Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkleby Split ScimitarChaptersPONY 101: Intro to PoniesTwolightThe City in a Garden by The Lake3.14z^2a 3.14Calculating the Volume of a CylinderPizza Status: GotPONY 101: Intro to PoniesAuthor's Note As this story was being written, I graduated from Uni, and two weeks later, my dad had a stroke, which is mentioned in the story. I did my best on this one, but any shortcomings in the writing are result of the emotional toll from my dad’s stroke, which coincidentally occurred the same day I published my previous story. PONY 101: Intro to Ponies “Hey Twilight,” I text as I prep for landing, “picking up Applejack now. You want to meet us in the city or my airport?” “My friend wants to see the city, so would you mind driving and giving a tour?” “Absolutely. You want to meet at my airport or in the city?” “Perfect! She says she looks forward to it! We’ll meet at your airport.” “Good to hear. Look forward to seeing you again.” “Same here!” “Boeing 265AK, the wind calm, nobody behind you. Runway 8, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land runway 8, Boeing 265AK.” Autopilot disengage. 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. 40 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “Boeing 5AK, turn left on A, taxi Tac Air via A, hold short runway 2.” “Left A, A to Tac Air, short of runway 2, 265AK.” When I pass G, tower calls, “Boeing 265AK, cross runway 2, taxi via A to Tac Air, monitor ground .9.” “Cross runway 2, A to Tac, Ground .9, 265AK.” Once parked, I leave the APU on since Applejack’s on her way and it’s late afternoon, so most people still “aren’t home yet.” In other words, my turnaround time is quick, so I’d much rather leave it on. “Applejack! So great to see you!” I say as I open my arms for a hug. “Howdy, sugar cube!” She exclaims hugging me tighter than a python, the smell of her hair a rather refreshing one. “Thank you for joining me. Means a lot.” “Glad to be here. Thank you kindly for inviting me. It’s always nice spending time with you!” “Aw, well thank you. You don’t get air or motion sick do you?” “Seasick, yes. Airsick, no.” “Ok, good. There’s no turbulence forecast, but you never know. I don’t want you to remember flights with me by being sick the entire time, especially because this is the first time you’ve flown with me.” “Nah. It’s fine. I’ve flown in small planes a few times and never got sick. I’ve only been seasick once, and knowing who my pilot is might help too.” She pauses as I take care of the fees. I let her go ahead of me as we climb the air stair to board. She then sighs in relief and says, “looks like ‘ya have a proper airplane this time, so I trust it’ll be kind to me” as she pats the fuselage right next to the entry door. “Don’t you speak about Airbus like that.” I say after retracting the air stair. “Well, I’m sorry that I don’t feel comfortable on an airplane that’ll fly itself into the ground!” “Say what you want. That was pilot error as much as a technical… fault!” I say grunting out the last two words to shut and lock the cabin door. “Yer’ namesake was pilot error. Too many computer doohickeys. Yer’ slave to a machine.” She responds as I squat down to arm the door. When I stand up again, I respond, “That was also a deciding factor in the MAX. Pilot error was, probably intentionally, overlooked, but Boeing deciding to go towards heavy computerization in their airplanes was something that I wasn’t comfortable with. Even so, I was always skeptical about the MCAS, and I guess my suspicions were right. MCAS was designed to be minimally invasive, until someone at Boeing decided it should intervene automatically, with very roundabout ways of only partially disabling it.” “Still, I trust Boeing more than Airbus.” “I won’t argue with that.” By the time we finish that conversation, we‘re all ready to go. Applejack chooses to indulge in some first class luxury, leaving me a solo act for the hourlong flight to Gusty Garden. “Fort Smith clearance, Boeing 265AK, IFR to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “Boeing 265AK, full route clearance available. Advise when ready to copy.” “Go ahead, 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to Chicago Gusty Garden via FSM Q23 RZC J105 BDF TOBBY.SODOR7. Maintain 12,000. Razorback departure 120.9. Squawk 0422.” “Cleared to Gusty Garden via Fort Smith, Q23, Razorback, J105, Bradford, TOBBY, SODOR Seven Arrival. Maintain 12,000 on departure. Razorback 120.9, squawk 0422, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 5AK, readback correct. Expect departure heading from tower. Ground .9.” “265AK.” “Fort Smith Airport Information Alpha, 1910Z. Wind variable at 4, visibility 10, sky condition: broken 8,000, scattered 12,000, few 25,000. Temperature 7, dew point -2, altimeter 30.02. ILS and Visual runway 26 in use. Landing and departing runway 26. Notices to Airmen. Restricted Area 2401-Alpha and Bravo active, Surface to FL300, sunrise to sunset. Restricted Area 2402-Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, not active, refer to NOTAMs. Advisory: all VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. Various tower lights out of service in various quadrants. Advise on initial contact, you have information Alpha.” “Fort Smith Ground, Boeing 265AK, information A, taxi.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith Ground. Runway 25, taxi via A, hold short runway 2.” “A to 25, short of runway 2, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared across runway 2. Taxi to runway 26 via A.” “Cross runway 2, A to 26, Boeing 265AK.” As I check to make sure flaps are set to 10 instead of 5 for the shorter runway, autopilot is set and programmed as necessary, and maintaining a healthy taxi speed, we reach the hold short. “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, short of 26 at A, ready for departure.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower, runway 26, line up and wait, pending IFR release.” “Line up and wait 26, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK,” tower calls about 35 seconds later, “runway 26, cleared for takeoff, fly runway heading.” “Cleared for takeoff 26, runway heading, 265AK.” I respond, and gently advancing the throttles forward, I use a rolling short field technique to ensure adequate takeoff run. 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Flaps 5. Flaps up. “Boeing 265AK, contact Razorback approach. Have a good flight.” “Stop the plane!” AJ shouts bursting into the cockpit and shaking me violently. “Fu-u-u-u-uck, A-a-pp-l-le-j-a-a-ck!!” I shout as her shaking transfers to the yoke. “I forgot my phone!” She shouts as she heads back to the cabin. “Boeing 265AK, we need to return to the field. My client forgot her phone.” “N265AK, roger. Are you still planning on flying to Gusty Garden?” “Affirm, can you amend our flight plan for departure in 45 minutes?” “Boeing 265AK, on request. Would you like the visual or shoot an approach?” “Boeing 265AK, let’s do an approach.” I reply as I configure the aircraft. “N265AK, squawk VFR, turn right heading 310, vectors to AYUWU. Contact Razorback Approach on 120.9.” “VFR, 310, Razorback, Boeing 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, heading 310 for AYUWU, ILS 26 Fort Smith.” “Boeing 265AK, Razorback Approach, roger. Proceed direct AYUWU, slow to 150 knots, traffic inbound to Fort Smith a CRJ-900 turning 5 mile final on the DME arc.” “Direct AYUWU, in sight, 150 knots, 265AK.” Flaps 10. “Approach brief. ILS Z runway 26 into Fort Smith. Primary navaid Fort Smith Localizer on 111.3. Approach course inbound 256. 8,000’ of runway available. TDZE 446’. Airport Elevation 469’. Circle FSM 10 DME Arc north of the localizer from AYUWU at or above 3,100 until established on course inbound. Once established, descend to 2,700, our glide slope intercept and final approach fix. Follow glideslope to ILS minimums of 653 and 2400 RVR. Missed approach point intersection of glideslope at 653. If environment is in sight, continue to land. If not, if we have at least one piece of the environment in sight, we can go to 550. Missed approach procedure, climb 2,500 direct to Jembo NDB and hold. Identify FSM VOR? I-FSM LOC? Jembo: GK? Check. Check. Check. GPS overlay can substitute, but good to know we have our primaries. FAF identified by FSM R-118 and 7.0 GPS. To avoid the restricted area, offset course by turning when we cross FSM R-075 instead of 076. Approach brief complete.” Vref set. Lower landing gear. Flaps 15. “N265AK, contact Fort Smith Tower, 118.3.” “Over to tower now, 265AK.” “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK at OCEXA, ILS 26.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. Report WIZER inbound.” “Report WIZER inbound, 265AK.” Flaps 25. “Boeing 265AK, previous aircraft reported wind shear on short final.” “Roger, thanks, 265AK.” Flaps 30. Just under 2 minutes later, I get the FAF. Timer set, “Tower, Boeing 265AK at WIZER.” “Boeing 265AK, runway 26, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land 26, Boeing 265AK.” 1000. 100. Minimums. Minimums! Minimums! Runway and environment in sight. Autothrottle disengage. Normal maneuvers, normal descent to land. Autopilot disengage. 50. 40. 30. Suddenly, a heart-stopping drop precedes a loud “Windshear! Windshear! Windshear!” “Power!” I shout out of habit as I shove the throttles forward. 20. 10. “Max!! I found my phone!” She shouts bursting into the cockpit again and waving her phone in my peripheral. “God damn it.” I whisper as I shove the throttles full forward, initiate a climb and clean up the airplane. “Tower, Boeing 265AK going missed, as published.” I say cleaning the aircraft up. “N265AK, roger…? Do you want to try again?” “Negative. My client actually does have her phone after all. If able, we’d like to get our clearance to Gusty Garden once established in the hold, 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK… roger. Fly the published missed, maintain 3,000.” “As published, 3,000, will report established, Boeing 265AK.” “I’m awful sorry, sugar cube.” She utters feebly sitting down in the right seat. “It’s fine. Just don’t scare me like that when we’re 5 feet off the deck.” I respond, which makes AJ redder than ever. Track to GK/Jembo. 3,000. 200 knot speed limit. “N265AK, contact Razorback approach.” “Over to Razorback, 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, missed approach at Fort Smith, as published holding at 3,000.” “Boeing 265AK, Razorback departure, roger. Report established in the hold.” “Will report established, 265AK.” A few minutes later, we begin our first proper racetrack circuit, to which I report, “Razorback, Boeing 265AK established.” “N265AK, roger. Contact Fort Smith tower for your clearance, 118.3.” “Over to tower, talk to you soon, 265AK.” “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, established in the hold at Jembo, clearance to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “Boeing 265AK, contact Razorback Approach, they’ll get it for you.” “Over to Razorback, 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, clearance to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “N265AK, Razorback approach, contact Fort Smith tower, 118.3, they’ll get it for you.” “We’ll try again with Fort Smith, but they’ll probably give us back to you, Boeing 265AK.” “Fort Smith Tower, Boeing 265AK, Razorback wants you to take our clearance.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. There is no flow into either Chicago O’Hare or Midway. Contact Razorback approach on 120.9.” “Roger no flow, we’ll let ‘em know, 265AK.” “Razorback, Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith insists you take our clearance, as there is no flow into Chicago area airports at this time.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to the Gusty Garden Airport via as filed, except expect FL310, climb and maintain 11,000, squawk 0214.“ “Cleared to Gusty Garden as filed, 11,000, expect FL310 instead of 350, squawk Valentines Day, Boeing 265AK.” “N265AK, readback correct. Proceed direct Fort Smith.” “Direct Fort Smith, climbing 11,000, Boeing 265AK.” “So sugarcube, are you gonna woo me with a fancy Valentines dinner?” Applejack asks as I initiate the climb. “No. You said nothing fancy, remember? Especially since it’s not just the two of us. I want to beat dinner traffic, which in the city tends to start at 15:30 for a day like this. Plus, if you ask me, commercialization of holidays is a bunch of bullshit.” “I‘m with ‘ya on that.” “Wait, you hate the holidays like I do? That seems unlike you.” “Gift giving is always fun, don’t get me wrong, but the biggest thing I look forward to at the holidays is being with family.” “Been like that since I was in middle school,” I nod in agreement. “Of course, with my disownment, that all changed, but that’s NHNT.” “NHNT?” “Neither here nor there.” “Now wait an Apple pickin’ minute! Yer’ family disowned ya?!” “Yep.” “Oh. Well, okay… Um, have ya’ been told about the portal to Equestria?” She asks nervously, desperate to change the subject. “No. Don’t know who would tell me.” “Basically, 6 of us have pony twins in an alternate world of various sapient creatures. In Twilight’s case, she’s a unicorn-turned-alicorn, currently the reigning Princess of Friendship.” “Uh huh.” I respond a little more than skeptical. “So you’re telling me that there exists an alternate universe where Twilight is a pony princess?” “Eeyup.” “What does that make you then?” “My counterpart’s an earth pony. No horn, no wings.” “Okay. What about the others?” “Uh, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are Pegasi, Rarity‘s a unicorn, and Pinkie’s an earth pony. Sunset Shimmer is a unicorn, but she doesn’t have a human counterpart that we know of. She’s the only one of her, if ya’ take my meaning.” “Interesting. Kind of makes me wonder what that would make me.” “Knowing you, ye’d probably be a Pegasus.” “With broken wings.” “Kind of like Scootaloo. Her wings are too small for her to sustain flight.” “Scootaloo’s a Pegasus?” “Eyup. All three pony types are covered with her, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, they call themselves.” “Cutie Mark?” “In Equestria, when a pony discovers what they’re meant to do or what makes ‘em special, a cutie mark appears on their flank.” “Does that mean that if I went to Equestria, I’d have a silhouette of an airplane adorning my ass?” “Maybe.” “So where’s the portal?” “That I don’t know. I assume Twilight – our Twilight, has one at her house, but if there are others, I have no idea.” “Hmm.” “Boeing 265AK, climb and maintain FL230.” “Climb to 230, 265AK.” “Who knows though, sugar cube. If you were to walk through that portal, there is a slight chance that you may not even be a pony.” “What other species could I be then?” “Dragon, Griffon, Kirin, even a Changeling.” “Wouldn’t I like to know.” I say as I monitor the airplane in the climb. At cruising, Applejack asks me, “Sugar cube, I don’t wanna bring up any sour apples, but would you mind telling me about y’all’s gettin’ disowned?” “It’s fine. Not much to tell there, I wanted to go into aviation. The family tried everything in their power to get my head out of the clouds. I attempted suicide because they refused to listen to me. They found out and severed all connections to me, since apparently, I hated myself enough to attempt suicide. As far as they’re concerned, I never existed. I was never born.” Twolight“Boeing 265AK, descend via the COLON Two Arrival, LXATV transition for flow into Chicago O’Hare and Midway.” “LXATV on the COLON2, 265AK.” “Approach brief: Colon Two, LXATV transition. From MOUTH, course 120 at or above 6,900 to LXATV, then on course 180 direct to ANUSS, expect radar vectors. Since the LXATV is in use, there’s obviously flow control, and we have to be landing south. Approach brief complete.” As I prepare the cabin for landing, AJ quips, “Boy are you gonna look like a pimp.” “Are you trying to suggest something?“ “No.” When we land at SMG, I text Twilight a timestamp to confirm our arrival. Not expecting a response, one comes. “OK” (likely from a smart watch) While we wait for Twilight, Applejack and I chat while I stare at the two airplanes parked at the gates in our view. “I don’t mean to sound unappreciative, but did you just accept this date so neither of us would feel bad?” “No. I wasn’t fibbin’ when I said I wanted to have a lunch date with you. However, you didn’t specify whether you wanted it to be just us or with others. Hence, Twilight and her plus one.” “Who?” “A friend of ours, also named Twilight.” “You know two Twilights?” “Actually, it’s kind of an interesting story. This Twilight’s a pony princess in Equestria.” “Wait, what?” “Twilight’s bringing her equestrian counterpart to dinner with us.” “Your pony counterparts can hop between their world and ours?” “Eyup!” “Damn. If she’s the Princess of Friendship, I wouldn’t put it past them for her to be crowned royalty. Somebody, or rather, somepony got the short end of the stick.” “I mean, our Twi went to a very prestigious and intense prep school.” “That explains her high-level smarts, one-percenter innocence and general outlook on life.” “How d’ya mean?” “One percenter because of how she seems to carry herself, the innocence shown in a notable discomfort around stuff that, say, someone like me would find intriguing. As for the general temperament, aside from being a logical and calculating individual, she’s also the type of person that derives her pleasures from different sources than others. She seems to belong to the “subculture as mainstream” subgroup.” “Rainbow Dash just calls her an egghead.” “I’ve never heard Rainbow Dash say the word egghead, never mind to Twilight.” “Equestrian Rainbow Dash calls Princess Twilight an egghead.” “That shouldn’t surprise me, and it doesn’t. Even so, I can’t say that it isn’t funny.” “Yeah? Well, you’ll be in for a nice surprise when you hear…” “Hi Applejack.” Two identical voices call out. “Howdy Twilight!” She says to the both of them. “Max,” our Twilight says, “meet, um, ‘other me.’” “Your majesty.” I say genuflecting humorously. “Please; we’re outside my realm. We don’t have to be so formal.” Equestrian Twilight blushes in shock. ”Just a sign of respect, ma’am.“ I say offering my hand, which she shakes. “I’ll admit, I’m still not entirely used to these things.” She says wiggling her fingers. “I can imagine. How often do you come out to these parts?” “Uh, not much. Being a princess is busy work.” “I’ll bet.” “But, ever since the Friendship map expanded to include this dimension, some of us will probably make more trips here.” “Sure. Speaking of here, you’ve been promised a tour of Chicago, so when you’re ready, we can get that started.” “Okay!” She responds cheerfully. “How are we going to distinguish human Twilight from Princess Twilight?” “Which one of ya wants to go by Twi?” AJ then asks, sounding like it’s the simplest solution, which it is. Both of them look at each other and give each other the chance to answer. “I can just go by Twily.” The Princess responds. “I like it.” I respond. “Better than my alternative.” “What?” “‘Princess.’” “NO!” All 3 respond simultaneously. “I think Twily will be just fine.” The Princess finishes as all four of us climb into a Ford Raptor of my own, still touting new car placards. “I cannot believe you made that drive in this kind of weather with that car. I’ll quote Applejack on this: you’re Plum Crazy.” “Actually,” she chuckles with a blush, “I didn’t hit any inclement weather until I passed the state line. We’re fortunate to have this break in traditional midwestern weather. Come tomorrow, it’s supposed to really start coming down.” “Oh yeah. Well, I’m glad the crews that keep my airport operable are loyal to me. Anyway, did you take Calumet or Tri-State?” “Neither.” She responds shaking her head. “I left the interstate close to Chicago Heights. Took back roads in an effort to take the most direct route.” “How much was the toll?” “$5.” “Here.” I say providing her with some $20s. “Toll there and back, plus gas money.” “No, no. I couldn’t accept this.” “I can’t let my only payment to you be dinner. You drove 3 hours here, plus you’ve got 3 hours back to Indy.” “Ugh,” she groans playfully. “Fine. You give Rarity a run for her money.” “Oh pfft! I earn more money per hour than the average American makes in a year. I earn money faster than I can spend it.” “How have you avoided gold diggers?” “Oh, I’ve dealt with plenty. I’m just lucky that none of them married me.” The City in a Garden by The LakeAfter we get onto the interstate, AJ asks, “Hey Max, what exactly did you mean by ‘see you in San Francisco?’” “The meaning of the phrase is twofold. 1. San Francisco is where you can usually find me if I’m not at home or in Chicago. 2. ‘I’m going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.’” “Max!!” Applejack shouts back indignantly as both Twilights gasp simultaneously. “Are you okay?” Twi asks as she grabs my arm. “What’s going on?” “It’s just a joke. Sorry Twily, I should’ve warned you. I have a very… demented sense of humor.” “Well, it’s… dark.” She responds nervously. Quickly changing gears, I jump off Dan Ryan at MSI, I traffic check to find the least congested way to do the tour, and contrary to the first time, it actually is more favorable to start north at Wrigley and work our way down, the best place to end looking like… MSI. “Okay, looks like we’re all nice and settled in. This should take no more than an hour or two, traffic pending. Of course, I have quite a bit to say about most of our stops, but I’ll try and make it quick. As we make our way to our starting point, let me get you acquainted with a little history lesson: Chicago is the third most populous city in the United States, behind New York and Los Angeles, but it wasn’t always this big. The city’s relatively humble beginnings date back to the 1830’s. Somewhere in the city limits, I forget the exact place, is the saddle point for what was a water gap that today links the Mississippi River to Lake Michigan, one of the 5 Great Lakes in North America. The area had been settled by Natives known as the Potawatomi, who replaced the original Miami and Sauk/Fox inhabitants when the latter two groups were forcibly removed and relocated to Oklahoma. The name Chicago is a Miami–Illinois word which means “wild onion” or “wild garlic,” but onion tends to be the preferred translation. After some years of war between the United States and natives, eventually Chicago became a settlement town of about 200 people after the Potawatomi were themselves forcibly removed and sent to Oklahoma. Within a few years, the town grew exponentially. The water gap I referred to earlier played a big part in it. The Chicago Portage as it was called was able to link the eastern and western halves of the United States by connecting the Mississippi River to the Great Lakes by allowing Steam Ships and eventually railroads to traverse the country, forming a massive fortress hub that became a bit of a melting pot, as the city was one of the biggest stops for transcontinental journeys that back then would take a much longer time than today. Even so, Chicago is still a very popular spot for all modes of long-distance transportation. By the way, Twily, how much do you know about this world?” “I’ve done a fair amount of research, but I haven’t dug too deeply into anything specific.” “Okay, well, let me explain the sport of baseball to you. My personal favorite of all the American sports. The object of the game is to score more runs than your opponents over the course of 9 innings. One inning is divided into top and bottom. In each half, one team plays the field, on defense, and the other team bats, on offense. To score a run, a batter must cross 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base safely, in order before he can cross home plate. A run is counted when the runner safely crosses home plate. In order for a runner to be safe, he must be on the base, or he can be tagged out with the player that has the ball. Each team consists of 9 players, all of whom play positions and bat, except if you’re in the American League, where you have a designated hitter who bats instead of the pitcher, but that’s another story. 3 outs and the teams switch sides. Very simple game, relatively simple rules. The game has been around since at least the 1800’s, with no clear origin story, and the origins of baseball have in fact been the subject for much debate in American history. Again, another story. If we had the time, I could teach you the game, but you have more important duties. Nevertheless, as we approach our first stop, allow me to introduce you to Wrigley Field. This is the home of the Chicago Cubs, and has been since 1916. The stadium is famous for a number of reasons including the ivy-clad outfield brick wall, bleacher seats that are actually located on rooftops of buildings across the street, the red marquee that we’ll pass by shortly, and for the history buff, the second-oldest ballpark in Major League Baseball, famous for its refusal to install lights for night games until 1988, and home of the Chicago Bears of the National Football League from 1921 to 1970. Football by the way is up there with baseball as the most American sport there is, and we’ll get to American Football at the present home of the Bears later on. Chicago is a city built on history, even more so than others I would argue, as the city has played host to a number of significant historical events, four of which are depicted on the city flag.” After I pause to pull up an image of the flag, Applejack, sitting in the front seat, holds my iPad up while I explain each feature. “The flag consists of two blue stripes dividing the white background into thirds. Each white portion represents a side of the town, North Side on top, West Side in the middle, and South Side on the bottom. Each blue stripe represents a body of water connected to the city: on top we have Lake Michigan and the North Branch of the Chicago River, which is the main body of water through the heart of downtown; and underneath that is the South Branch of the Chicago River and the Great Canal, the Portage/Watershed/Drainage Basin that the city was founded on. Lastly, we have the four stars.” Before I can speak on the stars, the light turns green, so I stop talking to navigate. I continue when we get settled nicely. “The first star represents the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. I’ll talk about that in a bit. The second star represents the World’s Columbian Exposition in 1893. Consider it a World’s Fair, where the world was invited to the city to celebrate culture, technology, and other things. This expo was actually where the Ferris Wheel was born, or rather, debuted, and the design was originally known as the Chicago wheel. The Ferris Wheel was named after the inventor, George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. It included thirty-six cars capable of holding forty people, a considerable difference from most Ferris Wheel designs today. As the expo was a celebration of culture, so would it shape the image of the city, becoming a city built on human unity, diversity, and universality. The third star represents the Century of Progress Exhibition, held forty years after the World’s Columbian Expo, in 1933. Also known as the Chicago World’s Fair, this expo celebrated the city’s centennial and the fighting spirit of not only Chicago, but of the country, fresh off the recovery from the Great Depression. The expo was also intended to promote the idea that man and machine could work together in harmony to create a utopia, as seen in the expo’s motto: “science finds, industry applies, man adapts.” Of course, even today, the idea of man and machine working together seems like a concept of the distant future, but even so, humans have made it leaps and bounds beyond what could even be considered at the time. The World’s Columbian Exposition took place in an area around the south side of the city, and the Century of Progress took place at Northerly Island park. The fourth star represents Fort Dearborn, one of the original U.S. forts that marked the official settlement of what would become Chicago. There are two structures that were called Fort Dearborn; the first was destroyed during the War of 1812, and the second one was lost to the ravages of time and the Great Chicago Fire.” Before I can start talking about the fire, we hit another red light. Checking the map, I expect to need to floor it to make a lane change ahead of an upcoming left turn. When the light does turn green, I bump the gear lever into manual mode and put my foot down. The engine reaches 5000 rpm when I flick the paddle and jump into the far left lane so I can catch LSD. “The Great Chicago Fire,” I begin while waiting in the left turn lane, “is one of the most significant events in the history of the city, and is in fact the namesake of the city’s soccer franchise. On October 8, 1871, a small fire broke out in an alleyway. That in of itself was not a problem. However, there are three major contributing factors to the fire’s disastrous spread. So disastrous in fact that the fire burned for two straight days. Firefighters couldn’t keep up with it, because thanks to an error by the watchman, they were sent to the wrong place, in full force. This caused the fire to grow rapidly without any defenses against it, which brings us to our second major contributing factor, the construction of the city. Back in the day, the primary building material of choice was wood. Even in Equestria I imagine, wood is a ~~poplar~~ popular choice in building homes and offices and such. But what happens when you combine a city built on wood with a rapidly growing fire?” Before I can continue, the light turns green so we can merge onto LSD. “Sorry to change gears, but I must break for one of the more famous parts of the city today, Lake Shore Drive, or LSD. Famous for running 3 stories of traffic in the financial district of the city, Lake Shore Drive is one of the best roads in Chicago to cruise with the top and/or windows down, with the freshwater lake air in your hair, or mane as the case may be. This is consequently one of the most crowded roads in the city. Nevertheless, it is still one of my favorite places to drive, as the name would imply, all of Chicago’s beaches are accessible and visible from this very road. If you ever have time in our summer, I’m sure it would be fun.” “Thank you for doing this, Max.” Twily says. “Can you slow down just a little bit? It’s a lot to take in.” “Oh. Of course, I’m sorry. Is there anything you have questions about while we’re stopped?” “These expositions on the flag: do they still take place?” “Actually yes, they do. There are various types of expositions, most of which don’t even carry the ‘World’s Fair’ name anymore, but it is still very much alive. Most of those expositions take place all around our world, but even so, Chicago gets credit for hosting one of the earliest ones.” “And the Great Depression? I’ve done some reading into it, but what caused it?” “There are many schools of thought as to what caused the Great Depression, and I actually am not well-versed in economics. That being said, I know that a major coincidence I jokingly accept as the root cause is that the concept of credit became mainstream. The public was so enthused by the concept of being able to buy something without needing to pay much if at all upfront that a lot of them splurged and *conveniently forgot* about paying what they actually owed. That theory has no grounds, but it makes for a nice joke. The point I make with that statement is that people in this world are stupid, but you learn to hate the people and love the place.” “And the last question for now: what is meant by natives? The pota… potawa…” “Potawatomi?” “Yes.” “Natives in this case would refer to native Americans. The original settlers of the land, or the settlers that inhabited the land before the arrival of European settlers. That whole discussion of history I will not lie is sad and brutal, but in light of recent political events, I’d rather not talk about it. It’s a very sensitive issue.” “Okay…” Twily responds with unease. “I’m sorry.” “No, no, it’s okay. I just realized how bad this world truly is. I mean, Equestria is not without its faults, but this world is a different kind of bad.” “How do you mean?” “Well, as a princess myself, I don’t get this as much as I did before becoming a princess. In our capital city of Canterlot, there are a lot of ponies who think they’re better than everypony else, and refuse to even look at anyone less than them.” “Ooh. Classism. We have that too, but that’s not as much of an issue. For some, it’s still a problem, but not really social class. Mostly today, thanks to certain people getting behind someone in power who can give them a voice, we get racism. Hatred of one person by another on the basis of their race, or rather, where they’re from. Twi tells me you have some semblance of that in Equestria too.” “Yes…” she responds disappointedly. “Usually an issue with high society in Canterlot. The most discriminated against race is the earth ponies, who are considered by some to quite literally be the scum of Equestria. As for the Pegasi, most of the time they get dirty looks from others for making weather that was detrimental to them. For example, if you were a Pegasus, I would confront you in the street and say something like “hey, you ruined my family picnic by sending rain when it was supposed to be sunny! What gives?!” I don’t know why the unicorns adopted that philosophy, but it’s disheartening nonetheless.” “I would be too if I was a unicorn. But the whole concept of differing views is not a bad thing, you know. Political variance can be beneficial.” “You think infighting is a bad thing?!” “No. I mean that such variation in political views, and in fact some degree of political discord, is actually a sign of a healthy democracy.” “Hmm…” “Think about it like this: if there was no disagreement between citizens, then by definition, all citizens would be in agreement. If everyone is in agreement, then everyone has the same train of thought. Doesn’t that sound antithetical to what a democracy is? The word democracy came from Ancient Greek, δημοκρατία (demokratia), which literally means ‘rule of the people.’ Granted, your ruling system is not a democracy, but even for a monarchy, you seem to hold yourself or selves to a very high moral standard and believe it should be standard across your realm. I don’t think your standing ruler or rulers would be in support of tyrannical rule, since it sounds like there are a few monarchs in Equestria anyway.” “Yeah, I don’t think Princess Celestia would be a fan of making all the political decisions by herself. She made drastic changes when her sister rejoined her on the throne. She became a whole new pony when the two of them assumed the throne.” “Well then, sounds like a very well-functioning diarchy of sorts.” “It really is. When Princess Luna was still in the moon, Celestia alone just wasn’t enough. Equestria was in a very interesting time period. I moved to Ponyville the day that Princess Luna, as Nightmare Moon, broke free from her lunar prison. After we defeated Nightmare Moon and rescued Princess Luna, the two of them assuming the throne as co-rulers was the best thing to happen to Equestria. Now that Luna was back, she could govern the night and the dream realm again. Imagine having to raise the moon and the sun, govern the dream realm and rule an entire kingdom. She’d literally have no time to sleep. I have no idea how she did it for a thousand years.” “Hmm.” I respond. “I hate to add somber to somber, but let’s talk about the Fire.“ When both Twilights sit back, I go with the flow of traffic and continue. “The fire grew from a small alleyway fire to a catastrophic two-day blaze quickly due to the city built on wood, poor response from the fire department, and the third one: the prevailing conditions. The summer of 1871 was very dry. Embers from the blaze then got picked up by the wind by which the city earns its nickname and would start new fires. One fire didn’t grow out. Multiple small fires borne from the original fire converged. It took many years, but the city rebuilt itself and the image of the city endures, despite the modern almost undoing of it with prolific issues that have plagued the city since before even I was born. But again, that’s another story.” “Wow, Max. You know a lot about the city.” “Thank you Twily. That being said, I’ve been kind of rehearsing that speech. Some of it I know by heart, but the flag, I don’t have in memory. I always forget what the stars stand for.” “What about the rest of the flag? Why does it have two blue stripes?” “Each blue stripe represents the two bodies of water that are an integral part of the city. The top stripe represents Lake Michigan and the bottom stripe represents the Chicago River.” “Oh, okay!” “There are a few buildings I need/want to show you before we head for food.” “Okay.” “Are any of you hungry right now? Our reservation isn’t for another hour and a half. If you want something small to tie us over, I’ll see what I can do.” “You still want meat, Twily?” Twi asks her. “Sure?” “You’re okay with meat?” I butt in. “I’m a huge meat eater, so if you want to get some, we can.” “You like eating meat?” “Admittedly yes. I imagine that’s not exactly a welcome thing in Equestria, but I have to govern myself very closely. I have high blood pressure, so I just have to do my due diligence in my diet.” “I’ve had meat before, but not since the first time I visited this world.” “How many times have you been since without having meat then?” “Uhh, I actually don’t know. I’ve lost count.” “That’s okay. It sounds to me that when you’re in this world, you don’t mind eating meat. Do your friends know?” “Are you kidding?! They would go crazy if they found out.” “Well then,” I retract in embarrassment. “I’d’ve been surprised if you said yes anyway.” “Max,” Twi then says filling in for her, “I had said that deep dish pizza would be a real treat for her. If I may, we ought to include at least one pizza with a meat.” “Absolutely. When I would go to Lou’s with my family, we’d always order one with meat. However, now that you mention it, I think we should show you, Twily, some of the best meat available, for comparison purposes.” “Sure.” She responds with some excitement. “I know that I could never make this known in Equestria, but as long as I’m a human, I’m sure I can enjoy it. I don’t mind the taste. My only concern with eating meat is if I find it so delicious, I’ll either get my images of animals ruined or I get hooked on it. That’s why I have to watch the meat I eat.” “I understand completely. I hope that your impression of the animals in this world does not match that of animals in Equestria. Animals here are not completely sentient like ponies.” “Well, I would love to show you around Equestria sometime.” “I’d love to go. I’m very curious as to what I would be, since I imagine that I wouldn’t be limited to just being a pony. Could I be a whole ‘nother species when I cross realms?” “Maybe. And whatever species you are, you’ll be welcome. Not by all though, as we just discussed, but you’ll have the Princess of Friendship on your side.” “Thank you, I appreciate that.” “Are we ready for the last few points of interest before we head for dinner?” “I am!” Twi says. The remaining two follow suit, so I resume docent mode when we leave LSD down by Grant Park. “On your right, the large park right there is Grant Park. Also joined to it is Millennium Park. This area is where many of Chicago’s festivals take place, including Taste of Chicago, Lollapalooza, and the Chicago Air & Water show. The area is also home to Buckingham Fountain and Cloud Gate, otherwise known as the Bean. I imagine you have similar art in Equestria, only based on my shallowly anchored assumptions. Even so, as a proud Chicagoan I cannot do a tour without at least mentioning them.” I pause as we leave most of Chicago behind, and in the process, I decide to abandon MSI and save it for a later visit. When we stop at another light, I continue. “On your left is Soldier Field and Museum Campus. Soldier Field is the home of the Chicago Bears of the National Football League, an equally American but arguably polar opposite sport in terms of gameplay. Unlike baseball, the offense initiates play. The objective is to travel from end zone to end zone, the goal line distance is 100 yards. How much do you know about football, Twily?” “A bit. I’ve dipped into a little bit of everything, so I’m familiar with the concept. Seems like a scary game to play, even with all that padding.” “Not really. I mean, I guess that’s why many Americans enjoy it. It’s kind of a demolition derby of sorts, but I personally don’t get too involved in, well, sports as a whole. At least, when I do, I would much rather be playing.” “Sure.” Just as the light turns green, I start talking about Museum Campus. “Chicago has four major museums in its metropolitan area; 3 of them are located in Museum Campus. The Field Museum of Natural History is a popular hit for many. Home to Maximiliáno and formerly Sue, both of whom were famously dug up as fully intact, or more accurately, complete, Tyrannosaurus Rex skeletons. If you like earth and earthy stuff, that would be your favorite place. If underwater life is your cup of tea, I would suggest Shedd Aquarium. Home to Spot, a killer whale I actually helped rescue from poachers, very much a fan favorite, especially for me, because my daughter is his trainer. When I took this world’s crew here back in our holiday season, I had discovered my daughter Melody had been training Spot. You can imagine I was beyond proud. Anyway, that aside, um, Shedd is the best place to visit if Your Heart Is In Two Places, that being Under The Sea.” Before I can say anything else, all three passengers laugh. “Wow, Max!” Twi says. “Was that intentional?” “No, but yes in retrospect.” “Yer’ quick, sugar cube!” Applejack adds. “Nice one!” Twily though clearly enjoying herself remains reserved. “Lastly, and I know Twi can vouch for me on this, is Adler Planetarium. Famous for its sculpture Man Enters The Cosmos, which is actually a sundial, Adler is very much the place for the person with eyes pointed skyward. Life beyond our planet and pretty much the rest of the known universe is always the center. Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to visit any of these places, but if you’re ever on this side, I’m sure you’d enjoy it. Someone Like You I Can Only Imagine has a considerable thirst for knowledge, so take advantage if and when you can. You into architecture?” “Eh, not really?” “Okay. I don’t know how bad traffic really is, since we’re still about an hour from rush, so if you’re not into the buildings, we can just make our way to the restaurant for dinner. Although, let me make a call. I wanna see if on the off chance it’s available.” Quickly pulling up CarPlay and launching my contacts book, I call the Steakhouse. As it rings, I wait with bated breath to see if someone will pick up. 3.14z^2a 3.14“Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse.” “Hi, is there a possibility of placing a to-go order?” “Sure! When will you be picking up?” “As soon as possible.” “That’ll be in about 45 minutes then.” “No problem.” “What can I get you?” “Can we get 2 Delmonico steaks? One Medium, one Rare.” “Okay, anything else?” “Yes, an Italian Beef. And that’ll be it.” “Okay, so I have 2 Delmonico, one medium, one rare, and an Italian Beef.” “That’s all correct.” “Perfect! We’ll get those going for you, can I call you when they’re ready?” “Yes, please do!” “Sounds good.” “Thank you so much.” “My pleasure. Talk to you soon.” “Will do. Bye.” “Bye.” “Sweet. I have 2 steaks and an Italian Beef on the way. More meat for you to try, Twily.” “Yay.” She responds with some hesitance. “Do you not like meat after all?” “I do. It’s just I guess I get nervous when I get it. Guilty conscience I guess.” “I can understand that. If you don’t want them, it’s totally okay.” “No, no. I appreciate you ordering them. What sets those meats apart from the meat we can get on pizza?” “For starters, the animal. Steak and beef are bovine, and sausage unless otherwise specified is usually porcine.” “Do you guys eat horse?” “Not here in America. Horse meat is a delicacy in a few places around the world however.” I say nervously. “Usually though, if a horse is close to the end of its life but still safe for consumption, then they’ll slaughter it and prepare the meat.” The Princess’ eyes go big as dinner plates as I quickly try to recover with, “like I said though, consumption of equine products is virtually illegal here in the States. Sorry.” “No. It’s fine. It’s just difficult for me to make the distinction between the ponies of my world and the ponies of your world.” “Sure. But I haven’t tried horse meat, though I hear mixed reviews about it.” “Would you try it?” “Sure? To say I did mostly. I doubt I would like it.” “See, this is why it’s difficult for me to come to this world.” “That’s funny, at least for someone like me. It’s impossible for me to go full vegetarian because if I did, my sodium consumption would go up so much that it would be more hazardous to my health than just eating meat.” “That’s ironic and sad at the same time.” Before I can say anything else, I slow down for normal traffic, but quickly slam on the brakes when a gutsy one squeezes between me and the car in front, leaving no room between us. “Come on, man! You have at least 2 car lengths in front of you, and you still do me dirty like that?” I respond stoically, knowing I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was in his situation. “Calm down, sugar cube.” Applejack says, sensing a rise in my blood pressure. “I am. I mean that in a funny way, since of all things, he cuts me off rather than wait for me to give him the space.” “Fair enough.” “Why does driving have to be stressful?” Twi adds from the backseat. “Because of the people who drive like they don’t want anybody within 10 yards of them. Or the people who drive like they own the road.” “Sounds about right.” Twi responds. “Kind of a given. Even so, I hate people that feel entitled. Even though I’m guilty of it too.” “I don’t know about that.” Applejack responds. “Yer’ not the type to treat people as less than.” “I have my moments. I don’t think you know me as well as you think.” “Max, don’t lie to ‘yerself. Yer’ a good man.” “Stop it, you’ll over-inflate my ego.” “Yer’ not Rainbow Dash, you can take a compliment!” AJ snaps back. “Damn, AJ. You got a beef with Dash or somethin’?” “Believe me,” Twi responds, “you don’t know the half of it.” “I can imagine.” I say as I set course back towards Dan Ryan. “Okay. Looks like we’ll have just enough time to pick up the steaks before we head to Lou’s. Just in case, can either Applejack or Twi be prepared to move the truck?” “Where should we move it?” “You might just have to move it as far as the next few blocks up Michigan. Or try and find another street and park wherever you can.” “I can do it!” AJ responds. “So can I!” Twi adds. “I’ll let you two fight over it. It doesn’t really matter who does it.” As we head for the city, I watch the weather, which currently sits at a condition I can only describe as “Seattle happy.” That is to say, low-to-mid level clouds, depressing to a purebred Californian, but for me it’s perfect. Keeps some warmth trapped but also cold enough to not be terribly uncomfortable. Anyway, moving swiftly onto Dan Ryan, the EcoBoost V6 shouts as I flick a paddle to activate manual mode. I max out at 5000 revs give or take through the next few gears, resuming automatic mode when we reach a comfortable highway speed of… 55. After I jump off the interstate, I catch Michigan as far south as sensible so that when we reach the steakhouse, I can easily find a place to stop. Unfortunately, all the space in front of it is occupied with taxis and luxury ride shares, so I ask who’s gonna take control. Twi then takes off her belt, I quickly spring into action, putting her in park and playing Chinese fire drill so I can run in and pick up the food. Soon after I get out, the light turns green. I then head for the hostess desk inside a hotel lobby, greeted by a host. “Good evening. For how many?” He asks. “Actually, I’m picking up a to go order for Max.” “Oh! Yes, yes. Um, unfortunately, we’re still waiting on your Italian Beef. It should be ready shortly.” “No problem. I’ll wait.” “Thank you. Sorry about that.” “No trouble at all.” As I play the waiting game, three parties, two of whom are definitely couples in for a hot date night, get seated. I smile happily as I text AJ asking where they are. “We made a right on Ohio.” “Perfect.” “Here you are, sir. Sorry about the wait.” “It’s no trouble.” I say as I present him my card for payment. To alleviate some of his troubles, I tip a light 10%. “Thank you, sir! Have a good evening!” “Thank you, you too!” When I exit onto Michigan, the traffic hasn’t gotten any better, but as soon as I set foot outside, I feel a couple of raindrops. “Oh no. That can’t be good.” I whisper to myself as I head for Ohio. I then text both Twi and AJ, “on the way back.” When I reach the truck, Twi returns to the back seat and takes the food. The smell of the steak is so pungent that I’m salivating heavily. “Alright. Feel free to dig into those, but please save some room for pizza. Those meats are for later, if any of you want some leftovers after the fact.” “Then why did ya’ order them now?” AJ asks. “Because I don’t want to have to go back into the city. This way, when we head back to my airport, I don’t have to take a big detour.” “Fair enough, but in all honesty, it’d be worth the detour.” “Trust me. I’ve eaten there on Valentine’s Day. It’s really not.” “Alright. I’ll take ‘yer word for it.” “Is there silverware in here?” Twi asks. “Should be. Don’t think too much about a knife. The steaks cut like butter.” “Ooh!” Twily says as she pulls open one of the steaks. “Is that the medium or the rare?” “Let me cut into it.” Twi says taking the freshly cooked steak from her counterpart. “That’s definitely rare.” “Are you a fan of red meat, Twily?” I ask. “I don’t know?” “Probably best not to give her that one, Twi. I don’t think she’ll be able to stomach the red.” “How about the sandwich?” “You can dig into that if you want.” One traffic light short of the interstate, we wait for quite a while. I admire the long line of inbound traffic to the city as I watch the Twilights dig in. When the Princess takes her first bite of medium steak, I smile out of the corners of my mouth as she savors the taste. “This doesn’t taste like the meat I know and love.” “That’s because this isn’t bacon.” Twi responds. “Bacon is porcine. This is bovine.” “Oh. Okay.” She responds still chewing on her piece. “Does the Italian Beef have peppers, by the way? They didn’t ask whether I wanted hot or sweet.” “No.” “Okay. It’s no problem. Do you like spice, Twily?” “Spice, but not spicy, if you take my meaning.” “Absolutely. I like spice, but when heat overpowers the flavor, it’s not good.” “Exactly! Some Equestrian cuisine isn’t known for its spice, and others definitely are, but overall, it’s not the most flavorful either. We make do with what we have.” “Sure. Wow! This is one long red.” “Yer’ tellin’ me! We’ve been sitting here forever.” Just then, the light changes, and the first cars in line punch the throttle. “Are the express lanes open?” I ask as I peer to check the signage. “EXPRESS LANES: OPEN” “Sweet!” I exclaim as I let some others pass so I can squeeze in on that side. Jumping in the express lanes with almost everyone else in the lane, I put my foot down, flick a paddle, and turn on the radar detector. After I get comfortable at a weaving 75, I check to make sure the Twilights have stopped eating. “Save some room for pizza, now.” “Don’t worry.” Twi says. “I told her about deep dish. She also knows you have a soft spot for the stuff.” “Indeed I do. If you like pizza, you might love Chicago style deep dish.” “Sounds interesting.” “Usually, I like to stick to 3 basic types: Cheese, The Lou, which is tomatoes and spinach, and if you’re feeling meaty, then we can get a Malnati Chicago Classic, which is cheese and sausage. And, if I remember correctly, Lou’s is different from the other Chicago pizzas by using turkey sausage rather than pork, which I always appreciate.” “You have something against turkeys?” “No. I prefer turkey sausage because it keeps my arteries clear. Pork is not the best of meats because it’s fatty. That being said, pork and porcine products are favored because they’re cheap. Why is porcine cheap? I imagine it’s like this in Equestria too: raising other livestock, especially for meat, is really expensive. They need a lot of food and water, see? Hence, most people prefer porcine meat because it’s cheaper and because it’s fattier, tastier too.” “And bacon is…” “Porcine, usually. There are substitutes available however. Turkey, vegetarian, and even beef, but that’s very difficult to find.” “Hmm. Well, I still look forward to this pizza.” “Good, because… shit!” I say slamming on the brakes. “Fucking hell,” I add as a faster and more aggressive driver, also in a truck, threads a gap between me in the left lane and a slower car in the right lane. Worse still, the rain while light has wet the road enough to cause mild unhooking of my tires. As the offending vehicle slides in about 2 inches from my bumper, hitting the brakes so abruptly causes the backend to kick out, requiring a quarter turn of the steering wheel to counteract. The T/C and ESC lights flash as I punch the throttle to get it to correct itself and AWD engages indicated by some clunking from the drivetrain. When the back returns to normal and the “yaw” corrects itself, I put the hazards on for a few seconds, check that all warning lights are gone and that all is normal at the controls. When I flip the hazards off, I breathe a sigh of relief as AJ and Twi give me terrified looks while Twily is hyperventilating. “Twilight? Twily? It’s okay. We’re fine. Everything is good.” I say as Twi calms her down. “Why didn’t‘ya just slow down and let him in?” AJ asks me angrily. “I did.” “Don’t lie ta’ me! You didn’t brake until ya’ had to!” “I took my foot off the throttle! The speedo dropped by 5!“ “Would you two stop?!” Twi interjects. “Why do you have to fight over something that already happened?” Twily adds. “We could’ve been in a nasty accident! That was easily preventable, but he had to stand his ground and put us all in danger!” “I gave him plenty of space! What did you want me to do?” “Slow down and live! Is that so hard?!” “Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you.” “Ya’ know what? Forget it. I’m done.” “Okay.” I say as I slide over a lane and check for other cars. As soon as the next chance to leave the express lanes comes up, I slide out in prep for an early shift towards Edens. As soon as I can, I slide over to the right lane and continuously monitor the speedo, debating whether I want to drop it all at once or let it bleed off. However, that argument is quickly shut down when I tell myself that if I take the former approach, history might repeat itself with even worse consequences. As soon as I find a clearing, I wait until we pass the next speed limit sign. In about 2000 feet, we pass one: “SPEED LIMIT 55”. Immediately, I take my foot off the throttle and let the groundspeed bleed off to the speed limit. On the way down, I watch as a group going at least a mile a minute pass us. I’m nervous as fuck for doing this because I have bad experiences of being the slowest on the interstate as a passenger, but I’m also trying to prove a point. For The First Time In Forever, I use the cruise control to hold 55. As we get passed by many a car, I wait for the rest of them to notice. “Uh, Max?” Twi asks. “What’s going on?” I don’t answer, instead focusing on the road. “Max?” “Max??” Twi calls again. “Yeah?” “Is there a reason you’ve slowed down to 24.5 meters per second?” “The speed limit is 90 kph.” “But everyone else is going at least 60!” AJ adds. “You wanted to slow down and live. We’re going the speed limit, so in actuality, I’m not going too fast or too slow.” “Okay, Goldilocks, ye’ve proved yer’ point. Let’s get goin’! I’m hankerin’ for some of that pizza!” “Wow. Applejack likes deep dish. Duly noted.” “Of course! Load it up with some sausage, tomatoes, and a heapin’ helpin’ of cheese, it’s the best!” “Don’t forget about the butter crust. That’s what sets Lou’s apart from the others.” “Whoo-ee!” Applejack exclaims. “Let’s get ‘ta eatin’! I’m starving!” “You didn’t have the steaks or the Italian Beef?” “Of course not! I’m here for pizza!” “Says the one who upon meeting me in Arkansas, asked if I was “gonna woo you with a fancy steak dinner.” Be glad I’m not that kind of person.” “Ha! Yeah, otherwise I might actually have ‘ta oblige you.” “And where’s the fun in that?” “EGG-xactly!” “Besides, it may be Valentines Day, whatever the equivalent is in Equestria, but with me you’re lucky. The more the merrier. Especially because my wife can’t make it this year.” “Aww!” Twily says. “Where is your special somepo… somebody?” “She’s working tonight. She runs a helicopter tour business in Hawaii, and a couple on their honeymoon requested her specifically to do a personal tour. I also happen to know the happy couple. One of my buddies from Uni.” “Cool! That’s too bad your wife decided to take work over her husband.” “All Good. She wants a divorce anyway, so the last thing I am is surprised.” “WHAT?! DIVORCE??!!! What happened???” “To be honest, I couldn’t tell you. I’m still trying to figure it out. But enough about me. I don’t want to bring you down.” I say as I reengage manual mode to pick up speed. Sliding over and pacing back up to 70 now that we’re outside of the city, we head for Lou Malnati’s. Parked across the street at the bank, as the restaurant’s small parking lot is full, the four of us head in and seek some shelter from the quickly deteriorating weather situation outside. Last the TAF predicted, a light winter storm was expected to traverse the region, predicting some -SN or FZRA. Nevertheless, I soon get giddy as I preorder the pizzas for dinner. All small, one Malnati Chicago Classic, one Cheese, and The Lou. Basically the entire lineup of non-BYO pies, we have all the bases covered with Lou’s lean sausage as the meat of choice, in fact made of lean pork and not turkey as I originally thought. Anyway, we’re soon seated and drinks ordered. Water all around, plus coffee for Twi and I. After I take my first sips of coffee, I take a deep breath and exhale serenely, now that we’re seated for dinner. “Alright, the pizzas have been preordered to reduce our wait time. If you want something else besides pizza like bruschetta or garlic cheese bread, we can order that now.” “Ooh! Garlic cheese bread!” Twi drools. “And the bruschetta.” I add. “I have a weakness for tomatoes, basil and cheese together.” “Bruschetta, caprese, and margarita pizzas must be impossible to resist then.” “Actually, just the former two.” “Alright!” Our waiter says after delivering our drinks, “did we want to order any appetizers? Bruschetta, garlic cheese bread?” “Actually, those two please!” “Perfect! I’ll get those going for you!” “Thank you!” “Let’s pace ourselves here.” Applejack says. “We have the pizzas coming, the stuff in the car, and now this?” “Tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella. How can you say no? Besides, I ordered smalls. One slice of each apiece.” “That’s still 3 pieces of pizza, sugar cube. That’s an awful lotta food.” “Trust me, if you’re hungry, this’ll be enough. Plus, with the steaks, we can split those evenly.” “Oh alright…” AJ responds with doubt. “Besides, if there’re leftovers, it’ll be good for you. Twily can have some more meat before you return to Equestria. Which, by the way, when do you leave?” “Either tomorrow or the day after. The portal can be opened at any time, but it can be a pain to reopen.” “Oh?” “Yeah. It’s a long story.” “Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, I’d love to take a trip. I can’t say that enough.” “Of course. Like I said in the car, you’ll be welcome, no matter your species.” “Thank you, I appreciate that. Just one other question.” Before I can ask it, our appetizers arrive. I go straight for the obvious, while the other three practically salivate at the warm, steamy, melty garlic cheese bread. This batch is quite pungent, as I can smell the essence of garlic almost enough to say a scent bomb went off. Nevertheless, that one goes quickly, but Twily decides to have some of mine as well, as the scent of the fresh vegetables I imagine is a nice reminder of home. I eat about half the plate and give the rest to the Princess of Friendship. I don’t even touch the garlic cheese bread, which is fine by me. When those dishes get cleared, I enjoy some more coffee and listen away as the other three start talking about things. I then check my phone and find a few messages via text, social media, and email. No outstanding circumstances to worry about, I put my phone away just as the pizzas arrive. Each pie is cut into fourths, so each of us gets a plate with one slice of each on it. “Alright! Friendly reminder that one slice is cheese, one slice is tomatoes, mushrooms and spinach; and the third is sausage.” Since all the slices are perfectly distributed, all 3 pizza dishes are taken away, leaving us with a pretty clear table, which works out nicely, because at the risk of sounding obvious, I’m never comfortable at a crowded table. “Mmm!” Twily says as she bites into her sausage. “I love this!” “Is it worth coming over to this world?” “It’s not bacon, and it doesn’t really taste as good, but this pizza is delicious!” She says between bites. “I’d love to bring my friends over here if and when we all have the time!” “You think any of them would be resistant to the concept of omnivorism?” I ask semi-rhetorically. “My Fluttershy would likely be devastated.” “I can imagine. This world’s Fluttershy tries to avoid eating meat but isn’t uncomfortable eating it.” “Sure. I doubt that any of them could get past the fact that animals here are not the same as they are in Equestria.” “I mean there’re some though.” Twi says. “The traditionally domesticated animals like cats and dogs.” “Fair enough. I would imagine though that even despite that, your friends, Twily, would have a hard time making that dissociation.” “Probably. They’d likely enjoy it here though.” “It’s not a bad place, but I’ve only lived in this world, so…” “I won’t argue.” Twily responds as she continues to eat. Author's Note Bonus points if you can decipher the chapter title. Calculating the Volume of a CylinderWhile I did rack up an appetite, for some reason the pizza doesn’t seem to fill me up like the other three. Applejack especially shows a definite appreciation at being able to have Chicago style pizza, which she made clear was one of her favorites at our first holiday gathering. Since she chose to sit next to me, I lean over and whisper, “You want any more of mine?” “Uh, I’ll take your sausage.” “Phrasing!” Twi exclaims from the end of the table. “S’all good, AJ.” I say as I slide my slice onto her plate. “Don’t know why, just not getting that satisfaction of eating it. Which is weird, because I’ve never not enjoyed eating Chicago deep dish, especially Lou’s.” “You okay? Nothing ailin’ ya, right?” “No. I’m not sick and I don’t feel sick. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.” “Well,” Twi begins hypothesizing, “it could be that you’re suffering from excessive sugar intake.” “I don’t like drinking a lot of soda. I try to only drink caffeinated sodas when I’m on long trips that usually include red eyes. And even then I’ll have energy drinks or coffee or tea instead.“ “Do you drink a lot of energy drinks?” “No. Usually less than 5 a year.” “Okay… how about your diet overall?” “I try to keep myself to 1,200 calories a day. Normally I…” “Wait a minute!” AJ shouts. “1,200?! Are you serious?” “Yeah. I trained myself to keep my counts down because my mouth is bigger than my stomach. Plus, it’s a remnant from when I was younger. My dad had a stroke at 50. I was 23 at the time. 8 days he was in hospital, and for 7 of those days I got fat shamed by almost all of my relatives. Ever since then, I’ve severely limited my intake just because I got so self-conscious.” “Some family ye’ had there, sugar cube.” Applejack responds. “They’ve disowned ‘ya, they fat shamed ‘ya, they refused ta’ listen t’ya…” “Your family disowned you?” Twily says with a concerned look. “They did.” I respond with a sad smile, “it was years ago though. I’d happily tell you the story, but not here. Next time though.” “I’m really sorry you had to endure that.” “There’s no need to apologize. I saw it coming a mile away, and I knew that it was inevitable. Can we change the subject? I don’t want to depress you.” “Maybe you have a tapeworm?” Twi then says quickly. “Twilight!” Applejack exclaims. I only let out a few hearty chuckles. “Ha! You would know if I had a tapeworm.” “Not really.” Twi responds shyly. “You’re skinny enough as it is.“ “And proud of it. 6’5” and 142 lbs. A nice change from when I used to be fat.” “And how big were ‘ya then?” AJ asks between bites. “265. I got a lap band a few years before I met my daughter’s mother. Bottomed out at 128 over that time. I looked like an abandoned dog.” “Not much of a change from now.” Twi responds rolling her eyes. “Thank you, I take that as a compliment!” “Seriously, how have you not died yet?” “I don’t know. The whole reason I got the lap band was to drop my weight to help with my blood pressure. I lost all that weight but my blood pressure is still high. Easier to manage, but still high.” “Sorry to say,” Twi butts in, “but you don’t look good. Every time I see you, I wonder how you stay so thin.” “I just told you. 1,200 calories a day, I read labels, minimize my cholesterol, sugar, and sodium intake, limit my intake times, and I drink a lot of water. Can we please talk about something else?” “Ok. Sorry.” “It’s fine. I’d just rather not talk about it here. And besides, I weigh less than Rosalina.” “I know.” Thankful we averted a crisis, AJ takes the slice she wants, so I finish my coffee. Slowly, as the other three enjoy their pizzas, me keeping mostly to myself, I suddenly find a text from my group chats pop up. “Hey sis,” my cousin says, “do you know when our Hawaii trip is and where are we going?” Not 2 minutes later does the response comes, “it’s in 2 weeks. We’re going to Honolulu so we can see Auntie’s condo, stay there a week then spend another week on Maui.” “Sweet.” “You know, I’ve always wondered what would happen if both our families would join us. I kind of miss them.” “Yeah, it’d be nice to have the 5 of us on vacation.” “5?” “Yeah, you, me, and the other 3 cousins.” “What are you talking about? We only ever had 2 other cousins.” I chuckle slightly, knowing that my brother and sister are the only cousins they have now, sorry, ever had. “What’s so funny, sugar cube?” “Oh, nothing. Just a funny text conversation.” “How are we doing?” Our waiter asks for the third time since the pizzas arrived. “Need any more refills? Coffee? Water?” “Water, please.” I ask handing him my glass. A few seconds later, my phone buzzes. “You know we did have a third cousin, right?” “Would you stop?! You know just as well as I do that we weren’t given a choice, and we stick with family no matter what. He didn’t. It was his choice to do what he did. He did it to himself. As far as we’re concerned, we only have two cousins. End of story.” “Gee whiz.” I audibly whisper. “If you want to stick with your family, you may as well cut all ties.” “What’s that now?” Twily asks curiously. “Just a conversation about a business dealing. They don’t know if they want to discontinue a joint venture because the profit margin is starting to narrow, even though sales are really high, it’s just getting too expensive to work together.” “That’s interesting.” Twi says. “Normally a joint venture is created to bring costs down. How would this joint venture increase costs?” “Your guess is as good as mine.” “Were we interested in dessert tonight?” Our waiter then asks after returning with my water. “I’m alright.” I say, with the other three hesitating slightly before concurring. “No problem. I’ll get your bill ready.” “Thank you!” I finish my last cup of coffee by popping some pills for stomach pain, but those don’t go unnoticed. “What was that you just took?” Applejack asks worriedly. “Just some Advil. I need it for my stomach. It’s been uneasy these past few days.” “You okay?” “Yeah. Probably had some food gone past its best-by date.” “What could that be? You never eat.” “Yeah I do.” I say gesturing towards the bill. “Ye’ take laxatives or somethin’?” “Did.” “I don’t know how you do it.” “Believe me, if I knew, I’d tell you. Speaking of, I can’t help but feel that most of the conversation tonight was mostly about me.” “That’s because you were the one who showed us the city.” “I mean, I wanted to talk about you, but all we seemed to do was talk about me.” “Well, if I’m honest,” AJ begins, “there was a bit where it kinda did seem that way, but I don’t got nothin’ to say on the matter.” “Max, there were times you did make it a lot about yourself, but for good reason. I can see you have a special connection to Chicago, and you couldn’t have done a better job at showing it today.” Twi adds. “Well, thank you. I was only born here, but I always considered Chicago home. I’m glad I can show some hometown pride, even though I can’t even call Chicago home, so to speak.” “Don’t you own like 3 places here?” “6 actually. Spire, Hancock, my first house, my mother’s first house, my mother’s first home, an apartment actually located on LSD; and the airport.” “You really do love this city.” Twi says rolling her eyes. “More than I should, my obsession is unhealthy.” I respond very matter of fact. “You don’t have an unhealthy obsession, you’re just proud.” Applejack reassures me. “I appreciate that, but it’s unfortunately true. I wish I could say the same shows with Rosalina. I do love her with all my heart, but I also know that no matter how hard I fight, this is what she wants.” “Max,” Twi says stopping me as quick as she can, “I know that this is your first Valentine’s Day without Rosalina, and I understand it would be difficult for you. Applejack told me everything, and it worked out nicely too. I brought Twily over so she could experience a parallel holiday. In fact, knowing what you were going through, I was trying to show that Valentine’s Day is not exclusively romantic. It was Applejack’s idea to invite me, and I was absolutely thrilled to be able to bring Twily because of how great a friend you were! Max, I know you hate being the center of attention, but would love to see your efforts put a smile on somebody’s face without getting recognized for it! Guess what? You did just that!” Shocked by her sudden assertion, I say, “Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way.” Then, sudden realization hits me a fraction of a second later. “It’s getting late, by the way. We should go so you don’t get back to Indianapolis too late.” “Oh, yeah. Thank you for your consideration.” After we climb in and I get the heater running, a quick check reveals only one area of slow traffic and an OAT of 31°, surprisingly warm for Chicago in the middle of February. Nevertheless, I make for Peotone at a manageable speed. Enough to pass most of the traffic but avoidable by police radar, I then hit the brakes at Jane Byrne, our one slow spot. Most of the ride home is silent, but I notice Twily staring at the city skyline, which I smile at. When the city is no longer visible, I pick up speed slightly to make up for lost time. In time to beat an incoming rain system, I reach the airport and immediately get the airplane warmed up and ready. After fetching the equipment and checking fluid levels, I spray Type I deicing fluid on the wings. This is a high temperature and high pressure fluid used to clear away already-accumulated ice. Right before pushback, I’ll apply Type IV fluid on the wings and fuselage. This type of fluid forms a relatively thick film layer on the wing, melting accumulated ice and preventing further accumulation, and shears off above 100 knots, if it doesn’t wear off before then. I turn on all the cabin lights and check for any anomalies. Applejack follows behind me and decides to jump in the right seat. When I complete the interior inspection, I ask if she wants to sit in the cabin. Replying no, I turn off all the cabin lights and turn on all the lights in the cockpit. Time for the aircraft lights check. Beacon, strobes, nav, taxi, landing, wing/pulse, and panel lights all check, nothing inoperative. Leaving the beacon and nav lights on, I have Applejack come out so we can say goodbye to the Twilights. “Well Twi, it was a lot of fun. I’m so glad you were able to come, and thank you for introducing me to Twily.” “Aw shucks. Come by and visit me when you can.” “I’d like that.” “Twily. It was very lovely to meet you. I do apologize for seeming not myself, but I promise you’ll get to meet more of the real me as we continue to get to know each other. If that’s okay with you.” Blushing slightly, Twily responds with, “I’m grateful for the opportunity to come. I’m really glad I met you. I enjoy making friends and meeting new people, and you’re no exception.” “Can I get a hug?” “Absolutely.” Both Twilights say as we all hug. “Come on, Applejack!” Twi calls. “Group hug!” “Oh alright!” AJ responds playfully. “Have a safe journey.” I say letting the other three go. “Please be careful on the way back, and text me when you reach home. I’ll probably be airborne when you do, so if you don’t mind, include a time stamp?” “Will do!” Twi responds with another hug. “I hope to see you soon, Twily.” I say with an individual hug to her. “It’s a pleasure meeting you!” “Me too! Hopefully I can bring my other friends next time!” “I’d like that!” “Bye!” The two of them call simultaneously as her engine starts. The sound of her V8 starting up cold is quite an exciting one as the signature idle echoes across the ramp as I head back to the airplane. Just as I climb up the jetway, she begins her journey home, so I send her a text. “Hey, if you need petrol, head to my gas pumps. Free of charge.” “Yes please, thank you!” Once I get settled, I tell Applejack, “we’re gonna be here for at least a half hour. I have to deice the airplane before we get going.” “Anythin’ I can do to help?” “Uh, I don’t think so.” “Okay.” “Thank you though.” She smiles as I submit my flight plan for filing. Right after that, I tune the airport’s ATIS to get some weather information. “Gusty Garden Airport information India, 0214Z. Wind 100 at 5, visibility 9, light freezing rain. Sky condition: few clouds at 2,500, broken 3,500, overcast 3,900. Temperature -1, dew point 1, altimeter 29.91. Advisory: all runways restricted access, prior permission required. Advise on initial contact, you have information India.” After I listen for another loop, I double check what I have written down. “KSMG, I, 0214Z, 100/5 9SM -FZRA, FEW025 BKN035 OVC039, -1/1 A2991.” “Alright. Weather’s copied. I’ll check again after I apply the fluid. Get comfortable AJ, this might take a while.” She gives me a thumbs up as I prepare to add Type IV. Laying it all on nice and slow, I watch as the film starts to take shape on the wing, forming a semi-gelatinous cover that absorbs the light rain crystals that come into contact with it. The green dye starts to show indicating it is Type IV fluid. Across the entire wing and the leading edge of my namesake, I quickly drive over to the other side and repeat the process. When I return to the cockpit, we’re 20 minutes past our planned departure, so I get going quickly. A double run of the checklist confirms all aboard. Cargo secure before I checked the lights, all doors armed and checked. I give AJ a passenger brief then retract the jetway, then start the electric Tug, both via Bluetooth. I initiate the pushback with a little bit of wheel slip. Fortunately, it gains traction nicely not too much later, and I push back and start her up. “Chicago departure, Boeing 265AK, IFR to Fort Smith.” “Boeing 265AK, Chicago departure. Full route clearance available, advise when ready to copy.” “Stand by, 265AK.” “Let’s get to the runway.” “You want me to write stuff down fer’ ya?” “You can try. Let me pull up my map. You can try and find the points.” “Okay?” “You know what?” I ask as I peer out my window, “go ahead and find points on the map as they give them to us. We’re clear of the terminal ramp, so I can just copy it here.” I finish as I stop the airplane after moving just clear of the terminal ramp. Control surfaces check. Trim set, flaps 5 for takeoff. “Go ahead and call them. The push to talk is that red button right by the thumb, and our call sign is ‘Boeing 2-6-5-Alpha-Kilo.’” “Okay…” “Boeing 265AK, r…ready.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to Fort Smith Airport via CARYN ARLYN STL HESTN ZALDA CASKS IZOVU. On departure, maintain 10,000. Expect FL300 10 minutes after departure. Departure this frequency, squawk 2223.” “I’ll take it, Applejack.” “Cleared to Fort Smith via CARYN, ARLYN, St. Louis, HESTN, ZALDA, CASKS, IZOVU, 10,000 on departure, expect FL300 10 minutes after departure, departure 124.55, squawk 2233, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, squawk 2223, all else correct. Clearance void 30 minutes from now.” “2223, void in 30 minutes, 265AK. Talk to you on the go.” Quickly, we taxi out to runway 11. Short of the runway, I look both ways, key the mic 5 times to turn on the runway lights, then turn on all the aircraft lights. Thrust set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green. 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Flaps up. Pizza Status: Got“Chicago departure, Boeing 265AK, off Gusty Garden, 2,000 climbing 8,000.” “Boeing 265AK, Chicago Departure, radar contact 1 mile south of Gusty Garden 2,400. Turn left direct CARYN, climb and maintain 8,000.” “Position checks, climb and maintain 8,000, left direct CARYN, 265AK.” As we cross the delimitation zone of 10,000, I set climb power and let the airplane fly itself. As I closely monitor the situation, I wait for performance numbers to stabilize before I tell Applejack, “Alright, we’re just a few minutes from cruising. 45 minutes to Fort Smith.” “Nice.” She yawns. “I know this is probably the worst time and place for me to pry, but can we talk about my last night on the farm?” “Sure? I mean, you laid everything out that you needed to. And I have been thinking about it.” “Well, if I may, I don’t want to sound too repetitive, but I really do like you, Applejack. I couldn’t bear not to tell you.” “Why? You could’ve told me that any other time.” “Except now.” “Well, obviously. I know Twi’s got a thing for you though.” “Well, that’s because we started bonding over the fact that we chose careers that were not in any way motivated by money. I’m sure you can imagine.” “Actually, yea’. Cliche as it sounds, I really can’t see myself anywhere else than on the farm.” “As I couldn’t see myself stuck in a career that even with a relatively high pay grade I wouldn’t enjoy. I would probably do the dentist thing.” “Stop.” “What? I wasn’t going anywhere with that.” “I know, but I always stop ‘ya because I care. I would hate to hear the news of someone I care about killin’ themselves.” “I’m sorry, speaking to someone who lost both her parents at a very young age, especially to whom you were very close.” “Hey, I have my challenges, you have yer’s. I couldn’t imagine hearing Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, or Big Mac tell me that I was no longer an Apple. Trust me, I’ve had nightmares about that, especially for the reason why.” “I can imagine.” “Now that it’s just us, would you mind sharing some more details on your disownment?” “I don’t mind, but there really isn’t much of a story to tell. The full story will take more than an hour in the air, and that’s before sterile cockpit. I’ll promise to tell you though, the next time it’s just us.” I say offering my hand. “Alright sugar cube!” She says shaking on the deal. “You have my word, but on the condition it’s just us. You’re the only one I trust to tell the whole story to without too much fanfare.” When she releases my hand, I add, “I’m sure you know. Pinkie Pie would bum out and probably start crying. Rainbow Dash would tell me to shrug it off and move on, Fluttershy wouldn’t make it halfway without crying, Twi would pick apart the argument and probably find fault on my part, Sunset would go into detail explaining the psychology behind the family’s decision to disown me, and Rarity would find ways to distract me from telling it.” “Unfortunately, I do have to agree with ‘ya on that, except Twi. She’d state it as fact, but she’d still feel for you.” “Right. I’m not saying she wouldn’t, but she would be very objective. And I like that about her.” “So do I, sugar cube.” “Glad we’re both on the same page. Now that it’s just you and me, are you comfortable talking about my last night on the farm?” “Wha’cha wanna talk about?” “C’mon Applejack. You already know.” “Oh, that.” “All I want is for you to be honest with me. I don’t care what you say as long as you’re honest.” There is a long pause. I’ll take the word that Applejack though she has dated in the past isn’t good with romantic feelings. I always knew that. Even so, I butt in again to break the silence, “Well, Applejack?” “I know I said I’d been thinking about it often, but I never really gave it much more thought. I have to think about it.” “Boeing 265AK, descend and maintain 3,000, slow to 160 knots, proceed direct IZOVU, cleared RNAV GPS runway 26 approach. Contact Fort Smith Tower on 118.3.” “3,000, 160 knots, direct IZOVU, cleared RNAV GPS 26, over to tower, thanks for the help, Boeing 265AK.” Enter sterile cockpit, still no response from Applejack. “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, out of 6,500 descending 3,000, direct IZOVU, RNAV GPS 26 approach.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. Additional traffic inbound same approach a CRJ-200. Proceed straight-in on the approach. Report final approach fix inbound.” “Straight-in, report HOLGO inbound, Boeing 265AK.” “I’m sorry Sugarcube. I just don’t feel the same way.” “Fort Smith tower, SkyWest 3739, 4 miles from IZOVU, RNAV GPS 26.” “SkyWest 3739, Fort Smith tower, hold as published at UCAXE, slow to 150 knots, report established.” “Hold as published at UCAXE, 150 knots, report established, SkyWest 3739.” “Boeing 265AK, runway 26, cleared to land.” “I’m sorry Sugarcube. I just don’t feel the same way.” “Oh what a relief.” I think to myself as I focus on landing, telling ATC, “cleared to land 26, 265AK.” 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown, spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. 35 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “N265AK, right on A, taxi TAC Air via A, remain this frequency.” “Right A, A to TAC Air, stay with you, 265AK.” “You okay? Did you hear me?” “I did, and I’m glad that’s out in the open.” When we park, I shut everything down but leave the APU on, since I’m wheels up in less than 30 minutes. After I check the APU, I disarm L1, drop the airstair, and ask if she has her keys. “Well, thanks for the food, sugar cube.” “Of course! I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” “It doesn’t.“ “Boy am I glad.” I say as we walk in. We share another hug before she asks, “I’ll see ya soon, yea?” “Yeah. I’m not going anywhere soon.” “Bye, Max.” She responds as she heads out. “See ya real soon!”
PONY 101: Intro to PoniesAuthor's Note As this story was being written, I graduated from Uni, and two weeks later, my dad had a stroke, which is mentioned in the story. I did my best on this one, but any shortcomings in the writing are result of the emotional toll from my dad’s stroke, which coincidentally occurred the same day I published my previous story. PONY 101: Intro to Ponies “Hey Twilight,” I text as I prep for landing, “picking up Applejack now. You want to meet us in the city or my airport?” “My friend wants to see the city, so would you mind driving and giving a tour?” “Absolutely. You want to meet at my airport or in the city?” “Perfect! She says she looks forward to it! We’ll meet at your airport.” “Good to hear. Look forward to seeing you again.” “Same here!” “Boeing 265AK, the wind calm, nobody behind you. Runway 8, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land runway 8, Boeing 265AK.” Autopilot disengage. 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. 40 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “Boeing 5AK, turn left on A, taxi Tac Air via A, hold short runway 2.” “Left A, A to Tac Air, short of runway 2, 265AK.” When I pass G, tower calls, “Boeing 265AK, cross runway 2, taxi via A to Tac Air, monitor ground .9.” “Cross runway 2, A to Tac, Ground .9, 265AK.” Once parked, I leave the APU on since Applejack’s on her way and it’s late afternoon, so most people still “aren’t home yet.” In other words, my turnaround time is quick, so I’d much rather leave it on. “Applejack! So great to see you!” I say as I open my arms for a hug. “Howdy, sugar cube!” She exclaims hugging me tighter than a python, the smell of her hair a rather refreshing one. “Thank you for joining me. Means a lot.” “Glad to be here. Thank you kindly for inviting me. It’s always nice spending time with you!” “Aw, well thank you. You don’t get air or motion sick do you?” “Seasick, yes. Airsick, no.” “Ok, good. There’s no turbulence forecast, but you never know. I don’t want you to remember flights with me by being sick the entire time, especially because this is the first time you’ve flown with me.” “Nah. It’s fine. I’ve flown in small planes a few times and never got sick. I’ve only been seasick once, and knowing who my pilot is might help too.” She pauses as I take care of the fees. I let her go ahead of me as we climb the air stair to board. She then sighs in relief and says, “looks like ‘ya have a proper airplane this time, so I trust it’ll be kind to me” as she pats the fuselage right next to the entry door. “Don’t you speak about Airbus like that.” I say after retracting the air stair. “Well, I’m sorry that I don’t feel comfortable on an airplane that’ll fly itself into the ground!” “Say what you want. That was pilot error as much as a technical… fault!” I say grunting out the last two words to shut and lock the cabin door. “Yer’ namesake was pilot error. Too many computer doohickeys. Yer’ slave to a machine.” She responds as I squat down to arm the door. When I stand up again, I respond, “That was also a deciding factor in the MAX. Pilot error was, probably intentionally, overlooked, but Boeing deciding to go towards heavy computerization in their airplanes was something that I wasn’t comfortable with. Even so, I was always skeptical about the MCAS, and I guess my suspicions were right. MCAS was designed to be minimally invasive, until someone at Boeing decided it should intervene automatically, with very roundabout ways of only partially disabling it.” “Still, I trust Boeing more than Airbus.” “I won’t argue with that.” By the time we finish that conversation, we‘re all ready to go. Applejack chooses to indulge in some first class luxury, leaving me a solo act for the hourlong flight to Gusty Garden. “Fort Smith clearance, Boeing 265AK, IFR to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “Boeing 265AK, full route clearance available. Advise when ready to copy.” “Go ahead, 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to Chicago Gusty Garden via FSM Q23 RZC J105 BDF TOBBY.SODOR7. Maintain 12,000. Razorback departure 120.9. Squawk 0422.” “Cleared to Gusty Garden via Fort Smith, Q23, Razorback, J105, Bradford, TOBBY, SODOR Seven Arrival. Maintain 12,000 on departure. Razorback 120.9, squawk 0422, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 5AK, readback correct. Expect departure heading from tower. Ground .9.” “265AK.” “Fort Smith Airport Information Alpha, 1910Z. Wind variable at 4, visibility 10, sky condition: broken 8,000, scattered 12,000, few 25,000. Temperature 7, dew point -2, altimeter 30.02. ILS and Visual runway 26 in use. Landing and departing runway 26. Notices to Airmen. Restricted Area 2401-Alpha and Bravo active, Surface to FL300, sunrise to sunset. Restricted Area 2402-Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, not active, refer to NOTAMs. Advisory: all VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. Various tower lights out of service in various quadrants. Advise on initial contact, you have information Alpha.” “Fort Smith Ground, Boeing 265AK, information A, taxi.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith Ground. Runway 25, taxi via A, hold short runway 2.” “A to 25, short of runway 2, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared across runway 2. Taxi to runway 26 via A.” “Cross runway 2, A to 26, Boeing 265AK.” As I check to make sure flaps are set to 10 instead of 5 for the shorter runway, autopilot is set and programmed as necessary, and maintaining a healthy taxi speed, we reach the hold short. “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, short of 26 at A, ready for departure.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower, runway 26, line up and wait, pending IFR release.” “Line up and wait 26, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK,” tower calls about 35 seconds later, “runway 26, cleared for takeoff, fly runway heading.” “Cleared for takeoff 26, runway heading, 265AK.” I respond, and gently advancing the throttles forward, I use a rolling short field technique to ensure adequate takeoff run. 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Flaps 5. Flaps up. “Boeing 265AK, contact Razorback approach. Have a good flight.” “Stop the plane!” AJ shouts bursting into the cockpit and shaking me violently. “Fu-u-u-u-uck, A-a-pp-l-le-j-a-a-ck!!” I shout as her shaking transfers to the yoke. “I forgot my phone!” She shouts as she heads back to the cabin. “Boeing 265AK, we need to return to the field. My client forgot her phone.” “N265AK, roger. Are you still planning on flying to Gusty Garden?” “Affirm, can you amend our flight plan for departure in 45 minutes?” “Boeing 265AK, on request. Would you like the visual or shoot an approach?” “Boeing 265AK, let’s do an approach.” I reply as I configure the aircraft. “N265AK, squawk VFR, turn right heading 310, vectors to AYUWU. Contact Razorback Approach on 120.9.” “VFR, 310, Razorback, Boeing 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, heading 310 for AYUWU, ILS 26 Fort Smith.” “Boeing 265AK, Razorback Approach, roger. Proceed direct AYUWU, slow to 150 knots, traffic inbound to Fort Smith a CRJ-900 turning 5 mile final on the DME arc.” “Direct AYUWU, in sight, 150 knots, 265AK.” Flaps 10. “Approach brief. ILS Z runway 26 into Fort Smith. Primary navaid Fort Smith Localizer on 111.3. Approach course inbound 256. 8,000’ of runway available. TDZE 446’. Airport Elevation 469’. Circle FSM 10 DME Arc north of the localizer from AYUWU at or above 3,100 until established on course inbound. Once established, descend to 2,700, our glide slope intercept and final approach fix. Follow glideslope to ILS minimums of 653 and 2400 RVR. Missed approach point intersection of glideslope at 653. If environment is in sight, continue to land. If not, if we have at least one piece of the environment in sight, we can go to 550. Missed approach procedure, climb 2,500 direct to Jembo NDB and hold. Identify FSM VOR? I-FSM LOC? Jembo: GK? Check. Check. Check. GPS overlay can substitute, but good to know we have our primaries. FAF identified by FSM R-118 and 7.0 GPS. To avoid the restricted area, offset course by turning when we cross FSM R-075 instead of 076. Approach brief complete.” Vref set. Lower landing gear. Flaps 15. “N265AK, contact Fort Smith Tower, 118.3.” “Over to tower now, 265AK.” “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK at OCEXA, ILS 26.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. Report WIZER inbound.” “Report WIZER inbound, 265AK.” Flaps 25. “Boeing 265AK, previous aircraft reported wind shear on short final.” “Roger, thanks, 265AK.” Flaps 30. Just under 2 minutes later, I get the FAF. Timer set, “Tower, Boeing 265AK at WIZER.” “Boeing 265AK, runway 26, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land 26, Boeing 265AK.” 1000. 100. Minimums. Minimums! Minimums! Runway and environment in sight. Autothrottle disengage. Normal maneuvers, normal descent to land. Autopilot disengage. 50. 40. 30. Suddenly, a heart-stopping drop precedes a loud “Windshear! Windshear! Windshear!” “Power!” I shout out of habit as I shove the throttles forward. 20. 10. “Max!! I found my phone!” She shouts bursting into the cockpit again and waving her phone in my peripheral. “God damn it.” I whisper as I shove the throttles full forward, initiate a climb and clean up the airplane. “Tower, Boeing 265AK going missed, as published.” I say cleaning the aircraft up. “N265AK, roger…? Do you want to try again?” “Negative. My client actually does have her phone after all. If able, we’d like to get our clearance to Gusty Garden once established in the hold, 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK… roger. Fly the published missed, maintain 3,000.” “As published, 3,000, will report established, Boeing 265AK.” “I’m awful sorry, sugar cube.” She utters feebly sitting down in the right seat. “It’s fine. Just don’t scare me like that when we’re 5 feet off the deck.” I respond, which makes AJ redder than ever. Track to GK/Jembo. 3,000. 200 knot speed limit. “N265AK, contact Razorback approach.” “Over to Razorback, 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, missed approach at Fort Smith, as published holding at 3,000.” “Boeing 265AK, Razorback departure, roger. Report established in the hold.” “Will report established, 265AK.” A few minutes later, we begin our first proper racetrack circuit, to which I report, “Razorback, Boeing 265AK established.” “N265AK, roger. Contact Fort Smith tower for your clearance, 118.3.” “Over to tower, talk to you soon, 265AK.” “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, established in the hold at Jembo, clearance to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “Boeing 265AK, contact Razorback Approach, they’ll get it for you.” “Over to Razorback, 265AK.” “Razorback approach, Boeing 265AK, clearance to Chicago Gusty Garden.” “N265AK, Razorback approach, contact Fort Smith tower, 118.3, they’ll get it for you.” “We’ll try again with Fort Smith, but they’ll probably give us back to you, Boeing 265AK.” “Fort Smith Tower, Boeing 265AK, Razorback wants you to take our clearance.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. There is no flow into either Chicago O’Hare or Midway. Contact Razorback approach on 120.9.” “Roger no flow, we’ll let ‘em know, 265AK.” “Razorback, Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith insists you take our clearance, as there is no flow into Chicago area airports at this time.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to the Gusty Garden Airport via as filed, except expect FL310, climb and maintain 11,000, squawk 0214.“ “Cleared to Gusty Garden as filed, 11,000, expect FL310 instead of 350, squawk Valentines Day, Boeing 265AK.” “N265AK, readback correct. Proceed direct Fort Smith.” “Direct Fort Smith, climbing 11,000, Boeing 265AK.” “So sugarcube, are you gonna woo me with a fancy Valentines dinner?” Applejack asks as I initiate the climb. “No. You said nothing fancy, remember? Especially since it’s not just the two of us. I want to beat dinner traffic, which in the city tends to start at 15:30 for a day like this. Plus, if you ask me, commercialization of holidays is a bunch of bullshit.” “I‘m with ‘ya on that.” “Wait, you hate the holidays like I do? That seems unlike you.” “Gift giving is always fun, don’t get me wrong, but the biggest thing I look forward to at the holidays is being with family.” “Been like that since I was in middle school,” I nod in agreement. “Of course, with my disownment, that all changed, but that’s NHNT.” “NHNT?” “Neither here nor there.” “Now wait an Apple pickin’ minute! Yer’ family disowned ya?!” “Yep.” “Oh. Well, okay… Um, have ya’ been told about the portal to Equestria?” She asks nervously, desperate to change the subject. “No. Don’t know who would tell me.” “Basically, 6 of us have pony twins in an alternate world of various sapient creatures. In Twilight’s case, she’s a unicorn-turned-alicorn, currently the reigning Princess of Friendship.” “Uh huh.” I respond a little more than skeptical. “So you’re telling me that there exists an alternate universe where Twilight is a pony princess?” “Eeyup.” “What does that make you then?” “My counterpart’s an earth pony. No horn, no wings.” “Okay. What about the others?” “Uh, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are Pegasi, Rarity‘s a unicorn, and Pinkie’s an earth pony. Sunset Shimmer is a unicorn, but she doesn’t have a human counterpart that we know of. She’s the only one of her, if ya’ take my meaning.” “Interesting. Kind of makes me wonder what that would make me.” “Knowing you, ye’d probably be a Pegasus.” “With broken wings.” “Kind of like Scootaloo. Her wings are too small for her to sustain flight.” “Scootaloo’s a Pegasus?” “Eyup. All three pony types are covered with her, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, they call themselves.” “Cutie Mark?” “In Equestria, when a pony discovers what they’re meant to do or what makes ‘em special, a cutie mark appears on their flank.” “Does that mean that if I went to Equestria, I’d have a silhouette of an airplane adorning my ass?” “Maybe.” “So where’s the portal?” “That I don’t know. I assume Twilight – our Twilight, has one at her house, but if there are others, I have no idea.” “Hmm.” “Boeing 265AK, climb and maintain FL230.” “Climb to 230, 265AK.” “Who knows though, sugar cube. If you were to walk through that portal, there is a slight chance that you may not even be a pony.” “What other species could I be then?” “Dragon, Griffon, Kirin, even a Changeling.” “Wouldn’t I like to know.” I say as I monitor the airplane in the climb. At cruising, Applejack asks me, “Sugar cube, I don’t wanna bring up any sour apples, but would you mind telling me about y’all’s gettin’ disowned?” “It’s fine. Not much to tell there, I wanted to go into aviation. The family tried everything in their power to get my head out of the clouds. I attempted suicide because they refused to listen to me. They found out and severed all connections to me, since apparently, I hated myself enough to attempt suicide. As far as they’re concerned, I never existed. I was never born.”
Twolight“Boeing 265AK, descend via the COLON Two Arrival, LXATV transition for flow into Chicago O’Hare and Midway.” “LXATV on the COLON2, 265AK.” “Approach brief: Colon Two, LXATV transition. From MOUTH, course 120 at or above 6,900 to LXATV, then on course 180 direct to ANUSS, expect radar vectors. Since the LXATV is in use, there’s obviously flow control, and we have to be landing south. Approach brief complete.” As I prepare the cabin for landing, AJ quips, “Boy are you gonna look like a pimp.” “Are you trying to suggest something?“ “No.” When we land at SMG, I text Twilight a timestamp to confirm our arrival. Not expecting a response, one comes. “OK” (likely from a smart watch) While we wait for Twilight, Applejack and I chat while I stare at the two airplanes parked at the gates in our view. “I don’t mean to sound unappreciative, but did you just accept this date so neither of us would feel bad?” “No. I wasn’t fibbin’ when I said I wanted to have a lunch date with you. However, you didn’t specify whether you wanted it to be just us or with others. Hence, Twilight and her plus one.” “Who?” “A friend of ours, also named Twilight.” “You know two Twilights?” “Actually, it’s kind of an interesting story. This Twilight’s a pony princess in Equestria.” “Wait, what?” “Twilight’s bringing her equestrian counterpart to dinner with us.” “Your pony counterparts can hop between their world and ours?” “Eyup!” “Damn. If she’s the Princess of Friendship, I wouldn’t put it past them for her to be crowned royalty. Somebody, or rather, somepony got the short end of the stick.” “I mean, our Twi went to a very prestigious and intense prep school.” “That explains her high-level smarts, one-percenter innocence and general outlook on life.” “How d’ya mean?” “One percenter because of how she seems to carry herself, the innocence shown in a notable discomfort around stuff that, say, someone like me would find intriguing. As for the general temperament, aside from being a logical and calculating individual, she’s also the type of person that derives her pleasures from different sources than others. She seems to belong to the “subculture as mainstream” subgroup.” “Rainbow Dash just calls her an egghead.” “I’ve never heard Rainbow Dash say the word egghead, never mind to Twilight.” “Equestrian Rainbow Dash calls Princess Twilight an egghead.” “That shouldn’t surprise me, and it doesn’t. Even so, I can’t say that it isn’t funny.” “Yeah? Well, you’ll be in for a nice surprise when you hear…” “Hi Applejack.” Two identical voices call out. “Howdy Twilight!” She says to the both of them. “Max,” our Twilight says, “meet, um, ‘other me.’” “Your majesty.” I say genuflecting humorously. “Please; we’re outside my realm. We don’t have to be so formal.” Equestrian Twilight blushes in shock. ”Just a sign of respect, ma’am.“ I say offering my hand, which she shakes. “I’ll admit, I’m still not entirely used to these things.” She says wiggling her fingers. “I can imagine. How often do you come out to these parts?” “Uh, not much. Being a princess is busy work.” “I’ll bet.” “But, ever since the Friendship map expanded to include this dimension, some of us will probably make more trips here.” “Sure. Speaking of here, you’ve been promised a tour of Chicago, so when you’re ready, we can get that started.” “Okay!” She responds cheerfully. “How are we going to distinguish human Twilight from Princess Twilight?” “Which one of ya wants to go by Twi?” AJ then asks, sounding like it’s the simplest solution, which it is. Both of them look at each other and give each other the chance to answer. “I can just go by Twily.” The Princess responds. “I like it.” I respond. “Better than my alternative.” “What?” “‘Princess.’” “NO!” All 3 respond simultaneously. “I think Twily will be just fine.” The Princess finishes as all four of us climb into a Ford Raptor of my own, still touting new car placards. “I cannot believe you made that drive in this kind of weather with that car. I’ll quote Applejack on this: you’re Plum Crazy.” “Actually,” she chuckles with a blush, “I didn’t hit any inclement weather until I passed the state line. We’re fortunate to have this break in traditional midwestern weather. Come tomorrow, it’s supposed to really start coming down.” “Oh yeah. Well, I’m glad the crews that keep my airport operable are loyal to me. Anyway, did you take Calumet or Tri-State?” “Neither.” She responds shaking her head. “I left the interstate close to Chicago Heights. Took back roads in an effort to take the most direct route.” “How much was the toll?” “$5.” “Here.” I say providing her with some $20s. “Toll there and back, plus gas money.” “No, no. I couldn’t accept this.” “I can’t let my only payment to you be dinner. You drove 3 hours here, plus you’ve got 3 hours back to Indy.” “Ugh,” she groans playfully. “Fine. You give Rarity a run for her money.” “Oh pfft! I earn more money per hour than the average American makes in a year. I earn money faster than I can spend it.” “How have you avoided gold diggers?” “Oh, I’ve dealt with plenty. I’m just lucky that none of them married me.”
The City in a Garden by The LakeAfter we get onto the interstate, AJ asks, “Hey Max, what exactly did you mean by ‘see you in San Francisco?’” “The meaning of the phrase is twofold. 1. San Francisco is where you can usually find me if I’m not at home or in Chicago. 2. ‘I’m going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.’” “Max!!” Applejack shouts back indignantly as both Twilights gasp simultaneously. “Are you okay?” Twi asks as she grabs my arm. “What’s going on?” “It’s just a joke. Sorry Twily, I should’ve warned you. I have a very… demented sense of humor.” “Well, it’s… dark.” She responds nervously. Quickly changing gears, I jump off Dan Ryan at MSI, I traffic check to find the least congested way to do the tour, and contrary to the first time, it actually is more favorable to start north at Wrigley and work our way down, the best place to end looking like… MSI. “Okay, looks like we’re all nice and settled in. This should take no more than an hour or two, traffic pending. Of course, I have quite a bit to say about most of our stops, but I’ll try and make it quick. As we make our way to our starting point, let me get you acquainted with a little history lesson: Chicago is the third most populous city in the United States, behind New York and Los Angeles, but it wasn’t always this big. The city’s relatively humble beginnings date back to the 1830’s. Somewhere in the city limits, I forget the exact place, is the saddle point for what was a water gap that today links the Mississippi River to Lake Michigan, one of the 5 Great Lakes in North America. The area had been settled by Natives known as the Potawatomi, who replaced the original Miami and Sauk/Fox inhabitants when the latter two groups were forcibly removed and relocated to Oklahoma. The name Chicago is a Miami–Illinois word which means “wild onion” or “wild garlic,” but onion tends to be the preferred translation. After some years of war between the United States and natives, eventually Chicago became a settlement town of about 200 people after the Potawatomi were themselves forcibly removed and sent to Oklahoma. Within a few years, the town grew exponentially. The water gap I referred to earlier played a big part in it. The Chicago Portage as it was called was able to link the eastern and western halves of the United States by connecting the Mississippi River to the Great Lakes by allowing Steam Ships and eventually railroads to traverse the country, forming a massive fortress hub that became a bit of a melting pot, as the city was one of the biggest stops for transcontinental journeys that back then would take a much longer time than today. Even so, Chicago is still a very popular spot for all modes of long-distance transportation. By the way, Twily, how much do you know about this world?” “I’ve done a fair amount of research, but I haven’t dug too deeply into anything specific.” “Okay, well, let me explain the sport of baseball to you. My personal favorite of all the American sports. The object of the game is to score more runs than your opponents over the course of 9 innings. One inning is divided into top and bottom. In each half, one team plays the field, on defense, and the other team bats, on offense. To score a run, a batter must cross 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base safely, in order before he can cross home plate. A run is counted when the runner safely crosses home plate. In order for a runner to be safe, he must be on the base, or he can be tagged out with the player that has the ball. Each team consists of 9 players, all of whom play positions and bat, except if you’re in the American League, where you have a designated hitter who bats instead of the pitcher, but that’s another story. 3 outs and the teams switch sides. Very simple game, relatively simple rules. The game has been around since at least the 1800’s, with no clear origin story, and the origins of baseball have in fact been the subject for much debate in American history. Again, another story. If we had the time, I could teach you the game, but you have more important duties. Nevertheless, as we approach our first stop, allow me to introduce you to Wrigley Field. This is the home of the Chicago Cubs, and has been since 1916. The stadium is famous for a number of reasons including the ivy-clad outfield brick wall, bleacher seats that are actually located on rooftops of buildings across the street, the red marquee that we’ll pass by shortly, and for the history buff, the second-oldest ballpark in Major League Baseball, famous for its refusal to install lights for night games until 1988, and home of the Chicago Bears of the National Football League from 1921 to 1970. Football by the way is up there with baseball as the most American sport there is, and we’ll get to American Football at the present home of the Bears later on. Chicago is a city built on history, even more so than others I would argue, as the city has played host to a number of significant historical events, four of which are depicted on the city flag.” After I pause to pull up an image of the flag, Applejack, sitting in the front seat, holds my iPad up while I explain each feature. “The flag consists of two blue stripes dividing the white background into thirds. Each white portion represents a side of the town, North Side on top, West Side in the middle, and South Side on the bottom. Each blue stripe represents a body of water connected to the city: on top we have Lake Michigan and the North Branch of the Chicago River, which is the main body of water through the heart of downtown; and underneath that is the South Branch of the Chicago River and the Great Canal, the Portage/Watershed/Drainage Basin that the city was founded on. Lastly, we have the four stars.” Before I can speak on the stars, the light turns green, so I stop talking to navigate. I continue when we get settled nicely. “The first star represents the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. I’ll talk about that in a bit. The second star represents the World’s Columbian Exposition in 1893. Consider it a World’s Fair, where the world was invited to the city to celebrate culture, technology, and other things. This expo was actually where the Ferris Wheel was born, or rather, debuted, and the design was originally known as the Chicago wheel. The Ferris Wheel was named after the inventor, George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. It included thirty-six cars capable of holding forty people, a considerable difference from most Ferris Wheel designs today. As the expo was a celebration of culture, so would it shape the image of the city, becoming a city built on human unity, diversity, and universality. The third star represents the Century of Progress Exhibition, held forty years after the World’s Columbian Expo, in 1933. Also known as the Chicago World’s Fair, this expo celebrated the city’s centennial and the fighting spirit of not only Chicago, but of the country, fresh off the recovery from the Great Depression. The expo was also intended to promote the idea that man and machine could work together in harmony to create a utopia, as seen in the expo’s motto: “science finds, industry applies, man adapts.” Of course, even today, the idea of man and machine working together seems like a concept of the distant future, but even so, humans have made it leaps and bounds beyond what could even be considered at the time. The World’s Columbian Exposition took place in an area around the south side of the city, and the Century of Progress took place at Northerly Island park. The fourth star represents Fort Dearborn, one of the original U.S. forts that marked the official settlement of what would become Chicago. There are two structures that were called Fort Dearborn; the first was destroyed during the War of 1812, and the second one was lost to the ravages of time and the Great Chicago Fire.” Before I can start talking about the fire, we hit another red light. Checking the map, I expect to need to floor it to make a lane change ahead of an upcoming left turn. When the light does turn green, I bump the gear lever into manual mode and put my foot down. The engine reaches 5000 rpm when I flick the paddle and jump into the far left lane so I can catch LSD. “The Great Chicago Fire,” I begin while waiting in the left turn lane, “is one of the most significant events in the history of the city, and is in fact the namesake of the city’s soccer franchise. On October 8, 1871, a small fire broke out in an alleyway. That in of itself was not a problem. However, there are three major contributing factors to the fire’s disastrous spread. So disastrous in fact that the fire burned for two straight days. Firefighters couldn’t keep up with it, because thanks to an error by the watchman, they were sent to the wrong place, in full force. This caused the fire to grow rapidly without any defenses against it, which brings us to our second major contributing factor, the construction of the city. Back in the day, the primary building material of choice was wood. Even in Equestria I imagine, wood is a ~~poplar~~ popular choice in building homes and offices and such. But what happens when you combine a city built on wood with a rapidly growing fire?” Before I can continue, the light turns green so we can merge onto LSD. “Sorry to change gears, but I must break for one of the more famous parts of the city today, Lake Shore Drive, or LSD. Famous for running 3 stories of traffic in the financial district of the city, Lake Shore Drive is one of the best roads in Chicago to cruise with the top and/or windows down, with the freshwater lake air in your hair, or mane as the case may be. This is consequently one of the most crowded roads in the city. Nevertheless, it is still one of my favorite places to drive, as the name would imply, all of Chicago’s beaches are accessible and visible from this very road. If you ever have time in our summer, I’m sure it would be fun.” “Thank you for doing this, Max.” Twily says. “Can you slow down just a little bit? It’s a lot to take in.” “Oh. Of course, I’m sorry. Is there anything you have questions about while we’re stopped?” “These expositions on the flag: do they still take place?” “Actually yes, they do. There are various types of expositions, most of which don’t even carry the ‘World’s Fair’ name anymore, but it is still very much alive. Most of those expositions take place all around our world, but even so, Chicago gets credit for hosting one of the earliest ones.” “And the Great Depression? I’ve done some reading into it, but what caused it?” “There are many schools of thought as to what caused the Great Depression, and I actually am not well-versed in economics. That being said, I know that a major coincidence I jokingly accept as the root cause is that the concept of credit became mainstream. The public was so enthused by the concept of being able to buy something without needing to pay much if at all upfront that a lot of them splurged and *conveniently forgot* about paying what they actually owed. That theory has no grounds, but it makes for a nice joke. The point I make with that statement is that people in this world are stupid, but you learn to hate the people and love the place.” “And the last question for now: what is meant by natives? The pota… potawa…” “Potawatomi?” “Yes.” “Natives in this case would refer to native Americans. The original settlers of the land, or the settlers that inhabited the land before the arrival of European settlers. That whole discussion of history I will not lie is sad and brutal, but in light of recent political events, I’d rather not talk about it. It’s a very sensitive issue.” “Okay…” Twily responds with unease. “I’m sorry.” “No, no, it’s okay. I just realized how bad this world truly is. I mean, Equestria is not without its faults, but this world is a different kind of bad.” “How do you mean?” “Well, as a princess myself, I don’t get this as much as I did before becoming a princess. In our capital city of Canterlot, there are a lot of ponies who think they’re better than everypony else, and refuse to even look at anyone less than them.” “Ooh. Classism. We have that too, but that’s not as much of an issue. For some, it’s still a problem, but not really social class. Mostly today, thanks to certain people getting behind someone in power who can give them a voice, we get racism. Hatred of one person by another on the basis of their race, or rather, where they’re from. Twi tells me you have some semblance of that in Equestria too.” “Yes…” she responds disappointedly. “Usually an issue with high society in Canterlot. The most discriminated against race is the earth ponies, who are considered by some to quite literally be the scum of Equestria. As for the Pegasi, most of the time they get dirty looks from others for making weather that was detrimental to them. For example, if you were a Pegasus, I would confront you in the street and say something like “hey, you ruined my family picnic by sending rain when it was supposed to be sunny! What gives?!” I don’t know why the unicorns adopted that philosophy, but it’s disheartening nonetheless.” “I would be too if I was a unicorn. But the whole concept of differing views is not a bad thing, you know. Political variance can be beneficial.” “You think infighting is a bad thing?!” “No. I mean that such variation in political views, and in fact some degree of political discord, is actually a sign of a healthy democracy.” “Hmm…” “Think about it like this: if there was no disagreement between citizens, then by definition, all citizens would be in agreement. If everyone is in agreement, then everyone has the same train of thought. Doesn’t that sound antithetical to what a democracy is? The word democracy came from Ancient Greek, δημοκρατία (demokratia), which literally means ‘rule of the people.’ Granted, your ruling system is not a democracy, but even for a monarchy, you seem to hold yourself or selves to a very high moral standard and believe it should be standard across your realm. I don’t think your standing ruler or rulers would be in support of tyrannical rule, since it sounds like there are a few monarchs in Equestria anyway.” “Yeah, I don’t think Princess Celestia would be a fan of making all the political decisions by herself. She made drastic changes when her sister rejoined her on the throne. She became a whole new pony when the two of them assumed the throne.” “Well then, sounds like a very well-functioning diarchy of sorts.” “It really is. When Princess Luna was still in the moon, Celestia alone just wasn’t enough. Equestria was in a very interesting time period. I moved to Ponyville the day that Princess Luna, as Nightmare Moon, broke free from her lunar prison. After we defeated Nightmare Moon and rescued Princess Luna, the two of them assuming the throne as co-rulers was the best thing to happen to Equestria. Now that Luna was back, she could govern the night and the dream realm again. Imagine having to raise the moon and the sun, govern the dream realm and rule an entire kingdom. She’d literally have no time to sleep. I have no idea how she did it for a thousand years.” “Hmm.” I respond. “I hate to add somber to somber, but let’s talk about the Fire.“ When both Twilights sit back, I go with the flow of traffic and continue. “The fire grew from a small alleyway fire to a catastrophic two-day blaze quickly due to the city built on wood, poor response from the fire department, and the third one: the prevailing conditions. The summer of 1871 was very dry. Embers from the blaze then got picked up by the wind by which the city earns its nickname and would start new fires. One fire didn’t grow out. Multiple small fires borne from the original fire converged. It took many years, but the city rebuilt itself and the image of the city endures, despite the modern almost undoing of it with prolific issues that have plagued the city since before even I was born. But again, that’s another story.” “Wow, Max. You know a lot about the city.” “Thank you Twily. That being said, I’ve been kind of rehearsing that speech. Some of it I know by heart, but the flag, I don’t have in memory. I always forget what the stars stand for.” “What about the rest of the flag? Why does it have two blue stripes?” “Each blue stripe represents the two bodies of water that are an integral part of the city. The top stripe represents Lake Michigan and the bottom stripe represents the Chicago River.” “Oh, okay!” “There are a few buildings I need/want to show you before we head for food.” “Okay.” “Are any of you hungry right now? Our reservation isn’t for another hour and a half. If you want something small to tie us over, I’ll see what I can do.” “You still want meat, Twily?” Twi asks her. “Sure?” “You’re okay with meat?” I butt in. “I’m a huge meat eater, so if you want to get some, we can.” “You like eating meat?” “Admittedly yes. I imagine that’s not exactly a welcome thing in Equestria, but I have to govern myself very closely. I have high blood pressure, so I just have to do my due diligence in my diet.” “I’ve had meat before, but not since the first time I visited this world.” “How many times have you been since without having meat then?” “Uhh, I actually don’t know. I’ve lost count.” “That’s okay. It sounds to me that when you’re in this world, you don’t mind eating meat. Do your friends know?” “Are you kidding?! They would go crazy if they found out.” “Well then,” I retract in embarrassment. “I’d’ve been surprised if you said yes anyway.” “Max,” Twi then says filling in for her, “I had said that deep dish pizza would be a real treat for her. If I may, we ought to include at least one pizza with a meat.” “Absolutely. When I would go to Lou’s with my family, we’d always order one with meat. However, now that you mention it, I think we should show you, Twily, some of the best meat available, for comparison purposes.” “Sure.” She responds with some excitement. “I know that I could never make this known in Equestria, but as long as I’m a human, I’m sure I can enjoy it. I don’t mind the taste. My only concern with eating meat is if I find it so delicious, I’ll either get my images of animals ruined or I get hooked on it. That’s why I have to watch the meat I eat.” “I understand completely. I hope that your impression of the animals in this world does not match that of animals in Equestria. Animals here are not completely sentient like ponies.” “Well, I would love to show you around Equestria sometime.” “I’d love to go. I’m very curious as to what I would be, since I imagine that I wouldn’t be limited to just being a pony. Could I be a whole ‘nother species when I cross realms?” “Maybe. And whatever species you are, you’ll be welcome. Not by all though, as we just discussed, but you’ll have the Princess of Friendship on your side.” “Thank you, I appreciate that.” “Are we ready for the last few points of interest before we head for dinner?” “I am!” Twi says. The remaining two follow suit, so I resume docent mode when we leave LSD down by Grant Park. “On your right, the large park right there is Grant Park. Also joined to it is Millennium Park. This area is where many of Chicago’s festivals take place, including Taste of Chicago, Lollapalooza, and the Chicago Air & Water show. The area is also home to Buckingham Fountain and Cloud Gate, otherwise known as the Bean. I imagine you have similar art in Equestria, only based on my shallowly anchored assumptions. Even so, as a proud Chicagoan I cannot do a tour without at least mentioning them.” I pause as we leave most of Chicago behind, and in the process, I decide to abandon MSI and save it for a later visit. When we stop at another light, I continue. “On your left is Soldier Field and Museum Campus. Soldier Field is the home of the Chicago Bears of the National Football League, an equally American but arguably polar opposite sport in terms of gameplay. Unlike baseball, the offense initiates play. The objective is to travel from end zone to end zone, the goal line distance is 100 yards. How much do you know about football, Twily?” “A bit. I’ve dipped into a little bit of everything, so I’m familiar with the concept. Seems like a scary game to play, even with all that padding.” “Not really. I mean, I guess that’s why many Americans enjoy it. It’s kind of a demolition derby of sorts, but I personally don’t get too involved in, well, sports as a whole. At least, when I do, I would much rather be playing.” “Sure.” Just as the light turns green, I start talking about Museum Campus. “Chicago has four major museums in its metropolitan area; 3 of them are located in Museum Campus. The Field Museum of Natural History is a popular hit for many. Home to Maximiliáno and formerly Sue, both of whom were famously dug up as fully intact, or more accurately, complete, Tyrannosaurus Rex skeletons. If you like earth and earthy stuff, that would be your favorite place. If underwater life is your cup of tea, I would suggest Shedd Aquarium. Home to Spot, a killer whale I actually helped rescue from poachers, very much a fan favorite, especially for me, because my daughter is his trainer. When I took this world’s crew here back in our holiday season, I had discovered my daughter Melody had been training Spot. You can imagine I was beyond proud. Anyway, that aside, um, Shedd is the best place to visit if Your Heart Is In Two Places, that being Under The Sea.” Before I can say anything else, all three passengers laugh. “Wow, Max!” Twi says. “Was that intentional?” “No, but yes in retrospect.” “Yer’ quick, sugar cube!” Applejack adds. “Nice one!” Twily though clearly enjoying herself remains reserved. “Lastly, and I know Twi can vouch for me on this, is Adler Planetarium. Famous for its sculpture Man Enters The Cosmos, which is actually a sundial, Adler is very much the place for the person with eyes pointed skyward. Life beyond our planet and pretty much the rest of the known universe is always the center. Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to visit any of these places, but if you’re ever on this side, I’m sure you’d enjoy it. Someone Like You I Can Only Imagine has a considerable thirst for knowledge, so take advantage if and when you can. You into architecture?” “Eh, not really?” “Okay. I don’t know how bad traffic really is, since we’re still about an hour from rush, so if you’re not into the buildings, we can just make our way to the restaurant for dinner. Although, let me make a call. I wanna see if on the off chance it’s available.” Quickly pulling up CarPlay and launching my contacts book, I call the Steakhouse. As it rings, I wait with bated breath to see if someone will pick up.
3.14z^2a 3.14“Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse.” “Hi, is there a possibility of placing a to-go order?” “Sure! When will you be picking up?” “As soon as possible.” “That’ll be in about 45 minutes then.” “No problem.” “What can I get you?” “Can we get 2 Delmonico steaks? One Medium, one Rare.” “Okay, anything else?” “Yes, an Italian Beef. And that’ll be it.” “Okay, so I have 2 Delmonico, one medium, one rare, and an Italian Beef.” “That’s all correct.” “Perfect! We’ll get those going for you, can I call you when they’re ready?” “Yes, please do!” “Sounds good.” “Thank you so much.” “My pleasure. Talk to you soon.” “Will do. Bye.” “Bye.” “Sweet. I have 2 steaks and an Italian Beef on the way. More meat for you to try, Twily.” “Yay.” She responds with some hesitance. “Do you not like meat after all?” “I do. It’s just I guess I get nervous when I get it. Guilty conscience I guess.” “I can understand that. If you don’t want them, it’s totally okay.” “No, no. I appreciate you ordering them. What sets those meats apart from the meat we can get on pizza?” “For starters, the animal. Steak and beef are bovine, and sausage unless otherwise specified is usually porcine.” “Do you guys eat horse?” “Not here in America. Horse meat is a delicacy in a few places around the world however.” I say nervously. “Usually though, if a horse is close to the end of its life but still safe for consumption, then they’ll slaughter it and prepare the meat.” The Princess’ eyes go big as dinner plates as I quickly try to recover with, “like I said though, consumption of equine products is virtually illegal here in the States. Sorry.” “No. It’s fine. It’s just difficult for me to make the distinction between the ponies of my world and the ponies of your world.” “Sure. But I haven’t tried horse meat, though I hear mixed reviews about it.” “Would you try it?” “Sure? To say I did mostly. I doubt I would like it.” “See, this is why it’s difficult for me to come to this world.” “That’s funny, at least for someone like me. It’s impossible for me to go full vegetarian because if I did, my sodium consumption would go up so much that it would be more hazardous to my health than just eating meat.” “That’s ironic and sad at the same time.” Before I can say anything else, I slow down for normal traffic, but quickly slam on the brakes when a gutsy one squeezes between me and the car in front, leaving no room between us. “Come on, man! You have at least 2 car lengths in front of you, and you still do me dirty like that?” I respond stoically, knowing I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was in his situation. “Calm down, sugar cube.” Applejack says, sensing a rise in my blood pressure. “I am. I mean that in a funny way, since of all things, he cuts me off rather than wait for me to give him the space.” “Fair enough.” “Why does driving have to be stressful?” Twi adds from the backseat. “Because of the people who drive like they don’t want anybody within 10 yards of them. Or the people who drive like they own the road.” “Sounds about right.” Twi responds. “Kind of a given. Even so, I hate people that feel entitled. Even though I’m guilty of it too.” “I don’t know about that.” Applejack responds. “Yer’ not the type to treat people as less than.” “I have my moments. I don’t think you know me as well as you think.” “Max, don’t lie to ‘yerself. Yer’ a good man.” “Stop it, you’ll over-inflate my ego.” “Yer’ not Rainbow Dash, you can take a compliment!” AJ snaps back. “Damn, AJ. You got a beef with Dash or somethin’?” “Believe me,” Twi responds, “you don’t know the half of it.” “I can imagine.” I say as I set course back towards Dan Ryan. “Okay. Looks like we’ll have just enough time to pick up the steaks before we head to Lou’s. Just in case, can either Applejack or Twi be prepared to move the truck?” “Where should we move it?” “You might just have to move it as far as the next few blocks up Michigan. Or try and find another street and park wherever you can.” “I can do it!” AJ responds. “So can I!” Twi adds. “I’ll let you two fight over it. It doesn’t really matter who does it.” As we head for the city, I watch the weather, which currently sits at a condition I can only describe as “Seattle happy.” That is to say, low-to-mid level clouds, depressing to a purebred Californian, but for me it’s perfect. Keeps some warmth trapped but also cold enough to not be terribly uncomfortable. Anyway, moving swiftly onto Dan Ryan, the EcoBoost V6 shouts as I flick a paddle to activate manual mode. I max out at 5000 revs give or take through the next few gears, resuming automatic mode when we reach a comfortable highway speed of… 55. After I jump off the interstate, I catch Michigan as far south as sensible so that when we reach the steakhouse, I can easily find a place to stop. Unfortunately, all the space in front of it is occupied with taxis and luxury ride shares, so I ask who’s gonna take control. Twi then takes off her belt, I quickly spring into action, putting her in park and playing Chinese fire drill so I can run in and pick up the food. Soon after I get out, the light turns green. I then head for the hostess desk inside a hotel lobby, greeted by a host. “Good evening. For how many?” He asks. “Actually, I’m picking up a to go order for Max.” “Oh! Yes, yes. Um, unfortunately, we’re still waiting on your Italian Beef. It should be ready shortly.” “No problem. I’ll wait.” “Thank you. Sorry about that.” “No trouble at all.” As I play the waiting game, three parties, two of whom are definitely couples in for a hot date night, get seated. I smile happily as I text AJ asking where they are. “We made a right on Ohio.” “Perfect.” “Here you are, sir. Sorry about the wait.” “It’s no trouble.” I say as I present him my card for payment. To alleviate some of his troubles, I tip a light 10%. “Thank you, sir! Have a good evening!” “Thank you, you too!” When I exit onto Michigan, the traffic hasn’t gotten any better, but as soon as I set foot outside, I feel a couple of raindrops. “Oh no. That can’t be good.” I whisper to myself as I head for Ohio. I then text both Twi and AJ, “on the way back.” When I reach the truck, Twi returns to the back seat and takes the food. The smell of the steak is so pungent that I’m salivating heavily. “Alright. Feel free to dig into those, but please save some room for pizza. Those meats are for later, if any of you want some leftovers after the fact.” “Then why did ya’ order them now?” AJ asks. “Because I don’t want to have to go back into the city. This way, when we head back to my airport, I don’t have to take a big detour.” “Fair enough, but in all honesty, it’d be worth the detour.” “Trust me. I’ve eaten there on Valentine’s Day. It’s really not.” “Alright. I’ll take ‘yer word for it.” “Is there silverware in here?” Twi asks. “Should be. Don’t think too much about a knife. The steaks cut like butter.” “Ooh!” Twily says as she pulls open one of the steaks. “Is that the medium or the rare?” “Let me cut into it.” Twi says taking the freshly cooked steak from her counterpart. “That’s definitely rare.” “Are you a fan of red meat, Twily?” I ask. “I don’t know?” “Probably best not to give her that one, Twi. I don’t think she’ll be able to stomach the red.” “How about the sandwich?” “You can dig into that if you want.” One traffic light short of the interstate, we wait for quite a while. I admire the long line of inbound traffic to the city as I watch the Twilights dig in. When the Princess takes her first bite of medium steak, I smile out of the corners of my mouth as she savors the taste. “This doesn’t taste like the meat I know and love.” “That’s because this isn’t bacon.” Twi responds. “Bacon is porcine. This is bovine.” “Oh. Okay.” She responds still chewing on her piece. “Does the Italian Beef have peppers, by the way? They didn’t ask whether I wanted hot or sweet.” “No.” “Okay. It’s no problem. Do you like spice, Twily?” “Spice, but not spicy, if you take my meaning.” “Absolutely. I like spice, but when heat overpowers the flavor, it’s not good.” “Exactly! Some Equestrian cuisine isn’t known for its spice, and others definitely are, but overall, it’s not the most flavorful either. We make do with what we have.” “Sure. Wow! This is one long red.” “Yer’ tellin’ me! We’ve been sitting here forever.” Just then, the light changes, and the first cars in line punch the throttle. “Are the express lanes open?” I ask as I peer to check the signage. “EXPRESS LANES: OPEN” “Sweet!” I exclaim as I let some others pass so I can squeeze in on that side. Jumping in the express lanes with almost everyone else in the lane, I put my foot down, flick a paddle, and turn on the radar detector. After I get comfortable at a weaving 75, I check to make sure the Twilights have stopped eating. “Save some room for pizza, now.” “Don’t worry.” Twi says. “I told her about deep dish. She also knows you have a soft spot for the stuff.” “Indeed I do. If you like pizza, you might love Chicago style deep dish.” “Sounds interesting.” “Usually, I like to stick to 3 basic types: Cheese, The Lou, which is tomatoes and spinach, and if you’re feeling meaty, then we can get a Malnati Chicago Classic, which is cheese and sausage. And, if I remember correctly, Lou’s is different from the other Chicago pizzas by using turkey sausage rather than pork, which I always appreciate.” “You have something against turkeys?” “No. I prefer turkey sausage because it keeps my arteries clear. Pork is not the best of meats because it’s fatty. That being said, pork and porcine products are favored because they’re cheap. Why is porcine cheap? I imagine it’s like this in Equestria too: raising other livestock, especially for meat, is really expensive. They need a lot of food and water, see? Hence, most people prefer porcine meat because it’s cheaper and because it’s fattier, tastier too.” “And bacon is…” “Porcine, usually. There are substitutes available however. Turkey, vegetarian, and even beef, but that’s very difficult to find.” “Hmm. Well, I still look forward to this pizza.” “Good, because… shit!” I say slamming on the brakes. “Fucking hell,” I add as a faster and more aggressive driver, also in a truck, threads a gap between me in the left lane and a slower car in the right lane. Worse still, the rain while light has wet the road enough to cause mild unhooking of my tires. As the offending vehicle slides in about 2 inches from my bumper, hitting the brakes so abruptly causes the backend to kick out, requiring a quarter turn of the steering wheel to counteract. The T/C and ESC lights flash as I punch the throttle to get it to correct itself and AWD engages indicated by some clunking from the drivetrain. When the back returns to normal and the “yaw” corrects itself, I put the hazards on for a few seconds, check that all warning lights are gone and that all is normal at the controls. When I flip the hazards off, I breathe a sigh of relief as AJ and Twi give me terrified looks while Twily is hyperventilating. “Twilight? Twily? It’s okay. We’re fine. Everything is good.” I say as Twi calms her down. “Why didn’t‘ya just slow down and let him in?” AJ asks me angrily. “I did.” “Don’t lie ta’ me! You didn’t brake until ya’ had to!” “I took my foot off the throttle! The speedo dropped by 5!“ “Would you two stop?!” Twi interjects. “Why do you have to fight over something that already happened?” Twily adds. “We could’ve been in a nasty accident! That was easily preventable, but he had to stand his ground and put us all in danger!” “I gave him plenty of space! What did you want me to do?” “Slow down and live! Is that so hard?!” “Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you.” “Ya’ know what? Forget it. I’m done.” “Okay.” I say as I slide over a lane and check for other cars. As soon as the next chance to leave the express lanes comes up, I slide out in prep for an early shift towards Edens. As soon as I can, I slide over to the right lane and continuously monitor the speedo, debating whether I want to drop it all at once or let it bleed off. However, that argument is quickly shut down when I tell myself that if I take the former approach, history might repeat itself with even worse consequences. As soon as I find a clearing, I wait until we pass the next speed limit sign. In about 2000 feet, we pass one: “SPEED LIMIT 55”. Immediately, I take my foot off the throttle and let the groundspeed bleed off to the speed limit. On the way down, I watch as a group going at least a mile a minute pass us. I’m nervous as fuck for doing this because I have bad experiences of being the slowest on the interstate as a passenger, but I’m also trying to prove a point. For The First Time In Forever, I use the cruise control to hold 55. As we get passed by many a car, I wait for the rest of them to notice. “Uh, Max?” Twi asks. “What’s going on?” I don’t answer, instead focusing on the road. “Max?” “Max??” Twi calls again. “Yeah?” “Is there a reason you’ve slowed down to 24.5 meters per second?” “The speed limit is 90 kph.” “But everyone else is going at least 60!” AJ adds. “You wanted to slow down and live. We’re going the speed limit, so in actuality, I’m not going too fast or too slow.” “Okay, Goldilocks, ye’ve proved yer’ point. Let’s get goin’! I’m hankerin’ for some of that pizza!” “Wow. Applejack likes deep dish. Duly noted.” “Of course! Load it up with some sausage, tomatoes, and a heapin’ helpin’ of cheese, it’s the best!” “Don’t forget about the butter crust. That’s what sets Lou’s apart from the others.” “Whoo-ee!” Applejack exclaims. “Let’s get ‘ta eatin’! I’m starving!” “You didn’t have the steaks or the Italian Beef?” “Of course not! I’m here for pizza!” “Says the one who upon meeting me in Arkansas, asked if I was “gonna woo you with a fancy steak dinner.” Be glad I’m not that kind of person.” “Ha! Yeah, otherwise I might actually have ‘ta oblige you.” “And where’s the fun in that?” “EGG-xactly!” “Besides, it may be Valentines Day, whatever the equivalent is in Equestria, but with me you’re lucky. The more the merrier. Especially because my wife can’t make it this year.” “Aww!” Twily says. “Where is your special somepo… somebody?” “She’s working tonight. She runs a helicopter tour business in Hawaii, and a couple on their honeymoon requested her specifically to do a personal tour. I also happen to know the happy couple. One of my buddies from Uni.” “Cool! That’s too bad your wife decided to take work over her husband.” “All Good. She wants a divorce anyway, so the last thing I am is surprised.” “WHAT?! DIVORCE??!!! What happened???” “To be honest, I couldn’t tell you. I’m still trying to figure it out. But enough about me. I don’t want to bring you down.” I say as I reengage manual mode to pick up speed. Sliding over and pacing back up to 70 now that we’re outside of the city, we head for Lou Malnati’s. Parked across the street at the bank, as the restaurant’s small parking lot is full, the four of us head in and seek some shelter from the quickly deteriorating weather situation outside. Last the TAF predicted, a light winter storm was expected to traverse the region, predicting some -SN or FZRA. Nevertheless, I soon get giddy as I preorder the pizzas for dinner. All small, one Malnati Chicago Classic, one Cheese, and The Lou. Basically the entire lineup of non-BYO pies, we have all the bases covered with Lou’s lean sausage as the meat of choice, in fact made of lean pork and not turkey as I originally thought. Anyway, we’re soon seated and drinks ordered. Water all around, plus coffee for Twi and I. After I take my first sips of coffee, I take a deep breath and exhale serenely, now that we’re seated for dinner. “Alright, the pizzas have been preordered to reduce our wait time. If you want something else besides pizza like bruschetta or garlic cheese bread, we can order that now.” “Ooh! Garlic cheese bread!” Twi drools. “And the bruschetta.” I add. “I have a weakness for tomatoes, basil and cheese together.” “Bruschetta, caprese, and margarita pizzas must be impossible to resist then.” “Actually, just the former two.” “Alright!” Our waiter says after delivering our drinks, “did we want to order any appetizers? Bruschetta, garlic cheese bread?” “Actually, those two please!” “Perfect! I’ll get those going for you!” “Thank you!” “Let’s pace ourselves here.” Applejack says. “We have the pizzas coming, the stuff in the car, and now this?” “Tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella. How can you say no? Besides, I ordered smalls. One slice of each apiece.” “That’s still 3 pieces of pizza, sugar cube. That’s an awful lotta food.” “Trust me, if you’re hungry, this’ll be enough. Plus, with the steaks, we can split those evenly.” “Oh alright…” AJ responds with doubt. “Besides, if there’re leftovers, it’ll be good for you. Twily can have some more meat before you return to Equestria. Which, by the way, when do you leave?” “Either tomorrow or the day after. The portal can be opened at any time, but it can be a pain to reopen.” “Oh?” “Yeah. It’s a long story.” “Well, if it isn’t too much trouble, I’d love to take a trip. I can’t say that enough.” “Of course. Like I said in the car, you’ll be welcome, no matter your species.” “Thank you, I appreciate that. Just one other question.” Before I can ask it, our appetizers arrive. I go straight for the obvious, while the other three practically salivate at the warm, steamy, melty garlic cheese bread. This batch is quite pungent, as I can smell the essence of garlic almost enough to say a scent bomb went off. Nevertheless, that one goes quickly, but Twily decides to have some of mine as well, as the scent of the fresh vegetables I imagine is a nice reminder of home. I eat about half the plate and give the rest to the Princess of Friendship. I don’t even touch the garlic cheese bread, which is fine by me. When those dishes get cleared, I enjoy some more coffee and listen away as the other three start talking about things. I then check my phone and find a few messages via text, social media, and email. No outstanding circumstances to worry about, I put my phone away just as the pizzas arrive. Each pie is cut into fourths, so each of us gets a plate with one slice of each on it. “Alright! Friendly reminder that one slice is cheese, one slice is tomatoes, mushrooms and spinach; and the third is sausage.” Since all the slices are perfectly distributed, all 3 pizza dishes are taken away, leaving us with a pretty clear table, which works out nicely, because at the risk of sounding obvious, I’m never comfortable at a crowded table. “Mmm!” Twily says as she bites into her sausage. “I love this!” “Is it worth coming over to this world?” “It’s not bacon, and it doesn’t really taste as good, but this pizza is delicious!” She says between bites. “I’d love to bring my friends over here if and when we all have the time!” “You think any of them would be resistant to the concept of omnivorism?” I ask semi-rhetorically. “My Fluttershy would likely be devastated.” “I can imagine. This world’s Fluttershy tries to avoid eating meat but isn’t uncomfortable eating it.” “Sure. I doubt that any of them could get past the fact that animals here are not the same as they are in Equestria.” “I mean there’re some though.” Twi says. “The traditionally domesticated animals like cats and dogs.” “Fair enough. I would imagine though that even despite that, your friends, Twily, would have a hard time making that dissociation.” “Probably. They’d likely enjoy it here though.” “It’s not a bad place, but I’ve only lived in this world, so…” “I won’t argue.” Twily responds as she continues to eat. Author's Note Bonus points if you can decipher the chapter title.
Calculating the Volume of a CylinderWhile I did rack up an appetite, for some reason the pizza doesn’t seem to fill me up like the other three. Applejack especially shows a definite appreciation at being able to have Chicago style pizza, which she made clear was one of her favorites at our first holiday gathering. Since she chose to sit next to me, I lean over and whisper, “You want any more of mine?” “Uh, I’ll take your sausage.” “Phrasing!” Twi exclaims from the end of the table. “S’all good, AJ.” I say as I slide my slice onto her plate. “Don’t know why, just not getting that satisfaction of eating it. Which is weird, because I’ve never not enjoyed eating Chicago deep dish, especially Lou’s.” “You okay? Nothing ailin’ ya, right?” “No. I’m not sick and I don’t feel sick. I don’t even know what I’m feeling.” “Well,” Twi begins hypothesizing, “it could be that you’re suffering from excessive sugar intake.” “I don’t like drinking a lot of soda. I try to only drink caffeinated sodas when I’m on long trips that usually include red eyes. And even then I’ll have energy drinks or coffee or tea instead.“ “Do you drink a lot of energy drinks?” “No. Usually less than 5 a year.” “Okay… how about your diet overall?” “I try to keep myself to 1,200 calories a day. Normally I…” “Wait a minute!” AJ shouts. “1,200?! Are you serious?” “Yeah. I trained myself to keep my counts down because my mouth is bigger than my stomach. Plus, it’s a remnant from when I was younger. My dad had a stroke at 50. I was 23 at the time. 8 days he was in hospital, and for 7 of those days I got fat shamed by almost all of my relatives. Ever since then, I’ve severely limited my intake just because I got so self-conscious.” “Some family ye’ had there, sugar cube.” Applejack responds. “They’ve disowned ‘ya, they fat shamed ‘ya, they refused ta’ listen t’ya…” “Your family disowned you?” Twily says with a concerned look. “They did.” I respond with a sad smile, “it was years ago though. I’d happily tell you the story, but not here. Next time though.” “I’m really sorry you had to endure that.” “There’s no need to apologize. I saw it coming a mile away, and I knew that it was inevitable. Can we change the subject? I don’t want to depress you.” “Maybe you have a tapeworm?” Twi then says quickly. “Twilight!” Applejack exclaims. I only let out a few hearty chuckles. “Ha! You would know if I had a tapeworm.” “Not really.” Twi responds shyly. “You’re skinny enough as it is.“ “And proud of it. 6’5” and 142 lbs. A nice change from when I used to be fat.” “And how big were ‘ya then?” AJ asks between bites. “265. I got a lap band a few years before I met my daughter’s mother. Bottomed out at 128 over that time. I looked like an abandoned dog.” “Not much of a change from now.” Twi responds rolling her eyes. “Thank you, I take that as a compliment!” “Seriously, how have you not died yet?” “I don’t know. The whole reason I got the lap band was to drop my weight to help with my blood pressure. I lost all that weight but my blood pressure is still high. Easier to manage, but still high.” “Sorry to say,” Twi butts in, “but you don’t look good. Every time I see you, I wonder how you stay so thin.” “I just told you. 1,200 calories a day, I read labels, minimize my cholesterol, sugar, and sodium intake, limit my intake times, and I drink a lot of water. Can we please talk about something else?” “Ok. Sorry.” “It’s fine. I’d just rather not talk about it here. And besides, I weigh less than Rosalina.” “I know.” Thankful we averted a crisis, AJ takes the slice she wants, so I finish my coffee. Slowly, as the other three enjoy their pizzas, me keeping mostly to myself, I suddenly find a text from my group chats pop up. “Hey sis,” my cousin says, “do you know when our Hawaii trip is and where are we going?” Not 2 minutes later does the response comes, “it’s in 2 weeks. We’re going to Honolulu so we can see Auntie’s condo, stay there a week then spend another week on Maui.” “Sweet.” “You know, I’ve always wondered what would happen if both our families would join us. I kind of miss them.” “Yeah, it’d be nice to have the 5 of us on vacation.” “5?” “Yeah, you, me, and the other 3 cousins.” “What are you talking about? We only ever had 2 other cousins.” I chuckle slightly, knowing that my brother and sister are the only cousins they have now, sorry, ever had. “What’s so funny, sugar cube?” “Oh, nothing. Just a funny text conversation.” “How are we doing?” Our waiter asks for the third time since the pizzas arrived. “Need any more refills? Coffee? Water?” “Water, please.” I ask handing him my glass. A few seconds later, my phone buzzes. “You know we did have a third cousin, right?” “Would you stop?! You know just as well as I do that we weren’t given a choice, and we stick with family no matter what. He didn’t. It was his choice to do what he did. He did it to himself. As far as we’re concerned, we only have two cousins. End of story.” “Gee whiz.” I audibly whisper. “If you want to stick with your family, you may as well cut all ties.” “What’s that now?” Twily asks curiously. “Just a conversation about a business dealing. They don’t know if they want to discontinue a joint venture because the profit margin is starting to narrow, even though sales are really high, it’s just getting too expensive to work together.” “That’s interesting.” Twi says. “Normally a joint venture is created to bring costs down. How would this joint venture increase costs?” “Your guess is as good as mine.” “Were we interested in dessert tonight?” Our waiter then asks after returning with my water. “I’m alright.” I say, with the other three hesitating slightly before concurring. “No problem. I’ll get your bill ready.” “Thank you!” I finish my last cup of coffee by popping some pills for stomach pain, but those don’t go unnoticed. “What was that you just took?” Applejack asks worriedly. “Just some Advil. I need it for my stomach. It’s been uneasy these past few days.” “You okay?” “Yeah. Probably had some food gone past its best-by date.” “What could that be? You never eat.” “Yeah I do.” I say gesturing towards the bill. “Ye’ take laxatives or somethin’?” “Did.” “I don’t know how you do it.” “Believe me, if I knew, I’d tell you. Speaking of, I can’t help but feel that most of the conversation tonight was mostly about me.” “That’s because you were the one who showed us the city.” “I mean, I wanted to talk about you, but all we seemed to do was talk about me.” “Well, if I’m honest,” AJ begins, “there was a bit where it kinda did seem that way, but I don’t got nothin’ to say on the matter.” “Max, there were times you did make it a lot about yourself, but for good reason. I can see you have a special connection to Chicago, and you couldn’t have done a better job at showing it today.” Twi adds. “Well, thank you. I was only born here, but I always considered Chicago home. I’m glad I can show some hometown pride, even though I can’t even call Chicago home, so to speak.” “Don’t you own like 3 places here?” “6 actually. Spire, Hancock, my first house, my mother’s first house, my mother’s first home, an apartment actually located on LSD; and the airport.” “You really do love this city.” Twi says rolling her eyes. “More than I should, my obsession is unhealthy.” I respond very matter of fact. “You don’t have an unhealthy obsession, you’re just proud.” Applejack reassures me. “I appreciate that, but it’s unfortunately true. I wish I could say the same shows with Rosalina. I do love her with all my heart, but I also know that no matter how hard I fight, this is what she wants.” “Max,” Twi says stopping me as quick as she can, “I know that this is your first Valentine’s Day without Rosalina, and I understand it would be difficult for you. Applejack told me everything, and it worked out nicely too. I brought Twily over so she could experience a parallel holiday. In fact, knowing what you were going through, I was trying to show that Valentine’s Day is not exclusively romantic. It was Applejack’s idea to invite me, and I was absolutely thrilled to be able to bring Twily because of how great a friend you were! Max, I know you hate being the center of attention, but would love to see your efforts put a smile on somebody’s face without getting recognized for it! Guess what? You did just that!” Shocked by her sudden assertion, I say, “Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way.” Then, sudden realization hits me a fraction of a second later. “It’s getting late, by the way. We should go so you don’t get back to Indianapolis too late.” “Oh, yeah. Thank you for your consideration.” After we climb in and I get the heater running, a quick check reveals only one area of slow traffic and an OAT of 31°, surprisingly warm for Chicago in the middle of February. Nevertheless, I make for Peotone at a manageable speed. Enough to pass most of the traffic but avoidable by police radar, I then hit the brakes at Jane Byrne, our one slow spot. Most of the ride home is silent, but I notice Twily staring at the city skyline, which I smile at. When the city is no longer visible, I pick up speed slightly to make up for lost time. In time to beat an incoming rain system, I reach the airport and immediately get the airplane warmed up and ready. After fetching the equipment and checking fluid levels, I spray Type I deicing fluid on the wings. This is a high temperature and high pressure fluid used to clear away already-accumulated ice. Right before pushback, I’ll apply Type IV fluid on the wings and fuselage. This type of fluid forms a relatively thick film layer on the wing, melting accumulated ice and preventing further accumulation, and shears off above 100 knots, if it doesn’t wear off before then. I turn on all the cabin lights and check for any anomalies. Applejack follows behind me and decides to jump in the right seat. When I complete the interior inspection, I ask if she wants to sit in the cabin. Replying no, I turn off all the cabin lights and turn on all the lights in the cockpit. Time for the aircraft lights check. Beacon, strobes, nav, taxi, landing, wing/pulse, and panel lights all check, nothing inoperative. Leaving the beacon and nav lights on, I have Applejack come out so we can say goodbye to the Twilights. “Well Twi, it was a lot of fun. I’m so glad you were able to come, and thank you for introducing me to Twily.” “Aw shucks. Come by and visit me when you can.” “I’d like that.” “Twily. It was very lovely to meet you. I do apologize for seeming not myself, but I promise you’ll get to meet more of the real me as we continue to get to know each other. If that’s okay with you.” Blushing slightly, Twily responds with, “I’m grateful for the opportunity to come. I’m really glad I met you. I enjoy making friends and meeting new people, and you’re no exception.” “Can I get a hug?” “Absolutely.” Both Twilights say as we all hug. “Come on, Applejack!” Twi calls. “Group hug!” “Oh alright!” AJ responds playfully. “Have a safe journey.” I say letting the other three go. “Please be careful on the way back, and text me when you reach home. I’ll probably be airborne when you do, so if you don’t mind, include a time stamp?” “Will do!” Twi responds with another hug. “I hope to see you soon, Twily.” I say with an individual hug to her. “It’s a pleasure meeting you!” “Me too! Hopefully I can bring my other friends next time!” “I’d like that!” “Bye!” The two of them call simultaneously as her engine starts. The sound of her V8 starting up cold is quite an exciting one as the signature idle echoes across the ramp as I head back to the airplane. Just as I climb up the jetway, she begins her journey home, so I send her a text. “Hey, if you need petrol, head to my gas pumps. Free of charge.” “Yes please, thank you!” Once I get settled, I tell Applejack, “we’re gonna be here for at least a half hour. I have to deice the airplane before we get going.” “Anythin’ I can do to help?” “Uh, I don’t think so.” “Okay.” “Thank you though.” She smiles as I submit my flight plan for filing. Right after that, I tune the airport’s ATIS to get some weather information. “Gusty Garden Airport information India, 0214Z. Wind 100 at 5, visibility 9, light freezing rain. Sky condition: few clouds at 2,500, broken 3,500, overcast 3,900. Temperature -1, dew point 1, altimeter 29.91. Advisory: all runways restricted access, prior permission required. Advise on initial contact, you have information India.” After I listen for another loop, I double check what I have written down. “KSMG, I, 0214Z, 100/5 9SM -FZRA, FEW025 BKN035 OVC039, -1/1 A2991.” “Alright. Weather’s copied. I’ll check again after I apply the fluid. Get comfortable AJ, this might take a while.” She gives me a thumbs up as I prepare to add Type IV. Laying it all on nice and slow, I watch as the film starts to take shape on the wing, forming a semi-gelatinous cover that absorbs the light rain crystals that come into contact with it. The green dye starts to show indicating it is Type IV fluid. Across the entire wing and the leading edge of my namesake, I quickly drive over to the other side and repeat the process. When I return to the cockpit, we’re 20 minutes past our planned departure, so I get going quickly. A double run of the checklist confirms all aboard. Cargo secure before I checked the lights, all doors armed and checked. I give AJ a passenger brief then retract the jetway, then start the electric Tug, both via Bluetooth. I initiate the pushback with a little bit of wheel slip. Fortunately, it gains traction nicely not too much later, and I push back and start her up. “Chicago departure, Boeing 265AK, IFR to Fort Smith.” “Boeing 265AK, Chicago departure. Full route clearance available, advise when ready to copy.” “Stand by, 265AK.” “Let’s get to the runway.” “You want me to write stuff down fer’ ya?” “You can try. Let me pull up my map. You can try and find the points.” “Okay?” “You know what?” I ask as I peer out my window, “go ahead and find points on the map as they give them to us. We’re clear of the terminal ramp, so I can just copy it here.” I finish as I stop the airplane after moving just clear of the terminal ramp. Control surfaces check. Trim set, flaps 5 for takeoff. “Go ahead and call them. The push to talk is that red button right by the thumb, and our call sign is ‘Boeing 2-6-5-Alpha-Kilo.’” “Okay…” “Boeing 265AK, r…ready.” “Boeing 265AK, cleared to Fort Smith Airport via CARYN ARLYN STL HESTN ZALDA CASKS IZOVU. On departure, maintain 10,000. Expect FL300 10 minutes after departure. Departure this frequency, squawk 2223.” “I’ll take it, Applejack.” “Cleared to Fort Smith via CARYN, ARLYN, St. Louis, HESTN, ZALDA, CASKS, IZOVU, 10,000 on departure, expect FL300 10 minutes after departure, departure 124.55, squawk 2233, Boeing 265AK.” “Boeing 265AK, squawk 2223, all else correct. Clearance void 30 minutes from now.” “2223, void in 30 minutes, 265AK. Talk to you on the go.” Quickly, we taxi out to runway 11. Short of the runway, I look both ways, key the mic 5 times to turn on the runway lights, then turn on all the aircraft lights. Thrust set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green. 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Flaps up.
Pizza Status: Got“Chicago departure, Boeing 265AK, off Gusty Garden, 2,000 climbing 8,000.” “Boeing 265AK, Chicago Departure, radar contact 1 mile south of Gusty Garden 2,400. Turn left direct CARYN, climb and maintain 8,000.” “Position checks, climb and maintain 8,000, left direct CARYN, 265AK.” As we cross the delimitation zone of 10,000, I set climb power and let the airplane fly itself. As I closely monitor the situation, I wait for performance numbers to stabilize before I tell Applejack, “Alright, we’re just a few minutes from cruising. 45 minutes to Fort Smith.” “Nice.” She yawns. “I know this is probably the worst time and place for me to pry, but can we talk about my last night on the farm?” “Sure? I mean, you laid everything out that you needed to. And I have been thinking about it.” “Well, if I may, I don’t want to sound too repetitive, but I really do like you, Applejack. I couldn’t bear not to tell you.” “Why? You could’ve told me that any other time.” “Except now.” “Well, obviously. I know Twi’s got a thing for you though.” “Well, that’s because we started bonding over the fact that we chose careers that were not in any way motivated by money. I’m sure you can imagine.” “Actually, yea’. Cliche as it sounds, I really can’t see myself anywhere else than on the farm.” “As I couldn’t see myself stuck in a career that even with a relatively high pay grade I wouldn’t enjoy. I would probably do the dentist thing.” “Stop.” “What? I wasn’t going anywhere with that.” “I know, but I always stop ‘ya because I care. I would hate to hear the news of someone I care about killin’ themselves.” “I’m sorry, speaking to someone who lost both her parents at a very young age, especially to whom you were very close.” “Hey, I have my challenges, you have yer’s. I couldn’t imagine hearing Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, or Big Mac tell me that I was no longer an Apple. Trust me, I’ve had nightmares about that, especially for the reason why.” “I can imagine.” “Now that it’s just us, would you mind sharing some more details on your disownment?” “I don’t mind, but there really isn’t much of a story to tell. The full story will take more than an hour in the air, and that’s before sterile cockpit. I’ll promise to tell you though, the next time it’s just us.” I say offering my hand. “Alright sugar cube!” She says shaking on the deal. “You have my word, but on the condition it’s just us. You’re the only one I trust to tell the whole story to without too much fanfare.” When she releases my hand, I add, “I’m sure you know. Pinkie Pie would bum out and probably start crying. Rainbow Dash would tell me to shrug it off and move on, Fluttershy wouldn’t make it halfway without crying, Twi would pick apart the argument and probably find fault on my part, Sunset would go into detail explaining the psychology behind the family’s decision to disown me, and Rarity would find ways to distract me from telling it.” “Unfortunately, I do have to agree with ‘ya on that, except Twi. She’d state it as fact, but she’d still feel for you.” “Right. I’m not saying she wouldn’t, but she would be very objective. And I like that about her.” “So do I, sugar cube.” “Glad we’re both on the same page. Now that it’s just you and me, are you comfortable talking about my last night on the farm?” “Wha’cha wanna talk about?” “C’mon Applejack. You already know.” “Oh, that.” “All I want is for you to be honest with me. I don’t care what you say as long as you’re honest.” There is a long pause. I’ll take the word that Applejack though she has dated in the past isn’t good with romantic feelings. I always knew that. Even so, I butt in again to break the silence, “Well, Applejack?” “I know I said I’d been thinking about it often, but I never really gave it much more thought. I have to think about it.” “Boeing 265AK, descend and maintain 3,000, slow to 160 knots, proceed direct IZOVU, cleared RNAV GPS runway 26 approach. Contact Fort Smith Tower on 118.3.” “3,000, 160 knots, direct IZOVU, cleared RNAV GPS 26, over to tower, thanks for the help, Boeing 265AK.” Enter sterile cockpit, still no response from Applejack. “Fort Smith tower, Boeing 265AK, out of 6,500 descending 3,000, direct IZOVU, RNAV GPS 26 approach.” “Boeing 265AK, Fort Smith tower. Additional traffic inbound same approach a CRJ-200. Proceed straight-in on the approach. Report final approach fix inbound.” “Straight-in, report HOLGO inbound, Boeing 265AK.” “I’m sorry Sugarcube. I just don’t feel the same way.” “Fort Smith tower, SkyWest 3739, 4 miles from IZOVU, RNAV GPS 26.” “SkyWest 3739, Fort Smith tower, hold as published at UCAXE, slow to 150 knots, report established.” “Hold as published at UCAXE, 150 knots, report established, SkyWest 3739.” “Boeing 265AK, runway 26, cleared to land.” “I’m sorry Sugarcube. I just don’t feel the same way.” “Oh what a relief.” I think to myself as I focus on landing, telling ATC, “cleared to land 26, 265AK.” 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown, spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. 35 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “N265AK, right on A, taxi TAC Air via A, remain this frequency.” “Right A, A to TAC Air, stay with you, 265AK.” “You okay? Did you hear me?” “I did, and I’m glad that’s out in the open.” When we park, I shut everything down but leave the APU on, since I’m wheels up in less than 30 minutes. After I check the APU, I disarm L1, drop the airstair, and ask if she has her keys. “Well, thanks for the food, sugar cube.” “Of course! I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.” “It doesn’t.“ “Boy am I glad.” I say as we walk in. We share another hug before she asks, “I’ll see ya soon, yea?” “Yeah. I’m not going anywhere soon.” “Bye, Max.” She responds as she heads out. “See ya real soon!”
