The Anti-Brony Chronicles

"You want us to do what?"

These were the words of a certain changeling queen. That's right. Queen Chrysalis herself, in all the gross, black and green, hole-infested flesh.

"We want you to help us with a...problem."
"I tried to enslave your entire race, hynpotized your older brother, impersonated your favorite babysitter,and you want me and my army...to help you."
"We're willing to let bygones be bygones if you just help us. Please."
"You tried to kill me."
"You had it coming."
"Touche, Twilight Sparkle. In any case, I won't do it."
"But you didn't hear the whole story."
"Fine."
"Our problem is a certain Anti-Brony...He's been trying to do away with the Princess so he can have Earth back to himself and his kind."

Chrysalis flew into a rage, her eyes glowing like emeralds.

"WHAAT?!"
"Mm-hm."
"THAT'S MY JOB! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE RULER OF EARTH AND EQUESTRIA! NOT SOME HUMAN!"
"So you'll help us?"
"Deal. You help me get rid of this pest, and....and....I...I guess I'll owe you one."

Twilight smirked and laughed a little under her breath.

"Good."

Austin's HouseBarricaded Fortress Of Doom, Earth

I hooked up the chain of bullets to my FG42 machine gun I had mounted in one of the windows. I reloaded my pistol and my assault rifle. I mixed up some more smoke grenades and sleeping gas. I made sure to load my flare gun. I even prepared some rocket fireworks and some other traps, in case any unsuspecting ponies happened to wander in. But that was impossible anyway. The walls were barricaded with steel sheets, the windows barred, and the chimney was blocked off. I also managed to keep my emergency tunnel open this time.

I was unstoppable. My defences were strong. My weapons, stronger. I even dressed in some old hockey pads I had lying around. I was good to go. Now I just needed to-

"HEY AUSTIN! GUESS WHO?"

Okay, the chicken sandwich can wait. I approached the window and peered out at the Mane 6, who were standing outside my front door.

"What do you want, Twilight?"
"You know what."
"You can't get in. I'm bulletproof!"
"What do you have?"
"A sh*tload of weapons and ammo."
"Aw, what a pity."
"How so?"
"We have an army."
"Not really. I only see 6 of you."
"Oh, that's not true."

I stared at her with a look that said 'Are you trolling me, or just stupid?', but my expression faded when I heard something strange.

It sounded like a thousand hooves all clopping down the street at once. The noise was louder than thunder, and was getting closer. I ran to the roof of my house where I had set up a few more guns. I watched as, over the horizon, thousands of ponies came over the rise. They were...clones....or mimics...or just really good costumes...of the Mane 6. I stared at them in sheer shock and disbelief. One Mane 6 was bad enough. But hundreds?!

"It hardly seems fair." I mumbled to myself, but loaded the mounted gun. "For you."

Almost immediately, the ponies rushed the house. I opened fire at anything that moved and was not human. One by one the ponies dropped like flies, and I just kept firing, occasionally switching to a different turret to protect the corresponding side. The streets were littered with fallen ponies, but my gun was heating up fast, and they weren't stopping their onslaught. Suddenly, I looked up to see a few of the Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash copies were floating above my house, then dive bombed me.

I hardly had enough time to pull out my pistol and-

*BANG BANG!*

2 more ponies tumbled down from the skies and landed in my backyard. I kept firing at them, they were dropping in numbers fast, but my gun was heating up faster. Eventually, it sparked and started to smoke. I couldn't use it any further. I growled and swung the assault rifle I had strapped to my back around into my hands, and opened fire with that. But one puny assault rifle against hundreds of ponies wasn't enough. They managed to start climbing the walls, and a few more of the Rainbow and Fluttershy copies had landed and began advancing toward me. I fired at them, but they were quickly starting to overwhelm me.

I popped off a flare from my gun and set a few on fire, then quickly followed up with a few pistol rounds into the faces and chests of the others. I used the butt of my assault rifle to knock a few of the ponies climbing up back down, but they had breached my roof level. I ran downstairs and slammed the door behind me. I ran to my next mounted turret, set up on the second floor. I opened fire once again. The ponies on the ground began dropping again. I fired a few more flares into the crowd, followed by a few rocket fireworks. I was quickly running out of resources, and wasn't sure of how long I'd last.

The ponies had got in, but were quickly tripped up by my traps. I was out of ammo in the turret and was running out of time. I shot a few more, then fired with my newly reloaded assault rifle. But those magazines were quickly expended. I reloaded my last pistol mag and looked outside. They were gone. I had beaten them. AND I still had 15 pistol shots left! Unfortunately, my fireworks, flares, assault rifle ammo, the rest of my pistol mags, and my hockey pads were gone. I just sat in the corner of my downstairs loft, wiping my sweat covered face with a hand that reeked of gunpowder. I looked at the pistol in my other hand and set it down beside me. I had won. I had beaten the ponies. Maybe now I could have that sandwich I wanted. I walked into my kitchen and grabbed my sandwich and triumphantly took a victory bite.

Victory tastes pretty good as it turned out.

I sat there and finished my sandwich, then wandered back into the loft to find that the REAL Mane 6 were there waiting. Rarity's telekinetic grip was surrounding my pistol, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked more than ready to fight. I backed up and bumped right into Pinkie. Only, it wasn't even Pinkie...Her long flowing hair hung down to just a little under her knees, her tail just as straight as her mane. A look of pure hatred was in her eyes, a fire burning that I had never seen before. Hell, even Fluttershy looked angry. Twilight stood with the others with a satisfied smirk.

"How ironic, Austin. That you've hunted us and our kind for a long time, even to the point where you tried to beat Celestia in unarmed combat!!" She laughed to herself as she said the last part. "And now, the hunter becomes the hunted. So ironic. I mean, this can all be over...-"

Her smirk faded and she glared daggers at me.

"....-with nothing more than a single bullet."

I stared at her in mortal horror. Suddenly, Pinkie piped up with a grin.

"Or maybe a nice big butcher's knife?"

Applejack and Rainbow grinned.

"Or we could just pound you until you're nothing more than a quivering mass of flesh and bones!!"

Fluttershy smiled eerily at me.

"Or maybe I can just release one of my darlings against you..."

I stood there as the 6 (possibly insane) ponies advanced toward me. Now, I said this in an earlier chapter: "When you're in a position you can't get out of, your main thought is 'Oh crap'. Not me." Well, as it turned out, this time was an exception. My mind had left the building and I was left helpless as these crazy mares decended on me. I was as good as dead. Twilight just grinned and seemed to mouth the words 'Goodbye Austin'.

But suddenly, as a gift from heaven, 6 gunshots rang out. But they were more of a whistle rather than a bang...The ponies kinda froze there, then collapsed. I looked at them. They each had a large feathery dart sticking out of their flanks. I stared at them, my heart racing a mile a minute. I stared for a minute, then saw 6 other humans walk in. Each was wearing a grey hoodie and blue jeans. They each had their hoods up, bandanas covering the lower part of their faces, and sunglasses. Clearly, these guys were trying to hide their identity.

'Great.' I thought to myself. 'A gang is robbing me.'

"We're here to rescue you, comrade."

"Thank you a million, I thought-....Wait, WHAT?"