Celestia’s room was roughly how I remembered it.

It was roughly circular in shape and rather large, given that it was a bedroom. Her desk rested next to an intricate-looking fireplace. On the opposite side of the fireplace from the desk stood a bookshelf, stuffed with various books, tomes, and manuscripts. A golden cage rested on top of the shelves, red and gold feathers littering the bottom. Across from them, a massive four-poster bed rested underneath a picture of a blood-red sunrise. The bed itself was circular as well and hidden comfortably behind curtains of lightish pink silk. Against the wall right across from the door I had just entered was a pair of double doors that opened out onto a balcony.

Moving further into the room, I stepped carefully around the plethora of pillows that were strewn across the carpeted floor.

“Well, at least I’ll have a soft landing if I fall,” I mumbled as I skirted around a pillow that was almost the same size as a child’s bed. Having two working eyes again was throwing me off, and I had to close the right one in order to stop myself from getting sick.

I stopped in the middle of the room and peered around, unsure of what to do exactly. Sleeping was always an option, but night had just recently fallen and I was used to staying up way later than this.

The desk or bookshelf could provide some entertainment, but upon closer inspection, I discovered that most of the material was a very dry read—old law books, references, and out-dated history books. And the scrolls on her desk looked to be laws that were in the process of being passed, so I made sure to leave those alone.

The birdcage was empty, so no entertainment there.

Good god… I didn’t think Celestia could get any more boring, but really? This was all she had? What did she do in her spare time? Actually, did she even have spare time? Her lack of anything ‘fun’ was going to be the end of me.

This was shaping up to be a very long night. I suppose I could always go out onto the balcony. Not sure what I’d do out there. Maybe stargaze? It was either that or stay here, and seeing as the only other doors led to either the hallway or her closets, I’d say the balcony was the best bet.

...

Wait… closets? Plural?

I glanced back and forth between the two doors on either side of the room. One was positioned next to the bed, so I’d assume that one was a closet. But the other one…

“Does she really have enough clothes to warrant a second closet?” I asked myself. The answer—no.

Walking gingerly over to said door, I lifted a leg to open it only to pause. I glared down at my hoof as I recalled one of the biggest annoyances to being a pony. Fucking hooves and doorknobs.

“This is bullshit,” I grumbled. Flopping my flank down, I squeezed the doorknob between my forehooves and began twisting. It took a few tries, but I was eventually gifted with a soft ‘click’ as the door began to swing open. “Fuck yes.” Getting to my hooves again, I nudged the door open and glanced inside, only to do a double-take a moment later. “What the…?”

My mouth hanging open, I stepped through the doorway and beheld the other side.

I found myself in a small, cozy apartment, complete with a reading nook, a full kitchen and island dining area—along with a fully stocked wine rack—and a large bathroom with a jacuzzi-style bathtub. Everything was simply built but had an air of elegance about it. It was an apartment built for comfort, not prestige.

Stunned, I wandered around the tiny space until I found myself in the kitchen. Curiosity took over and I cracked the fridge open to take a look inside. “Oh my…” Drool began to pool in the corners of my mouth at the contents. There was the standard—milk, eggs, fruits, vegetables, etc—but several of the upper shelves appeared to be exclusively for cake. Cheesecake, carrot cake, red velvet, black forest gateau, marble cake, mirror cake—so many cakes, so little space.

“Oh baby,” I murmured as I felt my tail swish back and forth. “This night just got a lot better.”

Closing the fridge door, I pulled one of the wine bottles off the rack. It was about halfway out of the rack when it slipped from my grasp and shattered on the floor, sending blood-red wine everywhere.

“Oops.” Wincing, I stared down at the mess of wine and glass. “Aw, fuck… I’ll, um… deal with that later.” Reaching out again—with both forehooves this time—I pulled a second bottle off the rack. Even with a second hoof, I fumbled with the bottle for a moment and it almost joined its predecessor on the floor, but I managed to recover in time.

Turning it over, I peered down at the label. The wine was listed as a full-bodied red wine and had a drawing of a vineyard on the side.

“Marebec, huh?” I hummed. Carefully lifting the bottle, I grabbed the cork in my teeth and pulled. After a moment of resistance, it popped out with a nice-sounding “thhhunk’. Spitting out the cork, I brought the mouth of the bottle to my lips and took a big swig.

“Aaahhh,” I breathed. “That’s the stuff. Now, let’s see what we’ve got to do around here.” Carrying the bottle carefully, I moved to the bookshelves and began to browse the selection. After a moment, I pulled out something that looked somewhat interesting. Upon reading the back though, I rolled my eyes.

“Really, Celestia? Trashy romance novels? Really?” Sighing, I shook my head before taking another sip from the wine bottle. “Well, it’s better than nothing. Let’s see how bad it is. Wait! I’ve got it!” A grin spread across my muzzle and my tail swished back and forth. “Drinking game. Take a drink every time something cringy or cliche happens. Let’s do this.”

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

“I don’t get it.” Seated in the reading nook, I looked over the book I had propped open on the small table before me. Alongside it, I also had a plate with different slices of cake upon it and the opened bottle of wine, a quarter of which was already drained.

Still engrossed in the book, I reached down and gingerly picked up the piece of velvet cake. Making sure to shake the loose crumbs off of it, I popped the whole thing in my mouth, the sweet, velvety taste coating my tongue. I had to chew slowly, the shape of my mouth just different enough to result in a bitten tongue or cheek several times already.

“Okay, sooo… what?” Swallowing what was in my mouth, I took a gulp from the wine bottle before turning the page of the book. My brow furrowed as I read the next few paragraphs, and I shook my head. “Okay, really. I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? Interspecies relationships are fine, okay, I get that. Same-sex relationships, same thing. Herds are accepted, yeah, okay. Harem style. That makes sense. But why… why… are reverse-herds frowned upon?”

Reading a little further, I felt my muzzle scrunch up. “Really? That doesn’t seem like Equestrian standards. Three females and one male are fine, but three males and one female are not? I thought Equestria was partly matriarchal. Wouldn’t reverse-harem situations be more popular?”

I grabbed another piece of cake and popped it into my mouth before turning the page again. A moment later, I snorted. “Okay, this is stupid. This better not be how things were back in the old days, because this is a load of bullshit. If Soft Petals wants to shack up with Iron Rod, Rock Steady, and Buff Hardback, then she should damn well be able to, and the other villagers be damned! Let the poor mare be a spitroast if she wants.” Swallowing the cake, I turned the page once more, only to let out a hoot. “Yeah! Go get ‘em, girl! Don’t let Twisted Hoof stop you!”

Smiling to myself, I lifted the wine bottle to my lips again and took a big mouthful. The delicious liquid was thick and cool as it ran over my tongue, and I hummed happily as I gulped it down. I got a little too eager though, and some dribbled down my chin and into my chest fur. Lowering the bottle, I peered down at the dark red streaks that marred the white fur. “Awww… fuck.”

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

A low moan escaped me as I sunk further into the heated water. Several water jets thrummed against my back, causing my wings to spasm and twitch beneath the water. It felt weird having an extra pair of appendages along with a completely alien muscle group. I’d go to shift my shoulder and nearly topple over when a wing exploded open. Now though, the jets were working wonders, and all my muscles were starting to relax.

“Fuuuck yis,” I groaned, the back of my head resting on the lip of the tub. An ear twitched, and I couldn’t help but snicker. The words sounded strange when they came out in Celestia’s voice. An idea flashed through my head and my grin widened. “Fuck, shit, ass, tits, cock, penis, slut, cuuunt, bitch!” My ears twitched and swiveled as I kept up the vulgar deluge for a moment before lapsing into silence once more.

Letting out a low groan, I rolled over and rested my chest against the lip of the tub instead, a jet of water now gurgling against my chest fur. The position was awkward, my new hindlegs not used to the unusual angle, and it wasn’t long before a cramp formed in my right knee. Huffing softly, I pushed myself off of the edge and instead moved into the center of the tub.

The water was just deep enough to reach my shoulders and lap over the top of my back and withers. The dozens of water jets thrummed at me from all directions, creating a frothy whirlpool of bathwater around me. A couple of feathers sailed past, carried by the current. I watched them float around but did nothing to retrieve them. They drifted by a bar of soap that was nestled in a holder.

My smile waned slightly as I stared at the soap. Chewing on my lip, I glanced around to make sure that no one was watching and then, leaning down, I lapped at the purple bar.

“Ugh, fuck! Blaagh! Why the fuck…” Gagging, I scraped my tongue against my teeth before taking in a mouthful of water. After swishing it around for a moment, I spat it back into the bath. “Nope. Fuck. Pyresteed, how do you do it? That tastes horrible. Oh god, there’s a film over my lips now!”

Still trying to get the taste of soap out of my mouth, I used my hoof to pull the plug stopper out. The tub began to drain itself rather quickly, and soon I was standing in an empty basin. Pulling myself out, I looked around for a towel, only to find none. Before I could muse on this issue though, there was a burst of hot air from above. For a brief moment, I glowed orange, but then the magic faded and I was now completely dry—and a little bit puffy. Looking up, I noticed a pair of runes fading on the ceiling above.

“Huh… that’s kinda nifty,” I mumbled. My brow furrowed. “Wait… how come we don’t have that? Twilight’s supposed to be good with magic. Why am I manually drying myself off?” Grumbling to myself, I exited the bathroom.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

Me and my second opened bottle of wine stood in front of the door. It was providing me with support, and I was providing it with a purpose. After all, it must be a lonely life, being a bottle on the rack with no one to talk to. Especially if your mouth was stuffed with a large cork.

Lifting the bottle to my lips, I whispered to it. “Are.. are you’s sure about this? There’s no telling what we’s find in there.”

The bottle said nothing, but did provide a wonderful mouthful of liquid courage.

“That’s a good point, Mr. Bottle,” I said, smacking my lips. “That’s a very good point. I’s like the way you, um… you’s think.” My face felt noticeably warm and the tip of my muzzle appeared to have taken on a pinkish hue.

Keeping my new friend close to my chest, I moved forward and jostled the door handle. After a few failed attempts, it clicked and the door swung inward. There was a spark of magic, and the room inside was illuminated in a faint, warm light.

I couldn’t help but let out a low whistle.

Celestia had a decent sized walk-in closet. It was slightly smaller than Twilight’s bedroom and circular in design. The various articles of clothing were grouped by color, with almost every color of the rainbow present, and each hanging from a closet rod that wrapped around the circumference of the room. The only exposed section of the wall was right across from the door, where a full-length mirror was located.

Wide-eyed, I stared around at the clothing, my mouth suddenly dry. Lifting up the bottle, I pressed it against my ear. “Last chance. If we do this, there’s no going back. And we don't speak of this to anyone, got it?” I hissed, glaring at the bottle. “Not a single soul. Got it?”

By its silence, I concluded that the bottle had agreed to keep its mouth shut.

“Alright,” I breathed. “Let’s… let’s do this.”

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

After some difficult maneuvering—and a whole lot of muffled swearing and stumbling—I stood in front of the mirror and gawked at myself in the mirror. The clothing was a little wrinkled and disheveled, but still…

“Not bad,” I slurred, turning to the side to get a better view. A salmon-colored sash was draped around my neck and shoulders, while a dress of various shades of pink cascaded down my hindlegs. A saddle blanket rested over my back and rump, little sun symbols dotting the cloth.

Pirouetting, my wings spread as the dress flowed out behind me.

“Not bad at all,” I hummed.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

The royal purple dress stood out in stark contrast against my white fur. It billowed about my hips and thighs, giving me the appearance that I was a circus tent. White lace ran around the hem of the skirt and sleeves, and a belt of lace wrapped about my stomach. A high-necked collar of cloth rested behind my neck, forcing me to hold my head up high. A single large ruby in the shape of a heart rested against my chest, the gem stitched into the padded corset.

I eyed myself carefully for a moment before giving my reflection the evilest smile I could muster.

“Off with her head!”

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

The crimson and gold robes hung about my frame, hiding most of my body from view. There was a hole in the hood through which my horn poked, allowing the opening to hang down to nearly my muzzle. An ornate golden crown clung to the back of my head, spikes protruding out in all directions like sunbeams. Baubles and golden jewelry clung to the clothing and jingled when I moved. To make things more awkward, most of the metal bits looked like bones.

I looked down at the outfit in concern.

“Note to self… never drink any kool-aid Celestia offers,” I grunted.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

“Um… I, uh… um…”

You know, I’m not exactly sure why I decided to put this on. And I’m not sure how I feel about it now that I had it on. I’m not even sure I wanted to know when Celestia herself wore it.

Although, the magenta did look nice against my white fur…

A lovely shade of pink spread across my cheeks and, against my better judgement, I turned to get a better look at the outfit. As I moved, a shiver ran down my spine as the silken garment slid over my fur like liquid cloth. At my sides, my wings stuck out stiffly, twitching every few seconds.

“I… well, this is… um…”

A padded saddle-corset hybrid clung snugly to my barrel, squeezing my chest and stomach. How I managed to get it on, I had no idea, but it was definitely form fitting. It was attached to a pair of stockings on my hindlegs via a sturdy garter belt. Another pair of stockings were on my forelegs as well. Both hugged my legs and accentuated my thighs and rump. A leather-and-lace collar about my neck and a bridle about my muzzle completed the set.

My tail tucked itself between my legs as I stared at my reflection. In my chest, my heart fluttered and a curious heat spread out through my body. I had to admit, even though I wasn’t really attracted to Celestia in that kind of manner, the outfit was definitely doing something. Now, if the mare wearing it just happened to have a violet coat…

Something winked.

And it wasn’t my eye.

“H’o-o-okay!” I shouted shrilly, my pupil a pinprick. “Nope. Nuh-uh. Enough of that! Time to get this thing off!” Lifting a foreleg, I grabbed the stocking in my teeth and began to frantically tug on it, trying to pull it off. I stumbled awkwardly around the closet, trying desperately to remove the risque clothing as quickly as possible.

I had just managed to remove everything but the corset and the bridle when there came a gurgle from my lower stomach along with an uncomfortable pressure.

My ears splayed out to the sides as I realized what it was.

“Oh, come on…”

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

Laying in the large bed, I stared up at the roof of the four-poster bed, trying to erase the recent… event from my mind. It was not something I had needed to experience, but now it was something that would be difficult to forget. The sooner I got my body back, the sooner I’d never have to deal with it again.

Darkness hung over the room, the silk curtains around me appearing more deep purple than pink. Moonlight streaming through the balcony window illuminated the rest of the room, and I could just barely make out the other furniture as dark shadows through the curtains.

Despite the clock having chimed twice a while ago, I was still awake. I was exhausted, and I could feel the blessed relief of sleep teasing me, lurking on the edges of my consciousness, but I just couldn’t drift off.

As I lay there, waiting for the sweet kiss of slumber, I wondered how Celestia was doing down in Ponyville.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

She was Celestia. Sol Invictus. The Solar Princess. The Mother of Mercy. The Flaming Harbinger. So many names, so much history. She’d fought with gods and demons. She’d survived famines and plagues. She’d seen the end of dozens of civilizations and the births of multiple kingdoms. She’d brought low dragons and raised up paupers.

So much good, so much evil; she took it all in stride. In fact, she’d always prided herself in trying to experience most things the world had to offer. Experiencing more of this life than any other pony before her.

But this… this was not something she had ever wanted—or ever needed—to see.

Standing stock-still in the doorway to the bedroom, she stared wide-eyed at the sight before her.

“Hey, big boy,” Twilight giggled. Dressed in a school filly outfit, she grinned at her from over her shoulder. Wiggling her rump back and forth, she hiked her tail up higher. “I’ve been a naughty filly that needs to be punished.”

And lo, something that had failed to happen a thousand years ago came to pass.

The sun was bested by a moon.

Author's Note

I wasn't originally going to include a Celestia segment, but the scene came to mind one night and I had to put it in.