Author's Note

Hey guys hope I didn't keep you guys waiting long, and don't worry I'm working on part two as we speak.

Special thanks to my editor Codex92 for editing. Hope you guys enjoy.

Jokes on me part 1

(Fluttershy’s Cottage 3rd POV)

Laying on top of the couch within the cozy cabin, Johann slept soundly on his back. His leg twitched occasionally as he snored with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Truly, he was in a state of peace and tranquility. “EEEEEEEEEHHHH!!!”

Johann’s body jolted as the sound of a high-pitched squeal had snapped him from his blissful slumber and caused his body to fall off the couch, landing on his face. As the pain from his fall subsided, he quickly raised his head and looked around. “Fluttershy!?” He scanned the room rapidly until he spotted the yellow mare standing at the door whilst holding a letter within her hooves.

Said mare turned and let out a gasp as she quickly flew over to the downed dragon and gently rubbed his head with her hoof. “Oh my. I’m so sorry, Johann. I didn’t mean to startle you awake.” She made sure that he hadn’t suffered any injuries from his fall while continuing to rub his head.

Gently moving her hoof away, Johann slowly sat up. “I’m fine, Fluttershy, really. But why did you scream like that? Are you hurt? Or did something startle you?” In his time spent with the animal lover, he learned it doesn’t take much to spook her. He remembered one instance where a single leaf had fallen from a tree and ever so gently landed on her back. She reacted with a high pitch squeal and fell onto her back like an opossum playing dead. Such adorableness nearly gave the dragon a heart attack.

Her sudden bashful tone suddenly faded as a smile that could only be described as pure joy replaced it. “Oh, I’m so happy you asked!” She pulled out the letter that she was holding at the door and passed it over to the dragon. “The Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures have given me permission to observe the rarest, tiniest, most adorable creatures in all of the Equestria: the Breezies!!”

Seeing that this was of great importance to his friend, Johann smiled and passed back the letter to his friend. “Wow, Fluttershy, that’s amazing news.”

“Oh, it’s not just fantastic! It just might be the best news ever!” She stopped for a moment, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as she turned back to the dragon. “Well, aside from when I found out that you were alive.”

The black dragon chuckled before moving in and giving his caretaker a sudden hug, causing her to let out a squeak of surprise. “Heh, that’s nice of you to say, Flutters, and I really appreciate it.”

“F-Flutters?” She stuttered as her cheeks shifted from pink to red.

“Yeah, I thought it would be a cute nickname to use. Do you not like it?” he asked, mostly to make sure she wasn’t opposed to it.

“Oh! No, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it at all.” She smiled to reassure him that all was well. “Does this mean I should come up with one for you then?” she asked while curiously considering the idea.

Johann tilted his head to the side as he hummed to himself. “I mean, if you want, you can, but my name doesn’t really leave much room to give it one. If you shorten it, you would get John, which isn’t my name and would be confusing.”

This was indeed a challenge for the butter-yellow mare as she usually never took part in giving somepony a nickname. “Hmm. Let me think about it.” As she tried to come up with a nickname that was both easy to remember and that would show their sign of friendship, one name came to mind. “I know. How about Noir? It was one of the names that I was gonna give you when we first talked…Johann, is something wrong?”

Johann, while sporting a warm smile, had a distant gaze in his eyes that made it seem as though he was reminiscing upon a time once long ago. It was only when he felt a hoof on his chest that he snapped himself out of his daze and saw that his friend had a worried expression on her face. “I-I’m sorry, Fluttershy, I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just got lost in thought is all.”

“Are you sure? If you don’t like that nickname, then I can choose another one,” she said hesitantly, sensing that something was on her companion’s mind.

Nodding his head, Johann smiled to ease her mind. “I’m sure, Fluttershy. That nickname would actually be fitting since I’m well accustomed to it.” He could see the confused look on her face, and he knew that she didn’t understand why, given she only mentioned the name once prior to the current conversation. She had no idea that he went by that name for the better part of a year alongside his other friend. Not wanting to talk about the past, Johann was quick to try and change the subject. “So, this letter is big news, right? Maybe you should go tell your friends. If you have to go somewhere, then I’m sure you’ll need to pack for this trip, right?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as a point was made. “Oh my gosh, you’re right, Noir! I need to go tell my friends and find somepony to watch over my animals while I’m away! And I have to pack some saddles before it’s too late!”

The pegasus mare quickly made her way to the door before being stopped by Johann’s paw. “Hey, if you want, I can watch over them. After all, since you’re letting me stay here, it’s the least I can do for you.”

“Really? You’d do that for me, Johann? I hope it’s not too much of a bother for you”

He waved it off with a smile. “You kidding? It will be a breeze. Besides, I help you whenever you need it before, so it’s not like I don’t know what to do.”

Before he could get an answer, he was suddenly hugged by the mare, who nuzzled her muzzle into her chest. “Thank you thank you!!” she chirped as she looked up at him. “That would mean so much to me!”

Not wanting to be rude, Johann returned the hug and smiled as they held each other for a few moments. “So, did you want me to come with you to let your friends know the good news?” Out of the corner of his eye, Johann could have sworn he had seen something move by the window, but when he turned his eyes to look at it, he saw nothing.

Gently pulling away from the hug, Fluttershy looked up at her friend. “Um, not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but aren’t supposed to be taking Apple Bloom over to Zecora’s today?”

She was indeed correct, as it was only yesterday that he made a promise to the little filly.

(The day before. Johann POV)

One would think after spending a certain amount of time here in Equestria, you’d be used to anything new, right? Nope, because just when you think nothing would surprise you, something far crazier shows up.

Case in point. It was just a normal day here in Fluttershy’s cottage, the occasional animal swinging by either looking for food, love, or help. Honestly, I’ve seen more wild animals here in Fluttershy’s home than I did on Earth and my time in the Arena combined. But as I have probably mentioned before, the creatures here are unlike the ones from back home. Predators and prey alike all gathered under one roof with little to no conflict, each one displaying a level of sentience that, if they could speak, they’d be no different from the other creatures that can speak in Equestria. But this was the norm for her place, and much like a hand grenade being thrown in, shit went past ten on the crazy meter. All of a sudden, a smoke bomb went off in the house, and I found myself temporarily blinded and felt some rope being wrapped around my legs and wings. Almost like a reflex, I tried to fight against my bindings and roared in defiance, ready to fend off my attackers. However, what had attacked me was well-versed in the art of military combat. When I had snapped one rope with my jaw, my mouth was quickly tied shut and felt the ground beneath my feet slip from me as I was suddenly hanging upside down. The smoke was slowly subsiding, and I turned to look at my four attackers, much to my surprise and shock at who they were. They had cold blue eyes that had the stare of a seasoned veteran of war. Their black and white feathers glistened in the sunlight. Their beaks…Ah, who am I kidding? They were freaking penguins, for crying out loud!

Yep, you heard me. Penguins. I was hogtied by four little penguins. If I had any pride at that time, it was surely gone by now from all of this. It took a few minutes before Fluttershy came rushing in to defuse the whole situation and tried to keep me from having penguin rotisserie for dinner that night. As per usual, she went and introduced the black and white menaces. First was the tallest of the bunch, who seemed to be the “smartest” of the four. How do I know this? Dude had a pencil and notepad and was writing down three-dimensional algebra.

The next one scared me the most of the four. For starters, he had this crazed look in his eyes like he was itching for destruction. He had a scar on the side of his beak, and get this, he can regurgitate practically anything, and I mean anything. You want a can opener? He had it. Want a bone saw? He had it. Need a stick of dynamite? Motherfucker had twenty of them, lit and ready to use!! If I hadn’t cut the fuses when I did, there would have been a massive crater where Fluttershy’s house is right now, yet she brushes it off like he was only playing.

Then there’s the third penguin. I despise this one especially since he seems to be the leader of this little flock. He has this look to him like he’s always coming up with some kind of plan, always wearing this cocky smirk. I know Fluttershy said they are just “helpless” penguins, but I highly doubt it. And this one knows it, too.

Then there’s the last one…Well, honestly, I don’t dislike this one as much since he’s not only the smallest, but by far the nicest. Whilst Fluttershy was trying to cut me down and the other three penguins were busy high-fiving each other, this one walked up to me with a friendly smile, pulled out a big fat salmon from who knows where, and held it out for me. Now, I’m no expert like Fluttershy, but I had a feeling this was his way of a peace offering. Given the circumstances, I wasn’t too sure about it, but another part of me could tell he was trying to be nice, so I accepted the fish, and found it really delicious.

Once I was free, I decided that I needed to get some air and stretch my wings out for a while and took to the skies to do my daily flight exercises. But in all honesty, it’s mostly me enjoying the feeling of actually being able to fly. Ever since I was a little kid, I always wanted to fly like a bird, to be free and go where I wanted through the air. Up till now, I wasn’t able to revel in this feeling because I was either too busy fighting against creatures for the sick entertainment of the wealthy or using said gift to help rebuild a kingdom. But now, I was free to do as I please and had some much needed me time.

Although, there are times when I miss being human and being back on Earth. I miss my family, my friends, and some of the technology Earth had. But I knew that life had unfortunately come to an abrupt end, and I had a new life to live in a whole new world.

About ten or fifteen minutes into flying, I was starting to come up on the Apple family’s orchard, and every other time I see it, I’m always left in awe at the sheer size of it all. Apple trees as far as the eye could see. What’s even more mind boggling is how many work on this entire farm: four ponies total. I was shocked to find that these four ponies were in charge of not only cultivating these lands, but harvesting all these apple trees, too. I was told that Earth ponies were well versed in tilling the land to suit their needs, but this was an absolute marvel to me nonetheless.

While gliding over the farm, I noticed that somepony was flagging me down, and upon further inspection, I could see that it was Apple Bloom trying to get my attention. Not wanting to be rude and with nothing better to do, I slowly glided my way down toward the ground. “Hey there, Apple Bloom. How’s it going?” I asked as I tucked my wings in after touching down on the ground.

“Howdy, Johann!” She smiled before rushing over and giving me a hug, one I was happy to return. “Ah’m glad ya flew by the farm. Mah sister Applejack wanted to talk to ya.”

I was somewhat surprised by this since I rarely ever spoke with the apple farmer. Not that I didn’t enjoy her company the few times we had met, but it was mostly due to her incredibly busy work schedule. That mare puts the words “work horse” to shame. Fluttershy told me that she is in charge of the whole apple family business here in Ponyville, and she takes her job seriously…Very seriously, almost to the point where it might affect her own wellbeing.

“Well then, how about you show me where she’s at and I’ll talk to her.” Apple Bloom nodded her head and began to lead me deeper into the farm.

We walked and talked for a good couple of minutes before I heard a couple of loud thwacks in the distance. Sure enough, near a group of trees was the mare herself, working as hard as ever. But she wasn’t the only one there. Closeby was a stallion with fur as red as the apples he farms and an orange mane: Big Macintosh, or Big Mac for short. It’s honestly a good thing that McDonalds don’t exist here, otherwise someone was gonna sue for that name. I had met the guy once or twice before, and honestly felt at ease around him. Despite his large, almost bulky stature, he’s a calm, quiet stallion, and one of few words. The guy usually says two things, either “Eeyup” or “Eenope”. That’s it, but surprisingly, it wasn’t annoying.

My presence hadn’t gone unnoticed as Applejack had spotted us and waved her hoof after wiping her brow of sweat. “Evening, Johann. Glad y’all could swing on by,” she greeted me as she and her brother made their way over to meet us halfway.

“And a good evening to you as well, Applejack.” I looked over her brother and gave a smile and nod. “Big Mac.” He returned the gesture with a calm, cool smile. I turned my attention back to Applejack as I continued. “Apple Bloom said you wanted to talk to me?”

She nodded. “Sure do. Come on, let’s talk while we head to the barn.” I did so and walked alongside them as we made our way back to their barn. “So, Ah’ve been meaning to ask ya for a favor, partner. Tomorrow, me and Big Mac have to go make some deliveries out of town for a bit, and little Apple Bloom here wanted to visit her friend Zecora before she leaves to visit Zebrica for a traditional ceremony the day after tomorrow. The thing is that she lives in the Everfree Forest, and Ah don’t want mah little sister wandering in there all alone.”

Apple Bloom puffed out her cheeks in a pout. “Ah can look out for myself, Applejack. Ah wish ya stopped babying me all the time.”

“Now, sugarcube, ya know better than to go into that forest all by your lonesome. Just because you did it once or twice without bumping into something doesn’t mean it can’t happen.” It was clear that Applejack wasn’t going to budge on the matter, so Apple Bloom sighed in defeat. “Now, this is why Ah wanted to talk to ya, Johann. After seeing how you handled yourself with that big ol’ dragon from Canterlot, Ah reckon y’all could handle anything that lives in that forest. But Ah wouldn’t ask ya to put your life in danger. Ain’t nothin’ in there that is as bad as that beast. Just a few Timberwolves and the like.”

Ah, so it’s an escort for her sister that she needed. “Well, Applejack, if that’s all you really need, then I’d be happy to help.” I could see Apple Bloom bouncing up and down on her hooves as she heard the good news. “Now, did you want me to take her there and bring her back?”

She shook her head. “Nah, no need. Zecora will probably bring her back for us anyway.” I nodded once more. It was a simple request. Just take Apple Bloom to her friend and head back. Easy as that. “Now, Ah wouldn’t ask a favor of ya without paying ya for your time. How does twenty bits sound?”

I quickly shook my head. “Now hold on there, Applejack. I wasn’t planning on charging you anything. Both you and Apple Bloom are my friends, and I wouldn’t dream of asking for anything in return for helping out another friend.”

“Well, that's mighty kind of ya to say, Johann, but Ah insist on paying ya for your time,” she said the last part through gritted teeth. This was another thing I was told about Applejack: her incredible stubbornness. Many tales were told about this side of her. One such story was how she refused help from her friends when she needed to harvest the entire family orchard while her brother was out with a bad back. She did so until she was at the point of collapsing from exhaustion.

Of course, I was no pushover myself and refused to take a friend’s money when doing them a favor. “And I insist that it won’t be necessary, because we are both friends, and friends don’t charge other friends for something as simple as taking their little sister to a friend’s house. Did I say the word ‘friend’ enough for you to get the message there?”

“Now lookie here, partner.” Applejack moved in closer to me. “Ah know we are friends, and friends do things for others without expecting nothin’, but this is more of a gift than payment. So it would be rude on yer part to not accept the gift.”

Oh, she had me there. And with that, the tables had turned on me. But if that’s the way she’s gonna play it, then I’ll happily indulge in her little game. “Alright, Applejack, you’re right. It would be rude of me to reject your offer, so I’ll take the twenty bits.” She had a smile on her face like she had won, and she was going to voice her victory before I moved a claw to her lips to stop her. “With that being said, I’d like to buy twenty bits worth of apples from your farm, if you please.”

The look on her face was absolutely priceless. Her eyes widened for a moment as if to register what just happened before turning into a glare. “Why, you sneaky, no good!” Her face turned a shade of red that nearly matched her brother’s fur. “Ah saw what you did there, and that’s cheatin’!”

I faked a gasp of shock while holding a paw to my chest. “Me, cheating? Why, I never.” It took all my willpower not to crack a smile as she fumed while looking at me. “You wound me with such an accusation, dear Applejack. I decided to take you up on your token of friendship as you insisted upon. How I choose to spend the bits my good friend gave me is my own decision.” I dropped the act and leaned in close with a confident smile on my face. “Check. And. Mate.” I gave her a polite boop on the nose.

For the next five minutes or so, she and I had a heated debate going back and forth on me being given more bits then twenty, to which I just repeated my actions. But I knew that any way you shake a stick at it, she was giving up something regardless, and I was just stalling for time till I could think of something to accept instead. And that’s when it happened. Mid-rant, my nose picked up a smell that smelled heavenly to the point where it was almost mouthwatering. It smelled of cinnamon and apples, and I found myself unable to resist its call. My nose led me to the Apple family’s house, where an elderly pony was setting some pies out on a picnic table.

“Well, howdy there, big fella. You must be the dragon Apple Bloom told me about.” The elderly mare smiled. She had pale, lime-green fur, a white mane tied up in a bun, and wore a checkered scarf. My best guess was this was Applejack’s grandmother, Granny Smith. She motioned for me to come closer along with the apple siblings as she set a pie on a wooden cutting board. “Y’all are just in time for some fresh baked apple pie.”

Once again, my nostrils flared up to take in the sweet scent. The smell of baked apples and cinnamon was so unbelievably good that my lips were curling into a smile all on their own and my legs began to move me toward the picnic table. Soon enough, we all had taken our seats and Granny Smith began cutting the pie into five even slices before she started passing them out, beginning with me. She then pulled a set of glasses from under the table that I must have missed since my attention prior was on the pie. Once we each had a glass set in front of us, she pulled out a pitcher of an amber colored liquid and began pouring it into our cups. “Now, y’all be careful, dearie. That there pie is fresh out of the oven, so don’t go burning yer tongue now, ya hear?”

Despite her warning, I slowly leaned my head down to take a bite of the baked good. During my time in Griffonstone, I learned that my mouth could handle biting into something that would have burned a normal human’s mouth. A pie straight out of the oven wasn’t going to do me any harm. The closer my mouth got, the more I found myself resisting the urge to just dive right in. I could literally feel my mouth salivating in anticipation at the thought of the taste. Before I knew it, my jaw was slowly closing down on a chunk of the pie’s end. Carefully, I tilted my head back up and began to hew on the piece in my mouth. And that’s when it happened.

There were no words in any written language that could describe the taste that has graced my mouth in this very moment. The texture of the apples were perfectly baked and had a nice crisp crunch, yet were still firm enough to break apart with little effort. The filling along with the apples taste like the perfect balance of cinnamon and brown sugar. The crust wasn’t dry or flaky, which made this delicious baked good all the more enjoyable. This pie was so captivating that I failed to notice the smiling and giggling ponies who were watching my reaction. When I did notice, my cheeks flushed red, and I tried my best to recompose myself and salvage what dignity I hadn’t lost. I cleared my throat before looking over to Granny Smith. “This pie is absolutely delicious, Ms. Granny Smith.”

She waved her hoof while chuckling. “Anypony could see that there.” The Apple siblings were having a hard time holding back their laughs. “And just call me Granny. No need to be so formal with me, sonny.” I give a nod while still blushing a bit.

I noticed that Applejack seemed to perk up like she just had an idea. She leaned over to Granny and started whispering in her ear. I could see the elderly mare smiling and nodding her head in approval. “Hey, Johann, I have a new offer to show my thanks for takin’ Apple Bloom to Zecora’s.” I raised one of my brows, wondering what she could be planning now. “How does this sound, partner? As a sign of thanks for taking mah sister to Zecora’s, Granny here will bake a pie for you.” My eyes nearly bulged out of my skull as I almost started to drool again, and my tail started to swish from side to side without me even realizing it. She chuckled and smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes. So, we got a deal, partner?” she asked while holding out her hoof.

I didn’t hesitate to take it and shook it, sealing the deal.

(Present Day Johann POV)

“You’re right Fluttershy, I had nearly forgot.” I made my way to the door to go and pick-up Apple Bloom to make good on my word, before I left I looked over to her. “But I should be back in time to help you pack before you leave.”

She smiled and waved me off with her hoof. “Don’t worry about me Johann,you just go and make sure Apple Bloom gets to Zecora’s safely, it’s no big deal so don’t worry if you can’t see me off okay?” I gave her a nod before opening the door and taking off for Sweet Apple Acres.

Since Applejack’s farm wasn’t too far away from Fluttershy’s cottage, I managed to make it there in record time making up for the lost time spent. When I got their Apple Bloom was already waiting by the fence that sat on the edge of the orchard. Evidently her family’s farm was along the border to the Everfree Forest. I was told about this forest and how it was the most dangerous place in all of Equestria, when I asked why they said that it housed a large assortment of wild and ferocious creatures, all of which I’ve fought before back at the Arena. But what terrifies the ponies the most was that everything in the forest didn’t require the aid of the ponies. At first this didn’t make sense to me since from the way they described it, it almost sounded like how thing worked back on earth, but then I figured that these ponies were so used to being in control of everything from the weather to the crops they grow, that something like the Everfree is an enigma to them. And yet this Zecora that I’m taking Apple Bloom to see lives there with little problems. I’ll admit she has definitely piqued my curiosity.

With a few more flaps I glide down to meet the little apple farming filly and escort her into the forest. As we made our way inside I could definitely feel a change in the vibe around us. Their air while still breathable had this foreboding feeling to it that would send the faint of heart fleeing in terror. Yet as we walked I could see that Apple Bloom seemed to remain calm, even during the occasional branch snapping that even caused me to flinch. I guess since she sometimes comes through here on her own she is used to the creepy forest, a very admirable sense of bravery in my opinion. During our walk I did catch glimpses of some of the creatures said to live here. I saw a small group of Timberwolves and two manticores, one male and one female. Rather than try and pick a fight or try to harm the little filly was escorting they did something rather…odd. Whenever I locked eyes with them thinking they were gonna attack or try something they instead bowed their heads and moved on. This was surprising to me as this had only ever happened once before, and that was back at the Arena when me and Glenda were trying to escape. I had chalked it up to the other creatures knowing how strong I was and knew better to fight a losing battle, yet these creatures within this forest have never seen me but do the same. I didn’t bother over thinking it since this meant that getting Apple Bloom to her friend’s places would be that much easier for me.

When we finally reached our destination, we stood before a large tree that was made into a home. It reminded me of Twilight’s tree house/library, or as she would call it a treebary. However, where her home looked like a place to buy or rent books, this one had a slightly more witch doctor vibe to it. Along some of the outstretched branches were bottles of different shapes and color, and there were tribal masks hanging around including one above the door. Now some may find such a sight within this forest creepy or even frightening, I actually thought it looked cool. Mostly due to the fact that Apple Bloom already stated that Zecora was really kind and friendly, with this I knew I didn’t have to fear it.

Apple Bloom headed for the front door and waved me goodbye before taking my leave. I saw her enter the little hut as a zebra mare allowed her in. She looked over to me and waved her hoof and I did so in kind. As I was walking away I thought I heard her say the same something, but I was too far away and thought she was talking in rhymes so I couldn’t quite get what she said. I shrugged it off since I was heading back to town and could handle myself if anything wanted to try and start something with me. Along the way back I caught a glimpse of something that I hadn’t seen on the way through here, I found that my curiosity had gotten the best of me and walked over to investigate what it was I was seeing. Past some trees I found a large field of some of the most fascinating flowers I’ve ever seen here in Equestria. They were a deep shade of blue and looked like they were all in full bloom. Now some may not find something like this especially interesting, but since back on earth I lived in the city I could only ever see something likes this on tv or in pictures. Truly this new world I live in is filled with many wondrous and beautiful scenery. I leaned my head down to take in the flower’s scent and found them to be partially odd, not bad in any way but kind of funny smelling. The smell tickled my nose until I finally sneezed sending some of the flowers flying, some of which landed on me. A quick shake of my body and I was able to get them off. “Bless me.” After a while I had my fill of the view and decided to head back to the cottage to make good on my promise to Fluttershy and feed her animal friends.

When I got back to the cottage I saw that Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen, instead I found a note on the couch. After reading the note I saw that Fluttershy had already packed her saddles with the stuff she needed and told her friends the good news and got on the next train to leave Ponyville. I did feel a bit guilty for not seeing her off but I’m sure she didn’t mind since she knew what I was doing today. So, with nothing else to do I decided to get an early start on the chores that Fluttershy would normally do. It didn’t take long since it looked like she had already done half of the work, most likely before she had left. So with nothing to do until later on I decided that I could afford to take this time for a little nap. I shifted my size to a normal pony and hopped onto the couch, doing my usual spinning in place to soften the spot I was going to sleep on. Now that I was all nice and cozy I could my eyes starting to get heavy and my mind slowing down before slowly drifting to sleep.