Encounters of the skeletal kind
Author's Note
Co author rezas writes for paps
Encounters of the skeletal kind
“SANS. I KNOW THIS IS RICH COMING FROM ME, BUT WILL YOU STOP WITH YOUR INSUFFERABLE PUNS!” A loud voice rang out through a large city atop a snowy moutain, echoing through its streets.(A/N:We couldn’t find papyrus font so just caps DEAL WITH IT)
“oh come on bro, im just having a little… pun!” A more laid back and lower voice said. The louders voice filled the air as he screamed in indignation. His screams were almost loud enough to drown out the giggling of his companion. Unbeknownst to the two voices they had been heard by a group of six pastel colored ponies, who came running towards the source fearing there might be someone in danger.
The leader of the group, a purple with a dark purple mare with a mane that had single magenta stripe in it, as well as a unicorn horn, burst in upon the scene of a short skeleton wearing a light blue jacket,a white undershirt, black shorts, and pink slippers being berated by a much taller skeleton wearing shiny white armour with a strange emblem on the left hand side, a long red scarf around his neck that he wore more like a cape then a scarf, as well as a pair of matching boots and gloves, and blue briefs.
“Hey you there what's going on here!” She demanded readying herself for a fight.
“oh look paps its another pony,” The shorter skeleton said looking at the purple mare with his wide smile.
“WHAT? WHERE?!” The now named ‘Paps’ exclaimed, turning to look ahead. “IS THAT THE PONY?!”
“no paps that's a rock,” the shorter skeleton said looking past the purple mare to a large rock behind her.
“DRAT.”
“but what's that infront of the rock?” Sans said looking at Paps.
“*GASP*. SANS… IS THAT THE PONY?!” Papyrus said, looking down at Sans.
“ yes,” Sans replied looking amused by the whole situation. The two skeletons proceeded to look at each other, then the mare, then each other, and on and on until suddenly the two skeletons were rapidly spinning.
“ENOUGH!” the mare suddenly shouted freezing them both in magic.
“hey that's not very ice of you,” Sans said now looking annoyed.
“SANS! WHY ARE WE FLOATING?!” Papyrus exclaimed, arms and legs moving around in the air. Surprisingly, he actually seemed to be moving against the magic a bit, as if he was actually flying.
“i think the pony is magic paps,” Sans said taking note of the glowing horn.
“Yes well I am a unicorn, but that’s besides the point who are you and what are you doing here?!”
“ i am sans and this is papyrus, and we are floating in magic,” Sans said with a grin.
“COULD YOU PLEASE LET US DOWN NOW?” Papyrus kindly asked, now upsidedown in his magical field.
“I will once I get a real answer, not whatever he gave me,” She said pointing accusingly at sans as her friends joined her.
“ what? you asked what we were doing and i told you!” Despite the smile not changing a bit, the equines felt like it suddenly gained a shit-eating quality.
“I THINK SHE MEANT WHAT WE’RE DOING IN THE CITY, SANS!”
“but that is what we’re doing in the city,” Sans said feigning confusion.
“You know what she meant ya varmit,” A blonde maned ,cowgirl hat wearing, orange pony said.
“HEY! MY BROTHER IS NOT A ‘VARMIT’! HE’S A SKELETON!”
“ you tell em bro” Sans said nodding encouragingly.
“Okay buck this, we need answers and we need them now,” A rainbow haired mare said flying into sans face.
“i would never help someone cheat a pregnancy test.” Sans said. The ponies felt the shit eating quality of the smile grow more and more as time went on.
“Why you son of a-” The skittles enthusiast began.
“LANGUAGE!” The taller skeleton exclaimed in admonishment. What a foul mouthed pony!
“I am speaking ponish,” The mare snorted.
“ you know sarcasam isn't funny, its rude,” Sans said getting glares from everyone excpet paps.
“WELL, IF WE’RE DONE HERE, DIDN’T WE HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE SANS?” Papyrus said, looking at his brother.
“ oh yeah, well this has been fun, but we gotta get going, it's been ice meeting you though,” Sans said looking at his brother with a giggle.
“SANS YOU USED THAT ONE ALREADY!” The taller said, stomping in the air.
“sorry bro but its snow hard to make new puns,” sans said grining wider.
“ITS ALRIGHT BRO-WAIT A MINUTE!” Papyrus said, glaring at the shorter skeleton. “THAT WAS ANOTHER PUN, WASN’T IT?!”
“could’ve been!” sans said as they suddenly disappeared. There was no flash, no sign of magical discharge. The two were there, then not. Not even a certain Chaos Spirit could do that!
“What the bu-” The rainbow mare began.
“Language...” a pink maned yellow pegasus scolded timidly.
Somewhere outside the city.
“so bro, where to next?” Sans asked looking up at his brother.
“Well, Now That We Are Done Trolling The Main Heros Of The Show, We Should Go Clean Up Some Magical Artifacts, So They Aren’t A Problem Later!” Papyrus said. He was trying to be quiet so hard… but The Great Papyrus does not have an inside voice.
“ gotcha, i didn't watch a lot of the show so you're gonna have to take the lead on this one ma dude,” Sans said with a nod.
“...THAT SOUNDED SO WEIRD COMING FROM YOU!” Papyrus exclaimed, eyeballs comically appearing in his sockets and looking different directions. “GAGH, BLASTED MAGICALLY APPEARING EYEBALLS!”
“yah its a real eye sore,” Sans grinned.
“SANS! WE’RE NOT IN FRONT OF THE PONIES YOU DON’T NEED TO MAKE HORRENDOUS PUNS!”
“oh paps, i don't do it troll just ponies, i share my trolling with everyone! including you!” Sans said laughing a bit.
“SANS!” Papyrus exclaimed, stomping his foot in the snow. “I KNOW SHARING IS CARING BUT I WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE SOME TROLLING!”
“ it my solemn duty as the royal judge to make sure things are fair,” Sans said pretending to be serious.
“BUT WE AREN’T EMPLOYED BY ROYALTY AT THE MOMENT!”
“thats no excuse for laziness papyrus,” Sans said.
“...I’M SO PROUD!” Papyrus exclaimed, scooping Sans up in a firm but gentle hug. “MY BROTHER HAS FINALLY LEARNED THE BENEFITS OF HARD WORK!”
“ yeah im working myself down to the bone!” Sans said his grin getting a troll face esc aura to it.
Papyrus’ screams of indignation could be heard across the universe.
The two skeletons brothers watched from atop the train they took from the crystal empire, a cloaked pony dashes off into a city called ‘Vanhoover’. “I SOMEHOW FORGOT. THIS COUNTRY IS A PUN.” Papyrus deadpanned, glaring at the sign.
“yea it's pretty punny,” Sans grinned, “but at least we know we’re on the right track,”
“YES, AT LEAST WE KN-WAIT A SECOND. SANS! WILL YOU STOP YOUR INSUFFERABLE PUNS, WE NEED TO FOLLOW THE SMALL EQUINE!” Papyrus exclaimed, stomping his foot on the cement.
“oh come on paps, it’s all in good pun!” Sans said closing one eye with a grin. Again, people all across the universe heard the screams of the exasperated skeleton.
Sans, however, had suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind a tree that the cloaked pony was passing by. Papyrus athletically leaped on top of a building, following the mare with great feats of acrobatics and parkour.
They followed the pony to a shady looking shop, that had the word “ANTIQUES” above the door frame. “SANS! THE PONIES ARE AS BAD AT NAMES AS ASGORE!”
“well antique we may have bigger problems right now pap,” Sans said walking inside the store silently. Papyrus rolled into the store behind his brother like they were infiltrating an enemy base in a spy movie.
Sans watched the teal pony throw a bag of gold coins on the table and take a silver amulet with a shape like a winged unicorn from the shopkeeper. Before she could put it on Sans outstretched his hand and made a pulling motion towards the pony his left eye glowing with blue color and a blue flame coming from it. A large purple heart was suddenly pulled out from inside the pony before it was changed to a dark blue color and dropped to the floor. This resulted in the pony falling to the floor and dropping the amulet.
Papyrus literally leaped into action, leaping across from the entryway and scooping the amulet up as he rolled to his feet. “BROTHER! I GOT IT!” He exclaimed, holding the Amulet up high in the air.
“got to amulet bro that was pretty cool,” Sans grinned.
“SANS! THAT ONE BARELY WORKED!” Papyrus exclaimed, eyeballs appearing and going in two different directions in his sockets.
“Hey you two, err whatever you are! The great and powerful Trixie does not take lightly to being stolen from, or your ridiculous puns!” the pony said throwing back her hood revealing herself to be a light blue unicorn with purple that glared at them with a piercing gaze.
“sorry lady but you would get up to a ton of trouble, a skele-ton!” Sans said a bit wider.
“TRIXIE, YOU’RE GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH!” Papyrus exclaimed, pocketing the amulet in his Inventory. “SEEKING VENGEANCE… THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO GO. BUT, FEAR NOT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN HELP YOU!” Papyrus exclaimed, skeletal face smiling wide.
“The great and powerful trixie does not require help from a couple of bone heads like you!” Trixie said scoffing as she ran past the two brothers and out of the store.
“SANS! WE MUST STOP HER, BEFORE SHE FINDS SOMETHING WORSE!”
“im on board bro but it might be a bit trixie to get her to stop,” Sans said shaking his head.
Papyrus huffed. “I KNOW BROTHER, BUT WE HAVE TO TRY! I KNOW, I’LL CHALLENGE HER! THEN HER PRIDE WILL MAKE HER LISTEN TO ME!” Papyrus exclaimed, before picking up his brother and sprinting out the door. Now, one would think that Trixie having four legs and Pap having two, she’d be at the advantage. One would be completely fucking wrong.
“ looks like your bo-” Sans began.
“SANS! NO PUNS, I NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON NOT RUNNING INTO ANYTHING!” Papyrus exclaimed, notifying the mare they were chasing, that the skeletons were rapidly gaining on her.
“sure thing bro,” Sans said with a smile as he kinda just laid snugly under his brother’s right arm. Papyrus mentally summoned a set of bones, blocking the ponies way.
“HALT!” He ordered.
“ you have violated the law, pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, all your stolen goods are now forfeit,” Sans said with a wide smile.
“...THAT ONE WAS An INSIDE JOKE?! HOW ARE THE PONIES EVEN SUPPOSED TO GET IT?!” Papyrus said, narrowing his sockets at his brother as he put him down.
“it was for the readers at home!” Sans said winking at you. You know who you are.
“Um okay, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder,” Trixie said looking very confused.
Attention back on Trixie now that she spoke, Papyrus turned back to the mare. “YOU LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO’S BEEN UNJUSTLY WRONGED BEFORE. DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?” Papyrus gently, somehow, asked.
“Well I… I guess, I haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to anyone about what happened,” Trixie said tearing up a bit. Papyrus summoned a surprisingly comfortable looking bone couch for Trixie, himself now sitting in a surprisingly comfy looking bone recliner. Sans was already asleep standing up.
And thus the skeletons counselors session began. Trixie told him about how she used to be a stage magician, going from town to town to get the money she needed to live. And how, when she got to Ponyville, things went bad. At first, she’d thought the group of people heckling her were in on the little charade and had challenged them. She was even going to give them a few of the bits. But, as each one came up, she’d realized they didn’t seem to get that she was a stage magician and boasting was part of her job. And then, after two brats lured a dangerous creature into town and crushed her cart, leaving her homeless. After that, she tried to keep her act up in towns she went to after that to get the money back to get a new cart. However… she was chased out of every town, because bad news had spread about her, ruining her career.
She’d had to resort to odd jobs to stay alive, getting enough money to get her revenge. “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT!” Papyrus exclaimed, sockets full of sympathy for the mare. “AND, FIRST THINGS FIRST, I THINK THOSE MARES OWE YOU AN APOLOGY… AND A HOUSE.” Papyrus said, looking to the side at the last bit.
Sans had woken up halfway through and had been very quiet, his eyes pitch black, the normal small dots gone.
“And they don’t apologize, well then their gonna have a bad time,” Sans said his usual smile a stoic frown.
“TRIXIE, LET’S GO TO PONYVILLE AND GET YOU THAT APOLOGY!” Papyrus exclaimed. He scooped the two up, to Trixies yTrixie'selp of surprise, and Papyrus was off to the races!
They passed through different landscapes, and Papyrus even jumped over a mountain! Take that Superman! Finally, after going across a large plain with a dangerous feeling forest next to it, they arrived at their destination. A small medieval like the town, but before they could enter it a rainbow color blur sped straight at Sans.
Papyrus set the two down quickly before jerking his arm upwards. They heard a yelp as the rainbow maned pegasus from a while ago suddenly found her gravity inverted and she was thrust into the sky. “I KNOW IT’S GREAT TO SEE ME, BUT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM NOT ACCEPTING HUGS FROM STRANGERS RIGHT NOW!”
The Rainbow haired mare fell down on her rump with an oof.
“oh it’s you again,” Sans said without a hint of amusement in his voice.
“TRIXIE, IS THIS ONE OF THEM? I KNOW YOU SAID ONE HAD RAINBOW MANE, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW COMMON THAT IS, AND I DON’T WANT TO ADMONISH THE WRONG PERSON!” Papyrus said, looking from Trixie to Rainbow.
“Y-yes that's… she is one of the mares that ruined my life,that's Rainbow Dash” The great and emotionally overwhelmed Trixie said glaring at Rainbow.
“It's your own fault for bragging so much!” Rainbow Dash snapped.
“ Looks Whos Talking,” Sans said looking like he was getting fed up with this ponies shit.
“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BLAME THE VICTIM! TRIXIE HERE WAS DOING HER CAREER. SHE IS A STAGE PERFORMER!” Papyrus exclaimed to the rainbow maned mares shock.
“Well I-I well maybe she should do something else,” Rainbow said not wanting to admit she was wrong.
“ Like doing a bunch of side jobs she hates just to make a living,” Sans said coldly.
“Exactly, “ Rainbow said before realizing her mistake.
“YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS OWE HER AN APOLOGY AND A HOUSE,” Papyrus exclaimed, crossing his arms. For some reason, the disappointed look he gave Rainbow really hurt her.
Rainbow dashed of and returned quickly with the rest of her group.
“I don’t know who you are, but you have no right to demand anything from us, Trixie was a liar and a fraud she got she had coming to her,” The purple mare of whom they had been told was named Twilight said.
“so its gonna be like that…. Paps take Trixie and get her something nice to eat or something, im gonna have a little chat with our “ ”,” Sans said darkly.
“IN A MOMENT SANS,” Papyrus said, turning to Rainbow. “SO, LIARS DESERVE TO BE FORCIBLY KNOCKED OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME? DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY?” Papyrus asked the rainbow maned pony Rainbow nodded, before furiously shaking her head.
“paps im gonna lose it with these people,” Sans said gritting his teeth.
“IT’S ALRIGHT SANS! WE JUST NEED TO GIVE THE MARE SOME KARMIC COMEUPPANCE!” Papyrus said, turning to the conveniently in view cloud house. He raised an arm, opened his palm… and closed it. A set of giant bones sprung from the ground, erasing the house from existence.
“MY HOUSE!” Rainbow cried out in anguish.
“what you said, liars should be kicked out of house and board?” Sans said feigning confusion.
“OH, WE ALMOST FORGOT! SHE ALSO SAID THEY SHOULD BE JOBLESS! LET’S GO FIND THE WEATHER PEOPLE SANS!” Papyrus exclaimed, turning and marching into the town with Trixie following, the unicorn giggling a bit at her tormentors' karmic retribution.
“ sure thing bro” Sans said whistling megalovania as they headed towards the large cloud complex in the sky, via paps. Paps how are you walking on air. The laws of physics paps. Papyrus whyyyy.
Sans was now humming “walking on sunshine” as paps walked up to the complex from the ground bewildering everyone who could see it, except sans. Papyrus walked into the complex, holding Trixie so she wouldn’t fall through the cloud he could apparently walk on, going into the building and up to the front desk. A young green-furred mare with short yellow hair looked at the two skeletons in shock and fear.
“Excuse Me Miss,” Papyrus said as softly as he could manage. “We Would Like To File A Complaint About One Of Your Staff.”
“her name is rainbow dash, and she harassed the two of us a bit, and my friend here to the point of her losing means of making a living, which im sure your employers would find unacceptable behavior,” Sans said his white dots returning, but his disgruntled frown remaining.
“Oh dear, that is serious, ill file your complaint at once, thank you for your time!” The mare said smiling politely as she wrote something down on a piece of paper.
“PLEASE LET US KNOW THE RESULT LATER, THE MARE HERE WAS QUITE TRAUMATIZED BY THE EVENT,” Papyrus said. He didn’t wait for a promise of getting said result, simply turning and carrying the Great and Lightweight Trixie with him as he and Sans walked out of the cloud building and fluttered to the ground below.
“ welp lets go assert ourselves,” Sans said once they reached the ground.
“WE SHOULD MAKE A LOG CABIN!” Papyrus said excitedly. “TRIXIE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE WITH US UNTIL YOU GET BACK ON YOUR HOOVES?” Papyrus asked the showmare.
“I'd love, to the great and powerful Trixie is ever so grateful for your assistance great Papyrus,” Trixie said, bringing stars to Papyrus’ eye sockets, holding her head high as Sans pulled a log cabin out of his pocket and place it down. Of course, they waited till they were at the edge of town to do so, they didn’t want the house to get in anyone's way after all! Not so surprisingly, the roof of the log cabin already had snow.
The three friends went inside, the two skeletons content in the fact that the rest of the perpetrators would soon come to them...
