Clair Ree

"… and then after the dance, and we introduce our partners to each other, Shiny will pretend he's sneaking them all away from the party so they don't get bored in here."

Princess Cadance had teamed up with her daughter to show me around, or show me off as the case may be. I know she was trying to be nice, but she was also a head of state who had her own motives and interests atop those she personally held.

I had discovered that her empire was the source of the strange crystals that our scientists back home had put very high up on the list of research goods they wished to acquire. Even if I didn't enjoy talking to Cadance, I would still be sticking close to her.

"Will anyone actually discuss business tonight?" Everyone around me seemed to be bigger than me to the point where I could sympathize with Saffron and Riley. Alicorns, it seemed, grew big, but I wasn't prepared to meet King Sable of Saddle Arabia. He was big on a similar scale to Princess Celestia, but lacked the obvious additions of horn or wings.

Cadance, who was much more my size than Celestia's (but still bigger than me), shook her head. "Nothing serious. Maybe a few appointments might be made, but no real business. Ah, here's Princess Luna. Have you two met?"

"Actually, Cadance, we have. Welcome to Canterlot, Clair. I hope my sister hasn't been too much trouble?" Luna's relaxed tone almost distracted me from the fact that she'd talked me into giving Equestria a pile of computers practically for free.

How was I going to get through this without looking like a laughing stock back home? But then I realized something. I wasn't in this to make such destructive deals as Equestria never wants to trade with us again. My mission was to make peaceful contact with a race who—at any time—could call off the deals and send us home and never make contact again. Jeff had sent me to make an ally of Equestria, not dominate them.

The night wound on just as Cadance said, with no talk of actual deals. We eventually found our partners and herded them to the dance floor for a slow dance, but I noticed Prince (or Emperor, I still hadn't sorted out titles properly) Shining Armor and Philip exchanging knowing looks.

Neither of us new the dance, but it was the kind of rocking slow dance that you didn't need to really know. "What's going on, darling?" We shifted around the room facing each other, keeping time with all the other dancers doing the same thing.

"Whatever do you mean?" Philip smiled the smile of a husband that knew he couldn't lie worth a damn and hoped I wouldn't ask the exact question that he'd have to answer.

I felt generous, after all, he'd come to another world to be with me. "With you. You seem so distracted. Is it this party?"

The relief on Philip's face threatened to make me giggle. It took every ounce of my stonefacedness to keep from telling him I knew his plans.

"Well, partly. I struggle to fit in here, but then I met someone who has had to deal with a lot of the same problems. We're going to do morning runs together." Philip's answer wasn't what I'd expected. I'd been rubbing elbows with political contacts while he'd made friends.

I had to stop and remind myself that this evening had been specifically work for me, but not for Philip. "Maybe we could all join you? I happen to remember a particular president who liked to have you along for a jog each day, and that definitely worked out well."

"Shining isn't Jeff. He seems—" Philip stopped and blinked. "How old is he? If Flurry is an adult, and Shining and Cadance had her—"

"Oh, sure. You can freak out all you like over a pony who's probably into his low hundreds, but I have entertain mares for whom a thousand years is a good amount of time to plan breakfast." I kissed my husband with the kind of silly abandon we did thirty years ago. "I know it's not easy, but we just have to do the best we can."

"You don't understand. If he beats me, it'll be terrible." Philip tried to make his case sound at least somewhat of a disaster, but it failed to garner him any sympathy from me. "I'm going to have to make sure I beat him, either way. I can't believe I forgot about the age thing. I just figured he'd be the same age as me."

I kissed his cheek this time and got an answering kiss back. "Well, do you think you can put up with this youthful life for a few years before we head back home?"

"Well, I happened to like our life. It was a good life. We're old, love, that's what happens when you raise and love a family." As he spoke, Philip leaned his head forward and down (which I mirrored) so we at last had our foreheads pressed together. "I'm okay with that."

"We were getting slower," I said.

The music slowly trailed off though we kept moving in the slow dance for a few more steps.

"That was nature's way of saying we'd had a good life. This? This is different, but not bad. I still look forward to going home and cuddling you properly."

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Princess Cadance with her wing out holding ponies back from approaching us. I had no idea what her game was, but I appreciated it nonetheless. "Every cuddle from you is improper."

Philip made a little growl-groan in the back of his throat that I took for his normal animal noise of approval. "They're watching us."

"Yes, I know. Cadance seems to be keeping the wolves at bay." I kissed his cheek and leaned back. "But now we have to face them. This is the bit where I introduce you around to all the leaders of neighboring nations like my trophy."

"Shining explained it, and for the record I prefer prize stud to trophy."

Philip Ree

Just like Shining had predicted, Clair had been required by propriety to show me around to all the others, and just like he planned each of us—Shining, Neighdine, Prances, and myself—slipped off into the crowd with apologies to our partners.

I made my way to the hallway door he'd mentioned only to find I was the first there—of our group. "This is the way to the little colts' room?"

Princess Flurry Heart raised an eyebrow that spoke volumes as to how likely that phrase was to work on her. "What'd Dad put you up to? Are you the diversion or part of the group sneaking?"

"Flurry! Don't grill the newbie about my plans." Shining slipped out of the crowd behind me and up to my side. "We're being each other's distraction. Scatter and rendezvous tactic."

"Just the two of—Nevermind." Flurry backed through the door behind her and made way for Prances and Neighdine. "But you only get to skedaddle if I get to come too. I hate these parties."

None of us needed a second invitation. Shining led the way through the door, and I let the two mares pass before slipping into the hallway myself. "I don't think anyone saw us." I followed after the others at a slow trot. Shining turned right out of sight and as I rounded the same corner I was greeted by a pair of smiling Royal Guards and the night air.

Canterlot was a city over a thousand feet (or ponylengths, I still had no clue how their dimensions worked) above sea-level, so nights were a little chilly but having a fur coat helped a ton. But the air was crisp and suited me just fine.

The guards, I realized, were manning the door. What reminded me of the safety of the situation was that they both saluted Shining and snapped a little stiffer. Right, he had the rank of captain, so he was probably above rank and file guards.

"It's so good to be out of there!" Flurry shoved her wings out in a display that still surprised me. Having people who could just fly at a moment's notice was still an amazing thing, but then I could do magic just by thinking the right way.

"You've got that right." Shining didn't have wings, but he looked like he'd have them out if he did. Nose raised, gazing into the sky, he looked the picture of health. "Philip, you made my wife almost squeal with that stunt earlier." He turned and looked at me with a big grin.

"I, uh, what?" Confusion reigned. "What do you mean?"

"Non! Stop, Shining." Lady Neighdine held out a hoof to silence any interruption from Shining. She turned to me. "As somepony who knows what it means to be new at court here in Canterlot, I can explain this better. Alicorns all have a thing they're princess of. Princess Celestia is the princess of the sun, Princess Luna of the moon, Princess Twilight Sparkle is princess of friendship, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza—Shining's wife—is princess of love."

My look of confusion must have tipped her off that I needed more of an answer. "Princess M—Princess Cadance is not just princess of love in name, she embodies love. It's her special talent."

"Oh, right! You probably didn't get the full explanation of this stuff. A pony's special talent isn't just something they're good at," Flurry said, "It's something they're amazing at. Mom's the princess of love, which means she can see it in other ponies and she can coax it higher. When there was an invasion by love-sucking monsters, Mom made a blast of love so big it threw them out of the country."

Then it hit me what they were getting at. Princess Cadance wasn't looking at us with her goofy grin back at the party, she was looking at the love Clair and I shared. What it said about how crazy-in-love I was with Clair that the princess of love got all gooey eyed around us, I don't know, but I guess it was kinda a big compliment.

"I'm going to need to teach you all so much about all this, aren't I?" Flurry asked.

"Hey, you signed up for the job." Shining Armor thumped his daughter on the back with one big foreleg and she barely even twitched at the heavy impact of camaraderie.

Flurry turned on her father. "What do you mean, 'signed up'?"

"Yup! You were born with wings and a horn, cadet. Once an alicorn, always an alicorn." Jumping back, Shining only narrowly avoided Flurry's back legs as they lashed out at him. It looked practiced, something father and daughter had done a hundred times before. "Missed me."

"Please, don't let it bother you. Princess Cadance is—She just has a powerful special talent. She certainly didn't mean anything bad by it." Queen Prances (who had been rather quiet up until now) distracted me from the father-daughter wrestling match going on.

"Hold up!" Flurry looked between the two mares and her father. "I know where this is headed, and with all propriety I decline to participate. In regular speak, heck no. Not even listening." She turned around and carefully stomped her way back over to the two Royal Guard at the door we'd left through.

Shining had a silly grin—one I recognized as a father who had managed to ick-out one of his children (possibly one of the finest pastimes of fathers in both our worlds, apparently).

"It's okay. Different world, different culture." And heck was it different, but all the same. Creatures being parents, being children, being friends, being lovers—That some of them could fly, some could do magic, and all of them had double the normal amount of legs I was used to was beside the point.

Neighdine groaned. "You don't have to tell me that. When my husband found out that Equestria's stallion relief stories were true, he panicked and wanted to call off our first visit here. It should be a mare's role to ensure her husband is properly satisfied."

Caught on a different track, my brain froze in surprise at the statement. "St-Stallion relief?" I asked.

"Or a mare could invite a friend around. There is no shame in allowing a fellow mare—even your sisters—to help you so long as no foal comes of it. Although if it were a sibling, that would make adoption far easi—" Neighdine said.

"Hold on!" I said, cutting in. "What do you mean? Is this some kind of hazing gag?"

"It's not really done as much in the city," Shining Armor said, "But if a stallion is a little backed up, it's perfectly fine getting some help from another stallion."

I had no words for how to take this. My brain was too busy dealing with the logistics of it to realize that ponies here might not have any notion of gay and straight at all, or maybe they had too good a notion of them.

"Now you've broken the poor dear." Prances stepped up to put herself defensively between myself and the other two. She was huge, which meant she was extremely good at ensuring I had no view of them. "Clearly a more civilized approach is what he's used to. Stallions are not to be let to roam loose to frolic with each other. A group of mares will often seek the attention of the one they desire and work together to ensure he is given what he needs. I'm sure you do a similar thing where you're from?"

Okay. Brain, time to do what you're supposed to and get things in order. One nation has mares help each other in ensuring their stallion is satisfied, another entrusts a stallion's extra needs to his own stallion friends, and a third is run by—by harems.

"Clair is all that I've ever needed, and all I'll ever need."

The most expressive and heartfelt sigh I'd ever heard left Neighdine. She dodged around Prances and reached down to take one of my forehooves. "To hear that kind of devotion and love in a stallion—It's magnifique!"

"Not to say you are lying, or that you don't have the devotion, but stallions are—Stallions are nothing if not vigorous and hungry. Talk to your wife about this, Philip," Prances said.

"Ladies? Can't you give the guy some room?" Shining used his magic to gently lift both mares casually (and easily) to the side so that he could walk up to me. "I'm in the same club. You can do it, buddy." He held up a hoof in a manner I was familiar with.

Lifting my own forehoof (that had been freed of Neighdine's grip), I clopped it against Shining's. "Where I'm from, monogamy is normal. P-People get together and live together for—" I was a little caught up by not wanting to lie to their faces, "—well, they hope to live together for their entire lives."

"Of course," Prances said, "My wife-sisters and I would not dream of leaving Sable. He is our stallion."

"But you're queen?" I asked.

"I organized my wife-sisters, I am the highest born of us all—Of course the throne is mine, but our husband I share with my wife-sisters gratefully. No mare—with the exception of the wives of those present—has the time needed to devote themselves to satisfying a stallion. The princess of love is an easy exception to make, Shining, but I must admit that your Clair must be an amazing mare to keep you all to herself."

Great one, Philip, you just marked Clair as some kind of legendary super-powered pony among—I don't even want to try to classify how this worked. I'd have to talk to the guys back at the chancery about this, as well as Saf. Now there's a pair of conversations I really want to have.

My brain, however, couldn't let go of one particular thing Shining had said. "You said it's not really done in the city?"

"Well, you know how it can be. Cities are busy, sometimes a stallion doesn't know enough ponies to really get the relief he needs. There's places you can go to to get it. All stallions, no infidelity, but they know what they're doing and enjoy their work." He was actually blushing by the end of his rambling description.

"Well, I hear there's somewhat of a rite of passage," Neighdine said with a sultry smile (that I could identify a sultry pony smile meant I was probably going native), "Where a father takes his son to such places when they come of age. Has somepony make it a special time, teaches the young stallion how—"

I cleared my throat. "I don't need to know about any of that. Saf—No, I don't need to worry about this." Was I saying this in the hope that it was true? So far, Saf hadn't shown any interest in mares, and given his age I think he was still per-pubescent for a pony. We only had a few years here, six or so at most—unless Jeff's replacement left us here.

"Saffron's your son, right?" Shining asked.

"We're not going to be here long enough for it to matter, I don't think."

"I read the reports on the time changes. It's hard to get my head around, but he was practically an adult, right?" Shining seemed to be trying to nudge me away from the mares. "Has he—uh—sown any wild oats?"

I thought back to the girl that'd come around to wish Saf well before we left, and nodded.

"And now he's stuck without any urges at all? A few years of that, and then things are going to hit him." Shining walked off from the others (Neighdine and Prances had retreated to talk with the two Guards at the door) and stood by a huge hedge maze. "He's going to need an outlet, and I'm telling you that in Equestria we have an outlet. Dad—"

I waited for him to continue because right then Shining Armor looked like he needed to keep talking.

"I guess I was a bit awkward. The other guys—even the really nice ones—weren't doing it for me. Sometimes I couldn't even get off. But then I met Cadance. I haven't gone anywhere else but to her," Shining Armor said.

It'd cost him to tell me all that. I could imagine how much scrutiny got placed on him for his bizarre (to this world) tastes in matrimony. "Clair was graduating from her college. I was just a cleaner there. I liked to keep fit, and I met and talked to a lot of clever people, but I'm not so clever myself. She saw something in me, and I couldn't even think about another woman—or mare—since she'd kissed my cheek." My history had only remained a secret so far as Clair had been an advisor only, but when she'd been announced as an ambassador to Equestria, everyone had searched for what ivy-league school I'd attended.

"You're no idiot, Philip."

"Compared to Clair I am. She was everything to me, then we had two amazing children. I'm so glad they took after her. What I'm trying to get at is that I know—I think—where you're coming from. It's a gallant man who promises himself to one woman and stands by both promise and woman."

"Definitely no idiot. If you stay here longer, at least talk to Saffron about this. The urges of a stallion are no joke, and if he doesn't keep on top of it he may embarrass himse—" Shining Armor froze mid word.

I lifted my head to see Princess Cadance and Clair both storming across the lawn toward us. "Good luck."

"Same. Sometimes I wonder if I don't survive just by burning so much energy trying to keep up with Cadance. That might be both our secret." Shining stood straight and saluted his wife. "I was just showing—"

"Oh give it a break, Shiny. You all slipped away for a little time, and we had to put on a show of searching for you. Flurry told me where you were, so we searched here last." Cadance kissed Shining's cheek when she finished her explanation. "Too stuffy?"

"You put us in a room filled with nobles who wanted to see the strange new ponies and ogle them. It was everything I could do to have the few hidden guards in the crowd keep the nosy neighs away while I organized the breakout." Shining pointed at me. "Philip and the girls came along for the ride."

Clair pressed her cheek to mine. "I've been getting the strangest advice about you," she said, her voice low. "We'll talk about it later, but Cadance has been giving me advice. She seems—" Clair drew back and lifted her voice, "—I'll talk more when we get home. Shall we go inside and find where our foals are?"

We didn't get a chance to discuss matters before bed. Just reaching our bed had been a trial and once there other things than talking took all our focus. Maybe Neighdine and Prances were right and stallions had an overactive sex drive and needed to find other outlets, or maybe Shining had the right of it and a loving couple could keep things focused.

I stretched in our bed and rolled over to see sunlight streaming in through the window—these thoughts were too heavy for such a wonderful morning. I looked at Clair—at the woman I loved so much—and leaned in to nuzzle and nibble her neck.

Clair giggled her way awake and let out a happy laugh. "Cadance was right. Absolutely insatiable." The words had stopped me dead. "What's wrong?"

"I talked with Shining, Neighdine, and Prances. Insatiable is apparently right in all the wrong ways." I pressed my snout firmly against Clair's neck and inched my way up to her mane with my nibbles. I couldn't even keep myself from getting in the mood. "Every pony society has different ways of dealing with it."

"Sex drive?" Clair's voice still held a little hint of laughter. "I married one man, and he promised he'd stand by me, and I him. If you need more time with me—like that—you'll have it." With that said, Clair rolled in place so she was on her back.

It wasn't hard to slip over the top of her, but alignment still took more than casual effort. Hooking one leg over hers so I pushed her down firmly and had her legs pinned took a little more doing. Belly to belly, I pressed myself against Clair and entered her.

"I don't know if it's real or if it's just being so young again. It could literally be a fiction invented by stallions to get a little more than they're getting." As I reached the end of my statement, I pushed forward and my belly met Clair's.

"If it's real—" Clair's voice was light and breathy, "—then I think I'm okay with it."

It was impossible to hold back a laugh, or my libido—controlling the latter was another thing entirely. Sex was fun, there was no doubt about it, but for me it was only fun if Clair had fun too. Sharing these moments meant a lot, but it wasn't the center of our relationship.

Despite sex being something to just feel good and have fun, it was also a singularly intense moment when we could both be alone and completely focused on each other. Now was no different. Mares, I'd found, had a quick trigger, which was good because stallions had one too. It was almost like sex for ponies was hard-wired to use as little time as possible in complete opposition to their extended lifespans. In the moment of climax, I had the odd thought that there was probably a sociology paper in that.

"Why are you laughing so much?" Clair asked.

"Because this world is silly, and it's nice to laugh at politics rather than cry." The downside I'd learned to pony post-coitus snuggling was that a stallion's shaft being so far up their underside meant that unless he was much bigger than his mate, he wouldn't be kissing them when still inside them. I looked up at Clair's smile and knew I was smiling just as much. "What if we got a house somewhere in the city?"

Clair looked down at me with shock, then surprise, then her face split into a huge grin. "You're going to give the major apoplexy. She'll want to send guards with us, and will—We can just tell her no, can't we?"

"A wiser stallion than I said, 'Eeyup.'" I nuzzled into the fur of her barrel and kissed one of her hooves when it came close. "It would make our private life private again."

Laughing now, Clair tried to lean down to kiss me but our position and anatomy made it impossible. "Get out of me so I can kiss you!"

Saffron Ree

"Hey! Commander Spitfire! That colt you mentioned is here!"

The E.U.P. Guard headquarters was huge compared to even the castle. There were hundreds of ponies all over running, doing practice fights, and magic! It was as if a little girl suddenly wanted to be a tomboy and went hardcore.

The gate guard I'd asked had turned and shouted, and not a few moments later the mare I'd been speaking to last night came walking up. She was wearing a different uniform now—something closer to the fancy uniforms soldiers back home wore for ceremonies.

I had one of the marines with me—of course—and I could almost sense excitement from Sergeant Clark. This was his bread and butter, but it was also pretty cool. Of course he was just here to "guard" me, and not totally get points on how to fly.

"Hey there, recruit. Let's get you using those wings." Spitfire wasn't just confident, she was like you took twenty confident people, ground them up, and put them in an espresso machine and made a shot of distilled confidence. "Who's your friend?"

"Ma'am, I'm Sergeant Peter Clark, United States Marine Corps. Here under orders to keep Saffron Ree safe." Sergeant Clark looked the part of a protector almost as much as my sister did. He was still a foal himself.

"I've been briefed on your status, sergeant. I think of everypony you'll meet, we here at the E.U.P. Guard will sympathize with your situation the most. You've nothing to fear regarding Saf's life while he's under my supervision, but you're welcome to join us in practice." Spitfire gestured into the training grounds with a wing.

Sergeant Clark seemed to relax a bit. "Thanks, commander. This deployment has had its ups and downs, but I'm looking forward to flying—if I can figure my wings out."

"You're taking care of them? Give me a look—both of you." Spitfire's tone made me want to react quickly to her command. I'd seen this kind of thing in movies, but didn't think it'd work like this in real life. When we both held out our wings (mine were steadier than Clark's), Spitfire examined them. "You both need to work on your preening, but it isn't your wings that're keeping you stuck on the ground."

Spitfire turned her attention to our faces and reached up to the side of mine, then bopped me just below my ear. "It's what's in here. You were both born as creatures that can't fly, so neither of you have what it takes to just know how to fly. Even if your bodies are perfect and your muscles weren't weak, you'd still never get into the air." She stepped back from us. "… Without help.

"But that doesn't mean we can neglect your wings. You've never flown before, but have either of you tried gliding?"

I raised one wing, remembering how the unicorn mare had tossed me into the sky.

"How sore were your wings after it?" Spitfire asked.

That had been yesterday, and both wings twitched with the remembered soreness. "I could barely lift them for most of the rest of the day. Rainbo—"

"Yeah, Crash told me she basically ran you lot around until you passed out. Did she show you how to do wing-ups?"

I groaned, but Clark didn't.

"Yes, ma'am. I've been doing as many as I can each morning and night." Clark sounded pleased with himself—proud.

"I take by your groan you don't do any, Saf?" Spitfire's attention was entirely on me and I felt regret that I hadn't at least tried to do more with my wings. "That changes today. Morning and night—like the sergeant—you are going to get your wings up to strength, Saf, that's an order." And it sounded like one.

"Now, come over here and let's do a dozen."

My whole morning became wingups, running, a lecture about wing preening, and more wingups. We didn't even get to flap our wings once all day.

"That was pretty cool," Clark said as we walked away from the training grounds. "I didn't know birds spent this much time looking after their wings, but I hope it'll pay off. I wanna fly so fu—badly."

"Me too, but this is a ton of work." I kicked a stone with my hoof and it bounced along the stone road. "I just want to—you know—fly."

Nudging me with a wing, Clark made a disgusted sound. "Your dad said you worked out back home. Said you were into fitness."

"I liked to stay fit, but this is more like doing weights than just running. Can't I just fly and use that to get the exercise I need?"

"Saf, you gotta be able to fly to be able to get exercise from flying. The sooner you get your wings up to where the commander wants them, the sooner we can both get into the air." Clark stopped at a stall and used his hoof to fish some coins from a little satchel tied around his foreleg. "Two apples, thanks."

"She's really not going to teach us until we have this sorted, is she?" I grabbed an apple that Clark tossed to me out of the air with my wing, holding it carefully in my feathers despite how weak the limb felt. "The grooming too."

"Preening, and yeah. I need to spend even more time on that. We both have things we have to work on, so let's get this done. I kinda want to be flying before the colonel." He bit into his apple, taking the fruit in half.

"So let's help each other with it. When do you do your wingups?" I bit into my own apple, though my mouth wasn't big enough to get as much in as Clark did.

We walked together for a while, munching on our apples. Clark didn't say anything until he was finished—while I was still eating my last third. "I get up at dawn and do them then, then again at dusk. You with me?"

"Alright. We can both work on our wings after that."

Author's Note

Celestia: Why the coat standards for the Guard? There will inevitably be a lot of potentially outstanding recruits left out in the dust for something that seems fairly simple to fix with a bit of magic or dye products.

"The Royal Guard are more than just excellent ability, they are ceremony, they are a statement, they are a symbol of strength and unity." Princess Celestia gestured to the stallions who stood around her throne room. "They are excellent defense, and part of that is their look. Are the Royal Guard the best combat unit in Equestria?"

Celestia cleared her throat and raised her voice. "Are you the best combat unit in Equestria?"

"Your Highness, no!" a dozen voices barked in perfect time.

Celestia smiled. "I have it on good authority that your world has its share of such units. Surely every nation has its honor guards—its warriors chosen to uphold a standard as well as their duties. The Royal Guard are such in Equestria."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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