The CMC's Old Lives: Rebuilding What Was Broken

Apple Bloom awoke surrounded by blackness. There was the familiar sound of the door opening, and Apple Bloom felt a sickening sense of dread. She tried to squirm away from the sound or to see what had made it, but her legs were held still. Something was around her ankles holding her in place, the colt metal holding her tight, and there was something over her eyes. She heard hoofsteps walking towards her, hoofsteps she recognized, and she suddenly knew where she was. She felt a hoof touch her shoulder, and the dream melted away as she screamed out in horror.

“Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom, what is it? Are you ok?” Applejack yelled before bursting through the door to Apple Bloom’s room. The young filly was thrashing in her bed, screaming as loud as her voice would let her, and Applejack ran to her side. The moment her hooves touch Apple Bloom’s shoulder, the filly’s eyes shot open, and she leapt away to the corner of her bed. Her eyes slowly came into focus, and as she recognized the form of her sister, her body relaxed as she understood that it had been a dream. Tears were streaming down the filly’s cheeks as Applejack moved across the bed to hold her sister.

Apple Bloom buried her face in Applejack’s chest, and the mare held her tight as she softly cried. The fear refusing to leave her even as Applejack gently stroked her hair, the way she had when they were little. Applejack just held her sister close, letting her get it out of her system, and stared into the dark of the back of the room, feeling more helpless than she had since she’d first realized that her sister was missing.

It felt so strange being in the clubhouse again, Sweetie Belle thought. The soft brown of the walls, the pink shades, and even the hearts decorating the doorway, it almost felt alien to her. The sun was up and its rays shooed away the shadows that had been there when she had first arrived. Her hoofsteps echoed through the empty place as she paced nervously, waiting.

Sweetie had dragged a couple of the boxes out into the middle of the room to act as chairs. It came as a huge relief to hear that Twilight wanted to use the clubroom rather than the castle. Sweetie shuddered just thinking of the dark hallways, hallways that reminded her of the long hallway in that place. Her mind slipping back to that dark corridor and the door to the room she’d been kept in, she felt a cold shiver pass through her body.

“Hello, Sweetie Belle!” Twilight’s broke through the quiet and the startled filly let out a loud squeak, leaping to the back of the room. Twilight’s eyes followed Sweetie’s movements, and there was a brief look of concern before the smile came back to her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you had heard me knock.”

“No, it’s alright. I was just...remembering something.” The filly replied, trying to match Twilight’s outwards enthusiasm with a friendly grin, but failing. Sweetie could tell from the way that Twilight was looking at her that the mare was seeing right through her, but she didn’t know how else to respond. Twilight sat herself down on of the boxes. The mare levitated her saddlebags on to the floor beside her, pulling out an empty book and a quill, gesturing for Sweetie to take a seat across from her.

“This ‘something’ that you were remembering, is it anything that you want to talk about?” Sweetie stood there for a few moments, not wanting to answer, but knowing she should. Twilight sat watching her, a picture of patience.

“No.” Sweetie quietly mumbled, before turning to sit on the box in front of the alicorn. “I’m sorry.” She said more loudly. Then, seeing the mare’s confusion, clarified, “About the boxes. We don’t have any chairs or couches or anything out here.”

“That’s fine, Sweetie. As long as you are comfortable, then its ok.” The mare just smiled pleasantly, and unlike so many other similar expressions that Sweetie had seen in the last week, she could tell that it wasn’t strained or forced.

“So, how are we supposed to do this?” The filly asked. “I’ve read about this kind of thing in books and stuff, but I never really thought I’d be, you know, doing it myself. I’m not sure I really want to do this anyway. I don’t even want to think about what happened, I certainly don’t want to talk about it.” Twilight put her quill down.

“I know that this won’t come easy for you.” The mare said, her voice gentle. “What you three went through was...unimaginable. So, I just want you to know that we will be doing this at your pace, when you feel ready for it. You still need to get in the habit of coming to these discussions. However, if all you want to do for the first few sessions is talk about something else, that’s fine too.”

“What else would I talk about?” Sweetie asked.

“Anything really. What it's been like staying with Rarity for the last week maybe?” Sweetie Belle smiled weakly.

“That’s been pretty cool. This is actually the longest that my parents, Rarity, and I have all been together since Rarity first bought the boutique.” She wasn’t lying, it had been fun to have the family together, hanging out and eating dinner together again. Rarity was being so uncharacteristically gentle with her though, and the way her parents looked at her like something that was seconds away from breaking…. Her smile vanished.

“They’ve been walking on eggshells around you, huh?” Twilight said, with a sad smile. Sweetie looked up in surprise, but nodded. Twilight sighed, “I know it’s frustrating, and I told them to try and avoid doing that. I can talk to Rarity about it for you if you want.”

“No. That’s ok. I can do it.”

“Ok. As long as that’s what you want.” There was a long silence as Twilight patiently waited for Sweetie Belle, the filly realizing and appreciating that Twilight was letting her decide when to continue.

“I….” She quietly started, Twilight leaning forward to hear better. “I’ll be honest Twilight, I don’t want to do this. I understand it’s important, I know I need to talk about what happened, but all I want to do is forget. The whole time I was...there, all I wanted to do was to go home and forget. I’m home now, and….” She wiped some dampness away from her eyes, “Nopony’s letting me. They keep giving me these looks when they think I’m not paying attention, treating me like I’m something broken that they need to avoid breaking even more. I don’t want to remember, but everywhere I go, everypony reminds me about it. It's making me sick.” The filly looked down at the floorboards, unwilling to meet the mare’s eyes.

“Sweetie Belle, do you mind if I get a little blunt with you?” The mare asked. Sweetie didn’t look up, but she nodded her acceptance. “Sweetie, I’m sorry, but you never will forget. Trauma like what you three experienced never fully disappears, and trying to bury it will only make it worse. What you need to do is accept that it happened, but also to understand that it doesn’t have to define you or change who you are. You aren’t broken, you aren’t ruined. You are Sweetie Belle.”

The setting sun threw long shadows across the orchard, but there was still enough heat in the day that Scootaloo found herself sweating as she walked home from her meeting with Twilight. A shadow shot across the ground, and Scootaloo didn’t even need to look up to see who it was. Somewhere in the sky above, a well meaning rainbow colored mare was watching her, making sure she was safe. If anything like this had happened even just a few weeks before, Scootaloo would have felt intruded on or even like her maturity was being insulted. After everything that had happened to her though, it felt good to know that somepony she trusted was watching her. So, Scootaloo just kept walking, letting Rainbow Dash continue to believe that the filly hadn’t noticed her aerial guardian.

The orchard gave way to the edge of town. There were a few ponies scattered around, but to Scooloo’s great relief, none of them paid much attention to her. She slowly drifted her way through the town, not really heading home. The shadow from overhead followed her, so she took her time, feeling perfectly safe. After a few minutes of walking, she saw what she was looking for, a young grey colt.

“Hey!” Scootaloo’s eyes lit up and her pace quickened. Rumble heard her call out, and he grinned and ran to meet her.

“Scootaloo! You back from talking with Twilight already?” He cheerfully asked.

“Yup! We didn’t talk for very long. So, want to find someplace to be alone?” She winked at him. Rumble’s wings fluttered excitedly.

“Are...are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to do anything that might make you….” Scootaloo interrupted him with a kiss. When she pulled away, Scootaloo’s face was almost as red as Rumble’s had gotten.

“I haven’t been able to be alone with my coltfriend in over two weeks. My aunts are gone, and Rainbow will understand. This is going to be our first chance in forever to just have fun together. Come on, lets go to the orchard.” She gripped his hoof and the two of them walked back the way Scootaloo had just come. Scootaloo made a point to go off the path so that they wouldn’t run into Twilight as the mare was walking home, and as they reached the orchard’s edge, Scootaloo noticed as Rainbow stopped following her, giving her the privacy she wanted. She was likely going to get yelled at tonight for not heading right home, but Scootaloo knew that Rainbow wouldn’t keep watching her for this part. Once they were far enough out of sight for Scootaloo’s comfort, she swung Rumble in front of her, and planted her lips over his.

The sun was down as Twilight walked Apple Bloom home. The filly kept close to the older alicorn as they walked, though neither said anything for the short trip. When they finally reached the front door, Twilight said goodbye to the filly.

“Remember, if you need to talk about anything, my door is always open. If not, then I’ll see you in three days.”

“I know, Twilight. Goodnight.” She turned back towards her home, and stepped in before Twilight had a chance to turn to leave. The screen door creaked loudly as it shut. Applejack looked up with a grin, setting the pan she was holding down.

“Hey there, Sugarcube! Dinner’s almost ready if you are hungry.”

“Thanks, Applejack.” Apple Bloom said with a yawn. She walked over to her sister and hugged her. Applejack rustled the filly’s hair, then turned back to cook. Apple Bloom moved to take a seat, but something was bothering her. “Hey Applejack, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Applejack looked over her shoulder to see the filly with her head buried in her forelegs. Applejack set the pan aside, the food could wait, and walked over to sit next to her sister.

“Apple Bloom, please don’t apologize for that. It wasn’t your fault.” She said. ‘It was mine for not protecting you.’ Was all she could think. She hugged her sister again, “If there is ever anything I can do to make you feel safe again, please, just ask me. Ok?”

“Ok.” Apple Bloom responded weakly.

Dinner at Rarity’s went about as well as it normally did. Sweetie’s parents loudly talked about their day, jostling Rarity as they asked her questions, and Rarity answered politely through barely restrained frustration. It always amazing Sweetie Belle that they were all related, and she giggled to herself as she levitated more food onto her plate.

“Careful Sweetie Belle!” Her mother called over the table to her, “Eat much more and you sister will probably throw you on one of her diets.” She joked, but Sweetie saw the look in her eye. The look they kept giving her, and knew that her mother was going out of her way to keep Sweetie’s mind on the meal.

“Are you calling me fat?” Sweetie replied with a smile, though she got an uncomfortable feeling in the back of her throat that she wouldn’t go away, and suddenly her appetite was gone.

“Not at all. I’m saying my beloved older daughter has impossible standards.”

“Mother!”

Scootaloo and Rumble were lost in their passion, even as the sun started to set. Rainbow was supposed to be watching Scootaloo and the house for her aunts tonight, and Scootaloo knew she’d be mad if Scootaloo stayed out too late, especially after what had happened so recently. She needed this though. Not because it would feel good, not even because she missed her coltfriend, though both were obviously true. She needed this for another reason.

Their tongues danced against each other, their hooves feeling up the other’s body. Scootaloo could feel Rumble’s cock begin to swell against her belly, and suddenly she pulled away from the kiss, a look of alarm on her face.

“Something wrong?” Rumble asked, his eyes somewhat glazed with lust, but with genuine concern showing through. Scootaloo gave him a dirty grin as a response, then dove back in for the kiss. The hammering of her heart grew stronger as she felt her coltfriend harden. Scootaloo reached a shaking hoof down to try and feel her coltfriend’s cock, but she began to feel sick, and pulled her hoof back away. Rumble didn’t see this and just nibbled at her ear. He sat up and gripped both of Scootaloo’s legs in his hooves.

“You ready?” He asked. Scootaloo gave him another grin that then melted as she looked down and saw a cock about to penetrate her again. A sudden panic jolted through her. Instinctively, her hoof kicked out and hit Rumble in the stomach as she recoiled away. She instantly realized what she’d done and leaned forward towards him.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” She asked, her voice quivering.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Rumble asked, his face red. “What was that for?” He asked, more than a little confused. Scootaloo didn’t answer, she just pulled him into a hug, whispering apologies into his ear. He held her back. The two stayed like that for a few moments, and by the time they let go, the passion was gone. Rumble kissed Scootaloo’s cheek, then walked her back to town.

Applejack lay on her bed, her mind racing. It had been almost a week, but she still didn’t like falling asleep. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d wake up to find her sister’s bed empty like it had been for those sickening six days when she was gone. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a small band of light from the hall stretching into her room as the door was opened.

“Applejack?” Apple Bloom called out weakly. “Are you awake?”

“I am. You ok, Sugarcube?” She asked. Apple Bloom walked up, her eyes watery, and Applejack could see how scared the filly was.

“Can I please sleep with you tonight?” The filly asked. Applejack lifted the covers for Apple Bloom to crawl in, and once the filly was nestled next to her, she wrapped a hoof around Apple Bloom, and held her close for a few minutes before she heard the filly’s breathing become more even as she fell asleep. Applejack rested her own eyes, nearly asleep herself when she heard Apple Bloom begin to mutter fearfully in her sleep. Tears welled up in Applejack’s eyes as she held her sister.

“Its ok. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen to you ever again.”

The night stretched on, but sleep would not come for Sweetie. She could hear Rarity talking to herself in her sleep and she giggled a bit, but otherwise she just lay there. As the night hours stretched into early morning, her eyes finally started to drift closed.

You are such a lucky girl.

Her eyes snapped back open and any hope of sleeping that night disappeared. So she just lay there, hooves folded over her stomach as she waited for the sun to rise.