John Sampson's Story

“John, John, John. Of course I got an official report on that incident but all that drama gets filtered out before it gets to me.”

“Celestia, that ‘drama’ turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. Ponies opened up to me after that.

“But there’s more to the story. Let’s continue.”

Fred is slowly grazing his way to his sleeping spot but he looks to have some time to go before he gets here so I sit down to wait. In just a few minutes Swift Trail comes striding up.

“John, I want to thank you for taking care of Colt like that. He’s had a hard time being both the newbie and a colt in a mare’s world. His life just got a whole bunch easier with a stallion officer to look up to.

“And speaking of that, just what is your rank?”

“I was a Chief Officer in the Fire Service. That complicates things for the military mind. When you reach that level we are interchangeable parts. I might be a clerk at one incident and commander at the next.”

“Should I salute you?”

“Fire Services don’t salute or make big deal of rank except for public ceremonies. We’re more about certifications and qualifications.”

I am saved from further confusing Swift by the arrival of Fred. He walks to his sleeping spot and settles in for his nap.

“That’s interesting. He’s gone sound asleep right in front of us. He trusts you. That means you can stand watch for him. Let me know if you start hearing him.”

“I can hear him right now. He’s snoring lightly.”

“No, I mean directly. He doesn’t have a verbal center in his brain so he doesn’t think in words and logic like we do. But he does surprisingly well with images and concepts. For example, his true name is a concept of his identity, a picture of Fred and his personality. I have it in my mind but I can’t transfer an image of his personality to you with words. So we agreed to label it ‘Fred’ for convenience. He doesn’t understand letters and words but he can recognize them and remember that this particular combination is his.

“Just now he was quite amused to find you here with a strong subtext of approval. I don’t have the first clue why but the feeling is unmistakable. Even more confusing, his feelings affect mine directly and vice versa. Sometimes the divide between his mind and mine isn’t clear, especially when strong emotions are involved.”

“But, John, surely humans and horses have had many years to work these things out. You said your two kinds have been partnered for millennia.”

“We have. There are whole breeds of horses and schools of humans that exist specifically to bond the horse and human as thoroughly as possible. But those all involve physical means. Information is transferred by touch, sound, or sight. This is different. I will be sound asleep in the morning and he will call me to come out and watch while he sleeps. I will awaken and rush out.

“Do you remember when we first met and Twilight nearly ruined it all? Even though I was pinned down facing away I knew that Fred was being carefully handled. I could feel what was happening to him as though it was my own body. That has only happened since we got to Equestria.

“Which is one of those ‘Great Questions’ that I have been wanting to ask; do Equestrians of any species or relationship have this kind of connection?”

“When strong magic is involved, anything is possible, John. You’ve already seen the Elements in action. Princess Luna can enter and control any dream. And a few Unicorns can enter your thoughts to heal or verify things for you. But these are all specific situations, not a continuing relationship. This is a question that you are going to have to ask a magic expert someday. If you can’t trust Twilight, when you have been accepted into Equestria you can petition the Princesses directly yourself.

“Now I have a question for you. You said that you should terrify me. What do you mean by that?”

“Humans have a kind of strength that Equestrians have never needed. What you saw in the common room just now is an example. Suppose that Twilight had been sitting there instead of me when Colt came running in the door. She would have just wiggled her horn and the problem would have been solved. That was exactly what Colt was looking for. When there was no Unicorn, everything broke down. The pony response was ‘FIND A UNICORN!’. The human response was ‘Skunk smell is sulfur based. What is available that neutralizes sulfur? Make a plan to acquire and apply it.’

“In the Fire Service I was a wildland specialist. Without magic, wings, weather control, or anything but my wits and knowledge I regularly faced and defeated a foe measured in thousands of yards. Think of what I could do as a two eyed man in the land of the blind ponies if I chose to do ill.”

“I think you are underestimating ponies, John. We have lived for thousands of years our way and overcome many obstacles. I think we will survive one human.”

“Swift, my friend, I pray that I am underestimating ponies. And that one human doesn’t get lost in the solution best for ponies.”

“Now, John, I want to hear about ‘a foe measured in thousands of yards’.”

We swap war stories for the next hour and change. I found out that Swift Trail and her squad are what I would consider Special Forces and have seen some action against Changelings and Diamond Dogs besides the occasional monster patrol. I couldn’t put a finger on it but I got a strong feeling that there was something that she wanted to say but couldn’t.

<! Happy. Approval.> And Fred stands up, stretches, and drifts out towards the pasture for his night graze.

“Well, Fred is happy and approves of something but didn’t offer a clue what.” So I stand and we start back to the barn and dinner.

“John, I would like to ask a very personal favor of you. You don’t have to do it and I don’t want you to if it steps on any human taboos.”

“Swift, even if I didn’t consider you a friend, I owe you for some of the things you have done for me. Don’t worry about my comfort or convenience.”

“Do you remember, John, when I told you that ‘friend’ has a special meaning for ponies? Well I want to be friends in the pony sense. For all of your strange ways you are closer to me now anypony has been in a long time. I like you.”

“Tell me very carefully what is expected of me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you by not understanding something peculiar to ponies.”

“The only thing that would change is the favor that I want of you. I want to sleep with you in your room.”

“Swift, we need to make one thing crystal clear first. ‘Sleep with you’ is a euphemism for sex among humans. I would be thrilled and honored if that is what you mean but it isn’t required. We just sleep on beds most of the time.”

“All I want right now is a good night's sleep. I admire the way you watch over Fred and protect him. You have surely noticed by now that I am the only pony here that sleeps alone? Sleeping alone is not natural for us but I have my reasons. If this works out and we are happy with each other, I will teach you the ways of pony courtship and who knows where it will end. But for tonight I just want to be in the same room with you.”

“Consider it done. Now what’s for dinner?”

Dinner is a treat, veggie stew and bread. Afterwards is something else. Suddenly everypony has questions. The amazing part is that they seem more fascinated with my service and rank than my species. I think I scared Colt, I told him how many school and training hours it takes to qualify for Chief. Swift has retreated to her office to write up the day’s report so I stick my head in and say, “I’m turning in. Come when you are ready.”

“I won’t be long.”

So I go to my (our?) room, get undressed, and stretch out on the big pad. I doze lightly for some unknown time when Swift enters with a small pad and lays it against the back wall. She settles down and I go back to sleep.

Something wakes me. It is the dead of night and just a little light is shining in from the common room. Then I hear a thump. It is coming from the back wall. I hear rustling and grunting. It is Swift Trail. I ease to my hands and knees and crawl to her. She is having a doozy of a nightmare. Suddenly I have understanding.

So I lean against the wall next to her head and gently stroke her cheek. After a few minutes her breathing changes and she says, “John?”

“Yes. I’m here. You were having quite a dream.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I woke you. I guess this isn’t going to work.”

“Wrong! I know what’s going on now. I’ve fought this battle myself, still fight it every now and then. And I know beyond knowing that you can’t win it by yourself. Come with me.”

I carefully pick her up and take her to the center of the big pad then I lay down behind her.

“John, what are you doing?’

“Listen to me carefully Swift Trail. Here and now and for however long you may need or want me I will stand between you and all who may seek to harm you. Be they of this world or any other I will keep them from reaching you.”

“John, I . . . .”

I reach out and pull her back against my chest with her head under my chin wrapping her up completely. Then the tension slowly drains out of her and she falls into a calm sleep. I follow her in a few seconds.

I am in the common area but the light looks strange. There was a large dark blue Unicorn sitting across from me. “Hello?”

“Hello, John Sampson.”

Then I notice the wings. “You must be Luna and this must be a dream.”

“Thou art correct John Sampson.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I have wanted to meet thee for some time but thy dreams were too alien for me. We have some common ground now. I wish to thank thee for healing Swift Trail. She has been a trial for me these few years now. She is a very good mare and will make thee happy for years to come.”

“Now you are confusing me. Do you have foresight?”

“No, but I have knowledge. Thou have just passed thy test for citizenship in Equestria. Thou hast declared unconditional love for a pony.”

When I wake in the morning the sun is already up. Swift Trail is gently rubbing her cheek against mine still wrapped up in my arms.

“Oh my. I think we overslept. But damn, it feels good. I wonder why Fred didn’t wake me?”

“John, do you think that we might have some breakfast before it is all gone?”

“Certainly. I fact I think that’s an excellent idea.”

“Then why don’t you release me so we can get up and walk to the common room?”

“Oh! I’m sorry. You just fit so well right there.”

I unwrap myself from Swift and rise to my feet. As I draw on my shorts and shirt Swift goes to her small bag near the pad she started the night on and dons her chevrons.

“You might as well move in here and leave the small room to be nothing but an office.”

“You are probably right, John, but let’s see what the day brings first.”

It looks like every single Guardpony from both shifts is sitting in the common room watching the door to my (our) room. As we step out they all rise and begin to stomp. I start looking around for a place to run.

“Calm down, John. That’s applause. They know what you have done for me and they are grateful.”

“There’s really no way to hide anything from a pony, is there?”

“Why would you want to hide anything so wonderful?”

“I don’t but I do want the pleasure of telling somepony and bragging about it.”

And she laughs. It is a small thing but oh so wonderful to behold.

Then the classic pony sense of timing kicks in as a strange Pegasus walks in the main door.

“Who are Sergeant Swift Trail and Chief John Sampson?”

We step forward and the courier gives us each an ornate scroll sealed with wax and bearing the emblem of a sun. “You are hereby summoned to appear before the Royal Court at your earliest convenience.” And she turns and walks back out the door.

Swift opens her scroll and reads. “We need to catch the next train for Canterlot. Aren’t you going to read yours?”

“I haven’t learned to read Equestrian yet. But I know what it says. My application for citizenship has been accepted.”

“That’s wonderful, John. But let’s be sure there’s nothing else.”

She unrolls the scroll and reads for a few seconds. “You are right, John. The Royal Court is going to accept your Oath of Citizenship. But there is more. you are going to be offered some sort of special appointment to the Royal Guard.”

“Wow. Just. Wow.”

“Hello. John? Grab whatever you need for a couple of days and a Royal Audience. We’ll eat on the way.”

“I’ll just grab my ‘go bag’. I doubt it’s all I need but it is all I have. Why don’t you put together a food basket while I go tell Fred what is going on.

And out the door I go at a full run. Fred is waiting right around the corner of the barn.

“Damned, Fred, that was a speech. Thank you for this morning.”

“Okay. Try not to confuse the nice ponies too much. I’ll be back as soon as possible.” And I sprint for the barn door.

We rush down to the station and get there just in time to see the morning train disappearing into the distance. No problem, our tickets are good for any train. And now I have a few hours to see my first pony town.

Ponies tend to see me first (I wonder if sticking up about twice as far from the road has anything to do with that?) and get big eyed and excited. Then they spot Swift in her full Guard uniform and calm down. We take a pretty good loop around town with Swift pointing out various stores and restaurants. I have no idea why ponies need signs, everything looks like what it is.

We have nibbled out of our food basket on the way into town but the plan is to have a full meal in the park and be back at the station in plenty of time for the afternoon train. We settle on a bench in the park with the food between us when I discover why the words ‘pony’ and ‘plan’ should never be used in the same sentence.

We have drawn a small parade as we pass through town, mostly wide eyed foals too fascinated to stop looking and too afraid to come closer. This is different. It starts as a bright pink streak zigzagging across the park. Swift says, “John, let me do the talking” By the time she has said that, there is a small pink pony bouncing in place in front of us.

“Hi there!You must be the new guy!I know you’re new because I’ve never seen anypony like you!I’m Pinkie!What’s your name?I’m going to throw you the best ‘welcome to Ponyville’ party ever!Everypony will”

“No, Pinkie,” Swift quietly said.

“be there!We’ll have cakes and ice”

“No Pinkie,” A little louder.

“cream and presents and fire”

“NO, PINKIE,” Full force.

“crackers and music”

My turn “NO PINKIE!” in full command voice.

“. . . . .”

Swift jumped in, “We are on or way to a Royal Audience, Pinkie. Do you want us to tell Princess Celestia that we were delayed by your party?”

“no” And it is like somepony had let all the air out her. She stops bouncing and just sags.”

I can’t let that stand, “Pinkie, we will come back to Ponyville and I will be honored to attend your party then.” Besides, I need some good public relations.

The air rushes back in and she starts vibrating, “Oh!I’ve got to start planning right now!This will give me time to get City Hall or a stadium booked!You.Promise.To.Be.There?”

“I’m sorry Pinkie but I can’t promise anything right now. The Princess has a job for us and I don’t have any idea when I’ll be where until She tells me. But I will let you know as soon as I know.”

“Okee Dokee!I’ll be waiting.” And a pink streak disappears into the distance.

“I’m impressed, John. Very few ponies can handle Pinkie that well. Right now we need to get to the station.”

So we pack up our mostly uneaten picnic and hit the road.

There isn’t much left of the day by the time we get to the Castle gate so I venture, “I guess we missed today’s Court. Is there a place to stay overnight?”

“We need to check in right here at this gate. We may go to Princess Luna’s Night Court or they may direct us to our rooms.”

“Lead on. This is your home territory.”

The guard at the check in makes a mistake. He glances at Swift’s uniform and says, “You know where the barracks are.” Then he looks at me, “And your business is. . . sir?”

“NO!” Swift is at full bristle. “He is Chief John Sampson, here to see Princess Celestia and I am Sergeant Swift Trail, his official escort by order of the Princess Herself.” And she throws the scrolls down on desk in front of him.

He doesn’t get a chance to read them. At the sound of my name two ponies lounging against the back wall of the office jump up and rush around the desk. One of them says, “We’re here to escort you to your rooms, sir. After you are settled in, Princess Luna requests your presence at an informal Night Court.”

I’m not going anywhere in that place without a guide. We go up, down, and up again. I swear we made five right turns in a row. But we end up at a large ornate door that opens into a suite well worth the trip. The leader of our escort says, “We’ll be right here when you’re ready to go to Night Court.” Then they take station on either side of the door.

I walk through until I see what I want. “Swift, this looks just like a shower to me and I’m going to use it.” I drop my bag on the bench just outside of it and start stripping. It takes a few seconds to decode the pony oriented controls but there are a limited number of things that can be done with water valves. I am getting lathered up when I feel a pressure against my leg.

“This will go much faster if you help me, John.”

“Of course. What are friends for?” I start between her ears and lather down her mane massaging the soap in as I go and pushing it down her neck and across her withers. The pattern continues until I have lathered her tail then I go back up and started under her chin working her neck, chest, and down her front legs in that order. From there I got across her belly and when I got to her teats I very gently separate them and ran a finger into the crevice between them. She is trembling a little but she spreads her legs to give me full access. Finally I go back up to her flanks and worked down her hind legs. She raises her tail and I carefully wash under her dock. She gasps as I ran the flat of my hand down her most sensitive parts.

Then we do it all over again with the shower hose. She is panting a little by the time she is thoroughly rinsed. “John, I love you and I have to tell you that as perfect gentlestallion and without taking any liberties at all you have just made me feel better than full on sex with a lot of stallions. Spring isn’t that far away and if you haven’t committed by then I’m not going to leave you a choice.”

“Full disclosure: I’ve already promised Applejack at least one date.”

“Not a problem. She’d make a damned good bandmare while we are off on Royal business and Fred already likes the farm. I have a strong suspicion that you could handle both of us easily.”

We towel off then I get dressed in my faded cammies while Swift puts on a fresh uniform. Yep, they are waiting for us as promised. This trip is much shorter, down the hall, around one corner and to the really big doors with dark blue Guards beside them. They open the doors and we walk in. Luna is seated on a large midnight blue throne floating about a ream of paper in front of a worried looking Unicorn.

She looks up and smiles at us then shoves the paper to the Unicorn who immediately beat a hasty retreat out the door. Stepping down from the throne she says, “Come with me. We will find a comfortable place for talk.”

We go through a small door behind the throne and out into a garden under the full moon. Luna gestures to a ring of low benches and we all choose one.

Luna starts off with, “We art here to assure that thou art prepared for the morning’s official Court. John Sampson, Celestia wishes that thy write thine own oath. She wilt judge thou on the quality of it. Swift Trail will wear her uniform. Dost thou have formal attire, John Sampson?”

“What you see right here is as close as I can get. I had packed for a trip through the woods, going on three years ago.”

“Can I borrow these clothes? I can have them duplicated by morning.”

“Sure. What else?”

“That should be enough. Thou will have enough to get thy oath ready by morning.”

Then I felt a faint tingling like electricity on my body and realized that my clothes are leaving me.

“Wait a minute!”

“Yes, John Sampson?”

“I thought somepony would come for the clothes after I have changed.”

“Why waste the time? It has been reported to me that thou walks naked like ponies sometimes. Is this inaccurate?”

“But in the Royal Palace?”

“How much am I wearing, John Sampson?”

“Point made. Go ahead.”

So I walk back through the Throne Room, around the waiting dignitaries, down the halls and create the myth that humans are naturally bright red in color.

Back in the suite I make my second mistake of the night. I get out a notebook and ballpoint pen and start working on my oath. Swift comes over to look at my work and gasps, “John Sampson, you have been holding out on me! I’m forced to write endless reports with quill and inkwell while you have this wonderful instrument just laying in your bag.”

“Swift, it’s not that simple. A ballpoint pen won’t work on the rough brown paper you use. It needs glazed paper like this notebook and I don’t have much of that left.”

She goes away mad. After about thirty minutes I have what I want and am ready for bed.

“Swift, what do you think about this?”

Nothing.

“Swift?”

Nothing. So I went looking.

She is on the bed, curled up, sound asleep. I just stand there in the door for a minute thinking just how much this is worth the effort. I turn the lights in the living room down to about half then turn the bedroom lights off. Enough light makes it through the open door to navigate by. I settle down behind Swift in the big spoon. When she feels me there she snuggles back against me and rubs her cheek on my chest without waking. Yes, this is worth all the effort and much more.

I wake as Swift begins to stir. We both stretch and rise to go see what the day will bring. We have a fully stocked kitchen but I settle for oatmeal and fruit, twice. Swift sneaked out with the first one.

There are some neatly folded clothes in various colors on the table in the living room. I choose the Navy blue pants with pearl shirt. I review my oath and I am ready.

“Swift, are you ready?”

“I’ve been ready, John. But we have to wait to be summoned.”

“Okay. Have I told you how wonderful it is to have you around keeping me out of trouble?”

“Not today. Have I told you how wonderful it is to feel love and friendship again after so long without?”

At that moment there is a knock on the door. Swift opens it to find four Guardponies waiting. “Sergeant, we’re here to escort you to the Throne Room.”

Down the hall and up to the big doors we go, two in front and two behind. The scene, when the doors are opened, couldn’t be more different. The Throne room is packed. It is standing room only from wall to wall. Ponies of every size and color are standing, quietly waiting. We walk up a clear lane in the center of the room and stand before three empty thrones.

Three Alicorns approach from my right. When they reach the thrones Luna seats herself on the leftmost, Twilight on the right and the big off white Alicorn (Celestia!) in the middle. Swift kicks me so I close my mouth and bow deeply.

The voice from heaven speaks, “We are told that you wish to become a citizen of Equestria, John Sampson. We will hear your oath.”

Deep breath. “I, John Sampson, do swear by all that is good and holy that I give my full and unconditional allegiance to the ponies of Equestria, that I will serve them as best as I am able, and that I absolutely and entirely renounce all allegiance and fidelity to any other state or people.”

“That is a mighty Oath, John Sampson. Do you take this Oath freely and without reservation?”

“I do, Your Majesty.”

“Very well. We accept your Oath.”

A ripple seems to pass through the room. Behind it everything is just a little clearer and brighter.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“Now, John Sampson, what are we going to do with you? Do you have any suggestions?”

“Your Majesty, I think that there must be some long and very private discussions before that decision can be made.”

“I believe that is wise, John Sampson. But you need a place to live and food to eat while these matters are weighed. Princess Twilight has been supporting you as a ward but that has ended when your full citizenship began. I am told that you have some military experience. Would you consider a commission in the Royal Guard?”

“Your Majesty, I was a Chief Officer in the Fire Service. The Fire Service stands between the Armed Services and civilian authority in nature. I had a limited authority over members of the Armed Forces but wasn’t fully part of them.”

“What rank did this ‘limited authority translate to?”

“When I was working with military personnel, I was considered a Major.”

“John Sampson, would you accept a commission to the rank of Major with My Royal Guard including all of the privileges and duties thereto?”

“Only with the proviso that I am a Specialist and not normally in the primary Chain of Command.”

“Again you impress me with your wisdom. It is done, Major John Sampson.”

“Sergeant Swift Trail, Major John needs an aide and guide. You have served exemplary as his guide up until now but he no longer needs a squad to watch him. You are hereby detached from your current assignment reassigned as Major John’s aide. Concurrent with your new assignment you are promoted to the rank of Captain. Stand forward Captain Swift Trail.”

Something floats up from beside the throne and toward us. Swift’s chevrons float off of her and over in front of me. I reach out and take them as Captain’s bars float into place on her.

“You are dismissed, my ponies. You will be contacted in your current quarters as details are worked out. Thank you for your service.”

The three Alicorns stand with Celestia and Luna walking back the way they had come and Twilight moving to meet us.

“Congratulations, Major. What do you think of Equestria now?” Twilight smiled.

“I spend my days drifting from amazement to confusion and back again. I had not realized that you were actually supporting me. I want to thank you for that.”

Swift spoke up, “Princess, he met Pinkie on the way here and emerged unscathed.”

Twilight’s eyes widened, “Really? John, did she tell you how rare that is?”

“I still owe her a party. We have to notify her when we are returning to Ponyville so she can organize it.”

Twilight laughed at that, “John, Pinkie is exempt from normal laws and rules. She will meet you at the station no matter when you arrive or if you notify her. But if you made a promise, even implied, keep it or suffer the consequences.

“Are you ready to answer my questions now?”

“I was thinking of you earlier when I said ‘long private discussions’. But I believe a lot of ponies are curious about Equestria’s newest citizen and I have an entire life and career to organize. At the least I should find the Guard headquarters and say hello. So can the questions wait a day or so?”

“Of course, Major. I can summon you any time I want.” But Twilight is grinning from ear to ear as she speaks it. “Now go mingle.”

As soon as Twilight steps back about half of Equestria surges forward. Most of them just want to be seen with the hottest new thing in Canterlot but a few are interesting. Swift did a yoepony’s job as a buffer. Eventually my stomach reminds me that lunch time has come and gone. So I ask Swift, “where can we get some food besides the kitchen in our room?”

“Do you feel up to visiting the Guard Barracks? Since we are assigned to Princess Celestia’s Guard directly, the castle is our station. We need to report in and get ID and such worked out. And there is a cafeteria.”

“Lead on.”

It isn’t simple or direct but we make our way out the main door and find our escort waiting for us. They snap to attention and Swift orders them to take us to the CO’s office. We turn the other way when we get to the hall our room is on. And we march farther and farther back into the castle. The architecture changes, becoming more utilitarian and I begin to see Guardponies moving around. Finally we stop in front of an office door. There was lettering next to it but that doesn’t help me. Swift dismisses our escort and opens the door.

Inside is a nondescript unicorn behind what is obviously a clerks desk.

Swift delivers, “Captain Swift Trail and Major John Sampson reporting.”

The clerk turns to the open door beside her and announces, “Captain Swift Trail and Major John Sampson reporting.”

She motions us through. We walk in and Swift faces the sole occupant snapping off a salute. I take the hint and do the same.

A tough looking Unicorn returns salute and looks us over. “So you’re Celestia’s new toys.”

Swift opened her mouth to say something but I beat her to it, “I want to be completely honest with you Colonel.”

“Go ahead.”

“’Major’ was a Brevet rank. I tried not to claim it but it’s hard to say ‘no’ to Princes Celestia. My real rank, that I did claim, was Chief Officer. I made it from raw recruit to the highest rank attainable through achievement and accomplishment. But that’s the Fire Service, not an Armed Service. I fought forces of nature, not armed enemies. The Brevet rank was so I could deploy and command Army units for manpower or special skills in major disasters. I’m nearly clueless on Equestrian Armed Forces but I am NOT a summer soldier.”

“That’s an interesting story, Major. I’m curious why anypony would want to fight with natural forces?”

“On Terra there is no magic, nothing but brains and brawn. Somepony has protect the civilians from fire, storms, earthquakes, etc.”

The Colonel nodded. “Do you have any way to verify any of this?”

“Other than demonstrating some esoteric knowledge, no sir. I just took my Oath of Citizenship this morning. All of my history is in my pocket or on another world.”

“Wait a minute. Major, that was you this morning?” Something has just changed.

Swift spoke up, “I was there, sir. It was him.”

“That was one potent Oath. I think all of Equestria felt it. How do you see yourself fitting into this Service?”

“Colonel, I doubt I’ll ever be anything but a Specialist. I have knowledge that Celestia needs so it is good to keep me well fed and protected. I am quite proficient with some weapons but none of them are available in Equestria. On the other hoof, I have never held a sword in my life. It might be a plan to send me through basic so I can learn some Equestrian ways.”

“Major, now I’m curious what kind of weapons you can be proficient with that would replace a sword.”

“Colonel, Captain Swift Trail is one of the very few Equestrians to have seen one of my weapons in use. Ask her about our first meeting.”

“Go ahead, Captain.”

“My squad was sent to the Everfree on a monster patrol. We tracked him to a clearing deep in the forest. He saw us as soon as we set a perimeter. From a position of concealment nearly a hundred yards across the clearing he ordered me to approach unarmed. I stepped out of the woods with sword still buckled. There was a very loud noise and a rock two yards from me exploded into fragments. I slowly placed my weapons on the ground while signaling one of the Pegasi to report our situation to Command. I believed that I was facing an extremely powerful Unicorn.”

“Have you seen this weapon since, Captain?”

“I don’t know sir. I didn’t see it then but I have since seen many strange metal shapes and materials that I don’t recognize in his possession. It is likely that one of them did it but I don’t know which one.”

“Major, would you demonstrate this weapon for me?”

“When Celestia gives me permission, yes sir.”

“Good answer, Major. We may get along yet.”

The Colonel took a form out of his desk, checks some boxes, signs it and hands it to Swift.

“The Company Clerk will set you up. Take good care of the Major. Dismissed.”

A quick salute and we are out of there. And none too soon. My stomach is beginning to make some noise. We pause in the clerk’s office next door and leave the paper there, receiving a promise that everything will be ready by the time we have finished eating.