Author's Note

Sorry about the huge delay in chapters. I broke down and got a new job, and am currently adjusting to it.

Chapter 27: A Mouthful of Naughtiness

With a thump, I dropped the empty basket into the grass. Straightening up, I ran a hand through my short-ish hair as I eyed the lines of dry clothing fluttering in the warm spring breeze. Most of them were my clothes, but there was also bedding and blankets in the mix.

It was a warm morning, with the sun shining through the growing cloud cover the weather team was settling into place. There was rain coming in the afternoon, which was scheduled to turn into a thunderstorm later. As such, I was hurrying to finish the laundry before said rain paid us a visit.

That also meant I had to get up earlier than I liked in order to do so.

“Ah, fuck me…” Sighing, I stretched before grabbing the nearest article of clothing. I gave it a good shake before folding and depositing it into the basket. Then I grabbed the next one and did the same, and then the next one, working my way down the line. I had some issues with the fitted sheet and their stupid corners, but I eventually managed to fold them in a somewhat decent manner.

Kinda.

Not really.

I hummed tunelessly as I worked, and before long I had finished the first line. As I started on the second line though, I noticed something odd. There were odd gaps on the line where things had previously hung but were now vacant.

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I stared at the holes for a moment before glancing back towards the library. “Hey! Spike!” There was a moment of silence before a small head poked out one of the second-floor windows.

“Yeah?” he called down.

“Did you take something off the line?”

“Nuh-uh, man. I haven’t touched the lines today,” he replied.

“Huh…” I scratched at my beard, which was getting on the long side. “A’ight. Sorry to bother you.”

“No problem.” His head disappeared back inside, leaving me to myself again.

“Strange,” I muttered, still staring at the empty spots. “Maybe it was something of Ebony’s or Primrose’s? No, wait, they didn’t have anything in this batch. One of Twilight’s then? No, all the bedding is still here…” A weather pony flew by overhead, pushing a cloud, and I shook my head. “Whatever. Need to get this done.”

I was halfway through the line when I realized what was missing. “Son of a…” Doing a quick count of those that were still hanging and those I had already folded, I cursed. “Really? I don’t get it. Why is it my shirts? Why is it my shirts?” Grumbling to myself, I quickly grabbed my remaining shirts before returning to the other clothing.

This was getting annoying. With more and more of my shirts coming up missing, it wouldn’t be long before I didn’t have any left. The line hadn’t even been unattended for that long. I stepped inside for about ten minutes in order to get a book to read. I had been seated against the side of the treebrary, reading for the entire time. Nobody had entered the backyard, and yet, my shirts were missing.

Grimacing, I was forced to put the issue aside and return to folding the rest of the laundry. Overhead, the clouds continued to accumulate and darken.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

Rain pattered steadily against the window as I sunk onto the couch with a groan. It was getting late in the afternoon, and I had just finished with the last of the chores on my list. A few of them had taken a bit longer than I had anticipated, but now that they were finished, I actually felt accomplished. All there was left to do now was relax for a few minutes before getting up to find something to eat.

There was some rustling coming from upstairs; no doubt Spike working on something or other. Ebony was out in the greenhouse, trying to get all the plants set up from the experiment. Avera was probably helping the weather team finish up their preparations, and Primrose would be downstairs napping. As for Twilight, she was helping Pinkie test out a new recipe for cupcakes. That just left one other member…

…

Now that I think about it, I wasn’t entirely sure where Pyresteed was.

That… was actually an issue. I hadn’t seen her all day, and that was never a good sign.

I was in the process of willing my tired body to get up and go look for the weird oddball when, with a ‘bampf’, Twilight appeared in the middle of the library in a flash of light. She blinked and looked around, only to lift a hoof upon seeing me. A smile touched her lips. “Oh, good. You’re here. Excellent.”

“Um… was I supposed to be somewhere else?” I asked, quickly trying to remember if I had previous obligations that I had completely forgotten about.

“I don’t know,” she confessed. “Here is fine. Here is more than fine, actually. I was hoping that you didn’t wander out into town today. It’s getting a little rough out there. That’s all.” She ruffled her wings, and it was then that I noticed she was positively dripping wet.

“Good god. What happened to you?”

“I stepped out of Sugarcube Corner.” She gave her wings a flap, sending a wave of water droplets cascading to the floor. “It was only for a moment, but I got completely soaked! Decided to teleport home instead. Unfortunately…” she motioned to the puddle growing at her hooves “...it was too little, too late.”

“Well, make sure you clean up after yourself,” I said. Leaning back, I rested my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes. “I just finished cleaning up around here, and I’d like it to remain clean for as long as possible.”

“Huh? Really?” There was a chime of magic and I felt a wave of heat wash over me. Cracking open my eye, I saw that Twilight was now completely dry. Her mane was still disheveled and her coat was now a little poofy, but both just contributed to her adorableness.

She eyed me with some amusement as she trotted up. “So, you did some cleaning today? Really? Without me needing to ask you?”

I nodded. “Yeah, actually. I did. Surprise!”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did you do the laundry? Did you dust the shelves? Did you set up the coffee so it’d be ready to go in the morning?”

“Yup!” I closed my eyes again. “Everything’s set up and ready to go. Just hit the button and blam! Coffee.” There was a moment of silence before a sudden weight settled on top of me. Opening my eyes, I came face to face with Twilight, who was now seated in my lap.

“That,” she whispered, her eyes lidded, “is the sexiest thing I’ve heard all day.” Leaning in, she pressed her soft lips against mine, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure racing down my spine. The scent of lavender filled my nostrils, flooding my senses and causing me to slump further down into the couch. It was heavenly...

It only lasted a second before she pulled away.

My lips still tingling, I licked them as my pulse quickened. I wanted more. “W-well, how about this? I also cleaned both bathrooms and changed out the towels.”

“Oooh…” Twilight breathed. “Tell me more.” Leaning down, she nuzzled the side of my face. “Please,” she pleaded, “tell me more. Surprise me, stud.” Her breath washed over my skin, sending goosebumps across my arms.

“I changed the sheets on the beds, emptied the trash bins, and sent out all the late notices in the mail.” With each task I listed, Twilight let out little, mewling gasps and buried her face further against my cheek. She pressed her body against me, her coat sliding against my shirt.

“Oh my goodness,” she moaned in my ear. “Give me more, stud. I need more.”

I tried to speak, but my words caught in my throat as her tongue suddenly brushed along the ridge of my ear. She nibbled on my lobe and I squirmed beneath her weight. It was suddenly very, very warm in the room, and I was acutely aware of her weight pressing down on something very, very sensitive.

“Ha… ah… I-I ordered some updated books f-for the library,” I stammered, subconsciously turning my head to allow her greater access to my ear. I placed a hand on her flank, to which she groaned into my ear. “The first s-shipment should be here in about a w-w-weee—ah! In about a week!”

Twilight went stiff. “Oh, Celestia, yes!” she cried, throwing her head back. “That’s the stuff! Oh my, yes! Yes! Yes!” Leaning down, she captured my lips again in an aggressive kiss, her tongue ruthlessly invading my mouth, before suddenly turning and jumping down off the couch. She trotted off, leaving me dazed, confused, and extremely flustered.

“W-wait,” I called after her, the hand that had been on her butt now just hanging in mid-air.

“Hmmm?” She paused and looked back over her shoulder. “What’s wrong? Did you need something?”

“That… that’s it?” I sputtered. “All that build-up? The sexiness? The licking? We’re not just gonna, you know… do it now?”

“Eh…” Twilight shrugged. “The moment’s kind of passed… but thanks for doing all those things! You’re amazing.” Her laughter filled the library as a pillow cushion hurled across the room to bean her in the ass.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

I stared down my foe with great intensity.

She stared back with a matching level of innocence.

Silence filled the room as we continued our staring contest. Only the sound of the rain outside could be heard. Neither of us moved, neither of us blinked, and I’m pretty sure at one point neither of us breathed for a brief moment.

And then…

“WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH?!” I roared, lunging over the couch.

Cheeks bulging, Pyresteed juked left, dodging under my reaching arms and ducking around the furniture. Her scarred feet slapped against the floor as she ran, and her hair billowed out behind her.

I tried to correct myself in mid-air, which only resulted in me knocking over the coffee table. As pain exploded in my shin, I turned and chased after the fleeing female. “Oh no you don’t! Get back here!” My fingers brushed against the back of her shirt, but she ducked and weaved again, twisting her torso in an almost cat-like manner. Before I could grab her, she rolled under the couch and popped out the other side.

“Don’t you dare!” I began, but it was too late. Now in the clear, Pyresteed took off and nyoom’ed quickly up the stairs.

Letting out a cry of frustration, I charged after her.

At the top of the stairs, a disheveled-looking Spike lay collapsed on the floor, his eyes rolling in his head. “Ugh, what hit me?” he asked as I raced by.

From room to room we played this game of cat and mouse. We went up and down the stairs several times (Spike had quickly gotten out of the danger zone) and made so much noise that before long we had an audience. Perched on top of one of the bookshelves, Avera watched on with some amusement. Ebony and Spike both watched from the safety of the couch, a rosy dome of magic covering them. Their heads turned back and forth as they followed us.

“Gotcha!” Making a diving tackle, I finally managed to catch Pyresteed as she moved to race up the stairs a fourth time. Pinning her beneath my weight, I grabbed her head in my hands. “Open your mouth!”

Arms trapped against her sides, she could only kick her legs as she tried to wiggle her head from my grasp.

“Open your mouth!” I repeated. “What the hell do you have?”

“Mmmgrrrrlf!” came the muffled reply as she refused to.

“Open your mouth!”

“Mmnnngrph!”

“Open your mouth this instant!”

“Gggfffllrrrkk!”

Pyresteed, I swear if you do not open your mouth this instant…” Clutching at her chin, I began to try and pry her jaw open. She fought back, determined to keep her prize. Her knees thumped against my back, the blows surprisingly strong.

We continued to wrestle with one another for about a minute before I was finally able to make some progress. It was about that time that Twilight appeared at the top of the stairs.

“What in Equestria is going on down here?” she asked.

“Ah-ha!” I cried out, holding the stolen prize aloft for all to see. Silence fell as everyone stared at the thing held in my hand.

“Holy buck,” Avera whistled.

“I don’t believe it,” chimed in Ebony. Spike and Twilight just stared with wide eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Pryesteed,” I said as I got off of her. “You’ve got to stop putting anything and everything into your mouth.” Opening my hand, I watched as the bird flitted away drunkenly, probably still dazed from its time in its fleshy prison. It bumped into the wall several times before finally collapsing onto a high-up window sill.

“Nuuuh,” Pyresteed whined as she watched it fly away. “Peep peeper. Come back!” She hiccupped, and a cloud of feathers burst from her mouth.