Author's Note

Getting really into writing this. More than the other fics I've tried writing. That's enough out of me, since i don't want to take too much of your time. Enjoy the new chapter!

A Disaster in the Making - Part 3

“You know, it’s times like these that make me appreciate how peaceful this little town of yours is.” You said as you lagged behind Twilight, enjoying the mild breeze blowing by. Twilight on the other hand, or rather hoof, was hyperventilating like a water out of fish. Thanks imagination for that image. She glanced all around the small square outside the library, teleporting around anywhere she thought there might be a hiding green filly.

It would have been amusing, if she hadn’t decided to pick you up with her magic and fling you around the town with her as she teleported. Were she actually all mentally there, you wouldn’t have had a problem with it just from how warm magic felt. But that was not the case, considering being teleported around usually gave you nausea. “Chris Pratt on a crisp rat, Twilight! Focus on casting your spells right or you’re going to teleport me into the ground!”

To which Twilight responded by slowing down and taking a few deep breaths. “No time, Anon! We have to find those homunculi now or all of Equestria could be in danger.” She then animated a holographic depiction of what might happen, at least in her overly paranoid mind. “Magical homunculi are very dangerous, especially when a creature with a high amount of magic is cloned, such as a pony. If we don’t dispel those fillies soon, they could multiply rapidly from sheer magical build-up. If that happens, then there’s no telling how many ponies will be hurt!”

‘Is she serious?’ You thought to yourself. “Twilight, I’m not a pony. Your logic is flawed, mate.”

Purp Drank’s expression seemed to relax a little bit from that, but she still didn’t calm down. “I can’t take that chance, Anon. Ponies didn’t get this far in history by not taking precaution. This has to be done.”

Fuck, she has a point. Ponies were basically like humans, albeit much more empathetic and passive. Sure, there were a couple assholes, like Sombra or that pussy Blueballed or whatever his name was, but it isn’t like there were many cases of murder or environmetal terror. Heck, even Flim and Flam’s greedy asses were mild compared to the dregs of humanity, like Hitler. Or PETA, fuck their anti-meat asses.

But you would rather eat dog crap than to agree with Sparkles the magic horse. You took on a more serious tone, just to make yourself sound smarter. “Again, I think you’re wrong about them Twilight. Example one is that alcoholic laying down in your library. Ponies don’t like alcohol as much as I do, so again smart one, you’re wrong.” Plus, you’d have to be a dumbass to not fucking want to keep Anon FILLIES around. Even if they do turn out to be flesh-eating beasts.

Twilight continued to defend her point of view over the next hour of searching, one of the few traits about her that was actually commendable. Fuck, you’re going soft if you’re thinking Twilight of all ponies was worthy of the same respect you gave Dash or AJ. Whatever the case may be, you were actually starting to get bored of having to look between alleyways and dumpsters. Jesus, you’ve had to rifle through about ten so far and you stink worse than a skunk coated in vomit. If you have to search through one more…

“Goddamnit Twilight, I’m going home.” You blurted, spotting another dumpster after turning the next corner. You were sweaty, grimy, slimy, and all sorts of other -imy. Not to mention that you were pissed to kingdom come from having your favorite suit ruined. “I don’t have time to play ‘hide and seek’ with those bastards you think are threats. They’re just fillies for fuck’s sake!”

Twilight tried to tighten her grip around your body, but failed as you just grabbed ahold of it and threw it into the alley, causing mild spell backlash to the unicorn. She shook her head to recover, turning in your direction and almost tackling your lower half. It would have been sexy, if she weren’t batshit crazy at the moment. “W-where do you think you’re going? You started this wild goose chase and you’re going to help me fix it!”

You really didn’t want to deal with her bullshit anymore today. It’s not like her problems don’t usually solve themselves eventually, just like in the show. Why couldn’t she give you some of that luck and help you land an actual job, instead of having to do favors around town just to make a living. Not that you didn’t mind it, but being used for your height or hands is starting to get stale. You just simply reach down and use your brute tard-man strength to pull her off of you, maneuvering her like a life-size plushie and setting her down on her flanks, scolding her like the child she is acting like. “Listen, it’s been real, and it’s been ‘fun’, if you can even call unnecessary dumpster diving fun, but it hasn’t been real fun. Now, I’m going to turn around, walk home and burn the suit that Rarity made for me, since it’s only useful for fire kindling at this point. If you follow me and try to force me to do ANYTHING else today, I swear I’m going to lose my mind and punt Applejack’s sister like a soccer ball.”

Twilight almost seemed to be buffeted by this. “B-but-”

But you weren’t having it. “NO BUTS. I’m going home.”

You left the purple horse behind you and began to backtrack the path you had both taken, glancing back every now and again to make sure she didn’t decide to try and kidnap you, as entertaining as it would have been to imagine her trying to stuff you into a burlap sack. Along the way down the back roads of Pone-Town, you passed by a few ponies you had met only once or twice, like Lyra or Octavia. Heck, you even saw the CMC running by chasing after a cart full of something, not like you got a good enough look at it to see what was in it. Aside from the occasional hello from the residents or small talk, nothing much happened out of the ordinary.

Well, as ordinary as you could get in a town that lives next to a living magical forest filled with monsters. And the fact that it was filled with talking horses. Regardless, you eventually happened upon the medieval shack you call ‘home’, only something seemed off about it. Something suspicious.

The curtains in your living room window were haphazardly opened, along with the window itself, like someone had tried to open them completely, but pulled them down and onto the small table next to it. Not to mention that the vase with a single rose, YOUR rose, the one and only that had finally bloomed after meticulously caring for the dying bush out front, was missing.

Now, you weren’t a clean-freak by any means, but you always made sure to leave the curtains open just a small amount to give the rose enough light to keep living, even going as far as to set up a small wall of books around the table so you didn’t knock it over while you were drunk.

You gulped down a bit of spit to drown your fury, reaching into your back pocket and pulling out the pocket knife you always carried on you and entered your home with murderous intent. But that intent died down at what sat before you on your couch, eating away YOUR groceries without a care in the world.