Hunter the Hunter

"Ellie, there's no point in packing bags. They can't even go there." Unfortunately, the eldritch realm cannot be described, nor what anything actually looks like. Well, some things can be described. Such as the following. Ellie sighs and the aforementioned stop existing.

"I'm just so nervous Hugo! I've never met a mortal before!" Ellie says this in a very nervous voice.

Hugo thinks back to earlier....

Steafe, another eldritch god (I'm calling them 'Great Ones' from now on.), was sitting at a "table" with the other Great Ones. "Fine. We'll draw straws. Shortest straw has to help Ellie with her transfer."

A voice echoed through the room. "What could be so bad about Ellie?"

Everybody rolled their eyes, Steaf telling the voice why it was so. "Ellie's going through her fertilization cycle. Mortals call this 'the period' and it is a nightmare with Great Ones. Also... OEDON YOU LUCKY BASTARD!!!! Anyways, let's do this, and may whomever is above us BESIDES OEDON have mercy on the short straw drawer.

They all drew the straws. "All right, reveal." Everybody did so.

"Oh no."Everybody looked at Hugo.

Steaf shrugged. "Well, sucks to be you. Bye." Hugo stood up and left, now knowing what those 'Milennials' felt like.

"You'll be fine, Ellie. Just make sure to actually talk to him, don't run away and hide. He's a mortal, not one of the Greater Great Ones, like Oedon."

Suddenly, Steaf shouted, the walls slightly reducing the volume. "OEDON DOESN'T COUNT!!!!"

Hugo shook his head. "Anyways, leave as soon as you think you can. I must go."

Ellie waved at him. "BYE!!" Hugo waved back slightly and walked out, closing the door.

"OH, SHIT!!!"

"What the fuck did you do?!"

"I ACCIDENTALLY SENT A TON OF DARK ENERGY TO HUNTER'S REALITY!! NOW EVERYTHING THERE COULD BE TURNED GRIMDARK!!!" Ellie kicked down Steaf's door.

"YOU DID WHAT TO HUNTER!!!!????" Ellie was so pissed that Oedon was scared.

Steaf replied in submissive terror. "D-don't worry, everything will be the same on the surface. grimdark secrets and shit. He's a hunter, he can handle it."

"IF Hunter is injured in any way, I will tear you into a mortal." Steaf swallowed hard. He wanted to cry in a corner. Ellie ran off, terrified that Hunter would be hurt if she didn't act quickly.

Oedon spoke up. "Well, you're fucked."

"OH THANK YOU, I DIDN'T FUCKING NOTICE!!!!!!"

Hugo interrupted them. "Moving on, how can you fix this, and if not, make it not as horrible?"

Steaf sighed and slumped in his seat. "We can try to influence his interactions with these grimdark things, and turn it into a neutral interaction rather then a negative one. Basically, we can make him not die."

"But..." Hugo began.

Steaf sighed sadly. "But if he fucks it up, it can turn negative."

Hugo facepalmed. "He's going to do precisely that. Perhaps we can give him a bit of a boost?"

Steaf sat up. "Like what?"

Hugo thought for a moment. "How about a couple spells?"

Steaf shrugged. "Will do."

"Hunter!" Hunter woke up, recognizing the voice calling out to him.

"Hugo?"

"Great, you can here me. There's a big fucking problem. Steaf accidentally sent tons of dark energy to the reality you're in, and now, under the surface, everything has a grimdark secret. We're giving you spells, but that's all we can do."

Hunter groaned. "Oh, for fuck's sake! Can I get away from this SHIT for five fucking minutes! Holy SHIT!"

Hugo scoffed. "Apparently not. It's like a shitty writing tactic."

Hunter waved it off. "Anyways, let me sleep, I'll deal with it in the morning."

"WAIT, one more thing! This grimdarkness has changed The ponies: Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Princess Luna!" Hunter nodded and closed his eyes.

Hunter was standing in a field covered in white flowers. The moon was shining bright, and behind him, a dark blue pony was staring at him, a harsh glare on her face.
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Hunter broke the silence, having chose his words very carefully. "Yo, wassup?"

"I am not interested in your primitive speech, mortal."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Your archaic insults do not work on me."

"Ah, I see..."

Silence.

"Leave so thoust may fucketh thine own form." The pony got into an aggressive stance. "I highly suggest you leave immediately."

She scoffs. "Is that an threat?"

Hunter's tone turns sarcastic. "No! I'm trying to give you tea and fucking cookies! YES, it's a fucking threat!" Luna charges, but the distance is very far. A voice from nowhere starts singing a tune.

"What sound does a helicopter make?" He stabs with a dagger that came out of nowhere, but he barely moves, leaving Luna confused. "Helicopter? Helicopter?" The dagger turns into something else, and the voice turns very artificial. "A helicopter goes-" The dagger is now a sword/spear thing, (A Bisento, I believe) and he begins spinning it overhead. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" Luna can't think, she collapses, and he slowly advances on her position. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" Luna tries to scramble together enough mental capacity to leave, but it is almost too difficult. The horrid repeating 'Swa' is burrowing into her mind. "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-" He is very close, and she manages to le- "-SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA-"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Luna stands up and runs, and after what seems like miles, she realizes that she escaped, and collapses, crying into her hooves. Bawling her eyes out.

"SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA" She jumped up immediately.

"Wh-who's there?" The landscape changed into an infinite field of white flowers. "N-no...NO! NO!! NO, PLEASE!!"

"What sound does a helicopter make?" Luna whimpered. "A helicopter goes SWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWASWA...."

Hunter had a nice sleep, and loved tormenting Luna. She was being a douchefuck to him. In his OWN dreams. Dumbass. Right now, he was sitting in the library reading a small book on what his spells were. "Wait, that's a spell?" He read it out. "'How to be a Helicopter'? Cool! Wait, there's a story to this?"