in Seal’s face.

“What the hell was that for?” he shouted.

“Respectfully sir, if you’re going to act like a bratty teenager, I am within my power to treat you like one so long as you are not physically injured,” Seal replied, matching Walker’s anger with his own.

Walker felt a growl rise in his throat as his anger built higher, then like a flood, a cold wave of sadness washed it away. Walker felt his shoulders slump and he looked away from Seal. He righted his cot, and dragged the blanket through the dirt, setting it limply on the edge, ignoring the dust it kicked up.

“Let’s just get this over with Captain.”

Seal sighed, breathing out through his nose.

“Right. Let’s go then.”

Walker followed Seal out of the tent, keeping a good three feet away from the man. His eyes faced the dirt, though his ears could hear everything going on around them just fine. Walker felt the glares, could hear the whispers, none of them positive, yet all of them true. The pair approached a mess tent, and Walker noticed that two soldiers, one human and one pony, stood outside. As Walker and Seal got closer, the human moved forward, holding his hand out to stop them.

“Sorry Captain, that thing ain’t coming in the mess hall.” The man glared at Walker, who avoided eye contact, staring at the ground. Seal scoffed.

“And on who’s authority is that little order made Private? Last I checked, Colonel Walker can go wherever he damn well pleases.”

“That thing,” the man said, pointing at Walker, “is not Colonel Walker. Maybe you need your eyes checked Captain, but that is a bug. Bugs don’t have ranks, and bugs don’t get to eat in the mess hall. I suggest you take him elsewhere.”

Walker’s eyes raised when he heard Seal push forward, grabbing the private by the collar.

“Or what Private?” Seal growled in his face. “What are you going to do to stop me. You try to shoot Colonel Walker; I will beat you with your own rifle in front of anyone before throwing you in a stockade. Until someone with more intelligence than Private Law tells me that he is not Colonel Walker, I will continue treating him as Colonel Walker, and Colonel Walker hasn’t eaten in three days.”

Seal shoved the man back.

“So, unless you can provide some actual orders, I suggest you move aside Private.”

The man returned Seal’s glare, but he stepped aside. Seal smirked and walked forward, motioning for Walker to follow. Walker did so, moving a bit closer to Seal, not wanting to be too far from the man that was currently protecting him. Just as Seal opened the tent flap, Walker felt a thick wad of spit hit the back of his head. Seal froze, and turned around, a look of pure rage on his face. As his mouth opened, Walker held up a hoof, silently stopping the man.

Walker took a deep breath as he wiped the spit off his head and onto the ground. Then, he turned around, facing the man that had spit on him. The man was grinning, a look of victory in his eyes. A dark thought flashed across Walker’s mind. An opportunity.

“Private… Law was it?”

The man sneered.

“Keep my name from your mouth bug.”

Walker nodded, taking a step toward the man, who thankfully stood his ground.

“I’ll keep that in mind going forward,” Walker said calmly.

Walker noted where the man’s rifle was, and more importantly where his trigger finger was. The safety was off. Perfect.

In a burst of motion, Walker closed the short distance between them and snatched the rifle barrel, placing it firmly against his forehead. The private’s eyes widened, and he tried to recoil back, but Walker kept the rifle barrel pressed tightly against his head. When Private Law realized that Walker had no intention of doing anything else, he stopped struggling, those his eyes remained wide as he met Walker’s calm gaze.

“Don’t worry Private, nothing is going to happen. At least not to you. I just need a small favor from you.”

Seal shifted behind him.

“Colonel, this isn’t-“

“Shut it Captain,” Walker snarled. “This is just between Private Law and I.”

Walker looked back to the frozen Private. The man looked afraid now. Walker honestly couldn’t tell if that was good or not.

“Private, this is a very simple favor. All I need you to do is to take that marvelous trigger finger of yours, and kill me. It will only take a second.”

The man tried to yank his rifle away again, but Walker held firm. Law’s mouth flapped.

“Sir I-..”

Walker cocked his head.

“Sir? No Private, there is no sir here. You said it yourself, I’m just a bug. I agree wholeheartedly, that’s why I need you to pull the trigger and end this farce. Kill me. Then we all have one less bug to worry about.”

The man yanked again; he looked around for help, but though a small crowd had gathered, nobody helped him escape from the suicidal changeling before him. Walker sighed.

“Private, let’s get this over with. I don’t want to be a bug any longer than you want to look at one. Pull the trigger and let’s get this done.”

The man shook his head.

“Sir, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Yes, you did Private! That’s why I am asking you, no, begging you to do this. I can’t do it myself, especially not after this, I’ll never get hold of a firearm, so please pull the trigger. Put me out of my misery. We both hate that I’m a bug, so we each win if I die. Pull the trigger Private!”

Walker saw tears in the man’s eyes. Eyes. That was the key. Walker smiled.

“Private, I think I know why we are having issues here. I still have normal eyes. I can fix that in a second. Here’s what I’ll do, I close my eyes, and then I look like any other bug, then you shoot me.”

Law shook his head as he tried to scramble free, put Walker patted him on the arm with his free hoof. Walker closed his eyes and smiled.

“Come on Private, do us all a favor and pull the trigger.”

“Sir, I…”

“No hesitation. I’m just another bug. Do it.”

“Sir I can’t…”

“Yes, you can Private,” Walker growled. “It takes one muscle flexing, just one. Do it.”

“Sir-…”

“DO IT!” Walker screamed.

The rifle was ripped away from his grasp in a second. Walker sighed deeply as he heard a pair of wings flap as a heavy body touched down. Walker opened his eyes to see a very pissed looking Celestia towering over him. She didn’t say anything, but neither did he. He had nothing to say.

Walker felt numb internally, once again conflicted if he was glad she intervened, or saddened that it wasn’t over yet. Walker snorted and pushed past Celestia, making his way toward his tent. Law flinched back when Walker walked near him, and the motion caused Walker to stop. He cast a short glare at the man’s rifle.

“Put your safety on Private. You’re a danger to everyone here.”

Walker didn’t wait for the man to acknowledge him, but he thought he heard a click behind him as he walked away. He tuned out everything else as he made his way back to his tent, the glares and the whispers rolling off his deaf ears. He found the green tent as he left it. Walker idly brushed the dust from the blanket before crawling under it as he closed out the sunlight.

Walker sighed when he heard footsteps approach the tent.

“Go away. I’m not in the mood for conversation.”

Walker was surprised when it was Seal who replied instead of Celestia.

“Good, because I’m not here to talk with you, I am here to yell at you. That little performance out there? Unacceptable, I don’t care what happened to you. You just tried to encourage one of your men to shoot you in the head, in front of everyone. I’m not going to leave this tent until I drill it through your skull that your actions have severe consequences. Especially when you pull that kind of stunt.”

Walker growled, poking his head out of the blanket.

“That wasn’t some stunt Captain! How dare you. You don’t care about what happened? Big surprise, because you don’t know what happened, not completely. Tell me Captain Walker, have you been unmade? Have you had someone in your head trying to turn you against the people you would call friend? Have you heard millions of voices, all packed into your head so that it feels like you’ll explode or go insane? Because that’s what happened, Captain,” Walker spat. He grabbed the packet that still sat on his nightstand and threw it at Seal’s feet.

“Go ahead Captain, take a good long look,” Walker said. “I haven’t read much yet, but I can assure you that the physical changes weren’t the only thing that got left behind.”

Walker flopped onto his side, facing away from Seal.

“How long Captain? Will I just snap, maybe kill a few guys in the process? Maybe attack a pony or two? I’d rather take a bullet in the skull than take that chance.”

He heard Seal bend over, brushing the dirt off of the packet before setting back on the nightstand. Walker heard the man open his mouth as he tried to speak his mind, but eventually he gave up, sighing with anger as he turned to leave. Then he laughed.

“I think I’ve figured it out Colonel.”

Walker tried to screw his ears shut, he hated that laugh. It felt unnatural, lacking humor in any way shape or form. Walker put up a small wall of anger to block it out.

“And just what have you figured out Captain?”

“That you’re a coward sir. You know that you could be just as fine as always, but you choose to sit here and isolate yourself. Everyone is looking to you.”

“To see if I recover?” Walker snorted mockingly.

“To see I you don’t,” Seal replied. “The big scare is that horrible what if? What if I get turned into a bug next? You’ve got the eyes of humanity on your shoulders to see if you can get back up again, and so far, you’ve come up short sir. Not because some bullshit bug is still in your head, but because you won’t saddle up and roll with the hand you’ve been dealt. You don’t want to recover sir, and that’s what makes you a coward.”

Walker could almost feel the words embed themselves into his spine. Anger and sadness warred in his chest. Seal was absolutely right. Walker didn’t want to recover. He was still fighting to see if he even wanted to live. The action with the private had been one end of the extreme, played out in front of everyone. Seal’s words about consequences flashed in his head, making Walker sink lower. He pulled the blanket tighter to his chest as he screwed his eyes shut.

Lost in himself, he didn’t notice when Seal grabbed the stool, sitting at his bedside, the informational packet in his hand. It was only when he heard the man flip a page that he realized he was even still there. Walker tried to ignore him, but he felt his ire rise as he heard each page turn. Walker forced away the anger, knew that Seal was intentionally getting under his skin.

Seal began to hum a nothing tune, and Walker’s head shot up in aggravation.

“Captain, if there is nothing else, get out. I don’t need you here.”

Seal looked at him with a blank expression.

“That, sir, is an utter lie, and as I said before, I’m going nowhere before I can get you thinking again. I have all the time in the world, my squad has been assigned to guard duty of significant personnel, and you qualify. If you want me gone, you have a list to complete before I leave.”

“And what is this list?” Walker said through gritted teeth.

Seal smiled smugly.

“I’m glad you asked. First, you are going to walk to the mess tent, three times a day, and eat with Sergeant Phillips and Private Richardson. They will report to me that you eat every scrap of food put in front of you.”

Seal counted the second task on his finger.

“Then, you will pay a visit to Phillips in the medical tent so that he can conduct daily physical examinations. The only way we’re keeping science boys off your back is by Phillips doing routine checks and keeping you in shape, which brings me to number three; you have to do a supervised lap around the base, twice a day to make sure you get your exercise.”

Seal cocked his head and put on a fake pout.

“For your health of course.”

“And the fourth?” Walker growled.

Seal dropped his fingers and leaned forward, his demeanor becoming much more serious.

“The last item is an apology. Not to me, not to the men, but to Princess Celestia. I caught some of what you said to her, and frankly, since you started trying to pull intel from the bug queen, you’ve become an ass. The first three are tasks I’ve been ordered to oversee, but the final one is personal. You’re driving away the people who care about you, and I’m not going to let that happen. You’re going to accept our help whether you like it or not.”

He spread his hands.

“Once you meet these conditions, you’re free to mope all you want, free of mean old Captain Walker.”

“Fuck you,” Walker replied, flipping back onto his side.

Seal sighed and shrugged.

“So be it Colonel. I have all the time in the world to wait. The world moves on, but I will stay right here until you are ready to move with it.”

Seal began flipping through the pages again as Walker stared at the wall. Outside, a cold breeze began to blow.

Author's Note

Been awhile since the last chapter, but here we are!
A forewarning, from this chapter forward in the story, there will be very little combat. It will largely focus on psychological effects and coming to terms with change. While widespread world events will be discussed by the characters, little in the way of physical conflict will occur. Just a warning.