Alice's Apple Arrangements

“Why are ya protectin’ bananas so much, is it cause you’re a monkey.”

"No, I'm just saying that bananas are superior to apples."

"Are you sure It's not 'cause you're a monkey."

"I'm like fifty percent sure."

The sheriff told his daughter to guide me to Alice's shop. I already knew where it was, call it a hunch but I think the store with a giant apple on its board might be an apple shop. However, he insisted it might help my reputation with the townsfolk to be seen conversing with a pony publicly.

"What's so good 'bout bananas?"

"You are but a naive child you know not the power of potassium, apples are powerless in comparison. Speaking of Apples what is miss Alice like?" I get distracted easily.

"Well, she's an old apple and she's purty kind too, you'll know what I mean when we see her."

"Wow, that's some pleasant foreshadowing."

We walked down the street with the occasional pony doing the whole scream for the sheriff bit and we eventually arrived Ms. Alice's store. Even from some distance away, I could smell apple pie, it was the kind of smell the would magically lift you off the ground and levitate you towards it.

"Hey that smells kinda nice, It seems like a pretty fine establishment too."

"Fancy word usin' banana lover, you sayin' it's good?" I just nodded my head at her question.

"Well, of course It's good, It's Alice's Apples. Lets hurry I wanna introduce you to Alice."

The filly was pushing my leg with an astounding amount of strength in an attempt to hurry me into the shop. Man, this little pony must be on pony steroids or something.

"Jesus Christ, are you some kind of child bodybuilder?"

"Nnnope, but we earth ponies sure are strong that's fer sure."

That's a huge understatement, what the hell man. Also what are Earth ponies? The book from Mchawi's hut never mentioned that.

The store had a large apple billboard hanging horizontally outside the building with the name Alice's Apples written in some crazy ass font. The building itself looked rather old as the title of the shop looked weathered and had split corners. The back of the shop had an open window with a stereotypical pie laid on the window sill and a small brick chimney puffing smoke.

We hurriedly made our way towards the rustic looking door. I opened the door and a resounding creak echoed throughout the comfortable looking shop.

"I need ta get that darn creakin' fixed, every time a pony walks in I feel a migraine comin' on," an aged voice rambled on from the direction of the counter.

However, there was no pony in sight. I walked up to the counter and as I made my way to the counter I observed the countless items lining the shelves. All of them were apple-related, for example, apple cider and apple cobbler not to mention apple sauce. All of the apple products seemed to have the logo of two-letter 'A's.

On the counter, there was a small golden bell with an apple insignia etched into the metal. Star had to jump four or five times before she realized she couldn't reach it. Wonder if she's just smaller than the average small pony. I couldn't resist the golden bells allure for any longer.

"Ooh fancy, I'ma touch it." a little ding followed my statement.

After the delightful ding of the small bell, I heard some shuffling. I looked over the counter to see an old and short pony with oversized glasses put small wooden stairs next to the counter chair so they could reach it. So now I know what Star meant. She didn't scream like most ponies, she squinted and adjusted her glasses.

"You're a bigin aren't 'cha?" Welp, it's better to be called big than be screamed at.

"I think so." Before I could finish speaking Star decided to cut into the conversation.

"Hey, Miss Alice this is Peter, he's some kind of weird monkey thing." y'know these ponies sure are getting somewhere with naming me.

Alice adjusted her thick-rimmed glasses after hearing Star's introduction.

"Well look at that, I've seen just 'bout everythin' now."

"Thank you Star for such a stellar introduction. Hello Alice, Star's dad sent me."

"Ol' silver sent ya did he, well this outta be good, what did he send ya for?" Silver? Must be the sheriff's name, I never asked his name did I? damn.

Why'd he send me here again? He just told me he trusted her not to freak out.

"Uh, that's a good question, Ms. Alice. I don't quite remember." I'm really good at making conversation.

"Daddy sent ya here ta get ponies ta trust ya, so why don'tcha help Miss Alice around the shop for a bit?"

"I guess that makes sense, thanks for the reminder Star. Miss Alice do you need any help around the shop?"

"One minute sonny let me get the list."

She shuffled down her small chair stairs and grabbed a large piece of paper from the far underside of the counter. She went on top of her chair where she adjusted her glasses, cleared her throat, and started reading the list aloud.

"The dishes need a washin', the roof needs a fixin', apples need a mushin', the pie needs a cookin', the board needs a hammerin', the stove needs a cleanin' and the floor needs a sweepin'."

Oh, oh no, nada, not happing, nope, no, never, never ever, no thanks, non.

"Okay, is that all, I can get that fixed in a jiffy." I'm a weak weak man.

Star looked she was about to burst with laughter if the puffed-up cheeks were anything to go by.

"Is it okay if Star helps me clean?"

"It'll do her some good, sure, why not," replied the Elderly pony.

Star's once joyful face had slowly degenerated into a frown. Now Star knows true pain. Anyways I got right to work, of course, I made sure a certain small blue pony with a knack for talking smack didn't try to leave. She and I worked for a few hours. Working at miss Alice's shop was definitely a good experience, I learned how to make a pie.

Then I realized I had didn't know where I was going to sleep, but hey at least I know how to make a good pie.

Author's Note

Thank ya kindly for readin'.

I would appreciate it if ya could report spotted errors ta me.

I hope you have a wonderful day. 🤠

Also, what's better 🍌 or 🍎 ?