You arrived at the dining room, mare and dragoness in tow, and Twilight had really put out a spread. It was all gems and daisy sandwiches, of course, as Twilight couldn’t cook for shit, bless her, but you supposed the food wasn’t exactly for you. Part of you wondered what it would be like to chow down on a big chunk of crystal. The rest of you valued your teeth too much.

Come to think of it, the crystal addicts of your world didn’t value their teeth much either.

Ember was rather non-committal as she sat down, no grace, no waiting on ceremony, and when you attempted to hold a seat out for her, she scoffed at you. “I can do it myself,” she grunted, eyeing you like some kind of annoyance before planting herself in the seat and lurching forwards, causing an ear-slicing scraaape across the marble floor.

Twilight gave you a little shrug, eyes pleading, and you ignored the urge to cuss her out for your friend-slash-employer’s sake. You did hold out Twilight’s seat for her and tuck her in though. It felt nice doing nice things for ponies that actually appreciated it. You remained standing to the side of Twilight, who was at the head of the table, if only because you were scared your weight might make tinder of a pony chair. Your eyes fell on the pair of them—Twilight daintily picking at her sandwich in lieu of pleasantries—and then darting to Ember.

She took a small taste of one of the red gems on her platter—you imagined it to be a ruby. It was only when she’d placed the shard in her mouth, gently suckled on the end of it, as if appraising it, then given the end a small bite that you finally saw something change in her eyes.

You were caught between two conflicting notions that fought for control of your brain. On the one hand, here was this hot dragon bitch who liked to spend her time sucking on gems, and you couldn’t help but appreciate the way her lips and forked tongue moved as she licked and lapped at the edge of it in a way that you could only describe as intentionally inappropriate.

Then a smirk, and you watched her chomp down on the edge of it. You could almost swear she glanced at you the moment she did it. You winced involuntarily. Was she still pissed about the whole ass staring thing?

Or was this how dragons flirted?

But that wasn’t the most interesting part. One bite of a gem led to another, and all the while, you could see a spark beginning to rise in this creature that until now had seemed entirely disinterested and annoyed by everything around her, save Twilight. She seemed to restrain it, if only for a moment, but eventually, it was too much, and a long ‘mmph’ carried from the base of her throat, the sound carrying a pleasant, warm and husky tone.

Yes, it made the hairs on your arms prick. Luckily, your prick didn’t prick.

A strange contrast ensued. While Twilight sat there in abject discomfort, attempting not to cringe at the display that came forth, Ember lost herself to her meal, the spike of her id overpowering everything else, impulses unleashed. She ate in a fervour, choking down one precious gem after another, sometimes multiple at once, and all the while, between bites, her ravenous smile only grew.

You couldn’t decide whether it was cute or perturbing. You were pretty sure the only reason you weren’t fearing you’d be her next meal is because you still had a couple of feet on her.

...that said, she had a pretty fucking hard bite to her, and could most likely breathe fire. You weren’t sure if you fancied your chances.

But something about that? You liked something about that, and even if you’d seen little in redeeming qualities from this girl in the minutes you’d known her—in fact, you’d only seen negatives—something in you appreciated watching her enjoy herself, especially after her presenting such an abrasive front earlier.

When she had finally finished eating, she still bore a smile, but it seemed relaxed. Placated. Almost a little vulnerable. You were sure you liked that.

Twilight looked relieved, too. “You liked your meal, I take it?”

A Cheshire grin. “Oh yeah, it was fucking spectacular. You really spoiled me, Twilight, thanks a lot.”

Okay, that was different. Like, really different. Words like that were the ones you spent most of your time thinking in your head and not so much saying out loud, because ponies don’t swear much. The slight momentary discomfort on Twilight’s face gave away that she’d hardly expected it, and even you, curse word extraordinaire, had your mouth agape. Wasn’t this meant to be a diplomatic meeting between two dignified leaders?

Then Ember let out a belch. Like, a legitimate ‘urrrp’ as she rubbed at her small, soft belly. You thought you might be in love with her.

More than anything, the way her tone changed was unreal. Had she just been hangry all along?

“I’m… I’m really glad you enjoyed it!” Twilight was being genuine. You could see the mixture of relief and happiness that she’d managed to do something well for a friend flooding her face, and while it was cute and all, for once, you thought you might have found something that interested you more. Namely, the tough as nails dragon girl that still knew how to smile and say ‘thank you’.

You never would’ve guessed her capable of either until now.

“Hey, ebony and ivory,” Ember pointed at you, motioned you over with an incline of her claw. And hell, you were just about to hazard a genuine smile. You actually thought she might be okay. She had to ruin it, didn’t she?

You forced a grin nonetheless. “What is it, your highness?”

“Oh, quit all of that. It’s insufferable. I’m only a princess when I wanna be.” She tilted her head. “Why aren’t you eating? You’re just… stood there, like a piece of furniture.” She snorted, a small giggle sounding. “Like a piano, come to think of it.”

She wasn’t going to let that up anytime soon, was she? “It’s not my place to sit and eat with the two of you,” you said, trying to remember your practiced air of class. “I’m only the help. I can take your dishes if you’re done with them, however?”

“That’s stupid,” Ember said matter-of-factly. “You’re a big boy, you should have something to eat too. Why don’t you try something from the table?”

You looked to Twilight to save you. “Erm, Ember? Anon can’t really eat gems, just like a pony couldn’t, and he can’t eat plants like daisies, either. They just don’t have the right kind of stomach for digesting it.”

Ember raised an eyebrow. “Okay, so what do you eat, and why isn’t it here with the rest of the food?”

Twilight raised a hoof, lip bitten. “Well, typically, he—”

“I think he can speak for himself, Twilight. I asked him.” Her large, crystalline eyes focussed on you intently. “Tell me about yourself, human. I’m kinda curious, but only a little.”

Twilight looked taken aback, and you were equally shocked. The idea that a visitor would even have any real interest in talking to him specifically, rather than just speaking about him, regarding him as some kind of ornamental oddity, was absurd in both of their books. You cleared your throat, emotions bouncing back to ‘pretty content with this’. “Well, I mostly eat meat, fish, and greens, maybe a little dairy here and there, but—”

“Ponies are alright with meat eaters, then?” Ember’s eyes were a little wider than usual, as if the discovery was a big deal. “I always assumed that they didn’t like the whole killing and eating thing, considering they don’t do it themselves.”

Twilight looked slightly pale all of a sudden, and for once, you were happy to answer for her. “They’ve gotten used to being around races like griffons, who are entirely carnivorous. That’s where I get my meat from, actually, griffon traders that come by. Yeah, it’s not something that’s exactly popular in Equestrian culture, but it’s hardly illegal either. A lot of ponies don’t like it, is all.”

“I was always a little scared by the dragons that ate cattle and wild animals when I was younger…” the moment that escaped Ember’s mouth, she clamped a hand over it, cheeks redenning. “I-I mean, yeah, until I tasted my first—umm—morsel.”

She didn’t look entirely convinced that was the right word. You were nowhere near convinced that she’d ever tasted meat a day in her life. Also, she looked incredibly adorable whilst blushing. You shouldn’t have, you knew you shouldn’t have, but you decided to have a little fun with this. “So, what was that like? Your first kill, I mean.”

Somewhere in the background of both your peripherals and your thoughts, Twilight looked quite faint. You were seriously going to have to apologise to her for this later.

That said, Ember didn’t look much better. Rather than going through the intense discolouration that Twilight was, she was growing increasingly cherry red. Her tail flicked and she stuttered in a false start. “I… it was—” She looked like a beetroot. You fought the urge to laugh. You heard a growl emanating from the base of her throat. You had to imagine that she would like her first to be you at this point. “It was a glorious hunt.” She nodded to herself, as if to affirm credibility. “Three days and nights in pursuit, and then I cornered the beast.”

You leaned in, not even having to feign interest. This was gold. “What was it that you were hunting? Who were you with? I’m curious as to the specifics, princess.”

“It was a…” Ember seemed to mentally flick through the list of both mythological and barnyard animals then, as she was really stalling her reply. She was clearly uncomfortable, and you were starting to wonder whether you were pushing things a little too far here.

After all, how could you complain about insufferable dignitaries when you too were being a dick?

“A salamander!” Ember buzzed, her eyes lighting up with confidence. “It was a salamander.” All too quickly, she forgot she was meant to be nonchalant one, and began to pick her teeth with a gemstone, playing it as cool as she could. “Pretty gamey, to be honest.”

Twilight couldn’t help but pipe up. “Aren’t salamanders incredibly rare, with almost impenetrable hides?”

The previous self-assurance was a ghost on Ember’s face now. “I…”

Ah, fuck it. You’ve amused yourself enough. “Twilight, we probably shouldn’t question the princess too much. I’ve already been asking a ton of questions here.”

Twilight instantly looked as if she’d trodden on a splinter. She recoiled with a gasp. “O-oh, sorry. My mistake, anon is right. It’s very impressive that you were able to hunt a salamander, Ember.”

You could tell the word ‘hunt’ was anathema to Twilight, and you could just as well tell that everyone apart from you was made uncomfortable by this conversation. Still, the fact that you’d managed to get away with prodding Ember like that? Enjoy having the tables turned, bitch!

You looked to her, still internally gloating, but… the satisfaction wasn’t there. The happy but imputent dragon from earlier only seemed awkward and embarrassed now, attempting to move the conversation to a place where she couldn’t be cross-analysed. She looked at you with some mixture of annoyance and wonder, and her eyes seemed to linger for longer than they should’ve.

Maybe she really was planning to murder you. Hopefully not.

Pleasantries were reestablished, and this time, Ember didn’t make such an active attempt to fight them. She might’ve been worried that you’d try to trip her up again. She seemed to be cautious in her conversation, which seemed uncharacteristic for someone who up until now had really said and done whatever the hell she wanted.

And so you decided to back off a bit. Seeing her like this wasn’t fun for you at all. Teasing didn’t make you feel nearly as good about yourself as you’d hoped it might’ve, and the more you watched this dragoness speak and listen, the more you wanted to be a part of the conversation again. She’d taken an interest in you. She’d approached you in an unconventional manner, and treated you with… psuedo-respect? More than the nobles had given you, certainly.

And now she just seemed vacant, like she was only half in the room.

Everything spiralled back into motion when Twilight jolted up with a start. “Oh! Oh, oh gosh.” She looked between the two of you, shaking her head to herself all the while. “Oh no… I’ve just remembered that I’m meant to be peer marking student assessments for the school today!”

Anon.

You looked to Twilight as you heard her voice, but she was still rambling on about all of the things she supposedly needed to do at the school to Ember. Teacher training and safety inspection both made the list, which was odd as you could’ve sworn Twilight hadn’t mentioned either lately.

Anon. Listen to me.

“What is it?”

The two of them stopped and looked at you as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ before going back to their conversation. “Can’t these things wait a few hours?” Ember asked, eyebrow raised. “I did come a long way to meet you here today.”

I don’t really have to go and do all of this organisational stuff.

You… just really want to? A beat. Twilight, are you in my head?

Yes. It’s the only way I could talk to you without Ember hearing.

Okay.You paused. Don’t look at the porn.

I’ll pretend I didn’t.

Twilight was still rambling on to Ember as the two of you were having this telepathic conversation. She could multitask like a motherfucker. You could barely take a shit and ruminate on your life at the same time. So… why are you going to the school? You know, apart from the fact that you clearly want to.

Even through her flurry of bullshit to Ember, you saw a blush develop on Twilight’s case, and knew it was from your comment. I don’t! I mean… maybe a little, but that’s not the point. I just want you to… spend a little time with Ember. Do me a favour and give her a chance.

You had to prevent yourself from tilting your head. It was difficult to not respond when something this weird was happening. It didn’t feel like a thought with Twilight’s voice, either. It was kinda like a strong bassy thing that bounced around your noggin. Why do you want me to stay with her? She clearly doesn’t like me.

You heard Twilight giggle-snort in your head. She also seemed to do it in reality, which threw Ember for a spin. Just trust me, Anon. I know friendship. And the way that Ember looks at you? That’s friendship.

You stole a glance at Ember. She eyed you up like a particularly juicy steak.

...right.

Honestly, Anon. I know she comes across as hostile, but do you remember what you were like when we first met?

You thought back. There was a lot of swearing and shouting and denial about the whole magical horse thing. You thought you’d been slipped PCP or something. Point taken. I really don’t think we’re going to get along, though.

If I’m wrong, I’ll clean your room for a week.

You put a finger to your chin. If you’re wrong, you have to eat with chopsticks for an entire day.

Deal?

A devious smirk. Without magic.

...deal. Don’t start a war while I’m gone. I’m trusting you.

“—luckily, Anon is happy to show you around the castle while I’m gone, aren’t you Anon?”

You blinked, trying not to seem like someone who had just been conspiring. “Err… yeah!” Manners. “Yes, of course I am. It would be my pleasure to.”

“I’ve seen most of this castle before…” Ember stopped in her tracks for a moment. She looked at you, stole another glance at Twilight, and then nodded. “It’s fine. If you have things to do, I’m not going to make you stick around all day for my sake. I’m sure the human can find a way to keep me occupied.”

“Wonderful!” Twilight beamed at the pair of you, nodding ecstatically as she began to back out of the room. “Now, I really need to get going, have fun you guys, bye!”

And like that, she was gone, and it was just you and the angry dragon.

Author's Note

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