The CMC's Old Lives: Rebuilding What Was Broken

The light of sunrise creeped through Sweetie Belle’s window at last. She rubbed her eyes, thoroughly exhausted, but the pit in her stomach had lasted all night. With a soft thud, she plopped her hooves down on the floor and made her way downstairs for breakfast. When she rounded the corner into the kitchen, Rarity looked up from the table and opened her mouth to speak. Then she saw how bloodshot Sweetie’s eyes were, and her expression twisted. Sweetie saw the full process; first shock, then sadness, and finally forced happiness. Rarity gave her biggest grin and gestured for Sweetie to sit next to her.

“Good morning! Mother and Father are out getting some groceries. Want me to make you a quick breakfast?” Rarity said. Sweetie shook her head.

“Nah, I just want a bowl of oats. Something I ate yesterday didn’t agree with me.” Sweetie replied, wincing a bit at a pain in her abdomen. She levitated the bowl down from the counter. Her horn ached as she did, and the bowl shook as it was slowly levitated down. Sweetie didn’t even need to be looking at Rarity, she could feel the look of concern the fashionista was probably wearing.

“Your horn still giving you trouble?”

“A little. It’s getting better though.” Sweetie said. She traced a hoof across her horn. There was still a slight indent there. The ring that had been used to suppress her magic had been embedded into the horn itself, and the injury was nowhere near healed yet. She’d been told the indent would never go away. Yet another thing she’d carry with her now.

“Sweetie?” Rarity’s concerned voice snapped Sweetie Belle back to what she was doing. Sweetie finished getting her breakfast ready, and hurried over to the table next to Rarity. As she began to eat, Rarity’s attention turned to a book she must have been reading before Sweetie Belle arrived. Feeling a little bad about interrupting her sister again, Sweetie Belle gently spoke up.

“Rarity?” The mare looked up in response. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Of course, Darling.” Rarity put her book down again so she could meet Sweetie Belle’s gaze. Sweetie was nervous for reasons she couldn’t really explain to Rarity.

“Could you walk with me to Sweet Apple Acres today? I have… I have something that I need to talk to Apple Bloom about.”

“Heya, Squirt!” Rainbow zipped down from the sky. Scootaloo, who had just been in her aunt’s backyard enjoying the morning sun, looked up in glee.

“Rainbow Dash! You’re still in town? I thought you had Wonderbolts practice today.” Scootaloo got up to open the door for Rainbow Dash, the two of them walking towards her aunts’ kitchen.

“Oh, I do. It’s not until later though. Most of the team is training potential recruits at the academy this morning. The proper practice isn’t until this evening.” Rainbow replied. Scootaloo knew full well that normally Rainbow would be taking part in the recruit training, but must have asked for the time off so the mare could check up on her. She feigned ignorance.

“Well, it’s cool you have the morning off then.” Scootaloo walked over to the cupboard and grabbed some cereal for the both of them. Rainbow Dash took a seat at the table, letting Scootaloo pour her a bowl before the filly sat down across from her.

“Yeah, it really is. I don’t get a lot of chances to relax before practice like this. I thought I’d use this time to stop by and see how you were doing.” The mare wasted no more time, the second she finished her sentence, she was inhaling the food. Scootaloo poured herself a bowl and tried to think of a good reply.

“Oh, well I appreciate that. Having you around so much since… since I got back has been really comforting.” She said. Rainbow looked up at her, somehow managing to look serious despite there being some oats stuck to her cheek.

“I’m really happy to hear that. If you ever need me around for anything, ask. I’m here for you, whatever you need.” She said. Scootaloo smiled weakly, poking at her bowl a bit. She opened her mouth to speak, but just as quickly closed it again. Rainbow noticed. “Is there something you want to ask?”

“Y...Yeah I guess. It isn’t about...what happened, or well, I guess it kind of is.” Scootaloo’s face was starting to turn a deep crimson. Rainbow noticed.

“This about Rumble?” She asked. Scootaloo nodded.

“Yeah, we had some issues. C...Can I talk to you about something personal?”

“Of course.” Rainbow replied, then raised an eyebrow, “About sex?” Scootaloo’s face somehow went more red and she lowered her eyes to her lap, then nodded again.

“When me and Rumble were... I mean when we tried to… it didn’t really work and….”

“Oh, that kind of thing happens. I remember my first time, the poor colt was so nervous he nearly put it in my...uh, nevermind. Anyway that is nothing to worry about. You two will….” Rainbow cut herself off when she saw Scootaloo’s face. “Ah, that’s not what was wrong then?” Scootaloo was thoroughly embarrassed now. She couldn’t even bring herself to look up at Rainbow.

“N...No, I mean that when he tried to, when I saw *it,* something came over me and...and....,” She wasn’t able to finish. It was just too embarrassing to talk about this kind of thing, not to mention humiliating to admit what had happened. Rainbow Dash leaned forward and quietly whispered to her.

“It made you go back to what *they* did to you?” Scootaloo nodded again. Rainbow sighed iritably. Scootaloo looked up a bit and saw the mare trembling with fury. Despite this, her voice was calm when she spoke.

“Have you talked to Twilight about this yet?” The filly shook her head. Rainbow took a moment, thinking about what she wanted to say. “Scootaloo, I have no idea what I’m doing really. I could teach you how to pitch a tent, how to skip class without getting caught…,” she paused a moment before grinning at Scootaloo, “...how to fuck a stallion so well he’ll never want anypony but you.” Scootaloo hid her face, and Rainbow got the faintest of smiles at the reaction. The smile disappeared immediately however. “This though? I don’t have any experience with this.” Scootaloo’s eyes started to water hearing that, not sure of what to do if her big sister couldn’t help her. “I’ll tell you what I do know, Squirt.” The filly looked back up through watery eyes to see Rainbow Dash give her the most determined look she’d seen from the mare. “They don’t own you. They don’t control you. Not anymore. Remember that the next time you and Rumble are...together. Also, if anypony ever tries to hurt you like that again…,” The mare grinned savagely, “I’ll tear them to shreds.”

Rows of apple trees were waiting. Sweat ran down Apple Bloom’s neck, but she didn’t notice. Her hooves connected with the trunk of one of the trees, a patch of apples plopping into a barrel waiting below them. Apple Bloom checked one last time to be sure that all of the ripe apples had fallen, and smiled with satisfaction when she saw that they had.

“You doing alright, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked her, pulling a cart of full barrels behind her. Apple Bloom nodded excitedly. Her muscles were still readjusting to this kind of work, but she missed being out here.

“Ah’m fine, Applejack. Thanks for checking though.” She replied. Applejack gave her an uncertain glance, but nodded and turned to leave. The squeaking of the wagon wheels slowly faded as Applejack returned to the barn with the load. Apple Bloom returned her focus to the harvest. The sun was still high in the sky, and she had plenty of time. Big Mac hadn’t given her much work that day, though more than she’d expected admittedly.

She continued to make her way through the southern orchard, bucking as she went. The wind blew through the rows of trees, rustling the leaves. Apple Bloom could no longer hear her sister, with her likely being most of the way back to the farm, and with no warning, Apple Bloom suddenly began to feel uncomfortable. Her heart was hammering, and she felt dizzy for some reason. A branch snapped behind her. With a sharp scream and a leap, Apple Bloom shot away from the sound, backing herself against a tree. Where the sound had come from, she saw the fuzzy tail of a spooked squirrel disappear into a bush. Apple Bloom leaned against the tree, eyes wide, not understanding what had just happened to her.

“Hello, Scootaloo. You just missed Sweetie Belle.” Twilight cheerfully said. Scootaloo closed the clubhouse door behind her, and walked over to one of the boxes that they’d been using as chairs and threw herself down on it. The old poster of Rainbow Dash smiled down at her from the wall, and somehow that made Scootaloo feel a little brighter.

“Yeah? How’s she doing? We haven’t talked much since we got back.”

“About as well as can be expected. Why haven’t you two been seeing each other?” Twilight asked. Scootaloo shuffled in her seat, her face glum.

“I don’t know. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times, but I think she’s avoiding me.”

“ I don’t think that’s it. She’s had...her own issues to deal with, and I think she just needs time to be by herself. She’ll come to you when she is ready, same with Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo nodded, understanding.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” She leaned back, her back pressing against the cold wall.

“Well, is everything else still going well? You know you can talk to me if you are having issues.” Twilight said.

“No, I really meant what I said last time. Things are going really well. My aunts have been super supportive and understanding, I got used to going to school again pretty quick, and with Rainbow Dash watching over me, I feel pretty safe.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You are readjusting a lot more quickly than I would have expected.”

“Yeah…,” Scootaloo stared up at the ceiling. “Things are still pretty different though.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well,” Scootaloo struggled to think of how to explain what she meant, “I suppose things haven’t changed. What I really mean is, I think *I’ve* changed. Things feel brighter, funnier, prettier. I’ve stopped taking my scooter places if I know that Rainbow Dash is watching me. I feel…*here* more than I ever have.” Scootaloo paused, expecting Twilight to want to say something, but the mare just gestured for her to continue. “I don’t know how to explain it. After not being able to see the sunrise it suddenly becomes this big thing, you know?”

“I think I understand what you mean.” Twilight replied quietly. There was something in her tone, something like a mix of pity and admiration. Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she felt strangely satisfied to have finally said out loud something that’d been rolling around her head for so long. The two of them sat in silence for a bit as Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to say next, and Twilight gave her the time to think. After a moment though, when Twilight realized that Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to say next, the mare stepped in.

“What about you and Rumble?” Twilight asked. Scootaloo stiffened.

“What about us?”

“Well,” Twilight leaned forward, noting Scootaloo’s somewhat deflective response, “Have you two been doing well? Rainbow told me that you two were dating, and what you went through can...strain relationships.” Twilight’s face stayed pleasant, but there was some worry in her eyes as Scootaloo struggled to answer.

“Well, we’ve been…. Things have….” Scootaloo’s face was crimson red. She couldn’t talk about *that* with Twilight. It was one thing discussing what those stallions had done to her; that was forced on her. This was different, personal. She had barely managed to talk to her sister about it. Feeling Twilight’s eyes on her, and realizing she hadn’t really answered, Scootaloo unconsciously curled up a bit.

“Have you been having problems?” Twilight asked, understandingly. Scootaloo felt horrible. She didn’t want to hide anything. She fully understood that Twilight could help her, and that she could trust Twilight with keeping this a secret, but….

“No.” The filly lied.

The walk to Sweet Apple Acres put a pit in Sweetie Belle’s chest. Everything about this walk was so familiar, but...nothing was the same now. Rarity kept close to her, her eyes scanning the environment. Sweetie Belle smiled. Much of Rarity’s recent behavior bothered her, but there was always something both comforting and entertaining about the fashionista when she was in guard dog mode. Apple trees gave way to a flat patch of land, the Apples’ barn in the center, casting a long shadow from the evening sun. when they reached the entrance of the Apples’ home, Rarity reached out and lightly tapped on the door. Applejack answered the door.

“Rarity! It’s good to see you, and….” Her eyes went wide, and the mare grinned from ear to ear. “Sweetie Belle! My goodness, I’m so glad to have you over. You two come right in and make yourselves at home, I’ll go get Apple Bloom.” The mare quickly ran off without even waiting for a reply. Sweetie Belle looked up at Rarity in confusion. Rarity met her gaze with a sad expression.

“Apple Bloom hasn’t been doing very well I’m afraid. I’m guessing Applejack is hoping that a visit from you will help.” Rarity said. A pang of regret hit Sweetie all at once. ‘How could I have been so selfish. Apple Bloom needed me, and all I could think about was how hard it would be for *me* to see her.’ Sweetie Belle struggled to stop herself from crying as she gave a forced smile to Rarity.

“Well, it has been a while since we’ve had time to talk.” Was all she managed to say. The two walked into the main area of the living room and waited. Applejack returned shortly. Apple Bloom was right behind her, almost hiding behind the older mare’s legs. She looked at Sweetie Belle for a moment, but when Sweetie waved at her, the filly’s eyes shot to the floor. Sweetie had never hated herself more than in that moment. ‘I could have at least come over once, gotten over myself and just checked in. She probably thinks I’m mad at her.’ This needed to be sorted out as quickly as possible. It was almost physically painful for Sweetie to see her friend hurting like this. Applejack shifted nervously, the grin from before having already turned forced when she realized her sister wasn’t quite as happy to see Sweetie as she had hoped. Applejack looked to Sweetie desperately, and the filly could see all the sleepless nights and all the worry in her tired eyes. Sweetie shot the mare a comforting smile.

“I’m sorry to ask this, since I just got here and haven’t even really said hello yet, but do you mind if me and Apple Bloom go to her room for a while? There are some things that we really need to talk about.” Rarity seemed a bit upset. She likely was looking forward to a conversation with all four of them, but Applejack spoke before Rarity could object.

“Of course, Sugarcube. You two take all the time you need. I’ll get some tea ready with Rarity for whenever you two are done.” The mare then roughly pulled an objecting Rarity into the kitchen. Apple Bloom turned towards her room, gesturing for Sweetie to follow, but not even glancing up at her. The two quietly walked down the hall until they reached Apple Bloom’s room, the apple filly waiting at the door for Sweetie to enter first. When she did, Apple Bloom closed the door behind them. Despite her slow movements and glum face, Sweetie could see the glimmer of joy in her eyes. Sweetie sat down on the other filly’s bed, tapping her hoof on the mattress next to her. Apple Bloom understood, and walked over, plopping herself down beside Sweetie. She lay back and stared at the ceiling, while Sweetie started at her hooves.

“It’s been a while, since we’ve had time along like this, I mean.” Sweetie managed. Apple Bloom hummed a response, but didn’t move. “So, Apple Bloom, I wanted to talk about...what happened, what you said.” Apple Bloom turned over and buried her head in the mattress. “Apple Bloom…,” Sweetie Belle’s were starting to water. “Apple Bloom, please look at me.”

“You hate me.”

“I do not hate you. I told you that I wasn’t mad.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me? Scootaloo at least talks to me.” The filly choked back a sob, and Sweetie was barely able to maintain her own composure.

“I know I’ve been avoiding you, and I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding Scoots too. It isn’t anything personal, I just...I just really didn’t want any reminders about what happened for a little while. I’m ready to talk now, and I promise you, I’m not mad.” The apple filly turned her head slightly, poking an eye out to look at Sweetie. When she saw Sweetie’s eyes brimming with tears, she crawled onto the bed fully and rose into a sitting position. The filly’s eyes were puffy and red, and she ran a hoof over her muzzle as she sniffed loudly.

“I’m…*hic*...I’m sorry.” The filly managed.

“Apple Bloom, please don’t apologize. They made you do that.”

“But I liked it. You were miserable, and I….”

“I told you then, even if I hated doing it, I was glad you were happy for once. After everything that happened to us, it actually meant a lot to me that I could make you happy.” Sweetie smiled more sincerely than she had in days. “You mean a lot to me, more than I think you know.” She said. Apple Bloom looked down at the bed.

“You don’t...like me the way I like you though, do you?” The filly asked. Sweetie’s heart ached for her friend in that moment, but she knew that lying now would only make things work.

“No. I’m so sorry.” She quietly replied. Apple Bloom finally broke down, all composure broken. She bent over, and loudly sobbed. Seeing her friend like this was too much for Sweetie and the filly couldn’t hold back anymore either. Her chest shook as she cried. “I’m so sorry. I wish I felt that way. I just…,” Sweetie moved over to wrap her hooves around Apple Bloom’s body, holding the filly’s shaking form to her own. “...I just want you to be happy.” Apple Bloom held her back, tears soaking into Sweetie’s chest.