The Anti-Brony Chronicles

*Click*

I pulled the trigger again.

*click*

The gun was jammed. I hit it and threw it against the ground. "Lousy, no-good, rotten piece of sh-UURRHAGH!"

I was slowly lifted into the air by my neck, gagging. Celestia picked me up, while her sister used her magic to jam my gun. I grabbed at my neck, trying to pry off whatever was holding me, when I realised it was Celestia that had me. I gagged and choked, kicking my legs in a futile attempt to break free from her grasp. Celestia brought me over and threw me against a wall, hard. I passed out upon impact. Between my loss of blood, the run over here, and the fight, I was too tired to move. Celestia sent for the Mane 6 to convert me into a brony using the only magic strong enough to beat my willpower. The Elements of Harmony.

The Mane 6 galloped in and saw the blood and cracks in the walls. "What in Equestria happened here?!" Twilight asked. Celestia motioned over to my body laying in a small pool of blood. "He attacked me, but I managed to stop him. I suggest healing him before he dies." Twilight nodded and walked over, being careful not to step in my blood, and healed my body enough for me to regain consciousness. I moaned and propped myself back up on my elbows, clenching my teeth in pain.Twilight saw how hurt I was, so she healed me a bit more so that I could at least stand. I stood up and held one arm, my clothes dyed an off-crimson colour. Twilight and her friends then donned the Elements, and my face went from one of pain, to one of fear.

They glowed and rose into the air. I took that chance to run as fast and as far away as possible. I grabbed my backpack and ran off through the door. The Elements shot out their signature rainbow, but unlike most other times, the rainbow flew after me. I needed to shake it. I decided to just run. I ran clear out of Canterlot and down a steep cliff. The Rainbow close on my tracks.

Twilight looked at Celestia. "Will he get hit?" Celestia just smiled. "Yes, Twilight. The rainbow will always hit it's target." I kept running. I dove through water, leaped through buildings and trees and through houses, but the rainbow would always follow. I finally noticed my only chance of escaping this rainbow. The local window shop. I ran to it and got in behind one of the mirrors. The rainbow struck the mirror and reflected back towards Twilight and her friends. I sighed in relief.

That's when I noticed something strange.The rainbow was coming back. I went white and ran to my old house, then slammed and locked the door and ran upstairs. The rainbow struck my house, rather than me. Went downstairs and saw the rainbow was nothing more than a technicolour puddle at the foot of my door. I scooped it up into a jar. Hell, you never know when you'll need a magical 'Elements Of Harmony' rainbow. Suddenly it shot back out of the jar and barreled back down towards me.

"NO FAIR! THAT WAS A FAKE OUT!!" I screamed.

The rainbow showered over me and I could feel it start working at making me a brony. I felt it changing my attire, my interests, my thoughts, my memories...I screamed in protest and did everything I could to break free of the rainbow, but it kept me glued to my spot. This was it, I thought to myself. That's the end of my story! Geez what a crap ending. Well don't worry. That wasn't the last of me.

The rainbow always hits it's target. Never said anything about it working. I started to force myself back into an Anti. I thought of terrible thoughts. Hatred for ponies. The rainbow's glow started to fade. "The ponies did this! They did this to me! They beat me senseless!" Finally, in a bright flash, I broke free of the rainbow. It shattered. I dropped to my knees and panted, exhausted. I crawled back into my house, closing and locking the door. Then I laid there. Silent. I fell asleep shortly afterward. I was finally safe. Finally.

Minutes later, I heard a pounding on my door. I stood up. "Who's there?"

"I think you know who." I groaned. "Twilight, just leave me alone!" I ran upstairs and grabbed my weapons. Twilight and her friends kicked in the doors. They just walked upstairs and saw me sitting in the middle of my kitchen, this time I had the pistol aimed at myself. "Stay back or I'll blow my brains out!"

Of course I wasn't actually going to pull the trigger. The gun was jammed anyways. I was just trying to fake them out. "We know the pistol is jammed." I slammed it on the ground. "Dammit!"

"Now. Let's try this again." Twilight said. "Wait! God-dammit Twilight. I was beaten senseless, then run ragged to try to stay away from you! Can't you just give me a minute to at least rest?!" Twilight shook her head. "You know I can't." I suddenly ran over and snatched the Element of Magic from her head, then put it on my own. "Oh look at me I'm Twilight! I won't give someone a goddamn chance to rest so that he actually is conscious when he's a brony!" Twilight face-hoofed. "Oh for the love of-"

Applejack stomped her hooves. "You're acting like a child, you stupid Anti!" I just threw the crown back at Twilight. "Okay FINE. Do it! Come on! Let's get this over with! I mean I'M JUST A STUPID ANTI!!" Fluttershy looked upset. "Oh now look! You hurt his feelings!" Rainbow Dash glared at her. "He IS just a stupid Anti! He doesn't have feelings!" Rarity chimed in. "Very mature, Rainbow. What next? He wants to go and beat up a girl?" Applejack shook her head. "That was a little harsh, Rainbow." Rainbow just flared her wings out. "Oh come on! Can't we just blast him already and be done with it?!"

Twilight screamed "QUIIIEEEEETT!!" Everypony was silent. "Look, let's just blast him, then we can go home and get some rest, okay?" They just all muttered in agreement, then turned to look at me. "Wait...where'd he go?"

I laughed as I ran from my house. I'll find somewhere else to live. For now? I just want to enjoy the fact that they were outsmarted by a 'stupid anti'. I grinned at the satisfying scream of frustration the ponies yelled as I ran into the darkness of a nearby forest.