Philip Ree

Another evening turned into morning. We'd spent more than just an hour speaking together in English—describing our week to each other and talking about how strange our lives had become, yet normal at the same time.

Now, in the early morning, and after my run, I was walking beside my darling to the chancery when we saw Frank's equine face smiling at us from the front door. It wasn't unusual for Frank Hollings to be waiting for us, but it was to see him smiling.

"Good morning, Captain Hollings," Clair said. I always let her take the lead when it came to matters at her work—because that was her job.

"Madam Ambassador. News from home." Frank's smile seemed to widen. "You'll never guess what."

"Inside please, Frank."

"Have fun at work." At my words, Clair looked back at me as if I were insane. I stuck out my tongue at her and turned for home.

The air in Canterlot always had a crisp bite to it, no matter the time of day. Altitude, I was sure, played a part, but I had a theory it was all the magic concentrated in one spot. Compared to Ponyville, Canterlot was brimming with unicorns. If you looked at a group of ten ponies, odds are nine of them were unicorns.

That was my theory, anyway. I'm no scholar, nor a wizard (being able to say that—even in my head—makes me giggle), but I know what I feel.

Unlike my morning run, I took the time to wave to ponies I'd seen regularly. They all waved back, and I even found myself stepping over to a stall selling apples. Clair had arranged for half her pay to be in bits, which meant I could— "I'll take three apples, please."

"Howdy there! Sure thing!" A gold-hued stallion with orange mane and tail (with gold highlights) and the most startlingly green eyes I'd ever seen. "Not many adults Ah see runnin' around without a cutie mark, stranger. Ah don't suppose yer one o' the out-of-towners muh cousin Applejack done talked about?"

I hadn't had much to do with the Apple family in Ponyville, but Clair had spoken about Applejack and her sister Apple Bloom.

"That'd be me. She spent some time with my wife and little filly." Lifting my forehoof, I offered it to the stallion to shake, only to have him dart around the display in his stall and hug me. It was brief enough that I didn't have time to actually react before he'd let go.

"Hey, where's my manners?! M'name's Braeburn, and any friend of my cuz is a friend o' mine!" Now he shoved his hoof out toward me.

Reaching out to clop his hoof in return, I was left wondering if he was offering something with the hug, or if I was being rude by not hugging back. Shining had been comfortable as heck to talk to for one big point—Shining Armor was monogamously married. "My name's Philip Ree."

He seemed to pause a moment to consider the word. It was—refreshing. Most people you could tell them your name and they'd continue as if you hadn't just told them the single most identifiable thing about you. Braeburn seemed like he was both committing it to memory and taking the time to think about how it sounds. "Well, Ah'm happy Ah met ya, Philip Ree. Tell ya what. Those apples're yours—no charge."

Was this flirting? Damn it, Shining, you didn't help at all! "Thanks, but I really shoul—" My attempt to rebuke the offer was cut short by Braeburn's hoof on my snout. I froze, staring down my nose at it.

"Nah, friend, Ah can't have ya turnin' down my hospitality. Take 'em."

I didn't know what else to do. I picked up the paper bag of apples with my magic and nodded to him in thanks.

"Y'all come back anytime if ya need anythin'!"

Would it be wrong to break into a gallop? Probably. But I stopped and turned back around to face Braeburn. It was time to sort this out. I carefully set down the apples. "I'll be honest—I really need some help." Who else did I have to ask? A perfect stranger this friendly and open would seem completely odd back home, but here he felt like a refuge.

"Well now. You just let Brae know what yer problem is an Ah'll see what Ah can do."

"It has to do with, well, being here. My wife and I are happily married, and monogamous, and—"

"Hol' up there. Ya been talkin' to one of the ponies from around these parts, right?" Braeburn asked. When I nodded, he continued. "Canterlot's got itself some odd things that happen. Ah think it comes from havin' too many unicorns in one place. A lot of the stallions here have a thing goin', and while Ah completely respect that, ya don't have t' be part of it."

I'd never heard words spoken in a country accent sound as sweet. The simple reassurance that this thing wasn't seen universally as true made me stand a little taller and the world smell a little sweeter. "Thanks, Braeburn. I'm not sure if your cousins told you, but we weren't ponies just a couple of months ago. It's taking some getting used to."

"Well, Philip Ree, if'n you need any more help, you just ask. Ah'll be here all week sellin' apples, though anymore're gonna cost ya."

"Thanks, Braeburn. Just call me Philip, or Phil."

"Yer welcome, Philip." He actually tipped his hat in a way that reminded me of every helpful southerner I'd ever met. "Anypony else wanna buy some apples?"

I took that as my cue and grabbed up my bag and trotted off for home. So now I had two datapoints, as Clair likes to call them, with which to work off. Technically three—myself included. Sex was just as good as a pony as it was as a human, I could confirm that, but was my desire for it any greater?

Reaching the curve in the street where I could see our house, I slowed a little to give myself a little more time before reentering the madhouse. Truth be told, I was a little more prone to catching Clair, and we had dived right into the pony way as it were. Was that an indication my libido was higher?

Well, at least I had my magic. If there was one thing I knew how to do as a functional adult male, it was how to get some relief if I needed it. Not that I would without talking to Clair first—she might be holding back without wanting to worry me.

Opening the front door, I stepped inside to find Saf laying on the couch reading a book. I had two options for how to deal with a son suddenly taking an interest in books—either I show him respect and encouragement or I crack a bad joke. The latter was the only option. "Hitting the books? Are they winning?"

"Oh—" it seemed like he hadn't even heard me come in, which meant his book must be an interesting one. "Yeah. Figured I'd get this homework out of the way now so I can relax tomorrow. Mom working today?"

"Mmhmm. The major headed back to Earth last night and new information was due today. You know Jeff, always wanting to let his people handle things, but wanting his own touch to be evident too." It was true. Jeff Miller was the best and worst kind of manager. He wanted to know everything and poke at everything, but he also knew exactly how much poking and how much information he needed. I guess that means he's more like the worst and best, to get the order right. "Want an apple?"

Saf lifted his head and one wing, into which I tossed one of the apples from the bag. "Thanks, Dad. Riley's sleeping in."

"From what she told us last night, she deserves it." And she did. It gave me great delight to find out both our children had gotten their mother's smarts. "Still haven't even touched your computer?"

One of Saf's ears twitched. He'd only just lowered his snout back to his book when I'd spoken. "I've kinda got too much to do with all this." Lifting a wing forward, he gestured at the book with a feather. "And getting my wings up to speed. Sudden says I still have a lot of work to do if I want to fly anywhere near as good as she does."

What was that noise in the back of my head? Oh, right, alarm bells. That Sudden Turn was older than me was beside the point—she was an eligible female figure prominent in Saf's life. "She flies well?"

"Dad! She's a Wonderbolt! She flies like the wind itself. She said in another thirty years I might be at her level." I wasn't sure if he was deadpanning or actually serious. Either way, Saf still had his nose in the book.

Almost. I was on the very verge of pointing out that we might not be here for even a tenth of that, when it hit me that despite his appearance here, Saffron Ree—my son—was an adult. Even by US law he was old enough to say if he wanted to live here or not. Whether the princesses would be amiable to him living here was another question. Okay, Philip, time to be the best dad you can be.

"You've looked into staying here?" I asked.

Saf's head shot up so fast I was surprised he didn't have whiplash. He stared at me as if I'd just said something groundbreaking that destroyed all his notions of how the world worked.

"Well?" I asked.

"I didn't even think about it. I mean, you guys said it was going to be a few years at most, and I was just trying to enjoy them as much as I could. How would I even do that?" He looked terrified and excited, a good combination given he was turning eighteen soon.

"First thing you need to do is think. I'd suggest talking to the American Ambassador for information. I'm sure she might know who to talk to about staying." Sometimes I loved being a dad. There was nothing else in life that allowed me the joy of using so many torturous jokes on children.

Looking back at his book, Saf jerked his head back up again. "Right. I'll need to talk to Mom—"

"No, Saf. You need to talk to the ambassador. Your mother is the wrong one to talk to." Serious answers with a core of silliness.

"R-Right. I need to talk to the ambassador, not Mom. This is way more confusing than it needs to be." He took a bite of the apple.

I walked over to the couch and sat on it beside him. Removing the second bright red apple from the bag, I took a bite of it. The flavor was spectacular—the juices threatening to leak into my fur and neck. Liberal use of my tongue saved me from most of the mess.

When Saf's wing curled around my back and he hugged me, I put a foreleg around his shoulders.

"Thanks, Dad. I was trying to cram so hard and didn't even think to look at a bigger picture. So if I could just stay here, I'd need money—bits—right?"

"Yup. Not sure how you'd go about finding them. Once you work out if it will be possible, then you can focus on the how. You've got a few years to get that sorted, after all." I pulled my leg back from him and he let go with his wing. Ponies—even humans who'd only been ponies for several weeks—were huggers it seemed. "Maybe you should make a list."

"Right. A list would be good, but after I get done with my homework. Slowpoke would chew me out for falling behind right off the bat." He lowered his nose back to his book. There wasn't a lot of times in my life I could consider myself more proud of Saf.

"I'll leave you to it." I got up off the couch and walked through to the kitchen. For a place that lacked the modern technology of Earth, Equestria sure had a great amount of modern technology. A fridge that kept things cold (though no freezer), a good gas oven, even electrical sockets, though the strange-looking sockets didn't look inviting to American household devices.

With another bite of my apple, I planned out what I wanted to cook for the whole weekend. I'd tried the seafood, like Shining had suggested, and didn't like it. It had been easier to live with a vegetarian diet than try explaining to Saf why I wouldn't cook him his own individual meals—because I bet he'd ask for fish just to be different.

Salad sandwiches were the order of the day, at least for lunch. Breakfast usually resulted in me making some oats up with milk. Dinner was the complicated one. Pasta had been easy, what with three of us burning up magic most of the day (and two of those being children to boot).

Well, with our own house, I could fix this problem even better. Today I made the decision to buy a cook book. I could just wander around the city aimlessly, but I had a plan. I'd called in a favor from Spike (after his flying incident), and he'd suggested I visit the library here first to look at said books before I went elsewhere to buy them.

Being a dragon over a hundred years old in charge of a hoard of books clearly gave you some perspective when it comes to literature. So I was off to the library. "I'll be back later, Saf. Keep an eye on your sister when she gets up."

"Got it, Dad."

I grabbed a saddlebag and slung it over my back and headed back into Canterlot's streets. Like always, the air was crisp and my hooves made a melodic clip-clopping on the ground as I trotted. The library was near the castle, but on the other side from where the chancery was.

It was easier to ignore any looks I got as being their problem, and not mine. There was something I had to thank Braeburn for.

The city streets of Canterlot were buzzing with color and life—that is to say ponies. Pastel colors, some brighter ones here and there too, but almost all of them unicorns. I waved to a few ponies I'd seen regularly—not that I'd spoken to any of them before.

Canterlot City Library was right where Spike had said it would be. The building was huge. The weight of the huge marble roof was borne by pillars that reminded me of Roman designs, but the beautiful glass-work letting sunlight through the otherwise open front cast it into a more modern feel. I had to wonder how old it really was.

Two huge unicorn statues stood out the front and bracketed the stairs leading up to the front door. The whole thing felt both impressive and reverent in the same moment. I'd visited the White House on several occasions, but this structure put even the fortitude of the Oval Office to shame.

I walked up to the front doors and followed the helpful marking that said Push. Perfectly temperate air met me as I walked inside. Ponies were scattered around the library. Some employees were wheeling carts of books around, some patrons were sitting at desks reading in the morning sunlight, but I had designs on the main desk.

"Hi there," I said. "I wanted to look at some recipe books if I could."

"Of course you do." The mare at the counter—an earth pony—could have put that in a way that made it sound contrite, but instead she spoke as if the target of my search was never in doubt. "Please follow me."

My jaw almost dropped. I'd expected her to give me directions or at least just point to the section where recipe books were. Instead she gestured to another library employee who rushed to the desk to man it while she walked off toward the bookshelves.

"Did you have a particular one in mind?" the librarian asked.

"Well, I'm a bit new to all this. I was actually looking for some books on simple home cooking for families."

"New to all this? There's a story here. A librarian knows when a story is nearby." Despite her words, she didn't actually ask me to explain. It was the softest request for gossip I'd ever heard. "What you'll want is in this section over here. Non-fiction, guides, cooking books."

"Thank you so much." The transaction was probably older than time itself. When two creatures—pony or human—sat around a fire and one wanted to know something, they had to give the other a good story. "You see, I'm from another world—Earth. My wife's the ambassador, and I haven't a clue what sort of meals would be good for pony digestive systems."

"Sweet Celestia! You're one of our visitors!"

A chorus of Shhhhs came from the desks nearby.

"Sorry," my guide said in the direction of the shusshers. "I'd heard so much about all these fancy new things ponies are investigating. Why, we had Princess Twilight Sparkle herself in here just a bit earlier. She's planning to start a whole new section of the library dedicated to literature from other worlds. It's so exciting!"

More Shhhhs came in quickly on the tail end of the librarian's words, leading to my guide rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad she's back and is organizing that kind of thing, but what I really want is an Equestrian book on cooking."

"Right. Right. Of course. Well, we have this row here for baking—separated into pastries, cakes, and other—and this row on more general cooking." She was pointing to entire rows of the library when she spoke. Hundreds or thousands of books.

"Do you have any you'd personally recommend?" I asked, hoping to narrow things down just a little.

Walking down the aisle a little, the librarian gestured with her hoof at the bookshelf. "Well, if you want simple meals anypony can make, I'd suggest Gretchen's Basics, by Gretchen the Griffon. She's one of Princess Celestia's own chefs. It's right here. Now, she also has a more advanced guide—"

I let out a sigh that interrupted her. "I'll level with you, ma'am. I intend to buy some books, and figured I should come here to ask for advice on what ones to get. I'm not sure if I can even get a library card here."

"My name's Early Return, and I'm fairly sure Princess Celestia wouldn't mind me lending you books if you agreed to bring them back. As for what you want, I'd personally suggest her whole series of books. Gretchen's an excellent chef and is amazing at explaining her recipes. I could tell you some good bookstores in the city to visit?"

"Philip Ree, and thank you. Could you write those down?"

Her smile changed her from pretty to radiant. "Sure thing!"

"Shhh!"

It was almost midday by the time I got home. My saddlebags were full of fresh produce and cooking equipment, and I was set for several days of cooking—there was no way my family would eat another military ration!

"I'm home!" I stepped in the front door only to see Clair, Saf, and Princess Twilight Sparkle sitting in the living room talking. Now that I could see that she wasn't just pony sized, but taller than regular ponies, I could get a better idea just how out of scale humanity was to ponies. "Sorry to interrupt."

Saf looked, out of the three of them, the most excited. He turned a grinning face toward me. "Hey, Dad, Princess Twilight said I could stay!"

Twilight and Clair both turned to face me, they looked happy and curious in similar measures, though Twilight's was closer toward happy and Clair was closer toward curious.

"Saffron's been doing quite well, I hear," Twilight said. "And by all accounts all of you have. The adjustment in ages is a concern, however. I'm looking into fixing that."

"Excuse me, Twilight, Saffron." Clair stood up and gave me an intense stare that I read easily—she wanted to talk. There was nothing else I could do than smile to Princess Twilight and Saf and follow Clair into the kitchen. The moment the door closed I heard her taking a breath. "I'm torn, Philip."

Using my magic, I lifted my saddlebag off my back. "I know what you mean. Him staying here will mean we won't get to see our boy grow."

"But I can't believe how happy he looks. Philip, he was in a rut at high school, we both know that. The smile Saffron gets on his face whenever he is reminded about flying is—It just leaves me breathless. This was your idea?"

"He was reading a textbook on the couch—a textbook about flying. Clair, this was our son who took up home ec at school because he found out it was impossible to fail. You've seen him talking to Sudden Turn?"

"Her?" Clair's eyebrows rose together. "I heard she was his minder. What's she got to do with this?"

"If Saf was about twenty years older, a lot more than she does right now. He looks up to her—he wants to be like her. She's one of his instructors." I saw real surprise register on Clair's face. I might not be able to read other ponies all that well, but my wife I knew.

Clair's shoulders slumped and she let out a slow breath. "I've been distracted by work and haven't been paying enough attention to him. Is this really something he should be jumping into?"

"No. Absolutely not." My absolute statement drew curiosity into Clair's eyes. "But we have a few years before he has to make the final choice." Realization, revelation, and delight registered in my wife's very stance. I leaned forward and kissed her, then the kiss became more than the short peck I'd intended, and before I knew it I was pondering how hard it would be to brace a chair against the door and—

"Philip?" Clair asked after I jerked away. "What's wrong?"

"I spoke to a pony earlier about—the problem with stallions. He said it was mostly just Canterlot ponies being a little odd and having their own odd ways, but I don't know. I just felt like—" I bit down on my words. Saying them out loud would be degrading and would—

Clair's kiss broke my mental distraction. Her lips were warm and her tongue went exploring in a way that made all that energy rush to the fore again. When she broke the kiss, I was more than a little worked up.

"Give me five minutes to finish this with the princess and Saf, and I want you upstairs, my stud." Clair gave me a smoldering look, turned, and with a flick of her tail made everything worse (or better). She left the kitchen.

I gulped. For the first time in my life I was extremely unsure about my body and—Deep breaths, Philip. Put the groceries away and think of Clair. Both things came easily to me. I had my perishable purchases away and was flicking through the cookbooks when Clair opened the door again and poked just her head inside.

"C'mon. Princess Twilight's gone, Saffron's gone for a fly, and Riley is working on her homework in her room." Her eyes could have lit fires anywhere she looked, and given she was looking at me I could certainly confirm I was burning up.

Author's Note

Miss Sudden Turn, aka Scootaloo, what are your feelings towards Mister Saffron Ree?

"I'm mostly trying to be a friend for him. He's gone through a lot and didn't have anypony his age—well, his maturity—to hang with. I might be a bit older than him, but I get him. After all, we both spent most of our childhood unable to fly, ya know?" Sudden Turn reached up to her ears and pulled the mask of her Wonderbolts uniform over her head. "Excuse me—I gotta fly."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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