Philip Ree

I raised my eyebrow at my son. "A book for children?" Never mind that I had no idea how to even pick it up, it was still confusing. "How will this help?"

"Dad, it's not just a book for children. It's a book for unicorn foals. It helps them learn to use magic," Saffron said.

How he was holding the book with what seemed to be just a hoof was the only remaining mystery, but now I was more curious about the book. "Okay. Where'd you get it then?"

We were sitting in one of the bedrooms of the suite we'd been assigned to. Clair was in the living room speaking to Starlight—still—and we were all just getting comfortable when Saf had brought back his load of books looking way too smug for the fact he was an almost-adult trapped in a child's body.

"A dragon gave it to me." He looked about a smug as any teen could. "He picked it out himself, and then we sat down and read some books while Mom was talking to Starlight. I kinda get the impression that Princess Twilight's kinda a big thing here."

"She has her own castle, her own staff, and runs a school. From what I understand, she was instrumental in securing the other human world's support, and has saved the world more times than you have limbs." As I worked up to the pun, and delivered it, I watched Saf's eyes roll in the tried and true teenager style.

"You haven't heard the half of it, Dad. I was reading about a bunch of ponies thousands of years ago who defeated and banished a group of sirens! Huge monsters that can control ponies with their minds. But the craziest thing? The ponies who did it are still alive. I haven't read how, yet, but Spike assured me it was true, and I have the book about that adventure." Saf was actually flushed by the time he got to the end of his explanation—I'd honestly never seen him so excited about something that wasn't a video game before. "Why're you looking at me like that for?"

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like—Ugh! All this pony stuff is getting to me. I'm going to practice using my wings." Saf turned and left the room.

I looked down at the book and rubbed my chin with one hoof. So far I'd tried to use magic just once, and after Moon Dancer had cleaned up the mess I'd made, I'd promised not to do it again. This was different, though.

Turning the first page, I looked through and realized this really was aimed at foals, but it was well written enough that I could see the exercises it got them to do. The first was easy. Feel my magic, breathe in and let it build, then just relax.

"This is just like Yoga. Focused breathing and concentration." I sat up, faced the wall, closed my eyes, and tried to focus on that strange energy I'd felt when I'd painted a room purple.

Inhale. Building my magic.

Exhale. Relax.

I tingled all over, but nowhere more so than my forehead. The place where my horn met my head practically buzzed, but not in a bad way. I felt raw potential build in me as I did the exercise again, then the exhale released it harmlessly.

Over and over, I built the magic up and slowly let it out. All my yogis and all their talk of vital energy were nothing like the real thing. I quickly lost count, relaxing into a slow rhythm of inhale and exhale that worked magic through me again and again.

"Philip? Dear, are you awake?" Clair's voice came from somewhere in the room.

I lifted my head, feeling more than a little spaced out, and nodded. Then I remembered words. "Y-Yeah. Wow. I tried some exercises for my magic, and it is really amazing." Even shaking my head didn't clear the serenity that I felt. I was calm, relaxed, practically sleep-walking, but fully awake.

"Do you want to come outside? The city is throwing a party for us."

"The city?" I asked.

"Well, the mare Twilight warned me about. She's been organizing this huge celebration that's supposed to encompass a party for us coming here, Twilight's success, and all of our birthdays rolled into one. If I had to guess, I'd say she snorts caffeine and sugar by the pound." Clair's voice got closer and closer until she nuzzled my cheek.

I turned my head so we could kiss, then we both giggled ourselves silly at the mechanics of kissing with snouts. "Well, we can't really skip out on over a hundred a forty years of birthday parties. Though, you are tempting me to."

"Philip Ree. We've been turned into ponies for just two days and you're already getting frisky?"

"Yes."

"Hold that thought until later. We'll go, have some cake and meet everyone, then come back and see what's different about tab A and slot B," Clair said.

That kind of language I couldn't ignore. Turning fully to face her, I could see Clair in the strong lines of her body, the way she held herself, but what sold me on the mare being my wife was her eyes. A shiver ran through me, and I climbed carefully off the bed. "Tab A?"

"Yes. Tab A. I'm sure you have one still, and unless something really strange happened since I last used the bathroom, I definitely have a Slot B. But that's not on the cards until after the party. Come on." She turned back for the door and opened it.

I took one glance back at the book about magic, and promised myself I'd come back to it. If there was even one more exercise half as relaxing as what I'd just done, it would be worth it. "Coming, dear."

Leaving the room, I saw Clair and Riley waiting by the front door. Clair gave me the look that said He's your son, and nodded her head toward a doorway.

Delivering my best smile, I headed for the room. I knocked.

"I said I'm not going!" Saf said from inside.

I knocked again. The problem with Saf being stubborn is he got it from both Clair and me. "I can knock all night, Saf."

The sound of hoofsteps preceded the door opening. "I'm not going, Dad. I don't have to go."

"You'll make a mare sad." As soon as I said it, I saw one distinct eyebrow on Saf's face rise. "Starlight explained about her. Pinkie Pie is persistent. She won't stop pushing if she thinks you need a party. Besides, there'll be girls there."

Saf snorted. "Pony girls. And I don't care what—"

"Saf, come on. I read the damn book and everything," I said.

"You really read it? How'd it go?" This was the better Saffron than the belligerent teen. Curious Saf was easier to persuade.

"I got as far as the first exercise and nearly freaked out at how relaxing and amazing it is. Real magic feels so—so real. Now get your ass out here, Saf. I'm not going through this alone." As I turned from the room, Saf let out a groan and followed.

Starlight Glimmer led us outside the rooms where our escort waited. Four colts—trained military men—looked particularly annoyed. They were missing their guns. Each of the four glared in any direction but that of the two Royal Guard that looked as stoic as our guards should have.

"Captain Bell, this is a social event. You are off duty tonight." Clair gave Bell a look that I'd long since learned to nod along to, though he seemed resistant. "Ms Glimmer has assured me that we will be safe."

"Sir. Starlight Glimmer explained the situation. The Royal Guard normally wouldn't attend upon such an event—particularly not here—but if we are needed, you just need to shout," one of the big Royal Guard said.

Bell looked unsure, but then he marched up to the Royal Guard and looked up at him as if height didn't matter at all. "If you were in a foreign land, and your princess asked you to put your weapons down and leave her without defense, would you do it?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Would you like it?"

"No, Captain." The Royal Guardspony had a lopsided smile now.

For a moment Bell looked like he might say something else, but in the end he grunted and turned to his squad. "We're going in a strictly observational capacity. No fraternization and no distractions. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" three voices called.

And with that, it seemed, we were safe to move. I fell in beside Clair, who walked behind Starlight. Conversation was nonexistent until we got outside. The light of a bright moon in the sky lit up the world with a pale, pure light that proved brighter than the magic lighting that seemed to permeate the castle.

Waiting outside for us was an amazing pony. She stood bigger than even our guards, and her deep blue coat was perfectly uniform all over. She bore cloven hooves and a horn like a unicorn, but she also had the wings of a pegasus and a solid build I'd come to associate with an earth pony.

Her mane and tail were astounding, capturing the night sky in flowing waves that could only be magic. The mark on her flank—that everypony but us had—was a dark black splotch with a white moon on it.

"Princess Luna! It's great to see you!" Starlight Glimmer practically bounced over to the bigger mare, bubbly and excited. What had jolted my little world was what her prancing gait had revealed.

Freezing for a moment as I realized how exposed we were, my American sensibilities tried to scream at me, compelling me to think one, horrible word—naked.

Clair covered for me. She leaned across and kissed my cheek. "You saw that too, Philip?"

I could only nod a little.

"She arches her tail more than even Twilight did. I'm surprised it took you this long. Oh. Don't look now. I need to go play diplomat. I'll be back in a moment." Clair kissed me again and walked after Starlight. Clair held her tail down, I noticed.

I turned to our children. "Saf, did you—?"

"Yeah, Dad. I saw it," Saf said.

"Saw what?" Riley looked about as if there was something she missed, then realized she'd missed a whole princess.

I reached out a hoof to gently catch my daughter, and distract her from a visiting head of state, but she seemed to plow past me without my attempts to stop her hindering at all. "Riley Ree."

Riley froze and slowly turned to look at me.

"Wait for your mother to invite you over. We might be having a fun evening, but she's here to work." My admonishment might have worked had not pony hearing been sharper than human.

Riley was walking back to me when Princess Luna caught up with her. "This is your family, Clair Ree?" Her voice was very careful and sounded like a princess' should.

"Of course, Princess Luna. This is my husband, Philip Ree, this is our son, Saffron Ree, and this is our daughter Riley Ree. Our four escorts are our guards." Clair made gestures to introduce each of us, and as Luna's gaze swept past, I had the vaguest sense of eternity in her look.

"I am pleased to welcome you to Equestria. My sister would be here, but she had a particularly difficult situation to take care of." Princess Luna gazed to Riley after meeting the looks of everyone else. She looked at our excitable daughter for nearly a minute—quiet. "Canst I race thou to the square?"

"What?" The words had disarmed Riley for long enough that Princess Luna took off at a gallop.

"She wants to race you, doofus," Saf said.

Riley's hooves were a blur of motion, and she was suddenly galloping after Princess Luna as fast as she could. I turned to look at Clair. "This is a strange place."

Clair Ree

"You don't know the half of it. It's a party, let's just…" I trailed off, fishing for the words to explain my feel for the event. I was at the point of mentally surrendering and begging Starlight to carry me back inside with her magic.

When Philip's lips met my cheek, however, the weariness faded. I nuzzled him in return. "Better?" he asked.

I nodded. "Much better. I think we can trust Riley's safety to Princess Luna. In the meantime, let's get to this party."

The walk to town was much more sedate than Princess Luna or Riley's, but we made it all the same. As we walked, I turned to Starlight. "How is it everyone can understand us?" I asked.

"Well, Twilight used a universal translation spell on herself when she went to your world, but we decided it would be best if everyone who came through the portal and was trans—What was that word again?" Starlight asked.

"Transmogrified," I said.

"Right. Everyone who gets transmogrified into a pony will have the Ponish language bestowed upon them. We just figured that would be the easiest way, rather than making you all learn it from scratch." Starlight Glimmer waved a hoof in the air as if learning a language would still only be a minor inconvenience.

"Was there anything else done as part of that?" I wasn't exactly angry—it was a useful thing—but a lack of transparency at this point was not appreciated. My tone wasn't chilly, just a little flat.

Starlight seemed to slump a little. "That was my fault. I totally should have had Twilight tell you about that. It was really such a minor thing, and I was completely focused on getting the main part of the spell right, that I forgot about it."

I raised an eyebrow.

"What? Oh! No, that is the extent of things," Starlight Glimmer said.

"Thank you, Starlight. I'll make sure to report that we were duly notified of such." It was a bone—a favor—but trading favors with high-ranking officials was part of politics. "Let's forget about it for now and enjoy the evening."

I had to wonder how politically involved Starlight actually was. The look she gave me made me think she truly thought that would be the end of things. Well, even if she weren't aware of the undertones, she would remember I did something nice for her.

Was I corrupting ponies? Was this how the evil of politics spread? They mentioned previous contact with another human civilization, surely they have encountered this before—Starlight must just be out of the loop. Which meant I was wasting my time using it on her.

"Princess Luna seemed happy to be here," I said.

"Oh yes. This was where Twilight Sparkle freed Luna of the influence of Nightmare Moon." Starlight seemed nervous about that, like there was more to it. "And she has had some—from what I've heard—good times here."

Fascinating as it was, I honestly did want to just unwind. It had been two long days so far, and even without anything to show for it, I needed to relax.

Our slow walk took us all the way to the edge of the party, which is where the ambush happened.

It began so quickly that none of us were prepared.

"There you are! Have a cupcake! Have ten! I baked them all myself!" Pinkie Pie had, as she spoke, produced no less than three trays of the most amazing cupcakes. I could smell literally all the wonderful flavors that I could imagine, and every single one of them looked to have more sugar than was probably healthy.

But Pinkie Pie had offered them, and I couldn't say no. Which brought up the problem of me not knowing how to hold things with anything but my mouth. I looked longingly at the cupcakes.

"What's the matter?" Pinkie Pie asked.

It wasn't that I didn't know there was some way to hold things with a hoof—Pinkie was doing it right now—but I couldn't work it out. "I've only been here a day, I haven't worked out how to hold things yet."

"Aww, well that's no good!" Somehow, Pinkie Pie set one of the trays to balance on her head while she gave her chin a good tap. I was still uncomfortably aware that she was balancing on one hoof. "Oh! I know the way to fix this. We use the patent-pending Pinkie Pie food-gobbling-face-plant technique!"

As I watched, she held up a tray of cupcakes and literally smooshed her face down into them. It looked like a mess—cake everywhere—but when she lifted her head up, Pinkie had somehow gotten them all into her mouth, and gulped them down.

"Now you try!"

"How did—?" I asked.

"No, no, no! Don't ask, just do!" Pinkie made an expressive gesture with the hoof that no longer held the tray she'd cleaned off, indicating the tray before me.

I looked down at a tray of cakes, and could visualize how silly I'd look if—if whatever magic she used didn't work on me. Well, silliness was its own way of fitting in. Opening my mouth wide, I dove at the tray.

"You did it!" Pinkie Pie had procured a small artillery piece that deployed confetti from somewhere, and fired it into the air.

As I closed my mouth, a dozen delicious flavors hit me. The most amazing cakes, wonderful icing, frosting that left my legs wobbling. Pure. Perfect. Bliss. But I had to gulp it down, something else that seemed strangely easy. "Those are amazing, Pinkie."

"Thanks!" The compliment seemed to inflate Pinkie's mood to new heights. "But we have important birthdayarrivalversary stuff we have to do now!"

From the corner of my eye I saw Princess Luna striding through the crowd purposefully. She had a bright smile on her face, and my daughter on her back. I drew my attention back to Pinkie Pie, and felt the world brighten as I did so—I was distinctly glad I wasn't diabetic. "Lead on!"

With Pinkie Pie taking charge, I quickly looked and saw Philip being left behind—a smile on his face. Who cares? Let him have fun his way, I was going to embrace this cultural moment.

"Everypony!" Somehow Pinkie Pie was heard over everyone present, and the whole town went quiet to listen. "Welcome to the third birthdayarrivalversary I've ever held. Tonight's is in honor of Clairilee, her family, and friends!"

I tried to correct her, but like they sensed it being the right moment, everyone cheered and stomped their hooves. Every face in the crowd turned to me as the stomping and shouting stopped.

It was time for some charm. I quickly adjusted my headspace to accommodate a few new things. "Hello everypony! Thanks for welcoming me and my family, as well as my nation! I'm so happy to be here tonight to make a lot of new friends!"

As the crowd exploded, hooves going wild and cheering amassing like a storm, I felt a warm sensation spread through me. This wasn't what I'd signed on for, but the raw excitement and exuberance was impossible to deny—they loved meeting new people and making new friends.

I was cheating, of course. Twilight Sparkle being the princess of friendship was a dead give away. Slipping everypony and friend into my little speech was simple, but it paid off. Dammit, Jeff, you were right.

"Okay, this one is going to be even more tricky." Pinkie Pie had slid back up beside me with a large wooden mug of some liquid. "Have you ever caught food mid-air?"

My brain made the connection. "Like cheez-its?"

"Yes! Now, CATCH!" As Pinkie Pie shouted, she banged the bottom of the mug with her hoof.

I watched the liquid inside the mug exit the top as a single mass. My reflexes pushed me, and leaning forward I opened my mouth and sighted down my nose.

The drink hung in the air. I lunged forward and snapped my mouth closed around it. Wild stomping and cheering came from the ponies around me as a spicy apple drink hit my taste buds. I gulped the drink down and realized it was a dry, aged cider.

Gasping in delight, I actually felt so happy I bounced on my hooves in excitement. Whatever else I could say about ponies, their mood was catching. "That was delicious."

"Ah'd say this's the first time somepony from another universe liked my cider, but it ain't." An orange-furred mare with platinum mane, who happened to have the thickest country accent I'd ever heard, tipped her hat in my direction. "But it's good t' see it ain't lost its touch. M'name's Applejack."

"You made this? It's wonderful," I said. "Hold on, Twilight mentioned your name once, one of her closest friends?"

"Sure am," Applejack said with a widening smile.

"My name—" I said.

"Clairilee. Ah heard. Welcome to Ponyville, Clairilee—Equestria too, Ah guess."

If I was going to fight this, now was the time. "Well, it's actually—"

"Darlings! Who do we have here?" A new arrival, a unicorn mare who shared Saffron's white fur but bearing an exquisitely pampered mane and tail of pure violet, blinked her blue eyes at me.

"Howdy Rarity. This here's Clairilee. She's the new ambassador Twi sent over," Applejack said.

I was undone. Everyone—everypony—would know me as Clairilee before the night was over. My despair must have shown because Rarity (the name rang a bell, possibly another of Twilight's named friends) reached out a dainty, split hoof for my chin and tilted my jaw up.

"What has you so sad, dear? You really should smile more." Rarity looked into my eyes, concern radiating from her in a flood of empathy that no amount of social differences could deny. She succeeded. "There you go. Much better. Now what had you down, Clairilee?"

It was impossible. A tidal wave of ponies all knowing me as Clairilee seemed arrayed and ready to reinforce the name. I was stuck. "I'm sure it's nothing. I'm pleased to meet you, Rarity."

Her reaction encompassed delight and acceptance. "A sentiment I share, of course." Rarity seemed on the verge of saying something, teetering back and forth, but then she made her decision. "Oh. I simply have to ask. Do humans wear clothes where you're from?"

Left field, here's the fly-ball!

I blinked away my confusion. "Yes. All the time."

"Just like the other one, then. It must be so wonderful!" Rarity seemed to trail off into her own happy-land, only to snap back sharply. "Oh, but I'm rambling. The other humans who came here kept complaining about a lack of clothes, and when Twilight sent word that you were coming—well—I might have made a few things for you."

Rarity got my full attention. It had been bugging me, but it had felt normal to just walk around. "H-How did you know our sizes?"

"Well, I didn't. I made a range of clothes in all different and varied sizes. I'll be able to customize any of them to fit, of course, and there's a range of things for stallions or mares. I admit I wasn't prepared for you bringing foals, or so many, but I can make something for them too." The more Rarity spoke about making clothes, the more animated she became.

"Thank you so much. I believe I'll be coming to visit in the morning. Is there something I can pay you with?" I asked.

"Oh no, darling no, no, no! When it is a fashion emergency, I will not have it be said that I failed to heed the call." Rarity waved off the very idea with one hoof, then flicked her mane. "Of course, should there be something later I might like, perhaps you could help me with it?"

I'd walked right into it. A careless step while offguard and I was indebted to a pony already. After promising to come in the morning, I couldn't very well just not. She had won, and proved to me in a subtle way that ponies did play politics. Or, at least business (which is just selfish politics).

"Well, of course we can, assuming it's not a national safety issue. Business is one element I am here to promote, after all," I said.

"Perfect. I'll see you in the mor—" Rarity was interrupted by the sound of thunder overhead.

Heads craned up just in time to see a wash of rainbow colors streaming across the sky. I know I stared, eyes fixed on the patterns that seemed to rush out in a circular wave from one point. As I looked, I saw the source of the rainbow pattern—a single pegasus.

Wearing some kind of skintight costume of blue, gold, and white, they buzzed past the gathering at a low enough altitude that some hooves were raised high enough for the mystery pegasus to clop their own against. When they swung back around, the daredevil seemed to be coming right at me.

I started to panic, and was ready to jump aside when I realized no one (nopony?) else seemed the least bit worried. Standing my ground, the blue-clad pegasus slammed into the ground in front of me, executing a perfect (if amazing) landing. "Hi! I'm Rainbow Dash!"

Another name I remembered from Twilight's chats. I put on my almost real smile for her.

"This here's Clairilee," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash made a pair of awkward chuckles. "It's good to meet you, Clair Ree." The way she said my name was distinctly separated. Her eyes seemed to twinkle in the bonfire light of the evening.

With an articulate groan, Rarity delivered a haughty look to Rainbow. "No no, Rainbow, it's Clairilee, not Clair Ree. Honestly…"

"Huh? My mistake. Twilight told me all about you in a letter. If you need something, just ask for me." Rainbow Dash struck a pose as she made the pronouncement.

"Well there is one thing," I said. Applejack looked the happiest at my words, while Rarity and Rainbow just looked interested. "I don't know if you heard, but my son and one of our guards have turned into pegasi. I don't know if you have had any experience training people—ponies—but if you could help them learn to fly that would be great."

"Huh." Rainbow Dash looked puzzled for almost a second before her face lit up. "Teach some newbies how to fly? Are you kidding? I was born to fly. This'll be a piece of cake!"

"Will tomorrow morning be too early?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? I didn't make top solo flier of the Wonderbolts by sleeping in half the day!"

Applejack snorted loudly in derision, and Rarity shook her head.

Since I'd already won my concession from her, I decided it was time to let her gloat a little. "What are the Wonderbolts?"

Apparently, talking about the Wonderbolts was even more exciting for Rainbow Dash than talking about herself.

Riley Ree

"And you have a castle of your own, too?" I had to crane my head to look up at Princess Luna. She was big—bigger than Mom—and I was so small I had to run to keep up with her walking. She'd carried me around for a while, but then she put me down and told me I needed to get used to walking.

Princess Luna looked down to me, then she craned her head to look up. "I don't have a castle, but I have the moon."

Confusion reigned. I looked up at the moon now and tilted my head to the side. "You have the—?" My left forehoof caught on something and I started to tumble. Life was unfair, but ponies were awesome. I didn't even hit the ground before pretty blue light flared around me. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome, Riley." Princess Luna floated me back to my hooves, but she stopped and kept looking up. "Yes. It is my moon. Would you like to see it up close?"

I nodded, unable to even think of doing anything but agreeing.

Her horn flaring even brighter blue than when she'd caught me, Princess Luna looked up at the moon.

I couldn't breath, think, or say anything. The moon moved closer, growing larger and larger until it took up nearly three times as much space in the sky. "Wow. That's amazing."

"I'm glad you like it, Riley. I had better put it back before my sister notices. She gets upset with me if I play with the sky too much," Princess Luna said.

"She's your big sister?" I asked.

"Yes, Riley. My big sister." Princess Luna sounded a little sad, but also proud.

I thought about my own sibling. "Saffron's my big brother. He can be a real meanie when he wants to be."

"I was mean to my sister. We said things neither of us meant. We got in an argument and I lost my temper." Leaning down, Princess Luna looked directly at me. "Disagreements are okay, Riley, but don't say things you don't mean to important ponies."

"Yeah." I looked up at Princess Luna and chewed on my lip a little. "Besides, he's my big brother. It's my job to remind him he isn't all that."

Princess Luna's face broke into a smile. "I wish I'd had a diligent little sister like you back then. It might have saved me learning a long lesson about egos."

"Well, tonight I can be your little sister!" I said.

~~Princess~~ Big Sister Luna's eyes widened before she let loose a laugh. "Come, Riley! Would you like to fly?"

I tried to jump onto her back again, but my chances of making the jump were less than zero—without Big Sister Luna giving me a boost with her magic.

"Are you holding on?" Big Sister Luna asked.

About to ask how I would hold on with hooves, the breath was shoved from my throat by Big Sister Luna jumping into the air.

Saffron Ree

"Uh, Dad?" I asked. "Is that Riley riding around on the blue princess' back?"

"She was earlier. What's so—" Dad stopped talking and craned his head upwards in the same direction as mine. He focused on the same thing I did: Riley squealing and riding on Princess Luna's back high above our heads. "See? This is why I can't come to these things alone."

I watched as said princess did a loop-the-loop over our heads while all the ponies around us cheered her on. "Aren't we going to, I don't know, stop her?"

Dad had stopped looking up. "She's a princess, Saf. This is a Mom thing. None of our business."

Asking, But what if she falls? died in my throat. I remembered how Starlight had caught Riley earlier, and obviously Princess Luna was some kind of super unicorn or something as well as being a super pegasus and—

"Hi!" My train of thought was completely derailed by a blue pegasus pony. She looked at me expectantly.

I tried to think of what to reply with. She stood a bit taller than me, though not as tall as Dad, and she was wearing some kind of super tight outfit. "Uh, hi? I'm Saf."

"Saffron, right?" she asked. When I nodded, she started to walk around me. "Yeah, your Mom asked if I could help you learn to fly. I mean, I guess I can, but you do you want to fly, Saf?"

"Y-Yeah, but my wings—" I said.

"Your wings are fine. They're just a little twitchy is all. Can you spread 'em?" she asked.

"Every time I try to use them for anything, my legs mess up." I glared directly into the face of the mare's overconfident smile. "Alright. Alright. Hold on and be ready for my dirtnap." Bracing my legs as much as I could, I slowly started to unfold my wings. As soon as the joint I associated with being my elbow started to move, my legs wobbled.

"Stop. I think I got it. Fold 'em back up, Saf. You're kinda lucky, you know?" she asked.

From experience, I knew she was waiting for a sign from me to continue. "Why?"

"Because your mom got the best flier in all Equestria to help get you flying. Forget about your wings tonight, Saf, you'll be flying by the end of the week, or my name's not Rainbow Dash."

I snorted. "You're kidding, right? Best flier in Equestria? How can you even make a claim like that?"

"You see this uniform? They don't just hand these out to anypony. I'm the number one solo stunt flier for the Wonderbolts, which makes me the best flier—period. But hey, you've got some growing left to do. You might become second best one day, Saffron."

Ugh. She was worse than Gravy. I was about to open my mouth and say something stupid, but her look told me she wanted that. "I'll be a better flier than you one day, Rainbow Crash."

Her subsequent fall sideways to literally roll on the ground laughing caught me off-guard. I stared at her, completely disarmed until she managed to pull herself to her hooves again.

"S-Sorry, Saf, but you couldn't have picked a worse name to call me if you wanted to make me angry. Crash is my nickname. My first year in the Wonderbolts saw me crash into more stuff than anypony else in the history of the team. I'll see you in the morning, newbie." And with that, Rainbow Dash barely twitched her wings out and she shot into the air.

I craned my head to watch her rainbow tail zoom off into the night. She wasn't just fast. From what I saw, Rainbow Dash probably hadn't been lying.

"Dad, I—"

"I saw, Saf. I was right here. Looks like you're going to be busy tomorrow." Dad had a smile that I couldn't really get a read on—damn these pony faces.

To be perfectly honest, I did feel a bit wimpy just sitting around the castle. (Holy shit. How did that phrase become a thing?) Back on Earth I was used to going to the gym with Dad, Riley, and Mom twice a week. So far I had spent most of my time in Equestria sitting around reading, or trying to work out how to use my legs properly.

"Dad?" I asked. "You know what we really need?Like, a doctor for when people need to learn how to walk again. We need one of them."

"A physiotherapist? Not a bad idea. I'll ask Starlight about it tomorrow. You're actually doing pretty well here, Saf."

"Don't say that," I said.

"No. I mean it. You've made friends with a dragon who seems to have some of the best taste in books ever, you wind up with what I think is the pony equivalent of a gold medalist coaching you to fly, and you come up with good ideas for getting us all up to speed in these janky bodies." Dad sounded… proud.

"Dad. I'm like a little kid again. Look at me!" I stomped my hooves as I walked, showing off how lanky and uncoordinated I felt. "I have—like—twenty years before anyone will treat me like an adult!"

"Funny," Dad said. "That mare didn't treat you like a foal."

I wanted to growl, run to my room, turn some angry music up really loud and teach some noobs how to die in Battlefield. The best I could do like this, though, was grumble and stumble back to the castle so I could read a book and—and try not to cry. "I'm going over here, Dad."

Walking away from the crowd, I made my way to a big tree on the edge of town. Sitting down under it, I dropped my head into the shadows that the trunk offered from the light of the party.

And it was about then I realized there was someone—somepony—already here. I sat up and looked at the quiet pony. They seemed to be ignoring me. Instead of talking, introducing myself and striking up a conversation, I just lay back down and blew a snort out.

The night wore on, and my curiosity grew as to the identity of the big pony who lay in the shadows with me. From time to time I watched his eyes, green in the stray bits of moonlight they reflected, following somepony (crap, now I'm actually using it) around at the party.

It felt like hours passed, and maybe one or two had, but I couldn't stand it anymore. "Nice night out here."

"Eeyup," he said.

I almost asked if I was bugging him, but it was obvious I was. Without any idea what to say next, I just lay back down and waited.

"Y're quiet fer a pony," he said at last.

"I was angry. Normally I'd—I'd have other ways of calming down. Sitting down in a quiet place seemed pretty good." I didn't turn to look at him. We both just lay there and watched ponies breaking away from the party in ones, twos, and small groups. One pony started walking our way.

"Hey, Big Mac. Are you comin' home?" the mare asked. Standing the moonlight, I could see a light orange pelt, blonde mane and tail, and three apples on her flank.

"Eventually," my companion said.

I realized she hadn't even seen me in the dark. White fur I might have, but when there wasn't any light, white might as well be black.

"Well, y'all come home when you need to. 'K?"

"Eeyup."

The mare walked away, and I waited until my keen ears couldn't even hear her hoofsteps anymore before asking, "That your girlfriend?"

A bark of laughter erupted from the stallion. "Nnope. Sister."

"Maybe I should head back. I've got flying lessons in the morning."

"Eeyup."

As I pushed myself upward, my wings decided to shoot out to the sides, bending and flexing along with my forelegs' knees. Ignoring the errant limbs for a moment, I made sure to get my hooves down and legs stable first, then turned my attention to folding my wings.

Pulling my wings in a little at the time, I had to struggle to keep my legs from folding with them, but eventually I got my wings folded at my sides. Turning to face the (glowing) castle in the distance, I started putting one hoof before the other.

"If'n you ever want somewhere to relax without any noise, Sweet Apple Acres is pretty good."

I looked back in time to see the stallion stand up, and up, and up, and—Holy shit, he was huge. "S-Sure," I said and watched the monster of a pony walk away slowly in the opposite direction.

Looking back toward the castle, I started off again.

Author's Note

Shining Armor: Knowing that Earth's military is much more advanced and has much more combat experience, how does this make you feel in comparison?

"Uh, well, we've kinda been getting some good training in, what with repeated invasions and surviving them for over thirty thousand years, we've got this under control. Besides, tactically speaking, we have the best beachhead imaginable—one we completely control." Shining shrugged his shoulders. "But that's kinda academic. Kinetic magic shields, enchanted armor, spears that could split a boulder in half and not get dull—We've got our own toys."

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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