John Sampson's Story

It has been a night to remember. My band now has two mares and I have a rare aroma.

“Swift, it’s time for soap. Meet us in the creek.”

It wasn’t much of a body of water but it flows and will cleanse us.

I step in and, “Oh! Shit! That’s cold.” Then I have an idea. My magic can make my body strong and it can make my body fast, can it make my body warm? I feel for my magic and think about a pleasant warmth. It works! I am standing in the creek and it feels quite comfortable.

Swift arrives with the soap and I start lathering. First myself, then AJ, and finally Swift with lots of scrubbing. We all roll and splash to rinse. We gallop to dry off. It isn’t perfect but I am not about to face Granny reeking of sex.

AJ is looking thoughtful, “John, you’re using our shared heart to gauge my response to your lovemaking, aren’t you.”

I smile, “AJ, that is exactly what I love most about you. You are very, very far from stupid.”

She blushes a little, “Thank you, John. What I haven’t figured out is how you can stand there bare skinned in the cold water and wind and not shiver. I can feel it on my bare parts.”

“Your bare parts are all extra sensitive ones and I have found a new way to use my magic.

“What do we have for breakfast? Or do you think we could make the house in time? For that matter, do they know you are out here, AJ?”

Swift replies, “We can open a bag of fruit or trail bars and we are standing in a sea of greens. I don’t care if we could make the house, I’d rather not see Granny or Bloom right now.”

AJ contributes, “I agree about the house. I’d rather have some work sweat on me when I see Granny. And I spoke to Big Mac only. When he told me where you had gone, I tried to catch up.”

“Okay. I’ve had trail bars so I’m going with the fruit.”

It is unanimous.

When we got back to the field where Big Mac and Fred are working, they are already toiling away. Big Mac sees us first and comes galloping toward us.

“Hello Brother and Sister in Law.”

I am curious, “Now how do you know if we went through with it?”

“John, do ya think Ah can’t recognize my own sister’s voice? You guys are loud. Ya might want ta watch ya’self around Granny.”

Oh. That again. “Is she that mad?”

“Na. She has plans for ya. She walked around all morning ‘Finally! A stallion that knows how ta make a mare squeal’.”

“Hello Fred. Yes, much happy.”

“We’re working on it, Fred.”

“Let me pull your plow for a while, Fred. I want to smell like work when I see Granny.”

Meanwhile Big Mac is quizzing AJ while Swift giggles.

I can’t resist, “Hey Big Mac. If you want secrets, you’re asking the wrong pony.”

“Really?”

“Yes, for example, would you believe that your sister actually tastes like apples.”

Oh my. That may be a new record dark blush. “You wanted to know secrets, Big Mac.”

AJ is deadly serious, “John Sampson! Don’t ya dare.”

“AJ, he listened to all three of us last night. He knows.”

But Big Mac isn’t done, “Actually, John, Ah heard four of ya. That’s what Ah was wondering about.”

“Don’t worry about it. My inner pony just got out for a romp with AJ.”

“Ya have an ‘inner pony’, John?”

“I’ve had him since my Oath but this is the first time he’s got out. Even so he is still me.”

“Ya are confusing, John.”

I get in a couple of hours taking turns on the plows while Swift and AJ clean a barn somewhere. We meet back at the house for lunch. There are glazed carrots and corn pone bread with garden greens.

Granny starts in almost as soon as we are seated. “I’ll be expecting foals next spring. This farm needs more ponies.”

Of course I got dish duty again.

The field work is finished and we brought the plows back with us before lunch. Nothing else needs doing immediately so we decide to go shopping in Ponyville. I want to get Rarity working on a matching wardrobe for AJ. AJ wants to get me the hat that I had been promised long ago. Swift just wants to watch me trying to deal with Pinkie.

Rarity was almost too helpful. “Congratulations Darlings! Of course I know what John already has and I know AJ’s measurements so I can put together anything you want. I’ll even leave some extra in it to be let out.”

AJ has to ask, “Why would I need to let anything out?”

Rarity just smiled, “Honey, by this time next year you are going to be huge.”

My turn, “Rarity, that decision hasn’t been made yet. I don’t want her stuck in the castle and I haven’t been reassigned to Ponyville yet.”

“Well, you’ve still got a few weeks to get it together. Besides, she won’t need you after that first week.” Rarity chides.

I still don’t know if Rarity was serious.

House of Hats is our next stop. It is fascinating to me that ‘Stetson hat’ is a universal constant, but that doesn’t mean that a store in Ponyville would necessarily stock my size. So we agreed on a color and style. My measurement is taken. And we are told to expect delivery in two weeks.

Then there is the third and final errand. It is better to face Pinkie with a united front at a time of our choosing than to have her ambush us one at a time. So Sugar Cube Corner is the last stop.

We settle at a table and Mrs. Cake immediately comes bustling over.

“I’ve been hoping you three would come through here. Tell me now, are the stories true?”

AJ smiles and replies, “If the stories have love and a happy band in them, yes.”

“Oh! Pinkie will be ecstatic.” Mrs. Cake squeals. “What do you want to eat?”

Swift goes with a cinnamon roll and tea, I get blueberry muffins and tea, AJ wants apple pie and tea. We have just started eating when a small tornado blows in.

“Oh Boy!Congratulations!We need a Party!Right Now!!” Confetti started flying (and getting into all our food) and balloons appeared. “It’s SOOoooo Wonderful!!!”

I venture, “We think so. And Swift and I may, may, be moving back to Ponyville.”

“Yes!We will be so happy to have you here.We’ll throw you the biggest party yet!Where will you be living?”

“We don’t know yet. Possibly a new place. We don’t even know when, Pinkie.”

“Okee Dokee.Let me know when it’s time.” and the tornado moves on.

Dinner is a lot like lunch and breakfast is a lot like dinner and the rest of our week passes in a blur of familial love and grooming with a couple of trips to our pasture heaven. My inner pony is contented and quiet. But we have to strike camp and head back to Canterlot. Apple Bloom agrees to loan me AJ for a few days so AJ can come with us for a chance to get organized and legal with the Guard. And we owe some of our comrades a chance to get to know AJ.

The train car is empty except for us so we just pile and nap our way back to Canterlot. At the Palace gate I check us in as the Major John Sampson band. That gets some raised eyebrows and knowing smiles. I guess I just added a line to my legend.

There were two messages waiting. The Colonel wants to see all of us at the first available regular office hours. And Princess Celestia wants to see me in a private audience before the next regular public audience. There are several ‘regular office hours’ left in today and we want to see the clerk anyway so that’s where we go.

She announces us to the Colonel when we walk in the door. As we walk by she informs us that all the papers are ready and lack only signature and date.

“Congratulations, Applejack, John, Swift. Your presence is requested tomorrow from lunch until, in the Officer’s Garden for an informal welcome of Applejack to the Guard herd.”

AJ actually blushed, “Colonel, I’m honored. Just call me ‘AJ’.”

Steel smiled, “AJ, Outside of Royal Court, I’m always ‘Steel’ to you. You have papers to sign and an ID waiting for you. You are entitled to all food, shelter, medical care, and transportation that the Guard can offer in addition to the previously detailed benefits for your foals. I suspect that are already entitled as an Element Bearer but this lets you claim it without advertising as much. Because we are Princess Celestia’s personal Guard, it will get you similar consideration from any other Service or Agency. The Guard is a very large herd.

“Steel, there is one potential bump in that plan. I have a morning Audience with Celestia. I have no clue what She wants or how long I will be occupied.” I warned.

“John, She knows about this gathering and approved.”

“Okay, that works. By the way, we would like to spend the spring season on the farm. We don’t have to worry about noise complaints that way.”

Steel openly laughed at that. “You don’t know, John? Your apartment has permanent extra heavy duty noise canceling spells in the walls and self closers on the doors. We’re ready for you.”

AJ is laughing now, “I told you I liked him. Steel, you’ll be pleased to know that Granny Smith has approved of John based on him being ‘a stallion that knows how to make a mare squeal’.”

Time to change the subject, “Steel, do you happen to know if Twilight is available?”

“Not today but she will be there tomorrow at the gathering. That’s one of your beneficial side effects. We now have a Princess with an interest in the lives of her Guard ponies.”

We complete our business and go to our apartment for some quiet grooming and consideration of the day’s events. After dinner, we retire to the bedroom as one happy pony pile.

Morning is the usual zero four hundred start followed by breakfast but then I take a different turn.

“I’m going to skip PT today. I feel like between pulling a plow and all the horizontal calisthenics, I’m in good enough shape to skip one. Instead I’m going to Royal Court. I might get to say hello to Luna but at least I’ll be early enough for ‘before regular public audience’.”

I walk into the Throne Room just in time to see Luna rising from Her Throne.

As She spotted me, “John Sampson, come and walk with me.”

I follow her up some stairs and out onto a balcony.

“Thou art timely. The hour is here for me to lower My Moon and My Sister to raise Her Sun. Stand and watch.”

I am used to magic auras but this is something different. A column of magic so dense it looks like a solid deep blue bar emanates from Her horn and cradles the Moon. As She lowers the Moon below the horizon, I become aware of an equally solid golden column rising from the other end of the balcony. Celestia is raising Her Sun. It’s an interesting feeling to have your nose rubbed in the fact that some of your friends are a literal force of nature. It kinda puts your own ‘super powers’ in perspective.

Celestia calls, “Hail Sister. May I borrow your human pony for a while?”

Luna smiles at me and replies, “If thou promises to take good care of him.”

So I go with Celestia down some stairs and a hall to an ordinary kitchen.

“Have a seat, John. We are here today to talk as a mare concerned about her protege and adopted filly and a potential suitor.”

“Your Majesty . . .”

“Forget the Throne. This is Celestia the mare speaking to John the stallion.”

“Celestia, I am planning to speak with Twilight today. I have a magic problem I need her advice on. I also want to find a private way to speak with her about our relationship. I know she has a crush on me and I know that it is for the wrong reasons.”

“So what do you intend to do about it, John?”

“I have previously told her that I could refuse to spend time with her because it would be harmful for her. She has never questioned my judgment in the matter, but she has made it abundantly obvious that she wants to join my band. She’s reflexively stood for me a couple of times.”

“She has asked me for advice. I have yet to answer her. I could deny her permission and relieve you of this burden.”

“I have thought of asking you for exactly that but there are other considerations. A foal out of Twilight by me would become an awesome pony and she could have that by invoking Royal Privilege. Would I be doing Equestria a disservice by refusing?

“There is another possibility. I could invoke Royal Privilege myself and simply outrank her. Luna and I have discussed which of us should be first covered by you.”

“Celestia, I would be honored beyond all imagination but I would beg you not to ask me to neglect my bonded mares.”

“Of course not, John. You would all simply move into Royal Quarters for a week or so. Regardless of the size of my horn or title, my body is a normal pony mare. The four of us could keep the castle entertained for a week.”

“Can I break this to my mares gently? We were planning to spend the season on AJ’s farm, lost in the woods.”

“This is just speculation at this point. Think about the possibilities and get back with me. Meanwhile, we should move to the Throne Room where my first official act of the day will be an assignment for you.”

We walk to Celestia’s Throne. She takes Her seat there. I bow and speak, “Major John Sampson reporting, Your Majesty.”

“Major, we require your advice. A project has been proposed to build a direct rail line from Baltimare to Fillydelphia. It could save a lot of time traveling between the cities and allow easy access to the coast. The Royal Treasury would finance this project. We wish to be sure this money is wisely spent. You will be summoned when the proposal is weighed in Royal Court. There will be at least a week to study it.”

A large binder next to Celestia’s Throne floats to me and I capture it in my hands.

Celestia speaks again, “Go, Major John Sampson and do whatever is needed to give me an accurate appraisal.”

I walk absently to my office thinking about almost everything but the proposal.

Swift is at her desk sorting mail. I go by and drop the binder on my desk.

“We have our first official assignment. It looks boring but I have a feeling that it’s not going to be. But first we have a band problem to consider.”

I go through to the kitchen and find AJ hard at work. Swift is right behind me.

“AJ, Celestia has given me an assignment. Swift will help me with it and there is very small chance that we may go to Fillydelphia. But there is also something concerning all of us and we must keep it absolutely confidential.

“I know you have noticed that Twilight has a thing for me and that I don’t approve. The spring season is bringing it to a head. She has asked Celestia about joining our band or invoking Royal Privilege. I want your opinions and ideas. Am I overreacting? Could we make a go of it together? How would you feel if she demanded that I service her. Could you live with the consequences if I refuse?”

AJ speaks first, “John, you will always have a place on the farm. That is a given. I know that Twilight has magic but I have stood up to her before. IF she did invoke Royal Privilege to take you from me I would fight the Guard and Celestia Herself to stop her. But I can’t see that happening. And too many ponies from Steel to Celestia are just too smart to allow it.

Swift agrees, “What she said. And I think Twilight is more mature than you give her credit for. It’s her way to speculate wildly but she always comes back to sensible in the end. We could make it work but right now isn’t the time for it.”

I nod at AJ, “You are spot on, AJ. Celestia has offered us three options. First, She will do nothing unless a major disaster erupts. Second, She can forbid Twilight to have any relationship with us beyond the professional. And third, She could invoke the Royal Privilege Herself and simply outrank Twilight.”

Swift is the first to recover, “John, you know that I don’t think that now is the time for a foal. And that I have sworn to give everything for Celestia. So doing without you for a week wouldn’t be the end of the world for me as long as I have you for the other fifty one weeks. But I would much prefer the second option.”

AJ was uncertain, “I’ll prefer the second option too but I have to admit that being chosen by Celestia Herself is a high honor. Is there an intermediate choice?”

Damned AJ is good, “Now that you have had a chance to experience the shock like I did, let me tell you what some of that really means. The only way Twilight would be allowed to exercise her Royal Privilege is to join us as a band for the week. She can compel us to let her in but she can’t take anypony’s band rights away. In the end, she can’t force me to have an erection so there are limits.

“What Celestia is offering is far more interesting. Basically, we have a standing invitation, as a band, to spend the week with Her or Luna in the Royal Quarters where they will use their magic to make sure everypony has the best possible experience. I get a strong impression that the Sisters plan to alternate bearing foals so there is no chance of a Royal Duty being neglected.

“Right now this is all speculation, Celestia’s very words. We are to consider our feelings and options. Our personal choices will be respected but this is a larger concern than just one band or just one season. Apparently my balls have become an Equestrian national resource.”

My stomach is on the clock and reminds me that there is a gathering I can’t miss. I open the door from the kitchen to the courtyard. There are already tables set up and a few ponies stirring. AJ says, “Come here you two.” and gives us two apple pies each. We locate the dessert table and set them down.

Steel comes over to see what was going on and exclaimes, “What are you doing? This is your party, AJ.”

“Steel, this is Applejack of the Apple herd on the Sweet Apple Acres farm, developers and growers of the finest Apples in all of Equestria. You are not going to get her near a crowd without showing off her apples. Just accept that.” I explain.

That gets several laughs. I get a beer and find a place to sit. Steel joins me.

“Steel, I have a powerful need for some stallion advice. Sometime soon we might slip into my office for a private moment or two.”

“John, I simply cannot believe that you would have any sort of stallion problem. Let’s get a spare beer and go there right now. This has got to be one for the record books.”

So we do and after I make sure the doors are locked we settle in for discussion.

“Steel, this must remain absolutely confidential. I mean burn before reading secret.”

“Now you are worrying me, John. Yes I will keep your secrets. No matter how serious the failing.”

“Oh, Steel, would that it was a failing. That private audience with Celestia this morning, it was regarding Royal Privilege.”

Steel stands and comes over to me. “John! Let me be the first to hoof bump you. That’s great. . . . Isn’t it?”

Something in my face must have clued him.

“John, which one is it?”

“Twilight. The problem is that it’s my technology that turns her on, not me or my love.”

“So? She has done a pretty good job of bringing up Spike. You know she has raised him from an egg, right? And any foal sired by you out of the strongest magician of our time will be incredible. I’ll even bet good money that your mares will deliver you to her if requested.”

“Actually, she would have to share me with them. It’s in the modern rules. We would probably just move in with her for the week.”

“John, you know that there are a lot of spells? Stamina spells. Enhancement spells. Fertility spells. Anti-fertility spells. And Twilight knows every single one of them. You have just been offered every stallion’s dream of heaven. The only possible way it could get better is if Luna or Celestia made it.”

“I know all that but I have some misgivings. She wants more and not sure I can just walk away from a foal. I would really like to talk to Shining Armor about life as a Consort but I can’t see traveling halfway across the world to do it.”

Steel grinned big, “Well me laddie, you are in luck. In a couple of weeks Cadance will be here preparing for heat week. Where Cadance goes, Shining Armor goes. Do you think you can control yourself until then?”

“Hey, is it my fault the mare goes into standing heat looking at me?”

“Are you serious, John?”

“Twice now.”

“I’ll make sure Shining sees you as soon as he gets here. By the way, you know that Shining is Twilight’s big brother, right?”

When we get back outside Twilight is there and getting lost in apple pie. I mingle for a while and tell jokes universal to Services everywhere. Finally, I get a moment with Twilight.

“Twilight, can we talk for a few minutes? I have a question or three and we could step into my office for some private time to discuss it.”

“Sure, John. Though if it gets too complicated we may have to continue it tomorrow.”

“Not a problem. Follow me.”

She gets comfortable and I close the door.

“Has AJ mentioned her experience with my alter ego?”

“She said something about your ‘inner pony’ but seemed unable to go into detail.”

“I’ve had my ‘inner pony’ since my Oath. He seems to be getting stronger but so am I. I’ve found I can use my magic in some interesting ways like keeping warm and I have become very pony in some respects. I loved pulling a plow on AJ’s farm. My greatest happiness is grooming my mares. I don’t get sexually stimulated in situations that would drive a human wild. And then a shrill whinny in the night drove me to capture and cover AJ. It would have been simple enough to explain but I had a sheath and a flare. I flehmened. I had four hooves. And AJ felt all of these things just like I did. But it was still me. I lasted for a human length of time and I have the memories to prove it. Explanations?”

Twilight takes a deep breath, “The obvious explanation is that as you increasingly apply your magic to your body, your subconscious gains similar access. If you learn to control it, you could become the foundation of another tribe. Or you could just be creating a really good illusion. I don’t have any way to know that answer without actually watching you do it.”

“Twilight, it wouldn’t bother me a bit to move into the pony body and stay there. He’s quite a stallion. But when I was him, I was much more instinctual. My intellect was mostly just along for the ride. That worries me.”

“John, I’d still need to either observe him directly or have full access into your mind to find him.”

“You know I can’t do that, Twilight. You’ve only seen the smallest hint of some of the demons that live in there and it freaked you out. I will not be an agent of harm to you.

“On a related note, I have been told that you want something from me. You will only get it with my consent. To obtain my consent you must ask explicitly and offer terms. Ask AJ to detail the kind of agreement that we have and take it as an example. Don’t waste too much time though.”

“John, what are you suggesting?”

“Do you want a foal?”

“I want you, John.”

“No you don’t. You want my database. You can’t have it. You could have a foal.”

“Are you offering me a place in your band?”

“No. You can have complete friendship with loyalty. You can have inheritance. You can have economic merger. And you can have foals. You cannot have the band.”

Dammit. She’s going to cry.

“Could I ever have a chance? Is there something I could do?”

“No. I am very sorry but a choice I made before I fully understood it has closed that door forever.”

Yep, waterworks fully engaged. And I’m a sucker for it. So I pick her up and sit back on my beanbag with her wrapped in my arms and bawling on my shoulder. We rock for a while.

“John, why not?”

“Twilight, put your ear against my chest and tell me what you hear. I’ll give you a clue, the doctor heard it.”

“I know you are heartbonded, John.”

“Good. Now how many mares do you think I could support?”

“I don’t know that there is a theoretical limit. Practically, with a few other stallions to help, about forty or fifty.”

“I calculated thirty. But remember that all my band heartbonds. Now, Twilight, how long do Alicorns live?”

“Alicorns are functionally immortal.”

“So you want to go through eternity with twenty nine thirtieths of your heart ripped out by the roots?”

Waterworks into hyperdrive. It takes a while this time.

“I’m sorry Twilight. So very, very sorry. All I can do is seek a solution and I will for as long as I am able.”

“Thank you, John. I was so focused on what I wanted that I never thought it through.”

“Twilight, I’m sorry. . . .”

“No, John. I’m an Alicorn. It’s my fate. I will talk to AJ about contracts and foals. It may not be this year but someday I will bear your foals. You are far too great a stallion to leave unused.