Alice's Anonymous Assistant

I slept on the floor of Ms. Alice's shop, it makes me miss my lantern and bedroll. The sun broke through the store windows like this floor broke my back.

However, Ms. Alice woke me up with grand request.

"I' ma need ya to work the counter fer a bit, I gotta inspect a barn bein' put up 'round the orchard."

"Sure, ugh, what time is it, you ponies have coffee right?"

"I got apple tea."

"Thank you for your hospitality, Ms. Alice"

I sat down at the counter with a small mug of hot apple tea. Wait a sec, did she just leave me in charge of the store? Oh, this is certainly profanity inducing. Luckily for me, most ponies are scared of me so working the counter shouldn't be too difficult. I shouldn't be happy about that. I got ready to run the counter for a few hours.

A good bit of time passed, If I had to guess I would say it's about twelve or so. I passed out from lack of sleep on the counter, after an unknown amount of time later I heard the golden bell of the counter being rung constantly. My head shot up with astounding speed.

Ringing the bell was a lime-colored mare with a yellow mane. She just stared at me and started ringing the golden bell again. The mare herself looked normal, the only distinguishable thing would be her oversized bonnet and a shit ton of freckles.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, wake up the big monkey monster, what do you need lady?" Man, I'm a dick. She put a jar of apple sauce from one of the shelves on the counter.

I just realized something really bad, what the fuck is the currency, I looked at the jar and noticed a sticker with the number two on it. I'm assuming that's the amount it costs.

"That'll be two something."

Damn, what's the currency called? What am I supposed to say, dollars? This will be embarrassing if I don't figure this out soon. The mare put two gold coins on the counter oblivious to my inner turmoil. I quickly handed her the jar of applesauce.

"I, uh, make sure to come back for great quality apple products, we are open till five!" I panicked.

The mare nodded and walked outside and closed the door with a horrific creak. Man, where do I put this money? I'll just shove it in one of the apple sacks under the counter. Once I slipped the two gold coins into the sack I heard the creaking of the shop door fill the room.

I looked over the counter, there was a huge stallion looking around the shop. The stallion himself was wearing an extremely small stetson which looked pretty funny compared to his body size. If this goes south though I'm going to end up with broken bones in every part of my body.

The brown stallion grabbed one of the applesauce jars, as he did so he accidentally hit a premade apple pie that was on display. He panicked and landed headfirst into the apple pie, he also crushed the display table. Oh jeez, I'm going to have to explain that to Alice.

"Oh man, that's gotta smart. You okay big fella?"

"Ugh."

I rounded the counter and went to help the large stallion of the ground. I grabbed the big guy's hoof and helped him up, I went into the kitchen to grab cleaning supplies to help clean the mess and help the poor pony out.

"Sorry for the trouble Mr. Anonymous, I'm Trouble Shoes."

"Don't worry about, but my name isn't Anonymous, It's Peter."

"Oh, sorry 'bout that, It's just the rumors said you were Alice's assistant but nopony had a name so the name Anonymous came 'round."

"Don't worry about it, now let's get you cleaned up and complete your purchase."

I handed him one of the rags that had been recently washed by Alice. While he was cleaning his face off I got to cleaning up the debris. I'll have to explain a good bit of things to Alice when she gets back. With the debris swept and picked up I walked behind the counter to finish the business with Trouble Shoes.

"Alright, Mr. Shoes that'll be two thingymabobbers."

"There called bits Mister."

"Thank you Mr. Shoes, that'll be two bits."

Trouble Shoes gave me a nod after dropping to gold coins on the counter. Once he made his way out the shop he promptly faceplanted, the poor guy must have some bad luck or something. I put the two gold coins into the sack beneath the counter. Hopefully, things will calm down for a bit.

I blinked, that's all it took for me to not pay attention to the door and I shit you not a unicorn walked in. He was muzzle deep in a rather large book, however, he gracefully maneuvered throughout the shop grabbing some apple cider from one of the higher shelves and stopping at the counter.

By grabbing the apple cider I mean he fucking levitated it next to him and placed it on the counter all without looking up from his book. The only way I knew he was a wizard was from his very stereotypical robe and wizard hat. I looked at the small number on the apple cider.

"Uh, well, that'll be...er...seven bits mister."

The wizard was a blue stallion with an unkempt white mane with a small pair of spectacles resting on his nose. Once he looked up from his book I could clearly see dark bags under his eye and stubble. Pony facial hair, how does that work? I can save that question for later.

His reaction was odd, after looking at me he levitated a small notebook out from his bag and then started jotting something down. While he was writing he levitated seven gold coins onto the counter. This pony was quite good at multitasking by the looks of it.

"T-thank you for the business, if you want any more high-quality apple products were open till five."

"Ah, thank you for informing me, Mr. Anonymous."

"Oh, uh, that isn't my name, I'm Peter."

"Oh? My apologies then Peter, I'm quite a busy pony so I must be on my way, good day to you." He adjusted his spectacles and walked out of the shop, cider now in hoof. He didn't have an accent either maybe he's not from Appleloosa.

After some time passing Ms. Alice eventually came back. I explained to her what had happened in the time she had been away. She gave me some bits as compensation for the work I did during my stay. I bid her farewell and walked out of the shop to find the sheriff.

"I wonder who the other two ponies I'm gonna meet are."

Probably machete-wielding murders.

Author's Note

I RETCONNED PETER'S LAST NAME

Thanks for reading.

I hope you have an amazing day.