I Don't Even WANT To Fuck You!

Ember's eyes bored into you. “So, we’re going for a tour, it seems?”

You could almost taste the disdain in her voice. “You really want to do that?”

Her countenance broke. “No!” A huff. “I could tell Twilight was lying through her teeth. Did I scare her off? Was it the whole hunting thing? Because I wasn’t even telling the—the… the most grisly parts.”

Poor thing. She’d seemed like such a strong and confident princess, and it almost felt like you’d managed to reduce her to less than that with your comments. Granted, she hadn’t been an angel herself, but did you really need to goad her so much? She hardly seemed the most secure.

You hazarded a smile. “You know, us humans aren’t exactly hunters ourselves. We’re meat eaters, but we farm animals. Raise docile livestock for slaughter, no danger or real sadism involved. I hope I didn’t give you the wrong impression.”

Ember simply chewed on a finger for a moment, taking in your words. “The way you pushed me for answers earlier, I got the impression you were an experienced killer.”

“I was just curious, is all.” Bullshit on your part, you just wanted to catch her in a lie. That last line tickled your ego, though. “A killer, huh?”

“Why else would Twilight hire you to be her bodyguard?”

You couldn’t help laughing. Ember simply stared at you as you chuckled to yourself. “I don’t think I’m as tough as you’re imagining, princess. Size can be pretty deceiving.”

Ember nodded. Nodded and smiled. “I’ll say. Twilight’s only a small pony, but she’s very tough. She constantly impresses me…” A sigh. “I should’ve been more polite with her, shouldn’t I?”

Now, that was the truth, but it was hardly why Twilight left, either. You couldn’t exactly tell her that, but you didn’t want her beating herself up, either. There was something likeable between this dragon’s exterior. Something softer. “I think Twilight likes you, Ember. Values you as a friend. I’ve known her for a while, and I don’t think she’s the type of pony to make excuses just to get out of spending time with someone. Besides, she seemed like she was enjoying her time with you.”

Ember blinked, lips parted. “You… you really think she was?”

“I’m sure she was.” You nodded. “Twilight’s never been good at faking a smile, I’d know it if she tried.”

“Is it bad that I can’t tell the difference?” came the socially awkward squeak of the little princess. “N-not that I care either way.”

Of course you don’t. “I take it dragons do things a little bit differently than ponies?” A nod. “Don’t worry, it took me a while to get used to how things are around here too. I’ve only lived in Equestria for a couple of months, after all. It’s nothing like home.”

Ember leaned into you as you spoke, watched the motion of your lips. “How about getting used to a creature like me? I know I’m pretty different to the average pony.”

“I think I could get used to you, definitely.”

A grin. “I’m glad to hear that.” She bit her lip. “I-I mean, just because it’ll help me with getting closer to Twilight, and—”

You cut her off. Probably not the best idea, but screw it, this is what Twilight gets for leaving you to your own devices. “Why do you do that?”

Ember knitted her eyebrows. “Do what?”

“That.” You pointed at her. “You act as if you don’t care about anything or anyone, but you clearly do. You don’t have to pretend that you’re not interested in other people, or ponies… it’s just silly, really.”

You witnessed an oddly effeminate snarl. “What did you just call me?”

Was your suit flame retardant? You’d find out soon. “I didn’t call you silly, I said you were acting it. But if you must know, yeah, I didn’t exactly get the best impression of you when you walked in being all rude to me.”

She lost the aggression in her tone. She looked sheepish, wide-eyed and stuck on what to say next. “It’s… difficult for me to act like ponies do. They’re all holding hooves and being happy and nice to each other, and dragons? Well, we argue. We fight. We give orders, and punish those that choose not to listen. It’s a different world.”

She really was a strange one. “And you don’t like that world?”

“Of course I like that world! It’s the one that I’m lord and princess of, and the responsibility to take care of it falls on me! I haven’t got time to be playing nice with everyone!”

“And yet you want to act more like Twilight, clearly. That’s why you’re sad that you might have scared her away. You don’t have to pretend with me, Ember. Or anyone, really. You can just be yourself.”

She spent a few moments in silence. Maybe she was contemplating what you said. Maybe she was fighting back the urge to smack you. When she eventually spoke, it was in a hesitant whisper. “You’re sure I wouldn’t look weak if I said what I was really thinking all the time? Even when I’m happy or excited, not just angry or annoyed?”

Whelp, time to channel all of your sagacious energy. “There’s a time and a place to be tough.” You placed a hand on her shoulder. It was forward, but she looked like she needed it. “Around your friends isn’t one of them, I promise. You can relax around us, and we’ll take care of you.”

Jeez, maybe Twilight was rubbing off on you after all. Ember recoiled from the touch as if it burnt, skittish and tensed in a moment, looking ready to fight. She soon slowed down when she realised that it was simply a soft, comforting gesture. She seemed to even relax into it a little. “You aren’t my friend, though. You’re just Twilight’s friend, and you thought I was mean to you. Why are you being nice to me?”

It really confused her, didn’t it? “Hey, just because we aren’t friends now doesn’t mean we never could be. Sure, you’re a bit of a bitch, but I don’t think that’s anywhere near the real you. Just gotta keep digging to get the real Ember to come out, yeah?”

Okay, you still weren’t a friendship princess just yet, but the sentiment was there.

“Funny how you grow a backbone the moment that Twilight leaves,” Ember commented, though she still made no move to break the contact between you. “You’re right, I’m not the nicest, and I’m not going to pretend I am either. I’m not even offended, really.”

She then chose to punch you on the arm. It hurt. “Is this what ‘not offended’ feels like?”

A wry smirk. “Didn’t mean I was just gonna let you call me a bitch, did it?” She prodded a finger into your chest. “You just going to stand there and take that?”

You rubbed your sore arm, but the pain barely registered beyond the playful glint in Ember’s eyes. “Eh?”

“I hit you,” she said matter-of-factly. “It felt pretty good, to be honest.” She twisted her body, reangling herself and cracking her back as she did so. A few soft clicks sounded—she ran her tongue across her teeth. “Hit me back. Let’s see what you’re made of.”

“You’re mad.” Okay, probably shouldn’t have let that one slip, but fuck, you didn’t know what else to say. “I’m not going to hit you! You’re… you’re—”

“I’m what?” She gave you an overly confident smirk, and then a wink. You’d obviously pressed some kind of button, and this was quickly leading to kinky, perhaps abusive territory. You were understandably perturbed. “You think you’re too strong for little me? That you’ll hurt me? Have you forgotten that I am a dragon?” She made a short hissing sound, a small measure of her scorn for the notion. “Strike me, human. Show me what your species can do.”

“Y-you’re sure?” You glanced down at your hands, half-balled into fists. Could you really refuse her? She might have been smaller than you, and sure, you were worried about hurting her, but if you said no, things might turn out even worse. If anything, Ember seemed to be buzzing with anticipation, stretching and moving and repositioning herself as she prepared for the incoming blow. “What if I hurt you?”

“Then I’ll be awfully impressed,” Ember snickered. She rolled her neck between her shoulders, squaring up, her chest only a couple of inches off of yours. You could feel the heat radiating off of her. It was like standing next to a hearth on a cold winter’s night, what with the chill that ran through you as you considered what might happen next. “But honestly, I don’t think that’s going to be an issue.”

Know what? Fuck it. Let’s do this. Pulling back, channeling a measure of your strength, you struck out, catching Ember in the hard scales of her upper arm. She laughed at you. Your arm went limp, and you resisted the urge to check your knuckles for cuts. “Satisfied?”

“Pahahaha, what was that?!” She looked at her arm, looked at it twice, searching for anything to give away that you’d even struck her. “You’re twice my size! I expected to at least feel you, but that’s it?!” She gave you a poke on the nose, instantly making you feel exactly half her size. “Honestly, I can’t put into words how disappointed I am. That was like being swatted by a—”

You struck her again, harder. You’d had enough. Who was she to sit there and make fun of you like that?! Enough, enough, enough, she could fucking chew on that and screw herself while she was at it.

A slight wince, but she retained her smile. “Okay… maybe you’re not completely infantile, but come on! I expected you to at least make me cry out, not just stand there all limp-wristed in your stupid piano suit and embarrass yourself!” She dropped her arms, untensed them. Blew you a kiss. She was the most condescending, rude thing you’d met in Equestria, you were certain of it. “One more shot. I won’t even look. Have fun trying.”

True to her word, she closed her eyes, and you had an idea. It was a dirty tactic, and you never would’ve usually done it—hell, you never would’ve looked for any way to hurt a female—but these were desperate circumstances, as there was no way she was living it down if you failed again. You moved around to the side of her in order to get a better angle, then swang a heavy hook right for the inside of her bicep, the softest part of her arm you could find.

Even then, the scales were fucking hard, but there was some actual give! Not only that, you heard a short, feminine ‘ahh!’ from Ember as your punch struck true, and before you knew it, she was hopping back in place, pushing her tail into the floor in order to regain her balance. She shot you the dirtiest look you could imagine. “I-it’s not like that even hurt! You’re lucky I don’t knock you over for that!”

Your grin almost split your face. “Really? It didn’t bother you? Suppose you won’t mind if I try again, then?”

Suddenly, Ember’s eyes were wide. “N-no! This is a stupid game, and we could be doing much better things. Why did you even suggest we do this?!”

“Erm, actually, you were the one who—”

“Whatever!” She was rubbing at her arm, attempting to soothe the pain, and the moment you caught her, she flicked her hand away and tried to style it out. “You think you’re so dominant because you landed a lucky hit on me? I could conquer you in a second! Silly human.”

“Sure you could.” You’d had enough of humouring her at this point. She was so fucking boisterous every time you gave her the chance, and it was beginning to turn from cute to irritating. Time to nip it in the bud. “If you’re so sure, do it.” You planted your feet firmly, getting ready to deflect her. “Come on, put your money where your mouth is. Prove you’re not just hot air.”

Hot air was exactly what came next, or rather, Ember breathing fire right over your head, because apparently you’d forgotten she was someone who could do that. You ducked instinctively, crashing into a nearby table as you hit the floor, attempting to save your precious face from being cooked. Your side ached from the collision, but when you looked up, you didn’t find Ember lording it over you, much to your shock.

In fact, she appeared more worried than anything. “Oh jeez, I just did that, didn’t I?”

“Nearly set me on fire, you mean?” You blinked. “If so… yeah, you just did that.”

Instantly, she sank to the floor with you, sitting right over you. “I… I’m so sorry. Honestly, I got so caught up playing that I forgot you weren’t another dragon, and…” she moved to cover her mouth, but shook off the impulse. “I’m teasing you a lot, but honestly, I can’t talk to ponies like I talk to you. This… this is how dragons treat each other, and you play along, and, and…”

“And you just nearly burnt me to a crisp?” you offered, feeling something between affection and angst emanating from your companion.

“...yeah. That.” What she did next shocked you, but you couldn’t stop it if you wanted to. Partially because dragons have partially strong grips, mainly because you didn’t want to. She wrapped herself around you, tail coiling around your leg, her chest on yours, arms pushed between your sides and claws lightly trailing your back. She pulled you close to her, looking into your eyes, reflecting back a fiery pool alight with emotion. “D-dragons don’t hug. It’s not a thing we do, and… I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but I was so scared that I was about to hurt you, and… I hope this helps.”

She wasn’t lying. Beneath the feeling of her soft, firm breasts against your chest, you could feel her heart hammering with anxiety. This wasn’t an outcome she wanted whatsoever. “I’m glad you’re being honest. And… no, I can’t pretend I’m exactly thrilled that you almost turned me into a human raisin, but I appreciate the sentiment.” You hugged back, squeezing her as much as you could manage. It was difficult to tell if she could really feel the impact through her tough scales, but she looked content. Her eyes lidded, her breath shortened, to the point that you could make out each individual exhale, feel the warmth of it against your cheek. “Apology accepted, princess.”

Ember’s voice was weak. “There’s a lot more I should apologise for, but…” She gave herself a little nod. “I know you’re not a dragon, but I kinda wish you were. Don’t get me wrong, I l-like you as you are, but I feel like I have to be super careful with you, and—” She chuckled to herself. You shared a laugh. “I’m just being silly.” Her voice cracked. “If… if you tell anyone you saw me like this, or that I hugged you, I’ll… I’ll—”

“Beat me up,” you smirked despite yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t get tired of it after all. “Got it.”

Ember looked like a chastised puppy. She forced the petulance from her face before it could develop. Hazarded a smile. Allowed herself vulnerability. “N-no. I’ll… I’ll do this.” And then she did that. What was that? She kissed you.

Well, it wasn’t really a kiss. It was just about the most demure thing you’d ever felt, including Fluttershy’s voice on your ears. A solitary, lingering peck that channeled only a modicum of the softness in Ember’s soul, an outreach to you. It was an affirmation of her interest, her desire to have something with you, to apologise, to progress in your friendship to somewhere yet untrodden, it was…

You had no clue what the fuck it was. It felt really nice, though, when you weren’t busy trying to psychoanalyse her or rationalise it. You kissed back, but only briefly, only long enough to feel the warmth of her lips, the softness of her, the fleeting touch of lightness juxtaposed to such a tough exterior. It didn’t feel like she’d cracked, though, like there was a glint in her armour.

Rather… it felt as if she’d finally opened up.