John Sampson's Story

Fred finally gets tired of inspecting ‘Little Fred’ and we get to work. I am striding along with the harrow while Big Mac goes back for the mares and the seed. They got four good rows in before dinner time. I stop by the storage barn and change bodies. Fun fact: dirt doesn’t make the change with me.

We have just got into some serious eating when Granny pounces, “Where did you get that sword?”

“It was a gift.”

She’s not satisfied, “Who gave it to you?”

“You’ve obviously looked at it. Whose sigil is on it?”

She’s narrowing in, “That’s a royal sword. Only a member of the Royal Herd should carry it.”

“You are absolutely right.”

AJ and Swift are both giggling now.

Granny is not going to give up, “So a member of the Royal Herd gave that to you?”

“Of course. The member whose sigil is on it gave it to me. Did you look at the scabbard?”

“Yes. It’s got the entire Royal Herd on it. Obviously property of a Royal.”

“You are half right this time. It is property of a Royal but four members of the Royal herd are not on it.”

“The only member of the Royal Herd missing is Shining Armor. Is it his?”

“It’s too big for Shining and obviously made for somepony with hands. And the other three members of the Royal Herd just joined. The sword is a welcome gift.”

Granny is wound tight enough I’m getting worried about her so I end the game.

“We joined the Royal Herd, Granny. I’m a Prince of the Realm and AJ and Swift are Duchesses. I’m not sure what that makes you but you’re noble now.”

It takes Apple Bloom about three quarters of a second to pick that up, “OH BOY! I’m a Princess!”

I hate to kill that party, but, “I’m sorry Bloom honey but you’re not old enough and you have a lot of studying to do first. Twilight Sparkle is the newest Princess and she has to study so much she lives in a library.”

That didn’t slow her much at all, “I can do that. I can’t wait to tell Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.”

Granny is grinning again. I guess she forgives me for the tease.

We get nearly two hundred acres of carrots and two hundred and forty acres of corn planted. AJ knows the Pegasus in charge of the local weather so she arranges for some rain on those fields and we have a day off. That makes it time to work on my second project. I am becoming very comfortable in my horse body but I really need a pony body too. Not being able to talk is annoying me.

Swift and AJ have gone shopping with a long list provided by Granny. Now that we have farm, Guard, and Royal accounts to draw on we can afford a few luxuries. I want some ‘exotic’ foods like smoked salmon.

I pick a shady spot in the orchard and get comfortable. I have made a copy of my inner horse and called him my inner pony but had never used him. I study my inner human carefully and pick out the larynx parts I want and copy them. I make a place for them in my pony body and paste them in. A little adjustment is needed but it looks workable. I move into that body and try to recite the alphabet.

“ay, ee, ee, ee, ee, fa, ga”

Something wasn’t going just right. After twenty minute of frustration I figure it out. My voice is coming out of my nose. When I close my nose, my lips won’t cooperate. Generally, the equine tongue and pharynx aren’t adaptable enough either. I need a pony. Specifically, I need a pony face with all the internal parts included. Now all I have to figure out is how to get one.

Fred gave me this pattern so I assume he could give me another one, if he had a different pattern. Big Mac is the only other pony he talks to so it would have to Big Mac, If he could do it and If Big Mac agreed. Or I could talk a Unicorn or an Alicorn into it. The first problem with that is all of the Alicorns are mares and I’d rather not look and sound like a mare. So I need a fairly strong Unicorn stallion. That leaves Shining or Steel and I have unfinished business with Shining.

We get another nearly four hundred acres planted in the next two weeks. That is what I like about ponies. If anything needs doing, it gets done. Eight hundred acres will make for respectable harvest. So we are on our way back to Canterlot with a stop at the weather office to get those fields watered.

AJ’s friend is in. She’s a young Pegasus mare named Rainbow Dash. I am standing in front of the office with Swift when AJ comes out with her.

“So this is the big stud that makes you squeal?”

I just smile.

Rainbow continued, “He’s big enough. What else is he good for?”

AJ’s smiles, “He pulls a team of four plow by himself.”

Rainbow guffaws, “The Prince pulls a plow? Too bad he can’t fight.”

I smile bigger, “I’ve been looking for a Pegasus sparring partner. You’re a little small but I’d let you try out.”

Wings out and the whole display, “Do you really think you could keep up with me, pretty colt?”

“Rainbow, I would do everything I could to not hurt you.”

AJ is laughing now, “Rainbow, he beat shining Armor in an all day match. He’s serious about not hurting you.”

That lit Rainbow’s fuse, “If you’re afraid to fight me just enter the Ironpony. I’ll beat you there.”

“Sorry, I’m more likely to be judging. And I didn’t beat Shining. Steel stopped the match.”

Rainbow is ready for that, “Yeah, I bet he was afraid Shining was going to hurt you.”

Swift answers, “No, he was afraid they were going to hurt the Castle.”

AJ nods. Rainbow looks startled, “Now I’m impressed. Just let me know when your ready for that match.”

“Got a mat handy? Or some grass?”

“Sorry, dude. I’m on duty right now.”

I turn to Swift, “Want to wait for the night train?”

Swift ‘thought’ about it for a minute, then, “No, I have work that needs doing.”

So I turn back to Rainbow, “Any time you want, just show up at the Castle. We’ll make time for you. If you want to make it interesting, bring some friends, at least twenty.”

We left Rainbow sputtering.

AJ saw us to the train then headed back to worry about weeds and bugs.

Spike comes bouncing out of the kitchen to greet us as we walk in, “Hi, Dad!”

I have claimed Spike as juvenile relative with the Guard to get him an ID and some local stallion role models. He needs some as the lone juvenile stallion in a world of ultra powerful mares. So there it is, right on the ID, sire: Major John Sampson. Swift is tickled to no end to be stepmother to a dragon.

“Hello, Spike. All you have to do to earn my undying love is not serve apples. Twilight upstairs?”

Spike looks thoughtful, “John, if you don’t like apples, why did you band into the biggest apple farm in the land? Twilight is in her library.”

“First, I love AJ, her farm is incidental. Second, I like apples, just not multiple dishes with every meal every day. I’m going to check in with her.”

Twilight is deep in thought with books and notes spread across two tables. When she sees me she bounces up and over to lean against me and rub cheeks. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me and she wraps her wings around me tightening the embrace. Oh my, this is worth weeks away to come home to.

After a long minute we break the embrace and step back.

“What’s this about you adopted Spike?”

“That is one of those fortunate accidents. I got him a Guard ID by claiming him as a juvenile relative. I figured it would make some things easier for him and get him exposed to some stallion role models. The clerk filling out the form could only find one stallion in his herd not related to his dam, you, so I have to be his sire. He seems to have taken it and run with it.”

“Well, I’m proud of you even if you didn’t ask. A lot of stallions will not accept a foal not related by blood. You even bypass species.”

“Look at yourself, Twilight. That greeting you just put on me would have driven you to a panic attack a few months ago. Swift is right. The foal is gone and a beautiful confident mare has taken her place. That’s what the lack of a good stallion role model did to you. Now imagine a full grown dragon with a messed up head. How could I not help a friend out of a situation like that?”

“You have a number of messages. Celestia wants to see you informally. Steel wants to know when you get back. The armorers have something for you. The doctor wants to examine your inner pony. And I want you in my bed.”

Celestia is holding Court so ‘informal’ will have to wait. Steel will likely have something to add to the list but is worth being right with so I’ll start there.

His clerk waves me through. He jumps up behind his desk to bow to me so I salute him and we both chuckle. I get comfortable and he closes the door.

I said, “I’m officially back, at least for now. Farm life is good and my inner horse loves it.”

Steel nods, “Everything here is calm. Your legend has grown another notch. It’s hard to miss the difference in Twilight. And I have a report that you will probably want to address personally. It involves loud noises and colored lightning on several occasions from a region between the Everfree and Sweet Apple Acres. It’s been suggested that it might be another arrival similar to yours.”

“Did that report also mention anything about wobbly stars?”

“No but there was some mention of those here at about the same time.”

“Who made the report?”

“It was made by the local weather Pegasi at the request of a number of local officials. The are asking for a squad to investigate. Am I correct in assuming that you are involved in this somehow?”

“For the record, I am completely aware of everything that happened and there is no danger or concern for anypony anywhere. The rest is Royal business and nopony else’s.”

“John, you’ve told me you have a favorite playground somewhere around there. Are you telling me you took a Unicorn out there?”

“Nope.”

“An Alicorn?

“I can’t tell you that.”

Steel nodded, “I understand. The report was made by Rainbow Dash, who is one of the Element Bearers and a very stubborn pony. You might want to pay her a personal visit.”

“We’ve met. In fact, I just came from arranging rain for the farm so I know what you mean. Prince John relieves you of this responsibility.”

“Thank you. I’ve heard the armorers have something ready for you. Want to go check it out?”

“Hell yes. I might even wear it to this conversation just for the effect.”

They did good. They not only have a beautiful and fully functional sword, somepony had put some thought into a scabbard. It has a belt with a broad strap that goes from just outside of my left knee to the belt then up and over my right shoulder and back to the belt in the front. There is a short and fairly wide mouthed scabbard on the bottom and two hooks for the cross even with my right shoulder. The hooks have some spring action to them so the sword takes a lot of effort to start up but will be free almost immediately. It could be extremely dangerous for anypony too close behind me but I can get it around and into action about as fast as a conventional sword. I like it a lot and say so.

The sword has my mark in the pommel and the entire Royal Herd engraved on the blade with Celestia on top and me on the bottom. Celestia’s mark and mine were slightly larger than the rest. Holy crap, this is naming me herd stallion and protector.

I put it all on and head for the lab. Making sure everypony is clear, I dial up my strength a little and practice drawing and swinging it. It is sweet.

One of the armorers tells me, “That post over there is our proof test. It’s extra hard wood. Hit it hard as you can. The depth will tell us how hard you hit and any flaws in the blade will come out then.”

So I square off with the post and it feels like cutting bread, mushy with drag but no real resistance. I cut the post clean through.

They are just beaming, “The blade is enchanted to be unbreakable and always sharp. You just proved it.”

“I don’t know how to say it. The first blade you made saved my life and my hope for this one is to save Equestria. Good work, hell, great work.” And we bow to each other.

I’ve got to find some challenges for those two.

I leave Steel at his office and still have a couple of hours left so I head for the doctor. The double takes at my new sword are hilarious. The admin nurse doesn’t question anything. Major John was too much for her so Prince John is scary.

I unbuckle my sword and get undressed in the exam room. Doctor Red comes right in.

“What’s this about a pony body?”

I sigh, “I’m working on one but I’m not there yet. I do have a complete and fully functional horse body. I’ll show you in a minute but first you have to know that the horse body has practically no vocal ability. I can understand you but I can only answer by things like head movements or pointing.”

“Go ahead.”

So I bend over and shift before my hooves hit the floor. The doctor blinks then starts a normal exam.

“Do you have your magic in this shape?”

I nod.

“I can hear the multiple heartbeat so there is no doubt it is your body. Your skeletal structure is subtly different but within the realm of possible for a pony. The same applies to most of your organs with the eyes being the most striking difference.”

He looks at my mouth carefully, “No, you’ll never speak understandably with that structure unless there’s a translation spell of some kind.”

I change back and say, “I’d like a semen sample taken too. I’ve got a sterility spell on my human body and I’d like to be sure it applies to this body too.”

“I can tell you that already, it does. Any Unicorn can see it if they know where to look.”

“Good, I’ll still have to find out if I’m making pony sperm or horse sperm but I’ll leave that until I have the sterility spell removed.”

I promise the doctor to come back for that fertility exam and some other detail work and then I promise myself some dinner.

Swift is sitting at the table. Twilight is deep in whatever she has going on in her library. Spike is ranting at Twilight.

So I get involved, “Hello, Twilight.”

“mumble mumble”

“You’ve got to do better than that, Twilight.”

“In a minute.”

Spike just looks disgusted, “It’s been ‘in a minute’ for forty five minutes now.”

“Last chance, Twilight.”

“Just one more minute.”

I count it down then reach over and grasp Twilight around the barrel lifting her and walking toward the stairs. It gets loud.

“Twilight, language like that in front of Spike?”

That slows her down.

“You need to eat. I need to eat. And we need to talk. After dinner the problem will still be here.”

“Put me down. I’ll eat. But someday you’ll go too far.”

“That relates to one of the subjects I want to discuss. Please take a good look at my new sword in the rack next to the front door.”

“I don’t care about stallion games.”

“It’s not the blade I want you to see. It’s the decorations.”

A very somber Twilight came to the table.

“Does that mean what I think it means, John?”

“I know almost as much about it as you do. I am going to be standing next to Celestia when she raises the sun in the morning and it will most certainly figure into the conversation somewhere. When I leave there I will have to run an errand to Ponyville. When I return I will come home to here.”

Swift wants to know, “What’s in Ponyville that we just missed?”

“I’ve got to clean up your mess.”

Swift is surprised, “My mess?”

“Yeah. Remember that deal you made with Cadance? Well the locals are demanding an investigation of the loud noises and bright lights from our campsite.”

“Oh no. You made those lights and noises. That’s another of your messes, not mine.”

Twilight is giggling and Spike is just confused.

I have sympathy for Spike, “It was one of those heat week events, Spike.”

We groom a little while then pile in the bedroom.

I love the feel of feathers. But a small voice is saying, “Zero four hundred, John.” So I must put them aside and stumble to the toilet. I hear Swift doing the same on the other side.

Spike has that wonderful tea ready and a few cups later I am beginning to resemble life. This morning will be different. I will dress in an official uniform and carry my sword when I leave here and have breakfast but no PT.

There is an electric atmosphere when I step into the cafeteria. Everypony rises and bows. Swift heads for the window to get our food. I acknowledge and take my seat. My sword takes the seat next to mine. There’s a lot of quiet conversations going on around the room.

Swift brings my favorite and we eat quietly.

“Swift, you don’t have to go with me.”

“I want to. And you need somepony to watch your back.”

“You can’t go with me when I speak with the Princesses. You’ll have to wait in the throne room.”

“I understand.”

“I wish you could. It’s an experience that more ponies should have, standing between Luna and Celestia as they change the night to day.”

Luna is sitting on Her Throne looking bored.

“Hail, John Sampson and Swift Trail.”

“Hello, Your Majesty.” And bow to her.

“Thou art here with the ultimate goal of Audience with Celestia.”

“She has asked for me but I choose to visit with friends also.”

“Well said, friend John. Let us adjourn to somewhere more comfortable.”

She rises and we follow her to the garden behind the Throne Room.

She seats herself and, “Have great care, friend John. I believe that Celestia be building a Throne for thee. Accepting it wouldst mean the end of many things for thou.”

“Have you seen my new sword, Luna. It makes a very interesting read.”

I turn to make it easy for Her to see.

“Truly, friend John, this confirms thy fate. Thou must admit to walking merrily to thyne gallows.”

“I don’t see that.”

“This season last, thou covered every mare of the Royal Herd save one. Thy be one short step from Herd Stallion. Thy sword shouts My Sister’s intention to take that step.”

“Friend Luna, will you grant me a small favor? I wish for Swift to accompany us to the balcony and witness the Majesty of the Sisters. It would not be safe for her to witness Celestia’s machinations so you would have to bring her back down to wait for me in the Throne Room.”

“It would be my pleasure, friend John.”

“By the way, it will amuse you to know that we will travel to Ponyville when we are done here for the purpose of allaying fears of a magical disturbance some weeks ago in a small pasture between the Apple farm and the Everfree Forest.”

That gets a full laugh from Luna, “Oh, John. Were we so loud?”

“It seems a habit with me.”

Swift is looking disturbed.

“Friend Swift, be thou enjoying thy introduction to the Royal lifestyle?”

Swift replies, “It’s my fault. John was there because I made a deal with Cadance to trade time with him for time with Shining.”

Luna casts a sympathetic look at Swift, “And how did it come to pass that Cadance was there at that moment? Because Celestia invited Her? This be the very nature of life with My Sister.”

Luna motions for us to follow. We trace the familiar path to the special balcony where Celestia is waiting. I’m getting used to it but Swift is frozen in awe. Then it is done and I’m heading to confrontation with Celestia. Luna is shepherding an awestruck Swift.

We make our way to a familiar kitchen where two cups of tea are waiting.

Celestia is all smiles, “I am proud of what you’ve done for Twilight. My faith in you has been more than justified.”

I smile back, “Thank you, just remember that I did it for Twilight, not for you.”

“I have heard that you are on your way to Ponyville to attend to some Royal Affairs.”

“I’d say more like squash a Royal Affair.”

“I see you’re wearing your new sword. How do you like it?”

“I love it. The decorations confuse me, though.”

“You know what it means. We need to break you in gradually and get to work on that plan of yours at the same time. Next season we can confirm your full status. You can start by sitting court with Twilight occasionally.”

“Be explicit, Celestia. You know I won’t be a figurehead.”

“Herd Stallion, Consort to me and co-ruler should be enough. If your plan to improve the herd works as well as your plan to improve Twilight, you will have earned it.”

"What will Luna do?"

"Luna will do as she does now except for fewer boring government functions. She will like it better.

"And you think the Blueblood herd will just accept their loss of status?”

“Will they have a choice?”

“They will always have choices, just maybe no good ones. Beware of ponies that believe the first step to winning a thing is making sure that you don't. And Celestia, no matter what the world sees or believes, my mares are protected. That is absolute and includes Twilight.”

“I have no problem with that, John. You have some of the finest mares in Equestria. Your band will be making the finest foals, exactly what we need.”

I make my way back to the Throne Room and collect Swift. She is still somewhat in shock but she has a message from Luna.

“Luna said to take the Royal Train. The Herd Stallion rates it and it will get us there and back before lunch.”

Luna must have ordered it readied because they were just pulling up to the platform when we got to the station. We board and are on our way.

Swift is sorting through many things, “John, what have we got ourselves into? The Sisters have the power of goddesses and we are taking to Royal train to Ponyville because you covered one of them. It hurts my head to think about.”

“Swift, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Celestia is herd mare to all ponies. She is going to do what is best for the greater herd no matter how it affects any individual. That isn’t a bad thing but she’s been alone in this position for a thousand years. She has lost many things we take for granted and doesn’t remember what she’s lost.”

We ride along deep in thought for a while then the train begins to slow. We are approaching Ponyville.

“Please, John, take AJ there as soon as you can. She needs to know who they really are.”

It is morning in Ponyville. The world is shiny and new as ponies begin the day’s business. We head for the weather office across town.

There it is organized chaos when walk in. They are getting the day’s assignments out. Rainbow Dash is in the back of the room directing things.

Rainbow looks up, “If you have any changes you better make them fast. The crew is leaving in minutes.”

“No changes. This is an official visit. Get your crews out then we'll talk privately.”

A few seconds later I heard a gasp behind me. Somepony has noticed my sword. More ponies arrive and there is a hushed conference.

“We’re sorry, Ma’am. We didn’t know.”

They’re bowing to Swift.

Swift turns on them and opens up in her best Sergeant to worm voice, “You still don’t know. Read the rest of it!”

“Ma’am, we don’t recognize the mark in the Stallion’s position.”

I turn slightly and pull my pants down enough to expose my flank. Several exclamations followed.

“Forgive us Your Majesty.”

My point is made, “Nothing to forgive. The Title is new so you wouldn’t know. Get on with your jobs so I can get my business done.”

In a few minutes we are walking into an office behind Rainbow. Swift closes the door behind us.

Rainbow bows and motions for me to take her chair, “Please forgive me for my conduct yesterday. I didn’t know about your Title.”

“I didn’t either, Rainbow. Celestia made the decision while I was working with AJ on the farm. I’m wearing the sword to accustom myself to the weight because I got it after returning to Canterlot yesterday. But I’m here because you have made inquiry into Royal business, my personal Royal business.”

“The only inquiry I’ve sent was to the Guard to ask for an investigation of unknown phenomena near the Everfree. Is that it?

“The very same. I was there myself for all events and I can state absolutely that there is no danger or concern for anypony anywhere. The rest is nopony’s business.”

“Is there anything else I can tell the mayor? Several ponies are worried it may be something dangerous.”

“Like me? You can tell them that I said it was my personal business and that I might consider too much curiosity as a personal challenge.

“Rainbow, you’re not stupid. Take what you know about ponies in general, what you know about these incidents, and what you learned today and put it all together. You’ll figure it out and then you will never say a word unless you want a whole flock of pissed Alicorns after your ass. Use me as a club to scare the mayor into line.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. And thank you.”

“And just for your information, AJ is a Duchess too.”

“Good to know.”

We head off to visit AJ on the farm and let her in on the news.

We walk in the kitchen door to find Granny baking and AJ in the front room updating records. I draw my sword and prop next to the door. It is just too much for the rack.

“Where’s Big Mac?”

AJ replies, “He’s in the barn doing wagon maintenance.”

I turn to Swift, “Could you go get him?”

She runs out the door.

AJ is curious now, “I’m not mad but I am wondering, why are you back so soon?”

“I have an announcement to make but I want Big Mac in on it too.”

Swift comes in the door with Big Mac about half a minute later.

“Granny, since you are an expert on swords, could you please come read this one?”

She walks up to it and stretches to get a good look at the top of the blade.

“This definitely from the Royal Armory. It has their signature all over it. The whole Royal Herd is on it including AJ and Swift. And it has John listed as Herd Stallion opposite Celestia.”

Big Mac recovers first, “John, who all did you have in the pocket pasture?”

“I can’t give you details except to say they were all Alicorns.”

“No wonder it was so loud.”

Granny has fallen over and is laughing so hard she can barely breathe.

“I . . . I . . . told you . . . he is a good stallion.”

“Granny, you know we can’t let that get outside the Herd?”

“Of course, colt”

AJ is looking worried, “Where does this leave me and Swift?”

“AJ, my exact words this very morning, ‘no matter what the world sees or believes, my mares are protected. That is absolute and includes Twilight’. Celestia agreed. Get Swift to tell you what her morning was like.”

Swift took a deep breath, “AJ, we stood between Luna and Celestia as they lowered the moon and raised the sun. There is a lot more to the Royal Herd than just being Royal. You need to go and experience it for yourself. You especially need to talk with Luna for a while.”

We have more stops to make so we say goodbye after a short detour to see Fred. My first priority is Rarity.

As we are walking in the door Rarity gushes, “Your Majesty, come right in. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Then you know what I need if I’m going to be holding Court. You might also want to allow for this sword on a few outfits.”

“You can have anything that you can dream of. I’ve spoken with Twilight and you deserve it for what you’ve done for her.”

“Rarity, everything I did, I did for Twilight. Period. You owe me nothing and I will pay you if I have to toss gold bricks through the window. And I’m ‘John’ when we’re private. Save the pomp and circumstance for official functions.”

“Okay, John. What else can I do for you?”

“Upgrade Swift and AJ too. No great hurry, just deliver it to the Palace when you’re done or set a date for fitting. I may be traveling but not for long.”

We pass through the cafe and get a big box lunch. The train is ready to go when we get to the station. We board and that is it. Nothing to do but enjoy lunch and grooming until we get to Canterlot.