I'm Peni Parker. The FUCK?!
Chapter 4
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“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sci-Twi says in a deadpan as we sit in the Sugar Cube Corner Café.
We’ve just finished explaining things as best we can to her without letting it be too much of an overload.
“I can talk now, Twilight,” Spike says, looking up at her from her in arms. “I think “doesn’t make any sense” makes a lot more sense than it should.”
“And… neither of you are from this world at all?” she looks to between Sunset and myself.
“Well, Sunset comes from Equestria,” I glance at the bacon-haired girl. “Scarab and I come from a different human world, but got sent to Equestria, our entire beings changed.”
“So… what would happen if Spike and I went to that world?” she asks hesitantly.
Sunset frowns, rubbing her chin, while I lean back, hands behind my head. “Well, logically, any being on this side of the portal who goes to Equestria will turn into whatever their Equestrian counterpart is. Yours is an Alicorn Princess, so you should turn into an Alicorn yourself.”
I say should because of that stupid detail in Spring Breakdown where, despite her getting Alicorn wings whenever she Ponies Up, Sci-Twi becomes a normal unicorn when she goes through the portal.
“What about me?” Spike asks eagerly.
“You’d become a baby dragon,” Sunset chuckles.
The dog frowns, seeming to think it over, before shrugging. “Eh. Baby or not, a dragon is still a dragon, right?”
We all giggle in agreement.
“Um, what are you doing, Twilight?”
We all turn to see Sugarcoat and the rest of the Shadowbolts who are on Crystal Prep’s team for the games. They’ve all got folded arms and very disapproving looks on their faces.
“T-talking with my new friends?” she replies nervously.
Lemon Zest looks confused. “Friends? With CHS students? Why would you wanna be friends with them?”
“Maybe because the students at her own school are jerks!” I snap, causing them as well as the others to all flinch at the fierceness in my tone. “All you girls have done since even before you all left for the games was ridicule Twilight and put her down, as if treating her horribly is meant to make her want to be better. Heck, the only one of you who really did anything nice for her was Lemon Zest, sharing her headphones because she thought Twilight would like the music she was listening to!”
“Well… that’s not true,” Indigo Zap says, before looking uncertain. “Right?”
Sci-Twi looks down, holding Spike closer.
“Name me one single thing any of you have said to Twilight since these games started that wasn’t demeaning to her,” Sunset says, standing up, walking around and standing by the other girl, putting a hand on her shoulder.
All five of them go quiet, mumbling to themselves or rubbing an arm.
“Didn't think so,” Dash says firmly. “Now, we’ve still a few hours before the final round, so unless you lot have something you actually need to talk to Twilight about, how about leaving us alone and letting her enjoy some time with people who actually care about her?”
They all look like they want to argue, but several other patrons are now watching us.
The Shadowbolts all remain silent and leave.
The moment they’re gone, Sci-Twi lets out a huge breath, her body visibly sagging as the tension leaves her.
“Man, that was tense,” Pinkie says, looking from the door to us.
You deserve way better, girl, Sci-Twi gives a small yelp at the feeling of Scarab putting a leg end on her knee, but calms when she sees it’s him who did it, while I translate.
She thanks him uncertainly and watches as he scuttles back over to me, up my arm and onto my shoulder. “So, you really understand him?”
I nod, glancing at the little guy. “We’ve been in this together since the start. I’m the only one who seems able to understand him, but he is quite smart. He may be a spider now, but he still has the mind of a human.”
“So, does anyone have any idea how we can get our magic back out of Twilight’s device?” Rarity asks.
I reach into my pocket, pulling out the still sealed device. “We’ll be better off waiting til the games are over, I think. It’ll give us more time to work on it, especially if Twilight joins us on her days off.”
“I’m really sorry, girls,” Sci-Twi says as I pocket the thing again. “If I’d known what my device would do, I swear, I never would’ve brought it. Heck, I never would’ve even built it.”
“So, after the games, how long til you’ll have to go back to Crystal Prep?” Fluttershy asks.
“Not for a while, I hope,” Spike says before his owner can even open her mouth. “I like it around here. It’s a much nicer environment than Crystal Prep. Plus, Twilight doesn’t have to hide me from everyone.” He cocks his head in thought. “Wait. Is the reason you guys aren’t worried about me talking in public because of that other Twilight you mentioned?”
I nod. “Her Spike turns into a dog just like you when he crosses over and everyone learned he could talk shortly before the end of their first visit. A talking dog around here isn’t weird to anyone at all.”
“Cool,” he grins, yipping happily.
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“Since the score’s tied, the final event will determine the winner of the Friendship Games,” Dean Cadance calls over the mic as everyone is gathered outside the front of the school.
Vice Principal Luna takes the mic and holds up two small flags, each with either the Crystal Prep or CHS logo and in their respective colours. “Somewhere on campus, a pennant from each school has been hidden. The first team to find their school’s flag and bring it back wins.”
Dean Cadance smiles out at the crowd. “And as soon as our teams are ready, we’ll begin.”
“Well, see you after the games,” Sci-Twi smiles, handing Spike to myself. “Good luck and may the best team win.”
“Good luck to you, too, Twilight,” Sunset nods.
The girl smiles, waves and runs off to join the rest of her team, the members of whom don’t meet her eyes, their expressions full of guilt… while Cinch is just giving her a cold stare.
“Remind me to see if Dean Cadance left any mic bugs in Cinch’s office before a few days ago,” I murmur to Spike.
The dog looks up at me with a cock eyebrow. “Huh? Why?”
I look towards Cinch, who is talking with a stern expression to Sci-Twi, whose shoulders are hunched over. “Because blackmailing one of your students and threatening to interfere with her future education is more than enough to get a certain person fired.”
“If both teams are ready?” Vice Principal Luna says over the mic.
The girls nod, spending out towards the centre, the Shadowbolts, being watched by a glaring Cinch, following suit.
“The last event of the Friendship Games begins…” Dean Cadance calls over her own mic, everyone tensing, her an Vice Principal Luna shouting in unison, “Now!”
“Ah, I think not, dear school heads. I think not.”
I, along with everyone else, glance around, confused as to where the amplified mystery voice just came from.
“Uh, is this part of the games?” Spike asks, glancing up at me.
I shake my head, only for my eyes to widen as my Spider Sense goes off.
Aw, crap. What now? Scarab asks, looking around.
A loud animalistic roar causes all our attention to move to the roof of the school, only for screams of panic to ensue as what looks like a large green Asian dragon comes flying from over the roof and down towards the stands.
“Shit!” I toss Spike to the ground and web swing up, using the momentum and kick the dragon, causing it to go back in the air, before it turns, snarling at me.
Dragons, in this world? Scarab looks to me from my shoulder. I am so confused.
“You and me both,” I say, web lining the dragon’s face as it comes back at me, using it to propel myself upwards and run over its head and across its back. “This sure as fuck didn’t happen in the movie.”
“All students, inside the school, NOW!” Principal Celestia yells into the mic.
Every student, Crystal Prep or CHS, it doesn’t matter, they hightail it into the school.
“You think it would be so simple?”
I leap off the dragon and stick to a nearby wall with just my feet and one hand, looking around for the speaker. What the hay is going on around here?
“There she is! Blast ’er!”
I blink. I recognize that southern drawl. I have mere seconds after before my Spider Sense goes off and I leap off the wall, just as it explodes.
Landing with a flip through the air, I see several men in suits with missile launchers in their arms.
Are you bloody kidding me?!
Quickly scanning them all, I stop one who looks a little familiar. flat-cut black hair, average mustache.
Herman Schultz, aka Shocker? Scarab looks to me in confusion. Does that mean this attack is on King Pin's orders?
Heck, if I know.
“Watch out!” I look around to see Dash save Sunny Flare from being trampled by a second dragon that has come from God only knows where.
What is going on?! Scarab yells.
Dash Ponies Up, while the others help several students from both schools who fell over.
“I wish I damn well knew!” I growl.
One of the dragons roars, before it charges down, chasing after Rainbow, who flies to keep away from it.
“Taser Webs!” I yell, running and leap up.
I feel a prick at my neck as I fire my webs at the beast, before electricity surges through them and they make contact with the beast.
It screams, sparking, before a small explosion happens near its tail.
I blink as I soar through the air. Wait, what?
Frowning, I land on the dragon’s back and fire more Taser Webbing. The beast roars again, its movements becoming sluggish, before it’s right eye seems to explode.
I shield my face with an arm, before moving it down and seeing… a busted mechanical eye?
“Well, this has certainly been fun. But I have a schedule to keep. Cadunt ad hostem supplex adfare! ”
At once, I feel like my body’s gotten unbearably heavy, my legs giving in and I fall off the dragon, hitting the ground, hard, as does everyone else fall to the ground.
A light chuckle comes from above and I strain to push my neck up, gritting my teeth and my eyes widen before they narrow at what, or rather, whom I see.
Floating down on another dragon is someone dressed in a green outfit with a large sphere around their head obscuring it from view.
“Mysterio!” I snarl. “Should’ve figured. But, how are you even here?”
That makes two Spiderman villains we’ve encountered in this world already? And in the span of a few minutes. If there’s two of ’em, there's probably more. Though this seems to be before Schultz’s Shocker days. Maybe Scarab wasn’t too far off on the King Pin theory.
Mysterio hops off his dragon, chuckling as he walks over to me.
“Dear child, why would I not come, when you have led me to my prize?”
He reaches down and into my pocket, pulling out Twilight’s device.
“What? You know you’re magic’s fake, so you wanna steal others?” I demand, struggling to fight what I now know is just a colourless, odourless gas. “You don’t know the first thing about real magic!”
I feel like he’s giving me an odd look. “Real magic? Dear child, you know as well as I, it does not exist. Whatever energy is within this device that can alter a being's genetic code, however? Now that, I can put to use. And I must thank you for leading me to the doorway to that other world.”
Alter genetic code? What the heck’s he babbling about? And he comes from the MARVEL universe! How does he not know magic is real? And other world? What does he…?
My eyes widen and I snarl. “You’re planning on going to Equestria!”
He chuckles, indicating to all the suited men, who’ve gathered up everyone, Dash even being held down by ropes. “My men have been looking for a target with your abilities. At first, we thought we could use you, but then you talked about another world, devoid of the technology of our own.”
He holds his hands to the sky.
“Imagine it, a world where, like if one were to travel back in time, any form of advanced technology would be mistaken for magic. I will finally be treated with the respect and wealth I truly deserve. And I have a feeling,” he smashes his glowed hand against the foam, causing it to shatter, revealing Sci-Twi’s device, “that whatever is within this device will give my body the alterations it needs to pass into that world.”
He opens it.
“No!” I scream, my Spider Sense going haywire.
At once, there’s a booming just like in the movie, a sphere of white energy expanding, consuming Mysterio.
Shit. Shit, this is not good. Not good at all!
The light fades, revealing nothing visibly different aside from the fact he’s now glowing, but my Spider Sense is telling me looks and getting a glow aren’t what changed here.
He gives an evil laugh, red eyes appearing on the helmet, leering down at me. “This... this power. You were right! I didn’t believe in magic before, but I do now!”
He fires a blast of magic from his hands at the Wondercolts statue, causing it to explode. The explosion distracts Mysterio’s goons though, giving the girls the chance to fight them off and make a break for it with the other students.
“Equestria!” Sunset stops as the portal indeed shows the other world, just like in the movie.
He fires more blasts at the fleeing students, the girls helping push them out of the way, avoiding being hit, more tears forming between the two worlds.
“Peni, get up,” Fluttershy helps me stand up.
I shake my head, clearing it, nodding in thanks to her.
“Uh, Boss?!” He glances down at the group of men, at least twenty, though without the future Shocker present, who are all standing together, looking uncertain. Schultz must have hightailed it outta here after we all started fighting back. “What do you want us to do now?”
Mysterio laughs… and it sends chills down my spine. Even without Spider Sense, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
“Thank you all for your help,” he say, an orb of flames appearing in his right hand. “However, your services are no longer required.”
He throws the orb towards the men. They all yell in fear, trying to run away, but the orb hits the ground and explodes in a flash of light.
When it fades, the men are still standing there, though they look grey… and my eyes widen in horror as they blow away, ash in the wind.
I gape, not believing what I’d just seen, before my eyes narrow and I fire a web at the now magically infused Mytersio. Sure, it’s not everyone’s magic, since Twilight only took Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity’s magic, but a Mysterio with magic at all is bad news. He literally just murdered twenty guys in cold blood, for crying out loud!
The web hits him, a charge of electricity flowing through it, making me realize Scarab hasn’t stopped biting me, likely because he was stunned by the gas too.
The man glances in my direction. “You can’t do this!”
He just laughs, turning to face me. “Why not?! There’s a whole other world right there, and it’s just filled with magic!”
He fires another blast, it missing Dean Cadance and causing another tear in the world.
“But you’re destroying this world to get it!” Sunset yells and I notice the girls, including Sci-Twi, having gathered behind me.
“So what?” Mysterio cocks his head to the side. “There’s more magic there, and if I'm this powerful with just the fraction I gained from that device, imagine what I could do with a whole world of it!”
He throws both hands forward, energy surging from them and smashing into the ground, causing it to fall away, leaving a giant gaping hole leading to the skies above Ponyville.
Geez, it’s like my Spider Sense won’t freaking stop.
A scream, followed by several voices shouting “Spike!” in alarm causing me to glance back to see Spike falling through the hole.
I fire a web, catching him, Scarab pulling out of my neck to stop the Taser Webs and I yank Spike back, flipping through the air and web swinging towards Mysterio.
I manage to land a kick to his helmet, causing it to shatter, revealing a green skinned man with bright glowing red eyes, with a manic grin on his face.
He yells, a shockwave exploding from him and sending me flying back.
I fire a web and sling over to the lamppost, landing atop it. “I know you feel powerful right now, like you can have everything you want! But you can’t Mysterio. You’re just a two-bit, magic envious criminal.
He cackles. “Oh, you’re wrong. Unlike you think, I can have everything I want!”
“No, you can’t,” We both glance down to see Sunset standing firm, staring up at him, the others around her. “Even with all that magic and power, you’ll still be alone! True magic comes from honesty!” Applejack glows with orange light, “Loyalty!” Dash with cyan, “Laughter!” Pinkie with pink, “Generosity!” Rarity with purple, “Kindness!” Fluttershy with yellow energy. “They make most important magic of all...”
“And while I’ve only known these girls for a short time, I’m not letting you hurt my friends,” Sci-Twi steps forward, herself glowing with lavender light. This seems to catch her off guard and she looks at herself frantically, though Sunset doesn’t notice, herself glowing with red energy.
Mysterio cocks an eyebrow at them. “And what kind of parlor trick is this?”
I snicker.
The girls all look to each other, nod and shout in unison, “The Magic of Friendship!”
At once, they all glow brighter, each Ponying Up, evening Sci-Twi, herself gaining the longer hair, ponies ears and Alicorn wings.
Mysterio blinks and I take my chance.
“Time to try a new webbing,” I nod to Scarab, who nods back and bites me. I aim my web shooter. “Pyro Webs!”
Flames burst from my shooters, wrapping around him,
He yells in pain and anger as he’s dragged to the ground, the flaming webs forming a net around him.
The girls all joins hands, the rainbow energy of the Elements swirling around them, before launching into the air and slamming down on the bound villain.
He yells in fury and pain as he’s stripped of all the magic he’d absorbed and the rainbow goes around, closing all the tears in the world.
A roar, followed by distant screams, makes me realize we forgot about the robot dragons and I web swing towards one, kicking it as hard as I can, causing it to fall backwards and hit the other.
The two machines start falling to the ground, but I start firing webs left, right and centre as fast as I can, wrapping them up, before tying them to a poll and drop to the ground, exhausted, more than I honestly expected.
A beeping causes me to glance down at my web shooters. “VENOM LEVELS: 12.6% Estimated Recovery Time: 12 Hours, 6 minutes.”
I think that’s the highest level and longest we’ve needed to wait yet, Scarab says, scuttling onto my shoulder.
I nod, before dropping, Sunset and Dash catching me.
“Principal Celestia,” an angry voice causes us to look towards the entrance, where Cinch is following after the white woman, “on behalf of Crystal Prep, I demand that you forfeit the Friendship Games! Clearly, CHS has had unfair advantage for quite some time! And it’s certainly obvious that your students have been using magic for their own benefit!
“Is she serious?” Dash asks, looking around at us and the Shadowbolts who they’d saved, but hadn’t been able to get inside.
Principal Celestia gives Cinch a very smug look, though I can tell there’s anger hidden underneath it. “I’d like to think that saving the world benefits us all.”
“Also, how is some crazed man with robotic dragons who attacked our students as much as your own in any way an unfair advantage for us?” Vice Principal Luna points out.
“The CHS students actually saved our lives when that weirdo was attacking us, which makes that twice today they’ve saved our lives from events that were completely out of their control and had nothing to do with them,” Sugargcoat says bluntly.
“They were willing to risk their lives to keep us safe, despite al the things we’ve done to them over the years,” Sour Sweet says sweetly, before saying sourly, “While you pushed us to put ourselves in danger just for your own gains because we were scared to make you disappointed in us.
Principal Cinch looks from us to the other adults. “Obviously my students have been infected with your magic, but I plan on taking all of this up with the school board!”
Principal Celestia smirks. “Good. I’m sure they would be very interested in hearing all about the magical students with wings.”
Vice Principal Luna snickers. “Oh, and the portals to different dimensions opened by a man who attacked both schools’ students that is somehow CHS’s fault.”
“And don’t forget to tell them about the talking dog and girl who fires webs from her arms.” Dean Cadance giggles.
“Because that would never ruin your reputation,” Spike says.
Cinch looks angrily around at all of us, seeming to relax no one is going to back her up on this. Just when she looks like she’s about to burst into a fit of rage, she stops, adjusts her top and walks away.
Principal Celestia steps forward. “Well, I know these Friendship Games haven’t been what any of us expected, but given what we’ve all just been through, I think it’s fair to declare us all winners.”
Unlike in the movie, however, no one cheers.
I glance around, confused as the girls all look amongst themselves, as do all the students who are coming back out.
“No offense, Principal Celestia,” Sunny Flare says, stepping forward, “but, win or lose, we at Crystal Prep wanna finish, this for real.”
The rest of the Cystal Prep students voice their agreements.
“Same here,” Sunset says firmly, the rest of CHS joining her. “We want to see who will win this, fair and sqaure.”
The three adults looks to each other, surprised, before smiling and nodding.
“Then, tomorrow morning, we’ll have the final match to see which school wins,” Celestia says.
“Though, if I could make a suggestion regarding these games?” I ask, holding up a hand and standing on my own.
They look to me and indicate for me to continue.
I fold my arms. “Well, regardless of how well things go here, there’s a slim chance this could happen again, the rivalry, I mean. These are meant to be the Friendship Games, yet it took a madman overcome by stolen magic almost tearing the world apart to truly pull the schools together. So, after this year, might I recommend the games be cancelled and re-purposed into a Friendship Festival.”
“Like, a gathering where both schools will come together to prepare food, games and entertainment?” Sunset asks.
I nod. “It would certainly help keep the bonds of friendship between the school more so than a sports competition.”
Celestia rubs her chin in thought. “An interesting idea, Peni. Vice Principal Luna, Dean Cadance and I will discuss it later.”
I smile, before turning around, glaring at the still form of Mysterio. “Though, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a villain whom should face Equestrian justice.”
“Uh… shouldn’t we let the police handle that?” Dash asks with concern.
I walk over and web up the man until he’s in a tight ball and lift him over my shoulder. “He knows about the portal and Equestrian Magic and we just saw what he can do with it. The last thing we want is this guy hanging around in this world.”
“So, you’re just taking him into a world where he could very well be a unicorn?” Sunset asks, a skeptical eyebrow raised.
I glance at him. “I dunno. I get the feeling karma’s gonna give us a hand here after the shit he just pulled.” I wave. “Good luck with the final games, everyone. Sunset, message us who won.”
I walk over to the portal and go through.
Coming out the other end, I dump Mysterio on the ground… I burst out laughing, hands on my knees.
Oh, Karma was heavy on him. He’s not a unicorn, he’s not even a pony or any other race in Equestria with actual magic. He’s a donkey. Equestria literally made an ass out of him.
Oh, this is too priceless.
“Um… who is that and why do you have them tied up?”
I try to calm my breathing as I stand up, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Oh, Princess, you have no idea how good this is.”
Author's Note
Surprised a new chapter is out today?
Surprised me too.
I'm still not done unpacking after having moved house, but i had a bit of spare time on my hands, so decided to write this chapter.
Bet none of your were expecting Mysterio to appear.
Anyway, next chapter Peni finally starts living in Equestria... though this isn't her last time going to the EQG world. Mysterio may have been the one monitoring her before, but her actions in stopping him have caught someone else's eye.
Who that is, you'll have to wait and see as i've literally no idea when i'll be able to sit down and get back to writing, so this chapter will have to satisfy you until then.
i've gotta get off now so that i can actually get some shopping done so i can settle in better at the new place.
Hope i did okay with this one and, til next time, later everybody
Edit 10/6/2023: Holy crap! So, i just stumbed upon Variant Comics's Youtube video about Origins of Sp//dr and, I kid you not, I had NO idea I'd unknowingly recreated Peni's first spider villain encounter here, as Mysterio of her universe is the first big bad she went up against.
I had NO proper experience with Peni and her history when I wrote this chapter beyond what little I'd gathered from Into The Spiderverse and its special features, so the fact I somehow recreated Peni's first big bad guy fight without knowing it is so hilarious and honestly eerie to me.
I had no clue Mysterio was her first villain fight until I watched that video less than twenty minutes ago. That is nuts!
The fact no one else has pointed this out to me in the comments? Even crazier!
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