Philip Ree

We weren't experts in how ponies have sex, but we were learning as we went, and we went quite well indeed. The pony version of missionary—bellies together—was more enjoyable than regular pony style, but Clair had surprised me by insisting on trying more and more things.

I hadn't said no.

Was there truth to both Shining and Braeburn's words? Maybe out-of-town ponies just let things go a little more. Maybe Canterlot ponies were just way more into a little bit on the side. Maybe I had the most amazing woman—or mare—with me right now.

"Clair, darling, I love you so much." I didn't need to move far to kiss her, though there was no vital and impending need to it now—just satisfaction.

She moved with me, shifted her body to accommodate the angle of our kiss so we could last a little longer than muscles would otherwise allow. When things finally settled and we started to break apart, I felt her lips curl into a smile. "How'd you put everything in perspective so well?"

"Hrmm?"

"Saffron needed to hear that he had more options. I needed to hear that I could give him years to make up his mind." She giggled. "I also needed to hear how into me you were still. After all this—thirty four years together, my career, coming to another world—and you still looked at me like you could devour me. How do you do that?"

If I told her I was crazy, that I was driving by the seat of my pants, it would be only partly true. "I'm crazy—crazy in love with you. The life you've given me, Clair, inspires me to be the best I can be. I couldn't be who and what I am if it wasn't for you, for Saffron, and for Riley." I bumped my nose against hers and smiled just a little wider. "You inspire me to do everything."

"That's so sappy. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. Did it work?"

She just nodded to me and shifted to the side. Pleasure, sensitivity, and maybe a hint of excitement sparked as I drew from her. I clenched my teeth and fought the immediate desire to get back on her. "A little more gentle next time, please?"

Clair looked a little shaken herself. "Y-Yeah. Sorry. I forgot how much of you there is now."

"Does this mean I can make a hung like a stallion joke?" I waggled my eyebrows as best I could, and got a pillow thrown at me for my trouble.

Before Clair could grab something else to throw, she gasped and practically galloped to the bathroom. "How much did you—Philip!" There was no genuine panic in her voice, only an edge of laughter. "I'll get you back for this!"

"By doing what?" I used my magic to grab the cleanup towel we kept on the bedside table and made use of it to carefully pat myself down.

"By doing it again, silly."

My heart sped up at the way she spoke—deep and hungry. "Tonight." With my magic I tossed the towel into the hamper as I rolled onto my hooves. "Definitely tonight. How are you?" I poked my head into the bathroom to see my darling wife expelling quite a bit of—well, the proof of my love is perhaps the nicest thing to call it.

The sight was sexy beyond measure to some primal, beastly part of me. My wife so brimming with me that she—I had to cut the thought off before I made more such mess.

"I'll be okay in a moment." She bit her lower lip.

I couldn't stand it. I walked into the bathroom and kissed her. Hungrily kissed her. By the time I was done kissing, she was done with the mess I'd made.

"Philip Ree, how did you become so—" Clair stopped, her eyes widening. "We're young again. I mean, as far as ponies go, right?"

I nodded.

"Young ponies that are just like a pair of nineteen-year-olds. Right?" She grinned like she'd just solved world peace. "Philip, we're both idiots. Young—horny—idiots."

Relief and laughter bubbled through me. I joined Clair in laughing at the world, at ourselves, and at our situation. We laughed while she cleaned herself up in the bathroom, only dimming our mirth long enough to kiss or nuzzle, and headed out of the bedroom.

I walked down the hall with Clair at my side, and felt like the richest man—or stallion—in either world. "Time for lunch, I think?"

"Is that what you were out buying?" Clair nuzzled my cheek, which had the effect of making my knees feel weak.

"Yes, sort of. I acquired some cookbooks for ponies, written by a griffon funnily enough." I used my magic to open the kitchen door and head inside only to see Riley with a chair pulled up to the counter making herself a sandwich. "Oh no! Clair, we have an infestation!"

"Hey, kiddo. Hungry?" Clair asked as she walked around to kiss Riley on the cheek. Motherhood had always agreed with Clair, despite her repeated counter claims that she spent too time away from home.

"There's no peanut butter and jelly!" Riley looked down at her forlorn, buttered slices of bread. "Can we get some?"

It hadn't occurred to me to even look. "I'll do some more shopping tomorrow and see what I can find. What about a salad sandwich?"

I already had the fridge door open before her eager reply came, "Sure!"

"Okay then, you get the bread ready while I chop up the salad." I had no idea how Clair or our children managed without magic. I picked up a tomato and a lettuce and turned back to the bench to see Riley cutting the bread up into neat pieces with a big bread knife.

She looked precarious, balanced upright on the chair, but in my mind I had to remember that she was close enough to being a teenager that I should be thankful she was willing to help.

I used magic to flip out one of the books that focused more on nutrition than actual cooking, and hunted through for portion sizes while I cut up cucumber with a little more effort on my horn.

"How do you do that?" Riley asked.

I was a bit confused as to what she was asking. "Do what? Magic?"

"No. I kinda get you have your own special stuff for your magic, Dad, but how are you holding three things at once?"

Okay, that was a surprise. I looked at how I was holding the book. Then I looked down to where I was chopping the cucumber. "I didn't really notice. I guess I kinda just parked the book up here while I chopped. On the plus side I can't cut myself with the knife."

I showed off by cutting the cucumber up as fine as I could, and then brought the knife through my magic a few times. It tingled, and I could feel not just the movement of the blade but its sharpness as well. "See?"

"That's so cool! You could use a lightsaber and it wouldn't even hurt you!"

Rolling my eyes would be too much. Instead I leaned over and kissed Riley on the forehead. "Keep working on that bread, pumpkin. We'll be making our own soon enough."

Riley started back on the bread, slicing it a little thicker than I'd have liked, but I let her go all the same. "Like we did back home?"

"I used a breadmaker back home. Ponies don't seem to have gotten quite that far with gadgets, so I'll be making it the old fashioned way." With the cucumbers done, I swapped to a tomato. "What do you want on yours?"

"Everything!"

"Everything?"

She nodded.

"Okay," I said. "Everything." I started to put my book down on the first slice of bread.

"Dad! I meant everything you're making."

"Oh! Well, I guess the book might be a bit too much roughage, after all." Grabbing up a ripe avocado, I sliced it around neatly and then used my magic to neatly break it in half. "Is it like using my hands if I scoop it out with my magic?"

"Pfft. No, Dad, it's magic. We don't have hands now, remember?"

"I guess." Forming a scoop from my magic, I scooped out all the inside of the avocado and put it in a bowl. I lifted a pat of butter and a lime from my saddlebag and set them on the bench. "Just feels a little odd, since it's kinda like how my hands worked."

Mixing some butter in with the avocado, I splashed in some lime juice and gave it a hit of salt. There was a lot of things the books—that I'd flicked through in the library—didn't say. Nowhere in the city had I found a blender, and all a book ever said was blend ingredients. Well, let me see if I can get things moving myself.

Spreading some of my magic out thin over the top of the bowl, I tried to imagine the blades of a food processor inside it and started turning that around. I was slow at it, but the more I turned the blade the easier I found it and the faster I could do it. I never got anywhere near as fast as a food processor would have, but I got them blended up well enough to use.

"Dad! That—was—so—awesome! How'd you do that?" I hadn't noticed how intently Riley was watching me. Well, it was time to be a proper dad.

"Magic," I said.

The devastated look my daughter leveled at me was worth everything I'd ever been through in my life. "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"You're the worst, you know that right?"

"I'm your dad, that means it's my duty to make dad jokes, sweetie. We've discussed this before." I couldn't actually fathom the idea of using my magic to spread the avocado butter on the bread, so I picked up a knife and began spreading it. "I'm just taking the dad jokes to new and interesting places."

Getting a production line going was easy. Bread gets buttered, cucumber, tomato, lettuce, salt, pepper, top on. One. Two. Three. Four. Cutting each in turn, I always put a slight angle on the slice to give a smaller end to start at. "Go and tell your brother his lunch is ready."

I knew what was coming, and tucked my ears down as tight to my head as I could.

"SAF! LUNCH IS READY!"

Yup. That's my filly. "Thank you, sweetie." I kissed Riley on the forehead again while scooping each sandwich up on a plate and floating them over to the table.

"Lunch?" Saffron poked his head into the kitchen and looked at me funny. "Uh, Dad?"

I was just about on top of the world. Using magic had never energized me quite as much as it had now. Turning to face him, I shrugged. "Yeah. Made us all something healthy and nutritious. What's up?"

Saffron didn't stop staring at me. "When'd you get a cutie mark?"

"What?" I couldn't think what else to say. "Cutie mark?" Okay, maybe I could. Everything felt too good to have something odd be happening.

"Dad! Look!" Riley jumped off the chair she'd been using and ran to my flank. "You've got a cutie mark!"

Turning my head, I looked back at my hip and saw it. Sure enough, my brown fur was broken up by a pair of silver scales. Okay, Philip, nothing to worry about. If I wasn't feeling so good I might be able to panic. As it was, I was excited beyond belief. "Clair!"

"I can see, Philip. What happened?" Clair's voice held a hint of worry, though also curiosity. She walked past Saffron and over to me to inspect my rump. I only wished we were alone, so she could inspect it more thoroughly.

"We were making lunch. Riley was cutting the bread, and I was preparing the fillings. I'd just finished making them, slicing them, and had Riley call Saffron for lunch." Still feeling excited and on-edge, I felt like I wanted to dance and sing and—and just hug everyone! Memories of fooling around with illicit substances when I was younger came to and left my thoughts—this was so much better!

"You're smiling a lot." Clair narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"You mean apart from the life-defining pattern that just appeared on my hips?" I asked.

"Philip, I think we better call somepony who can double check on this sort of thing." Clair looked at the table and the four plates sitting there. "After lunch. Those sandwiches look good."

Despite her worry, despite finding out I had a very strange thing happen to me just now, I felt even better hearing that she liked my food. Using my magic, I pulled a chair out for Clair, Riley, and Saffron, and took a seat myself.

"What was it like?" Saffron asked as he reached out with his wing for a sandwich.

"I guess I wasn't even aware I was getting it, but every moment just feels better and better." I didn't take much convincing to talk about it, apparently. "Just—I feel great!" What hit even harder was hearing Riley's delight when she took a bite of her sandwich. "How is it?"

"Mff! Goo, Da!" She barely managed to get the words out around her mouthful.

When Clair started on her own, I got a different feeling. There wasn't something wrong as such, just something missing. More food—more protein and fats. The thought had come from nowhere, and I had no idea what it meant beyond Clair needing more food than she was getting.

I watched Saffron eating his sandwich, and again got a slight pull of feeling that he needed more carbohydrates. Of what was causing these feelings I had no idea, but I would be damned if I would ignore them. This whole world is magic, and this was magic.

Mentally, I tucked away the idea that I'd add some eggs to our meals—or at least Clair's meal—and maybe get an extra sandwich for Saffron. For myself… I took a bite of my sandwich and felt mostly content with it, though I'd had that apple earlier. Keeping my own sugar levels up would always be a constant fight, but with the power of delicious fruit and cupcakes, I think I was ready for the challenge.

I remembered, then, that I'd gotten fruit for both kids. I looked again at Riley, but didn't get any sense of her needing more. Well, I had a talent, or a gift, or something telling me what my family needed, I wasn't going to argue with it.

"Let me know if you want something more," I said. "Saffron, would you like another sandwich?"

He was finished first, of course, but the guilty look I got from him told me I'd hit the nail on the head. "Yeah, Dad. I was trying some flying magic out earlier, and I could really do with another."

"Not a problem, buddy." I didn't question how much more relaxed Saffron was these days—not looking gift-horses and all that. The angsty and sometimes angry seventeen-year-old I'd grown resigned into seeing become a man by sheer stubbornness had grown younger, or at least he seemed to act younger, but also mature.

Standing up, I turned to the bench and set the bread knife cutting two more slices while the kitchen knife sliced up more filling. "What about you, dear?" I asked Clair. "Fit another in?"

She looked at me with an unreadable expression that quickly turned to a frown. "Sorry. It's been an odd day. I feel like there's room for something, but I'm not sure what."

"Trust me," I said.

I assembled Saffron's second salad sandwich first, but plucked out some eggs from my saddlebags and cut up some more lettuce to go with it.

"What are you—Eggs?" The way Clair said the last word told me that this new intuition was absolutely and one-hundred-percent right. Okay, Philip, trust your instincts and your magic powers.

When put like that, I realized going home might result in me needing to spend some time with a psych. Forgetting that, though, I turned the stove on and put a pot over it. "Oh? Did I guess right?"

Clair moved fast. She jumped out of her chair and was beside me, kissing my cheek, before I could so much as blink.

"Hey, squirt, want to see what I was practicing earlier?" Saffron asked.

"What is it?" Riley asked.

"Come on and I'll show you."

My son was the biggest superhero I knew, sometimes. I would have thanked him, but that would have slowed Riley going out the back door with him and leaving Clair and myself alone.

The moment the door closed, Clair pressed her body against mine from shoulder to hip.

"Clair?" I asked. Part of me didn't want to question this, but I also didn't want to pressure my darling-love into something. "What's up?"

"You. Me. Libido. I thought you were meant to be the overly horny one?" As she nibbled my ear, I broke the eggs into the pot and added some butter. "Just—Seeing you so devoted, so—I don't even know what it all is."

"After you've eaten your sandwich, we can play again. We owe Saffron a big favor, though." Mixing the eggs, I nibbled my way up Clair's nearest ear until I reached the top of it. "Do you think he'll stay?"

The hungry little sounds Clair made almost broke my attention from stirring the eggs. I pulled them off the heat and fetched some chives from my saddlebags.

"If we don't push him to go home, he'll stay. Coming here was something he agreed to, but I didn't realize how well he'd take to being here. To be completely honest, I expected him to lock himself up in his bedroom for the duration and play computer games." The feel of her hoof rubbing down my chest almost sold me on giving up the eggs, pot, and everything. She knew the places that got my motor running, and she was teasing me with them.

"I'm honestly torn."

I turned my head, distracted almost completely from making the scrambled eggs. "Oh?"

"I'm still hungry, but I'm also hungry." She nipped at my neck with her teeth. "But I can wait for both." When she took a step away, I could start breathing again.

Doubling down, I focused on making her the sandwich. "What about us?"

"I have to go back. That's non-negotiable. I need to give my report and ask Jeff what he wants from me next—or ask whoever replaces Jeff if they want me back here." With each step Clair took back to the table I could think a little clearer. "You don't—"

"What did I tell you?" I asked as I cut the sandwich in half. "What did I vow?"

"You're too good, you know that? We'll take Riley with us, then, and I'll complete my report and, failing any further requirements… What then?" Clair practically fell upon the sandwich on her plate when I landed it before her.

I walked around and sat opposite her while Clair ate—using my magic to wash up at the sink (some parts of being a pony I was definitely okay with). Watching her eat, I was struck by how normal pony-Clair looked to me. I know I let out a contented sigh because she paused and lifted one eyebrow.

"Just you, Clair Ree. When I first saw us after coming over, I lamented not seeing my beautiful wife for years, but poniness seems good at seeping in and making you think that all this is natural," I said.

She just nodded, chewing on a sandwich she was holding with one hoof. When she gulped down her mouthful, she chuckled at me. "I agree, for what it's worth. I look at you, Philip, and I see you. It's not you in some strange body, or an alien replacement of you. I see the husband I married, and I want you."

It was getting harder and harder to, well, not get harder and harder. The gag, even in my own head, made me smile a little more. "Eat your damn sandwich."

Saffron Ree

My thoughts were still circling around the conversation with Princess Twilight Sparkle. I could stay, but I'd need to stay enrolled at Wonderbolts' school until I was legally and adult in Equestria, and I'd need to find somepony to act as my guardian.

The first was easy—I freakin' loved going to school there. The second bit, I hoped, would work out too. I'd ask Sharp Turn.

"Mom and Dad are going to have another kid at this rate," Riley said. "Aren't they?"

Well, there was something to yank me out of my thoughts. Remembering why we were outside, I laughed. "Probably. Man, that'll be odd."

"Why?"

I turned and looked at Riley, and it took me a heartbeat to remember that though she wasn't as young as she looked, she was still young enough not to think too far ahead. "A little brother or sister, here, would be a foal. When Mom and Dad head back to Earth, they might not turn human again. Like Princess Twilight Sparkle." Damn her name and title were a mouthful, but every time I'd mentioned her at Wonderbolts' H.Q., I'd gotten a glare and a reminder that she was ranked way above us. So much for every man created equal.

But there was something to be said for her having worked to become a princess. Even royalty here is a rank you can work at. Kinda awesome, when you think about it. Not that I wanted that job—I wasn't exactly qualified in the most important way.

"Huh. That'd be odd. What if we went back before Mom had them? Would they come out as a human or a pony?"

"Squirt, I have no idea. I leave the magic-magic stuff to unicorns. I'll stick to flying." It wasn't a bad ideal, when I thought about it. It made me look smart, and it was literally one of the most important things in Equestria.

Riley walked over to her tree, now tall enough it'd take me two beats of my wings to get to the top of its branches. She lifted a hoof toward it and touched it, but she didn't get that stiffening vibe she sometimes did when going all out drood mode. "He likes you, you know? When you flap your wings over his leaves, he smells other trees in the air currents you make."

Walking over to stand beside her, I reached my hoof up and gently set it against the tree's bark—and felt nothing magical there. "If you say so. Does it—he—want some now?"

"Yup. There's a poplar tree down the road that got all snooty at him for something. I think he just doesn't like non-fruit-trees."

It'd be so easy to dribble a little magic into my wings. I jumped from the ground and pumped what used to be my arms as hard as I could, twice, and then settled into a hovering stance. Hearing flight positioning being called stances was still a little confusing, but it was how the Wonderbolts called it, so that's what I had to learn.

It was harder work than I thought it would be, ensuring that I was blowing air forward as well as backward. It didn't take long for my wings to start to feel like they were doing real work. "How's this?"

"He really likes that! Can you circle around and flap from the other side? He wants to send a reply!"

Now I was literally the mail service for trees. Well, it kept Riley out of Mom and Dad's manes. I got halfway around to the other side of the tree before realizing I'd thought mane instead of hair. It was why I wound up giggling when I reached the spot and started hover-flapping again.

I felt the rush of air before I saw what made it. From one flap to the next I steadied my wingbeats and turned toward what my feathers told me was something big.

"Got the hang of your wings I see?" Spike's voice was deep, and it came from a dragon about the size of a pair of motorbikes end-to-end. He was freakin' awesome, despite me knowing a lot more about flying, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Kinda. Got a few more years before they'll stop calling me a newbie, but I think I got it covered. What's up?"

Below, a high-pitched voice squealed in excitement—Riley had spotted Spike. "Spiiiiiike!"

"We better land before she calls the Guard down." Spike adjusted his wings and swooped down to land beside Riley—me at his side. "Hey, Riley! How're you?"

Literally bouncing up and down in excitement, Riley looked like she was going to explode. "Soooo much better now. Saf was just helping my tree talk to other trees."

Spike turned his head to look at me. "A pegasus talking to trees? And I thought seeing one talk to animals was surprising!" He raised one eyebrow—well, eye-ridge—and a smile covered his long mouth.

"I can't talk to them. That's Riley's job," I said.

He turned to look at Riley again. "What did they have to say?"

"Well, the polar down the road is really snooty, and sheds its smell a lot. My tree doesn't like it one bit, so he asked me to ask Saf to use his wings to blow a lot of apple tree (that's what he is) smell at it. He's really happy about that." Riley had stopped bouncing to talk, but the moment she stopped, she started looking to climb up on Spike.

Spike lowered his belly to the grass to let Riley climb up. "Oh! Somepony wants to go for a fly? Doesn't your brother take you?"

"He does!" Riley climbed up just below one of Spike's back-ridges and got herself comfortable. "But it wears his wings out trying to do stuff with me there. I can tell."

I jerked as if hit. "I do not get tired!" But I do. It's hard enough practicing basic formation stuff with just my weight, let alone Riley too (and she weighs almost the same as I do).

"You do too! But you're an awesome flier, Saf." Riley managed to stop me in my tracks. How was I meant to argue with a compliment?

"I bet he is. I heard he's in the Wonderbolts already." Spike spread his wings and gave a tremendous pump of them while jumping into the air. It was more amazing to watch now that I could feel with my magic that he wasn't using anything to boost him up. It was all wing power.

Laughing at the craziness of a creature so big that could fly, I jumped into the air and hammered down to get the same altitude Spike seemed to effortlessly grab with each stroke of his huge wings.

He started off with some basic loops and spins, stuff that even I could manage after seeing once or twice, but then he began doing some pretty cool stall-dives that, when I tried them, I had to use magic to pull myself out before I messed up.

Circling around the middle of the city, he waited for me to catch up. "You fly pretty good, Saf." His voice seemed to carry in the air easily, like we weren't flying.

Pulling my shorter wingspan beside and just ahead of his, I laughed. "Not good enough yet. How'd you do that double-stall?"

"The trick is you need the right kind of wings." Spike jerked his head to the side toward his wings. "Dragon wings work different to pony wings. There're things you can do that I can't."

"Huh." I barely noticed he straightened out our flight until we were approaching the gates of the castle! One of the rules that'd been drummed into me was you do not fly over the castle, and you do not fly over the E.U.P. Guard fields without uniform on. "Spike!"

But, to my surprise, rather than bolts of magic or pegasi Royal Guards zooming up to intercept us, we got salutes. I was confused until we landed. Well, until we were about to land, and Princess Twilight Sparkle was waiting for us. Trust a princess to be allowed to okay her friends to fly wherever they want to.

"Twily!" Spike, like the fierce dragon he was, rushed up to Twilight and wrapped both forelegs around her and grabbed her with both his huge wings—there was literally no alicorn visible except for her tail. "When I heard you were back I rushed up here. Why didn't you come to the castle?"

As Spike leaned back and revealed Princess Twilight Sparkle (I'd drum her full name into my head if it was the last thing I did), she was hugging him back just as excitedly.

"I had to report in person to Princess Celestia, and then I got a message that Ambassador Clair Ree wanted to speak with me, and then…" She trailed off as she realized I was standing beside Spike, and Riley was on his back still. I guess a dragon as big as him tends to hide foals. "You brought friends?"

Normally, back home at least, I'd expect an adult to twist such a question into an annoyed sound—like asking You have a bag of rotting garbage? Twilight (Princess Twilight Sparkle, damn it!) sounded even more excited to know we were there. It was shocking in a new way that I hadn't expected. We looked like little foals, adults shouldn't be happy to see us!

"Saf, Riley, say hello," Spike said.

I rolled my eyes at Spike and stepped around his bulk and looked at Princess Twilight Sparkle. "Your Highness."

"Please, Saffron, don't call me that." I hadn't earlier, but I also had been so surprised at seeing her then I was almost freaking out. "Just call me Twilight, please?"

"C-Can you call me Saf?" I asked, my voice almost failing me.

"Sure!" Her smile was huge and caused her whole face to brighten up as a result. "Now, where's Riley?"

Riley, predictably, raced up Spike's back and leapt from his shoulder at Twilight. "Hi!"

Twilight was ready for Riley, it seemed. Her horn flared to life and she plucked my sis out of the air and pulled her in for a hug. "You sure are. I heard you're studying under Moon Dancer."

"Yup! She's a really good teacher, but really strict." Riley hung from Twilight's neck before dropping to the ground and shaking her head. One day my little sis would start an interdimensional war by doing something like this, and then probably stop it moments later by just being herself.

"That's not too surprising. She's way more into schooling than even I am—and I'm really into learning. But then, you're not the only one signing up for school." Twilight turned her head enough that I knew she was looking at me. "Your big brother wants to be a Wonderbolt."

Rily nodded and puffed her chest out. "Saf could totally be a Wonderbolt! He's the best at flying of anypony I know!"

"Hey," Spike said. "What does that make me?"

When my sis turned back to Spike with a stricken look on her face, I felt it was my duty to back her up. "The best at flying of anydragon we know."

"R-Right!" Riley looked back at me with the biggest grin ever.

"And what about me?" Twilight asked.

Without missing a beat now, Riley turned back and giggled. "The best flier of anyprincess we know."

"How would you both like to come and meet my teacher? I was just talking to her about you two." Gesturing with a wing, Twilight pointed back to the castle-thing she'd just left. It was a literal palace. I mean, I'd been to the White House, and that was kinda awesome in a historical way, but this was a freakin' castle!

"Really? I'd like that!" Riley started bouncing up and down in excitement.

I could take a hint. Her teacher, from what I'd heard, was Princess Celestia—one of the rulers of Equestria. Well, Twilight was too, but she was also kinda awesome in that she just wanted to be talked to. Like "uncle" Jeff. "Uncle" Jeff who was the president. I followed along beside Riley while she and Twilight chatted. Spike took up on Twilight's other side.

Dragons, it seemed, were kinda a mess on the ground. Spike in the air was this force of nature that could move with the slightest flick of his wings. Walking, he was more like a big lizard, and kinda waddled a bit. Not that I'd say that to his face—or out loud.

Twilight looked at me over Riley's back as we stepped into the huge entrance hall. Like outside, none of the guards so much as blinked at us being there. "Saf, you don't need to worry. Princess Celestia agreed with me."

Well, that was one worry gone. So what was this meeting about if not to beg her to let me stay? "So why are we meeting her?" I asked.

"You'll see." Twilight almost walked into a set of doors, only for two of the Royal Guard (I'd learned a pile about them in school) to use their magic to open them.

It looked like this was the throne room, what with the thrones being here. It was huge, and looked like it could hold an entire army (more if they were flying). At the other end was a series of raised platforms that had three thrones atop them. Only one was occupied right now, and by Princess Celestia.

"Princess Celestia," Twilight said and bowed. "I'd like to prese—"

"Twilight. How many more years do I have to keep telling you to just call me Celestia?" Apparently, sitting on a throne meant you got to interrupt people—even princesses. I remember uncle Jeff told me once he made a point not to interrupt people. I thought he was nuts, but then, I didn't win an election. Hey, neither did Celestia…

"And how many times am I going to tell you, Princess Celestia, that on the throne you are the princess in charge." Twilight glared upward at Celestia for a few seconds before she broke her stern expression with a grin. "How many more years are we going to do that for?"

"As many as you wish. I enjoy being told I'm doing something wrong." Celestia's voice came from much closer, and when I looked she was at the bottom of the platforms and walking closer. "Twilight, Spike, it's always wonderful to see you both."

As she got closer, I realized just how big Celestia was. She towered above Twilight, and Spike was only a little taller than her when he stood up straight. Both were moving forward to meet Celestia and hug.

Ponies were pretty big on hugging. It was a surprise to get hugs from ponies I barely knew, but it seemed to be almost as common as shaking hands or fist-bumping was back home. I was still trying to work out how good it really was. I mean, in another ten years or so I'm sure it will be both awesome and embarrassing (for the same reason), but right now it was just a reminder of how much smaller than the other students I am.

"This must be Saffron and Riley Ree." Celestia's voice snapped me out of my thinking about hugging. Huh, maybe I wasn't that far away from puberty after all? "It's wonderful to see you both. What brings you to me today?"

Okay, Saf, suck it up and be the big guy. Thank her using every ounce of pony you've gained an forget snarking. One. Two. Th—

"Hi, Princess Celestia! We were just messing around and Spike brought us up here, and then Twilight told us to come and say hello. So, hello!" Riley said.

Yeah. A war or everlasting peace.

But, Celestia's smiled only grew wider as she looked down at Riley beside me. "Ah, the little filly my sister has told me so much about. I believe there's a singular honor that I'm missing out on." Given the way Celestia's mane hung across half her face, it was impossible to tell if she was raising one eyebrow or both.

Riley looked up at me as if I had all the answers. When someone has been alive longer than all human history, I can't even make a guess.

"Don't ask me," I said.

When Riley looked back up at Celestia, a golden glow wrapped around her as Celestia's magic took hold of my little sister. Okay, this might be it. She could toss stars around, what was one little filly to—

Princess Celestia, practically a god here, lifted my little sister up and put the little munchkin on her back. "There. Now you have been on the back of every princess."

What even is this? How am I meant to take this serious anymore? I mean, flight school has a lot of silly stuff in it, but it also has a ton to teach me about how to fly, but this is supposed to be a how-many-thousand-year-old leader of Equestria playing pony-back rides with my little sister?

"Saf?" Twilight asked. "You look like Discord just did something behind my back, and he better not have."

"Would I do that? I mean, honestly, in front of the new foals that just so happened to arrive and not be introduced to moi?" The creature floating in the air was completely absurd. It'd appeared like a unicorn, but it surely wasn't using its horn(s) to do magic, and its tiny wings shouldn't let it fly. Mix-matched wings and a body like some kind of fuzzy snake, it had four mismatched limbs and the strangest expression—it looked crazy. "Pleased to meet you. Discord S. Chaos, at your service."

What was kind of reassuring was that neither princess nor Spike seemed ready to attack Discord, and he was offering me his hand. Paw. Whatever.

Reaching out with a wing, I took his paw and started to shake. "We kinda got railroaded, what with being too young to be out on our own and stuff. I'm Saf."

"Well look at this? Somepony with manners!" Discord shook my wing a few times. "But tell me, have you considered your options a little? I mean, I know the delightful guise of a pony is all but irresistible and all, but have you considered draconequus?"

The first I knew that something very odd had happened, Discord had snapped his fingers. Claws? Paws? Whatever. There was a sickening lurch and then I wasn't standing on all fours anymore. I was floating.

Looking down at myself, I saw I was long and thin like Discord, but while he had a mixture of talon and paw for hands, then hoof and some kind of scaled leg, I had a pony leg and a tentacle for arms, then what looked like a fox and a human back leg. My tail looked like a pony's, but I had a pony wing and some kind of fish fin on the other side.

Panic, fear, anger—I tried to squeeze down on my emotions and just deal with what'd happened, but it wasn't working. It didn't help that it started to rain chocolate milk.

"Oh dear. Got a case of the chocolates? Here, let me help." Slapping me on the back with his paw, Discord genuinely seemed trying to help. What actually happened was I coughed up a box of very expensive-looking chocolates. "Hrmm, wrong setting. I was trying for caramel."

I snorted at that. There was something not-serious about him, yet at the same time terrifying in what he could do. He'd just turned me into something like him, so I had to assume he could turn me back. "What about salted caramel?"

Discord's eyes widened and his smile stretched from ear to ear—almost literally. "What's this? A being of such perfection and majesty that he gets my jokes?" A popping sound accompanied a second Discord appearing. They both looked at each other and waggled their eyebrows at me.

"You're beside yourself?" I asked.

"Yes!" Fireworks shot into the air and Discord (just one of him now) twirled me in a circle. "Oh how many years I've dreamed of finding someequus that just gets me. Well, apart from Fluttershy."

"Discord!" Twilight Sparkle didn't sound happy. "Turn Saf back to his old self right—I mean, turn him to his pony self right now!"

Elbowing me in the side of my oddly noodle-like body, Discord rolled his eyes—all the way around, several times. "See what I have to put up with? You sure you want to go back? I could make an exception if you wanted to stay like this. Just this once, of course."

He was kind of a joke. A running gag. There was still an air of crazy around him, but it was a good kind of crazy. "Nah. I've got this Wonderbolt's school thing going, and awesome as the fin is, I don't think they'd let me hang around unless I had my wings back."

"Oh, alright. How about this?" Discord lifted his paw up and I watched his fingers (whatever, they look like fingers) snapped.

I spread my wings to catch me as whatever magic had me floating stopped. Landing on my hooves, I felt something a little different. "What'd you change?"

"Saf!" Riley sounded shocked. "Saf!"

I turned to my little sister. "What is it, squirt?"

"You're a princess!"

I reached up with my wing and felt at my forehead with my feathers. Sure enough, I had a horn. "Uh. Okay. This is a little different. Does this thing work?"

"I've got a big sister! I've got a big sister! I've got—"

Grabbing Riley with my wing, I managed to hold her snout shut for about half a second before she easily pulled free. "Riley, can it."

"Discord," Celestia said, "We've been through this. You can't go making random ponies into alicorns. It doesn't work like that."

Reaching out to my forehead, Discord flicked at what I could assume was the horn on my head. It made a twang-twang sound as if it were made of rubber. "You're only saying that so you can have the monopoly on them. What if I want to start my own nation? I'll fill it with draconequui and alicorns! But I think I should standardize color." He turned to me. "What do you think about red and black? I find them quite fetching."

A hoof slamming into the floor echoed around the throne room and silenced everyone. We all stared at Celestia, and glared at Discord. She didn't say a word.

"You're no fun anymore." Another snap of Discord's finger-things and I felt kinda back to normal.

I no longer had that slight weight on the top of my forehead, and stuff in general seemed normal again. Then it hit me. "Did you make me into a filly?" I looked at Discord more in shock than in actual panic—I was myself again, after all.

"Of course. I could hardly have made you a male alicorn, that just wouldn't work at all. Now, if you wanted to go dragon—" Discord froze as he glanced at Celestia again. "I suppose you want me to say I'm sorry and all that?"

Right. Sure. I just got turned into some kind of snake-dragon-horse, then into a filly princess, then back to myself again. Well, as myself as a flying pony is. "Is he always like this?"

"Thirty years ago he was much worse," Twilight said.

Riley turned to Discord. "Really? What'd you do?"

"Well,"—a puffing sound later and I was sitting on a huge couch chair with Riley beside me and Discord sitting across from us on another—"I was all turned to stone at the time, and when I broke free you have to understand I was terribly upset at having been stuck like that for so lo—"

"Discord!" The shout was softer than anything Celestia or Twilight had managed, but just the sound of it turned Discord's face ashen. I knew the source—Fluttershy. "Discord, what are you doing to these foals?"

"F-Fluttershy!" Discord made a popping sound and the couches disappeared. "What are you do—I mean, how are you doing? I was just welcoming these lovely creatures to Equestria, and was giving them a tour of the various creatures that are here."

"Hi, Fluttershy," I said.

Fluttershy's attention turned to me from Discord, and her face broke from the stern glare to a happy smile. Practically prancing, she trotted over to me and wrapped me up in a wing-hug. "It's so good to see you again, Saf. Rainbow was telling me all about your training at the Wonderbolts."

Discord slipped a few ponylengths to the side. "Maybe I'll just be going?"

"We'll discuss this later, Discord." Fluttershy's tone had flipped from warm and welcoming to cold as ice. She turned back to me and smiled.

"R-Right, yeah. Uh, we were just talking about that, right?" I turned to look at Celestia and Twilight—who both had smiles once more on their faces. "Right?"

"We were. Specifically your interest in remaining here to train your flying." Celestia sounded like all the cold fury aimed toward Discord was gone. I had to wonder how ponies could just let go of that kind of anger so easily. "I've come up with a solution—a promise."

Celestia cleared her throat. "Saffron Ree, the moment it is revealed you must leave Equestria, I extend to you full citizenship in Equestria. You have only to ask, at that point, and you will be allowed to stay."

I was surprised by how much emotion welled up inside me. Excitement and relief were foremost. "How can it be that simple? Don't you have to…" I only trailed off because both Celestia and Twilight were chuckling at me. "What?"

"Twilight and your own mother explained how your birth world is often mired in red tape. The advantage of our system of government is that when Luna, Twilight, Cadance, or myself say something, it is the letter of the law." Celestia's attention shifted from me to Riley. "The same goes for you, young filly, but on the contingent your parents agree to it or you're of legal age at the time."

"Don't forget their parents, Pr—Celestia," Twilight said.

"Of course. Saffron, please let your parents know that, should they wish to retire in Equestria, they are most welcome." Though she kept calling me by my full name, I kinda couldn't be angry at Celestia for it. After all, she had just made sure I could stay if I wanted.

"Why don't I take you back home?" Spike asked.

The moment Spike spoke, Riley looked conflicted. Her head snapped back and forth between Celestia and Spike so much I was worried she might actually hurt herself.

I reached my own hoof out to Riley. "C'mon, squirt. We've bothered Princess Celestia enough. Remember what Mom said about bugging Uncle Jeff?"

The conflict on my little sister's face was kinda cute, but she eventually let out a sigh and walked back to me. "Bye Princess Celestia, Princess Twilight!"

"Goodbye, Riley Ree, Saffron Ree," Princess Celestia said.

As Spike turned to walk out with us, I paused. "I can carry her home if you want to hang around here?"

Spike blew a double-barrel of smoke from his nostrils. "It's appreciated, Saf, but a dragon is nothing if he doesn't see things completed himself. Hop up, Riley."

Alright. As he stretched out his wing for Riley to scamper up, I had just a little wing-envy. Everything about Spike was built on a scale ponies just couldn't reach. He was huge. We walked past all the guards and ponies waiting to see Celestia, and as we reached the door that led outside Spike started to unfold his wings again.

Author's Note

Princess Twilight, Luna, Celestia and Cadance: with the revelation that humans who move to Equestria transform into ponies, increased lifespan included, are you making preparations for a surge of immigration requests?

"Don't look at me, this has nothing to do with the Crystal Empire," Cadance said.

And with that, Luna, Twilight, and Cadance all looked at Celestia. "Ambassador Ree and myself agreed that we should keep things restricted for now. Without just cause, we are not issuing any visas except diplomatic ones. We would prefer it if we could get a good understanding of what culture shock, technology shock, and misconceptions ponies and humans will have in each other's worlds."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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