Riley Ree

Ponies shouldn't be boring, living with ponies shouldn't be boring, and I was pretty sure it was illegal that being a pony was boring, but it was all was! And for a whole week! I pushed the broom down the hallway again, turned, and did it again. Boooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiinng!

"Ugh, this stupid hallways always gets so dirty," I said as I got to the end again and turned around only to see Dad standing right behind me. "I can't sweep with you standing there, Dad."

He yanked the broom out of my grip with his magic and held it to the side. "You can't sweep without a broom!"

While I stood there staring at my idiot of a dad, he turned and galloped down the hall I'd been sweeping and around the corner.

"Dad!" I took off after him, and despite how silly he was acting and bored I felt, I was laughing. When I rounded the same corner he did, Mom was standing there too with another pony beside her. "Uh…"

"This must be Riley. Gosh but she's a little filly. Are you sure she's ready for school?" the strange pony, a mare, asked Mom.

"I believe you'll want to test her before finding her a class." Mom's tone sounded like she was annoyed at having to repeat herself.

The mare looked back at me, then to Mom. "But she's just a—"

"Apparently I'll need to find another school. If you cannot accommodate my daughter with some simple tests to find her aptitude, I'll find a school that will." Mom turned to me. "Sorry, Riley, I thought we had this sorted."

"Wait!" The mare looked between me and Mom as if she were trying to say something but was holding it back at the same time. "I can't believe I'm doing this. Okay, what's one plus one?"

I looked up at Mom, saw her pleading expression, and sighed. "One and one is two. Two and two is four. Four and four is eight. Eight and eight is—"

"Oh, so she knows basic math." The mare looked a little flustered now. She opened her mouth, but I'd had enough already.

"Two times two is four. Four cubed is sixty-four. Do you want me to do long division? Because if I need to do long division to get out of doing chores, I will!" I glared at the mare, then turned to look at Mom. "How many other schools are there in Canterlot?"

"Two plus one," Mom said with the deadest deadpan stare I'd ever seen.

"Can't you, like, get me a tutor to homeschool me? Then they can actually just work out what I need to learn to catch up, then I can keep going from there." I looked at the mare who was now gaping at me like I'd grown an extra head. "Homeschool. H O M E S C H O O L. In a sentence: I want to be homeschooled because you're the third teacher who can't get their head around me being stuck in this body!"

"That's not a bad idea, Clair," Dad said (because he's awesome). "We have special requirements, and she deserves the best teaching we can get her."

"I can take her at our school, but I—"

Mom actually stepped between the teacher and me. "That won't be necessary. I'm sorry, Miss Booksworth, but it appears my daughter is smarter than all of us combined. I don't suppose you could suggest a private tutor I could hire to teach her?"

Miss Booksworth was completely gone from view now. "W-Well, I could suggest one or two, but I said we'd take—"

"That was a clever idea, Riley. Come on, we're going to see a special pony to ask her if she can tutor you." Dad sounded sure of himself. "But we have to take the train again. Thankfully, Ponyville isn't far."

"Who's in Ponyville?" I asked.

"The smartest unicorn I know. Well, she tried to tell me Princess Twilight Sparkle was smarter, but between you and me, I think Moon Dancer might be a little better read than the princess." Using his magic, Dad picked me up and set me on his back.

I hadn't seen much of Moon Dancer. All I knew about her was that she'd taught Dad how to use his magic in a really short time. I guess if you go off stories of wizards, it takes aaaagggeeeessss for them to get good at magic, so she must be a good teacher. Also, if Dad thought she was good, I'd probably not go insane just being in the same room as her.

"'Kay," I said.

When Dad reached the front door of the embassy, the soldiers there shuffled around and tried to stop him from leaving without talking to someone else, but just kept walking and we left the impossibly-re-dirtied-every-hour floors of the embassy behind.

Sitting up on his back, I looked around at all the ponies doing normal things like shopping, chatting, and just walking around, and it felt like home. Not home-home, but this just felt nicer than home-home, and we'd been here for ages now.

"Is this who you were trying to find the other day?" When I turned to look where the voice came from, I spotted the mare who'd taken us to meet Rarity's friend. I tried to remember her name, but nothing came to mind.

Dad stopped and turned to the mare. "I take it you met my daughter when she was off having an adventure? Philip Ree," he said, "And this—if you didn't know already—is Riley Ree."

"Hi!" I said, mostly because I knew Dad would want me to say something.

"Shimmering Silk." She dipped her head with a little blush. "Her and her brother were up to something, but they mentioned Miss Rarity, and knowing her personally, I decided to take it upon myself to see they were delivered to her shop. I take it everything turned out well?"

"Absolutely, thanks to you. We're just heading out to find Riley a tutor. She may look like a tiny foal, but my little girl's actually quite a bit older—an accident with magic, you know—and none of the schools here proved they would overlook her little issue."

"I could suggest my sister. She's actually looking for a teaching position right now." Shimmering Silk had gotten Dad's (and my) full attention. "I—uh—do assume you have the bits to pay for a personal tutor?"

"My mom's the ambassador!" I said, wanting to make sure she knew who we were. I still liked the mare, she'd helped us find our parents again after all, and she seemed really nice.

Dad booped my nose with his magic and had me giggling. "That might not be a bad idea. I was going to find a friend and ask her first. What about if I drop by tomorrow?"

Shimmering Silk looked excited. Smiling wide, she almost bounced on her hooves. "Oh! I can definitely organize for a luncheon for tomorrow! Would Mrs. Ree be coming?"

"I can't promise that, but I'll see if she can make it. She's been run off her hooves with meetings this last week. That and trying to organize school for our foals has made her schedule rather a mess," Dad said.

"Of course, of course. Well, I'll make sure my sister makes it, but please, don't let her work for free."

It confused me. Back home Mom had had a person working for her that she'd said didn't want pay, but she'd insisted. I wondered if they were like that, or was it a pony thing.

"It's okay. I'll make sure she's paid for her time. I just want to talk with my friend before I commit to anything, you understand?" Dad, I had to admit, was almost as good as Mom when it came to saying something but trying not to. Maybe he'd just learned from Mom—she was really good at it.

It took dad nearly ten minutes to get out of the conversation. He hustled it and nearly ran all the way to the train station. The ride back to Ponyville was short, probably because it was almost all downhill. Or is that downmountain?

We got off the train, and though Dad offered to carry me, I wanted to walk. It'd been tiring to walk at first, but with a little of that magic Applejack had taught me, I was fine to go all day. So I trotted at Dad's side as we walked through town toward the castle in the distance.

"How's it really going?" Dad asked.

"Me?" When he nodded, I continued. "If I didn't learn the cool magic Bloom and Applejack taught me, I'd be pooped by the end of each day. Probably sooner. Haven't you noticed I keep stealing your cupcakes?"

"Duh." Dad looked as surprised to say it as I felt at hearing him say it. "Well, yeah I noticed, but I just figured you were doing other stuff with your magic. Race you to the castle?"

I didn't have a chance to say anything—Dad was already running. Feeling for my magic, I sent it to my legs and my hooves, leaned forward and charged off after him. Dad might have all that flashy unicorn magic, but I had my own magic that worked perfectly for me. It wasn't pretend, and it wasn't a kids game—it was real, and it made me run fast.

I pumped my legs as hard as I could, feeding magic into them to make sure I could catch my Dad—and I did. Running side-by-side, we were both laughing too much and almost plowed right into the front door of Princess Twilight Sparkle's (still the best pony name I've heard) castle.

Dad wasn't panting, but he did look like he'd had to properly run. He used his magic to lift me up and hold me close to the big front doors.

Still giggling, I knocked on the door with my hoof, remembering at the last second to stop forcing magic through it so I didn't kick a hole in the door.

When the door didn't open for aaaaages, Dad lifted me up to knock again. Another forever passed, and I was just about to knock with my magic, when I felt movement through the ground. I turned first, then Dad turned, but what would have terrified most people made me grin. "Spike!"

I rushed over and jumped as high as I could, only to have him catch me out of the air with one claw and put me on his back. "Spike! Spike! Spike!"

Spike's whole body rumbled, like a big purring kitty, before the words finally made it all the way from his belly to his mouth. "Riley. How's Canterlot?" He spread his wings out on each side of me so I could pretend I was riding him properly—which was amazing!

"It was terrible! I had to sweep the embassy every day! All because me and Saf went on a bit of an adventure when we got there. It sucks." I pronked in place a few times, which was usually how I let Spike know I wanted to fly, but he remained grounded.

"We came to find Moon Dancer. Have you seen her?" Dad asked.

"Nope. She went back to Canterlot a few days after you. I figured she might at least go and say hello, but this is Moon Dancer we're talking about." Spike didn't take off, but he did bounce around—which was almost as good. Dragons moved kinda like alligators, but twice as flexible and ten times as awesome. I'd even told Spike that when he first gave me a ride on his back.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Until Twilight asked her to come here to research some things about the portal, Moon Dancer was happy to hide in her house or the Royal Library. Seriously, you didn't notice that about her here? How many times did you see her in Ponyville? She's worse than Twilight." As Spike spoke, he settled down from his bouncing to a more sedate walking. "You two want a lift back to Canterlot?"

I couldn't help myself, I started bouncing in excitement.

"You could lift both of us?" Dad asked.

"Unless you were eating a lot more cupcakes than even Pinkie, yeah." Spike spread his wings, which made me instinctively grab on tight. "C'mon. She'll either be at home or the library. I can take you to both."

"So how're you going to—" Dad cut off as Spike jumped forward and wrapped his forelegs around Dad's belly. "Hey, wh—"

One beat. Two beats. Spike was amazing! He didn't even seem to work hard as he shot into the sky, and underneath him Dad was shouting something, though I couldn't hear it over the wingbeats.

"Just relax! I've got you!" Spike shouted.

Spike had given me the serious talk the first time he'd taken me up. Flying on his back was serious, and I had to stay close to his shoulders and hold onto a back-fin, but at the same time it was so cool! I kinda envied Saf, even though he couldn't fly yet, because one day he'd be able to fly like Spike.

When we reached the top of the trail that led to Canterlot, Spike landed and set Dad down. "There you go. Bet that beats an hour or two of train ride all the way up!"

Dad didn't look so great. For a brown-furred pony, his face looked really green. He dropped to his belly on the grass beside the road and just lay very still.

"Is Dad okay?" I asked. "I don't think he's flown like that before."

"Ponies are pretty hardy. He'll get over it. Hold on—" Spike craned his neck around and managed to look at me with one eye, "—'Like that'?"

"Well, we've been on planes before. You know, jets?" I asked. When Spike shook his head, I tried to work out how to explain. "Big metal tubes with wings. Holds lots of people, a few hundred at least. Can fly from one side of the world to the other without stopping."

"Sounds pretty cool. Is that the kind of stuff your Mom's trying to sell to Princess Celestia?" Spike gently prodded Dad with one claw-tip, only earning a groan from him.

"Well, I only heard little bits, but it's mostly computers and stuff. Mom was saying how Princess Celestia wants education to be the most important thing." I slowly slid off Spike's back and dropped to the ground beside Dad. The moment my hooves touched down, I felt everything around me. Earth pony magic might not be flashy like unicorn magic, and I might not have wings like Spike or Saf, but I could feel everything like this, and it was amazing!

I could feel how tight Dad clutched at the ground, I could feel his belly gurgling, and I could feel each of Spike's heavy footsteps as he neared us.

"Sorry, Mr. Ree, but I figured you'd get over it quickly. Most ponies do."

"It's alright—" Dad made a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a burp, "—Spike. I just don't fly all that great at the best of times."

That surprised me. "But—"

"Riley, every time you've seen me in a plane, I've been dosed up on travel sickness meds. Please, let me enjoy something that doesn't move for a few more minutes?" Dad didn't even lift his head.

I turned back to Spike. "Can we go for a circle around Canterlot while Dad gets better?"

Holding up his claw, Spike made the gesture I knew meant he was going to help me onto his back again. But when I ran at him, instead of lifting me onto his back, he held me against his chest. "This way you can look down."

Boy did I look down. As Spike beat his wings and jumped into the sky, the ground dropped out from under me and I gasped. Now I realized—maybe a little—how Dad felt.

Canterlot looked amazing! There were ponies everywhere, and pegasi kept flying beside and below us. I stretched my forelegs out and laughed as Spike took us through twists and spins that would have thrown me off his back.

It was so much fun I didn't realize what Spike was doing until he crashed us into the ground and set me back on my hooves. Up and down were still a bit mixed up, but after shaking my head to clear the confusion, I turned to look at dad. "Did you see us?!"

Dad looked a lot better now. He was standing up, and walked over to me. "I wasn't doing a great job of seeing anything, sweetie. Thanks for giving me a moment, Spike, but next time it'd be appreciated if you asked first."

"Sorry, sir. I'll definitely make sure to ask before I foalnap you again."

It took me a second to work out what he meant by "foalnap", but it turned out to be just another of those odd words that ponies use instead of normal ones. Foal being the pony word for a kid meant that foalnap meant kidnap.

"Where did you say Moon Dancer will be?" Dad asked.

"Well," Spike said, "It's daytime, so she's either at the library or she's asleep. Since I've been kinda forcing her to stick to regular hours, she probably hasn't gone completely off the rails yet."

Me and Dad started trotting along beside Spike. I only listened to them peripherally because with my hooves back on the ground, I could feel everything again. Each hoofstep Dad took, each time Spike's feet touched the ground, even my own movements were something I could feel.

"Is she really that bad? She seemed so normal back at the castle," Dad said.

They kept talking all the way across town. I watched ponies walking by—all of them making room for Spike and Dad. By the time Spike pointed at a big building, my legs were getting tired, but it was nothing a little kick of super-awesome-pony-magic wouldn't fix!

Sticking my tongue out one side of my mouth, I focused on the magic inside me and—instead of the little flow I'd wanted—I got a huge rush of magic. Giggling, I trotted along to what seemed to be a huge library.

Philip Ree

Turning to Riley, I was about to offer her a ride inside when the words died in my throat. There was a trail of green grass that'd followed Riley back as far as I could see into the crowd. Quickly lifting her up with my magic, I set my daughter on my back. "Having some trouble controlling your magic, sweetie?"

Riley shook her head.

"Look behind us," I said.

"M-Maybe a little…"

Spike's throat made what I'd learned was the slight rumble before he spoke. "It's alright. Foals messing up a little magic is common here. Some grass growing is not going to upset anypony."

Reassured, I walked up the steps of the library with Spike at my side. Any second I expected to have someone rush up to me and protest him entering the library. When Spike stepped inside—his long body brushing the doors I held open for him, there was a gasp of surprise at the front counter. Here it comes…

"Spike! It's been—Oops, I should try to keep it down. It's been too long since I last saw you. Did you read that treatise on breezies I sent?" The mare behind the counter had to be one of the librarians. She had her curly mane up in a bun and had a pair of reading glasses hanging low on her snout. A pegasus, she had a light pink coat and sky-blue mane that had a second, darker-blue stripe in it.

Rolling his eyes, Spike reached one foreleg up to lean on the counter. "Of course I did. I read every book you send me, Stamp Duty. Well, I actually read every book anyone sends me. That way I can recommend the right book to the right creature."

Stamp Duty (the mare's name apparently) blushed a little and leaned on the counter so that she had to look up at Spike. "What can I help you with?" She looked like she was flirting, but that couldn't be right—Spike's a dragon, not a pony.

"We were looking for Moon Dancer. Is she in?" Spike asked.

"She is." The way Stamp Duty said it made her sound disappointed. "Her usual spot. She got in a few hours ago, so at least you know she'll be awake."

Spike lifted his foreleg off the desk and extended one claw to boop Stamp Duty on the nose. "Thanks. I'll be back to talk books when all this is under control." My head spun—he had flirted back! What the hell was up with this world?!

"Is she Spike's girlfriend?" Riley whispered in my ear.

Great. Riley could whisper to me her questions, but if I tried to be the good dad and answer them out loud, I'd be making a scene. "I'll tell you later, sweetie. So—" I raised my voice a little, "—where's Moon Dancer?"

If pony looks could kill, the mare behind the counter would be facing stern questions about inter-dimensional diplomatic incidents. "In the research section. Third desk from the rear—the one with the thickest-padded seat."

I left Spike at the counter and went searching for Moon. As it turned out, she wasn't hard to find at all. The library was somewhat empty, and her mane stood out prominently enough that finding the research section was the hardest part. Walking up to the table, I used my magic to pull two more chairs up. "Moon Dancer?"

Her head actually shot up from the book and she stared at me for several seconds before she shook her head and smiled. "Philip, it's good to see you again. And you brought Riley too?"

"Riley's actually the reason we were looking for you." I lifted Riley to one of the chairs and sat on the other. "You see, we've been trying to find a school that will accept her and not try to put her into an age-appropriate class."

"Huh? That shouldn't be a problem, surely. I remember Twilight being accepted into Princess Celestia's school despite her being nearly a decade too young." Moon Dancer settled a bookmark into the heavy tome she'd been reading and closed it. "Though you can't go there—it's only for unicorns. How bad has it been?"

That Moon Dancer was addressing Riley instead of me made her even more perfect, and I could see Riley perk up at the focus on her.

"They were going to try to teach me how to read and write. I was almost out of middle school!" Riley blew a very equine snort and looked to the side. "They didn't even want to talk to me—treated me like a baby."

"It's hard for them. They look at you and see a filly most of them would still have in diapers. As far as they're concerned, you shouldn't even be in school yet." Moon looked to me then back to Riley. "You want me to mentor you?"

Riley looked shell-shocked. "How'd you—?"

"Riley, Moon Dancer was my first choice because she's smart." I looked at Moon Dancer and had remind myself that I was a unicorn talking to another unicorn about schooling for my little filly. Once I had the situation squared away again, I could continue. "So?"

"You have, according to Equestrian education standards, thirty more years of schooling for basic level, or another ten to twenty on top of that for advanced. Now keep in mind, when you go back home, a lot of what I'll teach you will be useless."

Spinning, Riley pinned me with a look that asked me what that meant exactly.

"We're only here because it's Clair's job, Riley, and Princess Celestia lets us stay here. Jeff isn't going to be in office forever—the new president might not want Clair here." The more I spoke, the more Riley's face dropped. That she knew this already didn't soften it. I'd just told my little girl I was going to take the magic away.

"So," Moon Dancer said, "Knowing all that, do you still want me to teach you?" She looked only at Riley.

Riley stood up on her seat and glared at me for a few seconds before turning to Moon Dancer. "Yes!"

Someone nearby made a hushing sound.

Author's Note

As such, Princess, what IS the best equestrian combat unit?

"That would depend on what you mean by 'combat'. If you're talking about stand-up fights, E.U.P. Guard Regulars are without a doubt our finest fighting force. Asymmetric warfare? It depends what side of it you're on. On one hoof you have the Monster Hunters, experts in their craft of dealing with irregular threats. On the other hoof we have my royal guards here—trained to be an impenetrable wall against even an enemy army, if I should ask them to be so. There's the Wonderbolts—don't mistake them for just a bunch of stunt fliers." Princess Celestia blinked what seemed to be her only eye. "But the strength of all of them is nothing compared to how effective they are when working together. That is where ponies will always be their best."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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