This Strange World ( or My Isekai'd Life)

They say a person's life flashes before their eyes when they're about to die. Well, "they" being people who've supposedly back from the brink of death, if anyone buys that crap. If those stories are true, when does my flashback happen? When does my life flash before my eyes? It'd be nice to have something happy to think about before I splatter on the ground.

The ground appeared so far away when I opened my eyes. Hell, I'll be honest and say the ground still feels so far away. It's hard to see shit without glasses. The last thing I can remember is how it hurt to breathe before I opened my eyes. The air was freezing, almost to the point it burned. It looks as if the initial shock has worn off since it's so crystal clear and understandable why I was so freaking cold. I'm naked. Fuck me, I'm naked. Surprised the cold didn't make my little dude go from an outtie to an innie.

Yup, ground is still far away. I wonder what size hole a 5'6", 165lb naked male human makes when they hit the ground face-first. The crater will probably be small and insignificant, much like my life.

Whatever. I don't care at this point. The ground is still so far away. Not to mention, I still can't see shit. Glasses or no glasses, I couldn't see even if I had them since this wind keeps stinging my eyes.

Ok, squinting doesn't help matters. The ground "might" be getting closer. There's still no flashbacks of those "happier" times in my life. I'm not going to even flail my arms about in hoping to fly. If humans were meant to fly, we'd have been born with wings. Is that the right phrase? Know what, I don't care. I'm going to die, so it is the right saying because I say it is the right saying, damn it!

What the hell? I wonder if hallucinations are one of the symptoms of hypoxia. Even without my glasses, I could swear that looks like a blurry vision of a freaking city in the sky, resting on some clouds. There's even a fucking rainbow. Why is there a damn rainbow in a city of the -- don't care, don't care, I'm going to die.

Alright, I'm still falling. At least I saw some great weird shit before I die. Hmm, I wonder if I get to heaven if they'll freeze-frame some of these images from my last moments alive and enhance them like that old show, CSI. Of course, with the amount of assholes on Earth I dealt with in my life that said I deserve a hotter place to rest, I'm probably going "there" when I die.

Finally, it took fucking long enough. I've hit one of those atmospheric layers with clouds. Man, these clouds look fluffy. My hand just passes right through them.

"I'll help you!"

The hell was that? I must be hallucinating like crazy. Hallucinations must be part of hypoxia, or some weird oxygen deprivation to the brain. I could swear a creature was resting on a cloud I just passed.

Alright, ground is getting closer. I'm on an express elevator to hell, going down!

I better savor these final few moments before this shit hurts like hell. As the saying goes, it's not the fall but the sudden stop that kills you.

"Almost there!"

Weird, there's that strange -- wow, that's one perverted hallucination. What zoomed by me looked like some weird creature with wings. Not to mention it had one helluva' body with a nice, large set of knockers.

Shit. I'm not hallucinating. Great, I'm gonna get eaten by a monster before I splat on the ground. I'd better pick my poison in terms of death.

"Gotcha!"

Damn, it's hard to keep my eyes open. I'm so freaking tired.

"W-Where -- nice tits." I said. Damn, smooth move, dumbass.

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me, human." It said.

"Huh?" I said.

The creature's hands wrapped around my chest. I can feel her breasts pressing against my ears. If this is a way to die, it's one hell of a way to die. Pleasure before death, huh? Well, this eight-foot tall, female looking creature can have its way with me cause I'm done. I'm just so damn tired right now.

"Human, are you alright? Human?!" It said.

*** *** ***

Where, am I? I can't move a muscle. My head hurts like hell. I also feel like shit too.

Are those, bags? Yea, they are IV bags. Those are micro-drip lines. I guess someone is giving me IV nutrients or something.

Wow, these lights are bright. Even a blind person could see the brilliant white light reflecting off my white skin.

It looks like my smell is intact. A son raised by a mother who worked in the medical profession never forgets the smell of antiseptic and disinfectant. Not to mention, geez that's some strong, STRONG disinfectant. You could drop an elephant with that kind of smell, or the creature that caught me. If it looks like a hospital and smells like a hospital, it's a hospital alright.

There better be a pan underneath me. My bladder is holding back Niagara Falls. Though, to be honest, I'm probably cathe'd right now. It'd be easier for the attendants to clean up.

Man, what happened to me?

"Here, this is the one."

Huh?

What in God's name is that?! It's a red hand. I'm in hell. I'm so in hell. Shit, I'm sorry I blamed the fart on that old woman in the grocery store. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't use my stomach as a bag-pipe, please!

"Hello, I'm Doctor Transfusion and -- what are you doing?! Nurse!" It said.

"You're not using my stomach as a bag-pipe, demon!" I said. I'm ready to rip the IV out and use this stand as a weapon. "What, what did you do to me? Did you tranq me?"

"Excuse me, did I 'tranq' you? What do you mean?" It said.

"Slip me a Mickey, tranq me up... 'sedate' me." I said.

"Heavens no. That's just Nurse Clamp. Her specialty is relaxation magic to help calm your nerves and muscles." It said.

"E-Excuse me? 'Magic?'" I said.

"What is magic? I'm so sorry. I forgot that you're human and magic may not exist in your world. We know about humans due to Princess Twilight Sparkle's interaction with another world that has humans, but your world probably doesn't know about us." It said.

My body is relaxed alright. Whatever "magic" this creature used has incapacitated my arms and legs, but my vital muscle functions are left intact.

I have to say, this doc is pretty easy on the eyes. It's still creepy when I look at it though. This thing looks like some upright, anthropomorphic equine of sorts. He/She/It looks like some perverted hentai artist's wet dream come to life. Not to mention, her knockers are huge. They're almost... as big as the other one's breasts.

"Is there a problem?" It said.

"Where the hell am I? What is going on?" I said.

"That will take some time to explain." It said.

Great. I fell from some unknown height, got saved by a large breasted creature, and now I'm talking to another large breasted creature. Well, there's one good bit of news. My innie went back to an outtie.

If this is heaven, it's perverted. If this is hell, it's probably going to get way, way, WAY more perverted.

Author's Note

Perverted Jokes ahoy!